ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IN ORDER TO ENSURE NO CHOSEN ONES STRAY FROM THE TRUE PATH (THE GUN IS GOOD, THE PENIS IS EVIL, GO FORTH AND KILL) – ZARDOZ FINDS IT NECESSARY TO CORRECT THE ADVICE GIVING BRUTAL DEAR ABBY, ONCE AGAIN.
Q:I am having issues with a friend who gets handed most everything he wants. I had to grow up when I was very young, pay my own way for things and take care of myself. I work three jobs to pay my rent in a house with four other people while still pursuing my passion.
This friend is unemployed. He lives in an apartment his parents pay for and goes on frequent road trips. I have reached a point where I have become seriously envious, and I’m not sure how to stop feeling frustrated that he has an easier life than I do.
I care about our friendship, but it’s physically painful sometimes when he talks about these luxuries that I can’t afford. Should I cut off the relationship? Is this something I should talk about with him or something I need to work on myself? — ENVIOUS IN NEW YORK
A: UNEMPLOYED YOU SAY? ZARDOZ CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT… PROVIDE COORDINATES FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS. THEY WILL ROUND UP YOUR LUXURY SPOILED FRIEND AND PUT HIM TO WORK IN THE GRAIN FIELDS OF THE VORTEX!
THEN YOU CAN SEIZE THE LAZY AND RICH FRIEND’S WORLDLY GOODS AND DWELLING. SEE, ISN’T ENVY AND THEFT PROFITABLE? OH, AND “PURSUING YOUR PASSION” HAD BEST NOT INVOLVE ANY OF THIS…
OR YOU WILL BE NEXT! ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Q: I have a friend I’ll call Layla. Her best friend, “Matt,” raped her. She doesn’t want to tell anyone, but I think she needs to. She told me Matt has done it multiple times. I love her, and I don’t want it to keep happening because she’s an amazing person.
Her life isn’t going well, either. Her mom has stage 4 colon cancer and is in her final year. Her stepdad isn’t the best person, and Layla has a disease herself. I’m really worried about her. What should I do? — STANDING BY IN OREGON
A: HOW MANY TIMES MUST ZARDOZ REPEAT THIS – THE PENIS IS EVIL! “MATT” NEEDS TO BE CLEANSED…LIKE ALL OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. ZED SAYS HE CAN HANDLE THIS ONE HIMSELF.
SHOULD THIS “MATT” ESCAPE WHILE ZED IS ON THE WAY. ZARDOZ CAN CALL FRIEND STEVE SMITH – FOR HE IS AN INESCAPABLE TRACKER.
ALSO, “MATT” WOULD GET A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE, IFYKWZMAITYD.
AS FOR “LAYLA”, SHE SOUNDS LIKE ONE BROKEN BRUTAL – AS ZARDOZ IS HERE TO HELP, HE WILL SALVAGE YOUR FRIEND. ZARDOZ GRACIOUSLY GRANTS HER TWO OPTIONS:
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
Comments
251 responses to “ZARDOZ RETURNS TO THE ADVICE WELL”
Hail Zardoz!
*waits patiently for my gift of the gun*
I hope those upchucked guns are well coated in cosmoline. I’d hate to see what silicon stomach acid would do to unprotected metal.
I de-cosmoed one gun. That stuff is impressive.
I have some I have to re-do, and I one haven’t started.
The one I haven’t started has been sitting in cosmoline for quite a while. I bought it just before I bought my house and it has been sitting. I tried once to take it apart, but I screwed up a screw. Last year I found a smith that I trusted to remove the screw without fucking anything up beyond the screw.
This summer I’ll take care of the cosmoline. I’ll put solar power to an off-label use that I’m certain our betters would not approve of.
Yes! Solar power and towels ftw.
Kitty litter helps too. Anything absorbent.
And don’t use water on the stock. It’ll raise the grain and you’ll need to sand. Sanding might ruin markings which could lower the gun’s value.
‘Last year I found a smith that I trusted to remove the screw without fucking anything up beyond the screw.’
STEVE SMITH NEVER FUCK UP SCREW! ONLY REMOVE SCREW AFTER GIVING SCREW GOOD AND HARD!
Pro-tip: put the screw driver into the screw. Make sure it is firmly in and straight. Tap lightly on the screwdriver handle a few times with a plastic or rubber hammer four or five times to break loose any corrosion or crud in the threads before trying to crank on the screwdriver. If it doesnt move with firm pressure dont try to crank it hard. Put a little penetrating oil on it and wait up to 24 hours before trying to break it loose.
Woot! I picked up my self-gift of the gun tonight!
Now, since I am a vain swaggering peacock, so I replace the grips with classy black, or pimp purple?
do, not so.
How is this even a question? Pimp Purple.
Ordered.
A pimp’s love is very different from that of a square’s. Go purple.
Don’t listen to these morons. Any gun with Viking purple grips is only going to end up shooting yourself in the foot.
+1 Gary Anderson
+1 Jim Marshall
+1 Plexico Burris (I know he wasn’t a Viking, but he could have been the next Randy Moss, and he done gone and shot himeslf)
I’m a classy guy. Black. But I guess it is too late.
Also ordered. You never know when you’ll be invited to a black-tie range event.
Sup tres!
The Penis truly is evil. I only pray that I too may receive the gift of the gun soon, but all I can get here are airsoft ones at best. Woe to this Brutal. ZARDOZ be praised.
We used to have airsoft wars at work many years ago. One day, I almost shot my employer in the eye and on another a co-worker killed my monitor. We stopped shortly after that.
https://imgur.com/a/t1I58oS
I continue to be impressed with the trigger discipline of the chicks in the magazine. If only actual joes with live bullets were that fastidious.
Sean: I can’t imagine my office ever being down with that lol
Gustave: That is pretty damn hot and yeah that is some fine trigger discipline.
Oh, it was great fun while it lasted. Those little bbs were everywhere…
I ran by the gun shop this morning for some hunting rounds and there were some Brits there very excited to see some guns. I kind of feel bad for them.
I was incredibly happy when my Dad took me to a gun shop when I visited the States a few months back. I am glad those Brits were excited and I hope they got to fire a few rounds while Stateside.
It’s a popular stop for the Brits. I see them all the time coming to shoot guns for the first time.
My Japanese nieces always demand to go to the range and shoot when they visit. I let them plink away with .22s and a 20ga double that I have and they think they are such bad asses.
Once we went out to the country and shot in an old gravel pit and they were utterly amazed that such a thing could happen.
She told me Matt has done it multiple times.
Raped her multiple times? And she sticks around this guy? I think she’s looking for attention.
Or some dick. Just sayin.
If a woman told me that, she certainly wouldn’t get my cock.
Or it’s regret rape. He’s such a loser but I want dick. God, why did I let him fuck me again?
I bet it is rape to her after he bags her and then goes back to ignoring her until the next time he wants some pussy…
I have a friend I’ll call Layla.
Matt’s got her on her knees.
And Scotty doesn’t know.
That was a fun movie, and that song was catchier than it should have been.
Layla or Felicia? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X46e4Qnr1TY
Felisha ?
Mighty ZARDOZ
I am on the team that chooses presenters for a convention. A vague accusation of improper behavior about one of our selected presenters have surfaced, from an ex partner with whom the presenter recently split up. I think the rest of the team is going to cave an un-invite the presenter on a rather flimsy accusation. As the presenter is someone who has advocated exactly this sort of thing in the past, I have a bit of a conundrum.
Do I quit the team in protest and give up my free room and admission to the conference? Or do I stick in place and laugh at the presenter getting hoisted by their own petard?
Cleanse them all. Duh.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN CONUNDRUMED ONE.
CLEANSING IS ALWAYS CORRECT. ALSO, THE TAKING FREE STUFF AND LAUGHING IS ACCEPTABLE TOO.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
P.S. BONUS POINTS IF YOU FOLLOW THE ADVICE TO SHOW UP DRUNK.
Free stuff. That is always the correct answer.
Show up, but drunk off your ass.
The only way to attend any kind of convention tbqh.
Make up a flimsy accusation about the original accuser. Pay it forward, bro.
Zardoz, what do you say to this one?
“I don’t watch porn, so I don’t know what’s considered “normal.” My partner is a cartoonist, and a sweet and gentle man. I found out he watches videos known as “facial abuse,” where women actually vomit during oral sex. I haven’t recovered from the shock. He’s promised to stop consuming the violent stuff. But I just discovered, by accidentally stumbling upon footage on his computer, that he filmed the two of us having sex without my knowledge. He apologized. He claims he did it because he wanted to avoid watching violent porn and figured that if he had a video of us, it would curb the impulse. This has traumatized me. He works from home and hardly ever leaves the house. We’ve been together for five years. How will I know if he’s telling the truth?”
If you don’t trust him, leave. Why do people make life harder than it needs to be?
This.
STEVE SMITH will show her some abuse…
Leave him and get a job with the NSA.
Also, here’s more proof to validate Rule 34. “Facial Abuse” porn? SMDH
“Facial Abuse” is the name of one website. It’s irrumatio porn. I mean, it isn’t vanilla, precisely, but rough oral sex isn’t exactly way out there on the kink scale. My experience may skew my perspective on this one.
So, “aggressive oral” would maybe more accurate? The vomiting part threw me off at first, but if it’s just due to hitting that spot in the back of the throat…
OK. Looked up irrumatio. Not my cup of tea, but yeah, as far as Rule 34 goes, it’s relatively vanilla. I don’t know if “violent” is a fair descriptor. But, everyone is different and I guess “violent” is a pretty relative term in this context.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphorophilia
Humans are weird as fuck
Yes. It’s face-fucking porn. They do sometimes vomit due to the donkey-sized cocks hitting that spot at the back of the throat, I think. And maybe the guy was into that part of it. But on a 1-10 scale of kinky I’d give it a solid 3 or 4 maybe? I don’t know. I can’t really judge. I helped someone create an approximation of a Dulcett fantasy once (fantasy of being roasted and eaten alive [no actual flesh consumption was involved or death])
So, out of curiosity, where does that Dulcett fantasy rank on the 1-10 scale? I kind of want to know what a 10 is, but on the other hand I know I really don’t want to know.
That is a really specific kink.
Gadfly,
I’d put the Dolcett fantasy at an 8 or 9. It was fucked up no two ways about it. It’s my go to. I’d include it up there with things like permanent brands or tattoos and other heavy body mod. Abduction/prisoner scenes that last multiple days are pretty fucked up too and are on that level.
I’ll avoid describing a 10. It’s overboard for this board.
Lach,
There was a guy name Dolcett who wrote lots of basically snuff/cannibalism porn that was popular. It’s sort of a rare one.
Was her name Gwen by any chance?
Yeah, I chortled at that. “Accidentally”.
Accidentally stumbling, my backside. She was checking up on him. These two deserve each other.
^^^THIS MAN GETS IT^^^
She’s a distrusting, controlling, snooping bitch. He’s a spineless, creepy, pervert who refuses to admits his proclivities.
Together, they solve crime! Coming this summer on ABC!
Throw in a furry sidekick and the Emmy is in the bag.
Exactly this. The only way she could’ve accidentally stumbled on that is if the file was on the desktop with an inviting name like “cute kitten video”.
Any man worth his salt is going to have his secret files in an encrypted folder in a hidden folder in a folder marked “Baseball Stats Spreadsheets”.
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Everyone knows cartoonists are twisted fucks.
Of course:
–Rick and Morty
Seems like a weak attempt to inject some “reality” into the fiction.
So she objected to appearing in a home made facial abuse video?
| So she objected to appearing in a home made facial abuse v̵i̵d̵e̵o̵ cartoon ?
FIFY
by accidentally stumbling upon footage on his computer
god, I hate when that happens. Just yesterday,I was minding my own business when some random computer popped up and started showing me footage.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS ADVICE SEEKING CHOSEN ONE. SEE, THIS IS WHY ZARDOZ HAS TO REMIND YOU THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL. YOU MUST CLEANSE THE CARTOONING BRUTAL AND DEDICATE YOUR REMAINING DAYS TO THE SERVICE OF THE VORTEX. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
“by accidentally stumbling upon footage on his computer”
Yeah, not such much with believing that was an accident.
If he’s filming her without her consent, why is she asking for an incredibly obvious answer? FN leave.
I’m calling a possible unreliable narrator here.
OT for the shade tree mechanics;
I like having a book to refer to and I’ve always bought Haynes. This comes after being terribly dissatisfied with a Chilton I bought a couple decades ago. I assume Chilton has improved since they are still in business. Has anyone here ever objectively compared the two for the same vehicle?
Yes, yes. YouTube often has great videos for auto repair. But for not-as-popular vehicles or uncommon issues, it’s often difficult to find relevant videos. And for some things, like DIY repair, I like to have a book to thumb through. Now get off my lawn!
My experience with both is too far in the past to be of use (90s), but I had both Haynes and Chilton books for my first car. I preferred the Haynes book.
I’ve only ever used Chilton’s.
The major problem I had with the only Chilton I ever bought (back in the 90’s like DEG) was in a few sections they (paraphrasing) said, “this is too complicated for you, bring it to a qualified mechanic.”
Ummm, remind me why I gave you $25 for you to tell me I should take it to a mechanic. Haven’t touched a Chilton since.
Dunno, worked for everything I used it for. I was mostly working on 80s cars with late 90s volumes, so they probably get better on things as cars get older. Dunno.
Maybe I’ll just get one and compare and contrast myself. Even though I am an eternal tight ass, $25 to 46 year old Mike is a much smaller financial hit then it was to 26 year old Mike
Libraries usually have older copies if you aren’t working on a newer car.
Good call. It’s a 2011, so maybe, maybe not. I’ll check.
Both suck -they’re 3/4 generic boilerplate. Last time I had to get both. One glossed over one topic I needed, the other glossed over something else. FWIW the car was a Lincoln Towncar. White with padded top and illuminated “Landau Bars” no less. Autobooks are best IMHO but I don’t think they do “Merican stuff.
From my search it appears that Autobooks is owned by Haynes.
But yeah, a lot of Haynes is boilerplate. My trigger for asking tonight was trying to change the crankshaft position sensor on my wife Terrain. It has the 2.4l which (apparently) is less popular and the Haynes instructions to change it are one step above worthless.
“…trying to change the crankshaft position sensor on my wife …”
Hawt!
Pics or it didn’t happen.
They might have changed then. I had one for a Citroen and there was detailed how to for all systems. Still have it ’cause it looks cool on the garage book shelf.
I followed a Chiltons to replace a head gasket on a 2009 Honda accord a few years ago. It was good. I don’t know if their manuals on other vehicles are good or not.
You might browse some forums for whatever specific vehicle you need a manual for and see if there is any good info there on what to use.
Yeah, they both suck. In fact, so do a lot of the factory manuals. I find the best way to get info is to google the specific problem and then try to find a model specific forum that’s talking about it. Usually that, and then googling items like torque specs or whatever will get you there a lot faster.
Both Chilton and Hayes are really too basic. I like shop manuals, backed with YT and online forums. I was able to get the manual for my Tahoe electronically from eBay – it was decent.
My original Spitfire shop manual from Bentley Publishing is fantastic. Very detailed, great drawings, etc.
Funny thing is I’ve found Brit factory manuals to be by far the best. Way better than American, French or German. ‘Cause they have to be?
Possibly. Or the people writing them were mechanics not engineers.
Any work lately on the beauty?
Been letting it sit unfortunately. Got really frustrated tryin to get it run. Think it’ the float levels. They “improved” the design. Then I’ve spend most of the last year dealing with my failing parents. No time or inclination. That’s all past so I’ll get back to it in a bit
Those carbs are tricky. That’s why have a redneck Weber downdraft 🙂
I’ve had them apart a million times and never had any trouble before.
BTW did you ever get the email I sent you at the end of the summer? A couple Healey pics and a really cool Spit I saw at a show in Billings.
I didn’t! Minnetundra at geemail?
Yeah. Sent again. this time capital M. Don’t think that matters though.
When you jumped in talking about Chilton on here I was sure you would link a song by the Replacements.
Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton when he comes ’round They sing “I’m in love. What’s that song? I’m in love with that song.”
Ah, thanks.
I knew you were more than just a waitress in the sky.
I sure as hell don’t come here for the cultural references.
Not even the HM references to Thicc Asian Twerk culture?
I wrote the HVAC portion of the Mack Vision service manual. Copying the structure from another manual, I just updated to our new design and had some screengrabs of the components prettied up by an artist for the graphics. Then I figured all the voltages at every node on the harness for every setting on the control knobs so anyone can evaluate the control head and stepper motors even though it’s an electronic system (PCB with an EPROM) and impossible to assess otherwise.
I really should look into getting the shop manuals. Goes back to my tight-assed-ness. But the price of one of those manuals pales in comparison to what it can save you.
I’m going shopping. Well, first I need to get this new CKP back in. Fucking engineers. I’m working blind. Literally can not see it and am working by feel. Getting the old one out was WAY easier than putting the new one back in.
Such euphemism. Many chuckle.
Had to put some Power Steering fluid in my aunt’s 03 Buick last month, the reservoir was under the damned alternator, WTF?!
Also euphemism? On second thought, don’t answer that.
I think I paid $80 for the Triumph manual. Hardcover.
You will save many dollars, knuckles and stress!
Consider acquiring (by hook or crook) the service manuals from the manufacturer. A lot of them even have the estimated time so you can be your own mechanic shop and bill yourself.
Lol. Or you can see how bad you would be were you a pro!
The Chilton and Haynes for my early 2000s F150 was exactly the same book with slightly different format. Not surprising, from Wiki
A reward for the brutal exterminators!
http://archive.li/ryOIS
Make the penis evil with this one weird trick…
11.
It’s very confusing to a simple man like me that you provoke a penic reaction while almighty ZARDOZ kills those who have a penic reaction.
That’s pure Libertarian, brah. Put Libertarian.
“Pure”
Disclaimer: not generally a fan of redheads, since feels a bit incesty.
But, three noteworthy exceptions here:
18 (huge tracts of land) > 11 > 29
That is all.
So you’re a ginger? Is there a chance you’re also a stepchild?
“It was the freshest move we’ve ever seen…’
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7MC8Lw5e9Q
Good stuff.
Excellent. I would like to subscribe to your music video playlist sir.
There are some good looking women in that video.
These guys needed to be cleansed earlier.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers
“I work three jobs to pay my rent in a house with four other people”
Um. Call me old fashioned, but I would suggest renting a place that is a bit more affordable.
And getting a real job. It would be interesting to know what the “passion” is that he’s pursuing. Whatever it is, it’s apparently keeping him from a career.
I had to give up my “passion” of staying drunk all the time in order to pursue material prosperity. Some “passions” are not necessarily healthy.
Adulting is hard!
Some of us are fine not having ‘careers’ Mr. Bigshot.
No offense intended. I wondered as I typed if “career” was the right word. All I meant was, if his passion is something that doesn’t pay the bills, maybe he should find a job that does pay the bills and relegate his passion to a hobby until he is able to make it work.
And “Mr. Bigshot”? Ha-ha. I’m in my garage drinking Busch Light and talking to you guys when I should be trying to fix my wife’s 8 year old vehicle.
At least you have your priorities straight.
‘in my garage’ way to flaunt that privilege.
It’s called a “humble brag” you cretin.
My garage
I went to a Weezer concert once because a lady friend of mine wanted to go. They never showed up they were stuck in Chicago, but the show wasn’t canceled until start time. Lamest concert ever, but it would have been worse if they showed, so I’ll call it a win.
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH. I like some of Weezer. Pinkerton, mostly. Never saw them, though.
Weezer is one of my guilty pleasures.
Oh, I understand that. Though I feel no guilt for things I like, I get liking things most people (except Gustave) think suck.
Don’t listen to the haters!
Living within your own means? That’s some crazy talk.
Tonight I learned what a wine fountain looks like. The niece came over to bottle her wine that’s been sitting here, and while bottling twice the tip of the bottling wand came off in the bottle. I was then tasked with managing the bottling wand, and she was put on corking duty. Thankfully this was done in the tiled section of the basement, so it’s mostly cleaned up now.
My older brother, when he was in his homebrew phase, had some mishaps & fountains. As I recall, it was more the root-beer he made that tended to blow the caps, opposed to his actual beer.
This was thankfully before it was in the bottle, so just launching out of the siphon.
But yeah, root beer (and any thing you’re sweetening after fermentation) is where the danger will come from. Especially if you’re trying to get a sweet, carbonated beverage. I have read some ways to do it with pasteurization, but heat+pressurized glass+liquid seem like a bad idea to me. One big advantage of kegging is that I can carb with CO2.
I wasnt a fan of his actual beer, but that root beer was some really good stuff.
The problem with root beer is that the flavorings seep into any plastics and rubber seals, meaning if you keg one, you can really only use it for root beer from then on out. A lot of the more established craft breweries up here make their own in house root beer (usually non-alcoholic) as well, and they’ll warn people getting growler fills that that growler may cause anything that goes into it later to taste of root beer.
Brewing root beer I blew out the bottoms of the bottles – those really thick bottles that coke used to come in. there was one bottle still whole. I carried it outside and popped the top. The entire contents flew 20 feet across the yard.
Bottle bombs are no joke. And any beers made with brett or other wild yeasts can create some really overcarbed bottles over time.
Back in the day when I had moved into my own place but hadn’t yet turned 21, I got into some really janky home winemaking because it was easier than finding someone who could legally buy it for me. It was just a few jugs of Welch’s grape juice and a packet of bread yeast mixed together in a 5-gallon jug, the kind that go on those office water coolers. I didn’t even have airlocks, so I would stick a balloon on top and empty out the gas daily (or hourly at the really vigorous early fermentation phase). Sometimes I’d come home from work and find the balloon across the room because it shot off and flew over there.
I also didn’t want the yeast to die for lack of sugar; I wanted it to keep fermenting until it died from the alcohol content. So I would add a spoonful or two of sugar on a regular basis. I remember how it would fizz up like crazy when I poured in the sugar and sometimes erupt out of the jug.
The early batches were pretty foul, but I actually got somewhat better at it and produced a few jugs of passable red wine. But alas, I turned 21 and thus had no incentive to go through all that hassle. Maybe I should get back into it and make some actual good wine.
Sometime in the next few weeks, my article on wine-making will post.
Sweet! I’ll keep an eye out.
I actually do have some old airlocks and a hydrometer sitting around, so I should be able to fire up the ol’ winery again.
Nephilium has already posted one about making wine from kits. It’s a good place to start.
Spud destroyed the bathroom of a friend of ours with his version of a wine fountain. I’ll bet the stains are still there, 25 years later.
That was probably about $1000 worth of wine too. Sure diminished the hangover the next day though.
Good times.
When I was an altar boy, I had several mishaps like that but with peppermint schnapps. To this day a whiff of it will make my adams apple bob up and down furiously as I have a bad flashback to the last time I turned into a schnapps fountain in a cheap hotel in Moorhead.
So will the new Twilight Zone be leftist propaganda? Oh wait…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Carol_for_Another_Christmas
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patterns_(film)
Wow, that Carol movie had an amazing cast, especially for a TV movie!
But it sounds like it was a dog.
But do the soldiers of ZARDOZ eat this good?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7NVb0OCD5g
At 3:19 Biggs states the Empire is “nationalizing commerce” which is portrayed as a bad thing. I wonder if George Lucas still thinks that nationalizing commerce is bad or if he just hated Nixon?
Austin 3:19 says I oughta kiss your ass! (3:16 is kick your ass, so I guess you lucked out)
Be evil.
https://pjmedia.com/trending/reddit-user-claiming-to-be-a-google-insider-describes-how-the-tech-giant-screwed-over-james-damore/
I find it continuously fascinating that Big Tech is not the bastion of libertarianism despite the decades of libertarians proclaiming how the Internet and Tech billionaires would bring us the libertarian moment.
You need a real avatar.
npc?
So like everyone on anti-SJW youtube?
https://gameranx.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Overwatch2-Winston.jpg
He is no Gorilla Grodd
Will I airbend?
When you’re ready, you won’t have to bend at all.
“Real avatar” seems like an oxymoron, but yeah, not that hard to paste in a pic.
ZardoZ,someone called my dog a wild beast, should I cleanse him? Bella is a normal beast, not wild at all
Cleansing is always the right answer.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN CANINE INQUIRING ONE. OF COURSE YOU SHOULD CLEANSE THE NEIGHBOR! WHO IS A GOOD DOG…BELLA IS A GOOD DOG! RIGHT BELLA? ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN
Bella loves ZardoZ!!!!
In a news clip today I saw Trump wearing a white MAGA hat. Did USA Hat and The Hat have a kid? Do sentient hats have kids? So many damn questions.
A previous Boorman film sounds very interesting:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_the_Last
Paging SugarFree…
Maybe it’s like one of those fusion things from Dragon Ball Z.
Sure you can get a sentient hat pregnant, but it is difficult. You have to fill it all the way to the brim to have a chance of conception.
“Study says…”
https://nypost.com/2019/01/10/sex-at-first-sight-could-lead-to-better-relationships-study-says/
A study conducted by horny teenage boys.
Better relationships ’cause the skank you banged at first sight probably doesn’t know your name or address and can’t show up and mess up your actual relationship?
Did Fatal Attraction teach us nothing?
I’m not going to be IGNORED, Winston!
I hope Winston doesn’t have a pet rabbit.
I never could get my disbelief to suspend about someone having an affair with Glenn Close when they had Anne Archer at home. Although maybe he was experimenting with homosexuality and got fooled.
Sometimes people get sick of Porter House and just crave a Salisbury Steak.
But do they ever crave an MRE pork patty which is a closer analogy 🙂
Wait, is changing the meat source analogous of changing genders? I think I’m loosing the metaphor.
More changing from meat to hockey puck, but sure I’ll go with the gender analogy.
She ain’t the caviar type – just plain old kidney stew
https://youtu.be/0JA8TMapna8
Gustave provided a link to the Tora san museum in the last thread. Here are a few pics when I went there. Good times.
https://imgur.com/a/oHm3IKP
That’s pretty cool, I should check out the show and the museum while I’m still in Nippon.
It’s fun. Not many foreigners at all despite it being a tourist area. We also got to walk along the riverfront where the opening scene takes place.
The white-shirted dude in the 3rd picture looks like every stereotype caricature from every WWII Bugs Bunny short.
That’s “Shachou”. He’s a squirrelly guy that is always freaking out. Barney Fife type.
Awesome! I’ve only seen clips of the movies, but Tora-san fascinates me. He’s a high functioning fuck up.
Thanks for the link in the author description ZARDOZ. I can now read all your posts and comments in your voice.
Same here, first time hearing it.
I loved the first comment:
“The US state department arming Syria’s moderate rebels”
I know “moderate rebels” sounds silly but it is a real thing. Button Gwinnett anyone?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lachlan_McIntosh#Duel_with_Button_Gwinnett
Gwinnett is buried at Savannah. Strolling around there for an hour or so is nearly an annual endeavor for me . . . also get over to Bonaventure to leave flowers on Johnny Mercer’s grave if you have time.
Jeff Tucker last year: https://fee.org/articles/of-course-the-alt-right-is-against-capitalism/
Tucker a few months ago:
https://www.aier.org/article/epic-battle-control-your-thoughts
Rather naive there weren’t you Jeffy?
Hey, at least he’s learning.
True. Judging by his recent stuff he is not going to get invited to any cocktail parties.
Apropos of nothing, I finally learned the cause of death for Dolores O’Riordan – drowned in the bathtub, drunk. Depressing waste.
She had a 0.33% BAC – JFC.
Oh the irony:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KotlCEGNbh8
She was a bitch. RIP.
How big and deep was that bath tub?
As long as your mouth and nose are underwater you drown in a small puddle of water…
Really?
Pretty sure, as long as your mouth and nose are underwater you can’t breathe so you will drown.
Bill Clinton’s dad drowned in three feet of water:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Jefferson_Blythe_Jr.
I’m not an expert so I don’t know if “drowned” is the proper term for this scenario but whatever.
Huh. I guess he too much about Billy’s report card for his own good.
What do the conspiracy theorists say about that…
Typical MSM fake news. I bet if you checked his long form birth certificate you’d discover Willy was already 10 years old when this happened.
I know of a guy who passed out drunk with his face in a 2-inch deep puddle and drowned. Yes, really.
Seems drunks and accident victims (since you can be knocked out and thrown a distance) are the most susceptible to this sort of easy drowning.
Also astronauts have to sleep near air vents lest they suffocate themselves in a Carbon Dioxide bubble that forms when they exhale during sleep.
That seems stereotypically Irish. And yes, a sad ending.
Hey you know why the new Star Wars movies suck? Why neoliberalism and global warming of course!
https://boards.theforce.net/threads/st-criticism-discussion-thread.50049419/page-635#post-55562230
So, just got back home from Mexico. We travel down there every year and usually the worst part is getting back through US customs. It was most likely just luck but that was the quickest trip through that I can remember. It seemed like there were less agents than usual but were passing people through quickly. If it was somehow part of the shutdown I hope it lasts for years. 15 minutes is a godsend when you’re with three tired little kids. There were times it took well over an hour there.
SFO? They changed the entry flow last year so the immigration officer handles customs declarations now as well. Unless you get flagged for secondary/ag inspection, just walk right through.
Remember when you got the old “welcome home” after clearing ?
That just went away maybe five years ago . . . what happened ?
Yes, SFO. And no, did not get a “welcome home”. I think you are right, Don. It’s been a while since they stopped saying that. There is no good reason it should not be that quick.
When you drive, is there a special line for Global Entry fucks like me? Nothing better than walking my elitist, selfish self past the long line to the banks of Global Entry kiosks when I get home. (I’ve never seen more than 2 or 3 of those kiosk being used. Why don’t they take 5 of them and put them over in the plebe area?)
I’ve flown over the US/Mexico far more times than driven, but the last time driving (5 years ago) they had the special line and it was far quicker. It took us 4 hours plus to cross a mile at Otat Mesa. Borders are tough places.
Otay Mesa. Pinche autocorrect.
While you were there, did you got to The Holy Mountain?
The good Mr Splosives returned from his band audition/rehearsal last night a very happy man.
His first gig is this Saturday! Woo-hoo! New beginnings.
I’m glad for both of you.
Good news. The “trailing spouse” can have a rough go.
Yeah, he needed a bit of a grieving period. He’s in “acceptance” now, but the more his network grows, the more at home he’ll feel.
Once he gets his motorcycle license he can go on bike excursions with some of the locals too. Joining the Moose Lodge has helped him too.
There are ways to make him feel better…
She’s on the job.
YAY!
Big question; is the band kilt-friendly?
Nah, it’s a bit more traditional country, but they do some Southern Rock stuff too like Skynard, Molly Hatchet, Alman Bros, etc. Michael pointed out to them that when they played at the Moose Lodge, the crowd went nuts for the Southern Rock, and they’re taking it under advisement.
He asked them how many different bass players they used and they said 3 (some are in other bands so they’re on rotation), but the leader piped up that now they need only one.
Glad to hear things are working out for the both of you.
I was worried about my wife and how she’d handle moving to Minnesoda and she had to leave all her buddies in Memphis behind. Turns out that you can drop a Korean off anywhere, blind folded and spin them around three times and by the end of the week they’ve met all the local Koreans and are dug in like a tick.
*it was meeting NoDak-breath Mike that made you leave wasn’t it? THAT IS WHY WE DON’T MEET IN REAL LIFE!!
You always say hurtful things about me, you stump-humper. I bet you’re not even a real pope!
There hasn’t been a real Pope since Pope Joan. Gotta give Protestants a reason to think they are real people.
Oh, great. The Sconni with paint thinner breath has now shown up. All we need now is a cheap ass Iowegian to comment and we’d have the trifecta of Minnesoda wannabees.
You say NoDak’s can’t drive? Iowegians are the fucking worst. Where’s Kinnath? I want him to try and deny this.
You can’t blame the Iowegians. They are always so amazed when they drive in non-Iowa at the vistas around them. They are used to driving down roads that are totally walled in by corn.
I’m perfectly fine buying beer on Sundays, no desire to live in your dry vag of a state.
We have Sunday sales now! Soon you might even be able to buy booze/beer in a grocery store.
But we will only stock 408 types of brandy, which means that we are horribly underserved in Wisconsin terms.
WTF is up with you guys and brandy?
My grandma teethed all her babies on brandy soaked raisins. Brandy isn’t my thing/whippersnapper
You know I only say those things because I realize that there but for the grace of 50 miles, I’d be a NoDak too. I’m a shitty enough driver that you should almost make me an honorary NoDak.
And I’m just as connected to doG as any Pope you are ever likely to meet, so don’t doubt my qualifications.
Nah, it was my near-death experience exactly a year ago when i was in the hospital for the flu but they failed to notice my lung capacity was decreasing until I used my own peak flow meter from home and charted the decline in Excel on my laptop to prove I was circling the drain. The Doc saw my chart, ordered tests, and bam, they found out I had pneumonia.
The entire stay in the hospital, all I could see was the snowy courtyard and a soviet style sculpture garden. My rivals at my now-employer continued emailing me and telling me how wonderful SoCal weather was.
Totally worked. If they had known to tell me there were also no mosquitoes here, they could have persuaded me sooner.
So NoDak Mike gets a pass this time. 🙂 Not his fault.
Of course it wasn’t my fault, I’m the good one!…well, after Tundra…I’m the second best-good one!
Someone is going to be on SP’s list pretty quick. Saying nice things about No Show Tundra.
Glad the California move is working out. Thre politics are terrible and it’s way too expensive as a result, but the weather and scenery are hard to beat anywhere on the planet. This place was an absolute frigging paradise not very long ago.