I promised we would all get to see the results of the Glibertarian survey from last week, to answer a question that one member of the editing staff posed.
Lets just say, somebody owes somebody else $1. Now the results, based off 309 total respondents:
Question #1: Are you libertarian?
95% of respondents answered in the affirmative. Which given a certain statistic (98%) by a certain individual, whom we will call “Michael Hihn”, suggests there are at least 14,308 libertarians out there that reject the label. Are the respondents really libertarian? Is there a way we can determine this? Yes. With this purity test…
Question #2: If yes [to question #1], choose the statement you most agree with.
An overwhelming 85% of respondents chose the two statements that most closely align with the “correct” libertarian position on regulating Google. Correct, from a purely doctrinal standpoint. One’s opinion on this topic in particular might vary to some degree, which is the reason behind a second correct answer. One of the responses cited a specific tenet of libertarian philosophy: private property rights. The other took a basic NAP approach but perhaps left a possibility for one to be a “realist” but does not imply direct action taken against Google. The difference between the two in the quantitative sense is not very large (5%); in the qualitative sense however, it can be argued this makes a world of difference. Perhaps more can be said on that later.
As for the 13 respondents that use Google to get their jollies…now Google knows you like ginger trannies…
Question #3: Do you intend to vote in the 2020 election?
The data suggests at least 2/3 of respondents are going to. Not many ways to split this one.
Question #4: Who do you believe will win the Republican nomination?
Like Question #3, this one is also straightforward. One thing to add here is there is a single respondent that believes Bill Weld will win. It stands to reason that only Bill himself, thinks he has a chance to primary Trump. Which means Bill is watching—let’s give Governor Weld a nice, warm, Glibertarian welcome…
Question #5: Who do you believe will win the Democrat nomination?
The results here are filtered for responses greater than zero, given the number of choices available at the time the survey went live. The respondents have Joe Biden up 10 percentage points on the next highest candidate, Kamala Harris. Followed by Elizabeth Warren, who likely has a plan to correct these responses. Which brings us to…
Question #6: Who do you prefer to win the Democrat nomination?
Tulsi Gabbard received 25%, 5 points more than the next highest response being “other”. It is somewhat troubling Marianne Williamson was third on the list, which can only be explained by promises of taxpayer funded crystal meth.
Question #7: Will you entertain a third party option?
About half of the respondents are willing to throw their vote away…
Question #8: Are you retarded?
Trick question. Everyone compared to Mr. Lizard, is retarded.
Question #9: Should Justin Amash run for president, will you entertain the idea of voting for him?
It appears 44% of respondents will…with one caveat—
Question #10: Which of the following notable libertarians do you like for the Libertarian party candidate or as an independent?
Amash does not poll well when compared to other well-known libertarians. He barely gets 1% above the throw away response,”None of these cucks are worthy of my vote.” The respondents’ preference is Rand Paul, who at 28% is 10 points higher than the next highest choice, the lovable TV host Mike Rowe.
Where it gets interesting, is when the responses are cross-referenced. When filtering among respondents choosing the purity question (#2) response suggesting “realism”, the support for Amash drops by 3 points in Question #9. Support for Paul in Question #10 rises by 7%.
The reverse of this results in a rise of support to 51.88% for Amash in Question #9, and slight drop to 26.87% for Paul in Question #10, respectively.
Why does this disparity exist? Feel free to discuss.
Comments
64 responses to “Glibertarian Survey Results”
Total Vindication!
It’s lonely at the top.
MacAffee that low?
So few of you are committed to the Clown World lifestyle.
HONK HONK!
I even scrolled back up to make sure I capitalized the right letter and still misspelled it.
I’m shocked that the Animal/STEVE SMITH ticket wasn’t presented as an option.
Or SMOD/Cthulhu
I voted Marianne Williamson for the lulz, plus she is too spaced out to do any real damage.
Indeed, I find it more troubling that people had a serious answer for top clown in the clown car. MW vs DT. That’s comedy gold right there.
I hope everyone has been studying their Spanish. There’s going to be another Democratic debate tonight.
¡Ay, caramba!
Now, in fact.
I picked mike Rowe because he is likable and I think he would stand a chance at breaking 3 percent.
GayJay broke 3%. 5% is the magic number.
IIRC
I went with Sassy Tom Massie. I live in Maryland, so I could vote for Xenu for all it matters, but I may as well try to encourage the better candidates of one of the two parties that will actually have a shot.
Fuck this Voodoo ‘science’, you couldn’t even reach a consensus, the bedrock of Science, which I fucking love!
There was a consensus that we’re all retarded in some way
Isn’t a Libertarian Purity Test and oxymoron?
My vital fluids are pure and libertarian.
If your vital fluids are pure, you’re most definitely not a Libertarian.
0% for Gary Johnson, ouch …
I took one of those I Side With quizzes today and saw his name on the list of 2020 candidates, which made my blood run cold. Is he seriously trying again?
I won’t vote for him after his 2016 dumpster ?.
He promises he knows what an Aleppo is this time.
He’s spent the last couple years memorizing all the mud brick shitholes Hillary would have bombed to rubble.
Well, don’t candidates get to keep the leftover money they raise?
Yes. And no
Democrat plantBill Weld to deal with this year.It’s like an 80s era actor from some long-defunct franchise who still sets up a booth at a Comicon in Boise. It’s all he knows how to do, and damnit, he’s a beloved fixture of the scene.
In Gary’s case, I think it’s just a paycheck.
Speaking of purity tests*, I don’t see how any self-identifiing libertarian can not vote for the Libertarian candidate. At this point the candidate has very little to do with it. They obviously won’t win, but if they get above 5% (IIRC) the party (as flawed as it is) becomes a “major party” and maybe things start getting a little more real.
*This comment is not aimed at MLW. Her comment just brought it to mind
32 people chose Yang for a Cyberpunk Future, my work has been done
I don’t recall how I answered. What does that mean?
You were properly into your cups at the time, making you a true libertarian.
I thought the true libertarians are aspy internet litigants screaming AKSHULLY at one another.
Well AKSHULLY, there is no plural of true libertarian, there can be only one.
AKSHULLY, you’re wrong, I’m the one true libertarian!
AKSHULLY there would be multiple True Libertarians if more people agreed with me.
“My vital fluids are pure and libertarian.”
You just completely contradicted yourself.
Well, don’t I feel stupid. I thought this was all about Google, and finding a new platform
I’m not really sure what this was all about. But, that’s par for the course. I often have no idea what is going on, usually because I don’t care.
Plus, all the meth.
Also, fried chicken.
So. I have heard at least two commentators on this debate lead-in actually say the words, “we want to punch Donald Trump.”
WTF, people. Who are the violent ones?
Aww jeez. Why would you torture yourself?
Republicans, they want to starve the elderly and shoot children!
Two Dem candidates for president said they want to assault the President of the United States during a presidential debate? I mean, that really is truly unprecedented, isn’t it?
*In modern times. I have no doubt it was said by candidates 150-ish years ago
You still didn’t answer the question, is she hot?
More than 300 respondants. I’m impressed.
That’s a lot of Tulpas.
Fuck off, Tulpa.
It actually is in downtown Detroit. Huh. Next to Mexicantown.
The city motto is “At least we’re not Baltimore!”
I’m surprised they didn’t change the venue to Baltimore last week, you know, for the optics. Whatever those are.
Is Zug Island the one that was proposed to be trade zone?
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.2651783&ved=2ahUKEwiou6W4793jAhULlawKHT98Bk0QFjABegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw2LjmIgKgWYm_CatILodf0K&cf=1&cshid=1564531911379
Every time Fox talks about the CNN debates tonight, they show the marquee of the Fox Theater where the debates are being held. Someone in the control room must giggle every time that happens.
I have decided that I will not vote so that I do not give my consent.
I get it, though i don’t consider voting to be giving consent. I’m stuck with whatever outcome happens weather i vote or not. I can at least show interest in my local politics and maybe effective there.
Thank you to all the anarchists (me being one of them) out there who don’t believe in voting.
Also I was only 2 sheets to the wind when taking this survey.
The odd part to me is that the percentage of “don’t believe in it” kept changing. Russian conspiracy? Obviously.
Also, for those who don’t believe in voting, I hate to break it to you, but voting is a real thing.
So is winning the powerball.
ya’ll can chill out.
I’ve been fighting with my bestie all night, and his wife gets in….#stepback
Xenu is coming – get a towel!
There was at least on confounding data point in that survey
Nary a mention of the SF/Almanian juggernaut in the analysis .. PROBLEMATIC.
Fuck you Bill Weld. And Justin Amash too.
*drops driving gloves and calms a little from St. Louis road rage