Saturday night links of, wait, it’s Saturday again? Already?

Mmmm. Bambi.

You gotta love Idaho. The patio project is coming along nicely, but work just stopped dead until next Wednesday. It’s opening weekend, and everybody is going hunting.

 

I bring you Saturday night links, impeachment derp free.

 

That’s one way to increase work productivity.

 

I hope they at least got to finish.

 

Oh please, please, pretty please, let it be so.

 

Get this man a cheeseburger, STAT!

 

A new Florida Man.

 

Don’t mess with an elk whose sole purpose this time of year is to get laid.

 

In honor of the season, a few words from Uncle Ted.

 

Comments

404 responses to “Saturday night links of, wait, it’s Saturday again? Already?”

  1. DEG

    A NAKED couple fell to their deaths while having sex on a third-floor balcony after a house party, it was reported yesterday.

    The woman, a 28-year-old mother, and her 35-year-old lover slipped over the edge of a wall while romping in Ecuador, it’s believed.

    That’s a climactic way to go.

    1. Tres Cool

      Came & went at the same time ?

      1. Jarflax

        Petit Grand Mort

        1. DEG

          It was one of those total body orgasms I hear about?

      2. Spudalicious

        Talk about coitus interruptus.

      3. blackjack

        That guy really fell for her.

    2. That’s not how you do the pull out method.

    3. Sean

      Wait, I thought we avoided kink shaming around here?

      1. I thought we shamed anybody we wanted to.

        1. I thought we had to shame people whether we wanted to or not.

          1. Not Adahn

            I thought we had no shame.

          2. Sean

            *lights The HM signal*

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Go away! ‘Batin’!

  2. DEG

    The new Florida Man took me to the Panther’s QB story.

    Countdown until the edit fairy fixes it and I look weirder than normal in….

    1. Spudalicious

      Danka.

      1. DEG

        Bitte.

        The ruling found her to be Argentina’s first “nonhuman person, with the right to liberty”.

        One of these things is not like the other.

        1. Rhywun

          Stoopid.

          By all means, treat them humanely (*snort*) but let’s not get carried away. This is just another case of a judge gone rogue.

          1. “sentient being”

            Homo sapiens or GTFO.

          2. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

            ** glares in binary **

          3. 01101000 01101111 01101101 01101111 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110000 01101001 01100101 01101110 01110011 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100111 01110100 01100110 01101111

          4. Rhywun

            Oh, no you di’int!

          5. Gender Traitor

            L

          6. 01101111 01101000 00100000 01111001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100

          7. Gender Traitor

            Show-off!

          8. Rhywun

            *gasp*

          9. 01101110 01100001 01101110 01101110 01111001 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101110 01101110 01111001 00100000 01100010 01101111 01101111 00100000 01100010 01101111 01101111

          10. Jarflax

            01010100 01110111 01101111 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100111 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100001 00001010

          11. 01001111 01101000 00101100 00100000 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100001

          12. blackjack

            Remembering conversations between Spock and Kirk…

          13. Jarflax

            01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100011 01110100 01110101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01101100 01100101 01100100 01100111 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00111111

          14. Jarflax

            01001111 01101000 00100000 01000111 01101111 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01101110 01101110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100001 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 00100011 01100011 01101100 01101001 01101101 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110010 01101001 01101011 01100101

          15. 01010101 01000011 01010011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 00101100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100001 01100111 01101111 00101110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01000011 01101100 01101001 01101101 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01101110 01101110 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110101 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110010 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110110 01100101 01110010 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110011 00101110

            01010000 01110010 01100101 01110100 01110100 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01010010 01101000 01111001 01110111 01110101 01101110 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01110011 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101110

          16. Jarflax

            01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110101 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01000011 01110010 01111001 01110000 01110100 01101001 01101001 00101110 00100000

          17. 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110101 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110101 01101110 01101001 01110100 00101101 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110110 01100101 01110010 01110011 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101110 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101111

          18. Jarflax

            01001001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101110 01111001 00100000 01110000 01100001 01100111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00111111

          19. Jarflax

            01001101 01100001 01111001 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110011 01110101 01101101 01101101 01101111 01101110 00100000 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01110111 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 00110011 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00111111 00001010 00001010 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111 00001010 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111 00001010 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111

          20. 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111 00001101 00001010 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111 00001101 00001010 01000001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01000011 01111001 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100111

            !!!!!

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          Why not? Courts treat corporations as “people”.

          1. Jarflax

            They have to be able to own things and enter contracts, so if we want people able to pool resources we had to create a fictitious person. I sometimes think we should have found another way to handle this, one that didn’t get the Government as involved.

          2. pan fried wylie

            A corporation, at least, is a collection of people. Nobody granted personhood to kennels.

          3. Jarflax

            Meh, Orangutans are pretty close relatives. It isn’t the first time people have considered them humanish, the name itself means Man of the forest.

          4. leon

            Orangutans have even become president

          5. pan fried wylie

            I didn’t read the link so wasn’t paying attention to what animal it was.

            When apes start recognizing each other’s rights we can start the conversation of including them in civilization.

          6. Sir Digby

            You’ll notice that the only named “right” mentioned by this judge is an obligation placed on others…

          7. Heroic Mulatto

            APE SHALL NOT KILL APE

      2. Grumbletarian

        An orangutan which spent 20 years in an Argentine zoo is being moved to a US animal sanctuary after being granted the same legal rights as humans.

        When is she getting a gun?

          1. Chipping Pioneer

            That is the best video I’ve seen in forever.

          2. Count Potato

            The Nuclear Regulatory Commission banned me from New York, because if I ever shook hands with Ted, we would both simultaneously explode.

          3. LOL!

            And then he walks around with it over his head. I AM THE VICTOR!!!

          4. Chipping Pioneer

            ** fires shots into ground **

            DANCE MONKEYS!!!

          5. Chipping Pioneer

            I’ll now join Howard Cosell in hell.

          6. Spudalicious

            Say hi to Jimmy the Greek.

          7. Tulip

            That’s awesome!

          8. Tejicano

            I linked that same video last week – something about giving 16 year-olds a global political platform…

        1. pan fried wylie

          “the same legal rights as humans”, so the ape totally has the right to apply for and be denied a gun, sure.

          1. blackjack

            It’s a slippery slope…because of the banana peels.

        2. Chipping Pioneer

          She has to pass the background check first. Feces flinging is a red flag.

  3. DEG

    Two people were injured Thursday after an elk violently charged at a woman in Estes Park, Colorado, officials said.

    In a video recorded by a witness, a woman can be seen on the ground using her feet to fend off a bull elk that had charged at her with its antlers.

    Colorado and no one has a gun?

    1. hayeksplosives

      City folk believe all wildlife is friendly and cuddly.

      They’ve clearly never seen Cartman’s Forest Creatures

      1. Shirley Knott

        One of their finer episodes.

    2. Jarflax

      Colorado is now Blue

      1. Now? haven’t they always been a bunch of filthy hippies?

        1. Jarflax

          The Hippies and the Rednecks used to be in balance.

      2. DEG

        I keep hearing it, and I keep wanting to think the insanity is confined to Boulder.

        1. Jarflax

          California used to be Republican, so did Washington, Virginia etc. I’m not hopeful even if Trump wins in 20, who wins in 24? 28? Team Blue is moving hard left and the country as a whole is shifting their way demographically. I think it is only a matter of time.

          1. Sean

            2020 could break them. Let’s hope it goes down like that.

          2. creech

            I can’t think of even one state that is turning Red. Prepare to accept your new fascist overlords.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Estes Park is opulence. Opulence which pays for the view.

  4. DEG

    From the sidebar of the bean dip meth story:

    While under arrest in the rear of a police car, a handcuffed Florida couple removed their clothes and began having sex, an encounter that eventually was interrupted when a sheriff’s deputy “opened the door to stop them,” according to an arrest report.

    1. Tres Cool

      Then, when 1 shot themselves in the scrotum, drugs fell out of their ass?

      1. Chafed

        Indubitably.

  5. Can’t be a gladiator eating dandelion greens. News at 11:00.

    1. Tres Cool

      “cause he was a glad-he-ate-her!”

      Now if I can only remember the set-up for the joke.

    2. DEG

      He should switch to Dandelion wine.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I had that once. It was horrible.

        1. hayeksplosives

          They do dandelion wine RIGHT in Amana Colonies in Iowa. Those crazy Amish will ferment anything.

        2. Unrelated except for the word “wine”: My XX TD just turned 16. About a year or 2 ago, there was a BOY in her life, first kiss, other things going on the school called me about. So here I am, a mom freaking out over her daughter’s burgeoning womanhood when this queued up on my playlist. It’s dark outside. Raining. I’m by myself in my office. It’s like 2:00 a.m. or something ridiculous, and I start bawling my eyes out. So now if I see [insert whatever non-grape flavor here] wine, I think of that night.

          1. Count Potato

            Awwwww

          2. Gender Traitor

            I just knowed that’s what it was gonna be.

          3. There’s nothing else it COULD be.

            Emotionally related.

            When I’m building my female characters and I decide when they lost their virginity and how, it’s all good. I don’t give it a second thought.

            When it’s my kid, my insides turn into a debris-addled tornado of panic.

          4. Jarflax

            Sex is a wonderful and natural thing. Your daughter or niece having sex not so much.

          5. Sex is a wonderful and natural thing.

            This guy agrees.

          6. That was cruel.

          7. True confessions:

            A) I saw Bolton in concert. With Kenny G. Yes. Yes, I did. I will now prepare for my banning.

            B) I have that George Michael album. And I LIKE it.

          8. Chafed

            Ted’S bringing the hate to the men. To the ladies, not so much.

          9. Here, try this.

            I have never heard that song before. I like it.

            Related.

          10. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            Sex is a wonderful and natural thing.

            Then you’re doing it wrong.

          11. I have that George Michael album. And I LIKE it.

            I un-apologetically listen TLC’s Crazy Sexy Cool Chilli may just edge out Elisabeth Shue.

          12. TLC’s Crazy Sexy Cool

            Own it. Love it. Dance to it when nobody’s around.

  6. IntraveneousWoodChipper

    Found JB’s link’s in the last article to a recent book on Cults of Personality and read through it. Found this little gem of “wisdom”:

    “Reading Marx under Marxism, Dikötter says, was highly imprudent: “One was a Stalinist under Stalin, a Maoist under Mao, a Kimist under Kim.” In short, Marxism was whatever the dictator said, and not what Marx had actually written.”

    NoT REaL CoMmUnISm? How original!

    1. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, I think the point was that whatever Dear Leader says trumps any ideology.

      1. Suthenboy

        Heh. They still don’t get it. That is the end game of socialism. Marx and his ilk were all a bunch of malcontents, misfits and losers. Their so-called ideology was the product of their own frustrations that they were not in power themselves. Marxism is a roadmap to ultimate power. There isn’t any goddamned utopia at the end of that road. What lies at the end of that road is totalitarian oppression of the worst kind. That is what it was designed for.

        1. AlmightyJB

          How to be a dictator. My original comment was how I thought it was interesting when Presidents and candidates followers try to turn them into Icons.

          https://quillette.com/2019/09/27/how-to-be-a-dictator-a-review/

  7. Heroic Mulatto

    If that organutan has human rights, then how do we know that it desires to live in Florida?

    1. Jarflax

      Surely if it is human it can communicate its wishes in some fashion.

      1. No, they ruled it is a NONhuman PERSON.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Makes perfect sense.

          1. hayeksplosives

            Isn’t there a Star Trek episode about this?

          2. Dunno. Rarely watched it (especially the original), and only really liked DS9 when I did watch it.

        2. Jarflax

          Human nonperson is common enough these days so nonhuman person seems to follow.

          1. AlmightyJB

            My pet rock identifies as a registered voter.

          2. Jarflax

            My rifles all identify as Nereids.

    2. Tres Cool

      It likes the taste of meth ?

      1. Sean

        No one likes the taste of meth.

        1. Not Adahn

          Not at first.

    3. J. Frank Parnell

      It runs around naked and once ate a guy’s face?

      1. Count Potato

        That’s a half truth.

          1. Tres Cool

            Post fail….go to 2 min mark

    4. Suthenboy

      “…how do we know that it desires to live in Florida?”

      No one gives a shit, that’s how. They care about being morally superior to every one else which they have now proven.

  8. Fourscore

    “Surely if it is human it can communicate its wishes in some fashion.”

    LEO? Government employee? Maybe I missed something.

    1. Jarflax

      Orangutan. Wait is that related to Oranjeman? BAD!

  9. Count Potato

    “Doctor and father-of-five faces life in prison for prescribing a HALF MILLION opioid doses in two years”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7515115/Doctor-facing-life-prison-thousands-opioid-doses.html

    I admire his work ethic.

    1. Jarflax

      Someone is numbing their pain somewhere. DEA man is here to stop that shit in its tracks!

  10. Count Potato

    “‘Another privileged white man without a clue’: Adam Levine is accused of cultural appropriation after unveiling his ‘corn hawk’ hair style, while others question his ‘life choices’”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7515391/Adam-Levine-criticized-unveiling-corn-hawk-hair-style.html

    OMG, who the hell cares?

    1. Jarflax

      The same people who post Demi Rose pics every day?

      1. Count Potato

        No, those are totally different people.

    2. Chafed

      Exactly. Save your rage for something that matters.

      1. blackjack

        Rage? Yes. Derision? Prefectly appropos!

  11. Count Potato

    I hope the Colorado, Montana, etc. glibs are safe.

    1. Gender Traitor

      This. Plus lotsa milk, bread and eggs for that all-important post-blizzard French toast. (Srsly – be careful out there!)

  12. J. Frank Parnell

    I don’t know why we’re all freaking out about vaping when the real danger to our children is instant soup.

    Unfortunately, too many congresspeople are in the pocket of big instant soup and refuse to pass reasonable regulations and instead allow the instant soup companies to profit off the pain of our children.

    1. Count Potato

      If you toss a baby in the soup the protein makes you a better quarterback.

      1. Spudalicious

        Am I bad person for laughing at that?

        1. dbleagle

          Personally I worry about Guam tipping over.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs23CjIWMgA

          (Actual still serving )US Congresscritter in action.

          1. Jarflax

            Remember, the median IQ is 100 and 100 is STUPID, but means that the distribution is roughly equivalent to the right and left of the median. So for every person that is out there solving millennium problems, creating new drugs, devising unbreakable cryptography, searching the heavens for clues to the mind of God, or deciphering the genetic code, there is a Hank Johnson or Sheila Jackson Lee.

            Now remember which set writes the laws that govern the others.

          2. Nephilium

            Think of how dumb the average person is, then realize that half of humanity is dumber then that.

          3. Akira

            See, there are tons of instances of Lefties saying incredibly stupid shit, but they always write it off as just an isolated incident or buy the unlikely excuse that it was a joke or something.

            On the other hand, if a non-Leftist says something stupid, it goes into some big anthology that will be trotted out at every opportunity to prove how stoopid they are.

    2. pan fried wylie

      Isn’t getting scalded by instant soup safer than eating it?

    3. Fourscore

      Big sugar, big alcohol, big auto, big swim pool, when does all of this vaping danger nonsense stop? How about suicides of teen age boys after banging their English teacher a dozen times, won’t no one think of them?

      1. Chipping Pioneer
        1. Festus

          I saw them twice around 96 or 97. Fantastic live band.

          1. Chipping Pioneer

            I’m sorry for the loss of your hearing.

          2. Festus

            It was in a cabaret style bar and yes, it was LOUD!

          3. Festus

            These guys were the back-up for one of the shows https://youtu.be/DByMKeQRQp8 They were just kids but they rocked the joint!

      2. leon

        That last one is called Big Booty

    4. Timeloose

      I blame the Japanese

    5. Suthenboy

      100,000 kids scalded by food or drink each year in the US. Obviously we have to ban food and drink.

  13. “Don’t mess with Q whose sole purpose no matter what is to get laid.”

    FIFY.

    Dirndls.

    https://www.pinterest.com/genobonelli/the-dirndl-girls-of-oktoberfest/

    Tits.

    http://archive.li/s2Bew

    1. Also: the sad part is that elk probably had to be euthanized because of dipshit Midwestern (no offense) tourists.

      1. Jarflax

        Elk is tasty. Hopefully they slaughtered it and had dinner.

      2. Spudalicious

        Nah. They would just tell the dipshit tourist that approaching a bull elk during the rut is a great way to get killed.

        1. dbleagle

          Three fall elk incidents.

          I lived three years in the Bozeman area of Montana. Yellowstone has huge herds on Rocky Mountain Elk and every year of two one ends up in somebodies house/store during the rut because I bull will challenge their reflection in the window. As a result some park employees and local residents will place strips of tape or cardboard in their windows to break up the reflection. The animals also know exactly the line of the National Park and will not voluntarily cross it during daylight hours.

          One year when I lived in central California during the rut my primary assistant and myself went out to check the land we managed. We heard two Tule Elk bulls challenging each other so moved to a small hill overlooking the challenge. Two nice bulls with 10-12 point (west count) racks started fighting. The crashes of antlers and heavy bodies was remarkable, much dust rose and they fought for over an hour. By the time it was done as the sun prepared to set both animals were staggering around and bloody with only their main beams with maybe the stumps of 2-3 tines. A few things from that fight. 1) While the fight raged a satellite bull successfully bred three of the surrounding females (cows). 2) A couple of days later we returned to the scene and collected several pounds of antler. I still have some of it. 3) At some point one bull won and he drove off the other. He was taken by a archery hunter a few weeks later. When I checked the animal out the wounds were healing, but several were multiple inches deep in his haunches.

          The first bull I killed with a traditional muzzleloader (caplock .54 cal ball) was a in AZ in the juniper country. My dad and I were covering an area that had recent sign and I had a cow call and he a bull call. WE got a bull angry and he started in to get the challenger (dad) and add to his harem (me) He came out into the open heading right for my dad. Since I quit calling he ignored the blob under the juniper (me) and was going to kick the challengers ass. I nailed him with a perfect shot at 50m, though his engine house and breaking the far side front shoulder. He kept going for the challenger dragging his bad leg for almost 100m before he collapsed dead. (I almost didn’t notice because I was picking myself up from being almost run over by a running cow from the harem.)

          Morale of these tales- do not fuck around at close range with bull elk. But they taste good, not as good as a youngish cow elk, but still they are great eating.

          1. These were awesome stories.

            While the fight raged a satellite bull successfully bred three of the surrounding females (cows)

            Helluva wingman there.

          2. dbleagle

            In other words, handle with care.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o4s1KVJaVA

          3. Spudalicious

            Great stories. That’s why I’m always impressed by people that take elk and moose with a bow.

          4. I tried bowing at a deer once, and it didn’t die.

          5. Spudalicious

            That’s the problem with bow hunting. It’s typically a matter of trailing the blood line, waiting for them to bleed out. I prefer taking an animal to be quick and clean, but then again, there’s been a number of birds that I’ve knocked down, and then had to finish the job by hand.

          6. Suthenboy

            The elk is gay. I can tell because he didnt want to be shot at 50 yards and then he refused to crawl 100 yards.

          7. pan fried wylie

            Juniper Country is a thing? *gazes towards the horizon wistfully*

        2. Not Adahn

          So it’s not just bears that can smell it, huh?

      3. Nephilium

        In fairness, some Midwesterners try to earn their deaths.

        /remembers arguing with a girl wanting to walk between two fighting Buck Whitetails

    2. Chipping Pioneer

      Prost, frauleins!

  14. pan fried wylie

    “The Indian and the buffalo existed hand in hand.”

    The buffalo didn’t really get anything out of the relationship did they?

    1. Fourscore

      “The Indian and the buffalo existed hand in hand.”

      Hand in hoof, yeah, I’m guessing the buffalo were here first and weren’t wearing Indian robes.

      1. Jarflax

        Nobly living in tune with nature and peace with their fellow man! Do not ask what happened to the megafauna of the Americas, the Anasazi, or the 10s of thousands of ‘guests’ of the Aztecs every year. People are people. Red or Yellow, Brown, Black or White People love to kill each other, take each other’s stuff and break things. That is why I am proposing that we do everything we can to find another intelligent species somewhere in the Galaxy, and then go drive them before us and listen to the sweet sweet lamentation of their egg layers! Only then will humans truly learn to love one another!

    1. Jarflax

      Coming from the Bee that would just be satire. From the Onion? I think it is a “shut up and go away” message.

    2. dbleagle

      Sometimes they retain the old spark.

    3. Chafed

      The Onion still has a sense of humor. Good to know.

  15. Timeloose

    I don’t know who is a college football fan, but #1 ranked Clemson almost lost to NC a 2&2 team. I hope they are suitably punished in the polls.

    1. leon

      Yeah. I don’t recall if they were being panned by the Don , but that would have been a good hide.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        I had them going down since day one.

        But that one’s easy math: the chances that they stay perfect were thin (a mistake, some injuries, coach gets caught in a an unpersoning vortex, act of Zardoz, you get the picture) . . . . they couldn’t go up.

        Yes: NewWife and I were pulling for Mack Brown (from TN, btw) just to drink to a Clemson loss. I agree: it’s a Pyrrhic victory for UNC, but a complete denuding for Clemson.

        Protipea > > Southerners can be picked out of a crowd this way: we pronounce Clemson so that is hints at sounding like Clumsun.

    2. creech

      Gutsy of NC to go for two points and try to win.

      1. Timeloose

        I agree. I was watching on espn gamecast, so I couldn’t figure out how they din’t Tie it up initially. Ballsy but stupid in my opinion.

    3. Spudalicious

      That’s gonna hurt.

    4. AlmightyJB

      Wow. Yeah that should drop them out of the top 5, especially with their cake schedule. We’ll see I guess.

    5. hayeksplosives

      I made the same observation, but harbor doubts as to whether the pills will reflect it adequately.

  16. Count Potato

    “Hillary Launches Campaign To Raise $100 Million Or Else She’ll Run For President”

    https://politics.theonion.com/hillary-launches-campaign-to-raise-100-million-or-else-1830416470

    1. Count Potato

      and I poop

      1. Jarflax

        sksksksk

        1. Rhywun

          pisspisspisspiss

    2. leon

      That’s pretty good. Didn’t a Hillary supporter buy the Onion right before the election? Their coverage was not that dispassionate.

    3. hayeksplosives

      Is the Onion being forced to up its game because Babylon Bee rubs laps around them?

      It’s been a while since Onion landed a jab on a leftie.

      1. TARDIS

        rubs?

  17. BEAM’s not normal, y’all

    So, I’m sitting in a bar at Pearson International watching something called “TicToc by Bloomberg.”. Holy Mary Mother of God, I didn’t think it was possible to get stupider in real time. Apparently you don’t have to have a functioning brain-stem to watch this.

    1. Rhywun

      Does CNN has a Canadian branch?

      1. BEAM’s not normal, y’all

        No, Thank God.

      2. That’s what the CBC is for.

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, I figure that’s what plays in all the airports and dentist offices.

    2. Suthenboy

      Global warming crap?
      Bloomberg…isnt that the soda and gun control guy? Anything to advance authoritarianism is right up his alley and AGW is custom made for that.

  18. Count Potato

    “Starting to look like two possible outcomes: Trump and a number of others end up in jail, or thousands of journalists end up in prison camps”

    https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/1177731227807338497

    The New York Times could have saved a lot of money by hiring Miss Cleo.

    1. AlmightyJB

      He’s such an idiot.

    2. Chipping Pioneer

      The replies are pretty savage.

    3. Suthenboy

      I am still waiting for Trump’s vigilante gangs of murder cannibal rapists roaming the streets. One of the writers at TOS assured us that would happen. Is Krugman working for Reason now?

      1. Breet Pharara

        Is that not happening around you? Here is Chicago, it’s not uncommon for gay black men to be attacked by MAGA hat wearing dudes with bleach and a noose.

    4. Or Not Adahn.

  19. Count Potato

    “After a bad day, some people come home and kick the furniture. I get on the internet and make fun of the New York Times.”

    https://twitter.com/sarahjeong/status/404814522306662401

    “SARAH JEONG OUT AT NEW YORK TIMES EDITORIAL BOARD ???”

    https://twitter.com/LevineJonathan/status/1177767117564891136

  20. mikey

    Glib parents. A project to do with your kids the weeked.

    https://youtu.be/3ai8C4f7zjY

    1. Count Potato

      Awesome!

      1. dbleagle

        Sure science fair winner, or expulsion. Either way, DO IT!

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Response from the previous thread:

          Yeah I agree. Pinnacle Peak Patio isn’t great. The last time I ate at Reatta Pass the steak was pretty good.

          For those who are wondering what we are yammering on about. Its where this scene was filmed (never mind the music dubbed over).

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dRQcZUkLRoQ

          That said, if you want a steak in Phoenix, there is only Durant’s.

          1. dbleagle

            I will try to remember Durant’s the next time I am in the area. But truly the only way to have a steak in the Phoenix area is to go to the Tonto National Forest. Find an area with an unobstructed view of the western skyline and get a bunch of mesquite. Wait for the sunset colors and burn the mesquite down to coals, cook steak to your liking and consume with your beverages of choice. Enjoy the desert getting dark and the bats coming out.

          2. blackjack

            That, or you can drive 400 miles west and get them easily.

          3. Yusef

            But it’s Cali, fuck that

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            National Forest

            That’s not Phoenix, thats Payson. Which is nice

  21. Count Potato

    “WOW, they got caught. End the Witch Hunt now!”

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1178076844135976966

    1. Rhywun

      Whew, I’m glad Dr. Gu is there to set the record straight.

      1. leon

        Hi Dr Nick!!

      2. Jarflax

        Every tweet by Trump I have seen he is the first 3 or 4 replies. Does this guy sit around all day waiting or Donald to take a crap?

        1. Rhywun

          I saw him quoted in a f’in news article the other day. I laffed.

  22. hayeksplosives

    My Alma Mater is looking pretty good in NCAAF tonight.

  23. AlmightyJB

    Have an assortment of beers in the fridge for the game. Starting out string with a Victory Golden Monkey Belgian Tripel 9.5%.

    1. hayeksplosives

      Which game?

      1. AlmightyJB

        Buckeyes vs Cornhuskers.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Yeah, I switched to that one after the Kansas State/Ok State game took a 30 min lightning delay.

          1. AlmightyJB

            That should be a good game once the lightning clears out.

          2. Spudalicious

            There’s been some really lopsided games today.

      2. dbleagle

        I am about to open a Stortebecker Keller-Bier. I picked it up in Germany and have never tried it. Some Keller Biers are excellent since they age deep in the ground and have open CO2 vents which admit elements of the storage and aging site.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Don’t believe I’ve tried any.

    2. Timeloose

      The Sour Monkey has made it into my rotation. Good stuff

      1. AlmightyJB

        I’m not big on Sours but I like that one. Probably because it’s so close to the Golden Monkey and it’s not terribly tart. I can only have one though.

        1. Timeloose

          It’s a one and done for me as well. I usually split it with my wife.

  24. Rhywun

    I’m simmering Food Labs’ Texas Chili recipe but with Adjika that I found in the market across the street and the smell is driving me crazy. Two more hours to go!

    1. Spudalicious

      So, dinner at midnight?

      1. Rhywun

        Nah, looks like around 10pm.

        I eat late anyway.

  25. Count Potato

    “Why did the Toronto Star just remove a high quality Trudeau blackface video? ”

    https://www.thepostmillennial.com/why-did-the-toronto-star-just-remove-a-high-quality-trudeau-blackface-video/

    “A new high quality video of @JustinTrudeau dancing in blackface”

    https://twitter.com/TPostMillennial/status/1178027994285260800

    1. Count Potato

      “This dude really stuffed his pants ?”

      https://twitter.com/heckyessica/status/1178051702785806341

      1. AlmightyJB

        OMG:) what an embarrassment.

      2. leon

        I’m no Trudaeu Fan boi, but how can you even tell that’s him vs some generic Chad?

        1. AlmightyJB

          Black face canadians all look a like to me.

  26. LJW

    Has this been shared? Hilarious!

    https://youtu.be/CLxpgRqxtEA

    1. Count Potato

      LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    2. blackjack

      That’s great! +1 NATAS!

      1. dbleagle

        Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

    3. Spudalicious

      That was awesome.

    4. AlmightyJB

      I’m dying:) lol:) that’s like perfect.

    5. Yusef

      fucking Awesome! it’s really perfect,

    6. Festus

      I laughed so hard I that I scared the dog! Outstanding!

    7. TARDIS

      Insrument: IKEA Growl Mic

      Nice!

  27. blackjack

    Nugent was such a badass. It’s a shame about his recent persona.

    1. AlmightyJB

      My first concert ever. ’79 or ’80? With Amboy Dukes. Krokus opened.

      1. blackjack

        Stayed awake all night?

        1. AlmightyJB

          While eating the rich.

      2. TARDIS

        That was my older brother’s first concert too, in Berlin. Then it was my first concert the following tour, in Stuttgart. Gamma (Ronnie Montrose) opened for Pat Travers who opened for the Nuge. It was in some warehouse/convention hall and was standing room only. People would get crushed on the barrier (a big bar) in front of the stage. As people got exhausted from pushing back against the crowd, they would get pulled over, and space would get created. A few songs into Ted’s first set, we were front row on the bar. We cheered as we got to the front. I turned to the stage as Ted jumped off the the drum stand. When he landed, the flashpots went off our faces. I was deaf and blind for the whole of Stormtroopin.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I still play Montrose on the jukebox all the time.

        2. blackjack

          That is a rock and roll approved story. I’ll allow it. Boom,Boom, out goes the bad motorscooter. THEN the house in the way got burned down.

    2. Festus

      “Double Live Gonzo” was in heavy rotation in my parent’s basement circa 1978 -79.

  28. AlmightyJB

    Beer 2. Boulevard Dark Truth Imperial Stout 9.7%. First time having this beer. Porters and Stouts are my jam and I’m really digging this. Oil can viscosity. Rich, dark, smooth and delicious. Hint that f coffee but not overwhelming. Would buy again.

    1. Yusef

      My Man! Stouts, Porter’s and Sours are my favorites

  29. Count Potato

    “Elizabeth Warren says her parents had to elope because she was part Cherokee and part Delaware.”

    https://twitter.com/AlytaDeLeon/status/1178019629102505986

    How?

    1. How? Because small town gossip is ALWAYS right and NEVER has a personal bias against somebody. Everybody in small towns get along fabulously and never EVER have contention and ALWAYS know the truth about EVERYONE.

      1. Nephilium

        Mojeaux, after all this time, you deploy the sarcasm?

        1. I am usually more bitter than sarcastic.

          Truth is, y’all are head and shoulders smarter than I am, and often I think my sarcasm is childish.

          1. Nephilium

            Nah. At least my brain meat is just broken in special ways.

            Besides, you have created something that has changed this entire place in a way more then I have you cunte. 🙂

          2. you cunte

            Awww *blush* pshaw.

          3. Jarflax

            Yes, we are all brilliant scintillating wits. We never say genius things like we’d hold Squeaky Fromme’s knife lol

          4. we’d hold Squeaky Fromme’s knife

            You aren’t wrong…

          5. Sir Digby

            If this tells you anything about my random thoughts, I was pondering “cunte” as I returned from the store this morning. That led to “cunte and cod”, which then led to “Codde and Cunte”–just like “Field and Stream”, or, “The Swan and Paedo“but, different.

    2. leon


      ?
      ‏ @AlytaDeLeon

      And it looks like this entire story turned out to be entirely made up

      I’m sorry, but has this person been under a rock?

    3. hayeksplosives

      Didn’t the DNA test prove otherwise?

  30. TV night with Mr. Mojeaux. Watching Emergence. Frumpy housefrau police chief is Frances McDormand Lite, although not a pregnant one.

    1. AlmightyJB

      My wife recorded that.

      1. WAY TO OWN IT!!!

      2. AlmightyJB

        Fucking cops. I guess they’re not instructed on the Constitution on purpose.

        1. Jarflax

          They read the secret writings from Article VIII:
          Section I
          In all cases Federal action may be justified because fuck you, that’s why.
          Section II
          Everyone is guilty until proven innocent or proven to be employed by the State
          Section III
          The prohibition against Bills of Attainder and Ex Post Facto laws shall not apply to people who are icky, or who offend the powerful
          Section IV
          Graduation from an Ivy League University shall confer a patent of nobility.
          Section V
          This article shall take effect upon the decision by the people that actually matter that smelly working people are getting uppity.

      1. Count Potato

        Gilmored

  31. Hey.

    I know that first guy.

  32. Gender Traitor

    Straight out of the Department of Too Damn Local: Little suburban/rural school district near Dayton is badass. I am irrationally proud of ’em.

    1. Rhywun

      now they’re one of four districts in Miami County to utilize the sheriff’s department for help

      And… the nut-punch.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Swing…

      From 2011 to 2017, the district didn’t have a school resource officer, but now they’re one of four districts in Miami County to utilize the sheriff’s department for help.

      …and a miss.

      1. Rhywun

        God what a fucking echo-chamber around here.

        /yes I am calling back to the The Troubles from earlier this week

        1. Suthenboy

          You took the words right out of my mouth

      2. Gustave Lytton

        And me too.

  33. AlmightyJB

    Number 3. Ommegang Three Philosophers Quadrupel with cherries added 9.7%. This beer is delicious. I was very unsure about the cherries, but it’s really just an accent and really makes the beer. I will be buying more of these.

    1. Yusef

      Fuck You, I’m totally jealous now, I hope you enjoy your awesome beer!
      /JK, truly great beers you have tonight,,

      1. AlmightyJB

        Thanks Yusef:) I’m enjoying for sure.

  34. Gender Traitor

    Just ‘cuz it seems kinda quiet around here at the moment, here’s what is possibly my all-time favorite song, dedicated to any and all Glibs who may be struggling to scrape together enough o’ that filthy lucre to survive.

    1. I thought it was going to be <a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AIOAlaACuv4^"this

      1. Eh, I didn’t close the link properly, but it still works.

        1. blackjack

          No, you didn’t close it on the proper link. That’s a Ted s. song!

        2. Gender Traitor

          That reminded me of another fave, but more full of wist. For those struggling in general.

          1. blackjack

            Broke folks tune.

          2. Gender Traitor

            Good ‘un.

          3. AlmightyJB

            I’m a man of means, by no means

            https://youtu.be/7HBQFjoqDYE

          4. Gender Traitor

            Fun fact: My maternal grandfather did some hoboing (sp?) after he got back from serving in WWI. Almost ended up on a chain gang in FL, ‘cuz they REALLY didn’t like hoboes down there. Left as a proper train passenger with a baby alligator in a box. Lost it on the train.

          5. AlmightyJB

            Lol. Awesome story. You should just make something up about the future of the alligator though:) lol. Artistic license:)

          6. Rhywun

            Proto Florida Man.

          7. Festus

            My paternal Grandpa rode the rails after he was drummed out of the U.S. Cavalry for stealing 45’s and selling them off base. This was sometime in the late ’20s-early ’30s.

    2. Tejicano

      Here’s one that’s stuck in my mind recently – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An4uDegHB8s

      1. blackjack

        I love every version of Littlewing I’ve ever heard, but I prefer this for my SRV fix.

        1. Yusef

          Yes, SRV makes me sad…. in a blues way

      1. Gender Traitor

        Interesting fave. I like to ponder what a person’s favorite song may tell us about him/her. But I generally keep my ponderings and/or conclusions to myself.

        1. CPRM

          I’d be happy to hear your ponderings. I of course know why it’s beloved by me, but I’d love to get a take from you just for shits and giggles.

          1. Gender Traitor

            Right here? In front of the whole Gliberverse? If so, I’ll try to be appropriately vague and cryptic.

          2. CPRM

            Well, you have a Mr. So I wouldn’t want to be so presumptuous as to have you DM me on twitter like Anthony Wiener. But…

    3. Chipping Pioneer

      When I’m feeling mellow, this is my favourite :

      https://youtu.be/Md8EesTaIsA

      But this is the greatest song of all time :

      https://youtu.be/apBWI6xrbLY

      Fight me.

      1. Gender Traitor

        Any love for this Marley cover?

        1. Chipping Pioneer

          To be sure, it’s a nice cover.

  35. CPRM

    Busy day, drove into the city (Green Bay is 45 minutes away, and yes it is a city, big city round these parts) for a sale at the comic book shop, then went to work, got home from work and animated a cartoon; now I can finally relax.

    1. blackjack

      By my remembrance of WI, 45 minutes away=8 miles of no traffic (they like going slow up there!)

      1. CPRM

        Sounds like your only experience in WI is around Milwaukee.

        1. blackjack

          Yes sir.

          1. blackjack

            There was MINIMUM speed limit signs with fines listed and everything.

          2. CPRM

            Yeah, Milwaukee is full of libtards old ladies. The real Wisconsin 45 minutes means about 60 miles.

  36. Gustave Lytton

    Rugby World Cup, Volleyball World Cup, Sumo Autumn Basho… somehow I missed the 2019 Shoeshine championship

    https://youtu.be/MGD7JHrveC4

  37. Yusef

    Well, I learned that Nevada Weed prices are outrageous, and the Quality is Meh,
    My Daughter is an admin for a Grow operation in Arizona, 500$ for a medical card,
    Needles California, half the price, better selection, I’m headed south tomorrow,
    Needles is only 30 miles away, irony? Gas is 3.50$ a gallon, AZ it’s 2.50

  38. AlmightyJB

    Speaking of Montrose

    https://youtu.be/fgg5eDLsiTQ

    1. Yusef

      Sorry, but that was terrible and ameteurish, they were young, so it’s OK

      1. AlmightyJB

        Also, amateurish and raw but from Australia I believe. Still good shit.

        https://youtu.be/fnNtz5Z1svg

      2. Festus

        That’s half the charm, Yusef! I still listen to that album once in awhile when I’m working.

      1. blackjack

        Here we go again… I love UFO, and hits are hits for a reason, but this feeds my UFO jones way better. What can I say? I like some b-side action.

        1. Yusef

          The G kids were dancing, good call

        2. AlmightyJB

          You guys are gonna have me searching my house for forgotten coke if you keep that shit up:)

      2. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, Hager was what? 16? I like raw shit. Oh I do love UFO. You gotta go live:)

        https://youtu.be/iv9CqO3bwqU

        1. TARDIS

          Yesssss!

          1. blackjack

            Man! I feel like I’m getting kicked out of high school all over again!

          2. Festus

            Who says you aren’t? j/k

  39. DrOtto

    Just “sksksksksk and I oop” the kids – where did you hear that? They were very curious.

    1. Tejicano

      Isn’t that how you pronounce the contents of this photo? – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An4uDegHB8s

    2. Suthenboy

      Every generation tries to be unique and draw attention to themselves. After you have seen more than a few of them repeat the same ol’ tricks and then grow out of it the whole ‘latest new exciting totally original shtick’ gets incredibly cliche. After seeing enough of them I cant really tell them apart. This bunch is recycling some ’90’s kitsch? I didnt even realize that stuff was special or even out of style. Now I see why being immortal would drive someone nuts. Imagine having to watch that over and over for eternity.

      1. Tejicano

        After a while you stop watching

      2. Yusef

        Liberace, Little Richard, Bowie, Alice, Marylin Manson, same thing, different times…….

        1. Akira

          When jazz first became popular in the late 1910s and early 1920s, the older generation was lambasting it as nothing but garbage music; no-talent noise made by a bunch of undisciplined punks.

          And there are statements on record from jazz musicians from the ’50s about this newfangled rock and roll music calling it exactly the same thing.

          1. Yusef

            Jazz is just a jumble of notes, I play it well….

      3. AlmightyJB

        Valley Girl, Emo, Goth, Bi, different flavor of Valley Girl. The trite edgeness of the spoiled.

        1. The trite edgeness of the spoiled.

          That is poetic.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Must be those hi octane beers talkin’:)

          2. Suthenboy

            Agreed. I am stealing that.

      4. To me, it’s Valley Girl on speed and not quite as creative.

    1. AlmightyJB

      No. But that’s a decent idea.

      1. MikeS

        I love Crac…

        *clicks*

        …what the fuck is this?

        1. Festus

          Hey, I’m old. Whatcha gonna do?

    2. CPRM

      How deep is the snow there?

      1. MikeS

        No snow…yet.

    3. Nephilium

      Evening MikeS. Congratulations to your Twins, and may they do well in the post season.

      1. MikeS

        Thanks, Neph’. That sucks to have 93 wins and not make the playoffs. Especially when you look at the NL records. You guys had a hell of a year, and made one hell of a comeback.

        I hope the Twins can represent the Central well and not completely shit the bed against the Yankees like, well, basically every other playoff meeting for my entire adult life.

        1. Nephilium

          We did it to ourselves. We dropped way too many games against teams with terrible records. The worst is knowing that the next couple of years are probably going to be rebuilding ones for the Tribe.

          And fuck the Yankees.

          1. MikeS

            Fuck the Yankees

          2. Gender Traitor

            Fuck the Yankees and the Braves.

          3. Festus

            ^ This. Always this.

  40. AlmightyJB

    #4. A lot less potent and a lot more local. Homestead Tenpenny Amber Ale 5.2%. I’m not at all bias because they’re local. This is a good Amber/Red. Very drinkable.

  41. On a different musical note, I grew up with a Christmas compilation by Columbia House. The Magic of Christmas. I mean, we played the hell out of those records. I’ve been gathering Christmas music since I was 18 to try to force it to become as magic as that compilation I grew up with, but alas, that wasn’t ever going to happen. Finally, FINALLY, I got my hands on the track listing for that compilation last year and bought as much of it as I could find. Right now I’m putting together a playlist on YouTube. I will share it if you want it.

    1. AlmightyJB

      My Christmas song

      https://youtu.be/uMtteocAA80

      1. Festus

        Stop! Just Stop It! It’s still September.

      2. I love that song.

        That one I linked has some really obscure ones, like this one.

      3. blackjack

        Here’s mine.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Would…come home. Lucky she survived Spector:)

    2. Nephilium

      You could always go the Bad Religion route, or if you prefer you could go the Vandals route.

      1. Rhywun

        I gave up on BR after too many mediocre albums. Was a huge fan despite the retarded lyrics.

        1. Nephilium

          It takes a lot for me to drop a band/book series. One of the few I’ve written off is Flogging Molly. After the lead singer gave up drinking (because of his wife, and alcoholism), and started faking it on stage, their albums went downhill quickly.

    3. This exists. Don’t judge me.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Where is HM’s gay dog? Lol.

      2. MikeS

        ?

        ??

        ?

        ?

        1. dbleagle

          This is the classic from that channel.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0nERTFo-Sk

  42. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

    Rode 75 miles with 1500 ft of climbing as a penance for getting sloshed last week at Oktoberfest in SF. Hope it makes a dent in my beer callous.

    1. Nephilium

      Sounds like a good ride. Unfortunately storms, and other plans prevented me from going riding today. Next weekend I’ve got a friend asking me to help her get to her first metric century (she just got her first half century a couple weeks back). After that, I’m on call through nearly the end of October, so that will be about the end of my road riding for the year.

      1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        I’m planning on doing my first full century in about a month. I’m not so worried about the distance, but it also has about 8500 feet of climbing.

        1. Nephilium

          Good for you. The full century is still on my bucket list. My longest day so far is only around 75 miles. That’s one hell of a climb though, one of the worst rides I did was called the Sweet Corn Challenge. The half century had over 2,750 feet of climbs, which is large here in northern Ohio. What’s the worst grade you have to deal with?

          1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            Overall about 7% but I’m sure there are spots that are over 10%.

          2. Nephilium

            Damn. Enjoy your climbs. Most of my rides have a max grade of around 5% (Sweet Corn had a max over 11%).

            I’m probably not going to be able to get the century in this year, but I’ve started looking towards spin studios so I can try to keep up my form over the winter. I’ve got a trainer and a stationary, but I hate spending time on them.

          3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            I’ve been training on some 20-22% climbs around here, including some on dirt. Not a lot of fun, but it’s nice to know I can do it. The Tour of California came over one them in May, and the pros made it look easy.

  43. Suthenboy

    Speaking of music, I keep seeing an ad using some lyrics “all around the world we are one….where did we all go wrong”
    Guess what dipshit. We are not all one. More than half of the world is crouching in the dark sharpening their knives and whispering “Keep telling yourself that”.
    We didnt go wrong. You did in your naive assumptions.

    1. Rhywun

      Heh I know exactly the song you’re describing. Nails on chalkboard. No idea what they’re advertising.

  44. Jarflax

    The band that played the last show at my nightclub had a reunion show tonight in Georgetown and I keep getting texts asking why I didn’t come. The only notice I had about it was a Facebook invite that I saw for the first time yesterday. I’m feeling all nostalgic now 🙁

  45. Aus

    Fun short animation:

    “Crimson Alpine:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZSkFLJx4fE

  46. CPRM

    Ok, I’m actually kinda drunk. Was waiting for Sir Digby to show up, but looks like he’s ‘sleeping’. Pussy!

    1. Sir Digby

      Horseshit

      1. Festus

        There’s Digby! He knows what’s up!

        1. Sir Digby

          I will after the post goes up. You staying up for long haul, or gotta crash earlier?

          1. Festus

            I’ll be there but might miss an hour or so as per usual.

          2. straffinrun

            You got a late night post tonight? In ten minutes?

          3. Sir Digby

            Supposed to…

    2. Sir Digby

      C’mon, C! What you got goin’ on, other than a buzz?

  47. MikeS

    Is Spud still around?

    I bought New Riff Straight Rye whiskey this weekend. Enjoying a neat Glencairn right now. I am not a good reviewer, but here it goes:

    Nose: Vanilla…Oak?…pepper if you inhale deeply. (A LOT of pepper if you inhale too deeply)

    Taste: starts smooth…then oak…then pepper…black pepper…then it starts to heat up a bit. Partly the 100 proof, partly that’s just how this rye is. There’s a pepper-like “burn” that starts on the roof of the mouth and moves back towards the throat. It’s wonderful. Delicious. Amazing flavor.

    That’s likely the worst review ever written.

    I think I might have a good analogy: New Riff is to Rye, as Islay whiskys are to Scotch. And it’s glorious.

    1. Nephilium

      On topic:

      Why I’m Quitting the Glencairn Glass

      Of course, I’m the last to talk considering the amount of glassware I have (including two Glencairns I got for free).

      1. MikeS

        Uffda. Now debating glassware choices is deserving of “feature” articles? Yay internet?!?!?

        Also, someone needs to tell this moron that you don’t need to actually get your nose into the glass to smell the whiskey. What a fool.

  48. Count Potato

    “I have moved on from this climate thing… From now on I will be doing death metal only!!”

    https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg/status/1178002285751865344

    1. straffinrun

      That video… Works perfectly.

    2. Festus

      Nice call back.

    1. blackjack

      We’re gonna need a bigger roll of t/p!

  49. Festus

    So this happened today, youngest Granddaughter wandered away from her Dad and his parents at a hockey game and was missing for about ten minutes. Dad found her outside the rink in the parking lot, striking up conversations with strangers. She’s just turned four and you mean to tell me that three adults can’t watch one toddler? The best part was when Grandma gave my daughter shit for not properly training her child. She hates daughter and always thought that her son “married down”. Wifey is furious.

    1. Gender Traitor

      Glad Granddaughter was found OK relatively quickly (though I’m sure it felt longer to Daddy!) Sorry about the drama. Reminds me how lucky I’ve been in the MIL dept. – Hubby #1’s mom was long dead, Current hubby’s mom was an amazing woman – and I considered it a huge honor that she liked me!

      1. Festus

        Thanks GT. Daughter gave her MIL three beautiful grandchildren and works full time. If anything her hubby married up. This is why I don’t do family functions, at all.

      2. My MIL is my husband’s stepmother. She and I get along fabulously because we essentially married the same dude. Sometimes I text her and go, “Did Mr. Mojeaux’s dad do X thing?”

        My husband’s mother is dead, which is a good thing. For her.

    2. That’s awful. What does your SIL do about it? Talk to his mother? Get his dad to talk to his mother? Something courteous like, “She’s my wife so sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.”

      My mom had an awful MIL (yes, my gma). My dad NEVER had the will to believe how badly my gma treated my mom and he would never have had the balls to tell her off if he did believe it.

      So…your SIL needs to man up and do something about the war your daughter’s MIL has declared on her.

      1. Festus

        It’s…complicated. I think her in-laws helped with the down payment on the condo (Vancouver so not an amount to be sneezed at) but I hope that they can’t hold that over their heads forever. It’s not a strange situation, to be honest. My mother hated all my girlfriends and eventually my wives.

    3. straffinrun

      Always scared the hell out of me when the kid was little and would wander off like that. Imagine being 2 feet tall, have no money, no phone and not even know your own address. “I’ll be fine on my own. Somebody will find me.” *Strolls away pimp style*

      1. Festus

        I was notorious for doing that buck nekked. I’d get found in the most unlikely places.

      2. Sir Digby

        pimp style

        Which IS the best style.

  50. Count Potato
    1. Festus

      I think that’s one of those “hold the knife” scenarios alluded to above.

    2. Sir Digby

      So, she’s “woulding”, eh.

      /don’t stick it in infanticidal*

      *or, whatever

      1. hayeksplosives

        Great minds, and all that.

    3. hayeksplosives

      Needs attention for a while, then the inevitable discarding of the poor doomed child.

      Is there a man in America who doesn’t know she’s a crazy homicidal bitch?