SEA SMITH GLAD HE GET DO LINKS. GIVE ALIBI FOR … THINGS. NO CATCH SEA SMITH PET! SEA SMITH RESCUE PET “SMILEY”.
NOW PET SAFE, SEA SMITH GIVE LAND HOOMANS LINKS. THEY GOOD LINKS FOR YOU!
- SEA SMITH CONFUSE. HE THINK TURKEY BOSS AND RUSSIA BOSS BUDDIES. WHAT THIS? MAKE SEA SMITH GLAD HE STAY AWAY FROM SYRIA. THAT WHERE ALEPPO, RIGHT?
- THIS MAKE SEA SMITH HAPPY! MORE HOOMANS GO WATER. SEA SMITH VISIT ENGLAND. BY VISIT ENGLAND….
- SEA SMITH SEND WARNING COUSIN STEVE SMITH!
- LAUGH! NOW RAPEY HOOMAN DEAD, FRENCH HOOMANS GET TOUGH. THEM STILL HAVE ROMAN POLANSKI HOOMAN LIVE THERE?
COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!
Comments
436 responses to “SEA SMITH FRIDAY LINKS”
“every day it becomes more and more clear that philip k dick was completely sane”
https://twitter.com/andylevy/status/1160261808940310530
On the money.
Your skin cancer is no sweat off my back.
I used to tan darker than HM and I avoid the sun at all costs nowadays. Those Scots genes will out in the end…
Just heard on the news: a local charter school is looking into “portable buildings” due to all the additional applicants received this year.
Portables are news?
Proof that teachers/staff need more money. Do you know how hard it is for kids to learn in a portable environment? With the growth of attendance in charter schools and the decline of enrollment in gov schools, maybe the charters could sub lease some space from the gov schools.
You don’t do business with your mortal enemy, especially if you depend on the power of the State. You crush them with mighty legislation! Mandatory Public Schooling!
Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man. The New Soviet Man!
I remember drawing a picture of the portable where I went for Spanish class being bombed and shot up. So maybe you have something there. Red flag that psycho.
Most of the NYC charters share space in pubsec schools.
Schools around here have used “portable” classrooms for various reasons for years. Maybe decades.
OMWC’s van?
Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks.
Lessee. I was in grade school in the early ’70s. Yep, portable classroom.
Late ’70’s. Brand new high school and portable classrooms. Half of the basement was just walled off fill. Functioning doors and lights but dirt foundation.
90’s and no portable classrooms
~1910 vintage school. No portables.
Literally box cars.
If they made then out of shipping containers it would be cool and hip. And it would make it easier to ship a load of kids off to the salt mines.
Call it the “tiny-school movement”.
“Aw, lookit! They’re so cuyute!”
>>SEA SMITH SEND WARNING COUSIN STEVE SMITH!
STEVE SMITH LAUGH AT GERMS. STEVE SMITH TREAT GERMS LIKE HE TREAT HIKERS.
MICROBES POKE TINY HOLES IN BRAIN, STEVE SMITH POKE GIANT HOLE IN ASS.
You have a way with words, Trshy…. A bad way. But a way, nonetheless.
😉
STEVE SMITH treats germs with respect, LIKE HE TREATs hikers, and respects their autonomy, and does not in any way make them feel uncomfortable.
STEVE SMITH is a respectful partner, and a good friend to hikers, bikers, and all sorts.
“respects their autonomy”
Yeah, but not their anatomy.
Wait, Turkey and Russia not getting along? Who’d a thunk? Will Trump have the courage of Palmerston? Crimean war II, Balaclava boogaloo!
Please don’t give Bolton any ideas.
Just call him ‘Notlob’.
It doesn’t actually help anything, but, you may get a good laugh out of it.
See, Smith, you the best!
Land critters, including politicians, also get the wasting disease. It buys votes and keeps them getting re-elected.
>>’Who stays out of the sun when it’s this hot?’: Britons slam ‘health police’ over heatwave warning for Bank Holiday with highs set to hit record 91F
91F ? That’s like perfect beach weather. ::shakes fist at pasty cousins across the sea::
TBF: the Brits had a bad day at the cricket today.
I guess that old line about mad dogs and Englishmen going out in the mid-day sun no longer holds water.
Birthday weekend – not quite the big 5-0 but getting there.
Tomorrow night: Steaks, corn-on-the-cob, Traverse City Whiskey, a mixed selection of beer, weed, our best friend neighbors, playing cards… I’m going to be hungover as hell on Sunday.
I like the subtle placement of “weed”.
Happy birthday! Man, we have a lot of quality Leos here.
We heard mama got the new gig. Congrats on your next chapter o’ fun!
I know! – we’ve been wanting this for ~7 years. I’ll stay on my job for a few months but yeah, it’s going to be a big change at Chez Humungus. I’ve been walking around today with a shit-eating grin on my face; so proud of EF.
Damn straight.
Good luck to you and the fam.
Congrats, LH, you’re finally going to be middle age, 1/2 way there. Keep up the good work,
“Don’t look back, something may be gaining on you” Satch Paige
Now the pages really begin to slide off the calendar. Enjoy your day!
slide? Aging floors it the second you hit 40 and kicks in the nitrous at 50. I don’t even want to think what happens at 60.
I come to you from the future.
It gets harder but you have to keep exercising. If you haven’t been doing it much now is the time to start working it into the schedule. I passed 60 and I’d hate to think what I would feel/look like had I not stayed in shape.
Ashually, if the average life expectancy is ~75, then middle age is 26-50. LH is rapidly approaching his senior years.
Shut the fuck up Spud.
/52 year old
Welcome to your geriatric years.
/55y/o
I know but you want to humor a guy on his birthday.
True. Happy B-Day LH!
AARP will want to get to know you, LH
I’ve tossed a few of those in the trash this year.
But they Just. Keep. Coming.
Don’t respond and after a couple of years, they give up.
That’s how I handle the IRS.
This, They’ve already stopped.
Probably think I’m dead…
I assume I’m over half way through my life at 35. Most of the men in my family die in their early 60’s. My dad is 65 and not looking too hot. My uncle Bill made it to 71, that’s the longest of anyone on my dad’s side. Th e women all tend to live to about 90.
Liver cancer’s strong on my Mom’s side of the family. Usually takes a relative out in their 80s, although my Mom’s sister only lived to 72. Probably how I’ll die someday.
Not looking forward to it.
Happy Birthday!
STEVE SMITH STOP BY BIRTHDAY PARTY TO HELP CELEBRATE. BY CELEBRATE, MEAN RAPE BIRTHDAY BOY.
our best friend neighbors
Pull the other one, asshole.
(And happy birthday.)
yeah it’s weird – actual friends with a couple who lives across the street. They like to smoke pot, drink like fishes, and talk, play cards, etc. They’re both pretty liberal so I steer the conversations away from politics.
Lefty but keep their yaps shut? They probably think you’re the lefties.
The Bolsheviks were also very confident about how their lives would improve. There is nothing you can do to help them, sadly, but trying is always recommended.
Liberal as in libertarian? Classy
Yeah, I don’t think so. Liberal as in Commie.
Happy Birthday!
Sunday, 56 years, too that youngun!
Wut?
Special early birthday wishes, Yusef. You’ve been doing a heck of a job this summer, travel/work/motels. Enjoy your day and lots more to come.
Have a great B-day both of you. I feel the hot breath of 60 on my neck and I am not running fast enough to escape.
Shit— I posted before seeing your mention, Yusef! Happy B-Day to you, as well.
Enjoy the weekend!
Happy birthday Lord H!
Getting old isn’t for pussies – but it beats the alternative.
It would seem our birthdays a week apart…which has to mean you’re Tulpa. ‘Cause, I know it’s not me.
Anyways, enjoy the weekend, and welcome to “Close to 50”!
/48
Happy birthday, all of ye Tulpae.
Oh, well, tha-
A-hahahaha….I’m not falling for that trap, Mr. Swiss. However, your kindness is duly noted.
Didn’t really expect a SMITH link this late on a Friday night. You guys are always surprising me in good ways.
That’s what I said about anal, but she said, Sir, I’m a doctor. It’s an exam. But I think she’s into me.
You might have just got lucky if you’re into her. I mean, I can’t even tell you due to my virgin ass. But my wife keeps asking, I’m scared, like what is that sex toy you just ordered, you crazy, that’s not an innie, what you are planning to do with that? Are wiminz really into that?
You’re gay if you’re into ass play.
NTTAWWT.
But there is, ‘cuz you dig getting dug up in the ass. That’s gay.
She told me that I’m not gay if it’s my woman that’s doing the pegging. Are you saying she’s lying to me? I’m confuse, does Zardoz have an opinion on this?
Pegging is homosexuality central. A lady has nothing to do with it. She’s trying to make fag out of you. Don’t let her. She’s a communist agitprop bitch.
If you say so, lol.
That sounds more like the dreaded “commie pinko fag”.
“That sounds more like the dreaded “commie pinko fag”
I dunno know. Sounds to me like I have tell her that my ass virginity is staying intact because gay. Safe and sound, amirite?
Wait….So, last week, it was good, ol’ fashioned face-sitting, and now…DIA “play”?!?
Hyp, you need a vacation. Or, counseling. Or, to find her a solo hobby.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/a31ffb0e-bc9d-4689-bf2c-d38a42cc09e5
That’s right. Hyp never did finish his face sitting story.
Relentless—like a dog without a bone.
Mostly posting this for Gustave Lytton as I doubt too many of our other Glib regulars are interested in 48 minutes of the extremes of levels of politeness in Japanese.
How to Order Food at a Restaurant in Japanese + Business Speech / Polite Language (Keigo)</a
What's funny is just how much the instructor, Misa, realizes how ridiculous Japanese is. I've mentioned it before, but Japanese essentially has plain speaking forms and a polite speaking form. However, if you want to be explicitly polite you can elevate the stature of the person you are speaking to or abut and/or humble your own actions. And naturally you can do this in the plain form or the polite form.
There is this great fear about being rude in Japanese that really doesn't exist for a non-native speaker. Native speakers are unlikely to take offense if someone struggling to speak Japanese doesn't use the proper forms perfectly.
“our other Glib regulars are interested in 48 minutes of the extremes of levels of politeness in Japanese.”
Really? I have a hard time maintaining 2 minutes of politeness, even at work.
Why isn’t this an email?
It’s always weird when a Japanese lady has British accent.
Yes!
Although I’m always amazed when a Japanese speaker masters English well enough that you can actually hear a proper English accent.
All you had to do to make the rest of us feel inferior is admit to speaking Japanese.
It’s not that amazing if they were taught by British people.
I could hear a British accent in my German HS friends who had only been learning it for a couple years.
Yes – I’ve heard lots of English as second language European speakers with a British accent.
At least for me with Asian language speakers it seems much less common.
Maybe more Americans than Brits teaching in Japan.
Perry says hai
British accent crops up (unsurprisingly) more often when I watch Chinese content, particularly HK/Malaysia/Singapore stuff.
RP out of a cute Asian girl pushes all of my buttons.
What I really love more is when obviously Asian women have a completely American accent. I was just mesmerized the first time I heard it. I have a co-worker in Portland who is Chinese, but his daughters, you will recognize right away as Asian descent talk exactly like your average American girl, with the same American accent.
Chika here grew up in Seattle. She has a west coast accent.
https://youtu.be/e08JTOao9aE
My favorite shock is Katie Leung from the Harry Potter films. Full on Scottish accent!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katie_Leung
Yah, I don’t know. The first one, she sounds very Asian to me.
I was once talking with a Japanese guy I’d just met at a party – since he was speaking with a Japanese friend of mine we were just speaking Japanese. Then an American friend of his spoke to him in English and he replied in English with this thick Georgia drawl. I just about dropped my beer. He had gone to high school in a small town in Georgia then undergrad somewhere in the south and never lost the accent.
You can pick up what you need to order really quick after a few visits to a restaurant with a Japanese person. Just pay attention and ask them what they said. If I were living in the US and trying to learn Japanese, I’d focus on reading and writing. Especially reading.
Agreed. That’s what I generally do. Also because of the way my class is structured lots of grammar. I’m not big fan of task specific language learning, but vocabulary can be useful and Japanese has so many set phrases sometimes it can be useful.
I can usually make myself understood. It’s won’t always be pretty, but usually I can communicate.
Problem for a bran new learner is finding content without kanji. After drilling that for about 1+ years it became easier to read more stuff. But that’s a chicken and egg dilemma for learners.
I’m still there. Reading and speaking kicks my ass. I sound like Sesame Street when they sound out the syllables until they figure out the word. Since I’m at Sesame Street level, I watch children’s’ videos and have a couple of picture books. I’d kill for something like Richard Scary with lots of stuff with high page count. A lot of children’s books are thin stuff.
Going to give N5 a shot in December. No where near ready but why not? I can do crash and burn so anything even slightly better than that is better.
Thank you sir!
I’ll repost this from the morning linx thread. Straff, it’s not a problem with your vision, they really are getting bigger
https://japantoday.com/category/features/kuchikomi/japanese-women%27s-breast-size-boasts-40-years-of-continued-growth
As long as they keep the perkiness, good news.
Can’t stop watching this.
I’ll trade our progs for the HK protesters right now, no questions asked. Get your social credit score now, losers.
OT, but… what the hell. New toy in the rack. I successfully bid on a 1942 Winchester Model 12 Black Diamond trap gun. Lovely black walnut straight-grip stock, 30″ barrel, vent rib, very nice.
Next week when we’re home for Labor Day I’ll shoot a few rounds of 12-yard with it. Should be fun.
Very nice.
And pics…
To follow.
Zombie Deer,
– you sure do shine
Glad I found you,
glad you’re mine
/Seals and Crofts
I didn’t know you were into crud rock.
You misspelled “yacht rock”.
For me to listen to.
On my own yacht.
Which I don’t have.
No. Yacht rock. That is my wife’s fav Sirius radio station. Seriously, I love it.
#MeToo! And, not the sad, fakey kind.
I thought I knew you.
Hey, I’ve tried to warn you… It’s just my attempt at being a Renaissance Man.
I mean, c’mon, my dude: when you’re raised by a widowed mom on 70’s Top 40/Pop, you have…varied tastes.
Also—might as well hit me with that “help” you were offering earlier this week.
If it’s good enough for the Isleys it can’t be all bad.
Relevant
Awesome!
Both of you need to see a neurologist.
What’s wrong with the Islays?
I can hear Rod doing this, it’d be glorious.
Linky no worky.
Damn , how’s this?
Just rolling through the jasmine in my mind.
You look new, Tulpa, but that’s a sweet avatar.
For you.
We are all Tulpa, you hoser.
Take off, Tulpa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jm4LoOaAWI
Random topic of the day. I was having a discussion with friends on how to make college football great again, and we came up with this solution.
Eliminate all of the conferences and divide the teams up into ten tiers of 13 teams each, based on ranking. So the top 13 teams are tier 1 and so on. Each team plays the other 12 teams in their tier. The winner of each tier goes on to the playoffs. Tier 1 winner plays the tier 10 winner. To keep things interesting at the end of the season, the top 3 teams in each tier are promoted to the next tier and the bottom 3 relegated. This would keep football interesting every week by eliminating the Alabama Vs Cupcake U games.
And pay the players.
Agreed also we might have to dumb down the new format so SEC fans can understand.
End football championships and BS playoffs. Let people argue about a “national” championship. Restore traditional conference rivalries and bowl games. Cut the number of toilet bowls. Make Pac 8 great again.
and eliminate all BS majors and only let students play?
I’d bring back rocks for jocks.
The funny thing is that on a modern campus you’d never get a signup. It would be harder than any class any of them take.
I took an astronomy class at UK. I thought it was a real astronomy survey course, but day one I look around and see half the football and all the basketball team. The entire semester I had one on one arguments with the professor about philosophy of science stuff because really how else can you stretch “This is a star, that is a planet” for 16 weeks? I was not popular, but really if I hadn’t set the curve at 100% I’d have killed myself. My 10 year old niece could answer everything on that final. 0 math astronomy…
This is a star, this is a planet
This is Uranus, watch as I jam it
/STEVE SMITH
I went to a small school with athlete’s on a full rides. They must’ve failed all the classes I was in with them, because there were strict rules about missing more than 10 classes (even excused). Also, it’s amazing that they could all afford cars, air conditioners for the dorms, and massive stereos. Must’ve had rich parents.
The two basketball players that live across the hall from me always watched porn with the surround sound on, cranked up, and the door open.
How are they supposed to learn how to dunk their balls without watching the pros?
Way to tie it into the post. Nicely done.
10x 12-team conferences. 10 regular season games, all in-conference. 4-team conference playoff feeds 10 winners and 6 at-large teams into a 16 team tournament staged at 15 bowl gamed. Teams 17-26 are also bowl eligible, but they play in 5 consolation bowls. All other bowls are eliminated, but nothing prevents somebody from starting another post season tourney like the NIT.
Or, go back to traditional conference alignments, strip out the rules that prevent 18 year olds from going pro, and see whether we can capture some magic from the glory days.
Cancel all college sports. Spin off decent teams into minor leagues for their respective sports.
Yeah, that’ll happen. ?
(Totally agree, BTW.)
This is a shout out to Rana brand fresh pasta. I’ve used several different types and it’s pretty darn good. I did one tonight with mushroom ravioli and mixed sauteed veggies with pancetta and cherry tomatoes from the garden for good measure. Lovely stuff.
I make their ravioli a lot. I used to love their linguini etc. but my store stopped carrying it.
Doesn’t Rana mean frog? You may be eating frog skins thinking it’s pasta.
If frog skin boils up that tender, it’s time to go gigging.
Do you have a headlamp I can borrow?
Frog should be al dente!
I made my last student loan payment today. I paid my loans off in one year by continuing to live with my parents and commuting 50 miles to campus for school and by putting 90 percent of my paycheck towards loans. On Monday, I will start my second year of grad school.
Congrats getting that mill stone off your neck.
*ovation applause*
50 mile commute? sell the car, eliminate – insurance, gas, maintenance and repair costs – rent an efficiency within walking distance to campus and work during the hours you would have been commuting – you’d have paid it off more quickly.
That’s not very American. The proper reply is, now take out credit cards and live like a king. Probably a new car loan too. Eat out every night. Live in an extravagant apartment (definitely need your own hot tub). And Live like a king. When it all comes crashing down, file bankruptcy and start over. It’s the American way.
Congrats!
Congratulations! Sounds like you are well on your way. If there are a few more like you there may yet still be hope for the US.
Dave Ramsey and I are proud of you. That’s great.
Dave won’t be proud til you buy his book and associated items. Also, why does he take credit card payments for his book that tells you not use credit cards? I guess it’s ok to used them for his products, just not other things, you know, like food.
You can re-sell the books after consumption. The food? I mean, would you want to even try to find ‘those kind’ of people?
Congrats on doing it right!
My ex-girlfriend had a full ride to Ohio State University from the variety of public and private scholarships available, but she chose to go to a more expensive private university instead, where many of those scholarships were not applicable. Now she’s in massive debt and enthusiastically supports whatever politician promises to wipe out student loans.
Hey y’all. Good eve.
I’m having a few as I imagine you all are. I’m loving the beautiful weather in the NE US this weekend. Here’s what I’m listening to on my deck.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nidAGwtYGuA
I put the wife to bed and I’m getting a bit nostalgic. Clear sky, teenagers on a farm, chemically enhanced, living in the moment.
Right? First nice night in forever.
It’s a great summer night. No rain, humidity, or clouds. Stargazing tonight on the deck.
I’m a bit of a “Star Hustler”, me and Jack Horkheimer.
https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/jack-horkeimer-besieged-by-sex-complaint-dies-6379473
I just looked the guy up. What a shitty end.
There goes another piece of my childhood.
Ugh, what a shitshow.
I used to watch that all the time.
Changed the second CV axle on the 96 olds today. Popping noise is less, but still present (both sides have been replaced now). Now the steering is loose and the tires squeal with any input in either direction. I’m assuming I did something to the tie rods. But any ideas are welcome. The alignment is definitely out, could that cause loose steering? Any thoughts?
If it needs an alignment anyways, take it to the shop and get their opinion. Then you make can do the work yourself.
Ball joints could be shot and if the camber or toe in is out could be the squeal.
If you had to loosen the tie rods, ball joints, or upper or lower strut mount to gain clearance to remove the CV shafts then that’s where I would start. If you didn’t loosen anything then your alignment shouldn’t have changed.
The first time I changed a CV shaft I changed on my subaru I changed the inner and outer tie rods at the same time. I measured the overall length of the old tie rod and adjusted the new one to be the same. When it was reassembled, the left wheel was visibly cockeyed. I cranked the tie rod end out until it *looked* straight, but I never figured out why it didn’t work the first time. Maybe the new halfshaft length was slightly different?
Links: ignored.
Hello Drunkertarians.
Fuck off, Tulpa.
*raises glass*
a fifth is not a ‘glass’
I’ve been drinking skol so long I thought you were right, However, it turns out they do sell fifths in glass bottles that you could consider one glass.
Now we know who the fancy people are around here though . . .someday I aspire to be glass bottle class.
I DO NOT buy booze in plastic bottles. Henceforth, I raised a glass(bottle).
Exactly how Tulpa would buy and consume *insert beverage*!
https://archive.is/TNl9R/a881204c54a6088abe9a686b8b6893bdbb26c0bd.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.is/NYAXG/181a63ebf964cfe19c172a698812ea9dfde5a0c1.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.is/V09YS/5dbce56dd06936482695e9aaf41aaae0f4d7b01c.jpg
NSFW.
This one.
Lovely.
You are correct friend potato.
Good news from the land of the rising sun. See just above #11 above.
Speaking of Asian accents…
https://japantoday.com/category/world/trump's-fake-accent-angers-asian-americans-as-they-veer-left
Gosh, if Trump wasn’t such a poopy-head he’d have all those votes in the bag.
I made it two paragraphs in.
Orange Man Bad.
Blah blah blah. Orange man racist. Orange man bad.
Do you think these people ever get tired of writing this crap? It’s like writing a REST call to the same database 100000 times. The first 10 times… maybe you learn something. After that, who cares?
So is there audio of this or just an unsubstantiated reporter claim? Cause I don’t necessarily believe chapter 2000000 of “OMG Orangeman is racist”. In 1500 a.d. the charge was heresy, 2019 it’s racism.
Drink of the night is grappa. Never had it before; I don’t know why you have to let it sit in a glass for thirty minutes before you drink it. I was told to do that and I did. I don’t know if I like the taste or not. Floral and diverse like good gin, but sweet like shitty rum.
Grappa is like any other booze. I’ve had rocket fuel that was supposed to be a superb example, and I’ve had lesser known brands that were superb. I will agree that it’s an acquired taste.
Sweet booze like this usually doesn’t sit well with me after copious quantities are consumed carelessly and quickly.
So far- buzzed and sailing smoothly.
Not the horrible headache inducing wine drunk I was expecting.
I don’t know what you’re drinking, but I’ve never had a sweet grappa.
Right?
The Muppet has the answers to the questions that you seek. I had a Portuguese boss that used to break open the Madeira after every shift. It was a shit job but we enjoyed the aftermath.
Grappa is best consumed when minorly bickering over ball placement in bocce, like Tuscan old guys.
With copious hand gestures and references to “Yo mamma”.
A true dilemma: Do I take a shower tonight or in the morning? I’m typically a morning shower kind of guy. I don’t feel right without it. But tonight I’ve been working on the car and am fairly dirty. Also, i just changed the sheets a couple of days ago and don’t want to get them dirty. I know what you’re thinking, shower tonight and tomorrow. Which is what I should do. I guess I’m just getting tired and don’t really want to.
The sheets though . . the sheets are so fresh and I don’t want to get them dirty or have to change them again. I guess I could sleep on the couch.
Life is hard.
I haven’t taken a morning shower in over 10 years. The alarm goes off at 4:45 so screw that. But I imagine that a shower in the morning must make you feel pretty damn good. I need a new job.
My 0400 alarm weeps for you. Sack up, hit the gym, shower, go to work.
/former Army who works for Swiss many hours ahead off
Don’t wipe your entire body with wet wipes. You’ll wake up looking like Nancy Pelosi.
I had that day-mare after a week long binge in Mexico. I don’t think that I’ve ever been so dehydrated in my entire life.
Shower, jerk off in the shower, go to bed peaceful and content.
I’m not big on jerking off in the shower.
Jerk off on the couch, shower, enjoy the sheets.
Sold, goodbye.
Good man.
Steps 1 and 2 complete. I’m glad I took the shower, I was filthy.
Ceiling Cat knows that you are still a filthy little man.
That’s not true, I’m not little by any means. 6’3″, 280. I do however, cede to sentiment.
Well, off to complete step three. Heck, I might do a repeat of step 1 while I’m at it. Good night.
“Good news everybody!” Wifey has licensed some of her photos to a commercial outfit. I may get to retire after all and become a kept man like LH! Congrats on the new gig, Elspeth!
Noice, Festus.
Industrial sized printing lots. There is a lot of legaleze but if they end up stealing 25 of her images, no biggie. If they want to keep buying them we could be on easy street. “Everything’s coming up Festus!”
I hope she gets paid bigly. And believes in sharing…
We’re middle-aged and no, they are not “that” kind of photograph. Not for twenty-five years at any rate…
I think sharing referred to the money. Of course, this being Glibs, you never know.
Sounds like somebody’s got a Polaroid stash.
“Zat’s der Joke.”
I got a severe Charley Horse in the pool today while swimming laps. It happened in the shallow end. But, that could work out really bad if it happened in deep water.
You can’t tread water with just your arms!? Sheesh. Yankees.
/Florida Man
Gah! Had that happen in a slow-flowing river and my buddies thought I was just fucking around. The current took me into shore before I drowned.
Neither of you can swim with just your arms!?
I can keep myself above the surface with little effort but one of those cramps can fuck with your lizard brain. My brother has negative buoyancy, he sinks like a stone. When we were kids we used to sneak onto some river front property to use their tarzan swing. If you got a running start that thing would reach apex at about forty feet above the water. Bro did it and hit the water clean, like Olympic diver clean. He didn’t surface for about a minute when we dragged him coughing and sputtering onto the shore about a hundred yards downstream. Dude can’t swim.
You have natural flotation devices; Lungs. Take a deep breath and you’ll pop up like a cork.
Hard to do underwater. I jest, you are correct.
When I 8 or so, my older brother took me to “The Cube”, an giant slab of concrete overlooking a waterfall. Maybe 20 feet high. Fucker threw me off right into the roiling water at the foot of the falls. It learned me how to swim.
So it was the hypoxia that made you so slow and lumbering. Small wonder that you moved to Lilliput.
Neither of you can swim with just your arms!?
You’ve apparently never had a severe Charley Horse. It’s debilitating, I could barely keep myself above water the shallow end. I’m a little disappointing the cute lifeguard didn’t jump in to save me.
Some nice mouth to nipple resuscitation would have fixed things up in a jiff!
I’m another guy with less than zero buoyancy. In trunks. when I fill my lungs with air and try to float I just drift to the bottom with my upper body slightly higher than my legs. Water survival qual in the military – jumping in the deep end in full uniform/boots and treading water – was a stone bitch for me.
I’m another guy with less than zero buoyancy. In trunks. when I fill my lungs with air and try to float I just drift to the bottom with my upper body slightly higher than my legs. Water survival qual in the military – jumping in the deep end in full uniform/boots and treading water – was a stone bitch for me.
One Tejicano lies dead at the bottom of the pool, the other survives in an alternate timeline to shit-post on glibs.
Trust me on this: Drinking a tall glass of water before swimming and that won’t happen. *Swimmer of 40 years.
Take a breath before you hit the water, too.
And before that, 20 or 30 beers. By the way, jeans get real heavy when you swim in them…
We were on Dayton beach for college spring break one year. We decided to check out one of the pool parties at one of the hotels. Before we left, I chugged a bunch of water so I wouldn’t be thirsty if we stayed a while. When we got to the party, they needed two more people for the beer relay in the pool. So, using my fake ID, I was whisked to the pool to swim a race after chugging beer. I swam in cargo shorts, but our team still won. Well, after chugging a bunch of water, and a beer, then swimming a lap in the pool. The beer in my stomach turned into foam. I vomited that beer right back up. Fun fact, Budweiser tastes the same coming up as going down.
For winning the relay, our prize was a free beer. We went to the bar and watched the bartender get into a fight with some guy and quit. I ever got that free beer.
“I vomited that beer[…]”
Do you know who else…
Today’s advice column: “I’m a housewife in my mid 60’s and I just noticed that I don’t know jack shit about anything.”
Love this lady.
https://www.yomiuri.co.jp/jinsei/
I have the not knowing jack-shit about anything part down.
Direct quote from Socrates?
What’s with all the questions?
It’s just his method.
I don’t have a fancy enough education to come up with an answer to that.
Get thee to the oracle.
Not part of my pheelosssofeee.
But since Socratic education is based on the belief that knowledge is elicited, not taught, you’re good. Unfortunately as an Aristotelian I have to actual look at the world to learn 🙁
Ignorance of natural law is no defense.
Gaia is the ultimate shitlord.
Which is why Plato had to make up some fanciful world?
“Take the blue pill”
I hear tell that if post-menopausal ladies take Viagara they turn into werewolves.
I’ve met dozens of Japanese like her, except for the ray of self awareness. So many of them don’t know anything more than their job requires.
She’s definitely got a foot up on the others. Not sure what she expects in regards to advice.
This is why I really think senility seems to come earlier in life and more frequently for the Japanese than it seems to happen in the US. In my experience Japanese seem to expect to be going senile by the time they hit their 70’s while most Americans seem to keep some level of lucidity into their 90’s. It seems to me this has a lot to do with not using their brains for more than deciding what to eat and minor, daily activities.
Could be. They also seem to develop cognitively earlier.
Can I have some of what they are having? Seriously. My brain won’t shut up and go to fucking sleep.
Not enough alcohol.
So, for the first time since 2004 I bought a Madden game. It’s supposed to arrive tomorrow, hopefully it’s not just a download code that will take me another 3 days before I can actually install the game.
(My gaming is all on done on PC, and until last year the last time Madden released a PC game was 07; I kept waiting for 2k to come back, but EA has successfully monopolized football video games, all the current competitors look worse than PS1 games)
THe last video game I ever nought was Madden 97 on Sega Genesis
Heh. NHL ’95 for Sega.
At least that means you never wasted your money on Sega CD or Sega Saturn…
I had a Saturn, and there was an isometric dungeon crawler based around seeking out famous swords I really lked but cannot remember the name of.
I still have Sega, Sega CD, and Sega 32x . . the latter 2 were given to me long after people were still playing them, including me. I’m not sure I’ve ever even set them up.
In 2001 I took my Atari 2600 with me to college, still a lot of people that wanted to play it then.
I was the same way (with one of the throwback/way back/whatever nostalgia consoles. After trying out, not so much. I realized this is why Twitch* is a thing.
*keeping previous discussion of this in mind
Speak for yourself. I was very happy to finally find a walkthrough and working emulator of Shadow Gate just two years ago. I finally beat that bastard!
Well…that was my intention. And, 2600 is no NES, either.
But, I, too, enjoy a Master of Monsters jam on emulators every now and again. https://youtu.be/S0Rps-SRYfs
My lord, Digby. You found the most annoying soundtrack on the web. Congrats.
Straff, don’t make me hurt ya for ruining my nostalgia
/not THE most annoying…
STRIDER!
? ? ⚔️
Call of Duty ten years ago. Too much stuff going on with games today. Tetris, Frogger or Tempest is enough for my old fart brain.
Defender Or Die!
Donkey Kong on Wii U.
EA got tired of 2K making them look bad, and put a stop to it by paying for an exclusive license with the NFL.
Yep, I’d still prefer NFL 2k5 over buying a new Madden, but I got sick of the geekery and time it takes to updated the rosters.
“Dazed, confused, skinny with a blank stare and wobbly,” was how Wendy White described the elk buck that stared intensely……..
This is worse than Carbonara made with cream. Male elk are called bulls fer fucks sake. Makes me think the story is all hype because a person who knows fuck all about elk wrote it.
My mom reads historical christian romance novels. One time one of her favorite authors wrote about a widow who’s financial plan was to buy, and breed, mules…
Tijuana style! Oh you meant….
Dammit…this is why I should refresh! Totally changes the quasi-joke in my post.
FIL has a mammoth donkey (down from 2; RIP Tammy) and a mule. So, go on….
Mules are sterile, so not a great business plan and not something this author seemed to research.
If the dictionary is the only source you need it is barely research.
yeah, the ‘re’ could be removed, it’s just kind of ‘search’ for the definition of mule.
I know—just being silly
All y’all are chatty tonight. I’ll come back in a couple hours to do my updates so you can all enjoy more drinking/snarking/pathetically pretending to have friends.
pathetically pretending to have friends.
So mean.
I don’t even bother pretending anymore.
*nods sadly
Honesty is probably best.
You really DO get me!
I feel like 8 years old again, over at a friends house, and the mom peaks in to see what’s going on.
Did you totally get a nip grip?
Too young to understand. Older me realizes most weren’t bad looking at all.
Precisely!
That^ is how you host a party.
BTW, I’ll work on the cartoon this weekend, a Wednesday place holder please (flashes my ugly smile, but with my big adorable eyes being batted)
I had already penciled you in.
Now, don’t disappoint me.
Well, you’re a woman, so I probably will disappoint you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have a cartoon…
“Penciled you in”
Go on….
/is that pathetic enough? not sure I can get much more…
Well, I recently got promoted at work so come Monday I am in “charge” of my so called friends in meat space. These degenerates here may soon be the only friends I pretend to have.
Me being in ‘in charge’ is me saying if they fuck up it’s not my fault, I’m on the management track.
My boss actually expects me to get the asshats I work with to do the work they are supposed to do. It is more than if they fuck up it’s not my fault. They don’t fuck up often because they don’t do much. It very well may be a percentage of work done to number of fuck ups thing.
I was making a funny, I think the idiots I’m training now are start at the same wage I’m at now because I negotiated with my bosses, and my manager, well she just fails to do what she’s supposed to do. Haha, I made a funny.
And here I am, still dealing with all the crap running around in MY head…
You come up with some awesome stuff, C.
I’m sure I don’t what you mean. And to whit, James Bond, Jr.
Alright, I’m crashing out now to get to enjoy a bit of my day off tomorrow.
Of course—leave us after the truly obscure stuff.
/enjoy the silence…er, day.
“I didn’t sign that contract!” “It was like that when I got here!” “Those jokers in the other division are making the Company look bad!” I could go on and on.
*inserts authentic frontier gibberish*
Spudalicious is right!
Dagger to heart, SP. Dagger to the heart…
Wifey has developed a taste for gin fizzes from her air-headed horsey friends. They extol the virtues of low-carb bullshit. She’s not much of a drinker so about four of them will plant her in her bunk. Tried to explain to her that hard liquor is a different animal and she mostly got it. Jesus Christ, at least one of us needs to be sober most of the time. Heaven knows it ain’t gonna be me.
Is it, in fact, “low carb”? Don’t really want to drink gin, but, any port in a storm…
Hard liquor itself is generally carb free.
Thank you. Of course, pretty much anything I would want is a no-go.
Also, what’s the deal with not putting nutrition guides on booze? I’m one of ‘those people’ that uses the damned things, and, it would help to have the numbers handy when I’m shopping…dammit.
/rant off
Why is it a no go? Is this related to your love of bland food?
No, the ‘no-go’ stuff would be the tastier, more satisfying items, not the “it tastes like burning” things.
If something is burning try this. It might help.
https://youtu.be/RG69PMDBfaE
(I saw your comment above)
YES!!! ? my fix ?.
Much thanks.
politicsreligionsobriety is the stupidity we do together.“… at least one of us needs to be sober most of the time.”
Why? If you’re both drunk who can tell?
Hmmm….checks out. I’ll allow it.
Gin fizzles, panty dropper. Potato, potato.
Dayum. Here I am on Saturday afternoon with y’all talking about booze and I have a few German pilsners chilled in the fridge – but my 8 year-old has 3 friends over playing Switch and the spousal unit stepped out to see her mom. Why do I always have to be the responsible adult?
Oh well, I’ll make it up tomorrow – I’ve got a ribeye and a tri-tip, dry-rubbed ribs, Carne Asada marinating, and sausages standing by.
Funny.
https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2019/08/22/talk-about-a-self-own-blue-check-rages-over-antifa-piece-by-the-babylon-bee-shrieks-at-andy-ngo-and-then-runs-home-to-daddy/
So classy.
https://www.dailycaller.com/2019/08/23/david-koch-death/
I would love to be around when these people git hit with the realization of how putridly evil they are.
You must be very patient. I doubt it’s going to happen.
Well, I have faith…
Ah. OK. I missed the implied pearly gates reference. I suspect that’s what it will take for most of them.
I mean…it could be in a more earthly setting. But, comeuppance is comeuppance.
Schadenfreude is one helluva drug.
The man actively tried to help make them more free, and all they can see is, Less $ = more bad!!!
Huh. Imagine that.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/reporter-testing-the-availability-of-guns-at-walmart-fails-background-check
At least she had the integrity to report that the background check stopped her. I can imagine any other number of “reporters” simply skipping that fact and moaning about how easy it was to get a gun regardless of the outcome.
Agreed.
I don’t get the sense it changed her mind at all. She seems frustrated her conclusion couldn’t be proven.
Her lack of proof is simply proof of that WalMart being tipped off to her plan by NRA murder fanatics.
Yeah. I wasn’t expecting actual objectivity which would have ended more like “Wow, the background checks we have now really do work”. At least she didn’t blame the patriarchy “which obviously would have allowed the sale had I been a cis-male, white supremacist”…
Lol. OK, I’m grateful for small favors.
Whenever Lefties insist that anyone can just walk into a gun show and get any gun they want with no checks whatsoever, I like to tell the story of the time I tried to buy a gun at a gun show and got denied because I had recently moved and my driver’s license had my old address on it (probably a good thing though since the gun was a piece of crap, and I would have known that had I done my research instead of attempting to do an impulse buy).
Or if they claim that you can just “buy guns online”, I hand them my credit card and tell them, “Do it, then. Show me how.”
No shyte. Whenever I hear that “buy guns on-line” crap I want to tell them “OK, go buy a gun on-line for me, any gun, and when it’s delivered to your house I will pay you 10 times what you paid for it”.
Now, I actually know the few niche methods by which it is possible to purchase a “gun” on-line which will be delivered to your address but I’d bet no anti-gunner has any clue about that.
The other one I get tired of is “They sell guns at Wal-Mart!!”
Like they think that because Wal-Mart has guns on the shelves, it means you can just grab an AR-15 and go through the self-checkout at 3 AM.
No fear and no clue.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/policy/economy/trump-says-he-has-no-fear-china-trade-war-could-lead-to-recession
That’s complete crap! You can’t support anything ORANGE MAN BAD does without being a white nationalist nazi skinhead shitlord!
/the Left
Honest question: what’s with “Orange”? I don’t see orange. His skin is pinkish and his hair is a gray blonde fade.
Where’s the orange??
And if he were smurf blue, is that what they’d hit him with? Who are the judgements racists again?
I tend to see orange in his hair. And, a bit in his faux-tan.
But, point taken. It IS race all the way down.
“Donald Trump, a notable social-media figure who serves as president of these United States in his spare time.” Good lord KDW is a good writer.
https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/the-endless-enemies-list/
Well SP, it looks like everyone went to sleep. Might as well hit the reset button.
Word!
Word up!
Wasn’t expecting them…
First she got sloppy, then she was giggly, next thing you know she’s combative and finally, some tears. The Four Horsemen of the Ginopaclypse.
Fuck my life…
Yeeesh… My other half got drunky at dinner. With friends around who she never has….
::sigh::
It’s bullshit! I’m supposed to be the one that dons the lampshade and makes everyone turn away in embarrassment. Me! That’s my thing little woman!
“Glass ceiling”, my fat, white ass!
I recommend you talk to your union boss and make sure she wasn’t a scab who refused to play “just Drunk Enough to Be Awkward” role!!
Oh, the dreaded “DEBA” role! For sooth!
Yeah at some point you dye your hair, fake your death, light the match and walk away
This newsletter that you speak of, might I subscribe?
::furiously scribbles notes::
Go on…
/alright, I already did that joke tonight. Twice.
No need for notes or subscription. I will send you instructions for crafting an origami hat from aluminum, that blocks the Enemy, but is tuned to receive my podcasts so we can plan how to survive into
The World .After.
(Am I talking about global apocalypse or domestic turmoil?
Meh? What’s the diff to the sufferer?
(Swig)
So long as you use a private carrier. Not gonna trust those damnable USPS creatures….
/readies head, foil, and scissors
I’m not an expert at origami but would say I am medium smiled at it. It is semi addictive and defy so for a spatial math person.
Hated arithmetic, algebra. Loved geometry, trigonometry, calculus.
I fear that, if you had my Geo teacher in HS, you wouldn’t like it so much.
/Why, Dr. Kresta? Why did we need yarn? What the FUCK was the point of that…”project”?
Now that is just sad. It’s not a friggin art project.
My geometry teacher was the “hottest” teacher in school and Shem knew her stuff.
We learned proofs and logic and had to cite proofs to support our conclusions, which did end in the classical QED.
Every aspiring lawyer should be so lucky to have a geometry teacher like that.
Sounds suspiciously like my Symbolic Logic class, except: Not a “hottie” (unless you liked middle-aged, mustachioed Iranians—great guy, tho), more algebraic, and in reverse (learning the math from the text, not math-to-logic)…
Such a coincidence!!
She learned from the Master.
She earned her red belt, eh?
I’ve beclowned myself so many times that it’s basically water off a duck’s back at this juncture. Her behavior needs to be reined in.
You gonna go Santa on her?
/“reaining in”…get it??
// got nuthin’
Close but no cigar! Don’t fret Digby, I fuck up jokes on here all the time and they still hate me.
WHO?!? Who hates me mate??? I’ll give them a lesson from Jack Johnson and Tom O’Leary!!
Dock everyone a day’s pay for nappin’ on the job!
You work for the Muppet. Company man, eh?
“Screw you— I’m workin’ for Mel Brooks!”
/Muppet Company man?
*Cracks knuckles and drops water noodle*
HA!!
Hello miscreants! Just joined the party. Gotta scroll up and check vital signs now…
Well, howdy, ma’am! Check out our previous gibbering, and then meet back here for beverages.
Glibbering sounds like something that happens in the final stages of dementia
Well, that would be a hybrid of Lovecraft and the HnR crew
The Glibbering: A SugarFree production, of a CPRM film
Gluten free? Enquiring minds want to know
Well, truth be known, I’ve found that the gluten free versions of breaded treats have less carbs.
And, you know I’m all about keeping this girlish figure.
^ha!
Not much to see there. My Wife got drunk and some drugs fell out of someone’s ass.
I don’t wanna know who took one in the heuvos for this team.
Does anyone here know which wine pairs best with chicken nuggets? Sorry—gluten-free chicken nuggets…?
Box wine. Straight into your mouth from a syphilitic transient’s toe a la “From Dusk Til Dawn”.
Might have to borrow a ‘heel from you, Festus, since Salma isn’t around.
MD 20-20, of course
That sounds suspiciously correct…
Wish some of the others had stuck around—this is awesome for a late-nighter like me!
Guys almost like people have lives outside of Glibs!!
I know!! ::insert shot of Craig Ferguson talking about Tommy Lee here::
That was one of my drunken Wife’s complaints!
This is the same ‘professional photographer’ mentioned earlier, correct? I don’t want to get on her bad side…
Also, congrats on her/your boon!
Thanks! She is a talented and crafty artisan but kind of a light weight. The last thing we need right now is another disappointment. My shits to give ran out long ago but she remains consistent.
So….she has shit enough for the both of you, then? I have been there before. Usually on the other side, but, been there I have!
Dude, I peaked at fifteen. She’s raised four kids to positive maturity and still keeps looking for the next challenge. It’s one of our sticking points. She has so many hobbies that we can’t contain them all in our house. Thank God the eldest has acreage or we’d have two horses living in the front yard.
Fifteen year-old Sir Digby would just keep his head down and try blend in to the crowd. Not easy when you’re 6’5”. On the bright side, I might not have peaked yet, so…
Hopefully you can someday have that 2-horse garage.
Heh!
Yeay! My son’s little friends went home so I can drink now. Kicked off with a Nuevo Modelo and now on a Bitburger. I might have to run out for a 6-pack of something local.
Climb in, Te! The water’s fine!
Water? Naw, I think I’ll stick to booze.
You gonna swim in bo-
Actually, I already know before I ask…
/Cheers
OK, well, here we go. Hopefully, the site will still be here when I’m done with maintenance upgrades!
I’m bringing down refreshing the geometry thread. One of you had the horrid teacher who made you wrap yarn around pins and shit.
My response was:
019 at 3:50 am
Now that is just sad. It’s not a friggin art project.
My geometry teacher was the “hottest” teacher in school and Shem knew her stuff.
We learned proofs and logic and had to cite proofs to support our conclusions, which did end in the classical QED.
Every aspiring lawyer should be so lucky to have a geometry teacher like that.
I responded to ya.
To wit:
Sounds suspiciously like my Symbolic Logic class, except: Not a “hottie” (unless you liked middle-aged, mustachioed Iranians—great guy, tho), more algebraic, and in reverse (learning the math from the text, not math-to-logic)…
Such a coincidence!!
Done! Everyone still logged in?
Here!
Alrighty then.
Carry on!
/as if you needed permission 😉
Yeah, I thought that was you.
Eh
COMMO!! Man, this is turning into a par-tay!
Also, SP!!! Get in on this!
*cracks beer, pours tequila*
4AM isn’t too late for shots, is it?
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere. Or, so I was told by a juke box.
https://youtu.be/RMDq-MnpbTo
It’s only 6 PM here. Just don’t spill it if it’s the good stuff.
Still present and accounted for, Ma’am!
In yesterday’s discussions here the “Black Rifle Coffee Company” came up and that pinged me to catch up on what they have become. I had heard about them a few years ago but didn’t know they had become so successful.
Looking at a number of their t-shirts I see a number with images of AR’s – which makes me wonder how people react to that kind of t-shirt in public? I’m wondering if, in general, people give a little leeway for that kind of expression if the wearer appears to be a veteran – or if most people simply react to that image as if the person wearing it could only have evil in his heart. I know this will vary by geography so I am asking this about what most progs would call “flyover country”.
Any insights?
No one here would care, eh? Try this.
https://www.anarchocoffee.com/
Up here in my corner of Canuckistan there might be a few raised eyebrows, a little bit of joshin’ but Vancouver or Toronto? Who knows? Mind you, Digby wore his “Gropin’ Joe 2020” shirt out and about with nary a broken nose. I think most folk just want to live and let live, to be honest.
Dude with a beard in 6 inch stilettos and t back wouldn’t in SF is more acceptable to the public than that shirt.
And I’m not even drinking yet!
Perish the thought!
Well, in the Metroplex area, there would appear to be many people that would dislike it. And, many who could give a shit. I don’t think the lefties around here are quite bold enough to say anything to the offender. I can’t say that I’ve ever witnessed, or, heard of an argument in my neck of the woods. Could be that anyone who’d wear that would be carrying. And of course, you have both the “an armed society is a polite society”, and, “guns cause violence, so I dare not speak” mindsets.
Well, yeah, they’d be correct with “anyone who’d wear that would be carrying.” in my case so I guess I’d get a pass. But then if it is basically a flag telling the world that I’m carrying I’d prefer to skip it.
But then who an I kidding? I already know that being 60-ish with short hair, no ink/piercings/facial-hair, and physically fit already screams “cop/veteran” so I suppose they would already expect me to be carrying (and trained) so what would it matter?
Yeah but you already doxxed to the fact that you are a huge dude. If someone more or less average like me (5’11”, 180 lbs) wore the shirt it might lead to a different outcome.
Ha ha ha! You must be talking to the honorable Sir Digby.
Me? I’m 5′ 10″ and about 175 lbs. Just a bit of a muscular runner’s build. I’ve been told my face could either start or end a fight.
AR variants of Come and Take It are cool, so far as it goes, but I can’t see wearing that kind of thing in public. Writing on clothes is your business, but that sort of thing is generally confrontational. It’s the flip side of a Che shirt, which is offensive and therefore confrontational. But it’s a free country.
No one thinks about carrying ever. Women who know I EDC are still surprised to feel something extra in a hug, even in a tee. Sheep just graze.
Gotta bow out for the morning. See you miscreants tonight!
See ya on the flip-flop!
Hah! I outlasted the naked intruder on a thread! My life is complete now.