I started baking as part of my half-assed, slow-motion, car crash of a mid-life crisis. I needed a creative outlet. My first decorating attempt was truly pathetic.
It was a peppermint cake and I wanted to make it look like a peppermint candy. I failed. I lacked technical skill (and proper tools) in decorating. So, I regrouped and focused on making the cakes impressive on the inside by figuring out how to make checkerboard cakes.
But, I really wanted them to be pretty on the outside as well.
I decided to focus on what I was capable of doing. I bought basic tools, an offset spatula and basic tips and a pastry bag. With just these tools, you can make impressive cakes if you think carefully about what you are doing.
Before we get to decorating, I do want to tell you about ermine – or boiled– frosting. This is the best frosting I have ever tasted. It is fluffy, light, and just sweet enough. It’s made by combining 5 T flour, 1 cup sugar and 1 cup milk (you can use coconut milk or almond milk to make it vegan) in a saucepan and cook, stirring constantly, until it has the texture of mashed potatoes. Let that cool, then beat it a little at a time into 1 cup of butter (or margarine) with a pinch of salt and vanilla or other flavoring.
It will seem to curdle, keep going, and it will turn into something with the texture of whipped cream. Now, we’re ready to talk about decorating.
First, you can make a swirled frosting, then sprinkle stuff on top. I made a coconut lime cake with lime curd between the layers. I used coconut milk to make the ermine frosting and balance the fresh lime curd between the layers. I used the offset spatula to make it swirly. It really takes no skill at all – just smear it on the cake. Then I sprinkled dried coconut on top along with a few lime slices. I think this is a pretty and inviting cake.
I’ve also made an almond cake with raspberry between the layers. I decorated this one with sliced almonds and fruit. I toasted the slivered almonds and used them to make ‘flowers’ with a berry in the center. Just stick them into the frosting in a circular pattern – it’s hard to mess up. I smoothed out the sides, and I’ll explain how I got it smooth in a moment, but you don’t have to do that. You could leave it swirled. I pressed toasted almonds around the bottom of the cake as well. Again, I think this is a pretty and inviting cake.
You can make a very cute or a very elegant cake just by making blobs of frosting. When I do this, I leave the sides unfrosted. This is for two reasons: I like the look, and I use butter cream and the blobs are thick. That is a lot of butter cream on the top of the cake and I don’t want the sweetness of the butter cream to overwhelm the cake. I made this cake (along with StraffinRun who never posted pics – glares) back in October. I just made blobs using different tips and colors and then added candy eyes.
The simplicity of the idea inspired me. I thought instead of cute, this could be used for an elegant cake. And, you don’t actually need tips to make the elegant version. It can be done with just a Ziploc bag. Put the frosting into the Ziploc, cut off part of one corner and go to town. I made a lemon cake and put cherry jam between the layers. I just made blobs and then sprinkled a little colored sugar over it. I think it looks elegant.
Lastly, drip cakes are very popular and hip these days and they are easy. I made a peanut butter cake and put chopped peanuts between the layers
For a drip cake, you want the frosting smooth on the top and sides. I made a peanut butter butter cream, and smoothed it over the cake.
You make it smooth by putting frosting on the outside of the cake. It doesn’t need to smooth at that point, but you’re not trying to make a swirled cake. Then, put the offset spatula under hot running water. Use it to smooth the sides by running it around the outside. It takes repeated efforts, under the hot water, smooth, repeat until you are happy with it. Once it is smooth, stick it in the refrigerator to chill. A drip works best over a cold, frosted cake.
Next make the ganache for the drip. I made chocolate ganache which is equal weights of chocolate and cream. Do weight it, it makes a difference. Chop up the chocolate then pour hot cream (heated in the microwave) over it and stir. Add a little corn syrup (1 tablespoon or less) to make it shiny.
Pour a little ganache on top, then smooth it toward the edge of the cake. When you reach the edge, give it a little push to make it drip over the side. It’s that easy. You can add more decorations, like chopped Reese’s peanut butter cups or other candies if you like.
I’m enjoying learning to decorate cakes. It gives me a creative outlet and has pushed me to think about how to get an effect within my skill level. I hope you enjoyed seeing these easy methods and take inspiration for your own cakes.
Comments
304 responses to “Decorate That Cake!”
Those all look amazing Tulip. Well done!
They all look damned delicious. I need a cold glass of milk.
Nicely done, Tulip! Since I can’t eat my cake, can I at least have it?
[golf clap]
Ok, fine…I’ll have a small piece of that peanut butter cream and chocolate cake.
Then I sprinkled dried coconut on top along with a few lime slices
So you put the lime in the coconut. Did you drink it all down?
Doctor!
Ain’t there nothin’ I can take!
You son of a…I was specifically going to warn Tulip about you and coconut!
My mother used to bake all the time. It wasn’t until I was an adult I realized how rare scratch built cakes were.
Although to be truthful my maternal grandmother did it better for most of her recipes.
Which of those are low carb?
Seriously, have you tried baking with almond or any other type of flour? I keep meaning to make chocolate chip cookies ? with almond flour and Lily’s chips, but never seen to find the time.
The only dessert I’ve tried with almond flour was a coffee cake of some sort, with stevia baking mix, and it turned out okay. Nothing special.
I do low carb, scratch made waffles with some frequency. A chocolate chip ? cookie version comes out quite good. My secret is some Watkins caramel extract and a lil fresh ground nutmeg.
Fresh ground is the only way to go. Packaged ground nutmeg is not only tastes like crap, in the U.S. it is also denatured.
You are clearly a gentleman of refinement and taste. You should get a turtle ?.
YES! ? meme!
?
https://twitter.com/TRHLofficial/status/1145496429089214465
That is awesome!
My wife bakes with almond flour. She makes a roll with cream cheese and strawberry (jelly?) that is unbelievable.
*reaches for that cold glass of milk*
I’ve baked a few low carb cakes, they turn out alright, but not as good as flour based ones. Cakes work better than a lot of other low carb baked goods since cakes don’t require gluten as much; cake flour has lower protein than all purpose flour and much less than bread flour. If I find one I like I’ll let you know. You’re also free to stop by and take the rejects.
AP flour is basically cake flour and bread flour mixed together.
Pretty much. It is made by mixing different flours together to get a middling protein profile, though the different flours used to make aren’t necessarily straight bread or cake flours.
I made a savory cheesecake with cream cheese and smoked salmon and some other things. It was… not appetizing to look at. Like chunky pale Pepto 😉
I….You….just…can’t even.
*Takes the baton from Sir Digby and continues to sputter*
Thanks, man.
Those look delicious.
You talk about your skill level as if it’s a limiting factor, but the stuff I’m seeing looks like something I’d expect to buy at a bakery. You might be selling yourself a tad short!
I’m not what you’d call a famous baker. I had a good run where I was baking bread pretty regularly but that along with most of my other time-consuming hobbies went by the wayside once my daughter was born. The one thing I make that’s not savory is shortbread. I’d say I’ve got my grandmother’s recipe, but, I mean, it’s shortbread, it’s not rocket science. The main things she brought to the table were volume–she’d make as many cakes (loaves? rounds?) as she had decorative cookie tins, which also determined the size–and the importance of taking a fork and putting dots in the middle, lines on the edges, and scoring slices so they’ll break reasonably easily.
They all look lovely. What do you do with them all? Sell them, gifts?
I take them to work.
I’ve worked a broiler, sous chef, etc. so I don’t know much about desert making. Anyway, from watching pastry chefs one thing they used was a pedestal. So they could get very even frosting, decorations, and such, by being able to keep the tool in place or only moving vertically and spinning the cake or whatever around.
um, dessert
In before I had a chance to make a “…and they called it peace” joke.
That’s how they do metal engraving also. I’ve considered starting out with engraving, but I barely keep up with my present projects.
LOL, as seen on Tucker….Beto campaigning in Mexico. Holy shit!
Que?
As I understand it, he’s pumping the asylum hopefuls for sad tales.
Euphemism?
Seriously?
“PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!”
Texans who voted for this guy should hang their head in shame.
Texans who voted for that guy have no shame.
Why? They can only vote in NY and CA, he doesn’t need their votes there.
I have no problem with Beta going down to Mexico to make political speeches. It’s the coming back across the border afterwards part I disagree with.
Mrs. G does a a chocolate peanut butter cake, similar to your last example. There’s PB in the chocolate cake, PB butter cream frosting and she uses dark chocolate for the ganache, because fuck milk chocolate. It is my all-time favorite cake, and it is soooo rich.
Do you use a turntable when you’re trying to get a smooth finish on the sides?
Do you use a turntable when you’re trying to get a smooth –
Only when she is DJing.
::drops beat, makes scratchy turntable noises::
I got one recently, it makes it much easier, but it isn’t necessary.
Yesterday, I complained about the clock on my mod being too slow, and now it’s showing the correct time.
https://twitter.com/PetiteNicoco/status/1145837042716332032
NSFW?
The first two replies were all that was needed.
The cat needs to work on his technique.
Those look delicious! I’m gonna blame my comparative lack of results on not having an offset spatula. Yeah! That’s it!
You know where you need to go!
Spatula City
What better way to say “I love you”, than with a spatula?
Akshually, it makes a huge difference.
Andy Ngo on Tucker now.
Nice evolution, Tulip.
AOC says migrants forced to drink toilet water after tense border
Normally wouldn’t be shocked that something like this happened. However given it’s coming from AOC, I’m betting she’s full of shit.
Well, the sink is technically part of the toilet as its all once piece. She’s arguably right but only in the same way she’s arguably right to call the migrant detention centers ‘concentration camps’.
She’s gotten pretty good at sophistry.
Well, “good” to the extent that her fans hang on every word.
Not good enough for a thinking person to immediately call bullshit.
The lack of self awareness is mind boggling.
Someone probably already mentioned this but she’s playing Trump’s game. Just keep throwing one ridiculous lump of shit after another at the wall – some of it sticks, some of it doesn’t. Content doesn’t really matter, just keep throwin’.
^This
I spent 3 months living in a place with a toilet-sink. If it’s good enough for me, it’s good enough for the illegals.
“I spent 3 months living in a place with a toilet-sink.”
Did you make wine in the toilet?
Out of mess hall jelly packets.
If eating ass is outlawed only outlaws will eat ass.
https://invidio.us/watch?v=VGBrdr5Ghn8
I expected so much more from you.
*disappointed*
https://archive.li/6HvcM/fb51b58470a6445c5aea31bd1598adcabdb25305.jpg
NSFW.
*Lights HM signal*
The original:
https://nsfwyoutube.com/watch?v=LArVQOr-vGU
That “nsfw” trick looks like something worth trying next time since I don’t have a Youtube account.
I don’t have a google account either. I have two cell phones, a dumb flip phone I use most of the time, and an Android smartphone with a touch screen and a bunch of shit I can’t use because I won’t sign up to google.
That’s the one I was hoping for…
These are delicious cakes. Too bad that I keep thinking about carbs when I see them.
Make America Skinny Again.
Fuckin’ A, man…
::sigh::
Great deal.
https://dkfirearms.com/product/riley-defense-rak-47-c-l-rak101l-7-62×39/
It looks it, though Century has made me suspicious of all American made AKs. I can only see so many improperly heat treated parts slowly deform and eventually fail catastrophically before I start making snap judgements.
I really like this, I might have to pick this up.
Nike Nixes ‘Betsy Ross Flag’ Sneaker After Colin Kaepernick Intervenes
Nike blew it (again.) The correct answer to Kaepernick would have been “go fuck yourself.”
They should have told China to go fuck itself, too.
Out scooped again! Stupid phone keyboard makes every post take 3x too long.
Kaepernick Is a fucking idiot. Again.
Fuck you Kaepernick and fuck you Nike. I’m not a big rah rah flag guy but give me a fucking break.
The NR link above that I cribbed from someone yesterday goes into some detail about why Nike doesn’t give a shit what you or I think. TL;DR – we’re old.
What NR link?
This one.
(Heh @ eyepiece shaming me for linking it twice)
“And Nike sided with the mass-murdering national socialists.”
I’ve said this before and its true. I’m absolutely amazed at the creativity that I’ve seen on the Glibs. Art, innovation and skill and in this case looks extremely good to eat. Those things sound so easy when you do it, Tulip, but my imagination just doesn’t work that way.
The wood working, the musical talents, the car repair and all the other creative things most of you do are something that I couldn’t master. Talent is required, a dash of patience and a lot of imagination. I am grateful that I can enjoy these things even if I can’t make them.
Thanks, Tulip, for the art show. I do know how to eat that stuff though.
Amazing the talent among, what 200 active people? And how many other talents are latent in those who don’t publish or post?
It gives me great hope that the Starship Libertopia will be filled with talented people who simply want to do what they do best without outside interference.
Hayek and I will take care of the pulsed power. Are the rest of you signed on?
Reference
BTW, first album I bought on 8-track and also the first album I bought on cassette.
Chauncey Gardner here
I thought that might be the Boston album with the flying guitar. I’m not sure why.
Honestly, I don’t think anyone wants to read about my electronics building. Although I could write about cooking, I’m too lazy to take pictures.
Yes we do!
Also ditto to the talent. I feel like the dummy in a room full of geniuses.
Mammary Monday provides momentous mountains ready to pulchritudinously protrude!
http://archive.li/wX2BJ
#1 is #1.
Archive is good. Chive links give me adblock detector and a bunch of crap.
Those do look delicious. Luckily for me, I’m on a break from clean eating, so I can partake. Most of the year I just have to suffer as my wife watches endless marathons of Great British Baking Show on Netflix. My wife, along with iur daughter and my MIL, did make me a german chocolate cake for my birthday, recently. Which is nice, because it’s my favorite cake and my MIL makes the best german chocolate cake I’ve ever had.
In other news, Nike tried to make a Betsy Ross Flag themed shoe, and guess who got upset. I thought he wasn’t protesting the flag, per se.
Spoiler: they pulled the shoe.
D’oh!
My man!
::fist/tentacle bump::
I made a ‘mirror glaze cake’ last Easter…not worth the effort (or the 2 cakes I ruined in the learnin’ process)
https://postimg.cc/QVqx1Qmd
https://postimg.cc/r087krrf
I’ll take the ruined ones !
Hate sneakers the sneakers that hate!
https://twitter.com/ChadHastyRadio/status/1145843638871711746
The headline says it all.
https://theresurgent.com/2019/07/01/some-journalists-really-are-revealing-themselves-as-enemies-of-the-people/
“In Portland, OR, over the weekend, Antifa attacked journalist Andy Ngo. He had camera equipment stolen and had to be hospitalized. Ngo has been at the forefront of a journalistic movement to document the power abuses of Antifa. In Portland, for example, the thuggish street goons have been encouraged by the mayor of the city to such an extent that even law enforcement feels helpless.”
“Julio Rosas, of the Washington Examiner, compiled a pretty good list of blue checkmarked journalists and activists who have defended Antifa in this matter. It is pretty clear that many of the people who call Donald Trump a totalitarian or would be dictator are actually fine with totalitarians provided the despot is on their side.”
Didn’t this guy who exposed such journalists get banned from Twitter?
https://quillette.com/2019/05/29/its-not-your-imagination-the-journalists-writing-about-antifa-are-often-their-cheerleaders/
Yes.
“I’d argue what the fear mongering he’s done against Muslims plus the work he’s done to discredit hate crimes, helped create an atmosphere of violence that vulnerable people all have to live through just for being who they are. This is bad, but he’s guilty of worse.”
Exposing hoaxes is not discrediting hate crimes.
Wonderful, Tulip! Although I must confess that I am more of a pie guy than a cake guy.
Re: baking. Mom’s mom made every loaf of bread that ever passed through her kitchen. Some of my earliest memories are of fresh bread coming out of the oven.
After we kids left the house mom reverted to making bread instead of buying it. That was probably 50 years ago and she is still at it. Sometimes the neighbor boys will come by to mow the lawn and do recent maintenance and she will reward them with a loaf of bread.
The Fourscores are more fresh fruit, wash and eat. As I said earlier, not much imagination in this house.
Forescore, if you’re still around.
We have an opportinity to visit our daughter in the midwest late this summer and would like to visit during your bee-fest.
If I recall, it is late in September. Fourth weekend? If you catch this then I’m at jemezhobbit with the gmail.
We’d also like to take the opportunity to visit those glibs of the uppermidwest who would be inclined. Might be our last foray into the area for a while.
I first made bread in 2009 and never looked back. The storebought kind is just not as good.
With the recent acquisition of my Kitchen-Aid stand mixer, I’ve gotten into high-hydration doughs. It’s an interesting new world.
Wife wants to get rid of our bread machine and I am torn.
On one hand I’ve learned that the only way that I can lose weight by diet over the long run is the low-carb method which means no starches which means no bread.
On the other hand I love, love fresh baked bread right out of the oven.
On the gripping hand I’ll probably keep it.
The bread machine was a gateway drug to handmade for me.
I am on the low-carb diet now too. One of the few caveats I make for myself is a (thin) slice of whole wheat bread a few times a week.
This gives the bread machine another purpose as I’m not interested in the usual half whole wheat, half bleached wheat bread that many shops market. When I make my own I know what’s in it. I actually like the denser, chewy bread that comes out when you only use whole wheat flour.
On one hand I’ve learned that the only way that I can lose weight by diet over the long run is the low-carb method which means no starches which means no bread.
On the other hand I love, love fresh baked bread right out of the oven.
You and me both, brother. If I can ever get back into a workout routine, I can reintroduce fresh homemade bread into my life.
I keep my bread consumption down by making it and giving half to the neighbors.
Hey! Did you guys know that Nike pulled the Betsy Ross shoes?
https://twitter.com/ChadHastyRadio/status/1145843638871711746
Did dope fall out of his ass, then he shot his nuts off?
Somehow, I was the first one to link to both stories.
COLLUSION.
https://www.foxnews.com/us/man-allegedly-hiding-drugs-in-butt-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-testicles
Now I wish Colin would shoot himself in the dick, too.
You want him to pull a Plaxico?
A man can dream.
Fine work, and I hope Sloopy sees this and gives up.
Black power https://imgur.com/a/z7bpa9X
What a day…
Someone needs a shower. Or three.
Generally speaking-
After a typical 60 hour week at work consisting of 5 12 hour shifts, after my third shower on day #2 of being off work, there will be no more black water in the bottom of my shower.
Look at the Mary Poppins racist, over here.
Haha awesome. That’s pretty much what I looked like when I would clean out the weld cells at the auto parts plant. Piles and piles of weld spatter mixed with soot and grease.
Great job, Tulip. I think my favorite (to eat) would be the lemon/cherry because I’m a sucker for both. But, damn, that monster cake is cute. Too bad Straff wimped out.
Public shaming of failure. Where does baking fall? Still dogeza or into seppuku?
Seppuku could also cleanse him of his Gaijin status. It would be a win-win for him.
Cultural appropriation…
Heh, I believe that I posted a pic of the cake my daughter and I made. It tasted disgusting and looked like unicorn manure.
Found it. Tulip won hands down.
https://imgur.com/a/zCRGjjm
Wait, when was that? Sorry I missed it and shamed you Straffinrun
A while ago. Don’t worry. Nothing could shame me more than that cake already had.
Mayo frosting?
Buccake?
I’m thinking the frosting wasn’t unicorn manure.
So what I’m noticing about the Glibs commentariat is… they all want cake!
Great article, Tulip. Beautiful cakes.
Who doesn’t want cake, every one wants cake.
But all they hear is “wannafud”
Internets=won
I’ll come at you like a whirling dervish, Brett.
Euphemism?
Wilford Brimley:
[on tape] Hi. This is Wilford Brimley. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully with this book, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors. First off, the retarded don’t rule the night. They don’t rule it. Nobody does. And they don’t run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.
That is fine stuff.
The recording is even better, if anyone could dig it up.
The show clip seems to have been struck down by Viacomm/youtube, but part of it is preserved in this shitty DJ’s ‘music’
It was a running joke at Hit & Run. Useful IRL as a recognition signal.
“Strangers With Candy,” fittingly enough.
You don’t rule the night. Nobody does.
Why can’t I find this clip on Youtube? It’s like it’s been purged. I can’t imagine what they have against Wilford Brimley.
I have been told that the cake is a lie.
You lie well, Tulip.
And your pants are on fire.
I think that is one of the finest short poems I’ve ever read.
It’s a triumph. Someone should make a note of it.
Who makes an AC to USB power adapter that isn’t bullshit?
I use Anker’s products (available on Amazon, of course). Specifically their 2-port and 4-port high-power adaptive charging models. I’m quite pleased with them.
Thanks. OK, I’ll go look. Most of the ones on Amazon, like the 18650 batteries they sell, don’t work as advertised.
I’ve been happy with both of those you mention. I abuse the hell out of them working outside and they still work like new after about 2 years.
Don’t have a 4 port one, just one that holds two phone charges and one that holds 4. I drop them all the time and get them wet and dirty and they still work good.
Anker is good shit.
Maybe try monoprice.
“Twenty Things You Probably Didn’t Know about Marianne Williamson”
https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/07/twenty-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-marianne-williamson/
Quentin Tarrantino’s new movie coming out in July does look very entertaining.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELeMaP8EPAA
“Unmask Antifa and Watch the Cowards Retreat ”
https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/antifa-violence-anti-masking-laws/
Despite best efforts, sometimes one slips through. This one will only be here for a short time folks, click quickly. NSFW
https://twitter.com/adidasUK/status/1145843862298157056
Is this even real life?
Or just a fantasy. Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality.
I don’t get it.
Oh – Twitter.
what even is this? A contest winner or something?
I’m guessing it’s like that PETA bot and replies to anyone who sends a message, and kids (or immature adults) are making the puter say naughty words.
Also this
https://twitter.com/adidasUK/status/1145856610193092608
I guess their Twitter is run by a very stupid robot.
Yep. But I don’t blame the bot. Blame the idiot that didn’t see it coming.
Or, you know, you could blame the people that gamed it. I’m gonna guess 4chan is involved.
I just took it as a very dark joke and lol’ed.
Bot says:
“You can’t fire me, I quit!!”
*deletes self*
And now Adidas==Hitler.
Congratulations, Twitter. You’ve made the world a better place yet again.
But I dont think you can see these tweets on the account’s page? Maybe just like a “hidden” tweet that only goes to the person that made (bought?) the jersey? But once you get that tweet, you can probably retweet it and others can see it.
Honestly, idk. Good for a laugh though.
I’m guessing a few people in UK getting frantic calls about now needing those twitter account login credentials asap lol.
Who knew the Boaty McBoatface nontroversy would end here, tragically, with N—– McN—–f—–face.
NaggerMcNoFunFace?
I heard what you said.
Sorry to go OT and necro-post here but Animal’s contributions always show up in the middle of my night so I miss the conversation in real time.
The movie “Jeramiah Johnson” had an oversized impact on young me as it came out as I was 12 or so. It inspired me to value self-reliance and to follow that path as much as I could. I even enjoy the soundtrack quite a bit.
My first firearms were black powder muzzle loaders – replica revolvers – but I did eventually buy a 45 caliber CVA Mountain rifle and later build my own Lyman Great Plains Rifle in 54 caliber. Both rifles were as “period correct” as I could manage. No shiny brass, all iron surfaces were browned (not blued), It was a project to “swamp” the barrel and fit it to the stock on the Lyman – a “swamped” barrel is slightly thicker at the ends and tapers to a thinner dimension in the middle. In the early 19th century this was how most barrels were shaped while being forged.
As to a “thirty caliber Hawken” – I have seen examples of small caliber Kentucky rifles, as small as 34 caliber – but I’m not sure how useful those would be hunting normal sized deer.
We can’t be blamed for TPTB exercising their time zone privilege.
Yeah, I missed the thread, too and wanted to comment.
As you mention, Jeremiah Johnson was a tribute to individualism, regardless of its veracity. Consider that the script was written by John Milnus.
If I recall, one of his compensations for the script was a Benelli shotgun. The studio asked, “If we send the gun over today can you start today?” His reply was, “No, I’ll have to start tomorrow because I’ll spend the day admiring the shotgun.” According to the story the shotgun arrived in a limo.
Many individualist lines. “Do you happen to know what month it is?” And, of course, “You skin that one pilgrim and I’ll send in another!”
I fucking love Milius. You ever watch the documentary on him? And, he apparently has recovered from his stroke (hadn’t heard news since the doc came out, but I found an article from April saying he was at a memorial for Jan-Michael Vincent)
I did watch it. Loved it. I hadn’t heard anything recent on his condition, so the JMV funeral info is, sadly, good news.
I don’t remember air-wolf like some of the other shows from my youth, but my dad spoke fondly of it and said I liked it as a youngin, so that’s enough to make me nostalgic…although my dad had no recollection that I was in little league and may have mixed me up with my older brother and Air-Wolf, but I’ll take any nostalgia I can get, real or fake. So yeah, bitter-sweet.
I just remember he was eighties hawt. And I think there was an airplane or something.
Hellicopter, they had to steal it back from Iran, or steal it to break into Iran…and Earnest Borgnign…
No, it was Libya, yeah, cuz I started rewatching when Hillary started a war there.
A great recipe. Very apropos.
Hmmm… to link the kickass Airwolf theme or Stringfellow Hawke playing the cello by the lake…
One of the lines which reminds me of my ex –
“Lonely for what? A full-time night woman?… I packed me a squaw for ten year, Pilgrim. Cheyenne she were. Meanest bitch that ever balled for beads.”
“Masked and Unmasked”
https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/masks-antifa-zapatistas/
“The Lie of Portland’s Antifa”
https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/the-lie-of-portlands-anti-fa/
Of course they did.
I don’t know if comparing an uprising by a poor and discriminated minority against a corrupt central government in pursuit of local governance to a bunch of trust fund kids cosplaying revolutionary by raging in favor of a large corrupt central government (if it be governed by the right TOP MEN) is the most apt comparison
Just to let TPTB know, I couldn’t post, so I re-booted and now it works. I was get some weird “unused” error message.
Jesus effin christ. 1. Austin, 2. Portland
@Heminator
“America’s urban governments have lost their minds.”
https://twitter.com/Heminator/status/1145886927461052416
@GryptoTheDog
“That’s funny, because the President of the Portland Police Association says otherwise.”
https://twitter.com/GryptoTheDog/status/1145872424069545984
Govt literally picking winners and losers.
They can camp in front of your house, but not city hall or in the parks.
Excuse me, but that’s a regulatory taking. If the sidewalk is an easement, then the only rights granted are the right to move through, not set up camp. I hope to see these laws struck down as unlawful takings.
In time, sure.
But I see that statement as the police departments plea for help from the citizenry to oust the shitty politicians.
That was an extraordinary diplomatic statement.
Urban America is largely a playground/ gated community for the wealthy. The rest of the tax cattle are left to their own devices.
?❤️Marianne.
Way hotter than Ginger.
CPRM reaches max level.
Hmmm. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D-cHm6KUIAAIm-t?format=jpg&name=900×900
She’d be great if she wasn’t supporting the same laundry list of bad ideas as every other Democrat.
Put her at 2nd behind Tulsi. She’s the insane that isn’t all that dangerous.
Now so long, Marianne.
The shamisen in this song works it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D1_EZpXPQzw
I’m pretty sure at the 4:01 mark she’s saying she wants to have a threesome with me and her cute girlfriend.
The latest We The Internet video I didn’t find funny, but the bloopers made something move in my no-no spot.
a) that’s me, except with the languages reversed
b) every time I see Marie ‘s name, I hear my teacher’s observation that it would be mar-ee-ai.
I think she’s saying “Futari no kizuna” so you may be right.
https://archive.li/7wzA3/98eaf382d286c2fec2b63c68463ee2b6f95742cf.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/oIPs0/1e25cfb04a74061c11e6fbd56b0218f12c8bc5f9.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/uaoLX/d697640039e2c666f106307553cab5e7091bec6e.jpg
NSFW.
Yes please
So that’s what broke Glibs.
To be fair, THAT breaks a lot of things.
My pants are tight and I don’t know why.
#ARiseInMyLevis
Yowsa
“Identity politics is cancer”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ls5jRM9_1Ts
This fuckin guy was raised in a nearby town, went to the rival of my first college, and is a general asshat. If he knew who I was I’d say nemesis!
So, an arch enemy, if you will?
I was looking for video of Santana Dotson (Packers D-Lineman from the 90s) doing a Good Feet Store ad, but I found this instead
I don’t know the connection there. I heard that he lived/lives in Texas, so…?
Arch enemy, arch support. It was a lame joke, but if I’d found the the actual ad it would have played better.
It’s OK–we’re still friends (kinda). :)~
Also, with my hearing damage, those guitars are way too high pitched, and it looks like a band of old dudes who sought a hot lady singer. It’s no Otep, who actually reminds me of some women from back in the day.
Old? I dunno…they seem to be in roughly the same bracket with each other. I figure they’re younger than me, so–young. But, there’s room for both bands in the world.
Betsy Ross flag is an offensive symbol because of its connection to an era of slavery
Huh?
His girlfriend is some überprog and that’s where he gets all these ideas, IIRC.
No comments about the lack of rainbow cake? I guess only homophobes visit this site.
Someone didn’t read Straiff’s comment about unicorn shit.
It’s July now, we don’t have to pretend to give a shit any more.
Which grievance group is celebrated in July?
Patriots? A minor feast, though. Just one day.
How about canada day cake 😉
https://twitter.com/_youhadonejob1/status/1145679162671325184
Had blueberry pie tonight from the Mennonite bakery. Quite good, one of the best pies I’ve had.
Mennonites, the OG Hipsters.
She just smiled and gave you her Mennonite sandwich?
::chunders on straff::
OFFS that had no business making me laugh so hard.
Well, with a head full of zombie, what did you expect?
I actually saw an Australian eat a vegemite sandwich. Never seen a Mennonite sandwich.
I hear it goes down rather easily, but, can be pretty dry.
Isn’t that the sheilas? #LOLSEXISTJOKEFORTHEWOKE
Actually, that was my lame joke (pacifism and Anabaptist-ism).
So…yeah.
Not to jump on the bandwagon, but…
https://hotair.com/archives/2019/07/01/ted-cruz-time-doj-investigate-portlands-mayor-letting-antifa-run-wild/
Before we rightly pillory that…person for unilaterally deciding who gets to be a for-reals journalist, can we all just agree that she’s fuck ugly? Like, opening-the-Ark-of-the-Covenant ugly?
Who is the she to which you are referring?
Carlos MazaCharlotte Clymer. I know, I know–it kinda looks like a pale toucan has learned to twitter. If you investigate the page, you will see what Mayim Bialik might look like after a nasty auto accident.I was thinking this, but still that’s better than a few women I’ve dated, so who am I to judge.
If Clymer is better than past dates of yours…we need to get you re-located!
Clymer was/is (I don’t know which) a man. Yes I’m serious.
Well, that would explain it. I wonder if he liked Goodbye Horses…
I would need to see a body pic, I’d rate the face about 4-5 drinks scale.
I’ll just assume your drunk.
Ha! Just kidding! welp I gotta go
*sweats nervously*
https://www.instagram.com/p/BzYWocZBjyK/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Huh.
I can’t remember if someone posted an article or if I just came across it. Apparently Clymer, while unequivocally male, got in trouble for some sort of sexual harassment. I forget the details. Not too long afterward, he declared that he was a she. I don’t know if he/she/xe is pre or post op or if an operation was even part of the plan. But the gambit seems to have worked. She can hit on chicks without consequences and throw rocks from her glass house.
I’m surprised more haven’t played that game. It’s like a Get Out Of Jail Free card for assholes.
Trantrender, IMO. .He was a bullying bearded asshole as a dude like a year ago, and then – suddenly – when it became useful, suddenly it’s “Charlotte”. And now every leftist loves to suck “her” off and can’t say a mean word. It’s very… convenient.
I never heard trantrender before.
oops, meant to type “transtrender”. And it’s not a term for society where you don’t want to, you know, get banned, because heaven forbid you point out that declaring oneself trans gets some advantages. Clymer seems like the sort of dirtbag who would do it.
I figured that’s what you meant. Did you make it up or is this something the kids are saying nowadays? *adjusts onion on belt*
Maybe the mayor identifies as a woman?
I identify the mayor as a schmuck. Maybe we’re both right.
Schrunk hasn’t been mayor for over forty years.
So, are they related by blood, or, just evil?
But wait! There’s more!
allegedly in part because the incumbent Republican mayor, Fred Peterson, offended the union when he wouldn’t oust Police chief J. Bardell Purcell.
and Purcell:
Diamond Joe Quimby, mayor of the fictional town of Springfield on the television show The Simpsons, created by Portland native Matt Groening, is loosely based on Purcell
Seriously? Diamond Joe Quimby reminds of every Kennedy that’s had a minute in the spotlight.
It’s Portland Police Bureau, not PD. And if they think Portland fears a DOJ investigation.., well I’ve got some bridges for sale.
Portland Police in happier days
And this
Tulip those cakes look great. Put those on your dating profile and you’ll be married as soon as you want to be.
Somebody wants Tulip to be barefoot and pregnant.
Somebody wants Tulip to make him a German Chocolate cake. And, I’m not talking about Mr. Simple.
I don’t eat…cake…
What, you want a beer? I don’t think she bakes beer. I mean, if she did, and it looked anything like her other baked goods, I’m sure it would be delish.
As for me, GCC is a weakness.
HM cornered the market on your preferred… dish.
Psst….Chafed! WhatamImissinghere…
Eating ass. If it’s about HM, the correct answer is always eating ass.
Oh, THAT! I wasn’t going there in relation to C’s comment. Guess I should aim lower…Uh, I mean, I should, uh, expect the worst…
You weren’t going there but I imagined CPRM was. So I went for it.
Yes, I see what you did there.
Hell yes. I’ll break out the soy milk.
Yeah, I said it. What are you going to do?
I’ll start by letting you have all of it.
I’ll be fine with a glass of water.
For goodness sake, I’ll make you coffee.
Thank you, but, really–I like water with most anything. But, especially sweets.
Of course, coffee does sound good right about now……
At this point I assume Tulip wears a biohazard symbol wherever she goes. I can’t imagine why else she’s single.
Not to take her inventory, but, highly educated, world traveler, and, baker of fine sweets and treats.
I’m starting to think few are worthy.
I don’t know how or when she will overplay her hand but I’m sure she will.
https://www.dailycaller.com/2019/07/01/ocasio-cortez-refuses-to-respond-people-drinking-out-of-toilets-at-border/
Just ignore her. She is drama on a stick and she believes she is the carrot.
Poor souls; they didn’t get their electrolytes.
*Nelson laugh*
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2019/07/01/center-for-american-progress-is-selling-off-thinkprogress-which-is-under-severe-financial-strain/