Monday Morning – WTF Happened Links

A sad ending to a valiant effort.

Hmmm. Looks like STEVE SMITH got into a bit of trouble. The spotter UAV did get some good pics….and, oooh. The STEVE SMITH FILE is open.

Hmmmm…old family ties turned sour…

YETI never got over losing that one.

YETI becomes union boss…SMITH Family not happy. STEVE storms into YETI’s HQ.

That must have been some fight.

Whoa…looks like YETI made one big mistake. He located by the sea. Forgot that STEVE SMITH has family…and they are on his side.

Oooh. That had to hurt.

Oh my…recent UAV video…looks like SEA SMITH is dragging YETI back to ASIA. That is one long arsed, salt water soaking journey. I hope STEVE SMITH is OK. Might have to have ZARDOZ fill in on Friday.

Well, now that I am all caught up, we can get to the links.

  • Go ahead…make all the “easier to run away” jokes.
  • Guaranteed to make friends and win people to your side!
  • This is angry. I like angry tabloids.

Music – Today, it is going to be a scorching one.

Comments

384 responses to “Monday Morning – WTF Happened Links”

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I don’t know. That dude was a good fifty feet in the air. One malfunction and splat.

    1. Festus

      Easy target. “Pull!”

      1. Fourscore

        I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    2. Timeloose
      1. leon

        I don’t get why this is some military dream. Seems loud as hell and you profile yourself against the sky.

        1. Timeloose

          I’ve ridden a motorcycle at triple digit speeds, I can’t imagine doing it with my feet strapped on top of a manhole cover. This is highly impractical. Make it like a jet pack that has some practical range and doesn’t weigh 200 lbs and maybe it becomes something.

        2. Fourscore

          Beat the 5 o’clock rush to Happy Hour at the NCO Club.

      2. Rasilio

        Zapata was the inventor of this device and, in 2018, was given a €1.3 million grant by the French military to make it functional for military use.

        ???

        Why?

        That can never be functional for military use, it is loud and all it accomplishes is it makes the “operator” an easy target. The Falcon wing suit from Avengers makes a lot more military sense than that “hoverboard”.

    3. They are usually piloted over water. We looked into this tech as a possible entertainment option for a suite of “Future sports” shows. It would be like a paintball-in-the-sky type of thing.

    1. That’s a banning.

    2. Festus

      It’s a shame because she really is a pretty girl. You know when guys say “Dat Ass”? I just shake my head in disappointment and say “dat ass”.

    3. #StillWould

      1. AlmightyJB

        Yup

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Federer’s wife looked displeased.

    I would have been a little afraid to go home.

    1. straffinrun

      Nah. He’s got a mean one handed backhand.

      1. leon

        I think that’s why she’s displeased.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Not like Djokovic and his two hands.

  3. >>Bristol said it had closed Bristol Bridge due to the protests and South Wales Police said roads in Cardiff city center were blocked. Outside the Royal Courts of Justice in central London, activists parked a blue boat and sat on the road doing yoga.

    Oh England – that’s how people get run over in the US.

    USA! USA! USA!

    1. These were the people that chopped the head off their King… a long time ago. Now…protest yoga!

    2. Slammer

      That’s why protests in Somalia are so violent… They don’t have roads

    3. Drake

      Some group did that a couple years ago on the George Washington Bridge during rush hour. The cops had to rescue the protesters from irate NY / NJ commuters who were literally going to toss them over the side.

      1. AlexinCT

        More reasons to hate the cops.

    4. Fourscore

      Let Britain be the Climate Change experimental group, isolated island and all. After a year of renewal energy take a sampling of the citizens and any still living politicians and scientific community to see if the consensus is still valid.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    “This emergency mobilization of ordinary citizens, driven to action by the threat of climate breakdown and ecological collapse, will demand the government take immediate action to halt biodiversity loss and reduce greenhouse gases to net zero by 2025,” the group said.

    Not

    insane.

    1. Rhywun

      Commies gonna commie.

      This is just them latching onto “climate” as their hook this time. Clever, since they’re dragging a lot of useful idiots along for the ride this time.

  5. Festus

    This version made 11 year-old Festus have strange, new feelings – https://youtu.be/WS_YAKZH3lw

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Is that when you starting wearing heels?

    2. Was that in 1951 or 1941?

      1. Festus

        Ha! Even on a shitty b/w TV I knew she was wearing a red dress. 1976 or so…

  6. Rebel Scum

    Environmental activists sought to sow chaos in five British cities on Monday in a bid to force the government to act to help avert what they cast as a climate cataclysm.

    Do you know who else wanted chaos in Britain?

    1. Slammer

      Aleister Crowley?

    2. Count Potato

      John Lydon?

      1. MikeS

        dammit

        1. Chafed

          You’re still awesome.

    3. Brett L

      Nyarlathotep?

    4. Tres Cool

      Sham 69 ?

      (lyrics likely NSFW)

      1. Enough About Palin

        That brunette is adorable.

  7. leon

    “The Extinction Rebellion group disrupted London with 11 days of protests in April that it cast as the biggest act of civil disobedience in recent British history. Iconic locations were blocked, the Shell building defaced, trains stopped and Goldman Sachs targeted”

    This irritates me. Civil disobedience is not merely breaking the law. These people are vandals. Civil disobedience means disobeying a law but in a civil manner. It points out that the law is there to criminalize non-violent behavior.

    1. Gotta love vandalism and screwing with peoples’ commutes.

    2. Lachowsky

      Yeah. Civil disobedience involves not following a law that you want repealed, not breaking laws that are in place to protect property in order to push more for more laws that will destroy more property.

    3. Tejicano

      And generally civil disobedience is done in a way to evoke empathy rather than ire. The way they are doing this they are more likely to evoke scorn from people who are not even directly affected.

    4. Rhywun

      They don’t want “civil disobedience” – that is just a lie they tell themselves.

      They want to destroy everything.

      1. Ozymandias

        Bingo! Yahtzee! This x 1000.
        Deep down, this is all it is. They can’t create; they can only destroy. It’s not an accident that people wind up in their respective ‘teams’ (statist v. non-statist/compulsion v. voluntary agreement); it’s the difference between one being only capable of destroying (or parasites) vs. those who understand and appreciate acts of creation, which is what happens in voluntary relationships of every kind – particularly of commercial relationships, but not exclusively by any stretch.

        It’s why they hate Rand so vehemently. Her non-fiction explicitly identified the Left for this tendency. They all want to be mid-level apparatchiks.
        “If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever.”

    5. mindyourbusiness

      I think they ought to continue doing what they did. If the ‘ordinary citizens’ aren’t sheep (a possibility) sooner or later they’ll turn on these pismires.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Oh England – that’s how people get run over in the US.

    They don’t have cars with enough ground clearance to run over a protestor in England.

    1. DrOtto

      Also, cars in Europe have to meet pedestrian friendly crash standards.

  9. leon

    “The lights went out on Broadway Saturday night, and Bill de Blasio was a thousand miles away in Iowa. It was the moment that perfectly captured his distracted, ego-driven failure of a mayoralty.

    Bill de Blasio does not care about New York City. He does not care about its people. He does not care about how it’s run. He does not care about you or your taxes, creating jobs or improving lives. All Bill de Blasio cares about is Bill de Blasio.”

    I the only one who thinks that this is a true characterization of Bill, but still think everyone is being a little Bitch about the lights being out for a few hours.

    1. Last winter I was out of power for three days. That was horrible.

      1. Festus

        We have fish tanks and if the power went out in the winter they’d be toast in less than a day, not to mention the water lines.

      2. Chipwooder

        About seven years ago we had a hellacious storm that took out the power for a solid week in July. 90+ degree temps and no A.C. for a week

        1. Rebel Scum

          took out the power for a solid week

          That happened here in central VA when Hurricane Isabel came through. It wasn’t all that bad though, manageable. The thing I worry about as far as power loss is losing during the winter.

          1. Chipwooder

            I missed Isabel, think I was in Japan then.

        2. Spartacus

          After Irma two years ago our power was out for a week, in mid-September south florida. Some of my neighbors were without power for 12 days.
          There’s only so much a room fan can do.

      3. Slammer

        I remember the NYC blackout in 2003. What always amazed me is how quiet it was with no electricity. We’re constantly surrounded by air conditioners, generators, power lines, etc. There is just this constant background hum produced by all those things, and when there’s a blackout it’s just a creepy eerie silence

        1. MikeS

          It sounds like that every night in my yard. It’s glorious.

          1. Slammer

            /jealous

            7 more months and I’m outta here

          2. MikeS

            Where you going?

          3. Slammer

            Coeur d’alene, Idaho

          4. MikeS

            Excellent! I see much silence in your future.

          5. Tejicano

            Now I’m goin’ to go get some peanut butter to go with this jelly. DAYUM – that will be a change.

          6. Tripacer

            Cd’A is a nice place, and they have Selkirk Abby, if you’re into Belgian beer.

        2. l0b0t

          Power was out for 22 days here on Rockaway Beach, after SuperduperStorm Sandy. I grew up on a sailboat and didn’t have electricity until I was a tween, so it wasn’t all that rough for me but wifey is a proud Lawn Guyland JAP and was not terribly enthused about roughing it.

      4. Lachowsky

        2001 ice storm had half the state out of power for 10 or so days. I was 14, so I had a blast driving 4 wheelers in the ice and being out of school for the week.

      5. Had a wind storm here about 10 or so years ago. Knocked out power for 3 days. My wife took my son back to Pa while I stayed at the house. I tried to get some reading done but by candlelight it’s not that great, so I basically went to bed every night at like 9 pm.

    2. Festus

      Yes.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      We lost power for four days. Avg. temp. outside: -15c.

      Woot!

    4. Rhywun

      It’s ridiculous, but I bet the Post had that article already written & was waiting to slap some “event” on top to finally release it.

      1. Not Adahn

        Of course they did. They are a professional journalismistic organization.

  10. Good job, SMITH FAMILY. Show that Yeti who really runs the show ’round these parts.

    1. Festus

      They had to gang up on him, though.

      1. Hey man, the SMITHs are still recovering from the bitter defeat of their attempted coup.

    2. MikeS

      Agreed! SMITH RULES!

  11. Rebel Scum

    The lights went out on Broadway Saturday night, and Bill de Blasio was a thousand miles away in Iowa. It was the moment that perfectly captured his distracted, ego-driven failure of a mayoralty.

    I am pretty sure the mayor doesn’t control the power grid. And I am not sure what the would expect him to do, present for the event or not. And fuck you for making me defend this commie, tyrant-wannabe asshole.

    1. Brett L

      Why let facts stand in the way of a well-deserved kicking?

    2. DrOtto

      There should have been more than this much public outcry over him giving wifey control of millions that just disappeared.

    3. Tejicano

      I would bet that had he been in DC or maybe Boston people would be somewhat less upset – but out in flyover country? Jebus – what is there to be doing out there?

  12. How Minneapolis Freed Itself From the Stranglehold of Single-Family Homes

    Cities across the country are booming, but their growth is exacerbating an already critical lack of affordable housing for the middle class and poor alike. The solutions being proposed in many cities run the gamut from rent control to federal subsidies, but Minneapolis has landed on something even bolder that strikes at the heart of how cities have grown and defined themselves over the past century. Single-family-only neighborhoods, a staple of city and suburban planning, are woven into the DNA of the American dream: the leafy, peaceful street lined with stand-alone houses, green lawns and plenty of elbow room. Minneapolis’ new vision of itself would essentially rewrite that code—reshaping the urban streetscape around walking and mass transit and rebooting the American dream to be more racially and economically inclusive.

    Minneapolis’ new comprehensive plan has drawn praise from divergent political quarters—both Housing Secretary Ben Carson, who visited Minneapolis recently, and the New York Times editorial page. And cities and states with their own growth-driven housing crises are looking to Minneapolis for clues on how to navigate the political shoals inherent in any debate over development and growth. In June, Oregon’s Legislature followed Minneapolis’ lead, approving a bill to end single-family zoning in large cities.

    1. leon

      I like my single family home and strangling the general public.

      1. me too – one of the reasons I live in my neighborhood is get some extra space, reduced traffic, and lower noise. If a bunch of older homes were pulled down or turned into apartments / condos, I would move.

    2. Chipwooder

      Somehow I am certain that progs will fuck up what is a noble cause (eliminating zoning laws)

      1. Gustave Lytton

        It already is. They’re not repealing zoning laws in any meaningful way, just trying to destroy single family homes. It’s demoralization over and over. Get people to accept living as rats is a normal state of affairs.

        1. Chipwooder

          That’s what I would suspect – they don’t want to get rid of zoning entirely, they are just going to use zoning to force their own desired outcome.

    3. Festus

      So the people that don’t want to live cheek-by-jowl with the neighbors move a little further out and then the City extends its boundaries so they move they move further away. Rinse and repeat. We’re on 1/4 and 1/2 acre lots here and that’s too close for my liking.

      1. Rhywun

        Yup, that is how it worked before zoning froze everything in place. There are still old Victorian houses here and there in my neighborhood that is otherwise full of multi-family housing that show what it used to look like in the 19th century.

    4. I’m looking forward to moving to a single-family home as soon as I can.

    5. Rebel Scum

      rebooting the American dream to be more racially and economically inclusive.

      By crowding people into multi-family developments?

    6. Tejicano

      I would be willing to rent out the rabbit-hutch apartment just east of Tokyo where we lived in before we bought our own dwelling – just so they can get the feel for what they are proposing. Japanese also desire to live in their own stand-alone structures – I don’t think there is anything uniquely American about that.

    7. Fourscore

      Hoping MikeS doesn’t put a toll on the Red River Bridge, I can foresee a lot of one way traffic headed that way.

    8. Not Adahn

      So we’re back on the “build housing projects” part of the cycle now. Which means in 2050 it will be time to raze the crime-infested slums.

    9. Pope Jimbo

      Not only will there be more rental property available in Minneapolis, but mean landlords won’t be able to deny rentals to people for piddly things like felony convictions or prior evictions.

      What could go wrong?

      1. AlexinCT

        Virtue signaling while others are forced to take the risks – financially or of bodily harm – is totes cool and an easy way to show you’re so much better than those unwashed deplorable types.

      2. Fourscore

        Government owned and operated. Worked in the USSR

    10. Fuck off, slavers.

  13. Count Potato

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D_gHWEcXUAAeXVC.jpg

    I feel bad for laughing at this.

    1. Chipwooder

      Reminds me of an old Denis Leary bit after he makes a joke about Jesus….”I’m going to hell for that bit…..and you’re all coming with me!”

    2. Festus

      I don’t.

      1. That guy is an absolute legend and made me laugh so damn hard.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Windup monkey relentlessly beats tin drum

    President Trump woke up on Sunday morning, gazed out at the nation he leads, saw the dry kindling of race relations and decided to throw a match on it. It was not the first time, nor is it likely to be the last. He has a pretty large carton of matches and a ready supply of kerosene.

    His Twitter harangue goading Democratic congresswomen of color to “go back” to the country they came from, even though most of them were actually born in the United States, shocked many. But it should have surprised few who have watched the way he has governed a multicultural, multiracial country the last two and a half years.

    When it comes to race, Mr. Trump plays with fire like no other president in a century. While others who occupied the White House at times skirted close to or even over the line, finding ways to appeal to the resentments of white Americans with subtle and not-so-subtle appeals, none of them in modern times fanned the flames as overtly, relentlessly and even eagerly as Mr. Trump.

    ———

    Mr. Trump ritually denies any racial animus or motivations. His fight against illegal immigration, he says, is only about securing the border and protecting the country. He regularly boasts that unemployment among Hispanics and African-Americans has hit record lows. Last week he thanked Robert L. Johnson, the founder of Black Entertainment Television, for crediting his stewardship of the economy.

    “I am the least racist person you have ever met,” he has said more than once.

    But he does not go out of his way to avoid looking like he is, and his string of Twitter posts on Sunday left his own advisers unable or unwilling to defend him. None of six spokespeople for the White House or his campaign initially responded to requests for comment.

    “does not go out of his way to avoid looking like he is”

    I think you mean, “doesn’t kowtow to the hustlers and grievance mongers”.

    If anybody is obsessed with racialism and divisive imaginary distinctions, it’s the left and their PR campaign.

    1. Slammer

      What’s amazing is how many people can’t even read. He said go back to your countries, fix them and then COME BACK and show us how it’s done. It’s trolling, but people at least need to quote it correctly.

      1. Sean

        It’s not amazing, it’s fake news.

        1. AlexinCT

          Exactly. Quoting what Trump actually said makes them look like the idiots they are because his charge is dead on that we have people that come from real shitholes we let come here trying to tell us we are bad. Changing what he says so they can push their narrative however gives them opportunities to tell everyone how bad orange man is.

    2. Festus

      The CBC’s take on this latest outrage yesterday was about as fair and balanced as you might imagine. We’re gonna be Britain soon.

      1. I forgot to be outraged. One moment please.

        ::HUrGLE BAarGLELLE GRUNT!!::

        Okay that’s better. What’s next?

    3. I just love how he managed to get Pelosi defending THE SQUAD and still get said SQUAD to further shit on Pelosi.

      1. Festus

        ‘Member when he dumped that bucket of food into the koi pond on a state visit? Pepperidge farms remembers…

    4. Rebel Scum

      decided to throw a match on it

      I, too, like to get a rise out of people. But I am guessing that you are just taking whatever he said out of context.

      And I noticed a lot of the use of “Mr.” I am pretty sure Trump didn’t go to evil badman dictator school just to be addressed as “Mr.”

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Minneapolis’ new vision of itself would essentially rewrite that code—reshaping the urban streetscape around walking and mass transit and rebooting the American dream to be more racially and economically inclusive.

    Fucking causality- how does it work?

  16. Count Potato

    Are we still shipping Tulip and Brooks?

    Because I’m thinking he is going to show up at the wrong place for the second date.

    1. Festus

      Okay, that was good.

  17. CELEBRATING EVIL: Ex SS soldiers helping to brainwash new generation of Nazis by hosting sick speeches praising Hitler and reliving their WW2 atrocities

    A report by the German security services has found ex-soldiers who served in Adolf Hitler’s elite formations have been touring the country giving speeches praising the Nazi dictator.

    The report said that last year alone there were 60 talks given by the so-called “eyewitnesses”, which were attended by hundreds of far-right extremists listening to vile attempts to re-write history. It was originally thought the activity was centred on the city of Chemnitz, which has been a focal point of far-right activity in in recent years. But according to the report, the ex-soldiers have been travelling throughout Germany.

    The talks are given by around half a dozen of the former Waffen SS members who are now in their 90s.

    They include the 91-year-old Klaus Grotjahn from Bielefeld, who served with the 11th SS Volunteer Division ‘Nordland’.

    Richard Neubrech, 92, formerly of the 3rd SS Panzer Division ‘Totenkopf’, which took part in the brutal suppression of the Warsaw Ghetto in 1943 has also given talks.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      HUNDREDS!

      Yes, it is sad that anyone shows up to these talks, but hundreds in a nation of 80M isn’t a wildfire of support.

    2. AlexinCT

      I thought this shit was illegal in Germany…

    3. Rebel Scum

      far-right extremists

      Socialists are “far-right”?

      1. Nephilium

        Well they fought with Communists, right?

    4. l0b0t

      There is a wonderful jazz bar in New Orleans that was opened in ’69 by a jazz fanatic who immigrated to the US after the war. One night we were all getting soused (this place had the very first Jagermeister machine in the US) and the subject of proms, balls, and formals came up. We turned to our kind old host and asked him what his prom was like. He took a long sip of his beer, set down his glass and sighed. Cracking a wry smile he chortled and said – “Prom? When I was 16, we were marching across Poland.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    And cities and states with their own growth-driven housing crises are looking to Minneapolis for clues on how to navigate the political shoals inherent in any debate over development and growth.

    “How do we ram this down the throats of people who are adamantly opposed to it?”

    1. AlexinCT

      Listen to the top men already you fucking unwashed serfs!

  19. Count Potato

    “Egyptian professor of Hebrew at King Saud University: To this day, orthodox Jews continue to sacrifice Gentiles to make matzoh with their blood”

    https://twitter.com/johnpaulpagano/status/1150574155785560065

    That doesn’t sound kosher.

    1. What are the number of non-Jewish Glibs who have returned from OMWC’s house? It must be zero. Or a half.

      1. AlexinCT

        Vegetarian, my ass…

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Does eating just the cellulite from a thicc ass still count as vegetarianism? It isn’t technically meat.

          1. AlexinCT

            Careful your holiness unless what you are going for is to start another internet spat like the one we had a while back between two vegan girls where one was telling the other that because she gobbled man meat she was not a true vegan….

      2. bacon-magic

        I have. I smelled of bacon so maybe that’s like the garlic repels vampires thing.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      King Saud university? Sounds made up.

      Like Glibertarian University.

        1. AlexinCT

          Who teaches the PhD level classes? Tulpa?

          1. Chipwooder

            “…emeritus professor of Wifebeating at King Saud University

        2. Other courses:

          Deep Dish Pizza: Real or Fiction 105
          You Know Who Else 101
          Monocle Polishing 104, 210, 305
          Orphan Farming 210
          ANCIENT HISTORY OF STEVE SMITH
          MODERN HISTORY OF STEVE SMITH

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            Medieval Zardoz poetry.

          2. ElspethFlashman

            Dang it, this makes me want pizza.

  20. My relative constantly reminds that my husband had sex with a friend

    Dear Carolyn:

    Once many years ago, my spouse had a brief sexual affair with a friend of ours, then came clean to me and cut ties with the friend. We went to therapy and worked through the issues that led to the affair and came out of it with what I believe is a much stronger marriage. We have since had a child, bought a house, and adopted pets together — our bond is strong and we are not planning to break up.

    Yet a certain relative of mine — one we see very often — insists on treating my spouse like a flight risk. This relative was one of the only people I confided in after I found out about the affair because I thought he could be trusted to help me retain objectivity as we decided what to do about it. Instead, he is actively making it harder for me to emotionally move on, and every time we are around each other I have to suffer through reminders of that difficult time.

    How do I get another person to believe what I now believe — that my marriage is stronger for the affair and that my spouse is not an evil person who can never be trusted again?

    1. Festus

      Sounds to me like her “kissin’ cousin” still carries a torch for the young lady.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I was going to writer earlier, ‘sounds like Cousin It wants to fuck Carolyn’s brains out’.

        Great minds…..eh?

    2. leon

      Sounds like her cousin wants to sleep with her

    3. ElspethFlashman

      Yeah my advice: stop hanging with the guy, (he doesn’t want you to move on, obviously) and there’s no need to tell anyone else. Because their reaction is never what you expect or hope for.

    4. Not Adahn

      We have since had a child, bought a house, and adopted pets together

      Putting the most important item on a list at the end makes me feel sorry for the kid.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    one of the reasons I live in my neighborhood is get some extra space, reduced traffic, and lower noise. If a bunch of older homes were pulled down or turned into apartments / condos, I would move.

    I personally don’t like single use zoning, but I recognize that it is something a lot of people like and want. I would vigorously advocate for the *opportunity* for people to have a multi-use option available to them. I like the idea of an “industrial ghetto” area where people have living/working space all under the same roof. It’s not for everybody, but it’s what I prefer. Don’t force it on people, but don’t make it illegal, for crying out loud.

    1. Tejicano

      As far as I understand, and from the evidence of how things are here, Japan does not have any zoning laws like we have in the US. People turn homes into restaurants, shops, dentist offices, and any kind of enterprise. The only limitations seem to be how close they are from a train station and how much foot traffic runs by their property. In most cases I’ve seen they continue to live (usually upstairs) in these buildings even after opening a business in them.

  22. Count Potato

    “It’s Going Down, the main antifa news site, has posted full text of van Spronsen’s manifesto. Addressed to his comrades, he borrows rhetoric from AOC, referring to ICE centers as “concentration camps.” At the end, he encourages comrades “to arm themselves.””

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1150498050323800064

    Did you notice about this guy on the regular news?

    1. Right Wing terrorism!

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Imagine being an adult in a tuque shouting ‘fascist go home!’

      How about you go home? Get hair cut and get a real job. Get it together like your big brother Bob.

      1. AlexinCT

        Fuck that! Real life requires you to be responsible and shit…

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That guy was definitely confused, igniting a propane tank, potentially burning detainees alive, doesn’t sound like the kind of liberation anyone is advocating for.

    4. Festus

      No mention but I don’t really consume mainstream media that much. I read the local rag online and listen to the CBC news reports when I’m on a break at work. I haven’t watched an actual network program except for Netflix and HBO stuff in over a year.

    5. Rebel Scum

      If CNN is representative, I see nothing on their US news page. They do, however, have a prominently placed headline about increased illegal immigration enforcement.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Is it a lie if you believe it?

    As we reported yesterday, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demanded to be sworn in before giving testimony about what she saw when she visited border detention facilities. It was such an “unusual” request that even Democratic Chairman Elijah Cummings thought it slightly over the top. What’s more, a congresswoman (or anyone else for that matter) testifying before a House Committee doesn’t have to be sworn in; it’s already illegal to lie in those circumstances.

    There’s only one reason why AOC wanted to take the oath: for dramatic effect. This wasn’t meant to help anyone else; it was merely to raise her own profile. Sad. Pathetic. Ridiculous.

    To make matters even worse, the radical New York congresswoman then proceeded to repeat her accusation:

    “When these women tell me that they were put into a cell,” she said, “and that their sink was not working, and we tested the sink ourselves and the sink was not working, and they were told to drink out of a toilet bowl — I believed them.”

    There is one minor problem with that accusation: Border Patrol said in a statement that it is not true. The toilets in those centers are purposefully designed not to contain water. They only fill when they’re flushed. AOC has to know this too, but she repeats this malicious accusation nonetheless and even pretends to believe the women who (supposedly, let’s be honest about that too) told it to her.

    At least her bs is so blatant that it can be laughed off.

    1. Plinker762

      So they had to get a swirly just to get a drink! Outrageous

    2. R C Dean

      Under oath, so this sure sounds like perjury to me. At the least, she should be censured. C’mon, Nancy. Let’s see if you pimp hand is strong.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        She may be lying, but how does the BP’s statement prove that? The toilets may be waterless, but what does that have to do with what some slope-browed prison guard tells a detainee?

        If I tell you to go fuck yourself and you get angry, are you going to just ignore the insult if I point out that you are, in fact, not a hermaphrodite, so what I told you to do was physically impossible?

        1. R C Dean

          we tested the sink ourselves and the sink was not working, and they were told to drink out of a toilet bowl — I believed them.

          Has anybody confirmed any of this? Pretty sure at least the first assertion has been disputed by more than just the guards. Ocasio-Cortez has such a long and well-documented history of lying through her teeth about immigration, my default is that she is lying again. Naturally, perjury would need to be proven up (for a censure, I would expect simple preponderance of the evidence, and proof of perjury allows for impeaching the witness by introducing prior false statements).

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Again, I don’t doubt she is lying. What I’m asking is how is the state of the toilets not a complete non-sequitur when it comes to proving what a guard said? That’s all.

          2. R C Dean

            Oh, sure. She makes two separate factual statements, one of which I’m pretty sure (but can’t be arsed to run it down) has been disputed/refuted by third parties.

            I have no idea if anyone has run down the other one (what the guards said). Has anyone even asked the illegals who supposedly said that? I’m perfectly willing to believe they might have, but if the sink is working fine (as has been confirmed, I think), they would have had no occasion to.

            We should honor willingness to take the oath by responding as we would to anyone else who makes highly questionable statements under oath – investigate, and either confirm them or punish her for perjury.

            She’s basically a stunt-Representative anyway, and this was all just another stunt. So far its worked for her.

          3. R C Dean

            To clarify:

            I’m perfectly willing to believe that the guards might have, but if the sink is working fine (as has been confirmed, I think), they would have had no occasion to.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            It would have been helpful had the article actually linked to or cited the BP statement so we could have read it ourselves. It just seems strange to me that the crux of the statement was “the toilets don’t work that way” and not “Joe Agent didn’t say that.”

  24. Right Wingers Now Claim Jesus Was A Free Market Capitalist

    The folks over at PragerU are terrified of the word “socialism” and they’ve gone as far as to say that Jesus Christ himself was definitely not a socialist but instead was a full on free market capitalist. This is an absolutely ridiculous claim, even when they try to give us examples from the Bible with their own unique, reality-warping spin on them. Ring of Fire’s Farron Cousins discusses this.

    Did I ever once hear any priest, nun, deacon, or Monsignor tell us that Jesus was a free market capitalist. And now in all fairness, I never heard them say Jesus was a socialist either. But I did hear countless teachings and readings and all kinds of stuff about how Jesus helped the less fortunate, how Jesus never charged a dime for any of it. That that was never mentioned. And those were the teachings that we learned. Jesus said, hey, take care of one another. Do whatever you have to help the less fortunate, but somehow along the way from my youth, which I’d like to think wasn’t that long ago, somehow Jesus turned from a, hey, help everybody. You can, if you call it socialism, who cares? He turned from that into a totally ein ran free market capitalist Libertarian, at least according to the folks at Prager U,

    1. leon

      Socialism is just sharing and taking care of the poor.

      These people are incredibly stupid or wilfully playing ignorant of the difference between charity and government welfare

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Political socialism steals and enables.

        Dress it up however you choose and call it ‘democratic socialism’ to deceive, but no way in hell would Jesus support that.

        If these clowns think that, then their ignorance is worst than I thought.

        I do find it interesting that the modern left which has rejected Christianity and religion and likely never spent much time reading about it, turn around and preach about what Jesus would do and think.

        Asshat illiterate illiberal all around.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          It does make sense though. It may be by design.

          I’ve been getting reconnected with Christianity lately consuming quite a bit of books about it (insert ‘with extra Tabasco sauce’ in Sylverster’s voice here) and I was reminded how the Church really forms the foundation of modern Western civilization particularly through the progressive clergy.

          And the left hates that so it must destroy and/or rewrite this part of our collective heritage.

          Hence, Jesus was a socialist and so were the Jesuits! Stuff like that.

        2. AlexinCT

          Political socialism steals and enables.

          When government can take a basket of fish and one of bread, and use divine magic to make it multiply so a crowd of over 5000 can be fed, I will take this sort of Jesus was a socialist so we should all go with that shit seriously.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Ugh, I hate it when Christianity is used to advocate a political position. Christ did not come here to lay out a political philosophy on how to run an earthly government institution. He came here to redeem of us of sin and be our living example of God’s love. As Christians we should have better things to do will Jesus’ teachings than try to get our preferred political system in place.

      Bee has us covered as always

    3. Rebel Scum

      Jesus said, hey, take care of one another.

      And yet, I do not recall Jesus instructing you to hold your fellow man a gunpoint to subsidize your existence or centralize control of the means of production.

      1. Tundra

        They always forget that pesky ‘voluntarily’ part.

        Jesus was all about the individual. It’s obvious to any thinking person that he was a libertarian.

        1. commodious spittoon

          We’ll all voluntarily submit when the alternative is being dumped into a mass grave with the rest of the dissidents.

      2. Lucina 16:45 – “Again I say unto you, thou shalt pressure and order Caesar to provide boon and coin to every citizen on the earth with resources acquired from the average citizen with the threat of the sword.”

        It’s right there, my guy. Seems like you failed Bible Studies 101.

    4. wdalasio

      My go-to answer.

      1. wdalasio

        A decent follow-up

    5. Rasilio

      While Jesus was neither a Socialist nor a Free Market Capitalist there is a hell of a lot more evidence to support the view that he would generally be in the same political compass Quadrant as Authoritarian Socialists than there is to make him into some kind of free market or even libertarian type.

      He was totally ok with government authority and explicitly told people not to fight earthly authorities and that taxes were legitimate and proper to pay. On the individual front, while he did not come out with a ringing endorsement of slavery he clearly supported it by on many cases telling slaves to obey their masters and even going so far as to define the limits of how much slave owner could beat his slave and still be ok with God. If God/Jesus actually considered the individual human LIFE to be uniquely valuable in any way shape or form Jesus would have come out with a blanket condemnation of slavery. In reality what Jesus’s message was is that your life here on earth is irrelevant so who cares whether you are a slave or a king and whatever happens to you is gods will so if you are a slave be a good slave because that is what god wants you to be. Ideas like Freedom and individual rights simply are not supported by the Bible no matter how much folks like Jordan Peterson try to say they are.

      Finally, at the end of the day, the Jesus of the bible is realistically not compatible with classical liberalism or any of it’s children

      So yeah, whi

  25. Pope Jimbo

    Minnesoda’s Lefty Paper has a sad

    Despite their constant assurances that Special K was going to be the bestest candidate ever, it looks like she won’t make the next debate.

    Polling consistently in the low single digits, far behind the leaders, the Minnesota senator has taken out a slew of Facebook ads and dispatched hometown supporters across the Twin Cities pleading for small dollar contributions to reach a minimum threshold of individual donors to qualify for the critical third round of debates in September.

    The Democratic National Committee has given candidates until Aug. 28 to meet its fundraising and polling criteria for the Sept. 12-13 debate in Houston. To be included, candidates must reach at least 2% support in at least four national or early primary state polls from the end of June to the end of August. And they must amass at least 130,000 individual campaign donors.

    To date, Klobuchar’s campaign has not hit either mark.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      BTW, I love the fact that she is using Facebook to try to drum up support. Why? Because she (and Mark Warner) got a case of the vapors about how easy it was to use Facebook to sway elections with fake news a while back.

      Two Democratic senators recently created a fictitious group to prove just how easy it is to target specific people with fake news.

      Sens. Mark Warner of Virginia and Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota built a group on Facebook and named it “Americans for Disclosure Solutions ” which has the acronym ADS. The senators then paid Facebook to show ads to journalists and staffers on the Hill. The news was first reported by Axios.

      According to data provided to CNBC by Senator Warner’s office, $20 was enough to reach 1,369 Hill staffers in under 24 hours. An additional $20 allowed the fake Facebook group to target 1,407 Washington, D.C.-based journalists, a spokesperson for the Senator’s office explained.

      I guess now that she has no real money it is a good thing that she can buy a bunch of FB ads dirt cheap? I doubt she could afford much TV air time or radio ads. Maybe she should get herself a Ruskie campaign manager?

      1. DOOMco

        I thought all it took was a dozen ads on Facebook to sway an election.

      2. Rhywun

        how easy it is to target specific people with fake news

        I ‘member when we used to call this “advertising”.

        1. DOOMco

          Did you know every car holds the JD Power award for ____?

      3. I spent $13 on Facebook ad for an honest-to-goodness fake news site.

        Reached over 2k people.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      They like a person who throws binders at staffers?

      Nice people.

      1. Drake

        Unfortunate that her true personality tends to bleed through the facade.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          We couldn’t get to Polly’s Pancakes. But it was 25 miles from where we were staying. An effort was made.

          1. Drake

            Maybe next time. Nice country around there or what?

            My dream is to retire to a small farm / militia compound somewhere just beyond those mountains.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Really nice. We enjoyed it. Stayed at the Glen House Hotel. It had been a while since I’ve been to that part of NH.

            We drove up Mt. Was visited the falls. Headed out to North Conway.

    3. Sean

      A slew of Facebook ads? Is she a Russian plant?

    4. Festus

      It doesn’t help her cause that she appears to have all the personality of an un-salted cracker with a dusting of MSG.

      1. Tundra

        She’s a nothing. Her old man was a beloved, drunken ‘journalist’ here in town.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      A trio of twats.

      1. Festus

        *honk, honk*

      2. A congregation of cunts.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          A vat of vaginas.

          1. Tundra

            A clutch of cooters.

          2. AlmightyJB

            A clan of coochies

          3. DOOMco

            No one did bunch of beavers yet?

          4. AlmightyJB

            A clitora of clitori

          5. bacon-magic

            A cluster of clams

        2. Sean

          A calamity…

          1. Festus

            Of Clams.

        3. ElspethFlashman

          A patch of snatch?

          1. AlexinCT

            Now that’s what I call thinking outside of “the box”….

      3. Is this the final for Shitlord 101?

    2. Grummun

      Zahra Billoo promotes conspiracy theories that the FBI secretly recruits mentally ill people to be terrorists in the U.S.

      That’s a conspiracy theory? I thought that was a well established FBI practice. If you want to rustle some tin foil, then how about “the two clowns in Boston and the guy in Las Vegas were FBI ops that got out of control.”

    1. +1 a pimp’s love…

      1. AlexinCT

        Up Vote!

  26. The Late P Brooks

    No thanks, I’m driving

    Anheuser Busch InBev NV (AB InBev) (ABI.BR), the world’s largest brewer, dramatically shelved the initial public offering (IPO) of its Asian business on Friday, citing market conditions among other factors.

    After a week-long global roadshow, the shares had been due to price in New York on Thursday evening and to begin trading in Hong Kong later this week.

    The deal was expected to raise $8.3 billion to $9.8 billion for AB InBev, helping the heavily indebted brewer reduce its leverage, and giving Budweiser APAC a market capitalization of $54 billion to $64 billion.

    ———-

    “This is likely a case of valuation push-back, not market conditions,” said Kathleen Smith, founding principal at Renaissance Capital, a U.S.-based research firm and manager of IPO-focused exchange-traded funds, who noted that returns from IPOs had generally been strong this year.

    “It’s worth HOW MUCH? The hell you say.”

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Polling consistently in the low single digits, far behind the leaders, the Minnesota senator has taken out a slew of Facebook ads and dispatched hometown supporters across the Twin Cities pleading for small dollar contributions to reach a minimum threshold of individual donors to qualify for the critical third round of debates in September.

    She should hook up with some Russian troll farm, if she wants to get that campaign moving.

  28. Orgasmic meditation – it’s a real thing

    What if there was a way to help slow everything down, be more present and well, enjoy more of the overall journey?

    Enter: Orgasmic Meditation.

    Practitioners of Orgasmic Meditation – or simply, OM – describe it as a partnered consciousness and wellness practice. OM involves a “stroker” (who can be of any gender) and a “strokee” (a person with a clitoris). For 15 minutes, the stroker touches their partner’s clitoris until the time is up. The goal isn’t sex. Instead, the only thing either person is doing is allowing themselves to be present in the moment. OM is something you can do if you’re in a relationship or with a friend – and yes, this is totally a real thing.

    Yoga, meditation, mindful eating – we’ve heard of. However, if stroking genitals as a wellness activity sounds strange to you, you’re not alone. Marissa Ward, is an orgasmic meditation and wellness professional had a similar reaction when she was introduced to OM five years ago.

    1. Tejicano

      Ah! The sound of one hand clapping!

      1. ElspethFlashman

        You mean “fapping,” not clapping.

        1. For women I believe the term is “schlicking”.

          1. AlexinCT

            Erm, do tell…

    2. AlexinCT

      Is this what gave SF the idea to coin the term Title IX clit flickers?

    3. Women getting their bean flicked = Much brave. So empower.
      Men getting a tug job = SLEAZY TOXIC MEN

      Also: “a person with a clitoris”? Fucking hell, this is a semi-mainstream publication, not a fucking DU thread. *smh*

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      if stroking genitals as a wellness activity sounds strange to you

      Well, joke’s on you! I call that 3 PM.

    5. Rasilio

      15 minutes?

      That’s just the warmup period right?

  29. DOOMco

    This new job has me sorting through the old locksmith office.
    No one has been here in at least 6 months, from what the maintenance guys are saying.

    Should be fun!

    1. leon

      Did they give you the keys to get in?

      1. Tundra

        No, that was the first test.

      2. DOOMco

        Eventually someone found the key.

        I’ve got some work cut out for me. Luckily this campus is small and I think I can get them under a decent master system for cheap.
        The locks are good, and I can rekey pretty fast.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          master system

          Campus freakout over problematic language in 3…2…1….

          1. DOOMco

            I did stop calling the user/change keys slaves…
            I hoped that was enough to avoid an HR meeting.

          2. Pope Jimbo

            You plan probably would have worked too if you hadn’t called them “dark keys” instead of slaves.

          3. That’s a rather niggardly observation.

          4. Not Adahn

            *claps quietly so nobody hears*

          5. R C Dean

            I’d go with “keys of color”, or KOCs, for the user keys. And “keys of privilege”, or KOPs, for the master keys.

            “Sorry, you don’t have the privilege of having a KOP. You’ll have to settle for some KOCs.”

  30. Tundra

    Good morning, Swiss and the rest of you Yeti-haters.

    Don’t sleep on Yeti, he’ll be back.

    Thanks for the lynx, especially the watermelon one. Mmmm. watermelon.

    Hot, Hot, Hot!

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Uffda. You are always such a sucker for the next Great White Hope

  31. Youth will pay for legalizing marijuana

    If the Rocky Mountain and Northwest HIDTA reports aren’t enough to make a person pause when considering the societal impacts of marijuana legalization on our youth, then perhaps the May 20 segment, “Potent Pot,” by Target 12 investigative reporter Tim White will change their mind.

    The segment discussed the current uptick of marijuana vaporizers being used within Rhode Island schools.

    In this past school year more than a few Rhode Island students had to be taken away by an ambulance after having an “adverse reaction to potent levels of THC,” one of which was described as an “overdose call” by the Coventry Fire Department.

    In May, GoLocalProv published a study that showed Rhode Island having the highest percentage of teenage drug users throughout the country.

    Prevention Science, as well as common sense, would suggest limiting access and availability of any drug.

    Legalizing marijuana would do just the opposite — and our youth will pay the highest price.

    1. Tundra

      I’m sure they went on to describe the efforts being undertaken to educate the youngsters on the importance of personal responsibility, right?

    2. DOOMco

      Everyone knows that when the pot was illegal, no one ever hit a grav bong made out of an old two liter and thought they fucking died.

      My general experience seeing people in Colorado was that some people went a little too hard the first month or so. Then they stopped trying to be the coolest kid on the block and everything was fine.

    3. REEFER MADNESS!!!

    4. leon

      “Prevention Science, as well as common sense, would suggest limiting access and availability of any drug.”

      Has prevention science ignored the drug ear?

      1. leon

        War.

        Why does autocorrect change words from real ones to other ones?

        1. pan fried wylie

          Because Fuck You Tha… *INTERUPTED BY UNSCHEDULED MANDATORY UPDATES*

      2. DOOMco

        No one under 21 has ever had any booze.
        Ever. It’s science.
        They also never get too drunk.

    5. pistoffnick

      “Everybody knows that tokin’ aint allowed in school!”

    6. Rasilio

      Prevention Science, as well as common sense, would suggest limiting access and availability of any drug.

      Even if true, please show ANY evidence that making it illegal actually works to limit access and availability of ANYTHING

  32. The Late P Brooks

    We don’t need you

    Gov. Andrew Cuomo warned on Sunday that Con Edison “does not have a franchise granted by God” and “can be replaced” as the power company admitted it still couldn’t explain why a blackout struck a large swath of Midtown Manhattan.

    In a series of TV and radio interviews, Cuomo blasted Con Ed’s performance following Saturday’s outage and threatened to revoke its state-issued operating license.

    ——-

    Con Ed President Timothy Cawley said the utility — currently seeking permission for a rate increase — had no idea what caused the “cascading or sort of the widespread nature of the failure” that began when workers at a power-transmission station on West 59th Street saw “a number of breakers open up” at 6:47 p.m. Saturday.

    There was “no indication at all” that it was the result of a cyber or “physical” attack, Cawley said.

    And while the evening temperatures were warm, he said, “in terms of the peak demands that Manhattan exhibits on those hottest weekdays, the demand was very low.”

    Just think how efficiently the City of New York could run that power distribution system. They can stop wasting money on dumb shit like profits and shareholder value, and buy more windmills.

    1. Drake

      He should ask his Dad why they don’t have a nice safe nuclear plant nearby with utterly reliable, cheap, clean power on tap.

      1. Rhywun

        I’m not dead yet! Though I am on life support.

        It’s going to get really interesting around here when that closes in a couple years and there is nothing to replace 25% of the city’s energy.

        1. Drake

          Rolling blackouts during concerts? Or just ban air conditioning.

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            Give them a sweet taste of socialism.

          2. Drake

            Heat equality for all!

    2. Brett L

      You know, a dozen or two pebble bed thorium reactors in various skyscraper basements around Manhattan would basically fix the problem forever.

      1. Drake

        Good one!

    3. Didn’t the shithead already get rid of LILCO with no noticeable effect?

  33. Mammary Monday starts your week off with beautiful bodacious bods and bountiful boobs!

    https://bit.ly/2LmkPpu

    1. 11, 12, 29, 43, 63. Whew boi, thanks Q.

  34. ‘Hitler was right!’ scrawled on Melbourne wall

    Less than two weeks after a Jewish-owned cafe in Chadstone was vandalised with swastikas and Holocaust-denying messages, passers-by spotted the words “Hitler was right!” spray-painted on a wall in Ashwood, accompanied by a swastika.

    The words “Hitler youth” were discovered nearby.

    In a statement to The AJN, a spokesperson for Victoria Police said its investigation into the incidents “remains ongoing”.

    “Every Victorian has the right to feel safe and secure in the community and in practising their faith, pursuing their values, beliefs and interests,” the spokesperson said.

    “Victoria Police does not tolerate violence and takes all crime seriously, including that which is motivated by prejudice, racism or discrimination.”

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Hitler was right…..

      ….dill does add flavourful flair to potatoes!

    2. Rebel Scum

      “Hitler was right!”

      About what?

      1. Cyanide and Lead works?

      2. Tundra

        GSDs are fantastic pets?

      3. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance!

        1. AlexinCT

          I knew that fucking annoying Gecko was a closet Nazi!

      4. MikeS

        The trains can run on time?

      5. Chipwooder

        Wagner is a great composer?

      6. B.P.

        Mountain villas make wonderful vacation spots!

      7. bacon-magic

        Art is a better career than politics?

    3. The Other Kevin

      This is most likely a very small group of actual neo-Nazis, some kids fucking around, or a mentally unstable person. But “NAZIS ARE ON THE RISE” is a lot more exciting, so let’s go with that.

      This is no less of a conspiracy theory then chemtrails or tin foil hats.

      1. Rebel Scum

        some kids fucking around

        That’s my guess.

        1. Chipwooder

          It was Russell Crowe doing some guerilla marketing for Romper Stomper 2

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            Didn’t know Mr. Crowe got into making porn.

        2. Drake

          Yep – they got the breathless reaction they were hoping for.

    4. Drake

      Europe should be united and lead by Germans!

  35. The Late P Brooks

    “Every Victorian has the right to feel safe and secure in the community and in practising their faith, pursuing their values, beliefs and interests,” the spokesperson said.

    Not Nazis, though. They’re a bunch of assholes.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Unintentional candor

    Netroots Nation, a conference that’s been around since the early 2000s, is run by the liberal political blog Daily Kos and typically draws a few thousand progressive activists, organizers, and strategists. It offers three days of programming led by policy advocates and lawmakers, and panel topics range from felon disenfranchisement and the Green New Deal to embracing “Hijabi power.” In Seinfeld-ian terms, Netroots is the Bizarro version of the annual Conservative Political Action Conference for conservative activists: It’s chaotic and diverse, with crunchy, co-op vibes.

    Haha, “programming”.

    They all love Elizabeth Warren. Dreamy, she is.

  37. The Late P Brooks
    1. AlmightyJB

      I’m shocked. The media’s one and two are now the lefts one and two. Could be either.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Voters’ attraction to Warren could be rooted in her rapid-fire release of plans for what she’d do as president. Or it could be simpler than that. “I really feel like she would throw herself in front of a bus for us,” Sullivan said. “There’s nobody who’s more earnest.”

    1) I think she’d gladly throw YOU under that bus, if it suited her vision of Utopia, pal. And expect you to thank her for it.

    2) Save me from earnest do-gooders. They’re more dangerous than anybody.

  39. wdalasio

    I really don’t understand the kerfuffle about Trump’s tweet that Ilhan Omar should return to Somalia. Libertarians and ancaps get told they should move to Somalia on a weekly basis.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Either way, Trump should know better.

      Don’t make a martyr out of that anti-American, illiberal, illiterate lunatic.

      1. wdalasio

        Meh! Trump could say something as innocuous as “Good morning, it looks like we’re having really nice weather today.” and these loons would make themselves martyrs out of it. And the funniest part of the whole thing is watching the same people who defended the loons’ antisemitism try to contort themselves here.

      2. R C Dean

        Yeah, I usually enjoy his baiting of the simple-minded (I’m a bad person, it is known). But that was just a bad miscalculation. As we have seen, too easily edited into something worse than it was.

        I do find Omar, in particular, a thoroughly reprehensible human being. Too bad the Dems and their buttboys in the media have decided to cover for her grotesque anti-Semitism and blatant fraud (certainly tax fraud, also immigration fraud and/or loand/wire fraud?).

    2. Drake

      She really does seem to prefer it there. Imagine an Italian immigrant walking around a century ago constantly complaining about America, telling people how much better it was in the old country, and trying to shame them for not assimilating to his / her culture and crazy beliefs. Suggestions to return home would be the mildest reaction I can imagine.

    3. AlmightyJB

      “Democrat Congresswomen” should go back and fix the “corrupt” and “crime infested places” they came from and then “come back and show us how it’s done.”

      He could have just as well meant their districts

      1. Urthona

        That would’ve been a smarter tweet.

    4. MikeS

      And this from him today:

      When will the Radical Left Congresswomen apologize to our Country, the people of Israel and even to the Office of the President, for the foul language they have used, and the terrible things they have said. So many people are angry at them & their horrible & disgusting actions!

      And here’s WaPo’s headline for it:

      Trump calls on minority congresswomen to apologize after he said they should ‘go back’ to their countries

      And yet they get so butt-hurt when they are called fake-news.

      1. Urthona

        Trump is such a terrible writer. Makes me cringe.

  40. The dating algorithm that gives you just one match
    The Marriage Pact is designed to help college students find their perfect “backup plan.”

    The idea was to match people not based solely on similarities (unless that’s what a participant values in a relationship), but on complex compatibility questions. Each person would fill out a detailed survey, and the algorithm would compare their responses to everyone else’s, using a learned compatibility model to assign a “compatibility score.” It then made the best one-to-one pairings possible — giving each person the best match it could — while also doing the same for everyone else.

    McGregor and Sterling-Angus read through academic journals and talked to experts to design a survey that could test core companionship values. It had questions like: How much should your future kids get as an allowance? Do you like kinky sex? Do you think you’re smarter than most other people at Stanford? Would you keep a gun in the house?

    Then they sent it to every undergraduate at their school. “Listen,” their email read. “Finding a life partner is probably not a priority right now. You hope things will manifest naturally. But years from now, you may realize that most viable boos are already hitched. At that point, it’s less about finding ‘the one’ and more about finding ‘the last one left.’ Take our quiz, and find your marriage pact match here.”

    You know who else made a pact…

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      The Free State Project?

    2. Chipwooder

      Jerry and George?

    3. DOOMco

      Charlie and Mac?

    4. Tundra

      Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer?

    5. So we’re going back to pseudo-arranged marriages, just based on an algorithm rather than your relatives’ judgement.

    6. AlmightyJB

      Pussies all the same.

    7. AlmightyJB

      Jackson 5?

    8. Rasilio

      Uh, that used to be how OK Cupid worked before Match bought them.

      While the old OKC algorithim was better than Match’s (that is the high percentage matches were likely people I might have considered dating where as today I don’t think I’ve seen a match percentage above 80 that I didn’t have to rule out for being overly woke) I never really saw much evidence that it had any relationship success predictive power

    9. Molotov and Ribbentrop?

  41. PieInTheSky

    Hello from the land of intermitent internet. I lyckly cought all my connections and as such I am on islay and not in the wilderness. I am two beers and 3 drams in. Am currently enjoying a caol ila cask strength distilery exclusive at 60% after previously tried a 17 year old bownore feis isle special at 48%

    1. Tundra

      Slàinte mhath, you lucky, lucky man!

      I hope the trip is a smashing success!

      1. PieInTheSky

        I am not lucky i am spending beyond my means

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Drink your cares away then!

        2. Tundra

          Travel doesn’t count. It’s what money is for.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Have a great trip. I’ll be in Chicago few a few days starting tomorrow. Plan on plenty of drinking this week as well:) Salute!

      1. Nephilium

        The girlfriend is going to Las Vegas with her aunt for a weekend coming up. It just so happens to coincide with the Irish cultural festival, a friend’s Christmas in July party, an Old Forrester single barrel release, and the Taste of Tremont festival. It’s going to be a busy weekend (thankfully, I took Monday off of work).

        1. Tundra

          Shouldn’t that be Irish “cultural” festival?

          1. R C Dean

            No need for scare quotes. Yeast cultures are still cultures.

          2. Like the vagina beer?

  42. Spartacus

    Once again the Babylon Bee proves that it is 10^250000 times better then the onion:

    https://babylonbee.com/news/police-officer-claims-he-feared-for-his-life-when-he-shot-familys-roomba

    1. AlmightyJB

      This could actually happen

    2. Tundra

      They always have a perfect close, too. I won’t spoil it, but it’s fucking brilliant!

      1. R C Dean

        That’s the hard part, too.

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      …Police officer safety is our number one priority when we’re out in the field.”

      “Uh, I mean, other than your safety, of course,” he quickly added.

      There’s always a tell that it’s satire.

    4. Chipwooder

      The picture is gold.

    5. Juvenile Bluster

      Are we sure this one’s satire?

    6. The Other Kevin

      They hit all the right points. One of those writers must at least be lurking here.

    7. Dat photoshop tho. (angle on the Roomba is too steep!)

  43. The Late P Brooks

    i am spending beyond my means

    We’ll make a Democrat out of you yet, Pie.

  44. l0b0t

    Quick question for y’all who knowledgeable about the vino. My wife likes pinot grigio, while I know nothing at all about wine and tend to look for a nice label. What would be y’all’s recommendations for some in the roughly $40 – $100 range?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      Anything in a box is a great pick.

      1. l0b0t

        The Black Box (IIRC) brand is her usual; I was hoping to see if something a bit fancier existed. Seriously, the wine section causes me agita like you wouldn’t believe. I’m fine shopping for beer, corn liquor, cordials, and such but wines shake my confidence and I look like a weirdo at the store (well, more so).

    2. PieInTheSky

      Thats a lot of money for a pinot grigio. Never spent more than 18 for that grape so can’t help you

      1. l0b0t

        Thanks. Her usual is about $25 (NYC prices). Have a great time on your trip.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Pinot Grigios are cheap (I don’t drink, but my mom’s a vinoholic). You’d have to try hard to find one in that price range.

      I actually bought her a bottle of this for her last birthday and she loved it. FWIW. https://www.totalwine.com/wine/white-wine/pinot-grigio-pinot-gris/anne-de-k-pinot-gris-schlossberg-grand-cru/p/132105750?s=926&igrules=true

      1. l0b0t

        Thank you. This is the sort of info I was seeking; I had no idea if there was a fancy version or not.

    4. Rebel Scum

      There is no need to spend that much. And Pinot Grigio is not wine. It is sugar-water laced with alcohol.

      1. Chipwooder

        Nah, there are much sweeter whites than pinot grigio (riesling, moscato). Some of them can be fairly dry.

    5. Spartacus

      When we get a pinot grigio, it’s usually Santa Margherita (sp?) if I remember correctly. Usually about $18 around here, it’s very light in color and very crisp.
      My wife will drink it, and she usually hates white wines because they are too sweet for her.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    This job sucks. I want to keep it forever.

    As for what the workers want, it’s the same as it was before: less pressure. “The biggest ask we have is to have Amazon reduce the speeds that we have to work,” said Stolz. “It is physically, mentally exhausting. That leads into other issues like injuries, since you have to do things very fast, and with repetitive motions, all day long.”

    There’s also the issue of job security. Not only because these sorts of jobs aren’t the kind people can do for long periods of time, but because Amazon has been outsourcing them to temporary workers. “For 2019, all of the new hires in the building have been using temp workers rather than direct hires,” said Stolz. “The temps are doing the same exact job as us, but they don’t have the same job security.” Temps, he said, are often demoralized, and told things like ‘You’re replaceable.’ It creates a second class of workers,” he added.

    When Stolz asked someone in Amazon’s Learning Department, which is in charge of training new hires, why Amazon was only hiring temps, he received a rather chilling answer. “His exact words to me were ‘To increase turnover in the building,’” said Stolz. “Can you believe that? My eyes widened, I was so surprised. The person began to rephrase and backtrack and said it was to ‘get new energy in the building’. Right. Sure.”

    Amazon told Bloomberg that around 90 percent of the employees at Shakopee are full-timers, and that some temps do get promoted to staff. Still, Stolz said that they should just cut out the temp part of it. “Just let people come on as a regular worker,” he said.

    And, while you’re at it, pay us fifty bucks an hour, and eliminate productivity requirements. Because justice.

    1. Rebel Scum

      A lefty acquaintance went on an anti-Amazon bent on fb* awhile back. He apparently knows someone who worked there and developed some issue from being on his feet all day on work days. He also bitched about pay/bennies and such. I asked a simple, relevant question that he could not answer: “What were the terms of his employment?”.

      *I haven’t been on in months and it has been great.

    2. R C Dean

      Amazon told Bloomberg that around 90 percent of the employees at Shakopee are full-timers, and that some temps do get promoted to staff. Still, Stolz said that they should just cut out the temp part of it. “Just let people come on as a regular worker,” he said.

      People are stupid. You bring in temps to handle high-volume spikes. You want less pressure on the regular employees, the last thing you do is stop using temps.

      Oh, you want Amazon to hire more employees than it actually needs? Welcome to your flex schedule, where you don’t know in advance how much you will work any given week (or day). Hope you can get by with part-time work scattered through your schedule. And kiss that OT good-byte.

      1. Rasilio

        There is another reason to bring in temps that is likely why Amazon is doing it

        1. Rasilio

          You run a constant 90/10 mix of full timers and temps.

          Work slows down some, you get rid of a few temps no big deal and no impact to your unemployment insurance

          Work spikes some, and step one is more hours and higher productivity quotas but eventually you can bring in more temps to fill gaps and then release them once the spike is over,

          More importantly, when a FTE needs to be replaced you hire one of your top temps, you never hire in new from the outside.

          Meanwhile since you are tracking the productivity of everyone all the time, the bottom 50% of temps don’t get their contracts renewed.

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      His exact words to me were ‘To increase turnover in the building,

      He then went on to say “because these jobs are so simple.”

    4. Lachowsky

      Boo fucking hoo. Everywhere I have worked in the past 10 years has used temps to stabilize the workforce. It’s common practice.

      When I was 18 I hired on at a manufacturing plant as a temp worker. I busted my ass and got hired on full time a few months later. I have been on a good career track ever since.

    5. Tundra

      Temps, he said, are often demoralized, and told things like ‘You’re replaceable.’ It creates a second class of workers,” he added.

      Lol. CEOs are replaceable, dumbass.

      1. Spartacus

        Everyone is replaceable. If there is someone who cannot be replaced, you have a structural weakness.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Some of these changes, however, didn’t come about until Amazon came under fire from politicians such as Vermont senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, whose “Stop BEZOS” act spurred the company to raise its minimum wage to $15 an hour. Which sounds good, but in doing so, Amazon took away employee monthly bonuses and stopped issuing new stock grants to employees. Some say that this actually leads to less pay overall.

    You mean “productivity” bonuses? Rewarding hard work? We can’t allow that. It’s not fair.

  47. It’s never sit right with me that the State had the authority to end someone’s life through supposed due process, no matter how much some people deserve it.

    https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/428361-red-states-move-to-end-death-penalty

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      That and I don’t trust the state to (a) get it right, and (b) admit when they have it wrong (see: The number of cases where the state fights against post-conviction DNA testing). See also: The number of cases where the state fights against a new trial/new sentencing after post-conviction DNA testing shows the person convicted had no relation to the crime.

    2. Urthona

      It don’t think they should.

      Only I should have that power.

      1. Guns don’t kill people, Urthona kills people.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Fear the pickle

    3. The Other Kevin

      There goes Team Red again, taking away the State’s right to choose.

    4. Semi-Spartan Dad

      I’ll put forth the counterpoint that it doesn’t sit right with me for the State to forcibly take money out of my pockets to keep pieces of shit alive, clothed, and fed for decades. Take the guy who was recently arrested for raping an infant to death. As long as there is no virtually no chance of a false conviction (i.e., body fluid found inside the dead infant), I would argue it’s more immoral to have my pockets continuously lightened to keep this animal alive indefinitely.

      To me at least, there’s not even the slightest question that an infant rapist needs to be put down. If we don’t want to authorize the state to do it in the cases where there’s no chance of a false conviction, then I think allowing families to take back control of justice may need to be reopened as an option.

      1. Drake

        Same here – except they went and made it more expensive to kill a criminal than it is to lock them up for a lifetime. That’s moved my position to “whatever”.

      2. R C Dean

        I’m kinda with SSD. Not a big fan of the death penalty, but I think there are unquestionably cases where it should be administered reasonably promptly.

        When you get right down to it, I guess, I don’t think human life is actually the ultimate value in the universe. And I’ll bet I’ve got a lot of company on that point. We tend to scoff at “if it saves just one life”, after all. Maybe I’ll do a post on it someday,

    5. Heroic Mulatto

      SHUT THE FUCK UP, LIBTARD!

      1. I have been owned. Now I go to corner of shame.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    It’s never sit right with me that the State had the authority to end someone’s life through supposed due process, no matter how much some people deserve it.

    Revenge murder, by proxy.

    1. R C Dean

      I swear I saw something along the lines of the recent “spate” of deaths is only slightly above expected.

      But facts are never a match for a good moral panic.

      1. The Other Kevin

        I looked it up a few weeks ago. The number of deaths from January-June of this year is right about average. I’ve read about this type of phenomena and I’m finding the whole thing to be very interesting.

    2. Tundra

      The DR PR team is terrible. ALL they had to do was to treat the weird ones seriously and this would be over by now. By doing the “all is well” Kevin Bacon impersonation, the fed the gaping maw of the media retard machine.

      That is assuming there was truly not someone deliberately poisoning the hooch.

  49. Juvenile Bluster

    You know what annoys me about Trump’s latest tweets? I’m not going to get into whether or not they were racist. But fucking A, the Democrats are tearing each other apart and he just has to butt in to bring them all back together.

    1. R C Dean

      I speculate (because who the fuck knows) that he tweeted what he did in order to bring them all together again, united behind their stupid, racist, anti-semitic, anti-American freshmen Reps. On the theory that the best thing for Repubs, especially with swing voters. is keeping “the Squad” as the face of the Dems.

      If he wasn’t a teetotaller, though, I would totally say he was drunk-tweeting, though.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Maybe he gets a fast food high?

    2. Idle Hands

      This type of shit is both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness as a politician. I thought it was retarded he honestly can’t stand being on the sideline of any political food fight he has to be the center of attention at all times.

    3. grrizzly

      He tweets what normal people think but are afraid to say. Not much downside.

  50. commodious spittoon

    The dude is absolutely trolling, but the riffing he inspired is pretty funny.

    1. commodious spittoon

      My favorite: the trolls insisting that the AR in AR-15 stands for ArmaLite, but that the Ar in ArmaLite stands for Assault Rifle.

    2. Raston Bot

      there’s some real gems in there:

      AR-15 … Alan Rickman fell 15 floors in Die Hard.

      1. pan fried wylie

        I couldn’t find dialog mentioning floor numbers in a few seconds of FFWing, but I did hit a shot of Jack prying open an elevator door with the floor marking “32” under it. Pretty sure they mention what floor that vault room is on though, and I don’t recall any awnings halfway down when he drops.

        +5pts for effort, no points for accuracy, would tittle briefly again.

      2. 15 floors? As if. He’s waaaaaay the f up there when the watchband gets undid.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    I hate everybody in this story

    “Bob needs to understand he’s an employee, just the same as the people scrubbing gum off the sidewalk are employees,” Disney said during an interview with the Yahoo News show “Through Her Eyes.” “And they’re entitled to all the same dignity and human rights that he is.”

    ——-

    When asked about the pay disparity between Iger and his staff, a Walt Disney Co. spokesperson touted its education initiative, Disney Aspire, which covers 100 percent of all tuition costs, books and fees. The spokesperson said more than 40 percent of Disney’s 88,000-plus hourly employees have signed up to participate so far.

    “Disney is at the forefront of providing workforce education, which is widely recognized as the best way to create economic opportunity for employees and empower upward mobility,” the spokesperson said.

    The company added: “American workers need meaningful change; they deserve smart policies and practical programs, like Disney Aspire, that empower them to achieve their goals and ensure they are part of the most competitive workforce in the world.”

    This isn’t the first time Abigail Disney has called out Iger for his income. She wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post in April, criticizing the “naked indecency” of his salary. And in May, she spoke on Capitol Hill, imploring members of the House Financial Services Committee to rethink the system that allows CEOs to make so much more than other workers.

    “The system is the problem, and the people inside of the system who are perfectly comfortable with the system are the problem,” Disney told “Through Her Eyes.” “I don’t think any president of the United States has as much power as some CEOs in this country.”

    Blah blah blah kkkapitalism sucks. Let the government run everything.

    1. R C Dean

      And they’re entitled to all the same dignity and human rights that he is

      Absolutely true. And agreeing to take a hard, dirty job does not diminish your dignity and human rights at all. Why is it that the people supposedly standing up for the little guy can’t open their mouths without denigrating them? Saying people with manual labor have less dignity than those who laze around in air-conditioned offices is pretty damn classist, you know.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      To be fair, Abby isn’t the first Disney to have a problem with rich Jews.

      1. I read the Gabler biography, and you have to stretch a good bit to make Walt out to be an anti-semite.

  52. Heroic Mulatto

    Fuck! I want a girl to eat Nature Valley bars over me. I’m so into all of her crumbs falling all over me as I have a fetish for those honey oats. I’ve tried crumbling them over me while I beat off. but it just isn’t the same. I need a girl to crunch them over me as the sound shakes me to my core.

    I’ve talked about this to the girls I’ve been with before and they’ve all been against it. They do not understand my desire for all those little tiny morsels falling on my face and into my ready mouth. I’ve developed a Pavlovian response to the granola bars to the point where my friends will not take me hiking anymore on account of my raging hard on. I have yet to meet someone like me, who is into just Nature Valley bars and no other food.

    I will send any girl .005 BTC just for her to have one single crunch over me while I caress my above average mulatto dick. If you know of any girl out there who is willing to satisfy my grain filled needs, let me know.

    Thank you for attending my TED talk.

    1. Tundra

      *looks around, applauds uncertainly*

    2. Do they have to be Nature Valley, or would you accept some other brand?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        JUST Nature Valley. I’m not some homo who is attracted to Kashi bars.

        Miss me with that gay shit.

        1. Spartacus

          Kashi bars don’t really crumble anyway. Me, I’m gonna stick to Rice Krispie Treats. And they’re gonna stick to me.
          I’ll be in my bunk.

    3. Rebel Scum

      I…I don’t know what’s happening right now.

      1. MikeS

        I know. Isn’t it great?!

    4. I have the strangest boner?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      “Police said now that they can’t set up stings on Backpage, they’ve been able to focus their manpower on investigating reports of prostitution at local massage parlors,” the report said.

      moar undercover stings!

    2. Lachowsky

      Should have named it, “The put whores back into the hands of violent pimps act.”

  53. ChipsnSalsa

    As long as you don’t do it in bed.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      That was for HM’s new kink.

  54. Rebel Scum

    MAHA!

    Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union,” 2020 presidential hopeful, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio said President Donald Trump’s tweet asking why progressive lawmakers to “go back and fix the totally broken and crime-infested places from which they came,” was intended to divide people.

    De Blasio said, “Unfortunately there is an American tradition of telling people to go back where they came from. It’s a very bad tradition that we need to weed out of our nation because we are a nation of migrants, that is who we are by our nature for hundreds of years. But you don’t expect to hear from the president of the United States. So here is the bottom line on what Trump doing with that tweet today, he said he would make America great again, what he’s trying to do is make America hate again. This is another effort to divide people along lines of religion, ethnicity, origin, and create a country where there can’t be unity. ”

    He continued, “He’s doing the most un-presidential thing possible by constantly looking for every way to divide people. But it is a political strategy. Let’s give him points for consistency with that tweet and the ICE raids, Jake, it is all one political strategy to keep people divided to the maximum extent possible and get up his base and take people’s eyes off the other things going on, the fact that so many middle class and working class people are not doing well in America, the fact he’s about to pass a new NAFTA treaty which will continue to hurt Americans. These are the kinds of things that Trump does, he baits and switch all of the time. It is a bait-and-switch move and what it will do is get a lot of people angry because they realize that they’re being lied to about their lives and it is a purposeful attempt to divide people.”

    Sure, Bill.

    1. The Other Kevin

      From a member of the “you have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it” party.

    2. Chipwooder

      I refuse to be lectured at by a fucking Sandinista

  55. The Late P Brooks

    I want a girl to eat Nature Valley bars over me. I’m so into all of her crumbs falling all over me as I have a fetish for those honey oats.

    —–

    I’ve talked about this to the girls I’ve been with before and they’ve all been against it.

    The patriarchy has mercilessly slutshamed girls who eat crackers in bed for so long, their aversion to any such thing is practically hard wired.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      *sigh*

      I was born in the wrong era.

      1. R C Dean

        You and me both, brother.