BAH!! KILL IT!! KILL THE LIGHT RAIL!!

One Sunday afternoon I received a call from an unknown number.  It was a local number so I answered it, as many of scam calls come from a 323 area code (CA).  I probably shouldn’t have done that, because the lady on the other line wanted to convince me to vote against Prop 105. Is this a local issue?  Yes, but quite frankly I have a platform for free speech and damnit, I’m going to use it….

This is my review of Four Peaks Golden Lager…a refreshingly local Pilsner.

What does this ballot measure entail?  The City of Phoenix is asking residents to allocate, or not allocate funds to extend the Phoenix light rail.  The actual proposition is below:

What would Proposition 105 do?

Proposition 105 would prohibit the city from spending money on development, construction, expansion, or improvement of light rail transit, with an exception for PHX Sky Train. It would allocate any revenue from the city’s 0.7% transportation sales tax that was previously allocated toward light rail development to other city infrastructure. The initiative would earmark any revenue allocated to light rail development along Central Avenue south of Washington Street specifically for infrastructure in South Phoenix. This would include the South Central Extension project. Proposition 105’s provisions reallocating revenue would apply to any collected, unspent revenue as well as future revenue.

Proposition 105 would also add within the city charter provisions authorizing the Phoenix Citizens Transportation Committee—which is currently established through city code. The initiative would guarantee a $25,000 annual budget for the committee and task the committee with soliciting feedback from the public and advising the city council on how to spend funds reallocated by Proposition 105.

It appears to be intentionally confusing to the average voter reading at a 4th grade level since voting “Yes” means you DO NOT want the light rail projects to continue.  Now, Forbes did a piece on the Phoenix Light Rail project that puts a lot of the ridership numbers in perspective and they make the case it was not a particularly good investment.  Granted, this was nearly a decade ago.  The light rail, (Valley Metro) and the local media have claimed the light rail since it was opened has already created $11 billion in development.  A local free market think-tank however published an analysis that disputes this claim.  Of the 344 construction projects built within 1/2 mile, cited by Valley Metro, 177 were either government subsidized, government buildings, or part of expansions/renovations at Arizona State University.  17 are also located more than 1/2 mile away (honest mistake?) from a light rail station and 2 of the cited projects were built before the light rail.

One of the most absurd projects on Valley Metro’s list is a 2,000-space parking garage for air travelers. The garage happens to be next to a light-rail station, so Valley Metro includes it on the list. Yet this station is the closest light rail comes to Sky Harbor Airport, so no one using the parking garage would ever use the light rail to get between the garage and the airport. Many other projects on the list similarly have nothing to do with transit.

Why would nobody use the light rail in this case?  Sky Harbor International Airport has its own rail (Sky Harbor SkyTrain) to ferry passengers between parking structures, the terminals, and the rental car complex.  The report also goes on to say there is no reason any of the other projects could be built elsewhere.  The only effect the light rail has, is in relocating where (government subsidized) businesses owners choose to open up shop.  They were going to open regardless of the rail.

Yes, the local paper and others did make sure everybody knows this is just another Koch-funded scheme, even though the think-tank or the group initiating the ballot measure denied they received funding from them for this proposition.  The ties between the think-tank and the Koch brothers is from a disclosure of a single donation dating to 2017.  The propositions were started from a group of business owners in South Phoenix that opposed an expansion due to access to their businesses.

Not my photo of 43rd St and Washington.

This is a concern anybody in Phoenix can see for themselves if they ever go to a sporting event downtown.  Washington and Jefferson streets run east/west through downtown and are both one way; Chase Field, Talking Stick Arena, the convention center, and other cultural locations are located along these streets. Many of the buildings between Washington/Jefferson Street, part of an existing light rail run, are closed down primarily because they cannot be accessed by car, because you can only drive one way and access the building by crossing the light rail.  Many are also too far to walk to if you take the light rail.  The proponents of the light rail consistently argue the riders are put in a better position to make Phoenix a walking city, theoretically making Washington and Jefferson streets less congested.  Never mind the light rail effectively takes up two lanes on both streets. Finally, the high today is forecast at 109 and will likely be warmer than at noon today because of the ambient heat reflecting off both the street and the buildings.  Nobody walks anywhere in Phoenix–care to guess why?

By the way, South Phoenix is the part of town where low to middle income families live.  They say the proposed path will inhibit local businesses ability to stay in business will therefore affect low to middle income residents. These are NOT people that own the monocle factory, who can easily relocate their business to another part of town.

Naturally opponents of the ballot measures are citing a positive economic and environmental impact.  Others argue the areas now pushing against the expansion were not well represented in the vote for the planned expansion due to supposed voter suppression.  Which is an odd argument for them to make because the measure passed in 2015, an off-cycle election when measures are deliberately voted on because turnout is often low.

I plan to vote yes, if you are registered to vote in Phoenix, consider voting yes if at all.

Is this another one if those drinkable craft lager/ale things that are mass produced and sold next to other yellow beers?  Not hardly. This threads the needle between a serious Czech-style Pilsner and something non-threatening for your non-beer drinker friends gathering for a sporting event.  They even put it out seasonally.  If you are in the local area, I recommend it.  Four Peaks Golden Lager 3.5/5

 

Comments

276 responses to “BAH!! KILL IT!! KILL THE LIGHT RAIL!!”

  1. AlmightyJB

    I had this on draft last night. I really liked it.

    https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/259/1708/

    1. AlmightyJB

      I also had this on draft as well. Also, quite good although I preferred the Great Lakes Oktoberfest which was my third and last non-Miller Lite of the evening.

      https://hiwirebrewing.com/seasonals/zirkusfest-octoberfest/

    2. Spudalicious

      St. Bernardus rocks.

      1. hayeksplosives

        No argument here.

        1. dbleagle

          I have arrived in Germany on a business trip and am about to go out for dinner. No idea of what food I’ll have, but I do know I’ll be enjoying some delicious bier!

          1. AlmightyJB

            Rahmschnitzel and spaetzle!

    3. Playa Manhattan

      My beer guy sold me Reno as Fuck..

      It was pretty good, but I’m probably not going to be able to find it again.

    4. Lackadaisical

      Damn,

      I almost bought a bottle or six, wish I’d known it was so well regarded, the goofy label put me off trying it.

  2. Playa Manhattan

    I heard a rumor that one of our very own Glibs took a train yesterday.

    SHAME SHAME SHAME!

    SHAME!

    1. AlmightyJB

      Engine or Caboose?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Dinning car. He got the lady cut of prime rib.

        SHAME!

        1. Florida Man

          They are supposed to be building a bullet train in Florida. If it has a bar car, I’m game.

        2. Old Man With Candy

          He also got a slut-smooch on the top of his shiny pate.

          1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

            Go on….

    2. straffinrun

      I took many. And they were on time.

      1. Sensei

        NJTransit – never on time…

      2. Sensei

        OTH – I had to meet my friend at Tokyo station and I successfully found the right exit. I felt like a hero!

        I’ve managed deal with the rabbit warren that is Penn Station, but that is a walk in the park compared to that station.

        1. straffinrun

          Tokyo station is a maze, but it’s no where near the maze that Shinjuku is. I still get lost there even though I’ve been using it 20 years.

          1. Sensei

            Ask somebody there where to find the “new inn”. It’s gotta be around there somewhere.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Paging Switzy…

  3. R C Dean

    Sorry to OT so quick, Mex, but I’m still in fly-by mode.

    What fresh Hell is this?

    1. Florida Man

      Is that you biting that dog?

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Hot cheese fries. Excellent munchies.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      Besides you’re not local, so you need not care.

    4. Some one cheaped out on display stands, all too common.

    5. AlmightyJB

      Better than pumpkin spice spam?

      1. Lackadaisical

        I started seeing pumpkin beers already.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I haven’t yet but am seeing Oktoberfest beers.

  4. R C Dean

    Alright, one more. This was actually in a real email that I just got:

    I’m also reviewing to see that we have a good diarrhea decision tree

    This place can be fun to work in.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      1. Stay near indoor plumbing
      2. Extra paper goods on hand
      3. ????
      4. PROFIT!

      1. Florida Man

        No kefir in your decision tree? I am disapoint.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          That’s a completely different business model: avoid diarrhea.

          1. Tundra

            I’ve been drinking my Lifeway every morning. My gut es gut!

            By the way, the plain is nowhere near as bad as you guys made it out to be.

          2. Florida Man

            I never said it was bad, I said it taste like sour cream.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Ewwwww

            Are you mixing it with anything?

          4. Tundra

            Nope. Started with the blueberry one, but decided the extra sugar is unnecessary.

            8 oz a day isn’t exactly taxing.

            But thanks for the recommendation!

          5. Florida Man

            I did it for a month, but didn’t see any benefit, so I gave it up. Now I spend those calories on bacon.

          6. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

            FM—almost the same with me. I saw a bit of ‘change’, but not enough to continue after about a month.

            I’ve been drinking Siggi Icelandic yogurt, which seems to be almost identical. That has been a bit better, but far fewer taste options.

            In fact, I think my day’s dose is ready now.

          7. Playa Manhattan

            FM, were you having digestive issues before you starting drinking it?

            It can’t fix you if there was nothing wrong in the first place.

  5. Suthenboy

    What the hell people? 20 minutes in and no one has made a ‘You know who else’ joke?

    Lefties sure do love them some Choo-choos. Nothing else presents so many opportunities for graft on that scale.

    1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

      Don’t forget that it’s a great travel equalizer: no luxury cars, no ‘Lexus Lanes’, no land yachts/Hummers(!)/gas guzzlers…you can kill a lot of envy by forcing others to take a light rail.

      Of course, something like the Orient Express is right out. Why, it’s practically a rolling. Racial slur!

      1. Suthenboy

        By travel equalizer you mean a huge defeat for individual autonomy?

        1. Tundra

          Bah, freedom is for Nazis.

          1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

            What Tundra said. Can’t have people doing their own things…others will feel left out, envious, looked-down-on…all those negative things associated with inequality.

            Much, much better that everyone be miserable equally.

        2. Suthenboy

          I put ’em right over the plate all of the time….or maybe I am like that pitcher Charlie Sheen played with the bad eyesight…I don’t know which it is.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        What is a Lexus Lane?

        Asking for a friend.

        1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

          Toll lane for 2+Occupants that people can just pay to be in w/o being a “2+” vehicle .

          Didn’t you know there’s a pejorative term for it, since not everyone has the ‘luxury’ of being able to afford that?

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Oh…. In CA, that’s the Prius/Tesla lane.

            If you can afford a hybrid/electric , you get a sticker that lets you jump in the carpool lane while all of the poors are stuck in traffic next to you.

          2. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

            Sounds like a Lefty Lexus Lane, or, LLL.

            Dems sure do love them some repetitive initialing.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            More like fastrak, 241 91 pay to play

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            We have that here too. AZ gets a lot of silly ideas from CA, unfortunately.

      3. hayeksplosives

        Even Amtrak has rooms and roomettes at a higher price than coach, and the attendants do a fine job of keeping the commoners from passing through to those private cars.

        But yeah, no more luxurious mahogany cabinets and trim. It’s all plastic and carpet, like a plane.

        1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

          In the spirit of those cabinets: https://youtu.be/Hzx8KHjQD6c

          /I know how he feels—I, too, love leather-bound books.

        2. Chafed

          The 3 meter club doesn’t sound exciting.

          1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

            Oh, I dunno…

    2. dbleagle

      Major road building has some great opportunities large scale graft but rail has great promise for graft for sure.

      Hawaii is putting in rail. The project is years behind schedule and was to cost less than $5B. It is already north of $8B, not half way completed and the most expensive part is still ahead. Plus the Trump Administration is threatening to claw back every Fed dollar if the project doesn’t get constructed to the original plan. The project is already the most expensive light rail project in the world ever when looking at a per capita cost. (There are only ~400,000 taxpayers on Oahu.)

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I’d love to take the train to Maui.

        1. Sir Digby: Fake Purse Ninja

          +1 “Hunnel”

    3. Lackadaisical

      Nothing else presents so many opportunities for graft on that scale.

      Or controlling the movements of the people.

    1. straffinrun

      And the Dayton shooter doesn’t have a hyperlink, but the El Paso shooter does. Who falls for this shit?

      1. AlmightyJB

        I noticed all the stories about Portland are about the “Far Right” demonstrations and “the protestors”.

        1. straffinrun

          CNN told me that people protesting fascism are always the good guys.

      2. Suthenboy

        They are preaching to the choir which is a loud but insubstantial minority. They know this which is why most lefty publications have taken down their comment sections. They got tired of being called on their bullshit. Propaganda is not supposed to be questioned or mocked.

        Yes, they are trying to memory hole the Dayton shooter.

        The whole Miley struck a death blow to the patriarchy premise is laughable.

        1. Count Potato

          Yes, shocking how a woman with $200M can get by without a man.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Also, Elizabeth Smart’s dad is gay and Colin Kaepernick’s girlfriend is mad at JayZ.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s pathetic.

      Just pathetic.

    4. Count Potato

      “This is a far cry from the type of freedom espoused by those on the right, for whom freedom, as I wrote in an earlier article on how misogyny is the driver of mass shootings in America, is conflated with domination. In this context, freedom is actually possessed by a select few, as it is dependent upon the oppression — rather than the liberation — of disempowered people, particularly women and minorities.”

      OFFS!!

      1. Projection at its lamest

        1. Progjection*

          Fackin autocorrect

  6. Tundra

    Don’t do it, Phoenix. There are already plenty of places for homeless dudes to crash.

    I was chatting with a brewer last weekend and he told me that lagers are more time consuming and often more difficult to make right. I was asking why there are so few local pilsners. They are a tasty beer.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      I imagine it is cost/value issue for them if they cannot make it in high volume.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Vote yes on MS, good reportage, sir!
        Four peaks is a great brewery, hopknot?
        Yes…..

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          You can have ALL the Hopknot you want…

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            You know me,

  7. Fourscore

    Mpls/St Paul has light rails/buses/transits. Since I would never live there again and never even rode a bus when I did live there I only know what the locals tell me. The metro boys will be along to explain what a boon it is to the TC. It certainly didn’t improve the esthetics of University Ave in St Paul but the businesses went from Asian to Middle Eastern along that corridor.

    Never understood what the differences between light rail and street cars, circa 1950 were. Reinventing history

    1. Tundra

      They are stupidity on a grand scale. They are largely empty, don’t come close to paying for themselves and, as you say, are a fucking blight. And now they want to run one out to the western suburbs, an area already served efficiently by city-owned transit. So. Bloody. Stupid.

      The only time I ever ride is the shuttle between terminals at MSP. I hate trains.

      1. Tundra

        Although songs about trains are OK.

          1. straffinrun

            That last one should be the intro to the next dem debates.

          2. Grummun

            Seriously, all those and you miss this one?

          1. DrOtto

            Jeebus, I have that CD. I’ll show myself out.

          2. Gender Traitor

            I’ll see that & raise you one best damn train song ever written, sung by the guy what really wrote it.

          3. Tundra

            I used to be afraid to click your links, but I now I can’t wait.

            Because like any artist at the top of his/her/xe game, you are the absolute master of your domain.

            May God have mercy on your soul.

          4. Gender Traitor

            Please allow me to restore your fear.

          5. Tundra

            Yikes!

            Although I certainly found her attractive.

            So did Prince…

          6. Nations go to war over women like her,
            It’s just a form of appreciation.

          7. You’re jealous of that hair, aren’t you?

          8. Tundra

            Ted, at this point in my life, I’m jealous of any hair!

          9. straffinrun

            That’s gotta be the first time Rod Steward has been linked here. Hopefully, it’ll be the last.

          10. [takes notes on what to post to make straff recoil in horror]

          11. Even Rod can’t ruin a Tom Waits song. I’d prefer the original but I’ll take the popped up version over most of the crap posted here.

          12. Gender Traitor

            Ooh! I just thought of another train song!

      2. hayeksplosives

        It was great for going from Fridley to theTwins stadium, but that was it.

        1. Tundra

          Uber, baby! Drops you off at Brothers for the pre-game and you don’t have to mix with the common folk!

          How you doin’?

          1. hayeksplosives

            Better! Back is still pretty painful but it is definitely moving in the right direction. Had an almost full work week.

          2. hayeksplosives

            I enjoyed being with the common folk for game days because everyone is wearing their fan gear and packed in, sharing in the building excitement.

            More than once we encountered groups of handicapped children and adults out with chaperones to tear them to a game, and everyone was kind and accommodating. Nice to be reminded that a lot of decent people remain out there.

            I did always Uber back though.

          3. hayeksplosives

            “Treat them to a game “

          4. AlmightyJB

            The last time I was on public transportation, I had dropped my car off for wiring work and took a bus downtown to hang out while it was being worked on. I wore my sunglasses on the bus to avoid eye contact which turned out to be a good decision. This was pre-uber.

    2. 0x90

      I’ll say, mass transit in a place like madrid works great, but only because it’s pervasive — similar to new york, the whole place is criss-crossed with tunnels. You can live 30 miles out of the city, and with the trains, buses, and metro, you can get by pretty much just fine, with no car at all.

      However, to look at that, and say “oh hey, see we just need to put in a couple of trains and things will be magically awesome” is just hare-brained. These things have been built up over a hundred years or more, and unless you’re willing to contemplate doing something on that scale, I say you’d be better not to start.

      Another factor is culture; these things work (and already exist) in places where people have been living in close quarters for centuries — not so sure they will work well in places where people see it as something to have *in addition to* their individual, on-demand personal transportation, and where people aspire to get out of the city, to the burbs.

      But well, I guess that’s where indoctrination comes in .. must convince people “urban sprawl” is bad, so we can keep the power base concentrated.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Totally agree. Mass transit works well in old cities that evolved tight packed together where lots of shopping and errands can be done in walking distance of a subway station, and where the trains run often enough to give people options.

        I’m Stockholm I didn’t need a car. That doesn’t mean that taxing the US like Sweden does will magically restructure all our cities.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    I’d love to take the train to Maui.

    Talk to Elon Musk.

    1. Suthenboy

      Playa is being impatient. If just waits a little while he will get his chance.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        It’s a shovel-ready project, except for all of the basalt.

        1. BakedPenguin

          ” shovel-ready projects.” I was dog-sitting for a friend last week, so I have a good knowledge of those.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    It appears to be intentionally confusing to the average voter reading at a 4th grade level since voting “Yes” means you DO NOT want the light rail projects to continue.

    Are you sitting down, Shirley?

  10. 61North

    Hey Glibs, I’m in NoVa right now and it’s very hot and terrible.

    On the plus side, I managed to cause family drama less than an hour after I arrived.

    1. Yup, my windows were dropping this morning. I’m supposed to change the oil in my cars, but I may wait until sundown and brave the bloodsuckers.

    2. Gender Traitor

      Do tell! Just spending a lazy, kinda boring Saturday afternoon doing laundry and waiting for it to start to rain. I’m up for hearing about someone else’s family drama.

      1. Tres Cool

        Sup homie!

        And dont say the r-word. I went HAM @ Kroger yesterday and picked up some NY Strips that have a date with my grill in a couple hours.

        1. Gender Traitor

          Might wanna expedite that or get yourself a big-ass umbrella. Latest pass shows it in Connersville. “R” is also for “radar.” We’re thawing out the pork steaks Mr. GT got free for nuthin’ from the meat vendor at our neighborhood farmers’ market after some kid tried to swipe Mr. GT’s tip bucket. (The bucket and most, if not all, of the tips were retrieved, and no guitars were harmed in the pursuit of the perp. Plus we got said perp’s Nike flip flops after he ran out of ’em.)

          1. Gender Traitor

            (Our grills on our covered back porch. If you have no such shelter, you might want to consider calling Awistocwat Pwoducts.)

          2. Tres Cool

            +1 “my dad can save your dad money!”

        2. Gender Traitor

          You’re in luck! The rain that looked certain to his us seems to have mostly crapped out and missed us to the north.

          1. Gender Traitor

            (“his” s/b “hit,” dammit.)

          2. Tres Cool

            Praise David Koresh!

            Steaks salted & sweatin’ like me in church, and Im gonna light the grill directly.

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Go on…

      1. 61North

        I scandalized my family by showing up to dinner last night with a BAC over 0 and probably under .1 and how could I do that to my grandma.

        1. she doesn’t care
        2. she has dementia and didn’t remember dinner when i talked to her today
        3. it took me like 14 hours to get here and they can deal with it

    4. Tulip

      Welcome 61 North

  11. 61North

    On topic, the DC metro is coasting on fumes and it will be glorious when it implodes because it won’t be my problem.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      The tunnels will be good for drainage in the event of a hurricane at least.

      1. 61North

        Walking up the stairs at Medical Center in August was the worst.

    2. Chafed

      My kid starts college in DC tomorrow. I sort of hope it happens while she is there. Take the sheen off of government as a solution.

  12. mexican sharpshooter

    A few edits made, notably todays forecast was updated to 109 from 107 when I drafted it earlier this week.

  13. Cy

    I work for a class 1 railroad. Hauling people on trains for the most part is really stupid, full stop.

    As a solution to mass transit woes, I’m really surprised cities, or much more preferable, companies haven’t gone to dirigibles. Eliminating the infrastructure needed for trains and the whole pulling around a shit ton of dead weight all of the time, would eliminate a lot of fuel burn waste. I also think that dirigibles in many places, like Honolulu, Portland, San Fran even LA/San Diego would be a large boon to tourism and open up vast swathes of land that weren’t easily accessible because rail has a hard time getting to islands or over large mesas and through passes.

      1. Cy

        Very nice!

    1. R C Dean

      I’m really surprised cities, or much more preferable, companies haven’t gone to dirigibles.

      Weather?

      1. Cy

        Rail has a lot of weather related issues too. WE shut down a lot for land/mud slides. Snow really screws up our world. There are a lot of other defect we have to slow traffic for too.

        I’d be willing to bet you’d have equivalent or even better numbers with a dirigible. Modern tech would have these almost completely automated.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      I like this idea.

      https://youtu.be/rWeO1q0gHJE

  14. Crusty Juggler

    Welsh town will install anti-sex toilets that spray users with water

    Welsh seaside town plans to install public toilets with measures to prevent people having sex inside, including a squealing alarm, the doors shooting open, and a chilly spray of water.
    Porthcawl, on Wales’ southern coast, plans to replace its Griffin Park public toilets with models that deter “inappropriate sexual activity and vandalism,” as the Press Association reports. According to WalesOnline, the toilets will cost Porthcawl Town Council £170,000 (about $200,000), while users will pay an as yet undetermined fee to access them.
    Movement sensors inside the toilets will respond to “violent” activity, while weight sensors will be installed to detect the entrance of more than one person, triggering the deterrent measures. The toilets have also been designed to prevent rough sleepers taking shelter inside: If a user remains in the toilet for too long, a warning message will play, while the lights and heating will switch off.
    The planning documents also include a high pressure floor and wall washer, which could activate after every use of the toilet, or less frequently. An automated 10-minute “deep clean” process will take place every night.

    How will the bitchy Twitter populace respond?

    The toilets have already come under criticism on social media, however, with some calling them cruel and suggesting they could “humiliate” users.
    “Weight sensitive floors to detect more than 1 user? What baseline weight are they using? I’m easily the weight of 2 teenagers! And what about people who need assistance? I have to go in with my kids,” one Twitter user responded.
    Another wrote, “This is absolutely terrifying. I’m a disabled person who falls a lot and occasionally needs assistance. Am I going to have to need to start looking up whether I’ll be able to use public conveniences without violent and humiliating consequence, because of moral panic?”

    What is with the Brits rogering in the woods and public bathrooms?

    1. Tulip

      They don’t have cars?

      1. cyto

        Who poops in their car?

        1. Crusty Juggler

          Dirty Mike and The Boys?

        2. MikeS

          Who doesn’t?

      2. Crusty Juggler

        They have silly tiny European cars, which I assume would make for cramped sexual times.

        I only make love on beds of silk or in champagne glass jacuzzis, so I wouldn’t know.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      I feel bad for the lardo that triggers the weight alarm.

    3. Suthenboy

      That is going to go over about as well as the dirigibles.

    4. leon

      Seems like they could just put a goat guard in. Would have solved the problem.

  15. cyto

    Hi.

    Cyto.

    My pronouns are Xerxes/Orthogonal. (my body, my choice)

    So today I’m officially 54. But I Identify As 19.

    So here’s an anecdote for the woke.

    I was taking the kids on a trip to visit their Grandfather – a 13 hour drive – and we stopped for snacks and gas at a big QT station. Really nice QT.

    There was a young mom with her kids doing the same thing. Young being relative, she was probably early/mid 30’s. She asked for help with something, and I helped her and cracked a couple of jokes about the kids.

    So she kinda followed me around and we talked for a bit… she made a few jokes and came back to talk 3 times after I stopped to help my kids with things like destroying the slushy station and dropping corn dogs on the floor. She was definitely happy to have my company and was being kinda flirty.

    I’m counting that as “got hit on”, even though that’s a bit strong. Because I’m old and married and headed toward fat and that’s about as close as I’m gonna come to getting hit on. (Well, there’s that and the guy who bought my drink at the Racetrack a couple of years ago.)

    Anyway, it was late at night. In a strange town. I was travelling alone with my kids…..

    And here’s where Jezebel needs to listen up: I took it as a compliment and waved as we went on our way. I didn’t tell all my friends about that creep who hit on me at the QT. I didn’t think she was being sexist. I didn’t feel the need to call her out for being presumptuous in speaking with me. I just said “nice talking to you! Have a safe trip!”

    That’s it.

    So that’s for all the SJW women who fear for their lives every time a guy says Hi and he isn’t Brad Pitt (1997 Brad Pitt, not even 2019 Brad Pitt). You can actually have someone be friendly and not take great offense.

    Ok, I’m hopping off of my oddball soap box. It just came to mind because I had an SJW friend who took great offense in a similar situation – and then that reminded me of the whole Skeptic’s Society meeting thing with the lady from the Skeptic’s guide who got all offended that a guy asked her to coffee. And then about 3 days later I’m in a situation that is absolutely custom built for an SJW takedown.

    1. R C Dean

      So shit. Much lord.

    2. Cy

      Semi related, I think there is a ridiculous amount of “racism” that is read into that is in fact just an asshole running around being an asshole. It wouldn’t have mattered what color, creed sex or fucking whatever you identify as, to that store clerk or professor, they were still going to shit on your day

    3. Crusty Juggler

      It just came to mind because I had an SJW friend who took great offense in a similar situation

      Fun fact: most people aren’t SJW morons

      1. cyto

        Unless you are on Twitter. Then apparently there are 3 SJW morons for every person on the planet.

        But you are correct. My personal circle contains very few real SJW and quite a few folks who like to poke fun at them.

        With a bunch of family currently in college, it comes up a lot lately. The nieces and nephews just went back to school, so they’ve been sending me pictures of things like the slide from the first lecture class where the professor specifies their pronoun, or their introductions where they go around and tell their name, where they are from, an interesting fact about themselves and their pronouns.

        My nephew wanted to go with “you can look to the rules of the English language to determine which pronouns to use for me”, but decided that was too confrontational. So he went with “my pronouns are Potato, Griddle and Pistachio.”

        1. Crusty Juggler

          I would think the teens/youth of today will be indoctrinated by things more like climate change than the gender pronoun/hyper sensitivity to social interaction.

    4. cyto

      Ok, against my better judgement I hopped over to said SJW web page. This is an actual quote about a study:

      “Presenteeism” takes toll on menstruating women – (Note: Not all menstruating people are women. This study only questioned women on their experiences.)

      No, I didn’t make that up. It is a direct quote about a study on productivity in the workplace for women who have bad cramps. And our SJW decided that it was important to point out that “not all menstruating people are women”. Wow.

      1. Tulip

        Expecting people to show up is oppressive. I hate these people

    5. Count Potato

      Happy Birthday!

    6. The Last American Hero

      Pay no mind to the Skeptics. Their whole stick is claiming to believe in science, and yet they seem to ignore things like basic biology or psychology. They also have an inability to refute global warming criticism without calling people heretics. Like.religious.people.they.relentlessly.mock.and.call.idiots.

  16. Crusty Juggler

    This one goes out to our ladies, gaymos, and fellow Gossip Girl fans:

    Chace Crawford’s superhero suit in ‘The Boys’ calendar has eyeballs popping: ‘This cannot be real, can it?’

    A promotional calendar for the Amazon Prime show was sent out to the press this week and March has sent the internet into a tizzy. Crawford, who plays Kevin/The Deep, is in his very tight superhero suit and it didn’t go unnoticed.

    *fans self*

    1. cyto

      Based on recommendations here, I binged that show over the last few days.

      It is really funny. That guy is great in his role.

        1. slumbrew

          I don’t see how that was any worse than the Popclaw scene. Which was hilarious / horrifying.

          1. cyto

            I really, really didn’t expect that.

            Not the accidental killing. Saw that coming a mile away.

            But the femdom nastiness… wow. That was pretty aggressive for a fairly mainstream network.

            And the Verhoeven level violent special effects… wow. yeah, hilarious/horrifying.

  17. Crusty Juggler

    What it’s like to have a midweek orgy

    t’s a Wednesday night and I’m sprawled on a hotel bed in central London. I’ve got a guy going down me, while two very talented women have a nipple of mine in each of their mouths. Next to us, a couple are moaning loudly. Another guy kisses me and I may pass out from pleasure. Not your usual midweek Netflix and chill. How did I get here, having an orgy in the middle of the week with a group of very attractive people? It all started with an offhand message in a group chat. Being part of the kink scene, I’m a member of a few group chats centred around that community. All that needed to happen was someone to make a joke about how they could really go for a foursome… and a bunch of others (including myself) to chime in that they could too. Next thing I knew, I had a message from a friend asking if I was serious about the foursome. He runs an intimate sex party called Little Black Books, so I knew that if he was organising something, it was going to be fun. He said he had some people lined up and asked if I was okay with those names. I said yes immediately.

    Apparently I need to get into group chats

    1. Cy

      I have a few friends that’re really into this ‘scene.’ It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I suppose someday, when I’m beautiful and have a shot ton of time and money on my hands, I might look into it.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “with a group of very attractive people”

      *cough* bullshit *cough*

    3. cyto

      You know how there’s that old saw about grocery store lines? About how you always pick the wrong one?

      I have a suspicion that were I to try out those group chats it would turn out very differently. Kinda like the difference between what you imagine a nude beach would be like (Sorority Girls III, only on a nude beach) and what it really is like (a random crowd from Walmart. Nekkid.)

      1. AlmightyJB

        Somebody turn off the lights please. Lol

      2. Have you seen Blame It on Rio?

        1. cyto

          No…. is it about a bunch of middle aged folks of average appearance having an orgy?

    4. slumbrew

      *waits for the transcript of the Crusty Juggler / Heroic Mulatto / Sugar Free group chat, with special appearance by Agile Cyborg *

  18. Crusty Juggler

    The hijacking of civil rights

    Today, we look back upon the civil rights movement and marvel at the degree to which things have changed. However much may remain to be done, whatever missteps were made along the way, the civil rights movement is victorious. No one who lived in the Deep South in the 1950s or before can reasonably deny that.

    Because nothing succeeds like success, every social policy activist since then has hijacked that movement. Not all of their ideas are worthy, and some of them are downright dangerous. Today, we are confronted by so-called social justice warriors who demand that we change our attitudes about morality to suit their hedonistic lifestyles. If you object, they hurl accusations of bigotry. If you are a baker or a florist, they sue you for not participating in their celebrations. Even religious institutions have been targeted by those who insist that churches perform same-sex ceremonies as if they were weddings.

    The success, to date, of these leftist social movements hinges on equating sexual perversion with race. They forbid the notion that one can hate the sin and love the sinner.

    Homosexuality and so-called transsexuality are two of the most prominent, personal dysfunctional traits being normalized in society. By defining these behaviors as immutable characteristics, the law has created protected classes whose behaviors are not only shielded, but actually promoted, even in elementary schools.

    Social libertarians have, to a large degree, taken the attitude that what people do privately is their own business and no one else’s — but in fact, the entirety of these leftist movements requires not only tolerance, but active participation by those whose religious and moral convictions are dismissed as archaic and even oppressive by the leftist establishment.

    The Left relies heavily on arguments based in equality, but as we have seen in the radical feminist movement, social equality is not the same as moral equivalence. Just as men are not women (and of course vice versa), so also same-sex relationships are not the same as marriages.

    To pretend otherwise leads to absurd conclusions. If we dispense with the idea of marriage as a union of one man and one woman and replace it with the idea of a union between any two people, then by what logic do we deny marriage among any three people? Or more?

    Hm.

    1. AlmightyJB

      “then by what logic do we deny marriage among any three people? Or more?”

      Uu, none

      1. cyto

        Yup. Let yo freak flag fly! In return I’ll grant you the right to stay the hell out of my marriage plans. Seems a fair trade.

        1. hayeksplosives

          As long as one spouse’s social security benefits don’t get passed endlessly to spouse after spouse after the original spouse kicks it, ok.

          But for all other “next if kin” things, who wins? Seniority?

          1. cyto

            Usually hottest one gets their way, just like all other sexual relationships..

    2. AlmightyJB

      If only that person understood freedom of association they might be on their way to a somewhat logical argument. Instead it’s all about meh morality.

    3. cyto

      I’m 100% on live and let live. You and your boyfriend both want to identify as lesbian women and get gay married, knock your socks off.

      But do we really need to reconfigure society to handle that?

      As I mention above, the kids in my extended family are mostly off at college right now. And they all have the same stories – they are being instructed to introduce themselves and give their preferred pronouns.

      Now, I’m even down with “call me she” if that floats your boat. No reason to be rude to someone.

      But why in the heck does every person in society need to run around announcing their pronouns to accommodate the 0.03 percent of people who are Trans? Sure, it is going to make them more comfortable coming forward and saying that they prefer if you call them “Julie” and their pronouns are “She/her”. I get that. But is it really worth altering 1,000 interactions for no reason other than making that 1 interaction less awkward?

      And as for those who go with Xe/Xer or They? Well….. I dunno. That seems to be asking a lot for random people to remember some made up unconventional syntax just so you can feel better about yourself for a split second. I suppose if I had to deal with you on a regular basis… but there’s zero chance I’m remembering that Xe/Xer or they stuff in the middle of a sentence. I’m just not that quick. So now we are gonna end up with a conflict for no reason.

      1. AlmightyJB

        If your a nice person and you ask nice, I’m happy to call you xe or xer or whatever. If you demand it or give me shit the first time I forget or whatever fuck off. I’ll call you whatever I want although I’m probably not going to be conversing with you anyways. Fuck 1984.

        1. ^^This, this, THIS!

          If you ask me nicely and show respect, I’ll bend over backward to return the favor. If you try to use the force of the State to coerce me into a particular behavior you can fuck right off.

          1. cyto

            And exactly why isn’t this acceptable? Be polite and respectful to each other… It seems to me that this is the perfect way to run a society. I have no idea why people think screaming and demanding some oddball special treatment is the right way to behave.

          2. You make the incorrect assumption that they’re operating in good faith. Capitalism doesn’t fall if people act graciously to one another.

          3. leon

            Luckily it seems to be resistant to assholes too.

      2. Cy

        I think it’s far more rude to ask someone to change their perception of you, especially if it’s to feed a delusion. If you look like a dude, odds are, you have a large say in that perception.

        In other words, if you want to be called something, look like it.

        1. 0x90

          I recall seeing dave rubin have blaire white and some other lady on his show, and the other lady led off with some weird tirade about how if she calls blaire a she, it’s not because she doesn’t know blaire is a he — and I’m just thinking, what’s the problem .. if I was there, pretty sure I’d call blaire a she, without really thinking about it.

          So I guess for me it just comes down to: how about let’s just try not to be assholes — don’t demonize people for calling you other than they perceive you to be, and don’t purposefully refuse to call people as you very well know they’d prefer.

          Just don’t be an asshole.

          1. Dunno if Blaire’s had the bottom surgery, but if so I’d be happy to plow her field.

          2. AlmightyJB

            I don’t think she has or is even planning on it but whoever did those tits should get a medal.

          3. Count Potato

            She hasn’t.

        2. Rhywun

          In other words, if you want to be called something, look like it.

          ^^^ This. And since I am old-fashioned, your choices are “he” or “she”.

          Not “they”. Not “xe”.

    4. 0x90

      Shorter: I’m cool with the gov forcing people to do (or not to do) things, as long as they’re my things. When they’re not, something, something, libertarians, something.

    5. “Social libertarians have, to a large degree, taken the attitude that what people do privately is their own business and no one else’s”

      With you so far.

      “the entirety of these leftist movements requires not only tolerance, but active participation by those whose religious and moral convictions are dismissed as archaic and even oppressive by the leftist establishment.”

      …aaaaand here you have the key distinction between Leftist tyrants and libertarians.

      Fuck off slaver.

  19. Crusty Juggler

    Last Saturday without college football! WHO ELSE IS EXCITED AND HAS TALKED THEMSELVES INTO THEIR TEAM HAVING A GREAT SEASON?

    If you are a ‘Bama or Clemson fan you do not have to talk yourself into anything – we’re tired of you people. Stop it.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I’m pumped. Buckeyes rebuilding but still looking for 10 or 11 wins. All I want for Christmas is to beat Michigan. My Vikings should be interesting as well. Hopefully, they can put everything together for a playoff season.

      1. Tres Cool

        AS someone who has loathed Cleveland much of my adult life (not the city), Im actually anxious to see what they put together this year.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Mayfield already building quite the fan base. Hope you guys do well.

          1. hayeksplosives

            Mayfield got a major PR boost when he ignored calls to leave the field after autograph session was over because it was also a Military appreciation even at a preseason game last week. So he stayed on the field and signed an autograph and took selfies with every soldier who wanted one.

      2. Crusty Juggler

        Will Grinch/Schiano be missed? Does it worry you you had to steal a guy from Michigan to run the defense?

        1. AlmightyJB

          Lol. Their head coach is from Toledo. Most of our team and Michigan’s every year are from Ohio. We’ll miss Bosa more than Shiano. More worried about how well our new head coach does and how quickly our new QB can get up to speed. It’s a rebuilding year for sure.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            You’re predicting 10 wins on a rebuilding year? You people.

          2. AlmightyJB

            Well 3 out of 4 of our toughest games are at home. Unfortunately, the Michigan game is away.

    2. Didn’t notice.

      Don’t think anything will change around my place.

  20. grrizzly

    It’s a tax-free weekend in our glorious Commonwealth. I’ve already saved $54.61.

    1. 0x90

      Why don’t we skip ahead a bit in the fall of this society, and just hold these types of events in stadiums.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Thunderdome!

  21. Francisco d’Anconia

    It would allocate any revenue from the city’s 0.7% transportation sales tax that was previously allocated toward light rail development to other city infrastructure.

    I can’t help but notice they aren’t proposing giving it back.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Of course not.,

    2. 0x90

      legislator: “These words .. seem to be english .. and yet somehow gibberish.”

  22. Crusty Juggler

    What FDR Understood About Socialism That Today’s Democrats Don’t

    That vision included one truly insistent message: He was not a socialist.

    Though he never used the term socialism in his speech, Roosevelt’s anger at those who accused him of ideological motivations, of applying an economic theory that was anathema to the United States, exploded from the lectern. In line after line, the fiery president defended his actions as pragmatic responses to the real, glaring needs of a changing society. The rich who criticized him, who cloaked their greed in an affinity for capitalism, were dangerously missing his point. He knew the ideological threats of communism and of fascism were real, and were overtaking democracy in European countries. An etched-in-stone commitment to the status quo would be an invitation to extremists everywhere. By fulfilling the government’s obligation to assist its people, he was instilling confidence in the American system. He was vindicating the Founding Fathers.

    Now, in a time of far less suffering and little sense of economic crisis, some Democrats are embracing the very title that Roosevelt shunned. It is, in their eyes, truth in packaging. Their proposals sound much like Roosevelt’s: using the power of the federal government to create a fairer society, in which essential services are subsidized by higher taxes on the wealthy. But unlike FDR, they say that, yes, these programs amount to socialism. The Republicans who inveigh against them aren’t misstating their intentions, as Roosevelt claimed. The GOP may be dead wrong to demonize them—to turn a benignly descriptive word like socialism into a scare word—but, yeah, they’re socialists in pursuit of a socialist platform.

    Fact: if you don’t call it socialist it isn’t socialist.

    1. 0x90

      It’s true he was no socialist. He was a fascist.

      1. Damn your nimble fingers!

        1. 0x90

          GOD DAMN THEM!! GOD DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!

    2. He was a fascist in that the means of production were still privately held.

      1. AlmightyJB

        But he did impose price controls.

    3. hayeksplosives

      Few things burn me as much as FDR’s “Freedom from” speech.

      I hate dimes with his fascist mug on them.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        #bringbackmercury

  23. The Late P Brooks

    And here’s where Jezebel needs to listen up: I took it as a compliment and waved as we went on our way. I didn’t tell all my friends about that creep who hit on me at the QT. I didn’t think she was being sexist. I didn’t feel the need to call her out for being presumptuous in speaking with me. I just said “nice talking to you! Have a safe trip!”

    That’s it.

    Somebody is in dire need of re-education. To the camps, with you.

    1. Count Potato

      Luckily, if you ever get sent to camp, you’ll show up at the wrong one.

  24. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that ballot measures, referenda, laws or even Constitutional Amendments prohibiting what the government can do are not road closed signs or even stop signs, they’re speed bumps. Phoenix will get its light rail whether the people want it or not. You stupid proles don’t know what’s good for you and Big Daddy will make sure he shows you where you’re wrong.

    1. 0x90

      “They voted it down? OK, let ’em try again.”

      It’s these people’s full-time job to extract resources from you. In the long run, you will never compete with that.

      1. hayeksplosives

        That attitude drives me crazy. It was so blatant after the Brexit vote that the Remainers had no intent to abide by what the people voted.

        I’d contemplate a “no double jeopardy “ kind of approach but sometimes we do need to look again and repeal a law, like Prohibition.

        Maybe a 10 year “no double jeopardy” limit would help.

        1. 0x90

          I’m probably just way too cynical, but all I hear in my head when you say that is “they voted down the $100m brick-facade school, so now we’ll do a referendum for a $120m granite-faced one.”

          1. hayeksplosives

            You’re probably right. The legislators and lobbyists almost all go to law school, so they can do some intricate word parsing.

          2. 0x90

            True story: my real awakening to politics, the realization of my seemingly-inborn libertarian philosophy, was triggered by a school bond referendum not much different than what I describe above .. they propagandized to the kids, used school-funded publications to agitate for a yes vote (my favorite episode — the editor of the paper quoted himself in the third person), and they held the vote on a weird day. I only found out about it a couple hours before polls closed, because my old piano teacher took it upon herself to call everyone she knew.

            My response was to put up a “school district watch” website (which I hilariously found the district’s attorneys to be trawling), and run unsuccessfully for school board. And eventually, I wound up here. So congrats to those assholes for starting something that can never be un-started.

          3. 0x90

            (unstated point being: not only do they make the rules, but they don’t even play by them)

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Well yes, we’ve had light rail for ten years now.

  25. Hyperion

    I’d actually have to drink it to be convinced it’s a pilsner. First guess, another shitty mop bucket brewed in warm temps IPA.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Scaled for IPA, this is a 4.8/5

      1. Hyperion

        I need to drink it. Brazil and Europe has the best Pils. Muika cannot do it and never saw any from Central Murika.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Tell me where to send it.

  26. 0x90

    nbc live feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrrtcZTAGP0

    title: Far-right, extremist groups clash in Portland, Oregon

    So far right groups are fighting themselves, or?

    1. Time to nuke it from orbit.

      1. hayeksplosives

        I watch Portlandia and laugh, but the real thing sounds horrid.

        Wonder if you have to pay a guy to plug your electric car in for recharging, like someone else had to pump gas for your ICE car?

    2. Gender Traitor

      Lookin’ kinda….sparsely-attended at the moment. Or impressively disorganized.

    3. Suthenboy

      I am not seeing any skirmishes or the heavy police presence the mayor promised would be there enforcing the law. It looks like most every protest I have seen…a bunch of walking, talking Dunning-Kruger’s scurrying to and fro in the streets pumping each other up with confidence.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Get my bookie on the line

    Donald Trump will quit the 2020 race and not seek re-election, according to a former top aide.

    Anthony Scaramucci, the short-lived White House communications director, said the president will likelu quit the race in March to avoid the humiliation of defeat.

    “He’s gonna drop out of the race because it’s gonna become very clear. Okay, it’ll be March of 2020. He’ll likely drop out by March of 2020. It’s gonna become very clear that it’s impossible for him to win,” he said in an interview with Vanity Fair.

    “He’s got the self-worth in terms of his self-esteem of a small pigeon. It’s a very small pigeon. And so you think this guy’s gonna look at those poll numbers and say — he’s not gonna be able to handle that humiliation.”

    He also encouraged a primary challenger to take on Mr Trump, using a Game of Thrones analogy to make his case.

    “You know, this is like ‘Game of Thrones.’ We need an Arya Stark, okay? We gotta take this guy out because this is like the Night King.

    “The minute the Night King is vaporised, all the zombies are gonna fall by the wayside, right? We had the Wicked Witch of the West, but he is the Wicked Witch of the West Wing. We gotta get some water thrown on him. He’ll start melting.”

    Who will rid us of Public Enemy Number One?

    1. Suthenboy

      Good Lord, that is a first class case of TDS right there.

    2. MikeS

      It’s gonna become very clear that it’s impossible for him to win

      As clear as it was in November of 2016?

  28. Chipping Pioneer

    Monorail!

  29. The Late P Brooks

    You suck, America. Only I can heal you.

    “The terrorist attack on El Paso was not a fluke or standalone event,” O’Rourke told The Daily Beast on Friday. “Since our country’s founding, our history has been stained by the dark legacy of racial violence and domestic terror—a legacy this state has been forced to reckon with from The Tulsa Massacre to the Oklahoma City Bombing.”

    He went on to say that Trump has only exacerbated that racist violence since taking office.

    “Last year, more Americans died at the hands of white nationalists than any year since the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building was bombed here in Oklahoma—and we know why,” O’Rourke continued. “Because we have a President who not only condones this hatred and violence, but fuels it. We need to tell the truth, connect the dots, and take immediate action to end the culture of hate and violence in our country—because when one of our communities is targeted, all of us, the very idea of America, is under attack.”

    Stick it up your ass, Beta.

    1. hayeksplosives

      OKC and Tulsa, huh? This guy is really courting the Oklahoma vote.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I’ve always confused the two.

    2. MikeS

      I thought that moron dropped out?

      1. hayeksplosives

        Was he really ever even “in”?

      2. Chipping Pioneer

        Hey, that’s “el idiota” to you!

  30. Chipping Pioneer

    We’re apparently going to get LRT at some point in Ottawa. It was supposed to start operating in July. Of 2018. Well, we’re going to have to wait a bit longer.

    Also, there’s been some sketchy stuff going on with procurement for Phase 2.

    So, to distract from this, the mayor comes out today . Shocker!

    Whatever you say, Jim. That’s why I’ve been calling the LRT “Big Gay Jim’s Big Gay Train Ride” for about two years now.

    1. Chipping Pioneer

      Ah, right. 3 links.

      1. Chipping Pioneer

        Hey, at least a better effort than OMWC last night. ?

    1. hayeksplosives

      Yeah, it’s one of the weird ones. And it denies the Mormons of the joy of putting pretentious photos of their bible open next to a cup of coffee on Instagram to prove how humble they are.

      Favorite SNL political skit of the full-tilt Left era: Jason Sudekis as Romney looking out from a balcony after results from election night 2012 show he’s lost.

      They depict him brooding and drowning his sorrows in a glass of milk.

      1. leon

        Yup. What’s funny to me is the perks acting like the Mochiato Frappucini isn’t coffee.

        1. slumbrew

          I enjoy the varies techniques religious people use to beat God on a technicality; the eruv of Manhattan being my favourite.

          1. hayeksplosives

            Yeah, that eruv line thing stunned me when it was explained to me by one of its practitioners.

            They are also supposed to rid their homes of all grain goods at Passover, so they “sell” their goods to a Gentile neighbor, without physically moving them, and then “buying” them back after Passover.

            I don’t think the creator of the universe is all “Ah! You really got me there!”

            Most of the sillier provisions aren’t even from the Torah, theyre from various rabbinical interpretations over the centuries.

          2. slumbrew

            My MIL just packs all the grain stuff into the (detached) garage for Passover.

            I say “just” but she breaks her ass getting the house ready for Passover.

          3. Chipping Pioneer

            Why do they sell their grain to gentiles? Why not to ZARDOZ?

          4. They don’t want to get stoned.

          5. commodious spittoon

            Prudes.

          6. slumbrew

            Great opening to The Fifth Column a few months back with Nick Gillespie telling how he was weaving home in a drunken haze and randomly got pulled into being a Shabbos goy.

          7. LJW

            It’s more entertaining when they follow God’s word more strictly.

            https://youtu.be/FQ5YU_spBw0

          8. Rhywun

            Well, that sent me down an interesting rabbit hole. Apparently, not everyone is on board.

            And now I need to see one of these things for myself.

      2. They can’t drink decaf?

  31. Chipping Pioneer

    It must be Shabbat for TPTB. My topical comment upthread with 3 links is awaiting moderation.

    /not complaining

  32. Count Potato

    “Stories published by The Babylon Bee were among the most shared factually inaccurate content in almost every survey of this research.”

    https://twitter.com/snopes/status/1162393607531388928

    “Study: Too Many People Think Satirical News Is Real

    In a news cycle full of clownish characters and outrageous rhetoric, it’s no wonder satire isn’t fully registering with a lot of readers.”

    https://www.snopes.com/news/2019/08/16/readers-think-satire-is-real/

    I remember when Twitter banned a fake Salon account because people couldn’t tell the difference.

    1. Hyperion

      “Study: Too Many People Think Satirical News Is Real”

      They watch CNN?

      1. Gender Traitor

        No, CNN is hysterical news.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I remember when millennials got all their daily news from John Stewart

    3. leon

      Therefore we need to debunk it throughly rather than just saying: It’s Satire. :eyeroll: Snopes is trying to justify their obvious stuipdity by saying they have to go into deep debunking of things that are meant to be fake. The only thing they should say is: This is satire. Nuff Said.

  33. Hyperion

    Have to give a big kudos to Drizly, probably the best customer service I have ever seen besides Amazon. I wanted wifey to drive me to the store to buy more beer… but she was drinking wine already. So I got on Drizly website and it was all sorts of fucked up today. I couldn’t even see my order. They called me 2 times and straightened it all out. I had my beer in less than 15 minutes. Balmer gets a few things right and fortunately, the delivery guy was not murdered before I got m beer.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I don’t understand why we don’t have it here. I’m oppressed I tell ya.

      1. Some liquor store owner or distributor doesn’t like it, I’d guess.

  34. hayeksplosives

    New thread is up!!!!

    1. Gender Traitor

      But are the new phone books here?

      1. MikeS

        I’m going to necro-post to give you a hat-tip for that. ? Great movie with a lot of good quotes that seems to be getting forgotten.

    2. Hyperion

      Who told you that?

  35. Count Potato

    “Gamergate Controversy Explained Easy Cartoon”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STl7-_f4_eA