Friday Morning Links of Feh

I could be motivated…

 

Not really feeling it this morning. But, being uninspired should not be a reason to delay, or produce poor links. So, you get what I could muster up, from the absurdity of the world around us.

  • First, we ride my Catalan hobby horse. Go listen to a short bit of the sob story of the poor cops that raided Joan Sanchez’s house. Note this nice Orwellian phrase…”who is charged with misuse of public funds and disobedience“.
    Are we there yet?

     

  • Who knew commenter Winston was a Lord? Looks like one more rule/law/regulation coming up for ol’ Britannia.
  • I am quite sure that this won’t end up in a bunch of memes. Nosiree.
  • Oh, how could anyone be anything but absolutely sure this will work! Didn’t the whole Yellow Vest thing get set off by a Save Gaia With This One More Tax last straw?

    Merde!

Music link of Feh mood.

Comments

483 responses to “Friday Morning Links of Feh”

  1. Slammer

    SWISS LINKS!

    1. Rasilio

      Swiss links are the Holiest of links

  2. Tonio

    Doody is going to call me, too, once I finish this coffee. Also, FIRST!

    1. Slammer

      Number 2 and I have a special morning relationship, as well

      1. Festus

        Just logged in to say that two smokes and a coffee have the same effect come the ‘morn.

    2. Rebel Scum

      If you ain’t first, you’re last.

  3. ElspethFlashman

    C’mon Swiss! Shake that money maker!

    1. …an earthquake centered on the Paradeplatz in Zurich?

      P.S. favorite gossipy, sometimes bitchy Swiss business publication… https://insideparadeplatz.ch/

    2. Tonio

      Hi, Elspeth. I enjoyed your article yesterday, but didn’t read until after the thread was dead.

      I read a crap ton of pro se prisoner filings in my day and they were fascinating both for the surprisingly good penmanship and florid language. I later learned that because functional illiteracy is common among inmates that most prison correspondence is written, and often read, by the small number of literate inmates who serve as scribes. Inmates do not have access to good quality paper, and also write all the way up to the margins to save on paper costs. This creates a nightmare for the court personnel who have to scan those documents in. And try getting a sullen deputy clerk of court to actually put the paper on the glass and scan one page at a time and follow the special instructions “for documents with no margins [helpful illustration].”

      1. Tonio

        My fave prison slang – “whale number.” When you’re an inmate, your assigned number is everything and those numbers are part of the whole body of prison superstitions. Lets say I’m an old con with the number 2345, and a new prisoner comes in and is assigned number 12345. The longer number is the whale number for the shorter number, and the inmates with the number and its whale are assumed to have some sort of connection. Whale meaning large, as in an order of magnitude greater.

      2. straffinrun

        Ditto on the enjoy part. Every guy I’ve met that spent good time in the clink uses “You know whaddimean” as a filler in every sentence.

        1. blackjack

          I got there late too. I thought of “kiester” “stinger” “set tripping” “peckerwood” or “wood” meaning, hiding items in body cavities, makeshift fire starting device made from pencils or wires shoved into electrical outlets, being concerned with which gang someone belongs to, and dirty white boys.

          1. blackjack

            A stinger can also be used to warm water, btw. For making coffee.

            Also “caddilac” as applied to foods like top Ramen which have been upgraded with,say, chili’s, cheese, spices or meats.

  4. Fourscore

    “He challenged her for riding on the pavement”

    Now we can understand why Brexit is so difficult. She was riding her bike ON THE PAVEMENT. Say it ain’t true, Winston

    1. Slammer

      Gene Shalit is Lord Winston?

    2. straffinrun

      Pedestrian Moment!

    3. Tonio

      Adult cyclists riding on sidewalks is a huge safety problem. This is also appropriate and necessary pushback against the movement cyclists who demand bike lanes. You want to ride your bike for transportation, fine, but you follow the same rules as motorists.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Absolutely agree. There are places here where right next to the bike path/lane are wide sidewalks and still people ride their bikes on the sidewalks….and people push their carriages on the bike paths! Sometimes foolishly stopping without warning to attend to their child.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Yeah, this. Nobody’s hands are clean when it comes to transportation arguments.

          There are some places I ride my bike on the sidewalk because only suicidal fools would dare ride on the street and there usually aren’t any pedestrians. My favorite pedestrian trick is to walk on the sidewalk, but let their dog on the leash walk in the bike path.

          1. Tonio

            There are some places I ride my bike on the sidewalk because only suicidal fools would dare ride on the street…

            Mea culpa. But when I do decamp to the sidewalk I only do so if there are no pedestrians.

            I’m a recreational cyclist so choose my routes for scenery and lack of traffic, but prefer to ride offroad on dirt paths, etc.

          2. I have a ton of respect for the cyclists out near me. There are an abundance of hills combined with blind curves, construction equipment going 20mph too fast for the road, massive car-swallowing potholes, zero shoulders, and more traffic than the roads can accommodate. Yet, every weekend they’re out there fighting the good fight! If I were to dust off the bike and take it for a ride, it would be strapped to the car until I got to a dedicated multipurpose path.

          3. Nephilium

            The worst are the people who have their dogs on 10′ or longer leashes and let the dogs go ranging along the opposite side of the (multi-use) path, leaving a nice leash about a foot off the ground to fuck with anyone who comes across them. If it’s me, I’m in the street (with the exception of the areas that are only paths).

          4. Tundra

            No, the worst are people who don’t have their dogs on a leash at all. My dog got attacked by a Golden that was off lead. I saw them coming and asked the woman to put the leash on. She said “he’s very friendly” just as he came tearing into my dog, who of course went nuts. So I got to break up the fight and got bit pretty good in the process. The woman ran up to retrieve her dog “he’s never done that before!” Me: “that’s what the fucking leash is for”.

            The good news is that the chick at the doc’s office who did my tetanus shot and stitches was pretty cute.

          5. Pope Jimbo

            Can’t blame the goldie. Your dog smelled like you.

          6. WTF

            She said “he’s very friendly”

            Well maybe my dog isn’t, jackass.

          7. Tundra

            Right?

            My GSD was incredibly well trained and safe, but I never, ever walked her off lead. Dogs are unpredictable.

          8. Rufus the Monocled

            Why didn’t you sue to send a message? You’d win, no?

            That’s irresponsible behavior.

          9. Tundra

            Nah. Not my style. Besides, I was retarded for breaking up a dog fight by myself.

          10. Enough About Palin

            At Tundra: My GSD was never off leash while walking either. Not even for a moment. But after the third time she was attacked by a loose dog, I quit walking her. Sad, really.

          11. hate_speech

            I have finally trained my GF out of using one of those weird extending leashes. It took months of me arguing that you don’t have great control over the dog (a beagle), who is prone to darting after squirrels or discarded breakfast sandwiches. Finally, it sits unused.

            I also hate all the cyclists riding down the greenway trails here who think they’re in a time trial. The path is mostly pedestrians, slow the fuck down or go find a road with a bike lane.

          12. Nephilium

            The only multiuse trail I ride on a regular basis (when I’m not with the girlfriend, who averages ~9 MPH and has been passed by a jogger once), is the Towpath Trail along the old canal. Beautiful area in the warmer months, bikes are common, it’s crushed limestone so very few road bikes (but there are those who try), there’s a train that welcomes cyclists if you want to really explore, and there’s several good places to stop and refill water or grab a bite to eat. I seem to remember that this year they’re supposed to be completing the northern connector to Downtown Cleveland.

          13. Tonio

            Ziplines, aka extendable leashes, are the worst. I suspect they are popular because they allow the owners to comply with the letter of the leash laws without having their dog actually under control.

          14. hate_speech

            Ziplines, aka extendable leashes, are the worst. I suspect they are popular because they allow the owners to comply with the letter of the leash laws without having their dog actually under control.

            I fucking hate them. The only place I considered them acceptable was when we took the dogs to the beach.

            Beyond not having any control, I feel like it’s fairly easy to actually drop the leash. A standard leash you can loop over your hand and if you lose it, probably you’ve lost your whole arm.

            Joke’s on me though. My GF drops the fucking leash all the time when we’re walking. I love her to death, but boy, there are moments, like when she drops the leash as we’re crossing the street, where I just want to shake her.

          15. hate_speech

            Neph, that sounds pretty beautiful.

            Bikes are common on our paths too, it’s just that there’s a ton of people walking with dogs, kids, etc. The trails all have a posted 10 MPH speed limit. I don’t care if you stick to that precisely, but you shouldn’t be barreling past people. Slow the fuck down until you’ve got an open area with no foot traffic, then go crazy.

          16. Nephilium

            hate_speech: It really is. No speed limit signs on the trail, but I’ll usually only average around 15 MPH for most of the ride (too many blind corners and hills to really go full bore). There’s a bike shop right along the trail that also does bike rentals, and night rides (usually ~10 miles or so). It’s also the trail that the CF ride for Life uses for they’re fundraiser ride (~65 miles round trip for the longest path).

          17. B.P.

            As the former owner of a beagle, I must say… no one has great control over a beagle. You can just make helpful suggestions. Those dogs are stubborn as hell, but incredibly loving.

          18. I also hate all the cyclists riding down the greenway trails here who think they’re in a time trial.

            There’s a happy medium. When I used to commute on a multiuse path, I found that I could go relatively fast (~18-20 mph) passing pedestrians as long as I used the coaster to let them know I was coming and timed the “on your left” call to give me enough time to avoid the few people who still flinched enough time to recover and get out of my way. I’d slow down more for groups of people, and I’d maintain more speed for people with dogs.

            Ultimately it was the bike lane portion of the commute that made me switch back to the car.

          19. 15-18mph*

            20mph is what I’d average on the non-pedestrian stretches.

          20. hate_speech

            B.P. — You’re pretty spot on. I seem to have found a system that actually works pretty well. I say my dog’s name, and when she comes over, I feed her. Like most beagles, she’s basically a world-class nose attached to a perpetually empty stomach. Plus lazy. She’d rather come get what I’m offering than keep digging around for scraps. Which probably sums up the dog & human relationship through history.

            One of the fun things about having moved to the south is that people here are crazy about beagles, and stop to talk to us about their former pets all the time. I get a lot of comments about how well trained my dogs are. I always laugh, because I know her ‘training’ is pretty borderline.

          21. Rufus the Monocled

            I avoid bike paths like the plague. I head for the back roads in the fields.

        2. Tonio

          Those c*nty stroller moms are the worst. Favorite trick in my old neighborhood – meander three abreast down the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk, then cop attitude when a motorist wants to get by.

          1. Wait…wut? In the street???

          2. Tonio

            Yes, in the fucking street. It’s so hard to talk when you’re in line, and there are all those curbs and stuff…

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            Yeah. Suburban new mothers are the fucking worst.

          4. WTF

            Cunty stroller moms – band name?

          5. Professional Beach Bum

            I can’t hear them, just see the dirty looks. I run old school cherry bombs on hedders on the 440. Yep, dirty looks and gestures, but blip the accelerator a couple times and everyone moves.

  5. Rebel Scum

    I am just going to go ahead and preemptively *narrows gaze*.

    1. Thanks, I need all the help I can get this morning.

      1. WTF

        Here, have one of these.

        *EDIT FERRY CONFUZZLED*

        1. WTF

          Dammit! Try <a href="https://noblepig.com/images/2012/11/P1050925x.jpg&quot; target=_blank" this

          1. WTF

            Shit! SugarFree is in my head!
            Here

          2. Atanarjuat

            Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

          3. WTF

            Alcohol helps.

          4. SugarFree

            And my boots are filthy as I stomp around in there.

          5. WTF

            Oh, God, it’s true, it’s true…..*sobs in despair*

    2. whahappan

      Hey Rebel, you were asking yesterday why the Democrats were eager for Trump to release the FISA docs. They aren’t, you’re thinking of the Mueller report that they want released. They definitely don’t want any more info about the Steele dossier or the FISA process to come out, it will only make Obama and his “Justice” dept, the FBI Lynch et al look bad.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Pelosi wants the MR made public not Barr’s interpretation of it. Lol. She wants to read what’s in it.

        1. AlexinCT

          I don’t think she even wants that. They are asking for that knowing full well that the law will not allow this, and are hoping to use that as an excuse to keep this charade up. They are all in panic mode, because it is just a question of time before we start looking into the criminal activities committed by the Obama administration under orders from Obama himself, both on behalf of the Clinton campaign, and otherwise, and even the constant lying by the dnc operatives with bylines that pretend to be an unbiased media, will not save their reputation from the hit it will take then. Even their most avid supporters will be left with no room but to admit that the democrats are about as dirty and corrupt as they come.

          1. whahappan

            You’re spot on. A lot of the report is grand jury testimony and “sources and methods” that CAN’T be released, and they know it. Then they can pretend the proof of Russian collusion is being hidden by Barr.

        2. I thought you had to pass it, to see what is in it?

      2. Rebel Scum

        Word.

  6. Slammer

    Florida Man was at it again

    1. Fourscore

      The animal was just horsing around

      1. True, but the mane issue was that dude didn’t have the proper licence.

        1. Rasilio

          I’m not sure this case is black and white as you seem to think

          1. blackjack

            Maybe I’m just of a different stripe, but I don’t see why we can have mr. Ed, but no zebras? Btw, who’s behind the door?

          2. MikeS

            Hoof-da! You people and your puns.

          3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            Jeez, we’re going to need a referee to come in and blow the whistle on this thread.

          4. blackjack

            I guess I gotta do it.

            https://youtu.be/mSZyezEhRhs

  7. Tonio

    Regarding the London cyclist kerfuffle – he didn’t go to the police because it would have been impossible to identify her. Where were the bystanders here? I see someone assaulting someone I’m at least going to record that knowing it could be evidence. Also, London is surveillance central – if not government camera footage, then shop security camera footage.

    Regardless of the veracity of this incident, there is a huge problem with, adult cyclists riding on sidewalks in crowded areas.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      There probably is footage of the incident, but it probably doesn’t provide clear proof that one side or the other was totally in the right and the other side was totally scumbaggy.

      My gut tells me that this gal rode her bike on a semi-crowded sidewalk. Not the best, but not the worst endangerment of the public either. Then MP Busybody decided to scold her. The gal didn’t take it well and because she is a woman felt like she could physically abuse the guy with no repercussions.

      So now there is a situation where the gal has some blame, but so does MP Busybody. He could have minded his own business. Instead he escalated things and now it is in the news.

      MP Busybody now wants the licenses so he can scold and shame people without fear of blowback.

      1. Tonio

        Licenses to help with identification. And despite what is said in the comments (no, you don’t want to go there), they will help because even if a victim doesn’t get the license number, bystanders and security cams will. It’s not like the bike just disappears once it leaves the scene.

        I’m really torn about bike licenses. On one hand it’s the government expanding its power, and increasing the regulatory state. Licenses are a burden to subsistence riders – poor folks who use bikes for transport, who are a very different set than the smug people lobbying for bike lanes. But I do find it useful to beat the licensing drum when the aforementioned smugs start to whine for more bike lanes – make them pay for it. Also, demand helmets and that cyclists obey traffic signals.

        1. MikeS

          But I do find it useful to beat the licensing drum when the aforementioned smugs start to whine for more bike lanes – make them pay for it.

          If ALL the license fees went towards building bike paths, I could maybe get behind this idea.

          *The bicyclist in me wants more bike paths in my area, the libertarian in me tells the bicyclist in me “fuck off slaver”!*

          1. R C Dean

            We have bike lanes all over Tucson. Unless there is a hard physical separation from the auto lanes, they are still a hazard. With the possible exception of residential streets, cars and bikes cannot coexist safely on the same roads. Bikes are far too slow and fragile to be mixing it up with cars without a significant risk of injury or death.

          2. MikeS

            Absolutely. When I say “paths” I mean separate paths. I am generally not in favor of bike lanes, especially when they shoe-horn them into already crowded, city-center streets.

      2. Jarflax

        My gut tells me that this gal rode her bike on a semi-crowded sidewalk. Not the best, but not the worst endangerment of the public either.

        Ok, speaking literally you are correct it is not the worst, that is Nikki, but it’s pretty stupid and dangerous.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I’m totally speculating. My base assumption though is that the busybody is lying whenever one of these situations comes up.

  8. Rebel Scum

    Leave Communist Cutie-pie alone!

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

    Verified account

    @AOC
    Follow Follow @AOC
    More Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Retweeted Brett LoGiurato
    It’s almost as though there is a directed + concerted far-right propaganda machine with a whole cable news channel, and a dark-money internet operation propped up by the Mercers et al dedicated to maligning me & stoking nat’l division, reported on by @JaneMayerNYer or something

    Do you who else fretted about a vast right-wing conspiracy?

    1. WTF

      Stalin?

    2. Festus

      Someone who won the steak knives?

        1. Festus

          Taps side of nose.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        AOC ends up being fired, but complains about how she really deserved the Cadillac.

    3. Tonio

      That poor dear!

    4. leon

      “concerted far-right propaganda machine with a whole cable news channel,”

      Just imagine the damage if they had general control of the Media.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        (((they)))?

        1. Chafed

          That’s Omar’s schtick.

      2. WTF

        One entire channel!! OMG!!
        If only the left had control of some media…

    5. straffinrun

      The Dixie Chicks guitarist?

    6. Stinky Wizzleteats

      She’s in so far over her head it’s almost not funny.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Almost…

      2. Tonio

        Just wait, there will be a Guam-tipping-over moment and it will be glorious..

        1. SugarFree

          She’s already had five or six Guams, but the media papers over them. Thinking that tax incentives were revenue in the Amazon idiocy should have been enough to have her laughed out of a sane society. Or the shit of saying the Pentagon makes 21 Trillion in accounting errors every year.

          1. AlexinCT

            Yup. As I already mentioned a while back, when someone makes the ludicrous argument that there is a concerted movement to make her look back, remind the idiot making that point that this is happening despite the fact that the dnc operatives with bylines are doing their best to make this dumb woman look like she isn’t. It is not an accident that Karla Marx makes Dan Quale look like he was a member of Mensa.

          2. Nephilium

            Meh. As a former member of Mensa, being a member isn’t that impressive.

          3. AlexinCT

            The class that is all about the right credentials, sure as hell want people to believe it is. Me, I have avoided these special organization or networks for the very reason that I felt they were far more likely to be frequented by asshats that are there for the credential and not to add any sort of value.

    7. Rufus the Monocled

      She’s certifiable.

      ‘I don’t think so’ and ‘I’m the boss’ seems to think that she can hog attention and not be criticized.

      Moron personified.

      1. WTF

        Mostly an entitled little shit who’s been told her entire life how special and awesome she is without ever having actually achieved anything. And is now astonished to actually be subject to criticism.

        1. Tonio

          “And is now astonished to actually be subject to criticism.”

          ^This. And the really scary thing is that this is emblematic of the moral malaise of her generation.

          1. AlexinCT

            Why do you think so many of them think free speech does not protect speech they don’t like or approve of?

          2. Tonio

            Good point.

    8. Rasilio

      Oh noes there is a vast right wing conspiracy dedicated to maligning me….

      by faithfully and accurately reporting on what I do and say

      1. AlexinCT

        ^^^THIS^^^

      2. Tonio

        Yeah, she actually accused someone of “stalking her twitter.” Yeah, hon, that’s the point of twitter – to get your thought of the moment out to as many people who want to read it. Speech comes with consequences.

    9. R C Dean

      Let’s review the nicknames:

      Pol Thot
      Pol Twat
      Chiquita Kruschev
      She Guevara
      Karla Marx
      Communist Cutie-Pie

      Have I missed any?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Gulag Barbie

      2. Tundra

        Nieman Marxist

      3. Rasilio

        Occasional Cortex

      4. mikey

        Occasional Cortex

      5. Chiquita Kruschev is my favorite.

  9. Chafed

    Madeline Kahn *sigh* RIP.

    1. Festus

      Yep. Funny and 70’s hot!

    2. straffinrun

      Oh, that really does suck. Fun lady.

    3. Tonio

      Um, back in 1999. Still missed.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Hot and funny.

  10. straffinrun

    Did someone mention Lord Winston? *Either too offensive or too bad even for Glibs*

    1. Tonio

      So much socon butt-hurt.

      1. straffinrun

        Winston is supposed to be the sympathetic character.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    the absurdity of the world around us.

    I’m trying to convince myself the *whole* world has not gone insane, and it’s tough sledding.

    I foolishly attempted to watch a Morning joke clip (Why? I don’t know.) It was Mika huffing and puffing about how those evil racist Republikkkins called for Schiff to resign. I mean, seriously! How dare they accuse him of wasting millions of dollars grandstanding about Trump being a Russian intelligence asset, illegally installed in the Oval Office? I tapped out before the Joke himself could speak.

    Then, I stubbed my toe on this:

    The Washington legislature is one step closer to legalizing homeless encampments statewide. Last week, Democratic lawmakers passed through committee legislation, introduced by Representative Mia Gregerson, that would usurp the authority of city governments and legalize camping in all “plazas, courtyards, parking lots, sidewalks, public transportation facilities, public buildings, shopping centers, parks, [and] natural and wildlife areas” throughout the state.

    If passed, the bill, inspired in part by the work of Seattle University professor Sara Rankin, who claims to “advance the civil, constitutional, and human rights of visibly poor people” through “the repeal of laws that criminalize homelessness and poverty,” would represent the most significant extension of “survival crime” theory into American law. Survival-crime theory has been percolating through academic journals since the late 1980s. In a widely circulated paper, Rankin argues that the “intersectionality of poverty and homelessness” forces marginalized individuals to commit crimes to ensure their basic survival; therefore, state and local governments should abolish prohibitions against public camping, drug consumption, and low-level property crime.

    ——–

    “Compassion has become the human face of contempt,” social critic Christopher Lasch wrote a generation ago, and that observation is more relevant than ever. “Today we accept double standards—as always, a recipe for second-class citizenship—in the name of humanitarian concern.”

    As we all know, it’s easier to feign compassion than to do the hard work of undoing decades of bad law and “social policy”. Homelessness is first and always the inevitable result of capitalist oppression, so doing away with property rights will fix it.

    *taps bum on head with magic wand, flutters off*

    1. “public buildings, eh? I suggest installing a large amount of bums, hobos, and street-shitters into the legislative offices and buildings….it is compassionate!

      1. Tonio

        I often troll in local social media that the lobbies and restrooms of government buildings should be open 24/7 so as to be available as homeless shelters. Annoys the fuck out of the bureaucrats and “lock ’em up crowds.”

        1. “Thou hast made thy bed…now must thee lie in it!”

          1. Old Man With Candy

            I had no idea you were a Quaker.

          2. They would make excellent compassion cops.

          3. leon

            I’d say that more, but my daughter’s have no qualms sleeping in s bed full of Legos.

          4. SugarFree

            It will make her tough. Invincible, even.

        2. Fourscore

          I have thought that as well and I wanted the gov motor pools opened up on week ends so those without reliable transportation could visit their loved ones.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      More power to them for all the “public” land there.

      Really big fucking problem with the amount of private land that seems to be on there. If I owned a piece of land and it was taken over by a homeless encampment I’d be suing the government for a taking without compensation under the 4th amendment.

      1. Tonio

        ^This. The whole point of a shopping center is to provide a controlled shopping experience where you can exclude undesireables for the comfort and safety of your paying customers. Public accommodation laws make this situation worse.

    3. invisible finger

      “state and local governments should abolish prohibitions against public camping, drug consumption, and low-level property crime.”

      1) Government property is the government’s business. They can allow or prohibit whatever they want on it, within the limits of the Constitution.
      2) No need to convince me about ending prohibition of drug consumption
      3) The one thing government is supposed to be doing – protecting property rights – is the one thing the assholes want to cut.

      1. Tonio

        “Government property is the government’s business.” Strongly disagree. There is no “government property,” but there is public property. As in, open to all citizens.

        1. “Government property is the government’s business.” Strongly disagree.

          Hmmm, I may have to think harder about this vis a vis immigration. I’m not sure how my abstraction of government as an association that can own property holds up in the homelessness context.

          1. Tonio

            Yeah, I know it’s a slippery slope. But my way out is distinguishing between citizens and non-citizens. If you’re a resident alien and you are sleeping under a bridge they we probably don’t want you.

          2. Tonio

            then…

        2. invisible finger

          Tonio, I tend to agree with you in theory. My only purpose is to demonstrate that government – like it or not – is enforcing property rights of government property.

          What I don’t like is that on the one hand it wants to enforce rights on its own property but seems to think it’s A-OK to not enforce the property rights of any private property. (I left “private” out of point 3 by mistake.)

    4. Festus

      I got to watch a “Bum Fight” right outside the door of one of my contracts last Sunday. It was incredibly violent. Two guys had been stalking their prey for about half an hour like dogs on the prowl with plenty of screaming insults and obstruction of traffic. They were giving him a real shit-kicking and I had my phone in my hand ready to narc them but they finally left off without actually killing the poor fucker. Two blocks from the police station on a beautiful, sunny afternoon. We’ve had an influx of street people from surrounding communities because of the wildfires the last two summers that decided they liked the amenities here and never left. Our zombie population has quintupled and yet we keep feeding the beast.

    5. Rebel Scum

      Mika huffing and puffing about how those evil racist Republikkkins called for Schiff to resign

      I heard that Trump called him “pencil-neck” last night. I usually go with “bug-eyed” but I guess that works too.

      legalize camping in all “plazas, courtyards, parking lots, sidewalks, public transportation facilities, public buildings, shopping centers, parks, [and] natural and wildlife areas” throughout the state.

      Some of those things are private property. And I guess leftists no longer care about the environment.

      1. Festus

        The city is taking away the parking lot behind the University adjunct boon-doggle and turning it into greenspace in the same area. Shooting gallery here we come! Brew-pubs cheek-by-jowl with flop-houses and soup kitchens.

      2. leon

        I was gonna say the same thing. Most of those are private property. Even a sidewalk on my property only has an easement for travel through my property, not sleeping on it.

        Contrast this with the municipalities that criminalize putting homeless people up in shelter that didn’t meet the government’s standard.

        You can’t let them sleep on your garage, but you can’t kick them off your driveway.

        1. Tonio

          Two conflicting sets of laws, leon. The homeless/garage thing is a code issue, and enforcement of that is often at the behest of NIMBYs.

          The driveway/sidewalk thing is public rights-of-way thing. Privatizing sidewalks and streets in residential neighborhoods would go a long way to solving this problem. No objection to bums sleeping under bridges on public highways.

          1. leon

            I know they are two different laws, I’m saying that if you are going to force private property to be open to homeless, it makes no sense to hamstring the few who will try to make it more livable.

    6. Usurping the authority of municipalities to force transgender bathrooms, however, is totes evil.

    7. Slammer

      The future is a boot stepping in pile of bum shit. Forever

      1. Festus

        Good’un, Slammer!

      2. SugarFree

        Day-um. That’s going on Twitter!

    8. hate_speech

      and low-level property crime

      Go fuck yourself lady. Why should anyone be given the ‘right’ to ruin other people’s stuff?

      1. Park a few bums in her yard, or the lobby of her apartment building…

        1. hate_speech

          I’d say low-level property crime could include breaking the front door. Let’s park em in her bedroom.

        2. AlexinCT

          These people know that the decisions they make will always only impact others. That is why it is so easy for these virtue signalers. You demand the same shit be done to them as they do to others, and suddenly this crap will vanish. There is a reason the political class excuses themselves and their elite buddies from the shit they foist on the rest of us. Including the application of the law.

    9. Atanarjuat

      I doubt the greens will let bums trample and throw trash all over government-maintained wildlife areas.

      1. B.P.

        Here in Colorado there is a lot of camping on public lands, mostly federal. Always has been. It was usually hikers and the like, but recently there have been homeless camps popping up. Last year a couple of stoners from Alabama set off a pretty decent forest fire. Most of the objection to the camps is coming from local townspeople, not enviros. I don’t know that the greens have any organized effort against it.

        https://www.5280.com/2018/01/danger-in-the-forest/?src=longreads

    10. B.P.

      Legalized urban camping may be coming to my town via initiative…

      https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/360/does-denvers-urban-camping-ban-need-to-go-voters-decide-this-may

      “The group No on 300 says reversing the ban would also allow camping in right of ways between the sidewalks and curbs in any neighborhood.”

      If this actually turns out to be the letter of the law and the initiative passes, I’m tempted to camp on the sidewalk in front of one of the organizer’s house. Should no organizer of this initiative actually own a house, the house of someone who donated a chunk of money to the passage of the initiative will do.

  12. leon

    Geez. Winston’s mom looks great for being the mother of someone in his 70s

    1. Old Man With Candy

      It’s sort of like the weird SP-WebDom time warp where the mom is younger than the offspring.

      1. Not Adahn

        An accident involving a time machine and a prophylactic.

        1. Nephilium

          That’s not necessarily the only way to be your own grandpa.

      2. Jarflax

        Wait does the Free Candy Van have a flux capacitor?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          And a DeLorean chassis.

          1. AlexinCT

            Does it also have a drone anti-area denial system?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Macron has confused many in Brussels with his reluctance to agree to join the liberal-centrist family in the European parliament, known as ALDE, which would seem his natural home.

    Partly that is because the word “liberal” in France has long held negative associations with Anglo Saxon-style free market economics, which French officials have mentioned as a branding problem.

    “If we try to look sane and rational, nobody will vote for us.”

    1. Gadfly

      What’s most ironic about that is that in Anglo-Saxon land free market economics is often known as laissez-faire, a decidedly French term.

  14. From last thread:

    I mentioned this once and didn’t see if you replied; can we please see the comment numbers? It’s kind of nice to break up the threads. They kind of run together without them…IMHO

    Also, Could the Unread Comment count (and Next New Comment button) go up in between the Read and Hide buttons?

    Regarding the comment numbers, I’ll have to check what happens when I turn them back on. Honestly, I forget turning them off in the first place. It may have been a visual clutter choice on my part, or it may have been a layout issue in mobile. Either way, once I isolate the code, it’s easy enough to toss a toggle option into the options menu.

    Regarding the unread comment button, there’s a very important reason for it being nowhere near the read and hide buttons. Generally, it’s so you don’t accidentally do something irreversible (like clicking the read button) by fat fingering the most used button on the screen.

    Specifically, mobile Firefox has some weirdness when you’re not fully zoomed in. It doesn’t place the touch at the right spot on the screen. Sometimes the zoom would be undetectably less than 100%, and I’d properly touch the next unread button, but the touch would register on the mark all read button. Rather than debug Firefox’s touch positioning system, I decided to put some distance between the most used button and the irreversible button.

  15. Gordilocks

    A still shot taken, just before the cameras rolled, on the AOC film we all want to see.

    1. straffinrun

      You’ve gotta be Voice of Gord, eh? LOL.

      1. Gordilocks

        Yeah that’s me. You?

    2. Slammer

      That joke goes really well with the AOC conspiracy thread above. People think Blacked.com is a Conspiracy

      1. Warty

        People think Blacked.com is a Conspiracy

        There’s a big overlap between the people who love BBC porn, the people who complain about Jews, and the people who love tranny porn. Heroic Mulatto could give you a full anthropological report.

    3. Tonio

      I’m a huge fan of Common Sense.

      1. AlexinCT

        Sadly, most people today are not, especially when it suits them Tonio.

    4. Rebel Scum

      Well, she said she wanted to run train…

      1. Tonio

        [golf clap]

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I decided to put some distance between the most used button and the irreversible button.

    Spoilsport.

    1. Festus

      Ah, the “shocker”!

      1. B.P.

        *golf clap*

      2. Democratic Hitler

        ^That is post of the day right there.

    2. blackjack

      Make it look like a man I in a boat and we’ll never find it.

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “In the Wednesday afternoon session of the trial of Catalan independence leaders in Spain’s Supreme Court”

    That’s quite a democracy Spain’s got there.

    1. Monarchy!


      “You can call me Rey.”

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Felipe Juan Pablo Alfonso de Todos los Santos

        Rey it is.

        1. robc

          I am half surprised the last name isn’t de Castillo y Aragon, but I guess there have been all kind of Bourbons and other corruptions in the last 500 years.

        2. By the Grace of God, King of Castile, of León, of Aragon, of the Two Sicilies, of Jerusalem, of Hungary, of Dalmatia, of Croatia, of Navarre, of Granada, of Toledo, of Valencia, of Galicia, of Mallorca, of Seville, of Sardinia, of Córdoba, of Corsica, of Murcia, of Jaén, of the Algarves, of Algeciras, of Gibraltar, of the Canary Islands, of the East and West Indies, of the Islands and Mainland of the Ocean Sea; Archduke of Austria; Duke of Burgundy, of Brabant, of Milan, of Athens and Neopatria; Count of Habsburg, of Flanders, of Tyrol, of Barcelona, of Roussillon, and of Cerdanya; Marquess of Oristano and Count of Goceano.

      2. robc

        It is Juan Carlos, right?

        So you can call him Rey J.

        Damn: looked it up, the son isn’t Juan Carlos, but Felipe. Way to ruin my joke by abdicating, dickhead.

      3. Tonio

        Would!

        1. AlexinCT

          You go get em brah!

      4. Sean

        Looks like Dennis Miller.

  18. Rebel Scum

    Convert this CAD file to MicroStation, they said. It will be easy and definitely won’t crash three times, they said.

    1. Festus

      Invade the Soviet Union in high Summer, they said. It will be easy and we’ll be in Mockba before the leaves turn, they said.

    2. Crash three times on the ceiling of you want me.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    There’s a fish in there somewhere. There just has to be.

    When people can’t see things, conspiracy theories fester. That goes double for President Donald Trump’s tax returns, which he’s made clear he’ll be keeping from public view, making many people wonder what he could be hiding.
    The Justice Department is supposed to be scrubbing the Mueller report for release in some form to Congress. Redactions, cuts or edits will only feed frustration and lead to further conspiracy theories.
    The American people are used to TMI, so the secrecy that keeps Robert Mueller’s report from public view is extremely difficult to process, especially given the seriousness of questions Mueller was investigating, like foreign election interference, possible campaign collusion and obstruction of justice.
    Mueller invested two years and employed scores of attorneys and investigators, and as of now, the public has seen 74 words from his full report. That jumps to 89 if you include the single footnote in Barr’s summary and 101 if you count the title.

    300 pages, and no proof? WHITEWASH!

    1. leon

      “The American people are used to TMI,”

      Really? We get TMI about Fast An Furious? IRS? FISA courts? NSA?

    2. robc

      “When people can’t see things, conspiracy theories fester.”

      Vegas shooting?

      1. Tonio

        “What Vegas shooting?” -Government and its media enablers.

        1. leon

          They are just making sure what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

      2. B.P.

        Dude was just having a bad day.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I guess leftists no longer care about the environment.

    In Seattle, any way. If people started “homesteading” in the Olympia National Forest, the eco-mobsters would be agitating for them to be evicted in the most violent way possible.

    1. Festus

      They’d be nailed to the majestic cedars as a warning “Pour l’autres”.

  21. Pat

    Dogs can smell epileptic seizures

    French scientists say they have proof that dogs can pick up the smell of an epileptic seizure.

    The University of Rennes team hope the findings could lead to ways to predict when people will have a seizure.

    These could include dogs or “electronic noses” that pick up the precise odour being given off during a seizure.

    Dogs have previously been shown to be able to sniff out diseases including cancers, Parkinson’s, malaria and diabetes.

    This will be extremely diagnostically useful. “Hey, I think that guy flopping and twitching on the floor might be having an epileptic seizure, should we give him medical attention or see if animal control can get a dog in here so we can be sure?”

    1. WTF

      French scientists must be blissfully unaware that “seizure dogs” already exist in the US. They can tell when someone is about to have a seizure and they alert them to sit down or lie down and can also get help.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Socialized medicine only advances by copying non-socialized medicine.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Sounds like a plot by the cops to bring in a drug seizure dog – for your own good – when doing welfare checks.

  22. robc

    Maybe the new Mrs Cage wouldn’t put out?

    After not having mentioned him before (as far as I remember), this is going to be my 3rd Mark Gungor mention in the last week: As a pastor/marriage counselor, he apparently runs into lots of cases of (usually) the wife refusing to have sex AT ALL after the marriage. He abhors divorce, but recommends annulment in these cases.

    Tying back to the step-family thread, many of these are cases where the woman was sexually abused when young and get over the mental hurdle from abuse to loving sex.

    1. Festus

      Does this involve Pastor Gungar practicing some hysterical manipulation?

      1. robc

        No, he would be all over those kind of pastors. He had a show that aired on one of the Christian networks but kept getting in trouble for using words like vagina and ejaculation too much. I have no idea what channel it was on, my wife and I used to watch the video podcasts some.

        His son is coming to my church this fall, taking over his Dad’s marriage seminar: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.

        It is available on youtube. I posted a clip from it the other day.

        1. Festus

          You know I was just making a funny and not trying to be insulting, right? Good on you guys for finding a philosophy that works for you!

          1. robc

            I know. And honestly, its legitimate in many cases.

        2. ChipsnSalsa

          They wife and I went to his shows seminar last year. He is very entertaining but definitely has a lot of good advice for marriages. He is willing to talk about anything as far as I can tell, he would send a lot of prudish Christians the fainting couch.

          funny and over-the-top guy that will make a lot of people laugh (hence Laugh Your Way…)

          1. robc

            I saw it as a video at our church 4 years ago.

            We are going this fall when his son does it live. They have different personalities (but are both funny guys), so it will interesting to see how it is.

            His show had complaints for being “non-christian” because of that willingness to talk about anything.

    2. Tonio

      Then why did she get married in the first place? Deliberate fraud?

    3. commodious spittoon

      but recommends annulment in these cases

      If she’s not into regular sex I don’t think she’ll favor analment either.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Cocaine Turtle strikes again!

    “I come to the floor to discuss the unprecedented obstruction that has faced President Trump’s nominees for the past 26 months and counting and to announce the Senate is going to do something about it,” McConnell said on the floor.

    McConnell’s action Thursday sets up a vote next week on what would be a permanent standing order to reduce debate time for district court and most executive branch nominees. It needs 60 votes to pass.

    Senate Republicans say if Democrats stop the resolution from getting 60 votes, they will go ahead with the nuclear option, a controversial tactic used to set a new Senate precedent, and essentially rewrite the Senate rules, with a simple majority vote.

    It’s called the nuclear option because it’s viewed as a drastic escalation of partisan warfare.

    “The status quo is unsustainable for the Senate,” McConnell said. “It’s unfair to this president and the future presidents of either party. It cannot stand … it will not stand.”

    1. Rebel Scum

      Schmoobs has a short memory.

      “Sen. McConnell’s approach has always been to manipulate Senate rules when it helps him and then change Senate rules when the tables turn; this is just another step in his effort to limit the rights of the minority and cede authority to the administration,” Schumer said in a statement.

      1. WTF

        Harry Reid says “hi”.

      2. leon

        “limit the rights of the minority”

        But only when I’m the minority. If you are, then you are an immediment to democracy

        1. Rebel Scum

          +1 mandate

    2. Festus

      Didn’t learn from Harry Reid. This bodes ill down the road.

      1. leon

        Yeah. I don’t like the nuclear option.
        Does not bode well for the long term.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    As a pastor/marriage counselor, he apparently runs into lots of cases of (usually) the wife refusing to have sex AT ALL after the marriage.

    A stereotypes rooted in reality?

    1. Festus

      Meh. I’ve seen about equal representation of the sexes in my admittedly limited anecdata. Sometimes the thrill is gone…

    2. Festus

      Meh. I’ve seen about equal representation of the sexes in my admittedly limited anecdata. Sometimes the thrill is gone…

      1. Festus

        Two studies. Seems legit.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I think that counts as replication!

        1. Festus

          Aw C’mon Swissy… I stuck the landing!

          1. The squirrel was amazed.

          2. Festus

            *takes a bow and pertly gambols off the mat*

    3. robc

      These aren’t the stereotypical cases. The stereotype is more of a slow disinterest over time. These are flat out refusals to ever have a first time.

      1. Festus

        That’s… different?

        1. Not Adahn

          It seems to be working for Sansa and Tyrion.

          1. Rasilio

            My money is on her agreeing to remain his wife and eventually falling in love with him with the two of them ending up on the Iron Throne when all is said and done

      2. Urthona

        Doesn’t that make the marriage invalid?

        1. robc

          That is why it is an annulment and not a divorce.

  25. Pat

    Cuba, Google move to improve island’s connectivity

    HAVANA (AP) — Cuba and Google signed a deal Thursday moving the island one step closer to having a state-of-the-art connection to the modern internet.

    The American internet giant and the Cuban government agreed to create a seamless, cost-free connection between their two networks once Cuba is able to physically connect to a new undersea fiber-optic cable that would be laid sometime in the future.

    With that cable in place, the so-called peering deal linking Google’s global internet backbone directly to Cuba’s local network would allow Cubans to connect faster to content hosted on Google servers. It would also reduce the Cuban government’s cost of connecting users to Google content.

    Network owners like the Cuban telecoms monopoly Etecsa currently must pay third-party operator fees for passing traffic along to sites such as YouTube, Google Maps and Google.com.

    “We are excited to have reached this memorandum for the benefit of internet users here in Cuba,” Brett Perlmutter, the head of Google Cuba, said before signing the deal.

    dON’t bE eViL

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      HAVANA (AP) — Cuba and Google signed a deal Thursday moving the island one step closer to having a state-of-the-art connection to the modern internet.*

      * For the elite that the government allows. Rest of ’em are SOL.

      1. Festus

        I’d imagine those ’58 Chrysler batteries must be on their last legs by now.

    2. Nephilium

      Maybe they’ll do as well in Cuba as they did in Louisville.

      1. robc

        I have a friend who was involved with that. I will have to ask him for details when I see him on Saturday.

        1. Nephilium

          Most of the stories I’ve read placed the blame on the local utilities, bad planning, and local government missteps. With Google taking the lions share of the blame for just pulling out after the grandiose promises.

          1. robc

            Knowing the Louisville government…I can see them being a big problem.

            He leans left, it will be interesting to see who he blames.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Google got what they intended- other companies spending money to increase residential internet speeds.

    3. leon

      If it was an open internet, this would be great. But what are the chances Google is just trying to resell the Chinese solution.

      1. Atanarjuat

        Yeah, they were crossing their fingers when they said “don’t”.

    4. Rebel Scum

      So…a Havana Connection?

    1. The decision to start building with climate change in mind follows a string of high-cost disasters. From 2016 to last year, the company spent $874 million on natural disasters, including $626 million in 2017 alone.

      So, weather =/= climate (except when it benefits the narrative). But here, climate change = natural disasters? Is this corporatist virtue signalling or is this really part of their business strategy?

      Maybe both. It would make sense to plan for natural disasters, but to conflate that with the current climate change narrative is bullshit.

  26. Juvenile Bluster

    [NSFW if your boss is a furry] I’m now 100% convinced that PETA is a troll organization and we’ve all been fooled for decades.

    https://twitter.com/peta/status/1111342954801696768

    1. AlmightyJB

      Is that Q?

      1. Nephilium

        Speaking of… is Q really Opus?

    2. Festus

      Hawt!

    3. Chipwooder

      So SugarFree is moonlighting as an illustrator for PETA?

      1. SugarFree

        Just working as a model.

  27. Rufus the Monocled

    Anyone live near the Mid-West floods? Wow.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClMsxT8NvIE

    1. Festus

      Dr. Mcgillicuddie’s Elixir!

    2. commodious spittoon

      Fuckin’ Nebraska always trying to soak up the spotlight. IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, NEBRASKA.

    3. dorvinion

      Here’s a good look at the flooding near Omaha from about 2 weeks ago.

      https://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/images/144691/historic-floods-inundate-nebraska

      From the perspective of central Iowa, tributaries to the Des Moines river did have some pretty bad flooding because of the ice jams, rapid melting, and rain, but they are mostly back to normal stage as far as I can tell.
      The flood control reservoirs on the Des Moines river have kept that river pretty well tamed.

      The Saylorville reservoir upstream of Des Moines is kinda small, and it went from its normal conservation pool to 75% full in a matter of 2 weeks.

      Red Rock downstream of Des Moines is about 45% full, but I think it can hold three to four times the volume of Saylorville can hold.

      A normal or slightly dry spring would be nice.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Interesting. Thanks. AOC babbled about the floods because GND.

  28. AlmightyJB

    “It was a signal that Macron hopes to capitalize on the renewed surge in environmental activism, especially among the young, evidenced by the success of Swedish schoolgirl Greta Thunberg’s ‘school strike for climate’.”

    Good reason. Why can’t any of these kids strike for government spending reductions.

    1. hate_speech

      Oh look, a kid found an excuse to not go to school. Guess we should use this as motivation to steer national policy. As good a reason as any I suppose.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Totally not insane

    Outraged by widespread allegations of cheating in the college admissions process, California lawmakers on Thursday proposed a sweeping package of bills aimed at closing loopholes that officials said gave the children of wealthy parents a side door into elite universities.

    The six measures would bar special admissions without approval of three college administrators, regulate private admission consultants, audit the University of California admissions process, and deny state tax write-offs for donations made by parents as part of the cheating scheme.

    —————–

    “This is about fairness and equity,” Ting said. “We must close the side door that enables privileged families to get their children into elite colleges, taking the place of deserving students.”

    Assign all students to colleges by random selection. It’s the only way to be sure.

    Or nuke it from space.

    1. Rebel Scum

      ‘Equity’?

    2. If fraud had been illegal, none of this would’ve happened.

  30. Pope Jimbo

    Get your sob rags, Glibs!

    Local lefty reporter is appalled that a bill just passed out of committee that would waive the minimum wage for … minor league baseball players.

    These workers earn as little as $1,700 a month for just four months a year, yet their employer requested an exemption from laws that would pay them barely $10 an hour. The committee approved the exemption over the objections of the president of the state’s largest labor organization.

    So who are these workers?

    They are the 22 athletes who suit up for the St. Paul Saints, the minor league baseball team that plays home games at the heavily public subsidized CHS Field, 1.2 miles away from the state Capitol.

    And it was the Democratic Farmer Labor controlled committee that passed the bill to exploit these people!

    1. Festus

      Most of these guys are probably from college ball and are desperately reaching for the brass ring. If they were good enough to get this far doing something that they almost to a man love to do for little pay or recognition who gives a shit? These are grown men playing a children’s game and if it doesn’t pan out for them they’ll have bragging rights from Mintoka to Moose Jaw about the time that they nearly made The Show. *grumbles about blown chances and coulda-beens*

      1. Pope Jimbo

        How can a minor league player raise a family on those slave wages?

        Have you no heart?

        1. Festus

          No. No I do not.

      2. pan fried wylie

        Coulda Beans [slogan pending]

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I was mad last year when I went to a playoff game between the St. Paul Saints (boring!) and the Kansas City T-bones because you couldn’t buy a T-bone hat at the stadium.

          Obviously, I’m not a fan of any sloppy KC product (I’m looking at your “BBQ”) but a T-Bone hat would have been cool.

          1. B.P.

            I have a KC Monarchs jersey from the Negro Leagues museum. I wore it to spring training in Arizona last month and received exactly one thumbs up.

    2. Fourscore

      “They are the 22 athletes who suit up for the St. Paul Saints, the minor league baseball team that plays home games at the heavily public subsidized CHS Field, 1.2 miles away from the state Capitol.”

      I’d trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday. If wishes were horses…

  31. Chipwooder

    Man, fuck these late NCAA tournament games. I’m gonna be dragging ass all day because I was up until 1 am to watch UVA, and then it was 2:30 before I calmed down enough to sleep.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Wasn’t impressed with UVA. They should have put Oregon away.

      1. Chipwooder

        Oregon’s defense is legit and the kind of length/athleticism combo they possess usually gives us trouble. They remind me a lot of Florida State, who always gives us trouble. Think Purdue is a much better matchup for us, honestly.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          I was thinking that about Purdue. The tricky part of any short tournament are the early rounds and they survived it.

        2. It’s funny because the Purdue fan base is saying the same exact thing. We were half-hoping for the Oregon upset, but UVA is the more advantageous match up for Purdue, minus the high quality perimeter defense.

          The only thing that had me rooting for Oregon was the fact that most of the double digit seeds lose steam in the elite 8.

    2. The trick is to not watch the NCAA tournament games. I got a full 8+ hours of sleep last night. ::sigh::

    3. SugarFree

      Yup. UK isn’t playing until 9:57 tonight, which you know is going to be 10:40.

      At least I don’t have to go to work, though…

      1. Chipwooder

        Ours was scheduled as a 9:49 tip, which ended up being 10:34 because Purdue-Tennessee went to OT.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          That was fun all those bombs they were hitting.

      2. robc

        Advantage central time.

        1. SugarFree

          One of the few. And you can go see two movies at the drive-in and get home before 2am.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “For every student admitted through bribery, there was an honest and talented student that was rejected,” McCarty said in a statement. “This legislative package of college admissions reforms will ensure that there are adequate checks and balances to catch fraudsters, but more importantly to protect the sanctity of the admissions process.”

    Whatever you do, don’t mention the hundreds of “honest and talented” students displaced by other, similarly qualified applicants, simply because enrollment is not unlimited.

    1. leon

      And don’t mention the qualified person who didn’t meet enough quotas to be admitted

  33. Pope Jimbo

    The horror continues.

    Sure the proud SJW’s of Minnesoda were able to change the name of Lake Calhoun to Bde Maka Ska so no one will ever have to worry about accidentally honoring a proponent of slavery.

    Turns out their work isn’t done yet. The Park Board is approved a resolution to change the names of nearby streets that might still have “Calhoun” in them.

    The kicker of the story?

    Under the city’s charter, the Park Board has authority to name and rename its realty.

    1. Festus

      They did that here. Changed the name of the biggest park in the City to something unpronounceable so we went along with it and kept calling it “The Park’.

    2. Tundra

      Holy fuck will that be a mess. Can you even imagine trying to give your address over the phone?

      These people are insane.

      1. Festus

        Incremental change becomes full-blown idiocy within one generation. Huh, I guess wanting things to be more or less like they were twenty years ago makes me a ranting Bircher.

    3. Rebel Scum

      And how much is this name change going to cost?

      1. Festus

        They don’t care. It’s a power signal.

      2. invisible finger

        From our perspective: too much.
        Form their perspective: not enough.

    4. Ha, I read realty as reality. The latter is a better fit.

    5. Rhywun

      The park board owns streets? That’s… curious. And a quick glance at a map is showing me plenty of folks living on those streets. I’m sure they’re thrilled to change the name of their street to some unpronounceable gobbledygook.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        You don’t know the demographic living on those streets. They’ll be first in line to institute this name change.

  34. Pat

    Family Tree DNA offers to trade privacy to catch criminals

    The at-home DNA testing company Family Tree DNA is asking customers to share their genetic data to help law enforcement solve crimes. A video featuring Ed Smart, the father of kidnapping victim Elizabeth Smart, attempts to frame the sharing of its genetic database with FBI as a positive. According to MIT Technology Review, the video will air as an ad in San Diego, where police were recently able to solve a 1979 murder after finding a link in a publicly available DNA database. The ad is part of a larger campaign featured prominently on Family Tree DNA’s website.

    “When the loved one is a victim of a violent crime, families want answers. There is more DNA available at crime scenes than any other evidence. If you’re one of the millions of people that have taken a DNA test, your help can provide the missing link,” says Smart.

    Buzzfeed reported in January that Family Tree DNA, one of the largest genetic testing companies in the country, regularly allowed FBI agents to search its database in order to solve crimes. Following criticism from privacy advocates, Family Tree DNA allowed customers to opt-out of sharing information with law enforcement. Law enforcement regularly uploads the genetic data of victims of a homicide case or perpetrator of sexual assault or homicide. If customers agree to participate in law enforcement matching, law enforcement will be notified if a customer is a familial match to the uploaded file of a victim or criminal. Customers who used a competing service like AncestryDNA or 23andMe can also upload their DNA data to FamilyTree DNA and agree to law enforcement matching.

    1. WTF

      Learn to love Big Brother!

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      eh, Family Tree is the only one that’s being upfront about it and asking for permission. Otherwise, they do not allow access without a warrant.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Under the city’s charter, the Park Board has authority to name and rename its realty.

    I read that as “rename its REALITY” and didn’t even blink.

    1. Festus

      You are learning the ways of the Future! Go forth and shit-post, Young Glibertarian!

  36. AlexinCT

    Everyone should educate themselves by reading: “Spygate: The Inside Story Behind the Alleged Plot to Take Down Trump“.

  37. Rebel Scum

    Moar Euro-fascism

    The European Union has decreed – fatwa’d – that beginning with the 2022 model year, all new cars shall be electronically gelded, forced by software to hew to every speed limit, all the time. The same software – and hardware – that probably two-thirds of all new cars sold here already have – merely awaiting activation.

    Helpful, convenient GPS mapping – so much easier than having to read and handle a paper map, as people used to.

    Helpful, convenient “driver assists” – such as the little cameras that enable your car to automatically brake itself when those electronic eyes see another car up ahead, moving more slowly than your car. These cameras also see – and know, via the GPS mapping data, updated regularly – what the speed limit is on every road you drive.

    And the car knows exactly how fast you are driving, in real time – all the time.

    See the helpful little icon on the touchscreen? The one that looks just like a speed limit sign? Watch it change from 45 to 35, as the speed limit on the road you’re driving on changes. Now watch as it turns angry red, to warn you that you are driving faster – even if only by 1 MPH – than the posted speed limit.

    For now, it is just a warning.

    In Europe, it’s soon to be the cue for the car to slow itself down, whether you want to or not.

    “Intelligent Speed Assist” will cut throttle – over which you have no real control, since the throttle is controlled by the car’s computer and not by your right foot, no matter how furiously you mash the accelerator pedal. Which is really just a throttle input sensor – “drive by wire” – which transmits data about how far down you have pushed the pedal, sends the data to the ECU – the computer that is in control of the engine – which then decides how much to rev the engine.

    It can decide to not rev it at all.

    And beginning in 2022, it will do just that.

    “Speeding” will be countermanded at a stroke – for your saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafety, of course.

    1. WTF

      Any program can be disabled.

    2. wdalasio

      And of course nobody ever goes over the speed limit out of a need to avoid a catastrophic crash. This bit of idiocy is going to get people killed. Hopefully, members of the Eurabian Parliament.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      I can hardly wait until someone hacks the system and sets the speed limit to be 0.

      Maybe they will get lucky and the hacker will be a libertarian and they will set the speed limit to be 999. Then the Second Great Libertarian Moment will be upon us (the First GLM was the day of the blink tag at TOS).

      1. Jarflax

        I can hardly wait until someone hacks the system and sets the speed limit to be 0.

        Someone is going to do this, and then we will get to watch them be tried for Murder, because someone is going to die as a result, either from a wreck caused by a sudden slow down, or just because the ensuing traffic jam will delay ambulances.

        1. wdalasio

          As I say above, you don’t even need a hacker to have someone die as a result of this law. People sometimes break the speed limit for valid reasons. Sometimes they do it to avoid a crash. Stopping that means the crash will happen.

      2. hate_speech

        No hacking needed, just fuck with a speed limit sign. Any teenager can sabotage this.

        1. Sean

          If you changed the sign to zero, would the car just stop?

          1. hate_speech

            There’s only one way to know for sure….

            I imagine eventually it’s going to be part of the map data the car uses.

      3. R C Dean

        Hack the car to put the transmission in neutral and redline the engine until it seizes up or runs out of gas.

      4. robc

        I am disappointed that the glib board doesnt allow the blink tag here on the anniversary of the greatest day in history.

      5. Gadfly

        Not zero, the better hack would be to set it at something extremely low – like 3mph or so. That way there would be no mistaking what happened, and I also think a lot of people would be more frustrated by a car that could only go 3mph than by a car that can’t go anywhere at all. It’s like the difference between being thirsty in a desert or in an ocean – just like the sight of water you can’t drink is more maddening than no water at all, the ability to drive but not go anywhere would be more maddening than the inability to drive at all.

    4. Tundra

      Your new Porsche 911 becomes the functional equivalent of an ’86 Yugo – since neither can go faster than the other.

      It always comes down to envy.

    5. robc

      If the speed limit changes from 45 to 35 (which no road should ever have as a speed limit anyway*), then the design of the road should change to cause you naturally to slow down.

      Road should be designed for the speed limit. If you are having to force people to slow down, you done designed wrong.

      *less than 25 or greater than 55. There might be a very limited case for 45. Maybe. 35 is right out. Streets should be 25 or below, roads should be 55 or above.

      1. Gadfly

        I’ve seen you ride this hobby-horse multiple times, and it always puzzles me. In my experience it is most efficient to have 3 classes of roads – slow (<25), medium (35-45), and fast (55+). Without the medium roads, you would either have greater congestion or more accidents, as the medium roads serve the purpose of allowing people to enter the road and also travel along it at a decent speed. Where I live we have lots of nice large boulevards in the 35-45 range that allow people to travel through town and pull off into businesses, and this works very well.

        1. Yep, put me in the dont get it camp. There are plenty of 2 mile diameter subdivisions around here that aren’t easily bypassed. Having to crawl through them at 25 would suck.

          There are also 1.5 mile+ strips of retail. 55 would never be respected due to the turnoffs, and 25 would never be respects due to the length of the corridor.

  38. Festus

    OT – this is what people in our town used to do for fun before this happened and it got shut down. It started about forty years ago with people skiing down the cutbanks and went a little out of control.https://youtu.be/KX0eTtBV3zc

    1. Festus

      ETA – now it’s just a lame cancer fundraising walk up and down the hill for fat do-gooders. If that’s not a symptom of our society’s fall into complacence then I don’t know what is. Sandblast was never as crazy as Cheese wheeling but it was the essence of this city.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    No pocket left behind

    New York on Thursday sued the billionaire family behind OxyContin, joining a growing list of state and local governments alleging the drugmaker sparked the nation’s opioid crisis by putting hunger for profits over patient safety.

    The state, which averages nine opioid-related deaths per day, amended an existing lawsuit against pill maker Purdue Pharma to add members of its controlling Sackler family as defendants. The state also added as defendants five other companies that produce opioid painkillers and, in what New York Attorney General Letitia James called a novelty, four drug distributors.

    “This is an extensive lawsuit that leaves no stone unturned,” James, a Democrat, said at a news conference.

    The lawsuit seeks penalties and damages that could add up to tens of millions of dollars and a dedicated fund to curb the opioid epidemic. It also seeks to have the companies stripped of their licenses and barred from marketing and distributing painkillers in New York until they abide by strict safeguards.

    Justice. It’s all about justice.

    1. wdalasio

      Why not just get Letitia James a leather corset and fishnets. Because only a two-bit sadistic dominatrix wannabe gets their rocks off denying people the means to relieve extreme pain.

      1. Chipwooder

        leather corset and fishnets

        Go on……

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I’d love to see the data behind the stat that there are 9 opioid deaths a day.

      My PO dad used to bitch about that shit. One of the parts of his pre-sentence investigation would be to check off a list of “factors” for each crime. So if the guy had bought a lottery ticket with some of the loot he stole it would be marked as a “gambling” crime. My guess is that anybody who croaks and has some opioid in their blood, gets marked down as an opioid related death. Even if they were run down in the street.

      1. B.P.

        Or, you know, died from the horrible affliction that was causing the pain that required the opioids.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      James is a piece of work. This is the same State’s Attorney who vowed to get Trump and his entire family for unspecified crimes.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Helpful, convenient “driver assists” – such as the little cameras that enable your car to automatically brake itself when those electronic eyes see another car up ahead, moving more slowly than your car. These cameras also see – and know, via the GPS mapping data, updated regularly – what the speed limit is on every road you drive.

    Just one of the reasons the “newest” vehicle I own is from the 1991 model year,

    1. It’s getting more difficult to buy a car w/o a touch screen. I’ve been lucky so far.

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            The rear cargo area features troop-style jump seats for six and is separated from the front compartment with a cage divider.

            Sounds like the perfect family vehicle.

          2. Tundra

            I love it. Auction is over next week. I’m really curious where it ends up.

          3. B.P.

            Holee shit. That thing is awesome.

            Also, that website just caused my checking account to turtle. I like the BMW 3.0 CS. Current bid $40K.

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I am so tempted.

          5. Tundra

            You would get more attention with that than the Porsche.

    2. Sean

      I have no problem with these features on my 2018. I have disabled the lane assist though. The main road I drive is multicolored from patches over the years and messes with the feature.

      I do, however, feel like the nanny systems coming out now where they have a camera watching the driver is a bridge too far for me and will probably have me staying in my current car a long while.

      Stuff like this, I find amazing: https://jalopnik.com/watch-how-audis-new-active-suspension-lifts-up-to-prote-1820213196

      The suspension actually helps position the car to better absorb collisions.

      1. Festus

        Lane assist would be of no help where I live because the fucking Greenies made the line-painters switch to latex based paint. Our lane markings last for about three months and have to be re-done every summer. Bitches complain about pollutants from petroleum based markings on an asphalt surface. I drove home the other night in a thick fog and the center line and ditch were pretty much guesswork.

        1. Rebel Scum

          pollutants from petroleum based markings on an asphalt surface

          Because there is no petroleum in asphalt…

          1. Jarflax

            These are the same people who demand zero emissions electricity but then block nuclear plants. The ones who want to save the earth by powering everything with batteries that are made of the most toxic chemicals imaginable and charged at the end of a delivery system that loses 80% of the power to resistance rather than burn petroleum. They Fucking Love Science.

        2. AlexinCT

          Some family of someone that gets injured or killed should sue the people that did this and the people behind the move to do this for everything. Maybe then this stupid shit will stop.

          1. Festus

            Province wide. In the lower mainland they might see a couple of feet of snow over a winter. Up here those lines are gone by December and won’t be back until July or August. It’s a pretty sweet Golden Gate Bridge angle that they’ve managed to parlay for themselves in the name of saving the planet. The funniest part is that the guide marks from a decade ago (using the evil, old, out of touch paint) are still there.

        3. Pope Jimbo

          Fear not, the govt will soon be here to help!

          A side gig of mine involves a product to help municipalities comply with an (unfunded) Federal mandate that all signs be tested for reflectiviity. The rollout has been an utter disaster because the costs of doing it are very high.

          Anyhow, the rumor in the reflectivity world is that once signs are finally conquered the next target will be lane markings. Municipalities will be required to measure and manage the reflectivity of their stripes.

    3. I’ve got a 2000 Chevy Silverado. The speedo has what I consider an anti-speeding feature where it reads about five to seven MPH faster than the truck’s actually moving.

    4. B.P.

      I have a 1975, a 1999, a 2006, and a 2007. Just got rid of a 1997. None of my vehicles have any sort of camera or other “driver assist.” I may never buy another vehicle.

      1. MikeS

        ^ this. I have a 2009 Silverado that I hope will last me for a couple decades. And even if it doesn’t, I really don’t think I would replace it with anything newer than this.

        1. B.P.

          Yep. And even despite Cash for Clunkers, the land is filled with older-model vehicles that aren’t larded up with supposedly helpful spyware.

  41. Tundra

    Could one of you lawyer types decipher this for me?

    California Cops Who Allegedly Stole Over $225,000 Can’t Be Sued, Federal Court Rules

    Moreover, although the Ninth Circuit did concede that “any theft by police officers—most certainly the theft of over $225,000—is undoubtedly deeply disturbing” and that the officers “ought to have recognized that the alleged theft of Appellants’ money and rare coins would be improper,” the court still concluded that Fresno police “did not have clear notice that [alleged stealing] violated the Fourth Amendment” and “could not have known that their actions violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s substantive due process clause.”

    “At the time of the incident,” Judge Smith wrote, “there was no clearly established law holding that officers violate the Fourth or Fourteenth Amendment when they steal property that is seized pursuant to a warrant.”

    So FYTW?

    1. Jarflax

      Cops are like dogs. Dogs always get one free bite because until they have had that free bite it is literally impossible for the dog’s owner to know the dog is vicious and needs to be controlled. Cops have qualified immunity, which means that until a court rules that some specific act violates the Constitution the police are immune from suit for that act. Obviously it is totally unfair to allow the cop to be sued for something that has not previously been declared outside their immunity. I mean, the cop totally wouldn’t have stolen that stuff if they had known stealing was wrong.

      1. commodious spittoon

        if they had known stealing was wrong violates the victim’s civil rights

        That we need case law to demonstrate what the Fourth Amendment makes explicit seems… backward. But IANAL.

      2. leon

        As Michael Malice says: wherever you are in the world, if you find the cops, you will have found the dumbest people in the area.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sounds like the 9th is begging for some vigilante justice, and the way they’re going, they might actually get it.

    3. Rebel Scum

      The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

      It’s as ambiguous as “shall not be infringed”.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        But… but… deference!

        Fuck Scalia’s corpse with a rusty pitchfork.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Much bold. How justice.

    Facebook, which already blocks white supremacy posts, announced a ban Wednesday on content supporting white nationalism or separatism.

    Starting next week, Facebook and Instagram will remove posts and comments that praise or support white nationalism.

    “It’s clear that these concepts are deeply linked to organized hate groups and have no place on our services, ” the company said in a post titled “Standing Against Hate.”

    The social network said it hadn’t banned expressions of white nationalism because it was considering the broader scope of the concept, like separatism and pride. However, after conferring with race relations experts, Facebook decided that the rationale it applies to white supremacy also should apply to white nationalism, due to the company’s long-standing policy against hate speech on race, ethnicity or religion.

    “Race relations experts” you say? I wonder who that could be.

    1. wdalasio

      Notably, it’s not a universal ban on ethno-nationalism. I guess some supremacists are more equal than others.

      1. Jarflax

        We are going to have a civil war within the next 30 years and I would give any odds you want that afterwards we get a Napoleon not another Washington.

        1. Festus

          First we get Robespierre.

          1. wdalasio

            That’s just it, though. Once you have Robespierre, Bonapart is a fait accompli. There’s a wall that separates us from the Hobbesian dystopia. But, Hobbes was wrong. It’s not really the Leviathan. Ultimately, Leviathan can only operate in a world that is already mostly peaceful and ordered. It’s a rudimentary sense of reciprocity. We don’t break down that wall because we don’t want to live in the world where that wall doesn’t exist. But, that wall has been being chipped away at by the left (and, yes, it is the left driving this). They think they can tear down that wall to their own advantage, yet somehow, magically, it will be in place. It won’t.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            This. Leviathan doesn’t tame men’s baser instincts, culture does.

            When you break down that culture, you unleash Hell.

          3. robc

            You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

        2. Raphael

          Is this gonna be the part where if we survive, we leave and form Glibertopia?

          1. Tundra

            Turks and Caicos for me. I’ll be too old to fight and too cynical to care.

          2. Jarflax

            If Glibertopia is a land populated by Glibs, this is Glibertopia after the Civil War.

        3. wdalasio

          That’s not a bet I’d care to take at any odds.

      2. leon

        “. I guess some supremacists are more equal than others.”

        No. Some supremacists are Superior to others, duh.

    2. Festus

      On Thursday morning while perusing Youtube I noted that my sidebar videos disappeared after I watched a pretty tame Styhexenhammer vid. My feeds were the same but I had to return to the homepage.

    3. leon

      “separatism”

      God forbid we let them go away. We have to keep the bad man here so we can reeducate him.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. I wouldn’t ban black nationalist/separatists if I was FB either. Mostly because I wouldn’t want to have to read their long rambling screeds about how FaceBook was originally invented by a black man and then stolen by whitey. And now whitey is banning them.

        *Spent too much time in Memphis State dorms having to listen to nonsense like that.

        1. Festus

          They wuz Kangz! Stop bogarting that, my friend…

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Bold

    Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar announced a “bold, trillion-dollar plan” Thursday to address a litany of infrastructure issues that she plans to make her “top budget priority,” should she be elected president in 2020.
    “This responds to what we’re seeing all over our nation: crumbling infrastructure, you see people in traffic jams, and really there’s been no major investment for years,” Klobuchar said in an interview with CNN’s Suzanne Malveaux.
    The plan, she said, included a number of bipartisan ideas to finance it.

    “We’re not broke. We’ve got plenty of checks.”

    1. CPRM

      Shovel ready.

      1. Festus

        “Shovel Ready” and Socialism together in one sentence gives one pause.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    The seven-point proposal places a tight focus on the country’s transportation system, which Klobuchar says she plans to turn into a “world-class” system that will better serve low-income communities and communities of color. It calls for the repairing and replacing of roads, highways and bridges, as well as an expansion of public transportation and the creation of high-speed rail systems.

    It’s like buzzword bingo in there.

    1. Tundra

      More fucking choo-choos. How innovative!

    2. Pope Jimbo

      If I have to listen to the panhandler on the freeway exit ramp bitch about the lack of high speed rail between Minneapolis and Chicago one more time.

      How do we expect poor people to go on vacation if we don’t have accessible mass transit?

      1. Festus

        Black folk don’t Camp. The Wapo told me so.

  45. Raston Bot

    Dankula’s latest Mad Lads…

    ROOF KOREANS!

    fuck yeah

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pwl4pvr300

    1. Raston Bot

      So what happens when a group of people come under attack.. and this group are all trained because they did their mandatory military service back in Korea.. and then you sprinkle in a little touch of the 2nd Amendment? You get Roof Koreans.”

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I remember David Joo. The guy is a legend.

    2. Festus

      I linked that last weekend. The guy’s series is pretty good.

  46. Fatty Bolger

    Mom arrested after throwing pizza at restaurant owner because she was ‘unsatisfied with the service’

    Syeda Saleem, 28, from New Port Richey, Florida was charged with one count of battery for throwing cheese pizza on Friday at Fatos Cala, 44, the owner of Olivia’s Subs & Pizza, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

    A complaint affidavit sent to Yahoo Lifestyle by the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office stated that police found Cala’s chest and head “covered in tomato sauce.”

    Saleem told police officers that she was “unsatisfied with the service” after ordering a margarita pizza for herself and her son and receiving a plain cheese pie. The mom complained to Cala, who sprinkled basil on the pizza, but the food made her son vomit.

    Claiming the cheese was rotten, Saleem asked Cala for a refund. However, she said Cala instead shouted racial slurs, including, “Go back to your country.” The mom admitted that she threw the pizza but it only hit Cala because he was standing in the way.

    Cala told Yahoo Lifestyle that he didn’t make derogatory comments, saying, “I am an immigrant myself.”

    Odds that her son ends up in a “Florida Man” article someday?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      but it only hit Cala because he was standing in the way.

      worked for the Simpsons.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/4jlFKJJbv6jLO/giphy.gif

  47. Pope Jimbo

    CYCLE SCIENCE BITCHES!!!!!

    More than half of car drivers look at cyclists as not being completely human, according to a new study from Australian researchers.

    That dehumanization of cyclists may explain why some drivers direct hostility and aggression — often dangerously — at cyclists, the researchers say.

    * One of the researches suggestions is to stop using the term “cyclist” because that others people who “ride bikes”.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Most who have road-biked for any period of time can relate stories of asshole drivers who try to run them into ditches, etc… myself included.

      There’s a lot of fucked up people out there.

      1. Chipwooder

        True. There are also a lot of people on bikes who ride like assholes, though.

        1. I get annoyed at bicyclists who are tooling around at old person Sunday cruise speeds when there’s a line of cars behind them on a 40 MPH road, but whatever, it’s their right to be inconsiderate. What I actually get mad about is when bikes go from sidewalk to street and back, or when they cruise through red lights. It’s the ones who flagrantly break traffic laws and seem to think they’ve got every right to do so that bother me. Thing is, no cop in my area is going to pull them over because, unless they’re also on a bike, the bicyclist is well away by the time the cop can get a clear lane. Besides, mostly they just don’t care.

          1. Tonio

            If I go from street to sidewalk it’s to get out of the way of traffic. But I don’t just bounce back into traffic; I slow/stop, look, and re-enter traffic lanes only when clear of vehicles, or there is enough of a gap to get me past the intersection, etc.

          2. Nephilium

            When I’m riding, the times I go up on sidewalks are to hit the buttons to trigger the light to change. Then get back into the street to wait for it.

        2. MikeS

          Absolutely, but using your 5000lb, 65mph missile to fuck with every cyclist you see because one prick, 3 years ago, was taking up too much of the lane is grade A asshole. Big time.

          1. Tonio

            If you’re cycling in anything over a 25 mph zone you’re cray-cray.

          2. MikeS

            Not all of us live in a city.

            Up here in the middle of nowhere, riding on the 2 lane highways is a thing. The traffic is very light, and occasionally there is even a nice shoulder to ride on. The vast majority of vehicles that do come upon you will just drift into the opposite lane to keep a safe buffer as they whiz by. Occasionally, some uber-asshole will come up on you who refuses to leave the lane. Veering into the ditch then becomes a prudent choice.

      2. leon

        I’ve only done it a little, but almost every time I’ll find people who refuse to understand that I have to get into the left lane to make that left turn, so please let me over. And the people who just don’t know what signals mean.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’ve had bottles thrown at me, people jamming on their horn right behind me for no reason, swerving to run me off the road, etc… And I was always well within the law.

          The funny part is I’ve mostly biked in Baltimore and San Diego. In Baltimore, you just worry about the guy who bum rushes you to steal your bike or the car door that opens unexpectedly. In San Diego, even though you have bike lanes and more space to ride, the drivers are downright psychopathic.

    2. Brochettaward

      Cyclists are definitely on the list of people I want genocided.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        As long as we are clear that there are cyclists and bike riders, I might be on board.

        I like riding my bike (at least when OMWC and SP haven’t stolen it) and do my best to get along with all the other people out there. I get that bike riding isn’t the most efficient mode of transportation and try to stay out of the way of people driving cars. When it makes sense, I’d like to do things to make bikes and cars co-exist (like bike lanes). But I also understand that some routes should be car only and shouldn’t be fucked up by putting a bike lane in.

        Cyclists are the assholes who think that everything should be done to make their lives as easy as possible. They are the jerks who think that the way to win over the public is to have a Critical Mass ride and fuck up peoples’ commutes. Or to demand that gas tax money go to build fancy bike lanes everywhere.

        1. MikeS

          Bike riders unite!

          *fist bump*

        2. Nephilium

          Fuck the Critical Mass assholes with a poop knife. If your entire concept of making things better is to make everything shitty for everyone else… huh, I wonder what the overlap between far left wing assholes and Critical Mass riders is.

        3. Festus

          Y’know, when I used to ride a lot I’d avoid the main thouroughfares and take side streets so that I wouldn’t get squished like a bug. It’s that entitled attitude that makes most folk want to run us down just for shiggles.

    3. wdalasio

      More than half of car drivers look at cyclists as not being completely human

      Omitted from this is how cyclists treat everybody else. Don’t know about the rest of the country, but in New York, the cyclists are the most downright obnoxious participants in the traffic patters. Cars will respect pedestrians. Cyclists will expect them to get out of the way. When the pedestrian has the right of way. Cyclists will expect cars to treat them as vehicles. Right up until the point they decide to ride on the sidewalk.

    4. leon

      The problem is that drivers think they are the only valid vehicle on the road and cyclists think they can ignore inconvenient traffic laws.

      1. ^This. Granted, you’re describing two small subsets of two groups of people who normally behave perfectly well, but for the bad apples this is about right.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        While there are cyclists who are dicks, you don’t have to be one for some prick in a panel van to try and run you over for funsies.

        1. Brochettaward

          This is like dressing up like a whore and standing on a street corner and complaining when some guy offers you $10 for a hand job.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            There’s a reason why I quit road-biking, even though I loved riding.

            It was a woman in a minivan with three kids and a broken arm talking on a cell phone while driving down the middle of the bike lane. I just came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to die.

          2. hate_speech

            My road bike was my primary transport for like 6 years. Too many near death experiences, and I finally lost my nerve.

            Got my bike all fixed up before moving to Raleigh, put clip in pedals on it and everything. Figured I’d get back in shape again, and I used to love just riding around, so it would be a fun way to explore my new home.

            Then I drove on the roads in Raleigh. There is no fucking way I’m riding a bike on these streets. These people have to be in the running for worst drivers on the planet. My co-worker was telling me he was in an Uber with a bangladeshi driver, and *that* guy was saying the driving here is the worst he’s ever seen.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I managed to get run off the road by a tank one time.

            It was on Camp Pendleton, which I was cutting through on my way up to San Clemente.

          4. MikeS

            I managed to get run off the road by a tank one time.

            That’s impressive. I now have a goal.

          5. hate_speech

            Well at least that makes for a good story. All I’ve got is, somebody took a right without using a blinker and I was traveling at ~30 mph and forced to cut inside their turn and go down the same street as them, only to find a UPS truck pulled over for a delivery. Fuck me, I have no idea how I got out of that without a crash.

          6. Scruffy Nerfherder

            It would probably be hard to repeat now with all of the extra security on military bases. Can’t just ride through them anymore.

          7. Oh man, that reminds me of when we’d skip school and go wander around the Naval Academy, just like strolling around, seeing which doors were open, hanging out at the ice rink, stuff like that. They didn’t have security at the gates in those days. I mean, they did, but they were mostly there to give people directions.

          8. B.P.

            Okay Scruffy, here’s one. My nephew is a mechanic in the Reserves in Kentucky and works on tanks. One day his crew were out on a side road with an Abrams they had just worked on, putting it through the paces. A Corvette comes up behind it and starts revving the engine, honking, etc. The tankers goosed the exhaust and scorched all the paint on the hood. The driver is screaming mad and pulls into the base. He eventually gets to screaming at some sort of ranking CO, who explains to the guy that no tanks from the base ever go out on the public roads.

        2. R C Dean

          Well, you have to admit it is kind of fun.

          1. Nephilium

            Until you see the aftermath of a van taking out three riders on a charity ride.

          2. hate_speech

            Not cyclists, but I remember one day I was heading home on the backroads I used to take, and there were cops at the end of the road directing traffic. I slowed down trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. He waved me onto the road, so I went, only to find myself driving through a foot race! What the fuck! There was nowhere to turn around either, it was several miles of just driving through all these joggers while they screamed at us. It was like driving through an Antifa rally.

            People were understandably pissed. I have no idea what the cop was doing. Wasn’t he supposed to keep me out?

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            LOL. I got stuck in the middle of the Hillcrest Gay Pride Parade one time. I just smiled and waved a lot until I could turn off the street.

          4. That’s a very lazy (IMO, evil) cop right there. Cops are supposed to let you cross the course, not turn onto it.

          5. hate_speech

            I agree Trashy. He must have been pissed at the race organizers or something. He was probably waiting all afternoon for a car to actually come down that road (I like it because it was a straight shot with nobody on it, so the unofficial speed limit was whatever you want). He just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to fuck with all of them, safety be damned.

          6. He must have been pissed at the race organizers or something.

            I have no clue why. The cops get paid pretty well for that service.

          7. commodious spittoon

            I can’t remember who it was, but some shitlord I listened to this week talked about doing Hand Across America with his mom when he was young. He thought it was pretty dumb, but then some bearded dude came to their little segment of the demonstration and told the line, “Okay, we’re going to need you all to step out into the road.” Gave every sign of being an organizer, or something. Everyone steps out into the road. Then the guy darts away, leaving everyone to scramble out of oncoming traffic.

          8. MikeS

            “Okay, we’re going to need you all to step out into the road.”

            WTF? Some serial killer getting his kicks in-between kills?

          9. Gadfly

            @commodious spittoon
            That was one of the Red Letter Media guys who told that story. I found it hilarious.

          10. R C Dean

            I’m joking, dude. What I don’t like about bike lanes and bike commuters generally isn’t the annoyance, its how dangerous it is for them. I actually change my regular commuting route to avoid the more dangerous intersections for bikers (and also to avoid school zones) because I seriously don’t want to hit anyone.

          11. Nephilium

            No offense taken man. Just a bad memory from a ride, driver was cresting a hill, drifted across the center lane, almost hit someone who then had to swerve to the right to avoid the accident. That person who swerved clipped some cyclists. The asshole who caused the issue by drifting left of center just kept going. Thankfully the only injuries in this one were only broken bones.

          12. R C Dean

            Yeah, its shit like that what makes me think I should get a dashcam. Tucson has some truly horrifyingly bad drivers. The mix of old people, college students, and (yeah, I’m going there) Mexicans who drive with a sort of third-world panache makes this town worse than Chicago or Boston (my previous contenders for “worst towns to drive in).

          13. Nephilium

            R C Dean: It’s one of the reasons I don’t like riding with a group. Riding solo, I can make sure I’ve got room to go to the right and go at my own pace. I don’t need to ride in a peloton, I’m not going to be in a race, and trusting random cyclists to be able to ride that close seems like a terrible idea to me.

        3. wdalasio

          I’m sure that’s true. The problem is the cultural perception of cyclists is formed by the dicks. And, sorry to have to say, there’s a real perception that cyclist culture is dominated by the dicks.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Sane people don’t continue to road-bike for very long. It’s the fear of death thing that comes on sometime in your twenties.

          2. Annapolis is supposed to be “bike-friendly”. There are bike lanes, the city runs a rental bike service, stuff like that. I wouldn’t ride a bike around here for love or money. The streets are too narrow, so even if people aren’t about to run you over it’s really difficult to not hold traffic up for drivers, and once you give up the lane you’re not getting back into it.

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            “bike-friendly”

            I’ve never seen that outside of Bermuda.

          4. Festus

            It’s not just a perception (former cyclist).

    5. R C Dean

      One of the researches suggestions is to stop using the term “cyclist” because that others people who “ride bikes”.

      But they are fine othering people who drive cars by calling them “car drivers”.

      1. Festus

        Auto-cucks.

      2. Tonio

        And cyclist is already a problem term since some motorcyclists use the term from themselves to avoid the “biker” stigma.

    6. Nephilium

      Are we not men? We are MAMIL’s!

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        Fake news! Dudes legs aren’t even shaved. Does have “I ❤ beer” socks on though. mmm

    7. ChipsnSalsa

      Does this make me part of a victim class now?

      1. Festus

        Follow the money!

    8. A Leap at the Wheel

      I used to think that cyclist should be given all the same respect as car-drivers. Then I started interacting with them on the road.

      1. There was–might still be, actually–a guy who ran a horse-and-buggy service thing in town. His horse stayed at a farm about two miles out of the downtown area, and he’d hook the carriage up to the horse and drive it right down a busy two-lane street through town until he got downtown. He’d give tourists rides for the day, then some time at night he’d drive the thing right back home. At a moderate walk. Besides the horse looking miserable, this fucked traffic up for a good hour in a four-mile radius. But, he had a permit, the carriage had tags, and it was all perfectly legal.

        It’s not fair and I freely admit that, but I view bicyclists in a similar light.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Black folk don’t Camp. The Wapo told me so.

    That’s only because Evul Whitey won’t let them.

    1. Festus

      The CBC said the same thing at about the same time. Do you think that maybe they get their talking points from the same sources? Perish the thought! After all, Darkness dies in Democracy! (or something pithy like that)

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      In fairness, I don’t think I’ve ever seen blacks camping.

      My brother took in a black family from his church because they were about to lose their home. He took the father fishing out in the sticks and he said the guy was getting jumpy from being out in the country. The guy said he gets the same feeling in the country that we would in the inner city. The guy was from East St. Louis and had done time for manslaughter, so it’s not like he was some shrinking violet. So apparently fear of the outdoors is a thing for a certain segment of blacks.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Deliverance is a documentary they show in the ghetto.

        1. Festus

          *No Bruthas were harmed in the production of this film* Theory fails the water test.

      2. Festus

        Eh. It’s probably seen as a whypipo thang like dockers and brunch.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          When I camp, I bring plenty of sweaters and mayo.

          1. R C Dean

            Cardigans, I hope. And don’t forget the high-waisted pants.

    3. Rhywun

      Even in the south? At least in the north, most blacks are “urban”. Not so in the south from what I hear.

      1. MikeS

        I wonder the same. Many blacks go fishing in rural areas, so why not camping?

        I know fishing doesn’t lead to camping, but fishing typically shows a comfortableness and fondness of the outdoors, so it seems like there’d be a large overlap in those two groups of people.

        1. Nephilium

          Urban areas as well. You go along the breakwall in Cleveland on a nice day, you’ll see a shit ton of people fishing off of it (hoping for perch, but mainly getting carp and sheephead). You’ll see about a 50/50 split of black and white fishing there.

          1. Rhywun

            In NYC it’s almost universally south-of-the-border types. They also like to set traps.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    One of the researches suggestions is to stop using the term “cyclist” because that others people who “ride bikes”.

    RENAME YOUR REALITY!

  50. Rhywun

    Didn’t the whole Yellow Vest thing get set off by a Save Gaia With This One More Tax last straw?

    Yes, but it took all of about a week for the far-left to hijack it.

    1. Festus

      *up-twinkles*

  51. AlmightyJB

    You have 6 years 27 days 5 minutes and 12 seconds left to live.

    https://www.livescience.com/65087-ai-premature-death-prediction.html

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Scientists recently trained an AI system to evaluate a decade of general health data submitted by more than half a million people in the United Kingdom. Then, they tasked the AI with predicting if individuals were at risk of dying prematurely — in other words, sooner than the average life expectancy — from chronic disease, they reported in a new study.

      I guarantee they will use this to deny treatment to those with a shorter life expectancy on the grounds of curbing costs.

      1. R C Dean

        Yup. As I remind people around here periodically who say anything nice about the NHS, Britain does not have health care. Its has “public health”. Public health is about managing populations to hit certain collective targets, not about taking care of sick people. The NHS runs experiments on the population of Britain in order to hit those targets. Taking care of sick people is subordinate and incidental.

        I interviewed somebody once who turned the job down because her husband (a high-powered MD) got a gig with the NHS. She scoffed when I told her what the NHS was really about, but when they came back a couple years later she told me I was right. ObamaCare, BTW, tried to set us on the road to “population health management”, which is the same thing. I’m not sure yet whether it succeeded.

        1. MikeS

          I wish the adults would have discussed this before the O-Care vote. Instead, the discussion was who was crazier; those who believed there’d be “Death Panels” or those who didn’t.

        2. blighted_non_millenial

          Population health management is baked into big emr systems.

          1. R C Dean

            Also the new ICD-10 coding system, which was adopted solely to feed data for pop health. It does nothing for either patient care or billing, and the industry spent billions implementing it.

    2. LJW

      Sweet beating the AOC estimate!

  52. Creosote Achilles

    Prog Tears are delicious.

    Developer Gets One Over

    Lefty Portland rag whines that a developer isn’t hiring union cleaners for their newly developed tower and that they pulled a fast one. Actual story is that the city has a height limit for buildings based on total sq. footage. But graciously allows developers to purchase unused sq footage from city owned properties that aren’t using all of theirs. When this developer decided to do that, the city also tacked on an extra requirement that the building owners hire only unionized cleaners. The developer says ‘Okay, sure, you betcha.’ Then tell the tennants to hire whoever they want to clean so they aren’t doing the hiring and the requirement doesn’t apply. The howls of outrage from the union thugs are hilarious.

    1. wdalasio

      From the article:

      the property sit fallow for so many years it had earned a nickname: “the Moyer Hole,” after owner Tom Moyer, Sturgeon’s grandfather.

      So, it wasn’t good enough that Sturgeon was building up a derelict property. It wasn’t good enough that she was actually paying for the privilege of doing so. No, they have to tack on extra rules shaking the developer down still further. Good on her.

    2. R C Dean

      Commercial tenants at Park Avenue West would hire their own non-union cleaners and the agreement did not explicitly prohibit that.

      That’s actually pretty standard. Landlords don’t need the hassle of being in the middle of tenants and cleaning crews. Every hospital system I have ever worked with has a large real estate operation, mostly to lease medical office space. We never hired the cleaners to work on tenant space, and used hospital employees to keep up with common areas.

      Bonus bullshit:

      i

      t demonstrates how the city gives away millions of dollars worth of value to developers

      It “gives away” value by waiving or modifying its own rules. But, as the courts have made crystal clear, those rules don’t take away value (that would have to be paid for as a taking), so if they don’t take value when impose, I don’t see how they give value when waived.

    3. Rhywun

      I honestly don’t get why the left is so in bed with unions. They claim to want to help “the poor” but that is not the goal of these unions, at all.

      1. Festus

        Hey now! I’m a proud member of the UFCW! The Undocumented Foreign Colored Women! I could give a hang about the union, my sub-contracts got rolled into a larger entity but they kept me on at a day rate just because they were desperate. I work four hours a night in the summer and seven in the winter at union scale.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    From our old friends at Jezebel

    Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is launching an investigation into whether or not a corporation that peddles fried chicken partially in order to fund an anti-LGBT agenda has a constitutional right to set up shop in a San Antonio airport because that’s where we are right now in the annals of history.

    ——–

    In a news release on Thursday, Paxton argued that since the airport receives federal funding, prohibiting Chick-fil-A from earning money that will be used for discrimination is also discriminatory. My head hurts.

    “Equal protection? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

    1. The leftist obsession with Chick-fil-A has been one of the business generators for the company. Over the past 5 years it has evolved into the official hangout spot for every church I’ve ever attended.

    2. Jezebel exists so that people have somewhere to progress after they’ve outgrown Blogger.

    3. R C Dean

      a corporation that peddles fried chicken partially in order to fund an anti-LGBT agenda

      I thought it was the owner using his own money to promote his social/political views.

      I also take issue with the assertion that Chick-Fil-A’s purpose is to fund an agenda. If that’s the way it works, then anyone who donates to a candidate has a job “partially in order to support Candidate X”. I don’t think that’s the way it works.

      1. Festus

        I thought it was the idea of selling tasty food and returning money to the shareholders while keeping thousands of people gainfully employed but what the fuck would I know?

  54. The Late P Brooks

    I guarantee they will use this to deny treatment to those with a shorter life expectancy on the grounds of curbing costs.

    “Everybody dies. Stop whining. Next.”

    1. MikeS

      But I’m not dead yet!

      You will be soon.

      1. Festus

        We’re not quite there yet but it’s edging. After my last run-in with our health system I’ve decided that unless it’s a fracture or a gushing wound I’ll never see another Doctor again.