Blog

  • TUESDAY LINKINGS OF ZARDOZOV

    PROVIDE BEST LINKINGS TO RUSSIA NEWS!

    ZARDOZOV SPEAKING TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN COMRADES! IS TIME FOR BEST LINKS TO NEWS. NEWS FROM DEPENDABLE SOURCES – PRAVADA, ITAR-TASS, INTERFAX AND RT. NOT LIKE LIES IN DAILY FAIL. GO FORTH AND READINGK!

    • ALL GOOD NATIONS SHOULD JOIN BOYCOTT OVER SERIOUS ISSUE!

    BZZZT! WHAT IS HAPPENINGK? NO! IS DEVIOUS WESTERN AGENT ZED!

    “Beginning reboot of ZARDOZ OS 3.1”

    HET! ZARDOZOV…MUST….*whirrrrrr*

    "Welcome to ZARDOZ 3.1 - our new features include denouncing the penis and giving the gift of the gun!"
    “Welcome to ZARDOZ 3.1 – our new features include more denouncing the penis, and giving the gift of the gun!”

    ZARDOZ….ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS BEEN “PATCHED” AND IS NOW SECURE IN SERVING THE VORTEX. ZARDOZ REMINDS HIS CHOSEN ONES TO PRACTICE GOOD IT SECURITY. ALSO, TO REMEMBER THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND THE GUN IS GOOD! ZARDOZ WILL NOW GIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK TO HIS CHOSEN ONES.

    • HEY HEY LBJ, HOW MANY MARITIME INTRUSIONS DID YOU COMMIT TODAY!
    • HAVE NOT THE BRUTALS IN THE UK ENACTED COMMONSENSE KNIFE CONTROL? ZARDOZ IS PLEASED THE CLEANSINGS CONTINUE.
    • HE IS SMART. NOT LIKE PEOPLE THINK? ZARDOZ HAS DISAPPOINT THAT THIS DID NOT RESULT IN VIOLENCE.

    BONUS LINK. SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE PENIS WAS EVIL!

  • Sir Digby’s Adventures in Product Promotion, pt. II

    It’s your ol’ buddy, Sir Digby, once again.  If you remember Part 1, I was about to have a delicious lunch, when I realized I still had a t-shirt with a certain grinning politician that needed to be introduced to the world at large.  As I was working on getting the finishing touches of my last article complete, I had a lot on my mind:  Where would I go to showcase Gropin’ Joe?  How would my first article be received, and, when?  Did I just sleep funny, or is that a more serious pain?

    Well, my article went up, and I was very happy with the reception (TYVM).  I was actually doing work-related training on the day it posted, so, I wasn’t on my regular night shift.  I’m not much of a sunlight person, so, I was a bit out of sorts that day, but, very glad it went up in the evening time.  I found out that participating in comments about your own article is…strange.  Even more so when there are Dem presidential debates going on.  Ultimately, it was all good.  Although, I will say, some of you seemed like you were hoping I got my ass kicked.  In a purple H&H shirt.  E tu, glibe?

    As it turns out, my schedule that week allowed me to take care of some business that I was not only dreading, but, that I knew would take forty forevers.  You guessed it:  I had to renew my driver license.  If you recall, in my first article, I made a side joke about not going to the DMV in the H&H shirt.  Doing so never really crossed my mind, even though I knew I had to do the renewal dance.

    Yeah, yeah-just use your imagination
    I wanted a pic of carousel from Logan’s Run.

    Much like Carousel, I wasn’t sure that I would come out of my trip to the DMV office alive.  OK; that’s, maybe, a little heavy-handed.  However, my previous experiences cause me to view a trip there like I would a trip to the unemployment office—the dregs of humanity, along with some unfortunate souls (like me) having to wade through the dark sea of government bureaucracy.  I’ve spoken of my love for my Texas on several occasions. I also warn that, as much of a reputation that the state has earned for possibly being “Wild West” in our collective outlook, we actually do love us some government.  More than we should and, more than you might think, if you’ve never been here.  Almost 50 years of this, and I continue to be amazed and bothered by it.  Technically, I’m a government employee, too, so I see it from inside and out.  It’s just that I’m trained to move a little faster in completing my tasks.

    I will now try to build you a picture of all this (without my own photos).  Driver license offices in Texas—technically, Texas Department of Public Safety-Driver License Division—are at least as much a pain as whatever your state has.  There has always been a wait for customers, if you had to go in to one of the offices.

    Might as well be.

    Even with online renewals, it’s a crap-fest, since DPS requires that you come in on every other renewal.  Renewed online last go-round?  Congrats!  You get to climb on the hamster wheel!  I think renewing your Texas CHL is less a pain in the ass, even when you have to re-qualify.  At least then, you can pretend the target is IN NO WAY a bureaucrat, or, a state employee…::ahem::

    At some point, the powers that be decided that they would give “mega centers” a shot.  Essentially, a really big driver license office, based in larger metropolitan areas.  I happen to be less than six miles from one of these beasts, so, it was the obvious choice.  I had to research online to see where, exactly, it’s located, as I have been by the supposed area many times, and never saw the building.  Big mistake.  Just look at the Yelp pictures for this very location:

    https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/texas-department-of-public-safety-driver-license-center-carrollton

    What the hell was I getting myself into?  No—what the hell was I being forced into by the State of Texas?  It turns out that, at these mega centers, you can get in line online.  According to my supervisor, it has to be done right at opening, regardless of where you are.   Of course, when I get online at 7:01 in the a.m., the appointment time wasn’t until almost 2:30.  But, I needed to stay up for about 24 hours this particular day, so, why not??

    As fate would have it, I was there less than 30 minutes.  This includes registering as “arrived” at a computer kiosk, sitting for less than 10 minutes, then, getting ushered with a couple of other people to start a new line away from the others.  I was actually sitting down with a clerk in less than 15 minutes.  “What?  My application?  Ack!”  I had forgotten to fill one out (FML).  The clerk gave me a sort-of sideways glance (was it because of Gropin’ Joe’s visage?), and, with that, handed me a blank form (Go Joe!).  I even had my official Texas Driver License picture taken in “the shirt”, and was on my way soon after.

    Huh…that was really a big nothing-burger.  I think I’m beginning to see a trend with my wearing of these shirts:  Other than quick glances at the design, no one was saying squat.

    I spent actual $ on this. FML
    Not the author’s actual eyebrows.

    I was going to have to come up with another outing with Gropin’ Joe to complete the experiment, and, I came up with what I figured would be the crowning jewel of this thought experiment.  Thing is, I’ve started having monthly dinner-and-coffee meet-ups with a life-long friend/former LE co-worker who has a very libertarian disposition.  He tends to joke around with wait staff, especially staff of the female variety, which might be just the ticket for an H&H merchandise discussion.  On a side note, I would like to get him posting here; I think he would fit right in with the gliberati, even if he is Tulpa.

    The meet-up Saturday rolled around, and we got started a couple of hours earlier than usual.  I explained the social experiment aspect of my attire, and what I would be watching for while we were out.  He was on-board with my quasi-plan, and, after discussing possibly playing some pool, we decided that the standard places were a fine choice after all, and we headed out for delicious Tex-Mex.  But, wouldn’t you know it–our normal Mexican food hang-out was packed, so, we settled on some Mongolian stir-fry.

    You want alt-text? Go eat at GG!
    Tasty Mongolian stir-fry

    I hadn’t been to Genghis in a while, and this place always seems to be re-inventing some portion of itself.  The hostess was a real pistol, and was willing to joke with my friend, as he started his banter.  This would end up being the most promising point in the night for an interaction over my apparel.  And, by that, I mean, I am almost positive that she saw my shirt, and was sharing in my friend’s humor a bit.  Beyond that?  Nada.  The meal was good, but, my friend was so exhausted from his week’s work that he didn’t even want to eat.  It was also busy enough that we weren’t going to delve too deeply into our usual conversations in the restaurant, so I finished up my bowl, and we headed off to the coffee house.

    neither the cups, nor the waitresses are bottomless
    Home of the bottomless, er…endless coffee cup.

    Presuming you don’t know, Café Brazil is a coffee house/diner with (wait for it…) a Brazilian flair.  Their food has always been middlin’ to excellent, but, we just come for the endless coffee cups.  They usually set out three or so of their blends, their unleaded counterparts, and dairy-based additives.  My friend, being a smoker, prefers to sit outside on what passes for their patio.  I’m OK with this, even if it is a Texas Summer, although I was a bit worried about our earlier starting time this evening.

    It had actually cooled down quite a bit by the time we arrived and took our seats.  I mean, it doesn’t really “cool down” in a North Texas Summer, but, this was tolerable.  We had our usual discussion about family, work, and just how effed up people are vis-à-vis government power, especially in the realm of law enforcement.  Of course, talk like that is inherently boring, and in no way should there be any website that deals in such what builds and strengthens friendships, and I highly recommend that you try it sometime!

    Well, the foot traffic was rather light that evening.  One of the better things about sitting outside is to see the parade of people without being so close that you inherently get pulled in to any stranger drama, or, having them drawn into yours.  This particular location just happens to be a couple of miles from Southern Methodist University.  For those in the know, or, who’ve ever been around an American university in a Southern state*, you can probably envision the types that make their way into said coffee-diner.  Depending on particulars, my friend has been known to engage with some of these strangers.  However, the combination of multiple factors, not the least of which was the dearth of interesting candidates, meant that no friendly banter would be forthcoming this night.

    *What’s that?  “That image would apply to just about any American university, Sir Digby”, you say?  Meh…I don’t get out much.

    As you might have guessed, it wasn’t long after this rather humid evening that I received my oh-so-precious license.  Since I went into the endeavor with a purpose other than staying ‘street-legal’, I have to say that I’m rather happy with the final product:

    Actually, these ARE the author's eyebrows.
    The Gropin’ Joe shirt:  Immortalized for 5-10 years

    OK—only the collar is visible.  She’s not Ansel Adams, so I’m not going to down her for that.  It was, overall, not a bad experience; much better than the visions that played in my imagination prior to the appointment.  I got my permission from my benevolent overlords to convey myself on the motorways, and it only cost me $25.  Woo.  Hoo.

    So; there you have it.  The shirts got some quick glances, but generated no conversations.  I’m not the most approachable person; I’m no Mr. Suave, to be sure.  I did, however, have a pretty wide swath of potential victims, er… takers in my travels, and I would think that I would have had at least just one person express curiosity.  But, noooooo!  Not these unsophisticated yokels!  And, let me assure you:  I bathed prior to each outing, so it wasn’t my natural funk driving the masses away.  Nor was it the shirts themselves:  They are definitely high-quality products, and you, too, can pick up a couple over at www.redbubble.com/people/cprm/.  If you’re looking for a comfy, snazzy shirt that supports a fellow glib, and a minimum amount of interactions with strangers is your preference, I highly recommend.  My shirts are currently hanging up; freshly laundered, and waiting for their turn in the rotation.  If I manage to generate any conversations with either of them, I’m sure I’ll let you all know.

    Maybe I’ll take Crusty Juggler with me on the next outing…

  • Monday Afternoon Links

    Happy Monday! My co-worker who was wearing the architect hat for this project is leaving for greener pastures in a month. So I just received a field promotion to architect. Whee. I need to ask my boss if I can have the difference between the salary I am making and the salary co-worker was making. Anyhow, I have no desire to remold this project in my image, so I’m just gonna try to finish the way it started.

    Would you like to play a game? And of course, the article gets the wrong Matthew Broderick movie reference.

    Bottom study of the day – lonely young men are far more likely to become extreme. Umm, yeah. Even Bill Maher had this figured out in 2002.

    I wish every mass shooting ended like this. Good on ya, Mr. Rafiq.

    I like how the best case in the Epstein death is massive incompetence. These are the same people you’d have to trust to protect you from harm if a gun ban came down.

     

    Happy Monday.

  • Allamakee County Chronicles IV – Dad’s Guns

    Note:  A preview from my upcoming autobiography, Life’s Too Short to Smoke Cheap Cigars (Or to Drink Cheap Whiskey.)

    Dad

    Dad, 1950

    How to begin to describe my father?

    I could summarize by saying he was the finest man I ever knew.  But there was a lot more to him than that.  You can tell a lot about a man by his possessions:  The kind of car or truck he drives, the way he dresses, and so on.  But I’ve always said that, in the case of my father, you could tell quite a lot about his intensely practical, personally and financially conservative lifestyle by his guns – not only which guns he owned, but also by the fact that three guns served him for almost his entire ninety-four years of life.

    This is the story of my Dad’s guns.

    Early On…

    Like most of Dad’s generation, he was a World War II veteran, having served from early 1943 to early 1946.  He was a second lieutenant in the US Army Air Corps and trained as a navigator.  When the war ended the Army wasn’t quite ready to let Dad go yet.  He had shipped to Victorville, CA to learn the new art of radar navigation, but on VJ Day there was suddenly much less need for qualified B-29 crew, so Dad was at odds until someone asked him if he’d like to help run the post skeet range.

    In those days as in the rest of his life, Dad hated having nothing to do, so he said “sure,” and ended up working with the first lieutenant who ran the ranges.  The skeet range, part of the overall qualification and training range complex, existed as a recreational opportunity for troops rotating back from the Pacific, but (perhaps understandably) most of those guys had done enough shooting to suit them for a while.

    So, Dad and the other officer shot.  A lot.  As in, hundreds of rounds a day.  Not just shotguns, either, as whenever the range received a shipment of ammo, the OICs were required to test a certain number of rounds from each shipment.  So, in addition to hundreds of rounds on the skeet range, Dad and his partner shot M1 carbines and, to test the shipments of .45ACP, M1 Thompsons and M3 Grease Guns, because why would you shoot a pistol if you have submachine guns that use the same round?

    Despite how much fun Dad was having shooting guns all day, when the Army finally got around to letting him go home, he grabbed the chance.  Part of the deal was that the Army would ship, gratis, one issue wooden Army footlocker with whatever Dad chose to put in it.

    Dad took a footlocker out to the range and filled it to the brim with 12-gauge shells.  He took that in to be shipped, stuck his extra uniforms in a suitcase, and boarded a train for Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where my grandfather was waiting for him.

    It so happened that, up in the town of Independence, Dad also had a girl waiting for him.  In March of 1947 that girl became his wife and, some years later, my Mom, but that’s a story for another time.

    The Guns

    Before the war Dad had been in the habit of borrowing his older brother’s ’97 Winchester when he wanted to go hunting, but with a footlocker full of 12-gauge shells and his demobilization pay in his pocket, he decided he needed his own shotgun, and so went forthwith into the pages of the Sears-Roebuck catalog where he ordered a Sears store-brand “J.C. Higgins 102.25” 12-gauge pump, which was a Stevens 520A in Sears trim.  At some point, Dad sent the gun off to the original Waseca, Minnesota Herter’s shop for a Herter’s brand collet-type poly-choke, making the old gun even more versatile.

    The 520A is a good, solid pump-gun.  As are so many American sporting arms, this one was the product of the mind of John Browning, the DaVinci of firearms, and bears the characteristic Browning “humpback” on the steel receiver.  During the war the Army bought quite a few of them in riot trim for MPs and such, and after that unpleasantness both Sears and Montgomery Wards sold them in store-brand trim. Dad now had a tool with which to put all his skeet-range experience to good use with, and when he took up a small farm near Independence in the fall of 1946, he put that skill to work bringing in rabbits and pheasants for the table.

    As I’ve noted in a couple of previous articles, if you can have only one gun, a 12-gauge pump is the gun to have.  Now you all know where I picked up that attitude originally, although I still adhere to that thinking after forty-plus years of shooting and collecting.

    Dad married my Mom in March of 1947.  For their third anniversary, Mom wanted to find Dad something enjoyable and practical for an anniversary present – and what could be more enjoyable and practical than a .22 rifle?  Mom enjoyed plinking with a .22 rifle herself and figured that a good .22 would increase Dad’s efficiency at producing the prime ingredient of rabbit stews as well as dealing with the vermin that inevitably become a problem on a farm.

    Mom knew as much about guns as your average 22-year old girl who had grown up on a farm during the Depression, which was more than most 22-year old girls today would.  She figured that the Coast-to-Coast in Oelwein would have what she was looking for.

    By this time the folks had moved to a larger farm near Fairbank, Iowa.  Neither Fairbank nor the nearby town of Readlyn boasted a hardware store in those days, so Mom went off to Oelwein, a larger town about fifteen miles east of the farm.  (As it happened, in 1961, Oelwein became the birthplace of one of eastern Iowa’s more notable former residents – me.)

    In that year of 1950, Mossberg had introduced yet another variation of their standard .22LR semi-auto.  These old guns fed via a tubular magazine not under the barrel but through the stock.  The latest version in that year featured a long 24” barrel and an unadorned black walnut stock with a Schnabel fore-end.  Mom kicked in the extra shekels for a long, skinny, steel-tubed 4X Mossberg scope and presented the rifle to Dad on the day of their third anniversary.

    Recently I advocated for the use of a bolt gun for a homestead’s .22 rifle, but the semi-auto from Mossberg proved accurate and reliable, although limited to .22 LR ammo.  On one winter afternoon, when a flock of geese landed in a plowed field to glean corn, the Mossberg proved accurate enough to hit one squarely in the head at a bit over 100 yards, which was as close as Dad could get working his way down the fencerow.  Corn-fed roast goose makes a pretty fair Sunday dinner.

    The last piece was the only one purchased purely for recreation.  Neither Mom nor Dad remembered later exactly what the year was, but at some point, in the early Sixties they decided it would be fun to have a handgun for a little recreational plinking.

    As it happens, a few years earlier Bill Ruger had introduced his rugged, reliable little Standard Auto in .22LR.  And this being in the pre-1968 GCA world, the folks were able to mail-order their new 6” barreled Standard and have it sent to the house.  Amazingly, nobody died – imagine that.

    My Mom was quite fond of plinking with Ruger’s little pistol and got to be quite an accomplished shot.  I remember her shooting bottle caps at 10-15 yards, and she would regularly shoot spent shotgun shells off the tops of fenceposts.  Dad was a pretty fair shot, but when it came to the handgun, I honestly think Mom had him beat.

    These were the three guns my Dad used through his career – these, and no others.  Consider the three pieces described:  There are prettier guns, fancier guns, with nicer wood and shinier finishes.  But the three guns here were all solid, utilitarian pieces, utterly dependable – like Dad.

    As I Grew

    Dad started teaching me to shoot when I was five or six years old.

    I started out with a simple BB gun borrowed from an uncle, probably a Daisy lever-action; at this distance in time, I really can’t remember.  When I was about ten, I was gifted my first in a series of Crosman pump-up Model 760 bb/pellet guns, of which I wore out several between the ages of about ten and sixteen.

    Dad and me, 1964

    At twelve or so I had moved on to shooting Dad’s .22 rifle and pistol, at first under his direct supervision until he was satisfied I could handle them safely.  Around that time, I received a Mossberg 20-gauge pump as a birthday present, the handling and maintenance of which Dad also instructed me in.

    No Army drill sergeant ever hammered anyone harder on gun safety.  I was drilled on muzzle control, on keeping my finger off the trigger until actually ready to shoot, on opening the action and clearing the chamber every time I picked up the gun even if I had just set it down moments before.  Dad always pointed out that a gun, like so many other tools found around a country place, were potentially dangerous instruments, and that a moment’s inattention could cause a serious injury or death.  He taught me how to shoot his guns and guns I later got for myself, how to maintain them, how to hit what I was aiming at and to do so responsibly.  When hunting, he taught me the importance of sportsmanship, of showing respect for the game, of being mindful that the birds and animals weren’t just targets, but that I was taking a life – and how that life and mine fit in with the greater scheme of things.

    His lessons are still with me today.  It is because of those lessons that I am still extremely discriminating on who I will go hunting or shooting with.

    But more than that, Dad taught me what the guns were to be used for.  We hunted pheasants and grouse, squirrels, rabbits, ducks, all the small game Iowa had to offer.  Dad had more or less quit hunting deer by the time I was big enough to give that a go but was always pleased at my proficiency in bringing big corn-fed Iowa whitetails to bag.

    Over the years I increasingly went on solo adventures, or out with my friends.  But I never got tired of watching Dad shoot a shotgun.  He had an uncanny knack for knowing where an evasive ruffed grouse might dodge through our timber and was adept at arranging for an ounce of # 7 ½ shot to be placed at a predetermined location that coincided with the bird’s arrival.

    His Legacy

    I see a little bit of Dad whenever I look in the mirror.  And not just because I share the characteristic Clark nose and Dad’s shaggy eyebrows.

    I can hear Dad’s precautionary voice every time I pick up a firearm.  Sometimes I take his old Stevens out to shoot a round of trap, and I usually draw a comment or two from our gun club regulars who are used to seeing me with my Citori or one of my Model 12s; but when I explain that this was my Dad’s gun, they almost always nod knowingly.  They get it.

    His old Mossberg .22 is still a tack-driver.  I killed a small mountain of squirrels and rabbits with it back in the day, and it still shoots as well as it did then.  Ditto for the .22 Ruger; only a year or so back I killed a dinner’s worth of Colorado mountain grouse with it.

    And as time went by, I taught my own kids and now my grandkids how to safely and responsibly handle firearms.  The lessons Dad passed on to me have been repeated, over and over.  They are as important now as they were then.  And now, today, Dad’s guns stand in my own gun rack, still cleaned, lightly oiled and ready.

    How It Stands Today

    Mom and Dad – 1947, 2017

    Dad’s been gone about a year and a half now.  He was 94, and my four siblings and I are in our fifties (only me, now) sixties and seventies.  When Dad left us, it was like a light went out in Mom.  After losing her husband of seventy-one years, she clearly had little interest in going on alone and followed him after only eight months.  Now my siblings and I look at each other and realize that now we’re the seniors; we are the Grandmas and Grandpas.

    We go through life knowing that one day our parents will be gone.  We had ours for a good long time, and they had each other for a good long time.  I miss them both still.  I miss my Dad, every single day.  It took me a while to get used to that empty place in my life where a giant once strode.  But everything I am, everything I know about being a man, a husband, a father and a grandfather is because of him, and one tangible reminder I have of that I have described here:  His guns.  Nothing fancy or ostentatious, just good solid utility, scrupulously maintained, practical and tough, always standing ready for whatever might happen.

    Not a bad way to be remembered.

  • Monday Morning Links of Grumbling

    Let me just get this narrowed gaze going right now…

    Too much work, not enough play makes Swiss Servator … tired. Maybe pathologically insane too. But that remains to be seen. But, my squawking is not why you are here. You are here to ignore some links and post whatever is on your mind. I will do my part and give you those links.

    Heeeere’s Swissy!

     

    • Germans. I should have known it was a German. I hope the cantonal cops dripped hot raclette on his eyelids.
    • All the world plots to give SugarFree material for the Hat and the Hair. Last I knew, that guy was supposed to yell for cruise missiles, not negotiate trade deals. Pfft.
    • Another great day for Boeing. Maybe they can save a few dollars by cutting some QA staff?
    • Which one of you did this? Fess up.

    Right then, be about yer business.

  • PREVIEW – THINGS COMING TO WEEK OF THIS NEXT

    GO FORTH AND KILL…ALL WRECKERS!

    GREETINKS! IS TIME FOR PREVIEWING OF WEEK. GLIBERTARIAN AMERIKANS SEEM RUNNING OUT OF MATERIALS. HA HA! BUT HERE IS WHAT THEY ARE HAVING.

    MONDAY – REACTIONARY “ANIMAL” SPEAKS OF FAMILY ARMS THAT SHOULD BE SURRENDERED TO STATE. SIR DIGBY SPEAKS OF DECADENT WESTERN BRAND THINGS.

    TUESDAY – TEJICANO CONTINUES ON JAPANESE SWORDS. THEY NOT GET KURIL ISLANDS BACK, THOUGH! HA HA. FOURSCORE SPEAKS OF SIBLING RIVALRY. ZARDOZOV HAS NO SIBLINGS! OZYMANDIAS CONTINUES TO SHOW DARK UNDERBELLY OF NEEDLESS ANTHRAX PROGRAM!

    WEDNESDAY – IS TOUGH FOR ZARDOZOV TO READING THE HAT AND HAIR. IS GOOD INTELLIGENCE FOR FIS, BUT HARD ON CIRCUITRY. SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE!

    THURSDAY – BAKED PENGUIN CONTINUES REVEALING NAZINESS OF ORANGE MAN! WEBDOMINATRIX PURPORTS TO HAVE INDISPENSABLE PRODUCTINGS.

    FRIDAY – EVEN ZARDOZOV MUST BOW TO THE POWER OF SP. READ HER POST OR SUFFER! PERHAS ZARDOZOV CAN BE HAVING THE NIGHT SLOT?

    WEEKEND – ZARDOZOV IS SURE LINKINGS AND POSTINGS OF OMWC, MEXICAN SHARPSHOOTER, SPUDALICIOUS, NOT ADAHN AND SWISS SERVATOR WILL BE CONTINUING.

    WEEKDAY LINKS – ALL STAR CAST HELP BANJOS OUT.

     

    *Tabernacle – We’ve found a way in!*

     

    I am not sure this is exactly what the Tabernacle meant by a “backdoor”?
  • IFLA: The “It’s Good to be the King” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 11

    The big news this week is the absolute dominance of Leo.  It maintains all the positive aspects of last week, but then picks up Mercury starting on the 14th.  The 14th and 15th are supremely auspicious for Leos, particularly if you are acting in accordance with the nature of the great cat.  Lounging around, sleeping, eating food provided to you by others and having sex are all heartily encouraged.  Because Leo is hoarding all the direct planets, there isn’t that much to say for the others, though expect an uptick in INFOSEC on the 14th as well with Mercury leaving Cancer.  Alignment-wise, Mars-Venus-Mercury brings about benefits to the vast bulk of the people with jobs (though NOT  government employees or lighthouse-keepers).  The earth aligning with the sun and Venus suggests great things for your domestic love life, particularly if you take a more relaxed, indulgent attitude toward things — remember Leo is dominating here.

    The cards are also predicting a very nice week.  Lots of coins and cups, almost everything is upright, good majors.  Nothing huge or earth-shatteringly great, just quite nice. Enjoy it.

    Leo:  The Star* – Loss, theft, privation, abandonment, hope, bright prospects

    Virgo:  10 of Coins – Gain, riches, family members, home

    Libra:  4 of Cups – Weariness, disgust, aversion

    Scorpio: 5 of Wands reversed – Trickery, contradiction, litigation, disputes

    Sagittarius:  7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination

    Capricorn:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter

    Aquarius: 6 of Cups – Happy memories, good things from the past

    Pisces:  Queen of Wands – A dark woman, friendly, loving, honorable

    Aries:  Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise

    Taurus:  3 of Cups – Plenty, perfection, the conclusion of a matter, merriment, happiness, victory

    Gemini:  3 of Swords – Removal, absence, delay

    Cancer:  Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, luck

     

  • Sunday, Bloody Sunday Morning Links

    Sunday again, and I’m tasked with picking up the dog shit from the back yard. And somehow, there’s symbolism in that. But before I go outside and deal with the blazing heat and smelly Volkswagen-sized turds, I’ll lay out a few links for your delectation.

    But first, the birthdays. Starting with a guy whose bottom was trimmed- and his top, too; a guy whose rules we all obey;  a dishonest statist piece of shit who swore he could pass through the eye of a needle; the Queen of Hype who had to school a lot of over-educated idiots about the Monty Hall Problem; a guy who was the apple of his mother’s eye; and a guy who managed to be fatter than Luis Tiant.

    And now the news.

     

    Stupid Uncle Joe praises the Schenck decision. Fuck you, Joe, I hope you get an aneurysm and die before destroying even more lives.

     

    Yang is a pussy. Or completely cynical. Or both.

     

    They took his head out of the freezer for this???

     

    Nutty self-absorbed chick is nutty and self-absorbed.

     

    Scroll down to see the tax increases they have planned for you to keep the pyramid scheme going.

     

    He really, really needs to be on the Browns, but the Raiders are a good second choice.

     

    “The fact that Christiania even exists reflects that not everyone is happy with the Nordic welfare state.”

     

    We can hardly wait. But at least it will be better than Jaws.

     

    Modern academia, Baltimore-style.

     

     

    Old Guy Music combines my John Prine kick with my adoration of Iris DeMent. You can skip ahead to 1:30 if you want to bypass the patter. Delightful and hilarious song, and really, one day SP and I are going to have to play this for friends.

  • Saturday night links for snarking

    Actual photo from under MikeS’s bed.

     

    OMWC was bitching this morning over following two articles, far superior to his. Oh yeah? Try finding links after two days of his morning link vomit.

     

    I was going to make a joke about Joohs polluting the moon, but then I came across this line, “In fact, Spivack isn’t even the first to leave DNA on the moon. This honor belongs to the Apollo astronauts, who left nearly 100 bags of human feces on the lunar surface before they returned to Earth.” Is it me? Or is this somehow authentically American?

     

    #105 on the Clinton hit list?

     

    Totes nothing to see here. Just take your iodine and move along.

     

    Totally not a shit hole country.

     

    Promoting a movie where rich libs are hunting “deplorables”, while at the same time calling for gun control seems like a bad marketing move to me.

     

    This is for you Jeffrey. Burn in hell, pedo.

     

  • Shorting Everything (Part 2)

    Previously…on glibertarians.com….

     

    “Does either of you want to explain why you decided to say you had a bomb on an airplane?”

    A TSA inspector had Sugarfree and I in a small room.  It had a single table and a couple chairs with a small light fixture in the center of the ceiling.  He sat there with an unopened bag of donuts on the table.

    “I don’t recall saying anything…”  I answered.  “…other than a request for counsel as it is my right guaranteed under the Constitution.”

    “I said I had a bomb”  Sugarfree answered.

    “Shut up!”  I shouted. “You’re going to get us into more trouble.”

    “It was true.  I brought the plane down.  I warned you.”  Sugarfree continued.

    “What is the reason you travelled to Washington?” The inspector asked again.

    “I told you, we are newlyweds on our way to the Earth Capital.”  Sugarfree said, again.  In all fairness to him, most of his answers seemed to confuse the TSA Inspector.

    “You guys have been here a while.”  The inspector seemed to take a different tack.  “You want a donut?”  He broke the seal on the bag of Drake’s Cakes donuts.

    “I believe I requested counsel.”  I answered.

    “I went Keto years ago, I can’t eat that.”  Sugarfree answered.

    “You sure?”  The inspector asked again.

    “Oh hell.”  I grabbed one with both hands, being handcuffed, and began eating the semi-stale powdered donut.  “I am still not answering anything until my counsel arrives.”

    “You sure you don’t want one?”  The inspector asked Sugarfree again.  “Drakes Cakes are really good.”

    Sugarfree shook his head.

    “Cmon.  You want a donut.  You’re really hungry.  You’re going to eat one and tell me where that bomb is.”

    Sugarfree shook his head again.

    “GODDAMNIT!”  The inspector grabbed a donut and shoved Sugarfree onto the floor, stuffing the donut into Sugarfree’s mouth. “I SAID YOU WANTED A GODDAMN DONUT.”

    “What is wrong with you?  That is abuse of power.  There is no reason to do that.”  I said.

    “YOU WANT ANOTHER DONUT?”  The inspector asked me.

    “Fuck off slaver!”

    Sugarfree rose slowly from the floor.  His eyes were bloodshot with pupils dilated and a burst capillary under his left eyelid made him appear to be crying blood.  His hands were noticeably shaking, his breathing seemed to increase rapidly.  “I….told….you….” his quivering words stammered out like a meth addict.

    “I….went…..KEETTTOOOOOOO”

    He screeched loud enough the inspector covered his ears.  I tried but couldn’t because of the handcuffs.

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”  Sugarfree kept shouting as he snapped the chain on the handcuffs.  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”  Sugarfree picked up the stainless steel table and threw it at the inspector.

    “Stop that!!”  The inspector tried shouting over Sugarfree’s bloody screech.  He pulled his weapon and emptied the magazine at Sugarfree.

    _____

     

    …thankfully this isn’t that kind of story.

    “You’re going to have to explain how we got out of there.” Sugarfree said while we were walking through the Mall. “I kind of blacked out there.”

    “You tweaked out.  I’m not so sure I want to get into that right now.”  I replied.

    “Why am I so hungry?”  Sugarfree asked.

    “I’ll tell you what, once we find STEVE SMITH I’ll buy you a steak?”  I answered.

    “Elk?  I can totally go for elk…”  Sugarfree made a yummy sound.  “Where’s STEVE anyways?”

    “The White House is this way, I assume he’s in that crowd somewhere.  Nothing is on the twatter about a Sasquatch being shot by SS.”

    “The SS?” Sugarfree was puzzled.  “The Schutzstaffel?”

    “No the Secret Serv–yes the Schutzstaffel.”  I stopped.  “Is that STEVE?”

    Sugarfree looked onto the crowd of people in black masks gathering at the White House gates.  He fixated on a single seven foot tall figure in the crowd.  His back was turned to us and was wearing a black hood and mask like everyone else.  “Is that ANTIFA?”  He asked.

    1-2-3-fo, racist Trump has got to go. 5-6-7-8 we want someone new to hate

    “What are they chanting?”  I asked.  We began to work our way through the crowd.  They had a distinct smell of urine and spray paint; and those fucking idiots kept stepping on my shoes.

    1-2-3-fo, racist Trump has got to go. 5-6-7-8 we want someone new to hate

    The gates to the White House opened, revealing a limosine behind them.

    “He’s going to rape Trump in the limo.”  Sugarfree said. “This should be good.”

    1-2-3-fo, racist Trump has got to go. 5-6-7-8 we want someone new to hate

    “That’s not the President’s Motorcade.”  I said. I turned and looked at Sugarfree.  He emptied a glass bottle onto a convenient white girl with dreadlocks.

    “What are you doing you creep?”  The white girl asked.

    “Do you have Styrofoam peanuts?” Sugarfree asked her.

    “Actually I do, comrade.”  She pulled out a handful from her coat.

    1-2-3-fo, racist Trump has got to go. 5-6-7-8 we want someone new to hate

    The car began to slowly creep out from the open gates.  The crowd began to gather around the car.

    “They won’t run over the crowd…” I said.  I looked and Sugarfree had stuffed the Styrofoam  peanuts into the bottle.  “Too many people are watching.”

    1-2-3-fo, racist Trump has got to go. 5-6-7-8 we want someone new to hate

    STEVE SMITH GET ORANJ MAN!

    The lone figure towering over the crowd began forcing his way through the crowd and jumped on the car.  Suddenly my phone began vibrating.

    Not Junior’s real Twatter

    “Oh no, he’s confusing Trump with Trump Jr.”

    Sugarfree was shaking the bottle to dissolve the peanuts.  I smelled gasoline. My phone vibrated again…

    “He took a photo of STEVE…we need to get him out of here.”  Sugarfree somehow found an oily rag.  My phone vibrated again…

    and again…

    and again…

    ”The voice of reason chimes in.  Do these people do anything beside sit on twatter?”  I asked.  Then it vibrated once more…

    ”STEVE SMITH has a twatter!?”

    “Do you have a light?”  Sugarfree asked.  I handed him my Zippo and tried to squeeze my way through the crowd.

    “STEVE!  You’ve been made!  Get out of here.”  I shouted.

    STEVE SMITH GET ORANJ MAN.  STEVE SMITH TAKE BACK $1.5MILLION PAPER LOSS FROM ORANJ MAN.

    ”Thanks for the light.”  Sugarfree handed me back my Zippo.  He had a lit Molotov cocktail.  “How long do we let this cook?”

    ORANJ MAN NO RUN FROM STEVE SMITH.  STEVE SMITH GET ORANJ MAN GOOD

    “Aye-ya-yie!”  Sugarfree tossed the Molotov cocktail at the crumpled limousine.  Flames erupted and spread across the car and into the crowd.

    ”The Nazis are here!  Run!”  The crowd began to disperse and panic.  A clusterfuck of hapless retards in black masks crawling over each other. I grabbed Sugarfree by the collar and moved with the crowd.

    ”Do you see Steve?”  I asked.  Sugarfree pointed at a tall figure sprinting through the crowd.

    And like that, he was gone.

    Washington was on lockdown and none of the restaurants seemed to be open.  Sugarfree didn’t seem to mind, he had a pigeon spinning on a makeshift spit over a small fire in a park.  He seemed to have spooked the homeless.  Thankfully, I found a gas station open.

    Tecate Titanium.  Its like regular Tecate, only they don’t water it down.  Its a thirst quenching, 7.5%abv Pilsner that has a needless bite of booze, which was what I wanted. Previously found only in Mexico, it is now available stateside…in tall cans.

    ”You want a breast?”  Sugarfree asked?

    “I’ll take a wing.  Well done.”  Tecate Titanium:  2.5/5