SEA SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

SEA SMITH SAY HI!

SEA SMITH HAPPY HE GET TURN AT LINKS. HE LIKE WHEN HE GIVE LINKS FOR GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMANS. IT NICE BREAK FROM EXAMINE SHIPS. BY EXAMINE, MEAN RAPE. SHIPS. AND CREW. BUT SEA SMITH NOT BLAME SOMETIME. HE NOT NEAR GREECE! NOW SEA SMITH LAUGH – HE NOT STOP BY COATING. HE STILL “INVASIVE SPECIES” IYKWSSMAITYD.

ENJOY LINKS. THAT SEA SMITH GIVE. HERE. FOR YOU.

  1. SEA SMITH SHOCKED. SHOCKED HE SAY! LUCKY SEA SMITH ANSWER EMAIL FROM OIL MINISTER LAST WEEK! SEA SMITH WAIT FOR TREASURE NOW.
  2. THIS NOT PROBLEM FOR SEA SMITH. HE LAUGH AT HOOMANS WHO DO THIS.
  3. THIS PLEASANT SURPRISE SEA SMITH. THEM NOT KNOW SAY “I WAS IN FEAR FOR MY LIFE” OR “FURTIVE MOVEMENT”?

MUSIC LINK!

 

COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!

NICE FISHIE!

Comments

244 responses to “SEA SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS”

  1. Sitting in the furshlugginer Newark airport. Incoming flight is ninety minutes late. There isn’t a bar near here. Dammit.

    1. Well, at least I nailed a First.

      1. First First past one million undeleted comments.

      2. Sean

        ?????

    2. Are you back in Newark? Or haven’t left?

      1. Trying to leave. Worse luck, we have to come back.

    3. BEAM’s not a team player

      There’s an airport somewhere on Earth that doesn’t have a bar?

      Fuck me.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Provo and Riyadh.

      2. The Bearded Hobbit

        I haven’t made the trip in years but there used to be a bar halfway up the structure of the control tower at the airport at Oakland, CA. It was kind of cool, sort of secret, that you had to know the location of the elevator to get there. Once in the bar, it offered 270 degree views of the airport and surrounding area. I thought that it was very cool that the bartender remembered me even though my single visits were three years apart.

        Last time I was there was before 9/11 so it’s probably long gone by now.

        1. Rhywun

          Neat. I remember visiting a now long-gone bar inside a subway station in Midtown Manhattan. Kinda cramped and no views, though.

        2. Akira

          My friends found the jankiest bar ever (in Kettering, Ohio) called Safari Hideaway. It’s in the back of a fucking shopping center, literally between the loading docks behind the building. There are just rows and rows of semi trucks, then this red awning with cheap lights strung about. There were cardboard animals, fake grass, and tiki torches inside.

          1. Tres Cool

            ex-wife was friends with a gal from Kettering, and we spent a lot of time in the Phone Booth. Its on Whipp

    4. DEG

      I hate Newark Airport. You have my sympathies.

      1. Isn’t Newark where every seat in the terminal has a monitor, and you can order a drink off it that gets delivered directly to you? That’s what’s replaced bars. Not sure that is every terminal but definitely United.

        Don’t feel bad, I’m in O’Hare right now. Hard to judge which airport is worse.

        1. Nephilium

          I believe so (at least I think it was Newark I flew out of when I went to Dublin). There were a couple of bars, but they were spread out.

        2. DEG

          Isn’t Newark where every seat in the terminal has a monitor, and you can order a drink off it that gets delivered directly to you? That’s what’s replaced bars. Not sure that is every terminal but definitely United.

          That sounds like LaGuardia.

          1. Rhywun

            Not when I was there last year a couple times.

          2. DEG

            The Delta terminal, when I was there a few years ago, had iPads/monitors to order drinks at. I didn’t stop by any other terminal when I was at LaGuardia.

        3. Newark does have those, but last night, we were down in some little annex sub-level to catch a little commuter plane to Grand Rapids. So no terminals, no drinks.

          But hey, upgrade, so free booze on the plane.

  2. Yusef changed his handle

    HELLO!
    TALL CANS!!!!!!!!!!
    BOOM

    1. DEG

      I drunk a lot at Happy Hour.

      1. Nephilium

        I’m back at home after planning on hitting bars all night. The girlfriend was not feeling well. So instead of enjoying lots of good beers and cocktails through the Tremont area, I have to deal with a (currently) anemic beer selection at home, and whatever cocktails I decide to make. On the other hand, I did get some swag that I can send out in my BIF package.

        1. blackjack

          Getting ready to head out to the bar. Kid has gym class and this place is across the street. Only get in about two hours, but it’s a cool place. No cover either.

          1. Nephilium

            If I hadn’t already paid for a Lyft ride out and back already, I may be up for going back out. But, on the plus side, we found a decent cocktail bar with a really good happy hour deal. $10 a drink instead of the usual $15. They don’t have a menu, but they do the give us the concept you’re looking for, tell us what you like, and we’ll try to match it.

            I was more upset that I knew what the bittering spirit was, but couldn’t place it. It was Fernet Branca.

          2. blackjack

            Yeah. It’s hard to describe, but that vid is taken from a barstool at the bar. The band is, at most 15 feet away. Some bands are really good, but even mediocre is cool when you’re basically standing right in front of them. I have two pints and my wife has two wines and we both have some street tacos and it costs about 30.00 with tip. I love this place. Just wish gym class was 3 or 4 hours.

        2. DEG

          I hope your girlfriend gets well soon.

          Anemic beer selection is better than no beer selection.

          1. DEG

            As soon as I hit post, I said to myself, “Nephilium’s idea of ‘anemic’ isn’t what most people would think of as ‘anemic’.”

          2. Nephilium

            Nah. The standard drinking fridge only has about 8 beers in it of 6 different styles. I may have to switch over to bourbon or gin soon.

          3. Rhywun

            I’m almost ready to transition to something serious after a couple tall vodka-Frescas.

          4. Nephilium

            Rhywun: This is a close one to the cocktail offered to me tonight:

            1/2 (1 1/2oz.) Italian (sweet) vermouth
            1/2 (1 1/2oz) dry gin
            2 dashes Fernet-Branca

            The Fernet-Branca was difficult for me to identify. It was something I knew I had had before, but couldn’t place.

          5. Rhywun

            Fernet-Branca

            Never heard of it.

            I might have to make do with Campari instead.

          6. Nephilium

            Rhywun: Fernet-Branca is an herbal liquor that tastes of mint and bitters It’s also a fairly common bartender’s handshake. Back in my days of clubbing, it was Grand Marnier.

          7. Nephilium

            She was trying to blame food poisoning. I had to point out that usually takes a day or two to really set in. My thoughts are she ate way too much at dinner (she ate as much as me).

            And the beer selection is really only anemic because I shouldn’t be diving into the cellar at this point in the evening.

  3. Spudalicious

    Sitting on the balcony of our hotel room overlooking Crescent City harbor on a beautiful afternoon, sipping bourbon.

    1. Afternoon? What odd time zone are you vacationing in?

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I find the bathymetry there very interesting. It’s a tsunami magnet.

    3. Fourscore

      Sitting, beautiful afternoon, bourbon, what’s not to like.? Enough to give a man religion.

    4. And you can actually see the harbor? It may be one of the three days each year in Crescent City that it’s not raining or fogged in. Congratulations!

  4. Playa Manhattan

    1,000,0041

    1. Fourscore

      We made it and more !

      1. Fourscore

        An extra zero but hell, it’s Friday and late afternoon…

    2. Mad Scientist

      Which numbering system are you using?

    3. And I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound Bus, rollin down comment 1,000,041.

      Lord I was born a commenting man….

  5. Fourscore

    “Former President Goodluck Jonathan of accepting bribes”

    I am actually surprised and shocked that a president wasn’t able to steal and cover his tracks better. A person of such poor ability ought not to be running a country. Had he written a book and ‘encouraged’ lobbyists to buy and/or read it he’d have made out OK. If it wasn’t for bad luck Goodluck wouldn’t have had any luck at all. Damn those pesky kids.

  6. BEAM’s not a team player

    Pounding back some of this stuff:

    http://www.fallentimbermeadery.ca/mead.html

    The Dry Traditional. At 14% ABV. Pray for me. Or not.

    1. Nephilium

      I poured myself a homebrewed Saison when I got home, and tossed a homemade bottle of wine in the fridge. The difficult decision is what to drink next.

      1. BEAM’s not a team player

        The difficult decision is what to drink next.

        All of it.

        1. Nephilium

          If I drank all the alcohol in my house, it would kill me (and any lesser man). I’ve currently decided to move over to a rye I picked up last week. Unfortunately it isn’t that good.

  7. LJW

    NYC pizzeria waiter returns half-million dollar cashier’s check to retired social worker who failed to tip him

    “Wasn’t really sure why I was reading this article and the I came across the below quote.

    When she walked in the door, the first thing she told Brija was that she felt awful for not tipping Markaj on Saturday.

    Vinacour said she and her daughter didn’t like Markaj’s reponse when they told him there weren’t enough photos of women on the walls.

    “Maybe women don’t eat a lot of pizza?” Vinacour recalled the waiter saying with a shrug.

    “Well, my daughter’s kind of feisty and she didn’t like that,” Vinacour said at the reunion. “So we didn’t tip him.””

    You and your daughter are human trash.

    1. Fourscore

      Social work must pay quite well.

      /Checks resume/

      1. It’d be karmic if it were something shady and the publicity from the incident leads to her incarceration.

      2. grrizzly

        It’s a downpayment.

    2. They should have torn it up.

      Fuck that woman and her shitty “woke” daughter.

    3. MikeS

      I haven’t seen as petulant and childish team of mother/daughter like that since Joan and Melissa Rivers on the presidents old gig.

    4. Rhywun

      The story was so tediously drawn-out I didn’t make it that far. But meh, people. What are you gonna do?

      1. LJW

        Yup I skipped through it to find what happened when she showed up for her check.

    5. AlmightyJB

      So she’s stupid and a bitch. Nice combo.

      1. Chafed

        So much this.

  8. ??ATTENTION??PLEASE??
    ??guys??if??you??receive??an??email??saying??”naked??pictures??of??Donald??Trump”??don’t??open??it??it??is??a??virus??that??puts??USA??flags??between??everything??you??type??

    1. LJW

      ?‍☠️?‍☠️?‍☠️?‍☠️

    2. Why would you open an email with that subject line anyway?

      *backs away slowly*

      1. Damn your nimble fingers! 😡

        1. MikeS

          I wish there was a “whoosh” emoji for you two.

          1. Mike, sometimes it’s funnier to pretend not to get it.

          2. MikeS

            I don’t get it.

          3. Now you understand.

      2. Fatty Bolger

        He didn’t read past “naked pictures”.

      3. straffinrun

        Someone who doesn’t notice jokes flying over their head?

        1. “Joke” implies it’s funny.

          1. straffinrun

            And around and around we go.

    3. WHo would open “naked pictures of Donald Trump” anyway?

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Ivanka?

        I keed, I keed!!!

    4. Sean

      Put the mushrooms away.

    5. Suthenboy

      Why in the name of God would anyone open that?

      *Eyes Q suspiciously*

      It’s the moobs, right? Go ahead and tell us. We wont judge. *snickers*

    1. MikeS

      #42…wow.

      #11 is a dude.

      #14 will make you Hasenpfeffer.

      1. DEG

        #14 will make you Hasenpfeffer.

        Agreed.

        #19 and #35 reek of Photoshop.

        1. MikeS

          #19 and #35 reek of Photoshop.

          Yep. And possibly #41

      2. Hasenpfeffer?
        As in “Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!”?

        1. Rhywun

          As in “Kill the wabbit!”

    2. straffinrun

      Bastard. I’m at the in-laws this weekend. Check of the medicene cabinet and all I see is Polydent and Tiger Balm. *Shrugs* Eeeny, meeny ….

      1. Gustave Lytton

        No conditioner?

  9. DEG

    Fouling reduces fuel economy, raising CO2 emissions per mile and increasing costs for the shipowner.

    I think only two of those matter.

    However, during the trial, barnacles did not anchor themselves to the tanker’s hull. Selektope activates the barnacle larvae’s octopamine receptor, which keeps them in swimming mode and prevents them from attaching to the hull, non-lethally. A hull inspection conducted at month 35 in the tanker’s in-water-survey schedule established that Team Calypso’s hull was virtually barnacle-free with no soft fouling coverage.

    I wonder how long until the government mandates this anti-fouling stuff.

    “Bribes were paid,” the filing, reviewed by Reuters, states. It says “the receipt of those bribes and the participation in the scheme of said officials was in breach of their fiduciary duties and Nigerian criminal law.”

    Nothing in the article about whether or not Jussie Smollet was involved.

    The good news: “The vast majority of men who may wish to have their penis made longer have a penis of completely normal length, but they often feel that their penis is too small,” Muir tells The Guardian.

    An ex-girlfriend of mine (when she was a girlfriend of mine) and I had a chat about various sexual stuff. I told her, “For a long time, I thought I had a small penis.” She burst out laughing and said, “Just because John Holmes is bigger than you doesn’t mean you are small.”

    Two lazy detectives who dropped child abuse investigations so they could enjoy romantic Chinese meals together have been jailed for a total of three-and-a-half years.

    I’ve done some stupid things for sex, but that takes the cake.

  10. straffinrun

    Two ‘lazy’ detectives who skipped work for ‘lashings’ of Chinese food and sabotaged child abuse investigations by destroying evidence are jailed for a total of almost four years

    Daily Mail needs to stop using google translate for their headlines.

  11. LJW

    Are there any NASCAR fans in here? My wife and I went shopping and out to eat by Kansas Speedway today. I’ve never seen so many RVs in my life. Do these people just RV to every NASCAR race like rich groupies?

    1. Mad Scientist

      They’re just following the deep fried turkey leg and Pepto Bismol trucks around the country.

    2. MikeS

      I’m pretty sure each race’s infield is -mostly- full of regional locals. It’s not much different than a week long music festival. Just that the draw here is racing instead of music.

      1. l0b0t

        My dad would always go to 12 Hours of Sebring every year. The infield is wild; like a giant drunken tailgate party.

      2. You mean crashes.

    3. AlmightyJB

      They have an RV and 6 Trans Ams but they live in a shack with the roof falling in.

      1. As long as they can tow/convoy the transams behind the RV, they don’t need the shack.

    4. mikey

      It’s like an army of rich,retired Dead Heads. The follow the circus everywhere and set up their RVs flying flags with the number of their favorite driver.

      NASCAR weekend in Loudon NH is the only time you’ll so many Mississippi and Georgia plates that for north.

      Went to the race once – a friend had a ticket he couldn’t use. It was underwhelming. Any other form of auto racing is more fun to watch.

    1. straffinrun

      The last time we talked, you said absolutely you respected the bodily integrity of turtles but then went out and bought 800 plastic straws because the paper ones were always shriveling up and you disliked their mouthfeel. You claim you care about that beluga whale, but you don’t care about the whale; you just remembered it because it was in a Raffi song.

      1. BEAM’s not a team player

        Are the other species sentient and self-aware? Do they have philosophy? Do they make complex technologies? No?

        That’s a shame. Cocktail?

    2. “just admit it, you don’t care about other species”

      Damn right, I don’t. Not over humans.

      1. Nephilium

        I care. Pigs, cows, chickens, and lamb are delicious.

    3. Rhywun

      JFC this passive-aggressive “journalism” that all the millennials seem to be into is getting really tiresome.

      Go fuck yourself, WaPo.

      1. straffinrun

        Lecturing imaginary people is not “tiresome”. How dare you?

    4. Suthenboy

      Wow. What a peach.

      “everything on the planet is going extinct and it is all your fault. ”

      No lady, I am not going to give you any money.

    5. BEAM’s not a team player

      I’d love to read this for the LOLs, but it wants me to give it money or something. Anybody got a non-graspy link?

  12. MikeS

    I nominate this guy for the next Darwin Award:

    According to the St. Louis County Sheriff’s Office, deputies found Grider’s vehicle at the Sioux Hustler trailhead on Oct. 22. Grider notified family members and conservation officers that he decided to spend the winter camped in the [Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness].

    i.e. far northern Minnesota

    Authorities searched for Grider’s campsite, but did not locate it until April 5, roughly 1.5 miles from the trailhead. According to a news release, a large amount of blood was found inside a tent at the site, but further search efforts were hampered by deep snow.

    Authorities returned to the scene on April 25, finding apparent human remains scattered across a large area near the campsite. The sheriff’s office said it did not suspect foul play.

    1. The sheriff’s office said it did not suspect foul play

      “It was more likely ursine or feline play.”

      1. “Some possibility it was canine play though.”

    2. KSuellington

      Are there griz in Northern Minnesota? Black bears don’t typically rip apart humans unless they are threatening their cubs. I guess it could be wolves though.

      1. MikeS

        No Griz. My guess is wolves.

        1. It was Wendigos.

          1. MikeS

            Wendigo Smith?

          2. KSuellington

            Steve Smith’s?

        2. Chipping Pioneer

          Agree with MikeS. Sounds like wolves

          Or elves, as autocorrect suggested.

        3. Gustave Lytton

          Winter- wolves, summer- mosquitos?

    3. Suthenboy

      Let me guess….he didn’t have a gun.

      Oh well.

      1. Or they got him in his sleep?

        1. Or he froze to death and then got torn to pieces?

          1. Chafed

            All of the above.

  13. Aus

    ‘sup bitches

    1. Nephilium

      Chaos, confusion, plagues of madness. Usual Friday night.

      1. Databases didn’t come back up cleanly.

        There is much consternation from the testers.

        DBA is exasperated.

        The usual.

        1. J. Frank Parnell

          Did you try turning them off and on again?

          1. Rhywun

            DBA’s don’t like when you play coy like that.

    2. The Bearded Hobbit

      It is six weeks until the Summer Solstice (half-way mark of Summer or the start of Summer, depending upon opinion) and it snowed last night. It’s forecast to snow tonight.

      1. Curse you, Global Warming!

      2. Rhywun

        I’m loving spring so far. It’s an actual season this year instead of the usual one- or two-week interlude between winter and high summer.

        1. The Bearded Hobbit

          For those of us who live in the forest, it has been a wonderful year.

          We’ve had an above-average winter for snowfall and a very wet spring. In addition, we’ve skipped the water-sucking winds of spring. We might actually have a year of low fire danger.

          In the years that I’ve lived here we’ve had snow in May and snow in September. That means we have to cram spring, summer and fall into three months.

          1. Nephilium

            It’s still been damned cold for this time of year in my neck of the woods. I’m glad I picked up a long sleeve thermal jersey at one point, it’s looking like I’m going to need it tomorrow.

  14. Nephilium

    So, who here is Johnny Oleksinski? Because this article could have been written by multiple people here.

    1. straffinrun

      Years ago I came up with a super hero; “Extractor Man”. He can pull any bodily fluid out of any orifice in his enemy’s body. MCU has my permission to use him.

      1. straffinrun

        And if you don’t like that, just use Kermit.

        1. Rhywun

          LOL

      2. Nephilium

        You realize Marvel had a character named the Whizzer who wore a bright yellow costume, right? Any terrible idea probably already exists in the comics.

        1. straffinrun

          Homeless man? BTW, saw Infinity War last night. Infinity better than Endgame.

          1. Nephilium

            Hope that Infinity War answered some of your complaints about Endgame. If it didn’t, I’m still glad you enjoyed it.

          2. Timeloose

            Was there enough of self sacrifice for your adopted homeland. It seemed every 20 minutes a key character was asking another to kill them for the greater good.

          3. straffinrun

            I understand why they did it, but still believe a Superhero movie should be able to stand alone. They aren’t making Tolstoy after all.

    2. Rhywun

      Not it. Granted, I don’t care which Marvel character is gay, but I don’t care about Marvel at all.

      But yeah, I remember the “we need representation” argument playing out in the Star Trek universe a couple decades ago and I thought it was silly then, too.

      1. You had the J’naii; that wasn’t enough?

        1. Rhywun

          It’s like they were reading my mind.

    3. Count Potato

      There are already several gay marvel characters, and gave been for a very long time.

      1. Nephilium

        There’s more then enough gay, bi, trans, non-binary, non-standard characters they could use. To retro-fit one of the existing characters is just pandering (as the article states).

        1. Count Potato

          Who was trans or non-binary? Also “non-binary” is a very new thing.

          1. Nephilium

            Mystique would win for both, as would any shapeshifter. But if you really want, here is a list of trans characters.

          2. Count Potato

            I don’t think shapeshifters count, and especially not Mystique who made a point of keeping her original form.

          3. Nephilium

            I’d say if you want non-binary you can’t get more true to form then a shapeshifter.

          4. Rhywun

            Only if they shift into something they claim is neither male nor female.

          5. CPRM

            Odo was a shapeshifter, he could only turn into a puddle. POWNED!11

    4. J. Frank Parnell

      If they don’t have JK Rowling announce which Marvel superhero is gay I will be disappoint.

  15. Timeloose

    Evening y’all. Tall cans and tinkly glasses of viscous liquors for all.

    1. MikeS

      Prost!

      1. Timeloose

        I’ll be hoisting some German brews in Munich nest week. Lager and wit beer heaven.

        1. DEG

          PROST!

          Pie recommended this place. I stopped in when I was last in Munich for Oktoberfest. It’s not bad.

          Another good place is Augustiner am Dom.

          1. Timeloose

            I’m going to be there for a short time, but I’ll try to hit it up. I usually go to the local hole in the wall joints in the countryside with angry locals watching soccer. They usually have tractors and weird shit in front of the “beer garden”. Good food and great staff usually.

          2. Rhywun

            That sounds delightful. G’suffa!

          3. DEG

            Seconded.

          4. Timeloose

            Thanks y’all. I’ll try to check in white details where possible.

          5. DEG

            On one of my trips to Munich, I stopped in at an Irish pub not far from the Ostbahnhof.

            The staff was Irish and spoke better German than me. Great food from the British Isles (yes, there is good food from the British Isles) and German beer. A great combination.

        2. MikeS

          Dang. I’m jealous. Have fun and have a wit for me!

          1. Timeloose

            Will do. I’ll take photos.

          2. MikeS

            I mean, have a hefe for me.

            😉

        3. straffinrun

          Timeloose is on the Axis tour.

          1. Timeloose

            I’m meeting with three Germans and two Italians while I’m there.

          2. Timeloose

            I also spent a day with three Japanese this Thursday. So as usual you are correct.

          3. slumbrew

            Up until this February, my overseas travel consisted of:

            – Japan
            – Germany
            – Italy

            Purest coincidence.

          4. Chafed

            You need a better cover story.

        4. DEG

          Oh… and it’s Hefeweizen in Germany. Wit is Belgian and a very different style of beer.

          1. Timeloose

            I got it. I like the German wheat based beers quite a lot. Also the dark styles are my personal favorites, but it’s spring so lighter styles are probably the freshest.

            I’m also going to bring true schnapps back. The BS called schnapps here is terrible.

          2. DEG

            I brought back some real Kirschwasser on my last trip to Germany. The closest I can find in New England is not right.

          3. BakedPenguin

            Have a great trip, TL

          4. Chafed

            I’m jealous. You are going to beer heaven. You have the right idea drinking the local stuff. Enjoy.

    2. Timeloose

      Tall can of Pilsner Urquell. So much better in a can than the skunky bottle.

      1. Nephilium

        I cracked my last can of Prague Rock. Needed a change from Saison.

        1. Timeloose

          Great name. Sounds good. I’m getting lean in the old beer fridge. I’m going to have to hit the bottle shop this weekend.

      2. Chipping Pioneer

        Yeah! “For guys who have been brewing beer for so long, you would think they’d have figured out that the green bottles don’t work so good.

        1. Timeloose

          Cans are king. Brown works pretty good, but clear and green are always a crapshoot with UV.

          1. Nephilium

            I love the fact that more breweries are moving over to cans. The problem is that a canning line has a higher up front cost then a bottling line (but a lower cost to keep it going).

          2. Timeloose

            Don’t they have canning trucks. They come to your place and hook up to your clover lines and can your batches for you.

          3. Nephilium

            They do. However, there’s a significant cost and loss when working with the mobile canning lines.

          4. Chipping Pioneer

            I switched to getting my usual beer in cans over brown bottles in the past few months. I have to agree that they are superior. I used to think the cans added a tinny flavour, but cans keep beer freshest, especially for those that use no preservatives.

          5. dbleagle

            There is a “nano-brewery” in the town that I get an AirBnB in while I elk hunt. They have amazing beer and will can a 32oz beer beer for you when you order it. It is fun to watch and then they slap a label on and you are good to go.

            I now bring beer back instead of wine.

      3. straffinrun

        The last few swigs on a tall can are kind of gross.

        1. Nephilium

          Then you’re not drinking quickly enough.

          1. straffinrun

            Guess I could just pour it on the ground for my homies.

          2. MikeS

            Neph, speaking truth to thirst.

          3. Chipping Pioneer

            ^THIS

            Pour it into a glass. Wider mouth = easier to get down your gullet.

          4. straffinrun

            Need that HM cup o semen gif ASAP.

  16. Chipping Pioneer

    SEA SMITH NOT STOP BY COATING?

    Orly? ‘Cause I was thinking of a coating of seasoned bread crumbs, followed by a bath in hot oil, with a side of clarified garlic butter.

  17. Count Potato

    “Tolkien came on some hot elf girl and wiped his dick on her embroidered towel, and that towel grew up to be george r r martin”

    https://twitter.com/rumeruwu/status/1125846363105837057

  18. BEAM’s not a team player

    Oh sure. We pass the 1,000,000th comment mark and all of a sudden it’s “oh I don’t have to say anything more on Glibs tonight, there’s no goalpost I have to chase.”

    Fine. Be that way.

  19. straffinrun

    Put this on my wife’s iPhone for her wallpaper. Yeah, she didn’t think it was funny.

    https://m.imgur.com/a/9FPvDmr

    1. BEAM’s not a team player

      Thanks. I think I know what to put on my wife’s cellphone now.  ;-)

    2. Timeloose

      Your a surly one.

    3. DEG

      I think there is an innuendo in there.

    4. The Bearded Hobbit

      I took a computer graphics class way back in the years of Windows NT. I noticed that I had permissions to change the screen saver so I set it to the message, “Drive C: formatted. Press any key to continue.”

      The instructor grabbed me later and said, “You got me. I thought that I’d seen every trick that the students could pull, but you got me.”

    5. Count Potato

      LOL

  20. dbleagle

    Having Makers Mark tonight in honor of the 150th Anniversary of the joining of the rails at Promontory Point.

    Americans crossed a continent with rails only 4 years and 1 month after the Civil War ended. Today in four years you might be able to repave a modestly sized parking lot.

    1. Timeloose

      +1 gold spike

    2. CPRM

      Much graft made it happen fast. Then they learned the graft is more when it takes more time.

    3. creech

      Most of the Chinese working the Central Pacific came from the 40,000 who were already in California. The Chinese were actually hated for being too industrious and soon the immigration laws were changed to keep them out.

    4. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      It would be 4 years for the environmental impact report.

    5. SP

      Why Maker’s Mark?

      1. dbleagle

        It is what I have on hand besides Glennmorengie. It seemed more appropriate than a rum drink or a G&T for the occasion.

  21. Knocked out a six pack of Alewerks Weekend Lager on Wed/Thurs night. Settled for a Long Board tonight.

    1. Nephilium

      I approve. The Rev is always appropriate.

  22. Rhywun

    Carlton v Collingwood live now for any footy fans out there.

    1. BakedPenguin

      Any free sites out there with that?

      1. Rhywun

        I dunno. I’m watching it on Fox Sports 2. I hate to admit it but when I need a stream the best place to find one is Twitter.

        1. BakedPenguin

          Blues really need to work on their kicking accuracy.

          1. Rhywun

            Collingwood seem a little rusty. Wakey wakey!

          2. Rhywun

            This is not going according to plan, at all.

          3. BakedPenguin

            Looks like they got back on plan. The Blues gave them a game, at least.

          4. Rhywun

            That was nucking futs.

          5. BakedPenguin

            Carlton really seemed like they’d pull it off there for a while.

          6. Rhywun

            Yeah, what a battle. Props to them – even though my team won 🙂

    2. SP

      What?

      1. Rhywun

        Aussie sportsball.

        1. SP

          Oh, that would definitely make me pour another drink. Or two.

  23. CPRM

    Yall suck, we are on the eve of celebrating the birth of Louis Farrakan, show some respect.

  24. blackjack

    My kid’s like some kind of gymnastics prodigy. The instructors all take turns gushing about how good he is and then ruminate about how his career might go. It’s weird. I was just watching a hippy cover band and drinking beer and now I’m getting regaled by tales of gymnastics accomplishment. I feel a sense of responsibility to manage his career but he’s only 6 and a half. I just wanna drink beer and watch bands while he jumps and runs , dammit.

    1. Rhywun

      Does he enjoy it?

      1. Tundra

        The most important question of all.

        Fuck career management. Let the kid do his thing. If he’s still a prodigy in 5 years you can start the gold medal preparation.

      2. blackjack

        Yeah, he loves it. I bought him a trampoline and he taught himself front flips and various versions of them. It’s pretty cool, actually.
        Instructor said that when he was a kid it was 1 in 10 kids who could be good at it and now it’s 1 in a 1000 and my kid is the one. I feel like I need to do what I can to facilitate it, just not sure what. I already have him in private lessons.

        1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          It’s expensive, but if he sticks with it he’ll be surrounded by cute girls

          1. Rhywun

            Yeah, no kidding.

    2. CPRM

      They are salesmen. They just want you to keep paying them. If you aren’t amazed, no one else is./seeing a nieces take dance lessons for 15 years and she just looks like a spaz, but the dance teacher is always up-selling.

    3. one true athena

      Just a word of second-hand experience, we have friends whose daughter and son are both competitors. The daughter’s now, 17, been competing for years, seems to like it. She tells a story of going to a very hardcore camp, and she didn’t do something correctly and the older female coach comes up to her and demands, “ARE YOU LAZY OR STUPID?” (and this, as you can imagine, has become a joke among us all). this was when she was 14 or 15. It’s a very serious sport, and as the Nasser horror demonstrates, the people involved are not always there for your kid’s best interests.

      The boy, who was a good friend of my son before we moved away, was training several hours every day during middle school, so age 12. ALL APPARATUS. Which tbh, having watched one of the competitions, I don’t think still rings are appropriate for 12 year old boys who haven’t developed their muscle mass that much. These weedy little boys straining to do even simple things on apparatus that six foot well-muscled college young men find difficult. I fear for the future health of some of those boys.

      Anyway, while it’s fun for your boy, it’s fine, but be aware that it gets very serious, very quickly.

    4. straffinrun

      Something to think about. How tall do you think he’ll be by age 16, 18, 20? I was great at springboard diving until I grew a half a foot in one year. Still won a few meets in high school, but it was obvious the kids that had the build for it were going to be the stars. The body control I learned helped in other sports, so all in all it was a worthwhile experience. Walter Peyton took ballet. Lomachenko took Ukrainian dance. At age 6, you never know what he’ll look like in 10 years and so just keep other paths open.

  25. westernsloper

    “I don’t think it’s particularly a PNG thing, in every society, adolescents and young men have a thing about their penis,” he said.

    True that, but for the non-insane it never includes a syringe of silicone. One should inject their penis into something, not the other way around. Be it a pumpkin, sufficiently sized fruit, or even another person as the occasion arises.

    1. CPRM

      You sound like a neo-con for expressing values you believe!Everyone should fuck everything at all times, or libertopia can’t happen!

    2. Chafed

      Next you’ll tell me not to shoot cocaine into my dick. That’s just crazy.

    3. SP

      It’s been my experience that this doesn’t end when men become not young. All y’all have a thing about your, er, personal appendages your entire lives.

  26. slumbrew

    This is pretty sweet; good to see Steve O sticking with his sobriety & that’s a sweet pup.

    1. straffinrun

      I want Steve O to adopt me.

      1. Chafed

        I’ll pass. My dad has his flaws but he isn’t insane and was never a drug addict.

  27. SP

    Well, darnit. I took the site down for a moment to do an upgrade, and nobody noticed nor emailed me in panic. Shoot.

    I guess I need to do it in the middle of a weekday next time.

    1. Chafed

      It was only a moment so that makes it a little hard to notice.

    2. Chafed

      Also, haven’t seen Sir Digby, HS, or CPRM this evening so it looks like the late night crew is occupied elsewhere. Rhywun was here but may be watching soccer.

      You’ve been quite for quite awhile. What have you been up to?

      1. SP

        Also, who is HS? H’Splosives?

        1. Chafed

          Yes.

  28. Chafed

    Yeah, I saw CPRM’s comments but had a brain fade.

    It sounds like you are busy for good reasons. You have been such a ghost I thought maybe something bad had happened. I’m glad that isn’t the case.

    What’s with pursuing some sort of medical degree? I thought you enjoyed SEOville and wanted to stay there.

    1. Chafed

      And Brooksed it. Maybe it’s time for bed.

      1. SP

        See your email. Goodnight!