Thursday Cold Front Links

The mercury is at 65 and falling. No telling how many iguanas, alligators, pythons, and manatees will be killed by this unseasonable cold front, but my best guess is zero. I’m sure the local news will breathlessly cover the over on that one. Overnight temperatures could dip below 40 degrees. I’m stocking up on meth and hot chocolate. To make matters worse, I have a dental appointment today where they hygienist will mercilessly berate me for being an occasional flosser. I’ll pretend contrition and go home with a sore mouth.

PETA holds “dog barbecue” with fake dog. I’m the sort of heartless monster who would ask for a slice of the flank and the feign anger that this wasn’t a better way for them to dispose of all the dogs they euthanize than just tossing them in the landfill.

Amanda Knox is back in the news and $20K richer after an Italian court found that Italian police had violated her civil rights. Taking a page from their American brethren, they found “no evidence that she had been physically assaulted”.

The new, sassy Lindsay Graham is just fabulous.

If Beto was a Republican, this would sink his candidacy. Instead, this non-story will be spun into a MASH-note of how edgy, sexy, and creative he is. OMG, he was in a punk cover band! Sploosh!

 

Let’s see some real punks do their own work. Take it Dee-dee!

Comments

467 responses to “Thursday Cold Front Links”

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    Beto is, a punk rocker nooooow

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      One of his bands was called the “Fragile Gang”. He was SJW before there were SJWs

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Sounds Italian.

        1. R C Dean

          “Fra-JEE-lay”

          1. Brett L

            I have two little kids who have watched the hell out of Cars 2, so that’s pretty much how I pronounce it in my head every time I see it.

          2. The Last American Hero

            Wait until they see A Christmas Story.

    2. My brain is hanging upside down!

    3. SugarFree

      The KKK Took My Beto Away

      1. Count Potato

        Unfortunately — in this case — they only take away real minorities.

        1. SugarFree

          He’s one of those Irish Hispanics I keep hearing so much about.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            His ancestors washed on Irish shore after the Armada was wrecked, you bigot!

    4. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      Blitzkrieg Beto.

      1. I’m Here To Help

        Beto the brat, Beto the brat…

  2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    “The new, sassy Lindsay Graham is just fabulous.”

    Still hate the guy, but I also hate socialists. Man this is a tough call on who I hate more

    1. Sean

      Socialists are always wrong. Graham is occasionally right.

      Just hate everybody. It’s liberating.

      1. Chafed

        So much this.

    2. You get a hate!

      YOU get a hate!

      YOU GET A HATE!

      EVERYONE GETS A HATE!

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Beto’s band sucked.

    1. The Other Kevin

      It’s like Here Come the Mummies but stupid.

      1. C. Anacreon

        Are they like the Groovy Ghoulies?

    2. Raston Bot

      he plays just like he skates: boring and unmotivated

    3. Chipwooder

      And not in a good way like Flipper.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Or that THOT from SNL who offered her services to anyone who would punch those Catholic boys

    4. The Last American Hero

      They sound just like the Ramones, so yeah they suck.

      1. Tundra

        Lol. Good trolling gyro!

  4. Amanda Knox is back in the news

    It never ceases to amaze me how the American media treated her as being as pure as the driven snow, while the UK media treated the Brits in the case as being the perfect people instead.

    1. Brett L

      Who amongst us didn’t engage in drug-fueled rough-sex orgies that could have ended just like hers during our study abroads?

      1. [raises hand disappointedly]

        1. I’m Here To Help

          [raises hand as well]

          And I even had a direct offering of at least 2/3 of that (don’t know about the drugs, but the other two parts were offered).

          And yes, I was an idiot…

      2. Bobarian LMD

        I never got to study abroad.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Never married I guess…..

          1. Tres Cool

            What you just did there….it was noted.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Sup trees!

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            Why trees? Tres

          4. Tres Cool

            Honeywell gas valve update, since its been 6 weeks.
            Its still working fine, and I have no idea why. But that procedure must work.

          5. Bobarian LMD

            Just the one broad.

        2. Mad Scientist

          Why study one when you can study several?

      3. Fourscore

        Wait, we were supposed to be studing broads? Why am I always the last one to know about these things?

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          McGinty likes to study boards, do what you like man.

      4. Hey, I’ve been abroad!

        But no orgies.

        .. or drugs.

        … or study.

        Nuts.

        1. Tundra

          Nuts.

          Hey man, we don’t judge around here. You be you.

        2. Brett L

          Try not going with the Army or your wife next time. 😉

        3. Dr. Fronkensteen

          Not even with the camel?

        4. Spudalicious

          “Hey, I’ve been abroad!”

          When did you transition?

        5. I’m Here To Help

          I think one of the funniest things I heard about deployments was when I was sitting in the MWR in Iraq trying to download updates for my tablet, and I overheard a conversation with an Army helicopter pilot talking with a buddy back home. Apparently he was asked what it was like, and his response was along the lines of:

          “Do you remember those summer camp movies from the ’80s? It’s like that, except instead of a ‘Nam vet cook we have a jihadi who probably spit in your food. And instead of having a hijinks-filled softball game against the next camp over, that camp just wants to kill you. And worst of all, all of the gratuitous nudity is of the hairy ass kind, not perky tit kind.”

    2. Rasilio

      That is not my memory of the case. I remember the US media being pretty skeptical of her claims of innocence at the time. It wasn’t until years after her initial conviction that perceptions of her changed

      1. tarran

        The prosecutor who accused her is fucking insane. I mean seriously unhinged. At one point he posited that that much of the city government, especially the officials who were trying to get rid of him, and a number of journalists were part of a satanic cult that were ritually killing people with one shared hand-gun.

        A retired FBI agent looked over the evidence. In the end he concluded that
        1) There was evidence that neither Amanda nor her boyfriend were present at the apartment that night.
        2) The evidence that they were there consisted of DNA evidence that was clearly the product of cross contamination at the DNA lab the italians were using
        3) All the evidence was consistent with the homeless guy that was initially convicted being the sole perpetrator (he left not only his blood, but his poop in the toilet he aslo was arrested the next morning with her phone on his person).
        4) The evidence that Amanda and her boyfriend were trying to cover up the murder is based on the fact that they called the national police to report the murder and were waiting for them when the local police showed up to speak to the murder victim about her cell phone after they recovered it from a homeless man whom had been burglarizing apartments and stealing cell phones for the past few weeks.

        Much of the bizarre behavior – so called – was based on outright lies. She had no clothes because she was locked out of her apartment, so she bought underwear and toiletries, and that was publicized as her buying lingerie in a depraved lack of concern about what happened to her roommate. Teh cartwheels weren’t cartwheels, but her stretching her legs after sitting in a police station for hours waiting to be interviewed.

        1. cyto

          Yeah, the Italian authorities were full-on insane as a group, but the prosecutor was in a special category all his own. Many of the things he introduced at trial would easily cost him a libel case in any other context. Things he had absolutely no basis for whatsoever.

          $20k for her trouble is a joke, particularly from an EU court where failing to delete accurate search results for news stories about a child abuser is worth millions.

    3. R C Dean

      $20K for violating her due process rights, in a case where she was jailed for years before being freed?

      Chump. Change.

      1. tarran

        Not to mention having a confession beaten out of her.

        Italian law enforcement are a bunch of savages.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    OMG, he was in a punk cover band! Sploosh!

    Can’t we tie an anvil around his neck and throw him in a large body of water? “Sploosh” indeed.

  6. Juvenile Bluster

    The cold front! Bring in your animals, people, because it’s freezing out there!

    Friday
    A 20 percent chance of showers before 10am. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 69. North wind 7 to 9 mph.
    Friday Night
    A 20 percent chance of showers after 10pm. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 54. North wind around 7 mph.
    Saturday
    A 30 percent chance of showers. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 71. North wind around 7 mph.
    Saturday Night
    Showers likely. Cloudy, with a low around 59. North wind around 6 mph. Chance of precipitation is 70%.
    Sunday
    Showers likely. Cloudy, with a high near 67. North wind 6 to 9 mph. Chance of precipitation is 70%.
    Sunday Night
    Showers likely. Cloudy, with a low around 54. North wind around 8 mph. Chance of precipitation is 60%.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Oh, fuck you guys who live in mild climates. I fucking sunbathe in 40 degree weather.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        When I lived in Syracuse I’d be in shorts and a t-shirt if it was 35 degrees so long as it wasn’t windy.

        But now I’ve lived here for more than a decade so I’ve become a cold weather wuss.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          The plus side of living in a place with a short summer? No need to develop a “beach body”. Clothing allows fat people to lie

          1. Gadfly

            Clothing allows fat people to lie

            The Apologist is wise.

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            I’ve lived in the Midwest for too long

        2. Chipwooder

          I never adapted. Absolutely hated the heat even after living in Florida for years. Don’t miss it at all.

          1. Brett L

            Tell any of your near-retirement friends that story, please.

          2. Florida Man

            +1

          3. I’m Here To Help

            Amen brother!

            It’s like Florida just loves @#$%ing with you – ahh, the snowbirds are leaving, but here’s 7 months of living in a fat guy’s crotch. When it finally lets you out of the fat guy’s crotch, the snowbirds show back up. I’m telling you, Florida Man isn’t born that way, he’s tempered in sweaty crotch and traffic held up by Pennsylvanians who can’t drive worth…

          4. Brett L

            Whenever I see a fuckstick driver, its Ontario plates. Michiganders are okay, but slow.

          5. Juvenile Bluster

            I still hate the heat after 14 years.

            But I can’t stand cold now either.

      2. Nephilium

        Current predictions have us with a high of 1 for next week. Looks like the end of Lake Effect snow for Cleveland soon once Lake Erie freezes. Of course that also means the temperatures will be even colder.

        1. kinnath

          Forecast is for a high of -12 next Wednesday with overnight temps in the low -20s.

          1. dbleagle

            Home is 82 high and 72 low anticipated. Tomatoes are fruiting and broccoli is getting close. I however am in the DC area and missing it.

  7. Rasilio

    Foxy Knoxie? Yeah still would

    1. Chafed

      Just make sure someone you trust knows where you will be and who you are with.

      1. Rasilio

        Meh at this point I’m pushing 50 with no savings and a wife suffering from degenerative progressivitis. As long as she waited till after the drug fueled orgy was over and made it quick she’d probably be doing me a favor

        1. cyto

          I resemble those remarks…

      2. tarran

        I wouldn’t worry about that. Unless she invented that magic cloth that removed her and her boyfriend’s DNA but left that homeless vagrant’s DNA all over the place, she had nothing to do with the murder (other than escaping being a second victim because she decided to sleep with her boyfriend that night)

        1. Fatty Bolger

          It’s always boggled my mind that people would still think they were guilty, considering the huge amount of evidence pointing only at the actual killer.

          1. Rasilio

            First impressions. Everyone remembers the sensationalized initial story and her conviction. Few remember all the details that came out after the fact indicating that she was almost certainly innocent

  8. The Late P Brooks

    A faint glimmer of rationality

    In rich countries, meanwhile, wealth depends mostly on asset prices, especially the prices of stocks and real estate. As anyone who lived through the 2008 financial crisis keenly remembers, these prices can be affected by investor sentiment that has little to do with the real underlying value of physical assets — and thus little to do with how much of the world’s actual resources people get to consume. If investors decide to pay higher prices for shares of Amazon.com Inc., Jeff Bezos’ wealth goes way up, but the real value of Amazon’s business might be the same as the previous day. For closely held companies, where many rich people derive their wealth, it’s even harder — if one investor overpays for a small piece of Uber Technologies Inc., the whole company’s valuation can go up by billions of dollars, but that really just reflects the excessive optimism of that one investor.

    This means that big swings in the wealth of the world’s top billionaires don’t usually represent changes in the amount of real, physical resources they command — it doesn’t show that they are “monopolizing progress,” as Giridharas puts it, to any greater degree than before.

    Oxfam are a bunch of hyperventilating idjits? Who would have guessed?

    1. Rasilio

      Now if only they could take the next step and ask if there might be some mechanism by which asset prices continue to climb in value while wages, productivity, and consumer prices have all stagnated. I don’t know maybe new money flowing into financial markets while the combination of globalization and productivity gains keep wages and prices low.

    2. whiz

      Don’t applaud. The next step will be to declare that since stock prices don’t represent real value, then the government (Top Men?) will need to set stock prices.

    3. R C Dean

      the real underlying value of physical assets

      There is no such thing as an asset that has inherent “value” that is somehow independent of the market.

      1. Gadfly

        But the market absolutely values the physical assets held by a company differently than the company itself. The whole is more (or sometimes less) than the sum of its parts.

        1. R C Dean

          Sure. Still the market doing the valuing of the assets, and still no “real underlying value”.

          1. tarran

            still no “real underlying value”.

            I disagree. Otherwise applied value investors would go broke pretty quickly.

            Yes, value is subjective. Yes, the value of a jeep factory isn’t the same as the price you could get for selling all the components. Or the present value of future sales.

            But(!)… Let’s say there’s some bad news…. for example, Hillary Clinton is cured of senility and is back! And a million different decision makers decide to sell shares in the same set of companies and buy gold. Obviously, they have to find counterparties willing to pay/accept payments they offer, and to do that the prices they pay will significantly alter the stock price of the companies/assets they are selling and buying.

            But, the factories or offices in the underlying companies are unaffected. You could argue that as a result, the economy lost value, because the aggregate value of all these securities had more losses than gains, yet the production capacity of the economy will be completely unaffected.

        2. Dr. Fronkensteen

          OK Can someone explain the idea of “Goodwill” on a balance sheet? I can’t help but think its a BS number.

          1. Gadfly

            OK Can someone explain the idea of “Goodwill” on a balance sheet?

            It’s the line item where you hide the cocaine money.

          2. Rasilio

            Marketing. Both by making the company more sympathetic to consumers increasing the likelyhood that they will buy your product and to investors making them more likely to want to own your stock and therefore propping up it’s price.

          3. Tundra

            I always understood it to be the portion of a purchase above and beyond the market value of the underlying asset(s).

            Balance sheet stuff, dude. Booooooring.

          4. creech

            As I remember it. And, these days, it can only be written down if the asset is sold or becomes worthless? You used to be able to amortize it, at least for tax purposes.

          5. The Last American Hero

            You are correct. But the write downs or the money to be made in calculating goodwill is anything but boring.

          6. wdalasio

            Tundra is the closet here. I’ll give an example to explain:

            Say you have a company. We’ll call it the Fronkensteen Company. On it’s books, it’s assets exceed it’s liabilities (your net equity) by $10MM. Now, that may have nothing to do with the value of your company. It’s just a historical accounting convention. It may pull in $2MM a year in profits. Let’s say it does.

            Now, let’s say I come in with my company, wdalasioCorp, and decide to buy the Fronkensteen Company for a conservative 7X earnings. That means I paid you $14MM. Congrats! But, now we have a problem. Or, I have a problem, since you’re comfortably partying in your retirement compound. On the books of wdalasioCorp, the equity position in the Fronkensteen Company is worth $14MM, what I paid for it. But, there’s nothing on the Fronkensteen Company’s books to explain that. It’s equity is still $10MM. So, I have to create an imaginary asset (goodwill) on the Fronkensteen Company’s books of $4MM that will increase the value of total assets such that the net equity at the Fronkensteen Company is equal to the equity position wdalasioCorpholds in the company.

            I hope that helps.

          7. The Last American Hero

            The fun part comes 18 months later, when the merger didn’t produce the planned synergies, and the goodwill is written down to near zero, even though 3 Big 4 firms signed off on the deal (your auditor, acquiree’s auditor, and the firm doing the M&A due diligence).

          8. wdalasio

            The fun part comes 18 months later, when the merger didn’t produce the planned synergies

            What are you talking about? Those synergies were money good and well on their way to successful execution all the way up until I sold wdalasioCorp for 7.5X earnings!

    4. prolefeed

      It’s like they don’t understand the basic economic premise that value is subjective, and so “real value” is a meaningless term.

      1. C. Anacreon

        But what about this free DVD we’ll send to the first 100 people who call in?
        It’s a $19.99 value!

        1. Akira

          Haha, that conception of “value” is rampant in affiliate marketing.

          “You’ll get my Self-Made Billionaire System plus the free home business e-book for only $199.99 – a $4,000 value!!!

  9. Bobarian LMD

    The new, sassy Lindsay Graham is just fabulous.

    I clicked that link thinking Lindsey Lohan and said “well, she’s looked worse”.

    1. Tonio

      Harsh. But still funny.

      1. Yeah, I’d second that, Tonio.

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      2019 Lindsey Graham > 2019 Lindsey Lohan

      BUT

      2006 Lindsey Lohan > 2006 Lindsey Graham

      Think about that

      1. Bobarian LMD

        A lot of miles put on that chassis in that time frame.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          She was so hot in 2006. Meth is a hell of a drug

    3. Count Potato

      “Lindsay Lohan displays her painful-looking sunburn in a plunging dress as she continues Maldives getaway”

      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6628623/Lindsay-Logan-displays-painful-sunburn-plunging-dress-continues-Maldives-getaway.html

      1. The Last American Hero

        Fake news. Maldives is underwater due to global warming.

  10. Chipwooder

    Only a man with no heart could refrain from laughing at this

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      I don’t think there is any decent person in America who gives two shits about reporters getting laid off after the nonsense that they pushed out of the past week.

      1. Chipwooder

        Nope. Look up the guy’s Twitter – he’s a real peach.

    2. SugarFree

      Scott Pilgrim aged horribly (and Ramona never did have sex with him.)

      1. Chipwooder

        Never saw that movie

        1. C. Anacreon

          I think he’s talking about the Beverly Cleary books — this guy looks just like Henry Huggins, best known as neighbor of Beezus and Ramona, and owner of spunky dog Ribsy.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Ramona Flowers is a character in Scott Pilgrim vs the World.

            The vegan scene is pretty good. Other than that the movie isn’t that memorable and Michael Cera is his usual meh.

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        “The children are right to laugh at you”

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          I’m looking forward to reading his Medium article about raman noodle recipes.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That made me smile.

    4. Aus

      Warms the heart

  11. Gadfly

    The new, sassy Lindsay Graham is just fabulous.

    His Twitter profile pic is of him with Judge Kavanaugh. Sassy indeed.

  12. wdalasio

    The new, sassy Lindsay Graham is just fabulous.

    So, what you’re saying is that, lately, he’s been on fire. Flaming, even.

  13. Who was looking at getting the hat?

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      That is awesome and the hat we all need.

      1. whiz

        I want a red hat that says “Don’t jump to conclusions”.

    2. Tundra

      Oh, that’s good.

      1. Chafed

        Indeed

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      My son would love that.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ordered

    4. Fatty Bolger

      That is brilliant.

  14. Juvenile Bluster

    Updated “who supports who” in Venezuela.

    Supports Maduro: Venezuelan military (at least officially), Venezuelan Supreme Court of Justice, National Constituent Assembly (the one packed by Maduro), China, Nicaragua, Russia, North Korea, Iran, Turkey, Cuba, Bolivia, Uruguay, El Salvador and Mexico.

    Supports opposition President Guaido: Venezuelan Parliament,Venezuelan Justice Department (in exile), USA, European Union, Argentina, Bahamas, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Honduras, Guatemala, Haiti, Panama, Paraguay, Peru and the Dominican Republic

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m sort of surprised Uruguay came in on Maduro’s side.

      The new Mexican president is a socialist fuckstick, so that’s no surprise.

      1. Rhywun

        I wonder if they’re currently in some sort of proxy tiff with Brazil.

      2. C. Anacreon

        Uruguay just had to be the opposite of Paraguay. They can’t be on the same side, because then people just assume they’re the same country.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Mexico…

      Look at the list of countries you’re lined up with there. Do you want to be on that side of the fence?

      They’re just getting dumber by the day aren’t they?

      1. Look who they elected.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        “Mexico does not form part (of) this attempt to take sides and promote a type of internal intervention,” presidential spokesman Jesus Ramirez said in a broadcast interview.”

        Under Lopez Obrador, Mexico has returned to its traditional foreign policy of non-intervention.

        I don’t know, that doesn’t sound like open support. Perhaps not the best reference, but here is a Link that quotes Mexico’s response.

    3. creech

      Never would have known other countries were involved by listening to the local NBC news reader. She smirked her way through a segment that led listeners to believe that Trump’s precipitous lone cowboy stand was getting our diplomats kicked out of Venezuela.

  15. Florida Man

    I went hunting in the green swamp two weekends ago and my cousin spotted a Burmese python. I didn’t think they would make it this far north. Unfortunately he didn’t shoot it because he didn’t want to spook the game, but since we got skunked in hindsight he should have.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      If you shoot it, you’ll ruin the skin, and then what will you wear to church on Sunday?

      1. Florida Man

        I go to a clothing optional church

  16. Tundra

    Goddammit. Blitzkrieg Bop is my favorite Ramones tune. Beto has no fucking business soiling it that way.

    *spits in disgust*

    1. Chipwooder

      Close call, but I’m going with Glad To See You Go, mainly because most people don’t actually pay attention to the lyrics.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        I used to sing this to my infant grand-daughter when she’d start crying.

        Worked good. Probably had more to do with the pogo-ing.

        1. Tundra

          Hah! That there is excellent (grand) parenting.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Politicians using punk songs is putrid in its puerility.

      1. Brett L

        Punk died for me the day I heard London Calling in a Jaguar ad

    3. The Last American Hero

      Isn’t that like saying herpes is your favorite STD?

  17. grrizzly

    Wearing a MAGA Hat in Harvard Square. Day 1.

    Finally Amazon delivered the hat to my office. I guess today was an easy day to adjust to wearing a MAGA hat. The school is still in recess and it’s extremely rainy and windy. I had to carry an umbrella on my way to a Middle Eastern place to grab a shawarma. Most people on the street could not even see the hat. The shawarma place guy could obviously see it but had no reaction. Other than the wind blowing the hat off my head once (fortunately not far), the whole affair was completely uneventful.

    1. Chipwooder

      We need a live cam.

    2. SugarFree

      See! I told you the wind was progressive!

      1. C. Anacreon

        Probably the same wind that cries “Mary”.

        1. While it comes sweepin’ down the plain?

        2. Spudalicious

          Mariah is a lesbian?

    3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      You got big balls. Respect

      1. Tundra

        You know who else had big balls?

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          AC/DC?

        2. Stinky Wizzleteats

          He only had one ball or so they say.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            The rest of the song:

            Goering had two, but very small.

            Himmler, had something similar

            And Goerbels,
            had no balls,
            at all

        3. Male pigs who have 10 minute orgasms and ejaculate 8 oz of semen?

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Wh…wh…why do you know that?

          2. I ask the important questions so you don’t have to.

          3. Tundra

            Wow. You win.

          4. Gadfly

            You must’ve been a joy on field trips.

          5. Rasilio

            No wonder chicks dig cops

          6. C. Anacreon

            Male pigs who have 10 minute orgasms and ejaculate 8 oz of semen?

            Our college biology professor got a campus-wide reputation for sharing that same bit of information, then adding “it’s no wonder some people call me a pig.”

          7. Yeah, but they still have to have sex with other pigs.

          8. Mad Scientist

            Sounds like it’s worth it.

        4. Tres Cool

          Amnesty International ?

        5. Yusef drives a Kia

          Bon Scott?
          Hitler had One,

        6. Scruffy Nerfherder
        7. grrizzly

          Kangaroos.

      2. Tonio

        ^This.

    4. Tonio

      “Most people on the street could not even see the hat.”

      I bet most of them couldn’t hear it, either.

    5. Solid brass ones, son.

      Was the shwarma guy an immigrant? In my experience most immigrants couldn’t give two shits about politics. They’re here to make a living and establish themselves. They don’t have time to argue about shit that doesn’t really matter.

      1. C. Anacreon

        I do hope you ordered the Khlav Kalash.

      2. grrizzly

        Either him or his parents must have immigrated from the Middle East.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Unfortunately he didn’t shoot it because he didn’t want to spook the game, but since we got skunked in hindsight he should have.

    Next time, bring a crossbow.

    1. R C Dean

      Shoot it? What, you didn’t have a knife or machete or anything?

      1. Florida Man

        I did, but I wasn’t there. I think he was a little intimidated by it.

  19. Tres Cool

    Since this flopped in the AM lynx, Ill try again:

    She was tough to find, but finally fingered .

    1. Rasilio

      So the Va Dept of Corrections finally located the Cletorious?

      1. Tres Cool

        If she was informed on, it was likely the asshole around the corner.

        1. Rasilio

          One way or another they have her licked now

          1. Bobarian LMD

            They found her sitting in a canoe?

          2. Rasilio

            I’m not sure but I don’t think she was in the Canoe, more sitting on top if the upper end of it

        2. Spudalicious

          It will taint him forever.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      oh god no…..

    3. Tonio

      We are truly the worst chatroom ever.

      1. Gadfly

        4chan would like a word with you…

    4. Shpip

      Yeah, they found what they were searching for, but they have no idea what to do with it. That requires thinking outside the box.

  20. commodious spittoon
    1. Chipwooder, 4:15.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Let’s bury the hatchet and enjoy the next 12 years because they are going to be our last, right?

    Graham can be fun when he is not war-mongering.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      I bet Graham got a stiffy when Occasional Cortex talked about “war”, until he realized that she wanted to declare war against the weather. You can’t regime change the fucking weather, amateur.

      1. “You can’t regime change the fucking weather”

        Don’t tell the warmista cultists.

      2. The Last American Hero

        No, but the fighting never stops, so that’s a plus.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I wonder if AOC will regret those words when she becomes president.

      1. R C Dean

        Nah. She’ll just take credit for saving the world, instead.

      2. Rebel Scum

        Way to ruin a perfectly good Thursday afternoon, which, incidentally is exactly what CNN’s human cue-ball and perennial concern-troll Brian Stelter would do.

  22. Count Potato

    This has been a fun week so far. I was sick on Tuesday. Then both my phone and my heat stopped working. It took two days to fix the heat. The phone is still broken.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      It needs to be said.

      Did you check the thermostat?

      1. Count Potato

        Yes, I did.

    2. I had two flat tires last week, and my dad got one this week.

      1. Fourscore

        Bad news/events come in threes. You’re good for awhile now.

  23. Thot Thursday continues with MUH TITTAYS

    http://archive.is/FeO5J

    1. Spudalicious

      I stopped at 1 and went to my bunk.

      1. prolefeed

        2 and 25 were worth continuing on …

    1. Chipwooder

      It’s a good column…..but a bunch of NR writers jumped in with the mob when this clusterfuck all began, and none of these pieces they’ve been publishing in the last couple of days addresses that at all. Lowry issued a very brief, weak apology, the editor who wrote the most hysterical one (don’t know his name because I’d never heard of him before, Nicholas something) wrote a weak non-apology where the only thing he said he was sorry for was his intemperate tone.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Disappointing, sure, but I’ll leave the hive mind editorial standard to outfits like The Atlantic.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I wonder how much eyerolling and tut-tutting goes on when VDH hands in his weekly Mueller investigation wrap-up.

        2. Certified Public Asshat

          The Atlantic was pretty quick to walk back their initial outrage.

          1. commodious spittoon

            I meant Williamson’s thirty seconds of employment there.

          2. Certified Public Asshat

            Whoops, sorry.

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        “Conservatism is progressivism driving the speed limit”

        – Michael Malice

        1. Chipwooder

          Oddly enough, that reminds me of something my dad told me after becoming utterly disillusioned with the GOP and the Tea Parties – “Democrats want to drive this country into bankruptcy at light speed, Republicans want to do it at a slower speed, but either way they’re both driving us off the cliff.”

      3. Yeah, it was a corner post – I don’t think I’d heard of that contributor before – definitely not a normal editor, but the “Corner” portion is open to a stack of writers as they feel like posting.

    2. Aus

      dat chickfila spicy deluxe sandwich tho

      1. Aus

        ooops… I missed

        *hangs head in shame*

    3. Count Potato

      “Of course Alyssa Milano is an idiot for insisting that those stupid red hats are “the new white hood.” You know who is even more idiotic than Alyssa Milano? Anybody who gives the furry crack of a rat’s patootie what Alyssa Milano thinks about anything. She’s a moron at 500 yards and a lunatic at a thousand. You know it. If she happens to be a moron and a lunatic who is on your side, that doesn’t make her any less of a moron and a lunatic. And making common cause with morons and lunatics can backfire: Ask a conservative about Ted Nugent.”

      Yet, I still think she’s hot, and Ted Nugent is awesome.

    4. That’s a good one, and true, too, but I’m not sure why he’s so confident that this is a recent development or that it will pass in time. Remember the Duke Lacrosse case?

    5. Tundra

      Excellent.

      Won’t make a goddamn bit of difference, but still…

  24. Brett L

    Apparently, one should not eat fried chicken every day. Especially if you are a postmenopausal woman.

    A regular serving of fried chicken or fish is associated with a higher risk of death from any cause except cancer, according to a new study done in postmenopausal women in the United States.

    Women who enjoyed fried chicken once or more per day had a 13% higher risk of death from any cause compared with women who did not eat any fried food, according to the study, published Wednesday in the medical journal BMJ.

    I can not imagine eating fried chicken once a day, every day for any length of time.

    1. Sean

      I can not imagine eating fried chicken once a day, every day for any length of time.

      Well, certainly not unless you also had hot sauce.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Hmmm, so 100% of women die, right?

      And you’re 13% more likely to die from something besides cancer if you eat chicken every day?

      Q.E.D. Chicken cures cancer.

      1. 100% of everyone dies.

        1. C. Anacreon

          See, also:

          Everybody Sleeps
          Everybody Poops

    3. I walk past a Royal Farms on my way to and from work. I choose not to eat fried chicken every day. But it’s a tough one, believe you me.

      1. Rasilio

        I don’t see how people eat that stuff. It is closer to eating chicken flavored salt than eating actual fried chicken

        1. It’s the crunchy, breaded skin. And if you’re lucky, the person who puts the chicken in the box made something with Old Bay right before and still has some on their gloves. Bliss.

  25. Rebel Scum

    The Peta protest – involving a prop dog – was designed to cause outrage and asked people: ‘If you wouldn’t eat a dog, why eat a lamb?’

    Lamb is tender and tasty and dog is man’s best friend. We utilize each animal in different ways in which they are most useful to us.

    1. It’s also false. I would happily eat a dog under the right circumstances.

      1. Rebel Scum

        ///Me too. And I’d definitely eat my cats before giving them the chance to eat me. Maybe not the younger of the two, shes pretty tiny so no meat. But the other one is big and he is kindof an ass, so…

    2. Rhywun

      People love being punk’d. I don’t understand why these tactics aren’t working!?

    3. PETA has some fuckin’ nerve eating pretend dogs and killing real ones.

      1. Chipwooder

        What Bill said. How these people are allowed to continue to masquerade as animal lovers when they keep themselves busy killing off stray dogs is beyond me.

        1. I hate–HATE–PETA. There’s a guy at work who I really like who has a PETA sticker on a water bottle he carries with him, and when he recently bought a dog for his farm it was all I could do to not say anything to him. I seriously think that while there are plenty of well-intentioned people involved with PETA, once you’ve gotten into the inner sanctum of the cult and know about how many pets they kill, the choice to stay is a moral failing that you can’t take back. Patchouli or Prius be damned, you’re now no better than the fuckheads who fight dogs. Maybe worse, because at least some of those dogs live.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      Any word on if Nathan Phillips showed up to the protest with a knife and fork? Two of his favorite things: protesting and dog.

      *I couldn’t tell if the Omaha ate dogs, but Wikipedia said they spoke a type of the Siouan-language and the Sioux love them some dogs.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Of course Phillips might get into a dustup with all the alt-right incels who are there to hit on the Korean gals who are sure to show up for a good plate of dog.

  26. Count Potato

    “Jessica Biel, 36, says she regrets always trying to look ‘so sexy’ and focusing on her ‘body’ when she was in her 20s”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6628901/Jessica-Biel-says-regrets-trying-look-sexy-younger.html

    Yeah, sure.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t regret it.

    2. Because she would have gotten just as famous if she had dressed like an Amish bag lady.

      1. Count Potato

        Is there such a thing?

      2. Rasilio

        Hey her talent as an actress would ha…bwhahahahaha

        Sorry I couldn’t even get through it with a straight face

    3. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

      She had to focus on her body because her face ain’t that great. Still would, again.

    4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Meh..the other broad from Seventh Heaven was hotter. Change my mind

      1. Agreed. Seventh Heaven was a guilty pleasure because of her.

    5. Headline you’ll never read because this Jessica Biel would be completely unknown: Jessica Biel, 36, says she’s happy she really never tried to look ‘so sexy’ and was never focused on her body in her 20s.

    6. Chafed

      Her husband will be delighted when she lets go and gains 50 pounds.

    1. The Other Kevin

      Headlines we will never read:

      “Demi Rose, 36, says she regrets always trying to look ‘so sexy’ and focusing on her ‘body’ when she was in her 20s”

      1. Jinx, buy me a Coke?

    2. Bobarian LMD

      NO!

      Again, bag of plastic.

      Claim to fame: Kylie Jenner lookalike Demi was first propelled into the spotlight when she was linked to the reality star’s ex, rapper Tyga, after they split.

      WTF.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        I don’t get this argument. I mean, you’d fuck a robot, wouldn’t you? Why not a cyborg?

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Say “NO” to robosexuality.

        2. Mad Scientist

          The cyborg still has to be attractive. Demi Rose does not meet the minimum qualifications.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Yes, yes. We know you’re more of a T-800 man.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            The original Terminator is the superior Terminator movie. You cannot prove me wrong.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Why would I argue with the truth?

        3. We can rebuild her. We have the technology. THICCer, sluttier, better…

        4. Bobarian LMD

          Uncanny valley, dude.

    1. Rasilio

      True but the article writes it all as if somehow tattoos are the cause of these things and not another symptom of people who are more sexually adventurous and more likely to have been in prison and mental health issues.

      In fact if you did a proper study I’ll bet that you would find that nearly everyone with a tattoo are people who are high in personality trait openness, low in conscientiousness, and high in neuroticism.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Or spent time in a concentration camp?

        1. Holocaust survivors are animals in the sack.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            I thought you liked em a little thiccer?

          2. Pope Jimbo

            Slutty jewish gals and trains have been a thing forever?

          3. Not Adahn

            Meh, most of them just lie there.

  27. Oh joy. A study designed to prove how opioids need to be restricted even more!

    https://freebeacon.com/issues/survey-70-of-doctors-think-theyve-given-opioids-to-addicted-people/

    It’s a complete non-sequitur. An individual in chronic, intractable pain (eg: cancer patient) could easily be addicted; that doesn’t mean the medication is ineffective or not necessary.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      You wouldn’t want them to die from an overdose while they’re dying from nerve-wracking pain. Jesus dude.

  28. Certified Public Asshat

    Elizabeth Warren to propose ‘wealth tax’ on Americans with more than $50 million in assets

    The Post reported that Warren has been advised by Saez and Gabriel Zucman, left-leaning economists affiliated with the University of California, Berkeley, on a deal that would levy a 2 percent wealth tax on Americans with $50 million-plus in assets. For Americans with assets above $1 billion, that tax rate would increase to 3 percent.

    The newspaper, citing a person familiar with the plan, reported that Warren’s plan would try to counter tax evasion by boosting funding for the IRS, and by levying a one-time tax penalty on people with more than $50 million who try to renounce their U.S. citizenship. It would also require that a certain number of people who pay the wealth tax be subject to annual audits, the Post reported.

    1. tarran

      I guess she’ll be voting for that wall at some point….

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        The good news, if you are worth $49.99M, you can escape penalty free.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          2 or 3% based on assets?

          So lets just blow up ALL of the larger companies in the US, by making them attempt to liquidate 3% of their value, all at once.

          Fucking insane.

          1. Gadfly

            It’ll also do wonders to everyone’s retirement accounts.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          If you’re worth, say, $200 million, can’t you just open four corporate accounts or some such scheme?

          Go get yourself a beer you commie crackpot.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      She’s trying to out Maduro AOC.

    3. Tres Cool

      We’ll since she was reportedly worth $14.5M in 2011, $50M sounds like a safe number for her.

    4. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Pelosi leads fight against wealth tax plan.

      1. Spudalicious

        DiFi sponsor companion bill in the Senate.

    5. Rhywun

      And when you point out that this won’t come close to funding the current bloat let alone their fever dreams, and is in fact just an attempt to punish the successful, they go “And?”

      1. Suthenboy

        Exactly right. Punishment is the point. It isnt a revenue issue, it is an issue of fairness. The Chocolate Jesus told us so.
        Envy writ large for the base, evasion of taxes for the leadership. Whatcha wanna bet the millionaires and billionaires that run the party never pay a penny more than they do now, if they do now at all.

        1. Suthenboy

          I wonder what the chances are we get to see the tax returns of all of the shitweasels that were demanding to see Trump’s returns?

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        The estate tax already raises less than it costs. What’s one more tax that does the same?

    6. Brett L

      I assume the Clintons have a small plane for her to ride in.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        I’d suggest a helicopter.

    7. Mad Scientist

      We already have a 2% to 3% tax every year. We call it inflation.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Yes but that hurts the poorest most. We need everyone to be equally miserable.

    8. Get ready for people suddenly moving to the Caymans, et al.

  29. Rufus the Monocled

    Re AOC and Graham. The way I see it is all politicians should pile on her stupidity. Drown the idiot out. Don’t give illiberals an inch because they’ll take a revolution and fuck you up.

    NIP THAT SHIT IN THE BUD.

  30. Scruffy Nerfherder
    1. Rufus the Monocled

      “…The Christiansburg Police Department announced, Steven Meek was a victim of not only physical abuse but also sexual abuse at the hands of his mother Kayla Thomas and her boyfriend McKenzie Hellman.

      Hellman lived in the same mobile home as Thomas and her son, police said. Thomas is now pregnant with another child, officials said.”

      Will she allowed to keep the baby?

      Just a horrible story.

    2. Rasilio

      You know they could save costs on a trial by just putting them into gen pop and letting what they did be known

    3. Bobarian LMD

      Well fuck, now my balls hurt.

      That is terrible.

    4. Chipwooder

      Cases like this are why I am reluctant to do away with the death penalty entire. Some people just need killin’.

  31. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    https://reason.com/volokh/2019/01/24/libel-law-and-the-covington-boys

    Volokh Conspiracy breaks down whether or not the Covington boys could sue for libel against publications.

    This thing has turned so fast against the press.

    1. That looks a little like a “no” from Volokh. I’m really torn, because on the one hand I don’t like the idea of a litigious society, or of using stuff like libel or slander laws to suppress speech. On the other hand, how horrifying is it to think that the national media can turn an almost united front against a bunch of high school students who had the misfortune of wearing the wrong hats and being white near shitty people?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I understand why you’re of two minds on this. That being said, I hope they sue several of those rags into nonexistance.

      2. Bob Boberson

        Meh. I have no problem with civil libel and slander laws. Does someone have the right to spread lies and slander someone’s character? Absolutely. Should there also be a mechanism for the person injured to retaliate? Yup. As long as it’s handled in civil rather than criminal court I don’t see it as a tool for violating rights.

      3. On a visceral level I want to see people who I think do bad things prevented from doing bad things in the future, and then punished, probably in that order. But I’m also very aware of the “me today, you tomorrow” bit, and at the rate Newspeak is being adopted in the West I can see a near future where someone is successfully sued for using the wrong pronoun, or for wishing someone a Merry Christmas, or something like that.

        1. Bob Boberson

          I guess it could go that way but I think for it to be considered slander the plaintiff has to demonstrate that the slander was deliberate and resulted in observable negative consequences (getting fired, losing business, etc). Of course in the era of feels some judge would probably uphold some douches claim that they have PTSD from the hate speech and put some poor sucker on the hook for damages. Still, I would think even libertopia would have a mechanism for redress for deliberately spreading lies.

  32. Suthenboy

    Skateboard girl has been hammering away on ‘we need to ditch the constitution’ lately. If that doesnt disqualify him nothing else will. Leftists are idiots. Morons of the first order.
    So she wears a onesie with footies in it. So does pajama boy and they put him forward as some kind of model citizen sheep. They see nothing wrong with it. We can point and laugh and they wont understand what we are laughing at while they pull the lever for her.

    1. Spudalicious

      Bob Frank is just joining the Dem battle to out commie each other.

  33. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    https://twitter.com/RobProvince/status/1088557884680617984

    Alright, another recently unemployed journalist!

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      These journalist layoffs really cheered me up after watching some of the same journalists attack boys for smiling. Their misery makes me smile.

      1. Tundra

        Interesting that they are actually getting fired. With all the examples of journalistic malpractice, I don’t recall anyone getting nuked before.

        It’s a good start.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          Oh, they’re not getting fired because they are absolutely terrible at their job and function more as propagandists than journalists. They’re getting fired because their publications aren’t profitable. I care not.

          1. Tundra

            Comes down to the same thing. Bad product? Bye-bye!

    2. Chipwooder

      And I’m sure she has some weepy “Have you no decency?” retort to the people mocking her on her Twitter. Kind of the cherry on top, really.

      Learn to code, bitch.

    3. Chipwooder, 4:15
      Commodius Spitoon, 4:24

      I get not reading the links, but not even reading the comments is a new low.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Someone say something?

      2. I thought I was the only one who complained about it.

        1. This was a double foul.

  34. Rufus the Monocled

    “Tracy Swavely ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ?

    @TracySwavely
    13h13 hours ago
    More
    Growing up my father always warned us not to believe everything we read in the newspapers or see on TV. I finally get it.”

    Same here. I finally understand.

    1. One of my grandfather’s sayings was “The paper will hold still for anything.”

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        https://www.leanblog.org/2014/02/you-get-what-you-expect-and-you-deserve-what-you-tolerate/

        “You get what you expect and you deserve what you tolerate.”

  35. I borrowed Black Panther for my son to watch since he’s a big Marvel fan. What a sloppy snoozefest of a movie – an hour in and I’m walking away to play some video games on the PC.

    1. Tundra

      Racist!

      1. Rasilio

        The funny thing is an actually objective watching will show that the movie is actually quite racist against Africans

        1. C. Anacreon

          And a total misrepresentation of Oakland as if it were some rust belt housing project slum with tall projects like Chicago’s south side used to have, which must be what LA producers think Oakland is like, no doubt having never been there. Actually, even the poorest parts of Oakland are mostly single family homes with yards, all with nice views of at least the hills to the east, but some also with Bay views.

          1. I learned that from Friday.

    2. I made it about twenty minutes. Just didn’t grab me. I might give it another whirl to prove I’m not racist, but I doubt it.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Someone has a MAGA pillow hat.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      I found it to be one of the better Marvel Movies, but not anywhere near deserving Oscar consideration.

      Thor Rag, CA Civil War, and CA Winter Soldier were better.

      1. I really dug the CA movies. And the Thor ones, I thought those were fun. Honestly, the Black Panther one is the only Marvel that I’ve really thought just kinda didn’t do anything for me.

        And yes, I know how that looks. Like I say, I’m willing to give it another shot.

        In my defense, I’ve loved every single Blade film and have seen them all probably four times now.

        1. Rasilio

          see a progressive would say the only possible reason you didn’t like Black Panther is the black people in it. They just couldn’t concieve of the fact that a movie that spent 2 hours directly calling you a racist might be slightly offputting

          1. That’s funny, I don’t remember getting called a racist (directly or no) but I watched it on Netflix maybe they took that part out.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            I wish it were more racists and dropped the white characters.

            Yes, Martin Freeman is a good actor. And original Everett K Ross was a great character. Both totally wasted in this one.

    5. I just watched it last week, decent enough time killer. Not Oscar-caliber (if that even means anything) but didn’t suck.

    6. Rufus the Monocled

      Boy not only is MAGA racism raging here but so is toxic masculinity!

      I thought I knew you people.

      1. JaimeRoberto, Public Intellectual

        What do you mean, “you people”?

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

          1. DO YOU EVEN WORK?

    7. It’s not a true Oscar contender. The first Iron Man to me is still the best Marvel superhero movie made.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        If the rest of it lived up to the “Tony testifies before the committee” scene, Iron Man 2 would have been the greatest movie of the last ten years.

    8. Pan Zagloba

      It was OK till the end, when it turned into blackface Ant-Man.

      But fuck it, Christopher Priest was in the credits, so hopefully he got some royalties out of it. The Man certainly earned them.

    9. Bob Boberson

      I haven’t seen a superhero movie I’d say was “good” since The Watchmen. I haven’t seen one with spending two hours since the Christian Bale Batman movies. All the Avengers and DC universe has failed to hold my interest whatsoever.

      1. Highly recommend “Into the Spiderverse” – it’s a whole different level.

        1. So, is it me or does the art style look an awful lot like Telltale Games’ later stuff, especially The Walking Dead 1 & 2, and The Wolf Among Us?

          1. Haven’t played those, but it’s Extremely dynamic and vibrant.

    10. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It was painfully dumb and absolutely racist.

      And I generally like stupid superhero flicks.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Goddammit it’s bad enough when we get blamed for Georgia Man or Alabama Man … or even Ohio Man … but now we’re being blamed for Pennsylvania Man?

    2. Florida Man

      That dude is going to be gator food one day.

    3. Gadfly

      I hope I don’t have to sit next to one of those on a plane.

      1. Rasilio

        The gator or the Florida man?

        1. Potato, potahto.

        2. Florida Man

          I’d rather sit next to a gator than most people.

  36. AlmightyJB

    Started with Founders Oatmeal Stout Nitro , now on Deschutes Baltic Porter. Both quite nice:)

  37. Tundra

    You guys won’t believe this, but my fine state’s addition to the House of Reps is a piece of shit!

    There’s too much to quote. Congrats, District 60B – you’ve really outdone your already hideous record.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      I know you mean Minnesoda, but that description is true for everyone here.

    2. Tundra

      Correction: District 5.

      Doesn’t matter. When you make people wistful for Ellison, you’re doing it wrong.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      I hear ya.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahmed_Hussen

      Our immigration minister is a Somali who wasn’t fucking born here.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        So he’s right for the job?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Well, he’s a libertarian, so he’s got to be the worst.

    4. Rhywun

      I made it partway through that article and one or two links therein, now I need to pick my jaw up off the floor if want to continue. Holy shit.

      1. Tundra

        And yet, absolutely nothing from the local rags. Her skin looks pretty good despite the relentless tongue-baths.

        Fuck this.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Uffda, I thought I was keeping abreast of her colorful background, but I hadn’t heard a peep about this issue. The PowerLine guys haven’t even brought it up.

        2. Rhywun

          My favorite bit was what I pieced together from two separate articles: the new president’s previous experience as a diversity bureaucrat in Buffalo made him the perfect man to bring democracy back to Somalia.

          You literally can’t make this shit up.

    5. Suthenboy

      Brother…ex-husband, what’s the difference?

    6. Pan Zagloba

      Farmaajo — a U.S. citizen who, inconceivably, had boarded that plane as a Buffalo, NY, cubicle employee of the New York Department of Transportation — was the eventual surprise winner of Somalia’s presidency on February 8, 2017.

      The New York Times deemed Farmaajo’s bribe-fueled win “one of the most fraudulent political events in Somalia’s history.” In the run-up, “some Parliament seats had gone for more than $1 million each”

      You mock, yet here is the man creating Libertopia where it belongs!

      1. Department of Transportation?

        …you thinking what I’m thinking?!

        1. Pan Zagloba

          I think so, Bill, but where are we gonna find a garden hose and twenty gallons of yogurt at this time of night?

          1. Sean

            Lol

    7. Pope Jimbo

      I was laughing too hard at this story about her owning twitter critics.

      Basically a few people pointed out that her tweet last Tuesday was extra horrible because it was already clear that the Covington controversy was totally fucked, but she went ahead and attacked the kids, lauded the black bigots and repeated Phillips accusations.

      She deleted the tweets, but some shitlords had cached copies and were taunting her. Her response? “You guys are such hypocrites! If you care so much about those kids why are you retweeting my shitty tweet that attacks them?”

      It really is up there in pro wrestling levels of balls to take that tack in your response.

    8. The entire process has been so bad, several analysts said, that the Shabab militant group, one of the deadliest Islamist organizations in the world, isn’t even trying to derail the vote because the corruption free-for-all almost makes the militants look upstanding by comparison.

      I’m not an antiterrorism expert by any means, but in the limited study I’ve done on the topic one common thread is that terror groups tend to do very well recruiting by the argument that the official authorities are corrupt and illegitimate, and therefore must be deposed by force if necessary. And yeah, the Somali government makes Al-Shabaab look like a not-unreasonable alternative.

    1. Ninth Circuit overturns existence of the United States. Returns to various Indian groups.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        I was gonna say “it’s been a while since ’30 minutes or your injunction is free’ was tested”…

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      Wow, there are some creepy-ass people in the comments.

      Remember when being “conservative” at least putatively meant “fiscal”?

      1. Tundra

        Remember when being “conservative” at least putatively meant “fiscal”?

        Uh, no actually.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          To be fair, I think only OMWC is old enough to remember that.

          If he still were capable of remembering things.

      2. As opposed to HM, who’s one of the creepy ass-people.

          1. In the sidebar for me was this

            What the ever-living fuck?

          2. Pan Zagloba

            Gen-X has finally slipped into Full Boomerdom.

            Welp, we had a good run. Time to head to ice floes.

          3. Rhywun

            So it sounds exactly like the original, just like “Africa” did.

            I don’t see why they’re bothering.

          4. This. I used to defend Weezer from the haters, now I’m a hater.

          5. Rhywun

            I lost interest after Pinkerton.

          6. Yeah, I was dramatically underwhelmed. I still think the “metal” version by Leo Moracchioli is the best cover I’ve heard. The Weezer thing was just the original with I think an added China cymbal.

          7. Rhywun

            “Take On Me” had some nice power-pop guitars in the middle but it wasn’t worth waiting for it.

          8. Count Potato

            I don’t get it either. That whole Teal album is just a bunch of covers that sound to close to the original.

          9. Count Potato

            Um, too.

          10. Scruffy Nerfherder

            What the hell?

            No really, WHAT THE HELL?

        1. commodious spittoon

          *heavy sigh*

        2. Bob Boberson

          This autoplayed after and I laughed and laughed:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui7jeZSsgFs

    1. What exactly is the “moment of birth”? Crowning? Once the shoulders are out? Or do we have to wait until the afterbirth?

      “Quick, grab the butcher knife! The mother changed her mind and the placenta’s not out yet!”

      1. Tundra

        The whole story is bizarre (not the Satan one, the real one). It also doesn’t seem to be getting much attention.

        1. Rhywun

          The nearest to an actual explanation I can find is this:

          The new law will allow a licensed “health-care practitioner” acting under their scope of practice to perform an abortion when:

          “According to the practitioner’s reasonable and good faith professional judgment based on the facts of the patient’s case: the patient is within twenty-four weeks from the commencement of pregnancy, or there is an absence of fetal viability, or the abortion is necessary to protect the patient’s life or health.”

          Oh, and Cuomo wants to make it a Constitutional “right”.

          1. Enslave all the doctors!

          2. Rhywun

            You get an abortion! And YOU get an abortion! And YOU get an abortion! …

          3. Sean

            Even me?

          4. Rebel Scum

            No. You don’t get an abortion. You get aborted.

          5. Rasilio

            I am not seeing anything wrong with this…

            “According to the practitioner’s reasonable and good faith professional judgment based on the facts of the patient’s case: the patient is within twenty-four weeks from the commencement of pregnancy”

            It seems like a perfectly reasonable cut off point for abortion to be legal.

            I think this is actually a good thing…

            “, or there is an absence of fetal viability”

            I think it is an abomination to force a woman to continue to carry and then go through labor with a child who cannot survive exutero when she does not want to. Sure if delivering the baby will give her closure and she wants to do it then let her, but if having to deliver the baby normally and then watch it die in her arms is too painful then we should absolutely do whatever we can to alleviate that pain including aborting the baby early. The key here is that the death of the baby has to be a foregone conclusion.

            This is honestly the only one I see as being problematic…

            or the abortion is necessary to protect the patient’s life or health.”

            This one is ripe for abuse because protecting her health is so nebulous of a concept, there is also the issue that while I am not a doctor and so there could be things I do not know about I am not aware of a single condition that would threaten the mothers life or health which could not be resolved equally well by inducing labor early or a c-section as they could by an abortion. I have not read the bill in full so there may be some of this in there but based on what I have seen I would like to see this clarified by requiring that any time a dr performs an abortion post 24 weeks that there is an automatic medical review that if it finds his actions unjustified given the facts of the case will result in anything from his license being suspended through a referral to the DA for possible criminal charges.

            That said this bill is nowhere near as outrageous as the anti abortion activists try to make it seem. I saw Ben Shapiro’s take on it yesterday and while I generally like Ben he was being a moron arguing that if a woman was in active labor minutes from delivery and decided she didn’t want the baby any more that it authorized the doctor to just immediately switch into abortion mode and cut the kid up inside her.

            1) this would never happen, no woman is going to carry the baby the full 9 months, get into the middle of labor and then decide she wants an abortion
            2) this would never happen, no doctor would ever go along with it because there is no reasonable way to conclude that a woman in the pain of labor is in her right mind enough to make life or death decisions
            3) the arguement the Dr still needs to have some kind of fig leaf of protecting her life or health to protected from prosecution of some sort himself and there is no way that could be fabricated under those circumstances

          6. Rhywun

            Couple things I see. One, they’re cutting the doctor out. Two, breaking the law is no longer a felony.

            Beyond that, I see it as largely another exercise in “Take that, Trump!” (Even though the Democrats have been plotting this move for a decade, their language now makes it clear that they think Trump is going to take their abortions away.)

          7. Cutting the doctor out? Why do you say that, because of the “health-care practitioner” language? I just assumed that was legalese. Can anyone other than an OB/GYN perform a surgical abortion in NY?

          8. Rhywun

            Prior state law only allowed physicians to perform abortions.

          9. Whoa. That’s…whoa. So an RN could do one? I’m not sure how I feel about that, to be honest.

          10. So, the 24-weeks thing is tricky. Depending on maternal age and doctor’s schedules, especially if you’re close to the holidays, you might not get the results of the test that determines likelihood of Down’s or other chromosomal conditions until a few weeks prior to that. I say maternal age because if you’re considered of “advanced maternal age” they prioritize testing and tend to schedule you pretty aggressively, which is a good thing. But, we have friends who didn’t get their results back until the 22nd week because she wasn’t far enough along for the second trimester tests until close to Christmas, and between doctors being on vacation and the test facilities not working over the holidays it took a while to get the results. They were fine, but if they weren’t the next step would have been amniocentesis, which would have to be scheduled, and then that’s putting you right up to it if you decided that you wanted to abort the pregnancy.

            Obviously there are other moral factors that come into play regarding genetic disorders and abortion. I think I know where I stand on that for myself, but I wouldn’t presume to make that decision for someone else, or judge their choice in that regard. All I’m saying is that while the second trimester is a reasonable cutoff point, I can see situations where reasonable, morally-upstanding, responsible people might pass that mark and find themselves at risk of violating that law.

          11. It seems like a perfectly reasonable cut off point for abortion to be legal.

            I fully admit to operating under an appeal to emotion on this one, but I want no part of a philosophy where killing this is considered reasonable.

            Regarding unviable babies and threat to mother’s life, fine. Regarding threat to mother’s health, especially as determined not by a physician, but by an abortion technician, the “health of the mother” will become an excuse for a de facto elective abortion, as it is in other jurisdictions where health of the mother is an excuse.

    2. Pan Zagloba

      Translator Note: Babylon Bee is Unwoke Onion.

      Also, “keikaku” means “plan”

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        The Funny Onion also works.

    3. Rhywun

      Damn, that’s some dark snark. I like it.

      1. straffinrun

        Snark?

        1. Rhywun

          You don’t believe the Evil One really made an appearance in the New York State Senate Chamber, do you? Well, the one who isn’t Cuomo.

    4. Bob Boberson

      A friend of mine posted about this today. It’s pure fucking evil. When your ideology has lead you to not only condoning but cheering infanticide one would think you might consider rethinking said ideology.

  38. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Looks like Trump might declare a national emergency and allocate the wall money on that basis:

    https://mobile.twitter.com/RealSaavedra/status/1088561800382017536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1088561800382017536&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Face.mu.nu%2F

    Then again, it’s a CNN report so who the fuck knows what the truth really is?

    1. Bob Boberson

      “who the fuck knows what the truth really is?”

      It depends on who was wearing the MAGA hat

      1. MAGA hat automatically eliminates all intersectional points. You could be a transsexual, wheelchair-bound, half-black, half-Indian, half-Bangladeshi, blind, deaf, mute, otherkin and a MAGA hat instantly elevates said individual to “more privileged than Henry VIII”.

        1. C. Anacreon

          Very true, look what the popular press and social media thought of Kanye West after he was photographed with the hat on.

    2. straffinrun

      Colon in the wrong place. Should be BREAKING CNN:

        1. straffinrun

          Good morning to you, too.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Well I’ll be damned.

        2. Sloopy’s daughter?

      1. Are you getting one of the bags I mentioned above?

        1. straffinrun

          That’s perfect. I’d rather wear that hat than this one. My hair is poking out the back.

        2. Hats, not bags.

          1. straffinrun

            Too bad they don’t come in snakeskin.

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      The sad thing is that many who, rightly, complained about Obama’s “Imperial Presidency” are going to cheer on this continued abuse of executive power.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Yep. We need more checks and balances, not fewer.

          1. Raven Nation

            Sheesh, what the hell was Coolidge issuing E.O.s about?

          2. Pan Zagloba

            I tried and somehow Wikipedia has a list. It’s not complete but here’s some bits

              3897 Sep 05 Removing Lands from Katmai National Monument to End that Coal Mining Permit be Granted to John J. Folstad
              3917-A Oct 23 Alien Property Custodian authorized to sell at private sale certain specified stock of the Botany Worsted Mills of New Jersey

              4187 Apr 01 Fifty-one Posts Designated as Unhealthful Posts for the Purposes of Retirement of Personnel Under the Regulations for the Foreign Service

            There aren’t really any fun or egregious ones that I could see on a quick scan, sadly.

          3. Raven Nation

            Thanks!

        1. Homple

          There seem to be a whole lot of checks on this guy and people still shit their pants over what he does. Name another president pounded as hard by the opposite party, the media, the intelligentsia, the courts and half his own party. Nixon came close and they kicked him out of office. Andrew Johnson, maybe?

          1. Homple

            The previous administration was on his ass the minute he was elected and the apparatchiks of the permanent bureaucracy hound him 24/7. How much more checks do we need?

          2. Pan Zagloba

            Parental lock on his Twitter device?

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Again, a check on Trump results in pushback from him, which is a check on the Congress, etc.. An adversarial relationship between the various branches is less injurious to liberty than them working together to “get stuff done”.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Perhaps, but that’s how it’s supposed to work. We should trust those in charge as much as we’d trust R. Kelly to babysit our kids.

          5. Homple

            I agree, and I wish every politician would get the same scrutiny. My mileage on that wish has varied.

      2. Tundra

        And we still are no closer to fixing the actual problem.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          It should be obvious to everyone by now that the Federal debt continues precisely for the purpose of political dealings through blackmail.

          1. Homple

            Probably right.

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I don’t agree with it either but I figured Trump’s willingness to horsetrade on the issue being rebuffed out of hand would result in just this happening.

        1. Could have been the Dem strategy all along. Now, with the precedent set, the next Dem president can declare “Carbon Emissions” a national emergency and outlaw all coal generated energy, or some other such nonsense.

          1. I don’t think the Dems are that smart, no one’s playing 3D chess in DC. This is an extremely bad idea though, for just the reason you mention.

          2. straffinrun

            Assigning malice where it’s just a natural inclination. Yep.

          3. Not Adahn

            Except people in government are naturally inclined to malice.

          4. Pan Zagloba

            On the other hand, there were predictions of “but if Obama can create DACA, another president can repeal it!”

            Turns out, no, he can’t.

          5. Rhywun

            Well, no, not when you can shop national policy around to the friendliest district judges.

          6. Heroic Mulatto

            The story isn’t over yet. I suspect that it might make it to the Supreme Court.

          7. Pan Zagloba

            Few days ago they declined to take it on the docket, so, all they gotta do is outwait the 2020…

      4. Bob Boberson

        “But he’s overreaching in a way that I like”

        /Most conservatives

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Most everybody!

        2. Stinky Wizzleteats

          It’s actually good politics, just terrible policy.

        3. Rebel Scum

          I am against this in principle, but I can still enjoy the entertainment it is sure to create. And perhaps it is a feign to gauge the reaction, maybe to get Team Blue to overplay their hand (again…). Idk. I am disillusioned with the whole system, or at least how it is applied. Adhering to the Constitution as written would be fine, but people ignore it unless they can use it to advance their goals. Since we are in that paradigm and Team Blue is inherently more dangerous to freedom, I say give them a taste of their own medicine. ///cynic

    4. Now you’ve gone and posses off Agent Cooper.

      1. Pissed, not posses. Fucking auto-correct!

  39. Don Escaped Texas

    Not Adahn on January 23, 2019 at 8:03 pm:
    How can you say you escaped Texas when you’ve never lived any closer than DFW?

    Now wait a cotton-picking minute. My neighbors
    -love Dez Bryant but can’t remember Don Meredith, YA Tittle, or Doak Walker
    -naturally assumed that everyone else was a Baptist Republican
    -hated Zero U
    -ritually ruined every name and most other words in Spanish and German
    -couldn’t shoot better than my mother
    -have never read the Constitution
    -couldn’t pick Sam Houston out in Statuary Hall in three tries
    -drove 4×4 Suburbans . . . to the grocery

    How is that not Texas?!?1?

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      drove 4×4 Suburbans . . . to the grocery

      Lifted?

      1. Not Adahn

        Grocery shopping requires a dually.

      2. Bowie, Maryland?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hell, I remember women in San Diego driving Humvees (the real ones) to the nail salon.

    3. – Did they own small dogs? Like chihuahuas? Bonus if they were referred to as “inside” or “house” dogs.

      – Did they own at least one item of furniture or decoration in the shape of Texas, such as a wall clock or perhaps coffee table?

      – Were the toilet seats in their home padded?

      – What was their opinion on Bigfoot? One point for believing, Two points for believing he lives in Texas, Three points for having seen or having a relative who has seen him.

      – Did they believe there was edible ice cream made by someone other than Blue Bell?

      Source: my wife and in-laws.

  40. Raven Nation

    I posted briefly last night about the fires near my family in Australia. For any who might be interested, they’ve booked it to Hobart (which should be totally safe). This is the town where they live:

    https://www.themercury.com.au/news/tasmania/dire-warning-for-residents-near-bushfires-people-should-consider-leaving/news-story/b910af2a556b60c3d7344beab5806082

    (TW: auto-play vid)

    1. Spudalicious

      Hope it turns out okay.

      “Bushfire” has a completely different meaning here…

  41. Yusef drives a Kia

    Sargon interviews Delingpole, they aren’t libertarian, They will tell you….
    https://youtu.be/lOIvdaMtz44

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Well no. Delingpole is Thatcherite and has been Milo since before Milo was breeched, and Sargon wobbles between 1945 Labourite and Liberal.

  42. straffinrun

    From my daughter’s English textbook. Question: What is Ichiro doing?
    Her answer (with Papa’s coaching): He’s being a player.

    We’ll find out what the teacher thinks when the kid gets home tonight.

    https://m.imgur.com/a/kqneKGJ

    1. Hitting a double.

    2. Not Adahn

      How much informal English does her teacher know?

      1. straffinrun

        More than the teacher.

        1. straffinrun

          Sorry, kid knows much more than the teacher.

    3. He just tried “the switch” and it worked out better than he could’ve possibly imagined.