¡Martes por la tarde enlaces mexicanos!

Brett said he had a few meetings this afternoon.  So we decided to send in a bug to listen in on his conversation with his business partner, Murdock…
“Beto abandonó el fin de semana pasado. ¿Cómo cambia esto nuestros planes?” preguntó Don Brett
“No lo sé. Se suponía que Beto cerraría la brecha en Juárez, nos permite continuar con la tubería a través de Tampastan …” dijo Mudock.
“Llama a tu amigo Beto, dile que necesita continuar según lo planeado.”
“El no puede. Él no va a ser el presidente. No va a ser senador. Ya no es un congresista–“
“¡Qué carajo! ¿de qué sirvió para empezar?”  preguntó Don Brett.
[begin Spanish guitar]
“Warren es el indio falso. Harris enviaría al ejército detrás de nosotros. Tulsi desaparecerá el próximo mes. Booker es una broma. Bernie va a morir. Beto fue la única oportunidad de cerrar a nuestro competidor en Juárez.”
[Spanish guitar intensifies]
[akward silence between characters to intense Spanish guitar]
[Cuts to Murdock]
[Cuts back to Don Brett]
“Envíale un mensaje a tu amigo Beto. Dile que coma una polla … la tuya.”
[Don Brett motions to his lackeys]
[MORE SPANISH GUITAR]
[Murdock dragged away kicking and screaming]
“No … Don Brett, no! Por favor no!”
“AHHHHH”
All happening with good reason.  Trump is now offering to send the cavalry back to Mexico.  On one hand, I’d rather not start another war in Mexico, but on the other hand Mexico actually is next door and this has directly affected Americans in the past. Hopefully this time Pancho Villa stays dead.
It appears Pinochet left the job unfinished.  Here’s a nice piece pointing out these idiots obviously should move to Venezuela.
Brazillian Trump rips into Emanual Macron.  Personally I want to see Bolsonaro kick his ass, I bet he’s done a bit of BJJ a time or two.
The Peronists win again.  Did I ever mention my distaste for Argentines?
Mexico’s economy oddly isn’t doing so well.
Sorry, Not Adhan.
Here’s some tunes, something different yet familiar.

Comments

288 responses to “¡Martes por la tarde enlaces mexicanos!”

  1. Count Potato

    What’s the carbon foot print of a helicopter?

    1. Don’t know. But after it’s done, it doesn’t matter.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      It zeros out when you use it in certain ways.

    3. Is it a nuclear-powered helicopter?

    4. bacon-magic

      Depends how far you drop the commie.

    5. Gender Traitor

      African or European helicopter?

        1. Sean

          I…uh…umm…

          Wow.

        2. BakedPenguin

          At least the practical blood effect near the end wasn’t too bad.

  2. Playa Manhattan

    If I were Trump, I’d demand that Americans be allowed to carry guns in Mexico. That would solve this problem. For Americans.

    No more foreign aid until they agree.

    1. Florida Man

      Would it? I hear the cartels have US military grade hardware.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        They’re opportunists. They wouldn’t have attacked an armed Mormon caravan.

    2. Americans can’t even carry guns in some parts of America.

    3. I’m reminded of stories that were coming out from a few years back about farmers up in the mountains where a cartel called something like the Knights Templar (no shit) had overwhelmed the local police who took up arms (I’m assuming there are routine boating accidents in Mexico) and drove the cartel off themselves.

      1. The Last American Hero

        Actually, they had the help of four ex-military guys that were on the lam.

    4. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      My neighbor takes his guns to Mexico to go hunting. He says they get checked pretty thoroughly at roadblocks.

    5. blackjack

      Too late.

  3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    I love all things by Mexican sharpshooter, but I like his stuff more when he posts that picture of those lovely latinas at that soccer game.

    Also, “The Peronists win again.”

    When do Peronists ever lose in Argentina? Aren’t most parties (on both the Left and Right) self-avowed ‘Peronists’?

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Yes. Peron was living proof that Communist and Fascists are identical.

    2. Drake

      “Voters Cast Verdict On Ailing Economy”

      Did they vote in Peronists to euthanize it?

    3. Tonio

      I know this guy who can hook you up with some boobage.

  4. Florida Man

    If we invade Mexico it should be for annexation.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Oh yeah, that worked out well last time.

    2. Only if they don’t get voting rights.

    3. Tonio

      Do they get Senators and Congresscritters or are they just a territory?

      1. Florida Man

        Full statehood. I think part of why PR is a basket case is because they have semi-autonomy. I’m Not persuaded by the “you can’t let them vote” BS. I mean we let Californians vote, so why not our New Mexican brothers & sisters.

        1. Ayn Random Variation

          that’s another blue state. a yuge one. I know we’re going commie as soon as the Dems get both the WH and both branches of Congress. I’d just like for it to be after I’m dead or too old for it to matter

          1. Ayn Random Variation

            wtf where’s my cat avatar

          2. Rhywun

            +5 fingers

    4. We shouldn’t stop until we can shove it in those smug assholes’ faces who say “America is a continent, not a country”

      Fuck you, we’re joining Australia as a country-continent!

      1. Uh, we don’t want Canada either.

        1. Florida Man

          They’re doing fine as junior partners. Taking Mexico will remind those flappy heads who is in charge.

          1. The Last American Hero

            We took their drummer and their hockey cup and that didn’t change their attitude.

        2. Tonio

          I wish to be in charge of “rehabilitating” the scruffy bike messengers of Montreal.

          1. Tonio

            Les lutres Quebecois, as it were.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            French Canadians are a proud, well-endowed people. You might have difficulty on your own.

          3. Gadfly

            So I take it you both will be signing up for the pacification squads?

            Liebe macht frei.

        3. Not Adahn

          The only problem with annexing Canada is that we’d lose the duty free shops at the border.

      2. Tonio

        Phrasing?

        1. bacon-magic

          Let him go, he’s on a roll.

    5. Drake

      Maybe just straighten and shorten up the border a bit?

      1. Florida Man

        I’m telling you we don’t stop until we get to the Colombian border.

      2. Tonio

        The last thing we need is to annex a territory that has lots of poor people in it. Because the moment you do that you’re responsible for every outhouse, every municipal infrastructure problem, everything.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          Alabama and New Mexico are already part of the union, Tonio. Get over it, already

        2. Florida Man

          But their is tremendous wealth in Mexico, it’s just being mismanaged. There should be a huge real estate boom as US retires buy retirement property or vacation homes.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            Expats already buy retirement property and vacation homes.

          2. Florida Man

            But imagine if it was just another US state. No border patrol, no international property ownership issues and a confidence that your property rights won’t be violated. I really see no reason why the New Mexican states would be anymore disastrous than westward expansion. Freer markets and rule of law should lead to a prosperous region.

          3. mexican sharpshooter

            Its not gonna happen. Mexico is populated by Mexicans, if they wanted to be Americans….they’d simply move over here.

            …wait just a doggone minute…

          4. Florida Man

            Maybe it doesn’t sound all that unreasonable to me because I live in Florida with spanish speaking enclaves. They seem to go to work and live their lives same as anyone else.

          5. Tonio

            Apparently it is quite possible to retire on the cheap to Mexico. I’ve heard of colonies of US retirees down there. Gated communities, local police keep them safe because they’re cash cows, etc. Maid and gardening services hella cheap. Medx much cheaper than in US. Etc.

            I had considered that, but have personal liberty concerns which many of you may well understand.

          6. Florida Man

            Imagine that over the entire former Mexican country. Sure you’ll have bitching about wealth disparity, but we already have that. In three generations You won’t be able to tell “Mexicans” from “americans”

  5. Pinochet presents a quandary to me.

    He was undoubtedly a dictatorial, murderous asshole. However, by murdering anyone even suspected of Communist sympathies, Chile is almost certainly the most productive and prosperous Latin American country (minus the current shitshow).

    This presents problems to my libertarian sensibilities.

    1. Florida Man

      It’s a failed political philosophy. Don’t worry about it too much.

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Pinochet was much like Franco. They wouldn’t have existed if socialists hadn’t made it necessary for them to exist.

      1. Drake

        I think of Sulla as the precursor to both. Some of the politically ambitious Roman parties had stopped following the rules of the Republic and were openly grabbing for power. Sulla defeated them, got himself installed as Dictator, killed and exiled the troublemakers (Julius Caesar escaped abroad unfortunately for the Republic), then resigned and restored the Republic. Makes him a very controversial historical figure.

        Unfortunately Sulla’s reforms didn’t outlive him by much. Same can be said for Pinochet and Franco. As we talked about last night, it’s really hard to prevent collapse when nobody cares about the rules, the government elite are corrupt sociopaths, and the voting public are idiots.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          Interesting point. But, ponder me this: would there be a Sulla if there had not been the murder of the Gracchi brothers by the senatorial caste? Their murder probably did more to de-legitimize the Roman state than anything.

          In the case of Franco, if the socialists had not been assassinating political opponents, burning churches, and killing clergy all without any repercussions and even tacit support from the state, I highly doubt the coup against the Republic would have even happened.

          1. Drake

            yeah – All those issues are kind of wrapped together in my head unless I really read up on it. Rome was getting big and successful which meant bigger income disparities and wars farther from home. So instead of a Roman citizen campaigning with a legion after crops were planted and home before harvest, he might end up in North Africa for a couple years – and come home bankrupt. Exactly why I left the National Guard – my old unit is currently in Somalia doing something or another.

            But I really think there wouldn’t have been a Sulla if Gaius Marius had accepted the constitutional limits on his powers and stayed out of government after his two terms as Consul. Once he declared the Roman Constitution dead, it really was dead and would never be revived.

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            “Exactly why I left the National Guard – my old unit is currently in Somalia doing something or another.”

            So fucked up.

            “But I really think there wouldn’t have been a Sulla if Gaius Marius had accepted the constitutional limits on his powers and stayed out of government after his two terms as Consul.”

            Yeah, agreed. Marius also made it possible for Sulla to raise an army to invade Rome. If I remember correctly, it was his military reforms that allowed landless people to join the army and their livelihoods were dependent on military conquest thereby making the soldier more loyal to his commander than Rome.

          3. Drake

            Useful tip – if they offer you a promotion and a free trip to MP School – decline.

        2. Tonio

          Folks, where else can you find shit like this in the comments? The comments I tells you.

    3. Viking1865

      The issue with disarmed societies is that a willful and organized armed minority can control them. The Russian Revolution, for example, was led by moderate intellectual lawyer types. They were looking to establish some form of parliamentary democracy. Perhaps even transitioning the czar into a constitutional monarch. But the fact is that power flows from the barrel of a gun, and the Bolsheviks had the young men who were both armed and willing to use those arms to take power. Potbellied lawyers and idealistic activists might control the rough men, but they only ever really do so with the consent of the rough men. The moderate socialists and democrats and constitutional monarchists spent the spring and summer of 1917 debating and talking, while the Bolsheviks took control of the army, the factories, and the railroads.

    4. wdalasio

      He was undoubtedly a dictatorial, murderous asshole.

      Probably. But, I’m stuck with an even more difficult problem. What would a good and decent patriot have done all that differently? Allende was pretty much using their constitution as a piece of toilet paper. More to the point, he was bringing in Russian and Cuban “advisors” to train and equip a local army loyal to him and the Socialist party, rather than the national government. This led to the legislature out-and-out asking for the military to intervene. The Allende government had already arrested the former Chief of Staff, even though there wasn’t much evidence that he’d done anything, simply because he had enough popular legitimacy to pose a threat.

      Now, put yourself in the guys shoes. What do you do? Do you throw the guy out? Or do you let him establish a communist dictatorship? If you go the second route, you’ve got an even bigger problem on your hands. Those “advisors” and the local Socialist army could be pretty much counted on to wage a guerrilla war if you do that. So, you either round up the leftists or you risk letting the country plunge into a civil war.

      Pinochet is quoted as saying “I’m not a dictator. It’s just that I have a grumpy face.” I’m not completely sure there isn’t a kernel of truth to that. If he’d had a glamorous look, it’s entirely possible he’d be romanticized. Yeah, I can’t justify all of the extreme measures he resorted to. But, I have the luxury of judging those measures from the relative safety of a country that’s still a relatively stable republic.

      1. wdalasio

        God I wish there was an edit button.

        If you go the first route….

      2. Drake

        relatively stable republic

        uh… don’t get too comfortable…

        1. wdalasio

          And that’s why I said “still…”

  6. Count Potato

    “BREAKING: @abcnews anchor @arobach caught on ‘hot mic’ in August disgustedly exposing networks decision to strategically spike bombshell investigation into Jefferey Esptein over THREE YEARS AGO.

    Says what she had was “unbelievable””

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lfwkTsJGYA

    https://twitter.com/JamesOKeefeIII/status/1191716801178034180

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      I don’t get it, what was going on 3 years ago

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Eh, I guess it would have been 4.

  7. Count Potato

    “15 USC §§2068, 2070, 16 CFR §1210.3 & §1210.4(a)(2) make it a federal crime to manufacture cigarette lighters without getting at least 100 toddlers to test them out.”

    https://twitter.com/CrimeADay/status/1191508438041403397

    1. Bobarian LMD

      That was my job as a kid, that’s why I can light a zippo in a 100 different methods.

    2. LJW

      Do they have to successfully light a cigarette and take a drag for it to count?

    3. Drake

      Sounds like make-work for somebody’s orphans.

      1. Not Adahn

        Glibertarians need that sweet, sweet Uncle Sugar lucre too.

  8. Tonio

    Virginia Education Association (the de facto union for teachers in government schools) is NOT HAPPY that someone else is claiming to speak for teachers. So much for freedom of speech.

    https://www.pilotonline.com/government/elections/vp-nw-virginia-beach-candidate-fliers-20191105-f66hpfrh3zcinbylhbrsz5cugu-story.html

    1. Playa Manhattan

      An implicit admission that voters can’t decide for themselves.

    2. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “I believe it’s an organization of teachers who are not left of center, but right of center,” he said. “Not every teacher is a leftist.”

      As a teacher, I can assure you that this is true.

      But the admin might as well be the Red Guards

  9. mexican sharpshooter

    Alright. I tried. If you want double spaces, take it up with whatever god you wish.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      I enjoy the international links. Spaces or no spaces.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I’d find the futbol fans pic, but I am at work…

  10. Enough About Palin
  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    The in reconstructed South, what a treasure…….

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      In not in …

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Fuck! Unreconstructed

        1. Unreconstructed

          You rang?

  12. Count Potato

    “The sheer entitlement of this piece is ASTOUNDING.”

    https://twitter.com/TheLaurenChen/status/1191757721034297344

    1. Playa Manhattan

      A drawer full of dicks

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        Sometimes you can have too many.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        “Who doesn’t?”

        –Jeffery Dahmer

    2. Chipwooder

      “How dare you not provide me with the sex I am owed!” I’m sure Vice would allow a heterosexual incel type to pen a column saying the same thing, right?

      Straight women are insistent that their would-be lover have a dick? NO FUCKING WAY!!!!

      It’s not mentioned in the piece, but having a scrawny female build probably doesn’t help, either.

    3. Strategically replace a few words and that idiot sounds like an incel.

      1. Chipwooder

        If you ponder this silly line of thinking long enough, the logic would seem to dictate that homosexuals should be called out for shunning the opposite sex. It’s not just about genitalia, you see! That’s such a limited way to view sexuality and gender and blah blah blah.

        It’s ridiculous. It’s trying to force women to have sex with people they are not attracted to. If anyone was saying the same thing about gay men or lesbians, they would rightly be condemned.

        1. tarran

          You joke, but that’s actually happening:

          Meet the Gay Activists Who’ve Had Enough of Britain’s Ultra-Woke Homophobes>/a>

          Readers who aren’t steeped in the most fashionable iteration of identity politics might now be scratching their heads. Unless you’re taking cues from Leviticus, what could possibly be wrong with saying it’s okay to be gay?

          The answer is that, in acknowledging the reality of same-sex attraction, you are indirectly acknowledging the reality and importance of biological sex as a driver of attraction. You are also indirectly acknowledging that members of the opposite sex are not members of your dating pool—even if they tell you that they share your gender identity. Which means you have effectively pled guilty to that grave modern thoughtcrime, transphobia.

          If you are not on Twitter, have not set foot on a college campus in the last few years, and don’t read woke web sites such as Teen Vogue, where this sort of thing is taken very seriously, you may imagine that I am engaged in some kind of Swiftian send-up of identity politics gone amok. After all, just about every single person reading this knows quite well how sexual attraction works. But I am quite serious: Activist groups that brand themselves as mainstream representatives of the LGBT community not only preach the idea that true attraction is based on gender, they also have sought to de-platform and mob anyone within their ranks who points out that this idea is completely divorced from the way the human brain actually works. In this make-believe world, to be gay—in the way gay people actually experience being gay—is to be a transphobe.

          1. tarran

            Gorram it! Edit fairy!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      They’re gonna demand legislation forcing people to date trannies in the name of diversity and equality right?

      1. Chipwooder

        That’s the gist of what they want – they are trying to brand any heterosexual as a hateful bigot for insisting that their sexual partner have the opposite genitalia. It’s pure narcissism.

  13. Rufus the Monocled

    What do you guys think about the American military fucking shit up in Mexico?

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Ummm…no?

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Maybe Americans should, you know, stop going? They know the risks now. It’s like those naifs who leave for any of the Tribalstans to try and prove how peaceful they are only to be killed off like gazelles in the wilderness. Or people who go to North Korea or Iran or some other non-democracy to prove it’s not as bad as being portrayed and then the American government has to go in and save their sorry asses. Don’t do it.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          A few years back I had some friends who were traveling to Mexico for a wedding. The wedding wasn’t in a resort town it was in real Mexico. I would joke with them before they left that their heads would be mailed back to their mothers, if they were lucky. It was funny, only because they lived.

        2. Chipwooder

          Yeah. Back when I lived in Yuma, we used to go to Mexico fairly frequently, but that was 2004-06. There wasn’t a deadly cartel war going on then. I wouldn’t go there on a dare now.

          1. The Bearded Hobbit

            Pre-children we would occasionally go down to Juarez with another couple, have dinner, maybe go to the dog track. When our kids were pre-teen/teenagers we would make day trips (didn’t do nighttime with kids even then.) Last time we went was probably along your timeframe, 2004-06.

          2. I’ve only been to Mexico City. The last time was this summer. Everything looked perfectly safe.

          3. Dad Escaped Infantry

            It is by any reasonable expectation. For myself, I gleefully live in a city that probably has worse numbers than the places I refuse to work in any more.

            But, at home, I get to shoot back and go out on my own terms.

        3. Dad Escaped Infantry

          I quit working in Mexico about four years ago.

          For a piece, I might, but not as a salary man.

        4. OneOut

          Hithese were Mexican/American dual citizen specifically Norman’s.

          They are Romney’s cousins.
          True story.
          They are warring with the cartels.
          This was a purposeful ambush.

    2. Florida Man

      I think we should send the Canadian army.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Maybe Quebec could re-install the Hapsuburgs to the throne. Finish off what Napoleon III failed to accomplish

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        We can send the Inuit Arctic Rangers.

        We also have mehaphones.

        1. Florida Man

          It makes as much sense as the US military fighting other people’s wars. We might as well have someone else fight ours.

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      At least it’s close, no midair refueling,
      And the beaches .

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Not to mention the women. Right now Mexico is not sending us their best women.

        1. JaimeRoberto Delecto

          That’s a fact. The chicas at the bus stop look nothing like they do in the telenovelas.

          1. Not Adahn

            I was immensely put out went I went to Tijuana and NONE of the hookers looked like Salma Hayek.

          2. JaimeRoberto Delecto

            I got suckered into a bar in Tijuana with a $1 beer. The second beer was about $10 and the bouncer wasn’t going to let me talk my way out of it. The prostitute they sent to my table was pretty darn cute, but I figured that going upstairs with her was a good way to end up broke and bloody in the back alley.

    4. bacon-magic

      No…simply because we’d have to wipe out at least half of the government there in order to wipe out the cartel.

      1. Florida Man

        Sounds like you’re onboard with annexation or nothing.

    5. LJW

      Aren’t the Mormons like the Kurds of Christianity? Why don’t they just send in their LDS Peshmerga?

    6. Drake

      What happens in Mexico is certainly far more important to the U.S. than Syria. I have no idea what to think – the Mexican military lost a battle with a cartel recently. If they continue to collapse in anarchy, we better do something or else really lock down the southern border.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I tend to agree with this. The problem just may come to you if it already isn’t.

    7. Chipwooder

      Chapultepec 2 – Electric Boogaloo

    8. Trolleric the Goth

      already pretty fucked, innit?

    9. tarran

      The thing is that there’s a bit of a turnabout is fair play going on here.

      YOu may recall that in one of the more recent mass shootings, a couple of Mexican nationals were killed, and the President of Mexico demanded that the US institute gun control.

      Trump is flinging that in his face.

      Rightly so, I might add.

    10. Gerry Rigg

      Commander Pershing has arisen from his grave a la Marley to give you fair warning!

      1. Gerry Rigg
  14. Count Potato

    “YouTube star Logan Paul prepares for his $190M boxing bout against a fellow influencer this weekend in event dubbed the ‘biggest in internet history’ – but fans are calling for him to be drug tested over his ‘jacked up’ physique”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7651655/Fans-call-Logan-Paul-drug-tested-ahead-190m-amateur-boxing-match.html

    $190M??

    1. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Isn’t the the guy from Crocodile Dundee? Will he bring his knife?

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I don’t care if they have receipts. It’s not $190M.

    3. Rhywun

      So sad I’m going to miss that. ?

  15. ChipsnSalsa

    This article is by Craig J. Cesal, a federal prisoner sentenced to life without the possibility of parole as a first-time offender convicted of conspiring to distribute marijuana.

    https://libertarianchristians.com/2019/11/01/jealous/

    We don’t know if people don’t want to hear from us, or if the mail never got to them.

    There is your war on drugs kids. Locking up a mechanic for fixing a truck that happened used to distribute marijuana.

    1. Ozymandias

      That’s a pretty big nut punch.

    2. That’s nausea-inducing.

    3. blackjack

      How do you get all the little old ladies to read this? Or believe it when they do? They think the cops and courts are heroes keeping them safe from the marauding hordes. They think the cops respect innocence and would never railroad a guy for a minor offense. How do we teach them this? Dammit.

    4. Fatty Bolger

      https://www.change.org/p/free-my-dad-serving-life-without-parole-for-marijuana

      Seventeen years ago, my dad, Craig Cesal, was arrested on a marijuana conspiracy case because he owned a trucking repair business. He would repair trucks that had been leased and used to smuggle pot. The trucks would be trashed after the marijuana was stripped from the secret compartments, and although it was obvious these trucks were being used to smuggle pot, my dad didn’t think it was his business to report it.

      He had no criminal history whatsoever, but today, he is serving a life sentence without parole because he didn’t take a plea bargain, went to trial, and was therefore held responsible for everything the kingpin and smugglers had done. They cut deals, testified against him and they are all free today.

      JFC.

      1. Rhywun

        I can’t even.

    1. Enough About Palin

      Ample =/= Gross

    2. Private Chipperbot

      DM has the anti ad blocker now. Sad!

  16. BakedPenguin

    Hate to have an OT comment this soon, but damn Ajax vs. Chelsea is definitely worth a watch for anyone who likes soccer.

    1. Drake

      Somebody named Ajax is playing Chelsea Clinton?

      1. BakedPenguin

        It a bunch of people with dish cleaner playing a team of Presidential daughter lookalikes.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Dish cleaner? I thought it was for wiping the servers down.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        In the Hillary Clinton story?

    2. SugarFree

      His real name is “Francis.”

  17. Rebel Scum

    but on the other hand Mexico actually is next door and this has directly affected Americans in the past. Hopefully this time Pancho Villa stays dead.

    Intervention in Mexico at least follows the Monroe Doctrine, not that it would necessarily be good for us to do so.

  18. Should I go and vote against all the incumbents in the city elections?

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Yes it’s the only way to be sure.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Where you live, the challenger could be much worse.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        This is how you end up with an AOC.

        1. I know. My representative is Ayanna Pressley. The non-incumbents can be actual commies.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          That’s exactly what I was thinking. Or worse.

      2. Yeah, I should probably skip it.

    3. No, voting only encourages them.

      1. Gadfly

        On the other hand, they need no encouragement.

        “None of the Above” really should be a more widespread option.

    4. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Vote early and often.

    1. LJW

      What a nutjob. What next Hillary didn’t have a private server in her closet?

  19. Rebel Scum

    “The Amazon region belongs to us,” Bolsonaro said at one point. He added that Amazonian farmers “no longer want to be treated consistently as if they are cave men or women or prehistoric human beings.”

    I’ll note the constant use of “far-right” and that nbc is still pretending that these burns are not normal and controlled.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      NBC is only careful with its reporting if it involves a politically connected rapist, otherwise they smear to their heart’s desire.

  20. Count Potato

    “Vote for Sean Spicer on Dancing with the Stars. He is a great and very loyal guy who is working very hard! #MAGA”

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1191537655592431616

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    1. Chipwooder

      The twitter lefties are very, VERY angry about Spicer still being alive on that show.

      1. It amuses me that they’re so worked up over it.

        I don’t give a damn about some dance show I’ve never watched, but the screeching is amusing.

        1. Chipwooder

          Between that and some of them screeching that Kurt Suzuki should be banned for life from MLB, they don’t come off as crazy people at all!

        2. Rebel Scum

          Anyone who disagrees with me politically should not be allowed to participate in society. – Leftist

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            Seriously. It’s a fricken lousy dance show.

            And horrors a baseball player expresses support of Trump! They boo that but cheer people who attack him in public under the free speech banner.

            This is correct but why is it not in the other cases?

            I know, I know. Don’t bother responding.

        3. Rhywun

          LOL Dr. Gu is right there with the zingers! ?

          1. That guy has no life.

          2. Count Potato

            I don’t see when he has time to practice medicine.

          3. Is he actually a medical doctor?

  21. kinnath

    Step 1) Legalize drugs
    Step 2) Annex everything down to the Panama Canal
    Step 3) ???
    Step 4) Profit!

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Oh shit, that might work.

    2. LJW

      At what point do you steal the underpants?

      1. Not Adahn

        Mexicans don’t need underpants. Gets in the way of the buttsex.

    3. Florida Man

      What we spend on invasion could be made back in new taxation and growth in the economy. It’ll never happen, but annexation would be the best thing to happen to Mexico.

      1. kinnath

        I’ve been saying this for 20 some odd years. Everyone is appalled.

        But our so-called nation-building exercises around the world are bleeding us dry and we get nothing for it.

        Conquest or stay home. Make a choice.

      2. Gadfly

        but annexation would be the best thing to happen to Mexico.

        I think it might be good for Mexico, but bad for the US.

        Mexico might need its own Pinochet to clean things up. Preferably with due process before the helicopter rides.

    4. kinnath

      Step 3.a) Send millions of US educated DACA immigrants back where they came to administrate everything.

    5. robc

      Sea to shining sea. Boffin Bat to Tierra del Fuego.

      1. kinnath

        Correct,

  22. Titty Tuesday keeps with the theme.

    http://archive.is/SPOCX

  23. Rebel Scum

    Millennial Wishes There Were Some Historical Examples Of Socialism We Could Study To Have Some Idea How It Might Turn Out

    “If only there were other countries that have tried socialism before,” Hatter said to a friend at an ethical coffee shop, Commiebrews, Monday afternoon, after he finished his paper route. “Then, we could see if there are any pitfalls.”…

    “Like, say some countries in South America tried socialism before and everybody starved to death,” he said. “Or if there were major superpowers who implemented socialism and then, like, 100 million people died—that would be really bad. We could look to these ‘books of history’ and decide that wouldn’t be the route for us.”

    “Alas, sadly, this isn’t the case, so the country will just have to be pioneers and try socialism to see what it’s like.”

    1. Florida Man

      Lol. Millennials sure had some terrible teachers and role models.

    2. Drake

      I was hoping it was the Bee. The Berlin Wall came down 30 years ago this Saturday and I wonder why we even bothered.

  24. Count Potato

    BREAKING: Matthew Yglesias Is An Asshole

    “So many DC sports fans triggered to discover that non-college white men are a big Trump demographic.

    If you want athletes who are going to align with your partisan preferences, probably best to stick with basketball.”

    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/1191434694551855107

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      “If you want athletes who are going to align with your partisan preferences, probably best to stick with basketball”

      If your partisan preference is people who say “orange man bad”, but then pretend like re-education camps that exist in the city where their league trains don’t exist then maybe the problem is with you.

    2. Rebel Scum

      Or maybe government politics doesn’t need to be in every facet of life.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Uh. They both went to college.

      1. Private Chipperbot

        And Suzuki is only Asian white.

    4. Chipwooder

      Ryan Zimmerman is a UVA graduate and Kurt Suzuki is not white.

      Dipshit.

    5. If you want athletes who are going to align with your partisan preferences, you should probably just do the world a favor and kill yourself.

    6. Rufus the Monocled

      Poor Sad Beard. It must hard being Sad Beard. Sad Beard plays a sad trombone whenever he trims his beard. Sad Beard: Woking up people is hard.

    7. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      A quick review of the Nats’ roster shows that nearly all of the American born players went to college.

      1. Jock college doesn’t count.

        1. JaimeRoberto Delecto

          If it doesn’t count for baseball, it certainly shouldn’t count for the one and done basketballers.

    8. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Maybe Suzuki has a grudge against the Democrats for putting his family in a camp.

    9. Urthona

      I like how he threw out ‘non-college”. The majority of college educated whites voted for Trump as well.

  25. Playa Manhattan

    Of the people killed in Mexico, the women were raped before they were shot in the back and killed. The children and infants were burned alive.

    What does the New York Times have to say about it? This.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Wtf?

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      That’s a disgusting take. Whoever wrote that is absolutely a bad person.

      Mormons ran away to Mexico, because the US federal government was intent on killing them all. And now a bunch of them get killed in Mexico and the NYT, a publication renowned for its bigotry against Christians, is going to re-write history.

      Walter Duranty would be proud

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        “Elizabeth Dias
        Elizabeth Dias covers faith and politics for The New York Times from the Washington bureau. She previously covered a similar beat for Time magazine, reporting on both the 2012 and 2016 presidential campaigns. She has an undergraduate degree in theology from Wheaton College and a master’s in divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary.”

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          The article does imply they were killed for their ‘fundamentalism’ without actually presenting facts about possible motives. Absent that, one may conclude it was because of their religion.

          Very misleading if not sloppy. Deliberate?

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Their “fundamentalism” was practicing polygamy and believing in a non-canonical brand of Christianity. They were shot at every place they settled.

            The NYT is disgraceful

        2. I listened to a course from Princeton Theological Seminary and found it quite hostile to the faith. I expected it to be more academic and detached than other seminaries, but it felt like I was in a critical theory course. “Assume the Bible is completely false and work only from entirely independent evidence” seemed to be their goal.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            I was hoping someone would chime in and comment on her bio and how it could lead to such an article.

    3. They covered up the Holocaust. They’re capable of anything.

      1. Drake

        They covered up multiple holocausts and denied every monstrous thing Lenin and Stalin did.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          They still have the Pulitzer from the Holodomor denial on display in their awards case. Truly a fine bunch of people.

    4. Private Chipperbot

      I liked this reply:

      “A brutal killing of shoppers at Walmart in El Paso highlighted a long history of foreigners illegally moving into and settling America’s border regions.”

    5. mexican sharpshooter

      “Its cool, they were just religions whack-jobs.”

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Is that you Janet Reno?

        1. Hey, she burned kids alive, too!

          1. Bobarian LMD

            She didn’t rape anybody… that we know of?

          2. blackjack

            Wiki says she never married or had any kids, so this MAY be true.

    6. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      The killers were just austere religious scholars.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        They do like to change the definitions of words, so maybe ‘austere’ is a synonym for ‘blood-thirsty’?

    7. Chipwooder

      Good lord. “Well, they were weird fundies so it’s not that big a deal that they were slaughtered.”

      1. Viking1865

        When people ask why I hate Bill Clinton, I say “Because he murdered innocent American citizens alive in their homes.” Most people don’t even know what I am referring to, and most fall back on some variant of “Well, they were really weird.”

        Never give up your guns. They might kill you anyway, but if you are armed you can take a few of the fuckers with you.

    8. Rufus the Monocled

      ‘Fundamentalists’ is a weasel word to try and soften or remove sympathy a reader may have.

      The NYT is pure evil.

      I forget. Who did the NYT in the war? The commies or Nazis? It sure as hell wasn’t America Fuck Yeah.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Poor messaging on the part of the “Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints” then. It was the ’80s you would’ve thought they could find a better marketing guru when naming themselves.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Good point.

          Reband. For example, Liberal and Democrat parties should just rebrand themselves as Progressive Party.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            ‘Rebrand’. ‘As the’.

        2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          The NYT is excusing away Mormons being killed in the 21st Century because in the 19th Century they had to run away to Mexico because the US federal government had an extermination order against them.

          The NYT seems more fundamentalist in this scenario than anyone

          1. JaimeRoberto Delecto

            I like it. Maybe we should start referring them as the Fundamentalist New York Times.

    9. tarran

      What does the New York Times have to say about it?

      Somehow that’s a question I never find myself asking…. ever!

    10. Sensei

      The NYT never fails to disappoint.

      However they didn’t call them “austere”!

      1. tarran

        To get called that you have to keep an American woman as a sex slave and rape her to death.

    11. Count Potato

      OFFS!!!

      1. Rhywun

        I saw another story linking them to the Nvixm (sp?) scandal. I won’t dignify it with a link.

      2. mikey

        “Previously touched by cartel violnece”
        There you have it

  26. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    Ross Ulbricht

    @RealRossU
    Follow Follow @RealRossU

    Saw a dog for the first time in over six years, a dachshund mix. It was a medical alert dog for a visitor in the visiting room. That made me really happy ?

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      He’s a political prisoner.

      1. Rhywun

        No comment.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Preet is scum.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s a sad situation, the poor guy’s going to die in there.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          There has to be a way to get him out. Hopefully someone, somehow will right this travesty of justice.

          /turns woodchopper on

    2. He should team up with the LWP pot guy from upthread.

  27. Drake

    I went and voted in NJ’s odd-year elections. Never fails to amaze me that they ask for zero proof that I am who I claim to be.

    1. Rhywun

      In NY you have to sign a book. Not only does my signature vary depending on which hand I use (don’t ask), at the last second I noticed they have a long drawn out signature I haven’t used in decades (your signature is there in the book so they can compare them) instead of the ideograph I use now.

      Totes secure.

      1. If voting actually mattered they wouldn’t let you do it.

        1. Sean

          Well…Trump’s election shows otherwise.

      2. Drake

        I scribbled my name in the book. I don’t think the old lady with the book is a handwriting expert.

      3. The polling place I went to had a tablet and stylus, so it is easier to fabricate signatures.

        1. Rhywun

          Huh. Is that new? I’m not voting so I dunno if it’s changed since last year. I would expect every site in the state has to have the same systems.

          1. Last year it was the signature book. This year it was a tablet.

          2. We had that this year for the first time. But as I said, the poll workers know me (and probably most of the other people in town).

            I don’t know them, to be honest.

      4. Florida Man

        They swipe my DL when I vote.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Voter suppression!

        2. Grummun

          Here (east central OH), they swiped my DL, made me sign a touchscreen with a stylus that captured maybe 1/2 of my signature, and asked me to verbally recite my address (which was on the DL they were still holding). Then I got to use the new voting machines, which takes a piece of paper that is maybe 5 x 17, and then actually prints my votes on the paper, which is then scanned by a second machine that is sitting on top of something that looks suspiciously like a trash can.

          This is still better than the county to the southwest of mine, where my M-i-L works in the Board of Elections. Their new machines require an authorization card to cast a ballot, but it doesn’t lock the card in the slot, so you can pull it out at any time. If you pull it out before you finalize your ballot, the ballot doesn’t count. In one day of early voting, she said ~1/4 of ballots were invalid because the card was pulled out prematurely.

    2. I’m in a small enough town where the poll workers know everybody, so they’ll identify me before I could try to produce ID.

    3. Sean

      Big turn out in my area. I was almost #900 in what they said was normally a #300 day.

  28. Rhywun

    Own-goal of the day.

    The Times won at the Supreme Court, establishing — in one of its proudest moments — the principle that for libel public figures have to prove that factual accuracies are made with actual malice. Why the Times’ premier columnist wants to roll back that principle is beyond us.

    1. When Cortez asked why they would run ads with obvious lies, the response should have been, “Because, Congresswoman, your money is just as green as the people who tell the truth.”

      1. *as that of the people who tell the truth

  29. Stinky Wizzleteats

    I stumbled across this YouTube channel, Screen Rant, and this guy shits on movies every bit as funnily as Mr. Plinkett:

    https://youtu.be/lJzRQdDN2pY

    It’s great stuff for those who’d rather watch a movie get slammed than actually watch the movie.

    1. Count Potato

      Pitch Meeting is awesome.

  30. BakedPenguin

    I know a few people have a problem with him, but Tim Pool has a new Project Veritas video out regarding Epstein.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Pool’s alright even if he spends too much time disavowing and qualifying. It’s obvious why CBS sat on the story and James O’Keefe should be commended.

    2. Trigger Hippie

      I don’t hate Pool and I’m a few minutes in. But I’ve stopped watching his videos on a regular basis because of the shit he’s pulling right now. Being, he makes a point of drumming up his own importance and makes his reporting seem edgier by harping on about how close he is to crossing the line with his content. Once he gets that out of his system the content is usually solid.

      1. BakedPenguin

        SW & TH – I still watch him, because he does have some good content, but both of your criticisms are valid.

    3. Count Potato

      “ABC News Leak Renews Focus On Elite Media Coziness With Jeffrey Epstein”

      https://dailycaller.com/2019/11/05/abc-news-jeffrey-epstein-george-stephanopoulos/

    4. Count Potato

      “James O’Keefe’s Epstein coverup scoop lighting up social media, but TV news goes dark; Updated ”

      https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2019/11/05/james-okeefes-epstein-coverup-scoop-lighting-up-social-media-but-tv-news-goes-dark/

  31. Count Potato

    “The press describes my abode in Belize as a “Kurz-like Compound”. The only similarities are the shrunken heads on posts that surrounded my place and my insistence that my staff work naked and paint their bodies with crocodile blood. The rest is nonsense.”

    https://twitter.com/officialmcafee/status/1191852775006752771

    1. Dad Escaped Infantry

      confession: I watched half of Apocalypse Now before I made the connection (just a few huh, what a coincidences hit me)

    1. Rebel Scum

      Hottie on a hot-mic.

  32. Not Adahn

    I never learned how to do astrology en Espanol. Dude did have a sick collection of capes tho.

  33. Yay! 4,600 words today…

    I’m celebrating reaching half my most productive day last year.

    But, they’re approaching a battle sequence. Those rack up words quickly.

    1. Oh, and I still have a few more hours of writing before it’s tomorrow.

    2. Dad Escaped Infantry

      If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

      1. Begone, or I shall taunt you a second time!

    3. Excellent!

      I’m just curious, do you write to music?

  34. My cousin and his mother had been missing in Sandusky, Ohio for about a week. They had written letters and sent them to other family members about wanting to end their lives. My cousin was found today. He had been online using data at 3:30 pm. They were searching in the exact area he was in and his friends were right outside the house he had somehow rented. They were too late. He is no longer with us. His mother is alive and in a hospital in the area.

    I find myself not really sad but angry. Just really angry.

    1. Oh, I am so sorry.

    2. blackjack

      That’s messed up. I’m really sorry.

    3. Drake

      Damn.

    4. MikeS

      So sorry, AC. That is terrible.

  35. That’s awful. Sorry.