It is January 5th. You know what that means…

I pulled into the parking lot at my gym.  I have gone there for years; people there know me but they don’t know my name.  Its cool.  Except two things occurred to me when I couldn’t find a place to park.

The first?  Its thst time of year…Rezos.  The second?  Which one of these assholes drives the Brabus!?

Seriously though, why drive such a beast on city streets?

This is my review of Lagunitas Night Pils.

Every time this time of year people on social media that make it a habit out of telling the world they go to the gym starts posting memes making fun of fat people at the gym or people making New Years Resolutions.  I am not going to do that.  I refuse to poke fun at somebody trying to better themself.  It is curious though, how many people take up going to the gym around New Years.

It is actually quite substantial.  A few popular chains cite a spike in memberships as high as 40%.  It is to the point where comparisons to the insurance industry are made, in the sense that the smaller proportion of people that do indeed get their money’s worth from their membership (namely, they go) are subsidized by the larger proportion of people that pay for an annual membership in January and do not use it.

A few January gym factoids include:

  •  4% dont make it past January, and an additional 14% drop off around February.
  • Women are less likely than men to keep their newfound lust for fitness.
  • The business model itself, requires about ten times as many paying members than can actually get into the door.
  • People who actually use their membership make >$75,000/year on average.  I’m below average, apparently.

I actually did make a few resolutions myself but a fitness related one I did make was diet related.  Intermittent Fasting, or not eating all day and pigging out in a controlled manner is what I decided to do.  Just to try out and see how it goes for a few weeks.  My reasons are twofold:

  • I’m am more or less doing it anyway; I’m really just skipping lunch and not snacking.
  • I spend a lot of money on lunch.  Between $50-100/week.  I just think of all the many more efficient places to put my money.
Hey fat boy. Its me…I got what you want.

The problem of course is this does require a bit of discipline and I get really hungry during the day.  I assume it will pass to some degree, but I am about 4 days into it.  I am doing a version of the 16/8 except I am timing it so that I do eat breakfast.  So I went ahead and did a pre and post workout weigh in for those that are interested, and I’ll check back after 90 days to see where I am at.  I assume you people will hold me accountable.

 

 

Pre-workout

Post-workout.  Yes, I sweat off 3 pounds.

Another reason I picked this one, is technically I can still drink beer, and this one is really good.  It is a Pilsner in a sense.  It is a light, crisp lager with a nice hoppy finish.  It comes across a bit like a black lager but does not incorporate the Munich Malts one typically finds in a German  or Czech black lager.  Dare I say, it is a Pilsner in blackface.  Can I say that here?  Lagunitas Night Pils:  4.1/5

Comments

233 responses to “It is January 5th. You know what that means…”

  1. Spudalicious

    Lagunitas Pilsner is pretty good stuff.

    First.

    1. juris imprudent

      Number 1 country not at the last World Cup!

      1. Festus

        Wanted slap-ass gif. Muy despero.

  2. Spudalicious

    Going to the gym in January is a pain in the ass. But as you pointed out, it usually clears out by the end of the month, which makes gym owners very happy, because most of those people signed up for a year.

  3. PieInTheSky

    my current gym does not seem that high in resolutioners.

    On the other hand I returned in December after 4 months break and physical therapy and my fucking shoulder still fucking hurts. And I lost a lot of strength. Goddamnit. I am still not sold on surgery though. It hurts less and am doing it slow just did some push pull stuff twice a week. I need to build a new program though. I can do most things except chest stuff, that hurts. I narrowed my grip on the flat bench and seemed to help. Hurts less in incline. Tried dumbbell but do not hurt less than barbell. I will try some cable work see how that goes.

    Never listen to commercial gym instructors boys and girls. Just because they look buff does not mean they are not full of shit. $ years never injured until I listened to some trainer. I blame myself really, I knew it was not a good idea but said I’d try it. Fucked on the first try.

    1. Spudalicious

      I’ve seen trainers have their clients do some pretty stupid shit. I just shake my head and walk away.

      1. PieInTheSky

        The thing is I loved the gym but it was the kind I went 3 days a week at the same hour for a program. If it was just a regular gym I would not have taken advice. Mostly I refused exercises I did not like mostly behind the neck stuff barbell upright rows and the like. But a couple of times i followed the program and now a year later I still regret it.

        1. Spudalicious

          Yep. Group classes are the worst offenders. My trainer is my age and just as damaged. He knows what I can, and can’t do because he’s in the same boat.

          1. PieInTheSky

            The appeal at the time was great. A gym where 8 people had 8 power racks 8 benches 8 full sets of dumbbells and it was a 3 minute walk from my house so not Bucharest traffic. I hated waiting for a squat rack. The exercises were mostly ok as long as I avoided the bad ones but I also did not like the fixed program. I wanna go whenever to the gym.

          2. Yep. Group classes are the worst offenders.

            *nods with wife’s approval*

            There are good professionals who teach group classes. My wife has a bachelors in kinesiology and does continuing learning on a regular basis so that she can help out her regular attendees (she took some classes on fitness and pregnancy last year, for example)

            My wife is the best trainer at her gym, but there are a few others that are good, but don’t have the experience that she does. There are a few others that would be working at a coffee shop except that they took and passed a certification exam. They’re trash.

            Same dynamic applies to personal trainers, as well.

            If your trainer seems like an idiot, they probably are. Fire them and get a better one.

          3. My brother-in-law got his BS in Kinesiology as well and worked as a personal trainer for awhile. He worked at a 24 Hour Fitness for a while but found the cut they took and the general culture to be less than ideal, so he took his own clients on an independent basis. He said he noticed that a lot of the crappier trainers were basically young bros and Instagram “models” looking to pick each other up.

      2. PieInTheSky

        I also have been very depressed last year and drank a lot more han my usual and I gained weight and not being able to gym properly was partially to blame. I feel less depressed when I can do an intense workout.

        1. Spudalicious

          Release the endorphins!

          1. Lackadaisical

            STEVE SMITH RELEASE ENDORPHINS EVERY WORKOUT. BY WORKOUT MEAN…

      3. Mojeaux

        After having had a real physical therapist, I look back on my trainers and thank heavens they didn’t do any damage.

        1. PieInTheSky

          I am not that sure I trust physical therapists

          1. Mojeaux

            The one I had after my rotator cuff surgery was awesome.

          2. PieInTheSky

            Fortunatly my rotator cuff has no issues

    2. Avoid surgery if you can help it. Maybe see a physical therapist. I’ve heard way too many horror stories about shoulder surgeries resulting in extremely lengthy recovery times followed by a permanent reduction in mobility and strength.

      1. PieInTheSky

        I understand what I would need is laparoscopic and takes 15 minutes… but not yet. I did Electrotherapy am thinking of ESWT

        1. Mojeaux

          I had surgery. I do not regret it. I will be waiting a while to do the other one because I want to get back to full strength in the newly repaired one first.

          1. You had rotator cuff stuff done, right? How bad was your shoulder prior, and what’s it like now, if you don’t mind my asking? I’ve got a rotator cuff…something…that’s been a thing for maybe fifteen years. Kinda comes and goes, but oddly if I either lay off weights OR am currently lifting heavy weights it doesn’t bother me. The worst is like maybe an hour or two after I’ve lifted weights. I’m trying to keep my personal record of never going under the knife, but I’ve got a few things on the list that might wind up needing surgery eventually.

          2. Mojeaux

            I was scheduled to have it way back in 2015, but couldn’t afford the downtime, so I held off until August 2018. It wasn’t painful, but I got surgery at the point I could no longer use my nailer or mud and sand a wall or paint.

            In the time I had delayed, it had gone from a normal repair to a major one. My surgeon said this repair would only last 10 years before 8 have to get a replacement, which would be a “reverse” replacement.

            Anyhoo, do all the exercises and it goes back to normal lifting with some stiffness. I can use my tools again, although with what feels like a cotton sleeve cuff around my biceps. Doesn’t bother me, but it feels weird.

            IOW, pain wasn’t ever an issue. Range of motion and strength were. I waited too long and did a lot more damage than I should have.

          3. Mojeaux

            I take that back. Pain WAS an issue. I went 5 years on occasional steroid shots. Mr. Mojeaux just reminded me of that. Pain is not NOW an issue. It feels strange to be back to normal.

          4. Dang. I’m not there yet, thankfully. I’m hoping that by just being conscious of it and not doing anything dumb I can keep from aggravating it and making it worse. Right now it’s mostly just a twinge when I move my arm a certain way and one of the louder aches when the seasons change, and if that’s as bad as it ever gets then I’m fine with it.

      2. I’m Here To Help

        I strongly second this. I’ve had a damaged rotator cuff in my shoulder for the last 25 years and I’ve learned to just live with it, and I know what I can and cannot do with it. With my knees, I tore the meniscus in both of my knees at the same time. Had an operation on one, left the other alone. The one that was operated on has since had two more operations, including my recent partial knee replacement. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have had it done in the first place…

  4. Count Potato

    “Sick paedophiles are pretending to be chicken nuggets online to lure kids”

    https://twitter.com/DailyMirror/status/908576317985185797

    Masters of disguise?

    1. Count Potato

      “One sex offender even pretended to be a ROAD outside a girls’ secondary school to entice teen students to accept his friend request”

      https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fake-social-media-accounts-pretending-11175055

    2. blackjack

      Shouldn’t they just pretend to have candy?

  5. I did the 16/8 for a few months but I’d make an exception if we had made plans to meet people for like a Sunday brunch or barbecue on Saturday, that type of thing. It didn’t really do anything for me that I noticed, and it screwed with my exercise routine. I alternated between lifting and running in the afternoons/evenings depending on time, and I’d either do it on an empty stomach (which noticeably hurt my performance) or wind up doing it late as hell (or missing it) because I’d wait until after I ate.

    My wife’s thinking about doing it now, though, so I’m thinking of giving it another whirl. If the other adult in the house is on the same schedule that ought to make the scheduling bit easier. Another thing I’m going to do differently is keep a really close eye on my caloric intake during the eight hour period. I suspect I took the “eat whatever you want” part too literally, especially coupled with drinking, and taking too many “break days” on weekends.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Oh yes. Thursday my boxing trainer noticed I wasn’t as sharp. I explained why, and he replied I’ll probably even out over time.

  6. R C Dean

    Which one of these assholes drives the Brabus!?

    *pops a chubby*

    Seriously though, why drive such a beast on city streets?

    Because its a fucking awesome driving machine. I’ve never actually driven one, but I have driven an AMG, and Brabus essentially takes AMGs and, somehow, upgrades them. The AMG I drove also had 600 horsepower (naturally aspirated V8, even). It was Mrs. Dean’s daily driver for 3 years or so. If I had the money, we would absolutely have another one that we (well, she) would drive every day.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Yeah, they are beasts, but they’re shockingly tame as a commuter. Crack that throttle open, though, and hang on.

      1. R C Dean

        Even at normal street speeds, the AMG was superior to the Mercedes; AMG resets the stance and the suspension. Even when you aren’t taking advantage of all those horses, you can still feel them lurking, waiting to pounce. Driving a Mercedes is like driving a nice car, driving the AMG was like driving a predator.

        In case you can’t tell, I miss that car. If I ever win the lottery, a new AMG will probably be the first thing I buy.

        When we bought ours, I traded in a pickup (probably one of the few times a pickup was swapped for an AMG). I’d be willing to bet that when we traded the AMG in for an FJ Cruiser, that was the only time in history that had ever happened.

        1. Mad Scientist

          I absolutely LOVED the AMG I used to have…when it was running. The constant, ludicrously expensive maintenance put the kibosh on that. But, hot damn, that car was fun to drive.

          1. Spudalicious

            $1200 set of tires every 20,000 miles and $3000 tuneups are a little ridiculous.

          2. Mad Scientist

            I think I paid $1600 every 10k miles for tires. An oil change was over $300.

        2. Spudalicious

          I’ve driven an AMG a few times. First time jumping on the gas scared me a little. I merged into the freeway, looked down and I was doing 95 when I thought I was doing 70.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Thats my wife’s TDI wagon. Think I’m going 55 but actually closer to 80.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      My problem is I would attepmt to outrun the cops.

      1. Spudalicious

        You can’t outrun a Motorola.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Motorola? Is this 1998?

          1. Spudalicious

            Kenwood?

        2. Cy

          In most rural areas… yes. Yes you can.

          1. Spudalicious

            As demonstrated in the documentary series, Dukes of Hazard.

          2. blackjack

            + some good ole boys

    3. slumbrew

      An AMG wagon is high on my want list. A 600bhp wagon just makes me giggle a little.

      1. R C Dean

        You and Mrs. Dean both.

    4. I was hoping it was a bra bus.

      1. Tres Cool

        Not Bang Bus™ ?

  7. The Late P Brooks

    There has been an influx of cultfitters insinuating themselves into my consciousness, lately. They are annoying as all getout.

    I’m thinking about getting a total gym. I think it would enable me to get to some muscle groups I can’t really work in my current home weight room. Anybody have one or used one?

    *I’d buy one in a heartbeat if Christie Brinkley would come with it, to be my personal trainer.

    1. R C Dean

      If you are looking for something to supplement a home weight room, you might look into getting a rowing machine.

    2. What muscles are you trying to work?

      1. Nvm I see your reply below

  8. Rhywun

    It is curious though, how many people take up going to the gym around New Years.

    I wouldn’t know.

  9. hayeksplosives

    It is January 5th. You know what that means…

    Yeah, it means it’s Mr Splosives’ Birthday!! Woot woot!

    We went out and had porkchops (his) and chicken fried steak (hers) for breakfast, and are now at home where the Mr is on the phone with USAA insuring his new motorcycle, and I am interacting with you schlubs.

    Now I need to figure out plans for the rest of the day. Naps and football? Going to the beach? Wine tasting tour? Possibilities are endless…

    Happy Saturday, y’all!

    1. It all sounds great!

    2. Mad Scientist

      Pics!

      (Of the new motorcycle!)

      1. hayeksplosives

        Here ya go.

        It’s a private album because Imgur banned me from public postings. Lol.

        https://imgur.com/a/PRaF3qt

        1. Mad Scientist

          Metric cruiser!

    3. Old Man With Candy

      Riven suggests BJs and anal.

      1. hayeksplosives

        The former is fait accompli; the latter ain’t happening.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Some men are into it.

          1. Spudalicious

            Hay-ooohh!!!

          2. blackjack

            Some men try real hard to get in to it.

          3. Spudalicious

            Wow. You snuck that in the back door.

          4. hayeksplosives

            Oy vey. I can’t take you guys anywhere.

          5. Spudalicious

            Of course you can, just not through the back door apparently.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    If you are looking for something to supplement a home weight room, you might look into getting a rowing machine.

    I’m not really looking for cardio. I want to work on “lat pull” type stuff, and I don’t have a cable pull-down rig. My shoulders are fucked. My neck is REALLY fucked. Something with low resistance shoulder rotation and range of motion would be helpful, I think. You can do a rowing sort of movement on the TG if you want.

    1. I think the total gym is overkill if all you want is lat pull. However, if you have other uses for it, it becomes more and more viable as an option.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    I think the total gym is overkill if all you want is lat pull. However, if you have other uses for it, it becomes more and more viable as an option.

    I’ll use it for more, once I figure it out. And we’re talking Craigslist, not full tilt retail. One thing which has held me back is the amount of room it takes up.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    new motorcycle

    DucatI? Aprilia?

    1. hayeksplosives

      Honda VTX 1800c

      1. Tres Cool

        Tres and the VTX 1300
        https://postimg.cc/xkgnf6Yw

        1. hayeksplosives

          Noice! Maybe we need a SoCal Glibertarian biker meetup.

          We could make up embroidered jackets that say “Fuck off, Slaver”

          1. Tres Cool

            Do it in latin. Teh classy.

          2. But Enough About Me

            Hmmmmm. Efutue, factorem servus!

            Somebody whose Latin’s still serviceable, feel free to butt in here.

  13. But Enough About Me

    One of the things I learned almost 20 years ago was that the vast majority of trainers in commercial gyms are just a hair away from being functional morons. For one thing, many of them, being young, buff, and invincible, have no sense of what people can and cannot do as they age. They’ll give exactly the same training advice to a 60-year-old as to a 20-year-old.

    That’s just nuts. Muscles in the elderly can grow much the same way as in the young (albeit more slowly), but tendons and ligaments become inelastic and brittle and the insertion points are much easier to irritate to inflammation. All of these differences require substantial alterations to a basic training schedule.

    I no longer go to commercial gyms. The money I’ve saved over the years has allowed me to buy some very compact, high-quality home equipment. And of course, I can work out whenever I want or feel the need. Not that I don’t slack off.  ;-)

  14. Nephilium

    Low key day today. Went to the homebrew shop to pick up materials to brew tomorrow (including a new yeast I just found Javaru Lithuanian Farmhouse). Met up with a friend for brunch at a local taco place, then hit up a brewery to get a passport stamp and a growler fill (it’s not like I haven’t been there before).

  15. mrfamous

    I find commercial gyms to be a godsend, as long as you find the right one. For most glibs (judging by the daily links) , the “right one” is one with plenty of young and fit women in yoga pants and spandex workout outfits. I’m not being crass, I’m being pragmatic. It’s so much easier to motivate yourself to get the gym and then work hard at the gym, when you have the sort of motivation traipsing in front of you.

    Diet has been the much harder part for me. Going to the gym is one of the highlights of my day. YMMV.

    1. Lackadaisical

      This is a good point. I’ll see if I can convince the Mrs to add that feature to my home gym, for motivation.

    2. Tejicano

      A couple decades ago, here in Japan, I was in a transition period and using local public gyms.

      As I was going for another set on the bench one of the (cute) female trainers in spandex asks if I want her to spot me. Sure, that would help.

      As I am raising the bar and clearing the rack she steps in to be closer to the bar – literally straddling my face without touching it.

      Talk about motivation…

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I think I paid $1600 every 10k miles for tires.

    A friend was working for a guy who bought an NSX when they first came out. The guy loved the car, but he’d burn the rear tires off it in a few thousand miles. They put it on the set up pad, and it had some ridiculous amount of toe-in at the back. They called Honda to bitch about it, and the guy they talked to said it was to “settle the back end” and keep the average dope who bought one from killing himself. They squared everything up, and the car got (even) faster, and tires lasted longer.

    1. Mad Scientist

      A touch of toe-in in the rear is good for racing. Not sure why you’d want it on a street car.

  17. Nephilium

    And sorry to step on Q’s toes here, but voting is open for the Viva Las Vegas Pinup Contest. The top 6 public choices will join the already selected 6 at the Pinup Contest at Viva this year.

    1. No apology necessary; the more hot girls the better.

  18. Fit as a fiddle hotties.

    http://archive.vn/sDxy0

    Many abs. Much titties.

  19. hayeksplosives

    The Mr and I have decided to stay in most of today (this evening might be another matter…) so I rummaged in the pantry and found dry black eyed peas. The freezer had a hambone, the garden offered up thyme, rosemary, and tomatoes—kale too, but that will be a last minute stir-in. 1 Serrano pepper in the fridge, an onion in the hamper. With a few other kitchen staples, I believe we have a winner.

    The Instant Pot and I have a date now.

    1. Tres Cool

      Kindly offer up your method of cooking black-eyed peas. Jugsy has been wanting them, so I have a couple pounds, and a ham bone. Looking around, most everyone on the intertubz has “BEST BLACKEYED PEAS RECIPE EVAH!”…..500x over

      1. hayeksplosives

        1 Tbsp olive oil
        1/2-3/4 cup chopped onion
        3 sliced celery stalks
        1 bell pepper
        2 sprigs fresh thyme, or 1/2 tsp dried
        1 Tbsp Kashmiri chili powder, or cayenne
        1/2 tsp black pepper
        1 tsp kosher/coarse salt
        4 cloves garlic, chopped (I use pre-peeled frozen garlic)
        1 serrano pepper or bird chili, sliced
        4 cups Chicken Broth
        2 tsp Balsamic Vinegar
        1-2 slices Bacon, chopped
        1 small Ham Hock (or meaty ham bone)
        1 3/4 cups dry black-eyed peas
        2 cups kale (optional)

        Put all ingredients EXCEPT broth, peas, and kale into instant pot and saute for 5-10 minutes until fragrant and onions start to turn translucent.

        Add peas and broth & stir. Put lid on instant pot and set to pressure cook for 15 min. After cooking, leave the lid on and let it sit for 15 more minutes to do Natural Pressure Release. Then manually release remaining pressure.

        Stir in kale or collard greens if desired.

        Cook off excess liquid on sautee setting if needed (hard to call with variable water content in ham & veggies).

        Serve with cornbread.

        1. Tres Cool

          Much obliged! I let ya know how it turns out.

          1. hayeksplosives

            You’re welcome.

            Since most people don’t have a handy dandy hambone or ham hock in the freezer, you can easily substitute chopped ham. The recipe is quite forgiving of alterations as long as you have enough water for the peas.

            The Instant Pot saves all the presoaking PITA.

          2. Tres Cool

            Well, I do a stove-top pressure cooker, but it translates easily enough.
            And since Im still all about some keto, its going to be all for the girl. (who doesnt like cornbread….go figure)

          3. Rhywun

            doesnt like cornbread

            *faints*

          4. Nephilium

            You can find smoked ham hock, smoke ham neck bones, and ham soup bones at the grocery stores around me. I learned the hard way that neck bones are a pain to deal with.

        2. I’m Here To Help

          This sounds very similar to the hoppin’ Juan my wife makes for New Years. She makes it using three types of pig (breakfast sausage, bacon, and ham), three types of beans (black eyed peas, kidney beans, and black beans), and three types of chilis (red, jalapeño, and habanero). Cooks it with onion, a jar or two of the turkey stock she made from the Thanksgiving bird, the ham bone from the Christmas ham, and various other spices. Serves it with cornbread and collard greens…

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Many abs. Much titties.

    How legs.

    RAWR

  21. deadhead

    I do a wimpy version of intermittent fasting. I have my final calories no later than 6pm and during my “off season” when I was trying to lose weight, I wouldn’t eat until after my morning cardio. To some extent my performance during training suffered, although my overall performance increased dramatically.

    However, that led to me losing muscle, so I started adding chia seeds to my water on my hard morning workouts. From that point on I slowly gained muscle as I was losing weight.

    In mid November I stopped focusing on weight loss and started my “serious” training. Now I eat before, and consume calories during, my tough workouts and, not surprisingly, it helps with my training performance. However, a year ago, I wouldn’t have guessed what I’d be able to do w/o calories. Yesterday, I ran 13.11 miles w/630 feet of gain and 630 feet of loss in 1:47:07 with an average 142bpm heart-rate. I didn’t eat or drink anything before or during my run.

  22. Tres Cool

    At least dude went with Apple Cinnamon.
    Always a solid choice.

    1. You know, they say that emergency rooms get a whole lot of people coming in with strange things stuck in their keisters. What is it with people?

      1. Lackadaisical

        They like sex?

      2. Tres Cool

        “It was a one in a million shot, doc!”

        1. Lackadaisical

          +1 nude gardening

  23. Nephilium

    Seasonal beer creep has reached new levels of insanity. Sierra Nevada released their Brut IPA, labeled as a Spring Seasonal. It’s in stores now, and was brewed in December. In what area is January considered Spring? Same thing with Great Lakes Brewing releasing their Conway’s Irish Ale in January. How much longer until the pumpkin beers are on the shelf in April??

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Preach it brothah! Oktoberfest in July! Woooooooooo!

      1. Nephilium

        Now this is a damned good looking beer calendar. Special Hoperations is a collaboration that raises funds for a charity (Honor Flight), Benjamin Danklin was a tap only, and I really want to see what the new February year-round beer will be.

        1. deadhead

          Honor Flight is pretty worthwhile.

          We can’t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

          and depending on where you live, you might be able to drive to the airport and do some cheering.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          Its like some kind of Paul Newman+Peter Griffin thing with their logo.

          1. Nephilium

            The logo came from a sports bar in Pittsburgh that backed the brewery getting started. They had a couple that got some complaints, so they retired them.

            Off the top of my head, they’ve also supported the Make-a-Wish foundation, Cleveland Metroparks, Sierra Nevada Resilience, Ales for ALS, and Breast Cancer Awareness (with Zest for Breasts).

  24. Bob Boberson

    Waiting in Lowe’s at the brand new online pickup counter. I could have been in and out 3 times over if I’d just pulled the stuff from the shelves myself. I remember a decade or so ago when Lowe’s and Home Depot employees were irritatingly helpful. I think those days are dead and gone.

    1. Tres Cool

      see also: Best Buy

      The place with 15 checkout lanes, and only 2 are staffed.

      1. Bob Boberson

        Best Buy makes more sense because it’s a Leviathan in the throws of death. The big box hardware stores are quasi-monopolies at this point now that they’ve squeezed out all the home town hardware places, which is why they suck so hard IMO.

        1. Nephilium

          In my neck of the woods, Lowe’s has helpful staff while Home Depot offers tool rentals. Menard’s is building their first location near me, so we’ll see what changes.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Lowes has wide aisles and a clean floor, Home depot feels like an Indian bazaar, narrow, filthy and full of Brown people

          2. Festus

            Here in Canada hardware stores repel brown people. The rich ones are too cheap to shop there and the poor ones wouldn’t set foot in one.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            Mexican contractors

          4. Mojeaux

            Lowes has wide aisles and a clean floor

            Yes. It appeals to women.

            Home Depot does, in fact, feel narrow and filthy. However, that’s where I shop most.

          5. Festus

            Euphemism?

          6. Mojeaux

            Maaaayyyyyyybe…

          7. Tres Cool

            +1 slutty bishop

          8. Mad Scientist

            Lowes has wide aisles and a clean floor

            And as a result, is full of women with carts parked sideways in the aisles and 10 rugrats running around screaming.

          9. Mojeaux

            Hey! I resemble that remark!

    2. Lackadaisical

      That’s been my experience shopping online with them as well. I often know where what I’m looking for is better than the staff as well.

      /too much home remodeling and repair

      1. Bob Boberson

        I’m a renter but I’ve decided that if I want to oneway improve my own property I need to know how to do more stuff, so I offered my landlord to tile my kitchen floor at cost-of-materials only. We’ll see if the Home Improvement bugs is a short lived enthusiasm.

        1. One way improvements are the way to go.

  25. Festus

    Serious question. I’ve got an abdominal hernia and I’d like to lose some roundth. I already walk at least ten miles a day for work. Aside from corrective surgery is there any way that I can shed that yellow fat that’s pooling around my waistline?

    1. Sean

      Cut out as many carbs as you can.

      1. Bob Boberson

        You probably don’t want to hear this (being that you said it expressly) but get the surgery

        /former abdominal hernia surgery patient who is very happy to not have that issue anymore

        1. Fourscore

          X2

      2. Bob Boberson

        Hey Sean, I remembered you mentioned you are a now retired skydiver back in the rock climbing article. Would you be interested in writing an article? I’ve started one several times but don’t know enough about the intersection of the USPA, FAA, etc. I think it would be interesting because the general consensus among skydivers seems to be “keep the gov’t out of skydiving,” I’m just not quite deep enough into the sport to write the article without doing a lot of research.

        1. Mojeaux

          I had a client who was an avid skydiver and wrote several books on the subject. Dan Poynter. I loved him, but he is no longer my client. RIP.

          1. Bob Boberson

            Damn……he could pretty much be considered one of skydivings founding fathers. Those guys who were doing it back then were the true daredevils, there was a hell of a lot more uncertainty in the equipment in the 1960’s.

          2. Mojeaux

            He sent me flowers occasionally just to say thank you. He sent me his old MacBook so I could do some work on it for him, but he passed before I could send it back. His assistant (who I also love) told me he meant for me to keep it. So I have a hard drive full of his books and his MacBook on my desk.

            Now I’m sad.

          3. Bob Boberson

            Well from the wikipedia article and that anecdote he sounds like the kind of guy that is truly a privilege to know. He lived to a ripe old age and lived an incredibly full life, so there’s that.

        2. Sean

          I’ve thought about a couple of ideas for articles, but not pertaining to skydiving. I’ve been out of it for too long. It seems like a lifetime ago now. Anything I knew would be way outdated.

    2. deadhead

      First, don’t take medical advice from anyone with “dead” or “head” as part of their nickname.

      Second, do a little more of what works and a little less of what is counter-productive. Log what you eat, what you drink, what exercise you get and when you sleep and how well. A plain text file is sufficient.

      As for what works and what doesn’t, that varies from person to person, which is why you log: so you can get some long term data. I suggest little changes because they add up over time. I’ve seen a zillion people go for big changes and burn out.

      Don’t kid yourself.

      Although I don’t agree with everything in the book, if you want some ideas of small changes you can make, you can find some in Eat Move Sleep.

      FWIW, I had an inguinal hernia several years ago. I was told that it would never get better by itself, so I bit the bullet and had surgery (in November 2012). The surgery was laparoscopic and I had to quit running for a while (although I was allowed to walk “as fast as I wanted”, so I taught myself to speed-walk). I’ve had no trouble since and am fairly active.

    3. But Enough About Me

      I might also add “quit the booze for a while.” Helped me.

      I too had inguinal surgery (right-side inguinal hernia, 2011); the repair was with mesh, and was “conventional.” I was walking (gingerly) the same day. I spent six weeks doing nothing but walking greater and greater distances and not lifting more than 10kg (approx. 22 pounds, as per doctor’s instructions). Then I did six weeks of light weight-training (including sit-ups!), and finally went back to regular training. Other than being able to occasionally feel (slightly) the mesh and its scar tissue, I’ve had no issues.

      One thing: if the repair’s done correctly, you’ll probably lose all feeling for a time in the area of the surgery and possibly all the way down to the same side knee (although that’s really unusual). This is because there’s a number of nerve structures that need to be temporarily moved out of the way to do the surgery. My feeling partially returned within six months, but it’s never completely recovered. This is a better outcome than chronic pain.

      1. deadhead

        FWIW, I never lost any feeling in the area. On the contrary; I had some sort of tubed needle embedded in it that was supposed to be trivially slipped out by a technician a certain amount of time after the surgery, and … it got stuck. That minor complication was painful (not trying to dissuade you; I’d still do it again).

        OTOH, after about thirteen years, I’m still missing some of the feeling in my lower lip after having my jaw sawn off as part of my bi-max surgery (one of three I had) for sleep apnea. I doubt it’ll ever return.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    The place with 15 checkout lanes, and only 2 are staffed.

    See, also: Target

    1. Festus

      My local Wal-Mart.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Self check out is your friend, even at Home depot, Walmart has plenty as well

        1. Tres Cool

          Thats the issue I have with Wal-Mart, at least around here. It seems they’re deliberately herding everyone into the self-checkout lanes, so they can cut back on employees.
          The cost of labor for a cashier, etc. is built into the price of my product, so why would enact their labor for free?

          HEY YUFUS!

          1. So that you don’t have to deal with them.

  27. Spudalicious

    Texans are getting their ass kicked.

    1. hayeksplosives

      I am following the game on my phone at the vet clinic. KittySplosives is not feeling good.

      Have to make the decision on paying for more tests or just putting her down.

      1. Mojeaux

        Oh, that is a horrible feeling. I am so sorry.

      2. deadhead

        Ugh. Tough call. Best wishes for you.

      3. Mad Scientist

        🙁

      4. Spudalicious

        Sorry to hear that.

      5. But Enough About Me

        Sorry, ‘splosives. Had to make a similar determination for a beloved pup eight years ago. I opted for “more tests,” which unfortunately told me there was no real hope.

        I sent Giz onto his next adventure about three weeks later, when the nerve pain he was suffering became unbearable for him. I actually should’ve let him die in my lap a few days earlier, but hope’s the damndest thing.

      6. hayeksplosives

        Thanks, all.

        They’ve taken her off for blood work but we’ve worked through the denial and are ready to make the euthanasia call.

      7. DEG

        Sorry.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Kitteh got a reprieve! Her xrays and blood work were all ok, so doc gave her some anti nausea meds (with pill form for us to keep giving for a few days) and pain killer to administer orally as a liquid for a few days.

          So we’re home watching her and just seeing if she gets better.

          1. Rhywun

            Aw. How old is she? Mine are getting up there (~12) and I’m slightly terrified at the prospect.

            One got real sick around 7 or 8 years ago and giving her the pill cocktail was one of the most trying experiences of my life – much blood (mine) was shed.

          2. blackjack

            I’ve had a cuople make it 18 and 20 y/o. I’ve done subcutaneous fluids (needles), injections, pills, eye drops, you name it. It’s easier than it seems. Always wrap them in a thick towel if they’re the fighting type. A little 6 lb cat can do some serious damage when you are trying not to hurt them back. A couple of cats have sprung back to health and been happy for another 5 years or so.

            Funny story. Once when we were kinda broke one of my wife’s cats needed Oxygen. It costs like 350.00 or so at the vets between the office visit, mandatory assessment fees, etc. My wife kept fretting and we were gonna try and get through until payday. Then I looked around on the internet and found out welding O2 is just slightly less filtered. So, I got my welding tanks and slowly flowed O2 right at the cats face and it worked. Cat got better and the wife calmed down.

          3. deadhead

            Welding gas for non-welding purposes? N2O way!

          4. Rhywun

            Yeah, she was properly swaddled. Getting her that way was the struggle. (Mine don’t like to be picked up – at all.)

          5. Mojeaux

            Yay!

            Get better soon, kitty.

      8. Count Potato

        Sorry 🙁

    1. Bob Boberson

      In bizaro Blue Team world they envision one day standing over Trump as he sits on the ground with his hands bound behind his back. They will ask, “Who really has been haunting the old abandoned amusement park?” They’ll pull off the orange mask to reveal_________(?)

      1. slumbrew

        Karl Rove

        1. Tres Cool

          V̶i̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶F̶o̶s̶t̶e̶r̶

        2. Spudalicious

          Mr. Lizard.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        +1 Meddling kids

    2. Rebel Scum

      The dark tide of fascism is always falling on Republicans but it is always comprised of Democrats.

  28. Tres Cool

    Why am I cold all the time ?

    1. Tres Cool

      And from the sidebar of that article .

      Single-payer proponents would spontaneously ejaculate, except the person isn’t dead yet.

      1. Bob Boberson

        So let me get this straight……when a government agency has self-imposed rules and deadlines, they set them aside whenever they become inconvenient or fall behind?
        #VA #IRS #debt-ceiling

        1. Tres Cool

          As a patient of my local, SW Ohio, VA medical center, I dont really have any complaints. However, Im only seen for service-connected, routine shit. I will say they are VERY generous in imaging. Which I most often take to my non-VA doc for his opinion.
          I have 2 friends that are veterans and work there. I asked one, “if you were at work and hot a hot appendix that was about to pop, would you let them cut on you?” She said, “hell no…thats why I have real insurance”.

          1. Mad Scientist

            I have a friend who’s a doctor in Canada. She won’t be treated at her own hospital.

          2. But Enough About Me

            I live in Canada. I won’t be treated at my local hospital either.

          3. mexican sharpshooter

            While I was working there, I got stung by a scorpion at home prior. I noticably had the jitters and one of the nurses suggested I go to the ED.

            “There’s a 4 hour wait time…there are actual sick people waiting 4 hours.”

          4. DEG

            My one grandfather said about the VA hospitals, “If you get a good doctor, you’ll top notch care. But getting that good doctor is the problem.”

          5. Tres Cool

            I concur. From what I’ve seen, when ‘the system’ works as a whole and as it’s intended, it works very well.
            That rarely happens.

          6. Suthenboy

            The problem with govt work is that there are few incentives for high quality work and a few disincentives for it. Yeah, finding unicorns is the problem.

    2. blackjack

      sell a million just in Pheonix.

  29. Suthenboy

    It is a busy time of year for me and I cant keep up. Dammit, I have missed some really good articles.

    Tip for FourScore: I have only been stung when bees get inside my clothing or I accidentally mash one with my finger. Tie up your cuffs with rubber bands, a tight collar buttoned all of the way up and you should be good. If they get inside your clothing and you move the fabric mashes them and they panic. Move slow and deliberate so as not to mash any with equipment or tools or hands. Work in good weather so they are not already stressed. I do this and I can work without any further protection. That’s not to say that I dont keep a hood handy.
    Stings on limbs or torso are minimal and nothing to get excited about. Finger tips? Nose? Lips? Eyes? That hurts.

    1. have only been stung when bees get inside my clothing or I accidentally mash one with my finger.

      I’m at exactly 50/50. 2 stings were due to being mashed. 2 were due to the hive being extremely agitated and one of the girls lashing out at the thing that looked like a mangy black bear.

      1. Suthenboy

        How did the hive get agitated? Warm weather, and good conditions are important.

        I forgot to mention ‘dont swat or flinch’. If one gets on your face, ignore it. If you must brush it off do it very slowly and gently. Start an inch away from the bee and wipe towards it, then roll your finger slowly when you contact her. She will lift off onto your finger so that you can put her back on the hive. Be sure to have a good bee brush so you can brush them off of the lip of the supers and not mash any while reassembling the hive.

        I watched a video of a amateur keeper once and the guy could hardly get out his speech he was being stung so much. He was talking too loud, waving his arms around, leaning on the hive with his hands without looking and mashing bees. They ate his ass up. At the end of the video he was remarking “I dont understand why they are so aggressive with me. I see other beekeepers working closely with them and they dont get stung. What is going on with my bees?”

        I put a comment in: “You”

        1. How did the hive get agitated?

          One was a swarm that we were removing for a neighbor. I hopped out of the truck 50 yards away from the swarm, and within 2 steps felt the telltale buzzing that precedes a sting.

          The other was because I was mowing around the hives. It’s possible that I mowed over the bee and that’s what set her off.

          1. Suthenboy

            Yeah, a mower would do it.

            I dont know about the swarm, they are usually not aggressive. If the weather is good and they are in a tight ball with not many flying around you can usually put a super under them with frames in it and scoop them into it. When you get close to the object they are clinging to start looking for the queen. Put her in a queen cage and band her to one of the center frames. If you have already scooped her into the super the rest will follow. Put a top on it with the opening facing the swarm and they will all march right in. Go have a beer and a sandwich. I like to wait a few hours to make sure all scouts have returned. Plug the opening, strap the top and bottom on you and they are good to go. Make sure they have ample food in the relocation spot. After a week or so you can release the queen from the cage.

            Check this guy out, he has some very good videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/JPthebeeman

          2. This swarm was pretty pissed off, the farmer had been nailed more than once, and he wouldn’t even come around to that side of the barn anymore. It was one of the few times my grandpa fully suited up. The bee got me in between the cab of the truck and the bed (where my suit was)

          3. I’ll check the link out! I really enjoyed working with bees and would love to get a hive or two eventually.

          4. Suthenboy

            Interesting fact. ‘Africanized or Killer bees’ are bees that have spent generations where they are under high stress from predators. Their proportion of guard bees to workers is much higher so as to repel burglars. Upon arriving in Costa Rica these africanized bees came under much less pressure from predation and more pressure from the constant rain. Over just a few years they developed a much larger proportion of workers to guards to compensate for the short periods of no rain when they could forage. In short, they became like the European varieties we are familiar with here. They lost their aggressiveness.

        2. But Enough About Me

          My French grandmother kept bees. She never wore any special clothing, and I think she could count the number of bee stings she had throughout her life on the fingers of one hand.

          She always referred to the bees as “my children.”

          1. Spudalicious

            During growing season our garden is crawling with bees. I move carefully and we just leave each other alone.

        3. Nephilium

          Another thing to keep in mind is that bees do use pheromones to communicate. Some of which (in certain insect species) can be released by being crushed. So don’t swat bees unless you want to piss off all the bees around it.

          1. Suthenboy

            And fear. They can smell the heightened adrenaline and uric acid in your sweat.

            “Hey girls, that dude is scared. He must be up to no good!”

            I am convinced that they can read your body language as well. Most of their behavior is programmed, but they are highly social and not stupid.

          2. Nephilium

            Flying insects don’t bother me at all, I may have been stung by a bee once in my life. I know enough to avoid wasps (because they’re worse then the hate birds that hate), and even mosquito bites don’t bother me for long (they’re usually gone in 4 hours). The girlfriend thinks she’s been stung once, and is terrified of any flying insect (including dragonflies).

          3. mikey

            That’s because dragonflies will sew you ears back and your lips closed. Everybody knows that.

          4. Tres Cool

            Or you can make yourself smell like a really hawt bee .

    2. blackjack

      Once, I was riding my motorcycle through the desert at 80 mph and a bee came flying around my windshield. It flew straight into my nose and stung me inside my nostril. Everything went white and I couldn’t see. It hurt crazy bad. Water flowed out of my eyes and nose. I somehow slowed to a stop. I just sat there for maybe 2-3 minutes until it subsided. Thank dogs I was in the middle of the desert out by Twentynine Palms. Anywhere else I’d have wrecked for sure. Finally rode on to Amboy and heard a million bee sting stories. Good times.

      1. Tres Cool

        I was riding my lil GS-R to meet then-girlfriend for lunch in the next town over. I was lazy, and had on shorts and hi-top converse. As I made my way down I-70, something landed in my shoe and began stinging. I never did find out what it was, but my ankle was swollen for 2 days.

        1. Suthenboy

          That doesnt sound like a bee. I am thinking wasp or hornet. Have I mentioned that I hate wasps and hornets? I fucking hate them and kill every one I get a chance to kill.

          1. Tres Cool

            Just like BlackJack above, feeling like you have a hot cigarette in your shoe at highway speed (I was late to meet her, so it was at least 80 mph) can be VERY distracting for the operator.
            Mostly my fault for not dressing appropriately to ride, anyhow.

          2. Suthenboy

            Similar experience. Big red wasp got inside the cab while I was on the interstate. It lit on my back when I leaned forward. I did not know this until I leaned back into the seat. Ouch. I think he drilled all the way through my chest wall.

          3. Fourscore

            I got stung by a black wasp that came from nowhere. Hit me on the back of the neck and dropped me to my knees. I mow around the hives, bees bouncing off me, if they’re working they are unconcerned .

            One time when a bear got involved he tipped the hive over, he tore down the electric fence either going in or coming out. Anyway he ran about 200 feet, lay down on his belly and was pawing at his face/nose. I could only laugh at the poor guy but he never was a problem again.

    3. Fourscore

      Thanks Suthen, I pretty much am buttoned up when working with the critters. I like to work early, in the cool of the morning. My partner, unfortunately, thinks early morning is about 10 AM. On a warmish, humid day the bees can be a little agitated. Generally the only time we really have a problem is the last pull and then move them right away. Needs more smoke.

      If they get around my wrists and watch band they start to get squeezed and want some retribution but as you say the bites on the body aren’t serious but around the face is another story.

  30. Tres Cool

    Black-eyed peas, a la Ms. ‘Splosives.
    Jugsy approved

    1. hayeksplosives

      Yay! Glad it went over well.

      1. Tres Cool

        Yup. Im gonna hang on to that recipe. You’re awesome.

  31. DEG

    That beer looks good.

  32. Nephilium

    So, who wants to feel old? Here’s a list of movies that are turning 20 years old this year. I saw 10 of them (if my memory is correct) in the theater.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I saw earlier today that last episode of Sopranos was 2007. I was like what happened to all those years since then!

    2. I’m Here To Help

      Bah. I remember watching the evacuation of Saigon on the television as a kid. Movies from 20 years ago are already firmly planted in my old age…

    3. Suthenboy

      20?

      *scoffs*

      Wait until all of the actors from your childhood and some from your early adulthood are dead and their children are adult actors in movies 20 years old. Then you wont just feel old.

      1. Nephilium

        Some of us are still in our early 40’s. To us, we feel old.

        /waves at Forescore

    4. blackjack

      Yeah, I saw Paper Moon, Bonnie and Clyde, Blazing Saddles, The Sting, JAWS! and a whole buncha other movies in the theater. We hopped the fence and saw Apocolypse Now in a drive in with just a case of beer and a transistor radio sitting on the berm. 1999 is modern history to me.

    5. straffinrun

      Eye’s Wide Shut. +1 Kidman bush.

      1. Nephilium

        I remember seeing it in the theater because it was a big deal at the time (Kubrick’s last film, and rated NC-17). After me and my friends watched it, we all walked away realizing that Kubrick really needed an editor to make that a decent film.

        1. straffinrun

          It almost worked. Creepy, Bilderberg type secret society fucking each other at parties. Needed moar pizza shops.

          1. Suthenboy

            I never got the point. Upper class swingers club.Tried to make it sinister with mood lighting, solemn expressions, and dark dramatic score. I guess it was a dark and stormy night.

            ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz

          2. straffinrun

            Give me a couple grand, a camera crew and some slutty chicks and I’ll make you an Upper class swingers club movie you’Il love.

  33. I’m Here To Help

    Not really a new years resolution, but it is now time for me to get into shape. Well, a shape other than “round.” New years just happened to coincide with the time where my knee has finally recovered sufficiently from the operation that I can start to get active. Been alternating between rowing at home and riding the stationary bike at the gym at work. I’m going to add in some body weight exercises to help build my strength back up. Between my knee, bad shoulders, bad wrists, and an ankle that acts up every once in a while, I think my days of weight lifting are over. Also finally getting my diet sorted out – no more unhealthy snacking and I’ve pretty much cut soft drinks out.

    Currently at 271, down from a high of 282. My goal is to get back to my former stable weight of around 230 pounds. Ideally I’d like to get back to my college weight of 205, but I think that ship has long sailed…

    1. Tres Cool

      ..have you considered giving your life over to keto ? I have a pamphlet and newsletter. You may wish to subscribe.

      1. I’m Here To Help

        Won’t ever happen. The one hobby I have is baking, specifically bread. You’d have to pry the brioche from my cold, yeasty hands…

        1. Tres Cool

          Pass on the bread and give your life over to shitty, low-carb, light beer. As I have.
          Walk to the light, Carol Ann…..

  34. How do the reporters, cameramen, security etc at Trump pressers not bust a gut, I just watched the concrete vs steel wall bit and my sides hurts form laughing (I’ve been drinking so there’s that). Everyone just listens to him stone-faced while he’s putting on a comedic routine that rivals Carlin at his prime.

    1. Suthenboy

      People say a lot of things about him but ‘not entertaining’ isnt one of them. Him glaring at the king of morocco while the king slept through a speech killed me.

  35. Tres Cool

    Thanks to Trump, people in SW Ohio are literally about to be starving.

    1. straffinrun

      “Both food banks anticipate a higher demand for free food as furloughed employees use what money they have to cover housing and medical needs.”

      You’ve missed two maybe three paychecks and now you’re getting food from a food bank. JFC.

      1. Rhywun

        Or, they’re making shit up.

        1. Mad Scientist

          ^THIS

    2. Nephilium

      So would it be wrong of me to think that government employees should be banned from taking public assistance?

  36. straffinrun

    I don’t even like Chihuahuas, but WTF?

    https://twitter.com/greg_doucette/status/1081694157607976961

    1. Homeowner (after refusing to answer questions, as allowed by the Fifth Amendment): “I’m on my property, I don’t have to do what you say”

      Deputy: “OK. That’s how your dog got shot.”T. Greg Doucette added,

      Urge to woodchipper rising.

      1. straffinrun

        The ease with which Officer Friendly pops the dog suggests being a fucking psycho is second nature. Zero emotion shown.

    2. Bob Boberson

      I didn’t stick around so I’m not sure what happens in the video but I didn’t want to see. I know I should probably have a greater sense of humanity and feel more outrage when a cops kills a person but something about cop puppicide makes my blood boil and my mind go to very dark places. I tried to get SoCon Dad to watch “Of Men and Dogs” with me so he can then tell me what great guys cops are but he refused.

    3. SoberPhobic

      T. Greg Doucette
      ‏Verified account @greg_doucette
      2h2 hours ago

      T. Greg Doucette Retweeted Lane

      “innocent”

      The dog reached for his waistband, the officer rightly feared for his life!

    4. slumbrew

      <blockquoteT. Greg Doucette
      T. Greg Doucette
      @greg_doucette
      ·
      2h
      Wouldn't be a police department left in the entire country if John Wick were real

      Truth.

      1. slumbrew

        That’s what I get for posting with my phone

    5. Mad Scientist

      A woodchipper is too good for that fucking cop.