Pi Day Afternoon Links

Not my best showing. It was not even a little bit good.

Brett escaped his SMITH-family overlords only to be re-apprehended by his employer. If his comments on the meetings he’ll be in today are any indication, I suspect he’ll be returning to the… uh… “welcoming embrace” of the SMITHs before too long. Luckily for you all, my coworkers have been temporarily tamed by a tidal wave of sugar and fat thanks to my office’s 6th annual Pi Day (our first annual Pi Day was just me baking a shitty blueberry pie and telling everyone Pi Day was a thing). My ability to pie crust is significantly better and I’ve gotten weirder with my choices. Anyway, enough about my attempts to manipulate my coworkers with carbohydrates. To the news!

 

 

And I suppose a wee bit of music goes here, no?

 

Comments

480 responses to “Pi Day Afternoon Links”

  1. What’s the deal with the ravioli checkerboard crust?

  2. CPRM

    Does Pence adhere to his dining rules with de gheys as well?

    1. grrizzly

      Apparently Pence was accompanied by his sister during the visit.

  3. commodious spittoon

    OT, but big: Morris Dee out at SPLC, not for being a mendacious slush-fund operating grifter but for alleged racism toward black employees .

    1. PBRstreetgang

      No sympathy for him whatsoever. Given his incredibly broad and flexible definitions of ‘hate group’ and racists, it was only a matter of time before he was deemed one himself.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Especially if his underlings decided they wanted the SPLC loot instead of him. Got rid of him and still continue the shakedown machine.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Nelson fucking laugh.

      1. Jarflax

        ^ this, eat your own you slime.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      “Dees’ biography appeared scrubbed from the SPLC’s website as news broke of his termination on Thursday afternoon. ”

      Erased just like that. Ha ha!

    4. Michael

      I’ll be damned if I can find them now, but years ago I came across some photos posted online of what was supposedly Dees’ house. The interior decor was so grotesquely tacky it probably could have made Trump nauseous.

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        Better than a pic of dees nuts

        1. slumbrew

          I was surprised the Dietz Nuts Superbowl ad didn’t generate more buzz.

    5. slumbrew

      Good, fuck that grifter. Seeing him get eaten by the monster of his own creation is fantastic.

    6. Ayn Random Variation

      Hehe. Get out the silverware

  4. PBRstreetgang

    “Butterball issues nationwide recall of nearly 80,000 pounds of ground turkey “. Ground turkey. So you’re saying with god as your witness, turkey’s cannot fly?

    1. AlmightyJB

      That was a great show.

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        Best episode:
        1) turkeys can’t fly

        Or
        2) Johnny Fever’s reflexes getting faster the more booze he consumed

        1. AlmightyJB

          Both great. Everyone remembers the turkeys though.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Ground Turkey is vegan, ain’t it?

        1. Depends on which vegan you ask.

  5. Drake

    Is it the beanie? That usually tips me off.

  6. CPRM

    By the By, to whatever overlords are around, if you got any gaps in content coming up, I have a submission pending.

    1. Jarflax

      Giving in to the SMITHS huh?

  7. Francisco d’Anconia

    RACE IS NOT GAY!

    1. jesse.in.mb

      Of course not, just two totally straight men living and working together raising one man’s child from his previous marriage and a random foreign kid…not. gay. at. all.

      1. CPRM

        My Two Dad’s would like a word…

        1. Rhywun

          LOL talk about a more innocent age….

          1. Suthenboy

            Nah. People were the same and everyone knew it they just didn’t talk about it openly

        2. Ayn Random Variation

          So My Three Sons were gay?
          Mind blown.

          1. I used to love when at the beginning Fred Macmurray would look at the camera and say “Welcome to our show.” Immediate cut to bad animation of three tapping sets of feet accompanied by jazz combo, as the words appeared on the screen, ” ..and William Demarest as Uncle Charlie.” But who here can remember Bub and who played him?

          2. William Frawley.

          3. Rhywun

            I watched that afternoon growing up.

          4. Rhywun

            *every* afternoon

      2. Francisco d’Anconia

        He’s a live in bodyguard, pilot and personal assistant. Why ya always gotta read more into it?

        (Of course, he could be an ex “Naval Aviator”)

        *rubs chin*

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Eh, mid-century entertainment was rife with thinly-veiled gay references that the majority could ignore and gay folk could connect with and feel less isolated (think Uncle Arthur). Two bachelors raising children together screams that sensibility.

          1. Ayn Random Variation

            Anybody remember the Cheers episode where Norm had to pretend to be gay to get an interior designing gig?
            Could that be on TV now?

          2. Francisco d’Anconia

            No way! Sammy was the embodiment of toxic masculinity.

          3. slumbrew

            I’m just happy I own the bits to Blazing Saddles, both ripped and on DVD.

            I fear that will be declared wrongthink and wrongfun within my lifetime and dropped into the memory hole.

          4. slumbrew

            “Last night I programmed myself to dream about your space”.

            That line still makes me laugh.

      3. R C Dean

        Maybe he’s not. You’re not gay if you’re the pitcher, right?

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          σωστός

        2. Creosote Achilles

          +1 Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock Onion (when it was funny) article

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            That was the best. The 911 Hijackers are Surprised When They Wake Upin Hell was great too.

        3. jesse.in.mb

          Only in the framework of sodomy as behavior rather than homosexuality as identity. The historical moments where those two mindsets are vying for cultural dominance are interesting to study, but pretty depressing as you have folks who start to identify as something other than “sinner” clash against a society that feels compelled to put the lid on divergent behavior and throw folks off buildings or whatever.

      4. Sensei

        I never gave any thought to this when I watched this show, but now that you mention it…

        (Japanese has sound in between B and V that get used to approximate F. It also sounds a bit odd)

      5. Chafed

        I’m pretty sure The Venture Brothers weighed in on this. Where’s Slumbrew when I need him?

          1. Chafed

            Well done.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            The definitive answer

            Harvey Birdman.

      6. Gustave Lytton

        Mmmm…Staci Keanan…

        And she still looks good today, if google can be trusted. Left acting and is a lawyer now.

      1. slumbrew

        Thank you, I was looking for that.

      2. Chafed

        I had forgotten about that. That was a great episode.

        I miss that show. Anyone know why it was canceled?

        1. slumbrew

          Usual Adult Swim stuff, I’m sure – they tend to run out of steam. Plus Colbert got too big-time to keep doing it (though they could have replaced him, I suppose).

  8. Tundra

    “This statement is saying, ‘Hey. Wait. Stop. This is too important to have small groups of scientists who’ve taken it upon themselves to be making these decisions for all of humanity,’ ” says Marcy Darnovsky, who runs the Center for Genetics & Society, a watchdog group.

    “Allowing reproductive gene-editing would open the door to certain people whose parents were able to afford genetic upgrades being considered superior to everyone else,” Darnovsky says. “The last thing we want to do is build a future in which we’re creating classes of people who are considered genetic-haves and others who are have-nots.”

    So, gene editing Top Men is bad, but we’re gonna use the government Top Men to decide how it happens?

    1. Hyperion

      “but we’re gonna use the government Top Men to decide how it happens?”

      It’s totally different, those are experts! Experts I tell you! Experts are like ordinary people, but… experts!

    2. Rhywun

      gene-editing would open the door to certain people whose parents were able to afford genetic upgrades being considered superior to everyone else

      So, deny reality. That always ends up well.

    3. Chafed

      Yes, and I’m mad they are crushing my dreams of becoming a Marvel superhero.

    4. Ayn Random Variation

      They just can’t stand the idea of somebody having the means or ability to do something others don’t have the means or ability to do.

      I hate to quote but many decades ago he described liberalism as shared misery. Everybody has to be equally miserable. Except for the people in charge. It’s their guiding principle in every facet of life. The whole crabs or lobsters or whatever that is trying to climb out of the bucket.
      And these assholes claim the moral high ground at every turn. Fuck them to hell.

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        ….quote Rush

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Steaming pile of bullshit

    The ruling comes as yet another twist in the lawsuit’s circuitous path through the court system, one that continued far longer than many, including legal experts and the families, had initially expected. “This decision was a long time in coming but it was more than worth the wait,” said Joshua D. Koskoff, a lawyer for the families.

    ———

    The lawsuit said that the companies were wrong to entrust an untrained civilian public with a weapon designed for maximizing fatalities on the battlefield. Lawyers pointed out advertising — with messages of combat dominance and hyper-masculinity — that resonated with disturbed young men who could be induced to use the weapon to commit violence.

    “Remington may never have known Adam Lanza, but they had been courting him for years,” Mr. Koskoff, one of the lawyers representing the families, told the panel of judges during oral arguments in the case in 2017. The weapon used by Mr. Lanza had been legally purchased by his mother, Nancy Lanza, whom he also killed.

    Explain to me how NOT selling that gun to Adam Lanza means they were desperately pursuing him as a customer.

    I’m sure Koskoff’s meter has been running since day one. Of course he’s thrilled.

    1. PBRstreetgang

      Even if Remington was desperately pursuing Adam Lanza as a customer, they FAILED.

    2. CPRM

      Koskoff

      Moar Ruzzian collision?!

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Remington must have a hell of a marketing department if that’s the picture the gun buying public is getting about their semiauto products because their non-bolt action stuff sucks.

      Also, Lanza stole that gun if I remember correctly so how does that even apply?

      1. Suthenboy

        Gun grabbers lie like you draw breath.
        Every fucking word out of their mouth is calculated to deceive

    4. R C Dean

      I thought gun companies have a law immunizing them from these lawsuits.

      1. AlmightyJB

        They do. Its just social signalling from judges.

    5. mindyourbusiness

      But just think of the product liability territory this opens up! You could bring suit against Waring after someone uses a blender to fatally slash his mother! After all, the perp would be a member of the ‘untrained civilian public’!

  10. CPRM

    my partner was living in Chicago, and they said both Matt and I would be very welcome to visit their home in future.”

    Is that as bad as when Milania stay in NY so that midget could finish the school year? Does it mean this leprechaun is Hitler too? I’m so confused!

    1. Ayn Random Variation

      Member when Obama and his wife flew to NYC (for uncivil) on our dime for dinner and a show and it was fabulous. But it’s hitleresque for trump’s wife to stay in her own apartment trump paid for.

      1. I don’t remember this fellow.

        Ask Pepperidge farms, I hear they remember.

      2. slumbrew

        *Waves hand*

        This is not the taxpayer waste you’re looking for.

        Also, shut up.

  11. Hyperion

    If the USA school system think they are doing well at brainwashing gullible kids, Sweden says ‘Hold my beer’.

    The dumbing down, act 3

    1. Tundra

      Wow, that’s a lifelike puppet.

    2. CPRM

      At least she’s done something.

    3. To be fair, almost anybody can be nominated for a Peace Prize.

      1. robc

        She hasn’t killed nearly enough people to win the Peace Prize.

        1. Fourscore

          She can’t be trusted with a gun, only the future of the planet.

      2. Hyperion

        It’s become sort of like Hollywood. It’s now just a constant circle jerk for their insulated bubble.

        It takes some real arrogance to believe that much of anyone else could give a fuck if some 15 year olds skip school.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Exactly. The left is a mutual masterbation society.

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Meh, the Nobel has already been defiled. They may as well go ahead and finish it off with more hyperpolitical bullshit.

        1. Hyperion

          That was pretty much a given after they gave one to Krugabe.

          1. slumbrew

            ISTR that his econ Nobel was legit and well earned. It’s just that he sullied it by opining beyond that narrow focus.

        2. Rhywun

          Maybe they’ll make her turn it in if the world doesn’t end in 12 years.

        3. Pft. You know how easy it is to nominate someone for a Nobel? You or I could nominate Winston’s Mom if we wanted to. They get thousands of nominations IIRC.

          Ring me back if Climate Mattie actually is a contender.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      Greta does nothing to disabuse one of the popular notion that without outside information, being autistic and being an asshole are identical phenomena.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Isn’t that Downs she has? >.>;

    5. Suthenboy

      I don’t understand why so many people can’t be bothered to look out of the window

      1. Jarflax

        Ok, Climate change is BS, but saying things like this is not going to persuade anyone. You obviously cannot look out a window and see a 2° change.

        1. Not Adahn

          what if you have a thermometer out the window?

          1. Jarflax

            A thermometer that tracks average annual global temperature?

          2. Well, the Greenies claim to be able to know what that is. The best place for these thermometers is in large concentrations of paved land near heat vents from HVAC units.

          3. Ayn Random Variation

            The best place for these thermometers is in large concentration s of paved land near heat vents from HVAC units camps of climate deniers.

          4. Jarflax

            sorry I know you were joking, my reply was meant to be playful, but reading it just sounds pedantic.

    6. Ayn Random Variation

      Would

  12. The Late P Brooks

    ‘Hey. Wait. Stop. This is too important to have small groups of scientists who’ve taken it upon themselves to be making these decisions for all of humanity,’

    “I’m the one who should be making those decisions on behalf of everybody else!”

    1. Brett L

      Remember, eugenics (TOP. MEN. directed breeding) is bad, but letting individuals assess their level of risk in when and whether to change the heritable genes of extant human beings they are responsible for is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING! Far better that infants and toddlers die of genetic diseases that may lie on a heritable allele until the TOP. MEN. get around to approving it. They are (edited) heritable genes. Nature already has a robust method of selecting for non-advantageous heritable genes.

  13. Playa Manhattan

    https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/rocket-alerts-blare-in-tel-aviv-1.7022326

    If Omar were a republican, this would be blamed on her.

    1. Chafed

      I guess all that Israeli hypnotism isn’t as effective as she claimed.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        The Jews are making the rockets miss their intended targets. It’s the only possible explanation.

        1. Chafed

          Strokes (((chin))) knowingly.

        2. Lackadaisical

          Its just a ploy to make people feel bad for ((them))), like the ‘holocaust’.

          1. Spudalicious

            False flag attack committed by Jews who snuck into Gaza to fire the rockets.

          2. Chafed

            (((I))) didn’t think of that. Thanks. I’ll bring suggest it at the next meeting.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    First “Times pick” comment:

    jb
    ok27m ago
    Times Pick

    As a gun owner with a concealed carry permit, and training with regular practice, I see zero adequate cause to allow rifles designed perfectly for fast and devastating fire to be sold. If lawsuits are necessary to stop those sales, so be it. Gun owners desiring self and family defense have no reason for them. Hunters have no reason for them. Going boom at the gun range can be enjoyed by other means. And the toll in human lives when mass murderers get them is by no means acceptable. There’s no fuzzy sanctity in guns or their owners that we should continue to supply killers with these. If you want guns legal, they need to be sane. And no grenades, either, please.

    What were we discussing earlier, about variability of prefe3rences and subjective value?

    “If you have a Jasper Johns painting on your wall, you should be forcibly committed. Only a crazy person would like that crap.”

    1. CPRM

      Hunters have no reason for them

      Somebody isn’t hunting the most dangerous game.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Dip shit. As soon as the gun grabbers take whatever subset of rifles you deem unnecessary, they’ll come back for the rest, especially your own concealed carry piece. Fucking dumbass useful idiot.

      1. Tundra

        Lighten up Gustave. There are no historical examples of a gradual disarming of a society resulting in atrocities, right?

        This guy is just being reasonable.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          My guess is it’s a pretend gun owner pushing a narrative.

          1. AlmightyJB

            It is

          2. Chafed

            This.

      2. This assumes the commenter actually owns a gun.

        1. Ayn Random Variation

          The best thing about the crowd is the efficacy of your BS detectors. You’re all right. This wasn’t written by a gun owner

    3. AlmightyJB

      I posted this earlier as well. Background check for ammo.

      https://www.guns.com/news/2019/03/14/dems-debut-national-ammo-control-bill-in-congress

    4. Michael

      As a gun owner with a concealed carry permit…

      I have a hard rule that any statement prefaced with “as a [disfavored group being argued against]…” is to be treated as complete and utter bullshit.

      See: “As a former Republican…”

      1. Rhywun

        “Some of my best friends own guns.”

      2. leon

        +1000 user stories

      3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        When I was a Navy SEAL…

      4. Lackadaisical

        See: “As a former Republican…”

        I thought that was ‘as a former libertarian…’

        1. Akira

          I think “former libertarian” means “I kinda liked the sound of some of Ron Paul’s ideas but then decided to vote for Obama”.

          I’ve never heard anyone claim that they slogged through the likes of Mises, Rothbard, Bastiat, or Hayek only to return to the “progressive” feeding trough. I don’t see how someone could apprehend the content of those authors but then regress to screeching about “income inequality” unless we’re talking about some kind of traumatic brain injury.

    5. Raston Bot

      Gun owners desiring self and family defense have no reason for them. Hunters have no reason for them.

      first, i’ll take Fabricated Bullshit for $1000, Alex! all of these anti-gun stories have a featured up-voted comment from a “gun-owning, concealed-carry licensee, frequent training participant” that argues semi-auto rifles are not necessary.

      second, he misses the whole purpose of the 2A.

    6. kbolino

      Once we surrender all icky freedoms to the government, we’ll achieve utopia.

    7. bacon-magic

      I recently learned what a Fudd is. This Times Nose Picker epitomizes a Fudd. huh huh huh huh.

    8. Suthenboy

      How tiresome. The old ‘I’m a gun owner but even I think the population should be disarmed’ canard.
      Ten bucks says this guy is lying his ass off.

      1. AlexinCT

        Not taking that bet cause I am certain you would win.

    9. Grumbletarian

      I see zero adequate cause to allow rifles designed perfectly for fast and devastating fire to be sold.

      Guns should be clumsy and inaccurate. Then it would be safe for people to buy them.

    10. slumbrew

      Pairing this nonsense with the “track knives via GPS” nonsense below gets you two points on a straight line.

    11. Ayn Random Variation

      Ah the “zero adequate cause” clause. Must be in the same section of the Constitution with the “nobody needs” and “you didn’t build” that clauses.

  15. Playa Manhattan

    What is a Race Bannon?

      1. Brett L

        His servants call him Master Race.

        1. Enough About Palin

          Okay, that’s funny.

      2. Lackadaisical

        I almost voted Trump just to get Vice President Bannon. 😛

        (not that my vote mattered)

    1. Trolleric the Goth

      why, it’s a faster version of the regular Bannon, of course!

      1. CPRM

        Does it have more or less power than the Hobo Bannon?

        1. jesse.in.mb

          the Hobo Bannonthe Hobo Bannon

          I’m trying to decide if this is an unkind comparison for Steve or hobos.

          1. CPRM

            ask SugarFree, he’s the one who created Hobo Steve.

          2. Creosote Achilles

            The hobos. Traditionally at least hobos were willing to do day labor in trade for food and then hopped on the train to ride the rails. As opposed to bums who simply wanted to loaf all the time. Which Bannon appears to be.

          3. Hyperion

            HOBO SMITH. HOBO SMITH VISIT HOMELESS CAMP. TO RAPE HOMELESS.

          4. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            THEN HOBO SMITH LEAVE TOWN, RIDE RAILS. BY RIDE RAILS MEAN RAPE BURLINGTON NORTHERN

      2. Tundra

        It’s blown lowered and stiffened.

        1. R C Dean

          In that case, I wanna be Race Dean.

      3. Hyperion

        “why, it’s a faster version of the regular Bannon, of course!”

        How fast do you have to be to just get up off the couch for anything other than to reach that bottle of bourbon?

  16. mikey

    Things we cant do anymore #11239596.
    Went down to the wife’s studio today and she was playing that Ray Stevens classic A Hab the A Rab.

    Still kinda cute.

    Hang his ass!

    https://youtu.be/ZNigDOHz4j0

      1. AlmightyJB

        Lol

    1. Ayn Random Variation
  17. Heroic Mulatto

    Blasi et al. (2019) highlights what many criticize about “evolutionary” frameworks in disciplines like psychology or linguistics, the Just-So Story phenomenon. I mean, it’s an interesting theory, now get in your time machine and prove it. From a phonological point of view, the fact that labiodentals have been shown in silico to require 30 percent less muscular effort in overbite is meaningless. The voiced and voiceless dental fricative are quite biomechanically simple in either an overbite or an edge-to-edge configuration, yet, together, they remain one of the rarer sounds in the languages of the world (And one of the first things we Anglophones go to when mimicking foreign accents).

    Do I believe that evolutionary pressures help to shape phonetic/phonological patterns and rules in languages? Yes. Do I believe that they are the only factors that impact phonetic/phonological shift? No. Do I believe that the amount of empirically-derived evidence needed to definitively show causality exists in this case? No, and I believe it will be a while until we do have enough.

    1. jesse.in.mb

      HM signal lit, HM signal answered. I appreciate the insight.

    2. Private Chipperbot

      I feel like an embedded twerking video link is missing from this.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I agree with Private Chipperbot.

        NEEEEEERD!

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Blame hotel wi-fi.

          1. AlexinCT

            Happy BIRTHDAY BRO!

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Thanks!

          3. Tundra

            Happy birthday! I hope it’s appropriately debauched!

      2. bacon-magic

        No twerk no listen to lingual jerk. (“expert” didn’t quite rhyme enough, know that jerk is a loving term this time)

    3. invisible finger

      Vagina just sounds more upper-classy than pudenda.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I thought gun companies have a law immunizing them from these lawsuits.

    You probably think there is a known, universally accepted definition for the word “is”, too.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      The proper answer depends on this variable: X(Hotness).

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Just lie back and think of…?

      Easy fix. As soon as she starts frigging herself, just yell out “WTF are you doing?”. If she isn’t sufficiently embarrassed by that, tell her to do it in the shower or somewhere private. How hard is that?

      1. AlexinCT

        What if she gets turned on that she got caught and starts squirting?

        1. slumbrew

          I… I don’t think that’s how that works.

          1. AlmightyJB

            It could.

    3. Michael

      I’m also absolutely mortified about possibly discussing this with her.

      This is never a problem with guys.

      “Bro, you spank it?

      Cool, cool. Me too.

      You ever cross swords?”

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Miss me with that gay shit.

        If you’ve ever touched your own dick, that’s gay because you are still touching a dick.

        I “jack off” purely through the power of my mind.

        1. TARDIS

          Wet dreams FTW?

        2. Jarflax

          My right hand is trans you shitlord!

      2. AlexinCT

        WTF???

        1. jesse.in.mb

          It’s impolite to answer a question with a question, Alex.

    4. Spudalicious

      Ask her if she needs some help?

    5. Chafed

      This does’t appear to involve penic activity but I can’t believe ZARDOZ doesn’t have something to say.

  19. grrizzly

    Polish newspaper
    It’s a better link than in an earlier thread. It shows the front page in question. There are probably too few Jews left in Poland for the gentile locals to identify them without newspaper articles.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      I can’t believe nobody has made a Polish newspaper joke.

      Did you hear about the submarine with a screen door?

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Did you hear about the polish terrorist?

        He burned his mouth on a tailpipe when he tried to blow up a car.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          I was really hoping that everyone would pile on.

          Glibs are so lame!

          1. We’re just not joiners.

          2. Jarflax

            Winged Hussars have been dispatched to your house.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      According to Wikipedia, there are more Jews in India and Panama than there are in Poland.

      1. grrizzly

        According to this Wikipedia article, there are up to 100,000 or 200,000 “potential Jews” in Poland. They are the ones that require advanced methods of identification.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          To be honest, that number makes more sense to me.

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Huh. I did not know that about Uruguay.

          1. leon

            A lot of Italians in Uruguay too.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            In Argentina too.

            Some of them look great in tiny swimsuits.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Is this because I called you Ted?

          4. Tundra

            Why the fuck would you do that?

        3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          Of course there’s more in Panama, what with all their shady banks and all.

          1. Shade is vital in a tropical hellscape. You need someplace to escape the sun.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Jews with hispanic last names are the shadiest.

            You have know way of knowing which stereotype to apply.

          3. Know, I don’t.

          4. Playa Manhattan

            What would we ever do without you?

          5. Hold a pedantry contest for a replacement?

      2. AlexinCT

        So if you want Jew gold you need to go to India or Panama?

      3. Ayn Random Variation

        There are also more Puerto Ricans in NYC (for uncivil) than in any city in Puerto Rico.

    3. Homple

      A nation with Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib in the federal legislature and Louis Farrakhan and Linda Sarsour as influential public figures doesn’t have much to holler about an anti-Semitic article in another country’s newspaper.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Well, it’s worse.

        The linked paper is British. 🙂

      2. grrizzly

        That’s top quality whataboutism. If Poland had its own propaganda TV channel, you could be on it all the time.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          I bet hosts on Poland Today would be hotter than ones on Russia Today. Female ones, at least.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I don’t remember them putting much effort into the male presenters on RT. PT might still have them beat just for lack of effort.

        2. Homple

          Grrizzly, I’m too old, ugly and don’t speak Polish.

    4. Pan Zagloba

      For some reason, you don’t need Jews for anti-Semitism to exist. I was hearing Jewish Conspiracy stuff decades ago in a country in which they were a rounding error.

      Looking at the paper, a page in Polish tells me it was published by Polish National Party, so that’s the sort of thing one would expect to see, and the issue is why it’s being sold at a newsstand in Parliament building.

  20. Playa Manhattan

    Pi day?

    Does that mean I missed some pizza deals?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      It looks like 7-11 is the only nationwide pizza deal today.

      Who’s going to take one for the team and eat a 7-11 pizza? Please?

      1. Mad Scientist

        I’ll do it!

        But there are no 7-11s nearby. Do you deliver?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          6320 Bristol Rd Ventura

          And… get this….
          24 HOURS!!!

          Could be better than Red Barron. You’re our only hope of finding out!

          1. Mad Scientist

            I’m not driving all the way to Ventura for shitty pizza.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Mad Scientist on March 14, 2019 at 4:01 pm
            I’ll do it!

          3. Mad Scientist

            And I will! Bring me some!

    2. jesse.in.mb

      I saw a list in passing earlier and didn’t think to share it. I apologize.

  21. Mad Scientist

    Six years of practice and both my crust and filling have improved.

    These euphemisms.

    1. Jarflax

      I miss Crusty Juggler.

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        He came down with a terminal case of TDS

  22. Private Chipperbot

    MLB rules updates.

    The only interesting one this year.

    There will be no trades after July 31. August trade waivers have been eliminated, though players can still be placed on and claimed from outright waivers, as they would throughout the rest of the year.

    Next year is a little more interesting.

    The standard roster size in regular season games and postseason games will increase from 25 to 26 players. Beginning on Sept. 1, roster size will expand further to a 28-player maximum (as opposed to the current 40). A maximum number of pitchers will be designated by the Joint Committee. (Passan reported that the league has proposed no more than half a team’s players can be pitchers.)
    Position players are only eligible to pitch in extra innings or when a team is leading or trailing by seven or more runs. Certain position players may be designated as “two-way players,” but to be eligible, they’ll need to have accrued at least 20 innings pitched and started 20 games as a position player/designated hitter in the current season or the preceding season (including at least three trips to the plate in each of those lineup appearances).
    A pitcher must face at least three batters per appearance unless he is removed due to injury or the half-inning in which he is pitching ends before three batters have come to the plate.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Dave Roberts has a sadz with the three batters rule.

    2. Position players are only eligible to pitch in extra innings or when a team is leading or trailing by seven or more runs.

      Drew Butera haz a sad.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Disabled list is now the injured list? WTF?

      1. Spudalicious

        I think handi-capable list would be more appropriate.

        1. Jarflax

          Under the ADA I should be allowed to play fullback using my running leg elephant!

      2. Ayn Random Variation

        Yup. Apparently a disabled persons lobby were offended by the Disabled List.
        I am not making this up.

    4. Ayn Random Variation

      This is needlessly complicated. But the only one I object to is the September roster limit going from 40 to 28. I like seeing the kids come up in Sept.

      Ofcourse this was done to limit ML accrual time for the kids. Follow the money

  23. Rufus the Monocled

    Re the spotting Jews in Poland story. To think Muslims think they have it worse than Jews.

    1. invisible finger

      Just like the SJW “I’m more victimized than thou” shit.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      FUCK YOU! THEY DON’T EVEN ALLOW NEWSPAPERS TO BE PUBLISHED IN PALESTINE! ALL NEWS IS PRINTED ON THE SKIN OF KILLED CHILDREN AND WRITTEN IN THEIR BLOOD!

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Is that how Farfur the Mouse is made?

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Yes.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            That mouse will fuck you up good.

    3. kbolino

      Sometimes, I wonder if the hatred of the Jews has more to do with jealousy than religion or ethnicity. Israel is an ethnostate surrounded by ethnostates and yet the latter can’t achieve what the former did 50+ years later.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        That and they make for convenient scapegoats.

      2. slumbrew

        It goes back longer than 50 years, but I’ve always assumed it was _mostly_ jealousy. “They’re doing better than us, they must be using underhanded means to do so!”

        1. kbolino

          The most underhanded trick of all, not having a coup d’état every 10 or so years.

        2. leon

          I thought it was because white people were programmed to hate Jews.

          1. Spudalicious

            Only the blonde ones with blue eyes.

        3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          It’s also that they don’t have a problem with charging interest, so if you are in debt and times are tough, you’re going to blame your banker.

          There’s a similar issue with Protestants. They didn’t have all those feast days, so they were busy working and becoming more successful. My wife’s family has a saying, “Why are you being pushy like a Lutheran trying to get into heaven?”

          1. Playa Manhattan

            It’s great to have Lutherans over for dinner. They do the dishes before I’ve even finished cooking.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            It’s also that they don’t have a problem with charging interest, so if you are in debt and times are tough, you’re going to blame your banker.

            Conveniently forgetting that moneylending was one of the few jobs in which they were allowed.

            The history of the Jews is basically this script over and over again

            Middle Ages: Farming is a noble profession; you filthy Jews can only do the jobs good Christians don’t want to do, like moneylending and tax collecting.

            *Technological and societal advances lead to the rise of Banking during the Renaissance*

            The Renaissance: OMG! THE JEWS ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!

            The Industrial Revolution: Business is a noble profession; you filthy Jews can only do the jobs good Christians don’t want to do, like acting or singing.

            *Technological and societal advances lead to the rise of Mass Media during the 20th century*

            The 20th Century: OMG! THE JEWS ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!

          3. Pan Zagloba

            So, upcoming?

            21st Century – Learn To Code!

            OMG MY CHIPS HAVE ISRAELI SPYWARE ON THEM!!!!

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            We already have that with those obsessed with The Zuck.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            A personal anecdote:
            Jews are also good at running schools.

            My FIL’s family runs one in Shiraz. All of the ayahtollas and goverment officials send their families there. Why? Because the education is way better than a madras. It’s a no brainer.

            If it weren’t for a little bit of government protection for running the school, the last remaining relatives would have fled to the US long ago.

          6. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Please tell me Chipotle has your FIL’s school cafeteria franchise.

          7. Playa Manhattan

            Persian food is way better than that.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        If you discount oil wealth…. there are a lot of shitholes. A lot.

      4. grrizzly

        A Russian joke:

        Once Churchill was asked: Why isn’t there Antisemitism in England?
        Churchill replied: Well, we, Englishmen, don’t think that Jews are smarter than us…

        The joke is obviously about Russians not English.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Well, Corbyn did suggest that British Jews were incapable of understanding irony.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Is that not part of their New York sense of humor?

          2. Pan Zagloba

            “Americans don’t understand irony” remains an English cliche despite Seinfeld being available over there even today.

          3. Alanis Morissette is Canadian, not American.

          4. jesse.in.mb

            Alanis Morissette is Canadian, not American.

            Isn’t it Ironic?

          5. grrizzly

            Apparently 75% of all American comedians in the ’70s were Jewish. That’s what I learned at the Museum of Jewish People in Tel Aviv.

      5. Rhywun

        The Chinese have been playing that role in Malaysia for a couple centuries. I’m sure there are other examples.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Malayasian & SW Asian ethnic Chinese makes my yellow fever flare up.

          Love the expressions on Sinje Lee’s face as she eye fucks the camera. Still hot twenty years older.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Brotha from anotha motha.

          2. Rhywun

            It’s the only reason I know anything about Malaysia.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            It’s a great place to do business, but don’t even think about chewing gum.

          4. Tundra

            I thought that was Singapore.

          5. jesse.in.mb

            It is Singapore.

          6. Playa Manhattan

            Used to be part of Malaysia, Ted.

          7. AlexinCT

            Love that long time!

          8. Gustave Lytton
          9. Gustave Lytton

            Second one should be this

            https://youtu.be/lPmIZy5B7-Y

          10. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            Okay, you win that round. Chick is fine.

          11. Rhywun

            The dude is a younger version of an ex.

      6. Ayn Random Variation

        It’s envy and resentment and it seems to go back hundreds of years. The Jews were even blamed for the plague in the 1400s(?).

  24. wdalasio

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, The Best and the Brightest: 2019:

    Their “rapper” son, Malcolm, popped out of the family’s Fifth Avenue building to smoke a giant blunt — while defending his parents and bragging about his latest CD.

    “They’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion,” said Malcolm Abbott outside the home that overlooks the Metropolitan Museum of Art. “I believe everyone has a right to go to college, man.”

    Surely we should all pine for a world where we can benefit from the enlightened leadership of such giants.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      The existence of this guy explains a lot. You can see why the parents spent so much money to pretend that their daughter wasn’t a failure too.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Speaking of best and brightest….

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQJiZ9YwqxU

      Take a bow Minnesota.

      Omar isn’t interested in the truth. She interrupts more than Kennedy!

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is what happens when you don’t parent until age 16.

    4. Suthenboy

      This is the result of thinking that money is more important than competence

    5. Ayn Random Variation

      Don’t be hatin’

      https://youtu.be/clD_HL17t94

  25. Gustave Lytton

    Dangers of the ringside mat seats at sumo!

    I love the two little Japanese ladies extending their arms to protect themselves against a 400+lb rikishi.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Jack Dempsey reminds me of David on Schitt’s Creek for some reason.

    1. Akira

      Yea, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate the risk of getting a fat sweaty man ass in my face. I’d have to sit at least a couple rows back.

      Also, do we have any Chiyonofuji fans here?? I think he’s my fitness role model now. 280 pounds of mostly muscle.

  26. I never played the original Resident Evil 2, but I’ve been playing the remake. The base portion of the game does a great job at building atmosphere and handling the various puzzles, but the boss battles suck. They feel ripped from an entirely different game, ruining the entire tone and feel built up over the course of the exploration, survival and scavenging. I’ve reached the one where you’re supposed to swat the horribly mutated non-zombie guy off the platform with a crane holding a shipping container. Naturally, instead of getting him, I knocked Leon off instead and decided to take a break.

    1. Translation – I do poorly at the boss battles in this game.

      1. Rhywun

        I hate boss battles in general. It’s always “here’s this giant impossible roadblock in the game you were enjoying up until now”.

        1. When it builds on the mechanics of the rest of the game, it can work. When it’s a random and stark departure, it doesn’t.

          Of course, there are always exceptions both ways. But it’s harder to make it work if you deviate greatly.

          1. I want to say it was a few of the Assassin’s Creeds in a row now that “boss battles” are pretty much just the head honcho being somewhere and you being able to whack him however you want. I believe Far Cry is guilty of the opposite. IIRC, in one of the more recent ones I could see the boss character and was dropping rounds right in his dome from beyond aggro range, and eventually just had to walk up to trigger a cutscene so that I could engage in a gunfight entirely unlike the way I’d played the whole rest of the game.

          2. Figuring out how to get through the security around the target is, well, all the fun of an assassination mission.

            I’ve never fought a farcry boss, because something has always led me to ragequit before then.

          3. slumbrew

            I really enjoyed the first few FarCrys; 4 was really entertaining.

            I occasionally get the impulse to grab a PS4 & pick up the new version.

            There is nothing wrong with my PS3, but I just use it for the occasional BluRay now, especially since I recently got a TV with a built-in Roku (I used to use Plex on the PS3, but there’s a Plex client for the Roku).

            Still I’m tempted.

            Maybe I’ll carve some space out and install Windows on this iMac and just play it that way.

          4. Oh, I did finish FarCry 4.

            Took about fifteen minutes.

            Only FarCry game I reached the end of.

          5. slumbrew

            Oh, and I really loved the Uncharted series. That’d be reason to buy a PS4 alone, just to play the last one.

            I happened across some older, depressing interview where Amy Hennig talks about how Uncharted couldn’t be made today, since there’s no online tie-in to some bullshit in-game economy.

          6. Let the AAA houses die. Build more AA titles.

            The bloated companies got addicted to the microtransaction lucre and are riding it into the ground. If they don’t adapt, they’ll be replaced.

          7. Jarflax

            I still occasionally have dream of trying to kill that one boss in one of the early Zelda games who you had to bounce/ balance on his head while doing the downward attack. I really really hated that fight. I had cramps in my fingers and button shaped bruises before I finally killed him.

          8. The Legend of Zelda series is a set of games I never finished an installment of. For whatever reason, I sucked at them.

            I remember other titles in the same generation causing finger bruising from that controller design.

          9. Not Adahn

            Something young ‘uns will never understand:

            Passing information/rumors about where to bomb/burn/push because the consumer internet hasn’t been invented yet.

            Until Nintendo Power published that map.

          10. Jarflax

            Do you remember going room by room, screen by screen in Zelda planting bombs to look for secret doors? and attacking every single square of hedge for the same reason. I find that even though I absolutely did this, and also dug every square of one of the early Ultima games looking for something (I remember doing it, but not why), when I try to play something nostalgic my patience is no longer up to the task.

          11. I had to share the console with too many other people – I didn’t have the time to be thorough.

          12. Not Adahn

            And the first candle would only let you set two fires, making you exit the screen and come back to try again? That second candle was a godsend.

          13. Rhywun

            Most of them are extended battle scenes – my least favorite game activity. I like exploring, solving puzzles, minor battles – when that gets interrupted by a huge battle I suck at, it’s a major frustration.

          14. Jarflax

            Most of them are 25 minute or longer series of cutscenes punctuated by some 3 second to hit Q quicktime event. This is annoying to me since I don’t usually enjoy the cutscene and frequently want to get to a stopping place sometime in the middle of 25 minutes of non skippable cutscene.

          15. Oh, that reminds me.

            Since the only Resident Evil game I had played was 4, early on in 2, I kept expecting to be hit with the same types of QTEs that plagued 4. So far, that hasn’t happened, and apparnetly I’m on the penultimate area for the character’s story.

            On a related note, I almost didn’t finish RE4, because the fist major boss had a QTE to not die that required a key combination that was both A: impossibly difficult on a keyboard/mouse, and B: didn’t register too well. I ended up buying a controller just to finish the darn fight.

  27. Bob Boberson

    Got I to a long, wine-soaked argument with a friend last night. Arguing is no fun when you are constantly badgered to prove a negative.

    Him: “sanctions are a tool that totally work, prove to me that they don’t.” Goes on to dismiss every example because reasons. And the only reason NK is talking to us right now is sanctions. Nothing to do with a failed state that knows it can’t win, no sir, they’d be doing awesome if it wasn’t for sanctions.

    Long story short, arguing politics while drinking is rarely productive or fun.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      You wasted a perfectly good night.

      1. Bob Boberson

        Precisely

      2. creech

        Depends on whether the wine was Two Buck Chuck or Screaming Eagle.

        1. Spudalicious

          I consider both to be a waste of time.

    2. straffinrun

      Credit to Scott Adams for this: Make him choose his best case for “sanctions work” and argue that. If he can’t defend that one, the other ones are even weaker so he loses those. I chose the handle “straffinrun” because of the way so many people just drop multiple arguments and hope one sticks. Drove me nuts.

    3. Jarflax

      Sanctions actual, but unspoken, rationale is that by starving the people of despotic regime X, we hope to make things bad enough that they rebel. Unfortunately. despots are generally good at blaming the sanctions for the misery and keeping enough popular support to stave off rebellion. Sanctions are evil. I don’t care if they ‘work’ or not, making people more miserable to make them rise up and get shot doesn’t pass moral muster.

      1. slumbrew

        ^^^ This

        Sanctions never hurt those in charge.

      2. straffinrun

        Exactly. Another aspect is that the way the US employs sanctions is by forcing other countries to follow along. OK, the US deems it wrong to do business with a regime? Fine, but what if the US is wrong? It really is a bully tactic.

      3. Bob Boberson

        This was precisely my argument. The dude doesn’t argue in good faith and we always get into it when we drink. His a self professed “Bill Maher libertarian”. We should just leave it alone but the dude loves to argue and I end up taking the bate.

  28. Playa Manhattan

    The kids’ Purim party is coming up.

    Would it be inappropriate to go as Ilhan Omar? Free booze, and I just might be able to pull it off.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Do it.

      With Blackface.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        This is an Orthodox party, so….

        If I pull it off on a Saturday, at least it won’t make it to the internet.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I actually take solace in knowing other countries’ representatives are as stupid as ours-British MP proposes GPS tracking all knives:

      https://mobile.twitter.com/scottmann4NC/status/1106128906480951296

      That proposal makes AOC look smart.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Jesus, the second comment actually agrees with him

        1. But Enough About Me

          Yeah, but most of the comments are rightly taking the piss out of this idiot MP (but I repeat myself).

  29. Lackadaisical

    Six years of practice and both my crust and filling have improved.

    STEVE ALSO IMPROVE HIS FILLING WITH PRACTICE. BY PRACTICE MEAN…

    1. slumbrew

      Let’s not even get started on STEVE SMITH’S crust

  30. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Slowly, the worm turns….

    “Fired FBI agent Peter Strzok told Congress last year that the agency “did not have access” to Clinton Foundation emails that were on Hillary Clinton’s private server because of a consent agreement “negotiated between the Department of Justice attorneys and counsel for Clinton.””

    https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/peter-strzok-clinton-doj-struck-deal-that-blocked-fbi-access-to-clinton-foundation-emails-on-her-private-server

    1. Pan Zagloba

      What difference at this etc?

    2. Yeah, wasn’t the deal that they finally turned those particular emails over months after the fact, and only with strict rules regarding what could and couldn’t be read? I’m sure all of that is perfectly above board.

      1. leon

        Don’t be mad at Hillary that she was able to get her files ignored, while Trump has his lawyer raided.

        And no, certain individuals on this site, I don’t think Cohen was clean or that Trump can do no wrong. But I think it is clear that our government is run by self-important agents who don’t feel beholden to democratic principles. And that should worry us more than some bad man in the white house.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Or how the FBI negociates for access to evidence, while serving no knock arrest warrants (including tip-off to the media)?

        2. Homple

          Yep, Trump will be gone sooner or later but the apparatchik class is in place permanently.

    3. kbolino

      What did the Justice Department have to gain such that it would enter into a “consent agreement” with Clinton or any of her associates? An agreement where one side gets everything they want and the other gets nothing isn’t “negotiated” at all.

      1. Spudalicious

        President Hillary?

    4. Chafed

      Let’s name names. He needs to say who in DOJ negotiated that arrangement.

      1. Suthenboy

        It was ‘negotiated’ on an airport tarmac. Do the math.

        1. dbleagle

          The DNC has never turned over to the FBI their computers/servers that were compromised. One would think if the Russians actually hacked the devices then the DNC would be happy, nay proud, to aid the law enforcement efforts to prove to the Nation and World that Putin and his henchman were behind the “most prepared candidate ever” losing.

          On the other hand if- as reports in the NYT and WP during 2016, and as President Obama stated on TV in October that it was impossible for the election to be hacked- are correct then the alternate explanation proffered might be correct. That a DNC insider upset at the fix being in provided Wikileaks the info. We already know that Podesta was spearphished and that could have been anybody.

          Also I would like to sign up for the “I prefer not to” option when dealing with the FBI.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Find the most gullible, attention seeking, under educated, and energetic idiots around and motivate them with feelings of self importance and free shit.

    2. straffinrun

      Thousands of students worldwide are expected to walk out of class for the Friday protest, much as U.S. children and teens did last year for the National School Walkout on gun control

      Pattern emerges.

      1. leon

        I could get kids to walk out of school for anything.

        1. Jarflax

          OMWC will subscribe to your newsletter.

      2. Jarflax

        Meh, not like they were learning anything true in school. By all means go on strike.

        1. straffinrun

          It’s not a strike. In theory they are receiving a valuable service (I know, I know) and not trading labor for pay. Boycott is more accurate.

    3. Rhywun

      This Cultural Revolution is getting tedious. I wish they would get it over with already.

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, no kidding.

  31. slumbrew

    From the “I was not expecting that” files:

    George R.R. Martin Cuts Into Giants Over Odell Beckham Trade

    I would have wagered he’d be a sneering “sportzball” douche. I stand corrected and like him a little more.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      He’ll do anything to get out of finishing up GoT.

    2. leon

      Does he not like the touch-basckets the sportsball captain can make?

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Oh god no, he roots for both Jets and Giants, he’s put in NFL references in the Game of Thrones books (fuck your “A Song of Ice and Fire”, “Game of Thrones” is why people read it) and book fans hoping to catch any glimmer of updates on the books have learned to not visit his journal when season is on, because his beloved teams usually get trashed by Evil Wicked Ones and he gets all sad.

      Disclaimer: I didn’t like the first book so I stopped reading, but the meta-narrative of his fans’ desperation, suffering and forlorn hope is way better than anything he plotted.

      1. slumbrew

        I haven’t read a single book. I’ll watch the final season on HBO, since I’m a completionist, but I’m not sure I’ll ever pick up the books at this point.

        1. Bob Boberson

          Do yourself a favor and save yourself many valuable hours of life. IMO it starts out strong but every book gets worse as the volumes progress. By the 4th book you just wanna punch GRRM in the nuts repeatedly.

          1. Rhywun

            That’s about where I stopped. And that was *ahem* before HBO & it became the new Harry Potter. There are better constructed high-fantasy epics out there.

          2. What’re your recommendations?

          3. Rhywun

            Oof. That’s too hard for me to answer – it’s not really my wheelhouse. I could give a couple examples of things I liked (say, the Shannara books) but I’m no authority on the genre.

            I will say that I like focus and stories that wrap up. Two things that GRRM seems allergic to.

          4. Pan Zagloba

            One of the reasons I rolled my eyes is because Guy Gavriel Kay’s Lions of al-Rassan did the “history but with a twist in low-ish fantasy setting, with lots of politicking and good people divided by loyalties, and also medieval warfare sucks for people” thing better, and wrapped it up in one fucking book. And it noticed that religion is kinda big deal for the time period right off the bat.

          5. slumbrew

            It’s been quite a while since I read high-fantasy, but I recall really enjoying The Belgariad quite a lot.

            Caveats: I was much younger, so I may have been more taken with the basic “hero with a hidden destiny” storyline than I would be today. I also want to say it’s a bit YA, but I’m not certain that’s true.

          6. slumbrew

            That’s more or less the arc I went through with Wheel Of Time.

          7. Spudalicious

            I am glad I made it all the way through. I think Brandon Sanderson gave it a satisfactory ending. The books in the middle were mind numbing. “I think the third best wine”. STFU and DO something!!!

          8. slumbrew

            I’d be interested in a fan-edit of WOT, a’la The Phantom Edit.

          9. Jarflax

            Me too, and every few years I think “hmm I’m bored, nothing looks interesting I kind of liked WoT, maybe I’ll, … No!”

          10. mikey

            Usually I’ll put a book down and just not go back. With WoT somewhere in the middle of book 4 or 5 I said “fuck this shit I can’t take anymore ” and slammed the book shut.

          11. Spudalicious

            ^^^This^^^

        2. creech

          Bought GOT Book 1 in bargain bin yesterday. Couldn’t get past page 27. Tossed it back in the bin today. Is the HBO series worth watching in spite of the book?

          1. I dropped it when I realized I didn’t like anyone, nor did I want to keep seeing them.

          2. slumbrew

            I hit that point with The Walking Dead and, more recently, Westworld.

            Also, Better Call Saul. I didn’t care about any character but Mike and they didn’t spend that much time on him. Saul/Jimmy is just an annoying character.

          3. Rhywun

            I enjoyed season 1. Lost interest after that.

          4. Pan Zagloba

            I couldn’t be arsed with the books, knew the plot going in and have still enjoyed the show Seasons 1-4 I borrowed from a friend. I just also couldn’t be arsed to go out and acquire more.

    4. Beckham would have been savaged for his antics had he played for the Jets.

      1. Jarflax

        As someone who long ago gave up on loving football and now hate watches teams enjoying their misery, this trade strikes me as a win win. The Browns cap a year where they showed signs of life by adding a classic locker room cancer wide out, G.R.R. Martin is sad, and the Giants are dismantling their team.

    5. Rhywun

      He’s a Giants and Jets fan? That seems odd.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        different sport but same town: weirdest combo ever = Giants and Dodgers fan

  32. Not Adahn

    Brexit explained

    TW: person who sounds much smarter than he actually is.

    1. My explanation:

      People voted to leave the EU. The elite political class rejected this as rantings of deplorables. Popular vote will now be undermined.

      1. Sean

        Sounds familiar…

        1. Rhywun

          If only we had a supra-national organization of our own to appeal to, for help out of our long national nightmare.

  33. slumbrew

    And from the “Get The Fuck Out Of Here With That Nonsense” file:

    Don’t Be Shocked If Blake Bortles, Yes That Blake Bortles, Is Tom Brady’s Backup

    1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      I have to admit, it would be humorous if Brady has to be replaced by Bortles and the Pats go on to win the Super Bowl. Would Brady still be the greatest, or we he just be as good as Bortles?

      1. slumbrew

        Bortles would have to win 5 more Super Bowls after that then, yes, they’d be equal. I’d be fine with watching that happen.

    1. Jarflax

      How did Swiss’ foe get the multilink powerup?

      1. Everyone can now make two links in a post before the filter moderates it.

        You can too if you want.

        1. Jarflax

          Was that in the patch notes? Did they nerf rouges?

          1. They also buffed beiges.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            DEV TRACKER: You all can playtest puce on the beta server.

          3. Shame that they paywalled teal.

    2. Spudalicious

      6 could have a butter face. I still want her.

      1. Chafed

        How dare you talk that way about my wife!

        1. Spudalicious

          If that’s your wife and you’re on the internet, you’re doing it wrong.

    3. SandMan

      Normally not a fan of tatts, but the pistol on #1’s finger is forgivable!

  34. ♪♫♬ Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she won-der-ful?♪♫♬

    https://theothermccain.com/2019/03/10/bad-sex-advice/

    1. Jarflax

      Frigid, psycho with herpes, and yet I would.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Not even with STEVES dick. No way she’s worth it.

      2. Tejicano

        What part of “don’t stick it in crazy ” don’t you get? This one is outright telling the world that she’s on antidepressants, and has been institutionalized before. I don’t see any reason to sit close to this one.

    1. Jarflax

      At least we still have Lou Reed.

    2. straffinrun

      After seeing how the media and prosecutors screwed up the Holtzclaw case*, I’m gonna wait a little longer on this one. Distrust of media and cops cuts both ways even when they are investigating one of their own.

      *Not saying he wasn’t guilty, just that the prosecutors did some shady shit.

  35. Tundra

    mikey, are you out there?

    Damn are these beautiful cars.

    1. Sean

      Looks like a smiley face
      ?

      1. Tundra

        It should.

        mikey has a gorgeous one he is restoring. Way nicer than this one.

        1. mikey

          Warming up enough I can get back to working on it.
          IMHO mine is nicer. That’s the first year of convertible – fold down top and roll down windows. Convenient but the top and windows don’t disappear and the lines of the car are diminished. Mine is the last roadster side curtains and the top disassembled and removed. A pain but it looks much better I think.
          Convertible. https://goo.gl/images/E5pRcM
          Roadster. https://goo.gl/images/okcF81

          Big Healey club meet in the black hills in September hope to drive it there.

  36. BAM

    Got my AMD APU working with Tensorflow! BLAMMO!

    This calls for bonus tits.

    http://archive.is/wG5Mc

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Speaking of machine learning, they need to do this, but with porn.

      1. Chafed

        I’m sure the Pornhub Research Lab is on it.

      2. Rhywun

        Freaky.

    2. Spudalicious

      3 looks like Alyssa Milano. 38 has some weird shit going on.

    3. Chafed

      That should satisfy Spucilicious’ Demi Rose needs.

      1. Spudalicious

        Wrong tuber.

        1. Chafed

          Sorry. Am I thinking of Count Potato?

          1. Spudalicious

            Yeah. That guy has zero taste in women.

  37. Tundra

    I’ve been traveling all week. Anyone seen Doom?

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      I asked yesterday and got no update

      1. Tundra

        Thanks. I can dm him through DriveTribe. I’ll try that.

    2. Brett L

      I tried emailing him after his oh shit post. Never heard back. I hope he’s okay.

      1. Tundra

        Thanks. I sent him a note. Will report back if I hear anything.

        Fuck you guys. I don’t spend this much effort on family!

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Wait, what?

        1. Tundra

          Doom got a new gig in TX. Rented a place, showed up with his gf, dog and stuff and the apartment was a war zone. Landlady has all his money, so he was asking bout how he could get his money back so he get a different place. Sounded kind of grim.

          He’s been MIA since.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I see. I got fucked over like that once in Bangkok.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            Someone in this subthread needs to have gotten out of their financial trouble via prostitution.

          3. Rhywun

            Not it.

          4. jesse.in.mb

            Not it.

            Your quick response makes me think there’s a story there.

          5. Tundra

            HM, however, solved his problem with opium and gun-running.

          6. jesse.in.mb

            HM, however, solved his problem with opium and gun-running.

            Pimpin even though it ain’t easy.

          7. Jarflax

            Pimpin even though it ain’t easy.

            In Bangkok?

          8. Tundra

            In Bangkok?

            It’s quite humid.

          9. Rhywun

            I heard the world’s your oyster there.

          10. Suthenboy

            Too much competition. It is a vicious market.

          11. slumbrew

            I heard the world’s your oyster there.

            Whaddya mean?
            Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town…

          12. Heroic Mulatto

            @Suthen

            Actually, it’s a Royal Thai Police controlled monopoly.

  38. Timeloose

    Shit. One of my favorite music venues is closing. https://www.philly.com/entertainment/the-trocadero-theatre-troc-closing-philadelphia-20190314.html

    I saw too many shows to remember them all at this place and one I’ll never forget.

    I met my wife there in 2002.

    1. Rhywun

      Future site of condos?

      Yeah, a lot of venues like that are disappearing in NYC too. It’s too expensive to operate anything other than condos any more.

      1. Timeloose

        It’s in the middle of Chinatown but the areas around it have gentrified quite a bit.

        You used to go get great Chinese food, hoist a few beers, then see a great show for 10-30 bucks.

        It really was a great old place. One of those old vaudeville theaters with a great view of the stage anywhere.

        1. Spudalicious

          I hate Gentry’s. They screw everything up.

          1. CPRM

            I especially hate that one in Montgomery.

        2. Timeloose

          I don’t think gentrification is the cause here, but who knows.

  39. straffinrun

    But I need muh fix. *scratches upper forearm*

    https://twitter.com/NZPCanterbury/status/1105889975713718273

    1. Timeloose

      The cops in NZ have a good sense of humor at least.

      1. straffinrun

        I’m guessing that there’s one guy that is responsible for the page and he’s not a raging asshole. I’ll take it.

  40. juris imprudent

    Something seems to be missing. This place has gone to hell since SP got otherwise occupied.

    1. Jarflax

      I heard thee was an evening post that clearly explained the secrets to total mental discipline, prediction of future stock prices, and immortality. Unfortunately STEVE SMITH and KIN raped it and it ran away scared never to be seen again.

      1. leon

        STEVE SMITH is a member of the illuminati?

        1. Spudalicious

          Enforcement arm. AND BY ENFORCE MEAN…

          1. Jarflax

            I think STEVE is more a Discordian type.

          2. Spudalicious

            Exactly what the Illuminati would want you to think.

          3. Jarflax

            Hmm, was Harry Coin actually STEVE SMITH?

          4. Spudalicious

            Minus the fur.

    1. CPRM

      There’s an art to it? Also, do we need to bring back shit sponges on a stick?

    2. Rhywun

      Bless their hearts.

    3. jesse.in.mb

      What’s not to like about it? I miss cheap and convenient jimjilbang.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      I see they men

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Goddam pos keyboard. Stupid return and click box key next to each other dammit it all to hell.

        1. CPRM

          I actually liked that response. Made me think of the ‘totally not racist because black people do it’ sassy black woman.

          “I see they men. Girlfriend, let me tell you…!”

      2. Rhywun

        It’s raining men.

    5. Pan Zagloba

      The generation raised on anime is now coming to the fore.

    6. Tejicano

      Because seeing grossly overweight people with their clothes ON isn’t disturbing enough?

  41. Michael

    Fucking hell. This week has taken a swift turn downward for me and a ton of other people.

    http://www.thrashermagazine.com/articles/rip-in-peace-jake-phelps/

    1. Tundra

      Here’s another thing. Jake never bailed. Jake fucking slammed. And there is a big difference. He only knew commitment.

      I’d rest easy if someone wrote that about me. RIP.

    2. Francisco d’Anconia

      Not my scene. Never heard of him. But if that’s true, I’ll raise a glass.

      I respect the passionate.

    3. Michael

      “Phelps was the sort of guy who, in his mid-50s, would bomb Dolores in the middle of the night and film it. You’d wake up to find this insane shit on your phone.”

      https://twitter.com/willystaley/status/1106376073439268866

      …and…

      “On this video, you can hear him counting to exactly 32 before he goes. He knew the lights that well, I guess. That sort of exacting approach to lunacy was what made him who he was. He wasn’t perfect, not even close, but he was really, really special.”

      https://twitter.com/willystaley/status/1106376650294546433

  42. CPRM

    I haz sad politics has seeped into mah comic book movies. No review I’ve seen yet of Captain Marvel has been able to refrain from the politics angle. Sad.

    1. Chafed

      I have not seen it. The star openly injected SJW nonsense into the publicity tour. So it’s unsurprising people are looking for the politics of the film.

      1. CPRM

        But that doesn’t mean we have to sink to that level. Plenty of other things to criticize the movie for. The faults of the movie weren’t politics, but story telling, you know what movies are supposed to do. Even so, it was still better than a lot of the dreck. Marvel is good at doing that, making movies that are ‘meh’ to keep you interested for the tentpoles…tentpole, that sounds so much more sexist in 2019 than when the MCU…

        1. Chafed

          CPRM you can’t be surprised when the star pointedly brings up politics that politics become part of the review. With the arguable exception of Black Panther, I don’t think it has happened with any other MCU movie.

          1. CPRM

            Meh, I never paid attention to Christian Bale’s shit when he was Batman, not about to give shit now.

  43. CPRM

    My water isn’t working. Dagummit, I’m guessing my basement is either flooded or frozen. Knowing my luck it’s both. Fuck everything.

    1. Michael

      Damn, man. Here’s hoping it’s neither of those things and instead something stupid and easily rectified.

      1. CPRM

        It’s one or the other, my water pump is in the basement, and it’s too warm to be a pipe freeze.

      2. CPRM

        My basement entrance is outside an unlit, so I’ll let it slide until tomorrow.

    1. CPRM

      No responses? Ok, don’t day I never gave you nothing. /passes out.

    1. Michael

      Wow, that is an insanely creepy fantasy. He really should find a qualified professional to talk to about it.

    2. Tejicano

      Just about the only thing mass shooters seem to have in common is the decision to pull the trigger on a bunch of people. Their motivations seem to be completely random – each having their own special flavor of crazy infecting their brain.

      No idea where this fool thinks that, all of the sudden, ranks of them will start to see his kind as the people to target.

    3. The only Asians likely to get shot are Muslims, as in Christchurch.

  44. PieInTheSky

    The Magnolia at my window is starting to bloom. Hopefully no more cold. Good morning glibs

    1. Chafed

      Pie do you ever sleep?

      1. slumbrew

        Vampire, duh

        1. Chafed

          That’s right. Thanks for the reminder.

      2. PieInTheSky

        Yes. From 22 30 to 6 00 usually

    1. Not an Economist

      This sucks. Anti-Muslim terror attack in Christchurch, NZ.

      49 dead so far. 4 people in custody.

      Brace for more anti-gun rhetoric and calls for gun control.

      1. Not an Economist

        Sorry meant to be a new comment.

        And the killer may have livestreamed the massacre.

        1. Not an Economist

          People recorded the livestream and you can watch it online.

          The manifesto was racist (anti-immigrant) and had Trump as a good guy for white supremacists.

          1. From what I’ve seen in brief, it’s basically a complete shitpost/meme compendium with no rational connection to anything (ie. the videogame references and Candace Owens, etc).

            Not that unlike the Breivik scenario a few years back – although I think B was a little more rational.

          2. leon

            Sounds like a whackado. Did he get killed or was he captured?

      2. leon

        I’m glad I work remotely. I had friends at my last job, but talking politics (esp. Gun Control) was not exactly off the table, because everyone assumed you thought the same way as them. I floored my IT department when ever I told them I was against Net-Neutrality.

  45. leon

    I don’t really want to get political about a tragedy, I just want to say that the people who look down their nose at people for truely and compassionately issuing “thoughts and prayers” are being disengenuos. No one can do anything to change the past. And proposed gun laws are also useless at stoping terror attacks.

    But I do get being frustrated with people trying to message solidarity over social media. I think it’s the projecting righteousness, when you should be content with no one knowing.

    1. Akira

      I don’t really want to get political about a tragedy

      Me neither, but…
      “This kind of thing doesn’t happen in other countries.” – Barack Obama