Nerd Beer!

My local Kroger had something interesting in the cooler.  Not only was it a reasonably priced Barleywine, it had a cool looking wizard or something on the label.

This is my review of Ninkasi Critical Hit R&D:

Typically, this is where I go off on a tangent and explain something I researched from a trigger on the label.  Unfortunately, I am not really a gamer so the best I can do is this:

Research and Development

There are two basic R&D structures that have emerged in companies throughout the commerce spectrum. One R&D model is a department that is staffed primarily by engineers who develop new products, a task that typically involves extensive research. The other model involves a department composed of industrial scientists or researchers, all tasked with applied research in technical, scientific or industrial fields, which is aimed at the facilitation of the development of future products or the improvement of current products and/or operating procedures.

I don’t think that’s right.  Somebody correct me on this one.

Critical Hit

A critical hit means that you roll your damage twice (adding to each roll all your usual bonuses, including any additional damage from special abilities) and then add the rolls together to determine the damage dealt.

That appears more relevant.

What is a barleywine?  A barleywine is a style of beer not wine.  The name harkens back to a time where beer was typically sold at 5-7% abv.  Being 10-15% abv, this style is more in line with wine.  While a stout or IPA sold at 10% is not unheard of today, a barleywine transcends both because unlike the other two where the flavor profile is dominated by hops or malt, this is meant to be balanced.

This means the immense amount of malt is equally met with an immense amount of hops, resulting in a complex flavor profile—like wine.  Also like wine, it can be aged because of the high alcohol content. This is not one for the faint of heart.

Ninkasi put out several others to market in my area that I liked. This one does not dissapoint.  Critical Hit R&D easily scores a 4.5/5.

Comments

597 responses to “Nerd Beer!”

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    That sounds perfect! Another good one Messy!

  2. AlmightyJB

    This beer looks weird. Brewery is in Covington so it’s probably appropriating black culture or something.

    http://abc6onyourside.com/news/local/brewery-teaming-up-with-ice-cream-shop-to-relaunch-one-of-a-kind-beer

  3. AlmightyJB

    I can’t say I’m all that edgumacated on barleywine, I’ll have start trying some of those. I guess I see wine and think tannic which I do not handle well or as a beer maybe vinegary which I am not a fan of. Doesn’t sound like it’s either.

    1. DEG

      The Barleywines I’ve had are neither.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Nice. Thanks. I’ll be on the lookout. I know my local pub has had them.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      If you taste vinegar its bad. Like tell the brewery they sold you a bad batch bad.

      1. Nephilium

        That also means they’ve got an infection. In the home brewing world, the most common cause of this infection is fruit flies, who usually carry that bacteria around.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Seems like Goses and Sours have that hint if vinegar. It’s not strong. Just enough to put me off. Same with dry ciders. Maybe the tartness and acidity make my tongue taste vinegar. I don’t know.

  4. DEG

    This R&D maybe?

    The beer looks good.

  5. Old Man With Candy

    I don’t think that’s right. Somebody correct me on this one.

    It’s not right. That’s actually the difference between development and research, not two different kinds of R&D. R provides the tools and technology base, D uses them to develop actual things.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      What you did there—I sees it.

  6. PieInTheSky

    After 2 weeks of sore throat when I avoided all things cold and drank red wine and scotch I am having my first beer. It is not a particularly good one but it is beer.

    https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/726/2166/

    1. AlmightyJB

      Great Lakes in Cleveland makes a really nice Dortmunder.

      1. Nephilium

        And they’re working on expanding so they can keep up with demand. It’s also a decent go-to beer that you can find at every bar in Cleveland.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Glad to see that. They’re one of my favorite breweries.

          1. Nephilium

            They’re an institution up here. While they’re not my favorite of the local breweries, they are solid. They’ve only had a couple of real misses that I can think of off the top of my head. I’m planning on heading down to Masthead at some point today as they’re celebrating their second anniversary. I might make my way down to Southern Tier just so I can once again say I’ve been to all of the breweries in Cleveland.

          2. AlmightyJB

            Sounds like a great day!!! Jelly. I really like Southern Tier as well. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Masthead on some menus down here but don’t recall trying.

          3. Nephilium

            If you like coffee, the Masthead single origin Ethiopian Yirgacheffe Coffee Stout is awesome.

          4. AlmightyJB

            I like Ethipian coffee. I’m cool with some coffee flavor in a Stout if it’s not too strong. I’d try it for sure.

          5. Bob Boberson

            I was about to ask “Isn’t Southern Tier in Lakewood, NY?”

            A google search revealed they have three locations. No wonder its becoming so ubiquitous in the mid-atlantic region.

          6. Nephilium

            Southern Tier also partnered up with Victory, which helped both to expand their distribution a bit. It looks like they’re focusing on the Southern Tier brand with the tap rooms though.

          7. AlmightyJB

            Love Victory too. That’s a great combo!

        2. DEG

          Excellent news!

    2. Spudalicious

      I read that as “After two weeks of sores”, and I was going to suggest a topical cream, or something.

      1. Chafed

        I thought we were going to learn something about Romania’s health care system.

  7. AlmightyJB

    Some beers I’ve recently had

    http://www.luckysgrille.com/hilliard.html

    Abita Mardi Gras Bock – nice representation

    Akronym TTB Blond – very strong flavor for a blond. I liked it.

    Deschutes Baltic Porter – nice and thick as a porter should be

    Founders Nitro Oatmeal Stout – not bad. Consistency like. Guinness which is a little thin for me. I prefer The Poet to this but would drink again.

    Homestead Tannenbaum Christmas Ale – a little hoppy for a Winner Warmer but pretty good.

    And a few others:)

    1. Nephilium

      I haven’t been down to Akronym yet, they just opened last year. I didn’t know they were distributing already.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Not sure when it popped up on there menu but would have been in last couple weeks because I always will try a Blond when I see one. #toxicmasculinity. It definitely had a distinct flavor to it. Definitely want to sample it first if you can:)

        1. Nephilium

          I’ll probably be hitting them up when the Summit Brew Path starts up again this year. I’ll generally just go for a flight, and if they have something good, a growler fill.

          1. AlmightyJB

            That looks fun! Can you hit a lot of those on foot?

          2. AlmightyJB

            Looks like maybe a few together but pretty spread out

          3. Nephilium

            I can’t, but most of them are between my work and house. A lot will depend on how many they add onto the trail this year. Since last year, there have been half a dozen breweries that opened in the Akron area and there were a couple that weren’t on the trail last year. I’m just about done with the Cleveland brewery passport that just launched last year. There’s one that’s become a running joke, since they’re only open 8 hours a week.

          4. AlmightyJB

            8 hours a week:) must be a retirement job:)

          5. Nephilium

            Nope. Police Officer who opens the taproom from 18:00 – 22:00 Friday and Saturday nights.

      2. 61North

        Made with the finest of waters from select tributaries of the pristine Cuyahoga River.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I still remember when that caught fire.

          1. AlmightyJB

            New YouTube video about it.

            https://youtu.be/18JpT61rX6A

    2. DEG

      Deschutes and Founders make great stuff.

      I’ve seen Abita but never had their stuff.

      1. DEG

        After some digging on the others, I don’t see them outside of Ohio. Sad.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          Yankees make the best beer; I say we let them live.

        2. AlmightyJB

          Abita is pretty solid. I think there in Louisiana. A Local restaurant here that’s really good that does someone cajan dishes has I think every Abita.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Some not someone

          2. DEG

            Yeah, they are from Louisiana. Some of their stuff makes it up to New England.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Barleywine? Barf.

    1. Spudalicious

      Ted, is that you?

      1. Do I fuck up threading like that?

        1. Spudalicious

          You have slipped a couple of times recently.

      2. Chafed

        You’d thinks so but there wasn’t a Carol Channing reference.

          1. Chafed

            Why do you hate us Ted?

          2. I only hate you. 😉

  9. egould310

    I i drank a 3 Weavers Knotty DIPA with dinner last night. Went well with the Four Roses we were sipping on. I love booze.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I recently picked up abottle of Four Roses Small Batch. Very nice. I also really like the smokiness of the Woodford Reserve Double Oak I picked up earlier.

  10. Nephilium

    Now that the government is back up, you should be aware that the labels for barleywines can’t just say barleywine. They must include ale so that consumers won’t get confused and think this is wine that is made of crushed barley somehow.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    consumers won’t get confused and think this is wine that is made of crushed barley somehow.

    Hand picked barleys, lovingly trampled underfoot by dancing teenaged virgins.

    1. Not Adahn

      Have you sold the rights to this livestreaming yet?

      1. Pimply-faced boys living in their parents’ basement?

        If that’s what turns you on, OK.

  12. Nephilium

    For those of you going on the low-carb route, looks like Dogfish Head has your back.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Hops and water? Wouldn’t that just be tea? Lol.

    2. Chafed

      *Lights Tres Cool Jr. signal*

      1. Tres Cool

        Not sure if it can beat the Millwaukee’s Diet Beast price-point of $13.99/30, tho

        1. Chafed

          Look who doesn’t love his taste buds.

          1. AlmightyJB

            It doesn’t kill your taste buds like an IPA, you’ll just wish it did.

          2. Every beer drinker out there?

  13. Spudalicious

    Ninkasi is widely available here, I’ll have to go scrounge up a bottle.

    Pelican Bay also makes a superb Barleywine. Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Ale is the first one I had many years ago.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      That’s my first one, Bigfoot, we got pretty buzzed

      1. Spudalicious

        I was a beer drinker at that point, so I drank it like beer. Until the third one punched me in the face.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      My personal favorite is Killer Penguin by Boulder Beer Co

      https://boulderbeer.com/killer-penguin

      1. BakedPenguin

        **Thumbs Up emojis**

  14. 61North

    Nephilium,

    Is Fat Head any good, or do they just have a big marketing budget?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Yes it is, now Fuck Off!

    2. Nephilium

      Fat Head’s is legitimately good. They are one of the only breweries in the world that has won a medal at the Great American Beer Fest every year they’ve been open. I’m not even aware of any real marketing they do, versus Great Lakes where they’ve got radio commercials and the like.

      1. 61North

        I’ll stream the Cleveland ESPN station sometimes for a bit of schadenfreude and they do quite a few live reads for them. I went once when I was back but things were a bit hazy that night and I don’t remember the beer being anything to write home about, bit again, I was in rough shape.

        1. Nephilium

          They’re very much a hop head brewery, but the best seller is the Bumbleberry. The head brewer hates that beer, but it pays the bills, and lets him make the beers that he prefers. They’re new location is huge, and almost always packed. They also do a non-alcoholic root beer for the kiddies. Close to the production facility is the Brew Kettle (another good brewery), and there’s a brewery going into Fat Head’s old production facility.

          1. 61North

            I’ll check it out next time I make it back there, which probably won’t be until next fall. I live very far away from Ohio and plan to keep it that way.

          2. Nephilium

            If you’re going to be downtown, you may want to look at West 25th for the largest selection of Cleveland breweries (off the top of my head: Bookhouse, Nano, Market Garden, Bad Tom Smith, Great Lakes, Hansa House, Forest City) and another four or five within walking distance.

          3. AlmightyJB

            Anyplace you would recommend staying near there?

          4. Nephilium

            In the immediate area, there’s not much. There’s a couple of B&B’s in the area, but I haven’t stayed at either of them. Anyplace downtown would be close as there’s the Rapid that runs between W. 25th and Tower City. Lyft and Uber are both ubiquitous as well. The biggest draws in the local scene right now are East Fourth (a street full of restaurants and bars that’s closed to traffic) and the newly revitalized East Bank of the Flats.

          5. Nephilium

            Oh, and as a side note, realize West 25th is safe up in the brewery/bar/restaurant area, but the neighborhoods around it would be considered “transitional”. They’re gentrifying, but I wouldn’t want to walk around most of them by myself after midnight.

          6. AlmightyJB

            Thanks for the info! Yeah, when we went to R&R hall of fame a few years ago we parked at a lot by East Fourth and went to Lola’s for lunch. Then took bus to R&R hof and back. Was just a day trip. Next time we go, I’ll probably try and find a hotel downtown with a bar and be back there before it gets too late.

  15. Tres Cool

    Nice work, Sharpie. When I end my self-imposed abstinence, I may look for a ‘barleywine’.

    1. Tundra

      I’ve got about 13 lbs to go. Not sure why I torture myself with these articles 🙂

      Kidding of course, Señor Sharpshooter! These are a never miss for me!

      1. Tres Cool

        I havent really been concerned about my weight since October, when Id shed and kept off what I intended. Im holding back on alcohol cause of the magic 2 1/2 weeks dry did on my triglycerides.

      2. robc

        About the same for me, but I have a reward beer with each lb labeled on it. The 5s are special ones.

        A bottle of Chimay Blue awaits my target weight.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      No Earfquake?

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Ted, is that you?/em>

    Nope. I like beer. Beer that tastes like, you know, beer. Not syrupy cack.

    And if I wanted to get shitfaced, I’d just go back to drinking Cuervo 1800, or Wild Turkey.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      The hangover was that bad eh?

  17. Don Escaped Texas

    Idaho has figured out that bird poop is a problem..

    When I was a kid in a town of 10,000 we had pigeon day once a year where gentlemen went into town with 7 1/2 shot or less and just laid into anything that didn’t fly off so long as there was a reasonable backstop for the scatter. After an hour there was nothing left to shoot, we swept the conquered into the garbage and went about our lives again.

    1. Spudalicious

      From October 1st to January 31st, you can shoot all the crows you want in Idaho. They decimate crops, eat bird eggs, including ducks and grouse, and are just a general nuisance.

      1. Jarflax

        But they taste like shame.

        1. Spudalicious

          I…see what you did there.

      2. AlmightyJB

        I believe you can shoot them year round in Ohio. Groundhogs and coyotes too.

        1. Spudalicious

          Whistle pigs and cayotes are always in season.

      3. Bob Boberson

        Crows and Ravens are harder to hunt than one would think. I swear they can tell from a mile away if you are armed or not. Walk across the field empty handed they’ll hop around 10 yards from you. Step out of the house or truck with a shotgun and they clear out.

        1. They’re killing machines. Just ask Ray Lewis.

        2. Suthenboy

          Not only can they tell if you are armed or not, they can read the caliber printed on the barrel and know your range with a +/- one step margin of error. Wily bastards.

      4. They eat ten percent of the crops? That is bad.

  18. Not Adahn

    You how annoying it is when you’re trying to listen to your orphan quartet perform, and some asshole slows down near your front gates, necessitating that your machine gunners open fire to move them along? Well, someone has solved that problem

    1. DEG

      Impressive.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Wow. Considering the range, people would be dropping like flies with no idea why.

      https://youtu.be/eXRM3lFRwRI

  19. Don Escaped Texas

    Fannie Davis ran a numbers racket from her dining room table. As a stay-at-home mom in Detroit, “It was a legitimate business that just happened to be illegal,” says Fannie’s daughter

    1. AlmightyJB

      Why is it illegal for some people but legal for others including the government? We know why.

      1. Chafed

        FYTW.

    2. I was hoping that was a typo and Lanny Davis was going to the clink for something.

    3. Rhywun

      My mom entered the numbers business out of necessity

      And I’m out

    4. robc

      When the states first went to dailys, some numbers games started using those as their numbers. It was a way on ensuring honesty. And they paid a better return than the state (like $600 vs $500, or whatever)

      1. Fourscore

        Yeah, it worked better when Charlie on the corner ran things. Payoff was faster and he always paid off. Used the last 3 decimals on the right of the Dow as in the NYT.

  20. AlmightyJB

    Tulsi’s first campaign ad. Love and Change. Hmm. Definitely highlighting anti-war message out of gate.

    https://youtu.be/FPi4VAJtPL4

    1. Chafed

      A Democrat who doesn’t sound nuts straight out of the gate. Whoda thunk it?

    2. Bob Boberson

      Here campaign will get torpedoed faster than Bernie’s. The D’s are the pro-Syria/Yemen/Somalia/North Korea/Russia/Iran intervention party these days so they and their lapdog media shut her down faster than you can say “Rand Paul.”

      In a twisted way I kinda hope so. I don’t really want to have to choose between a Dove who wants to take my shit and give it to poor people and a Hawk who wants to take my shit to bomb poor people.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        I don’t really want to have to choose between a Dove who wants to take my shit and give it to poor people and a Hawk who wants to take my shit to bomb poor people.

        I’m stealing that.

    3. C. Anacreon

      When she does that broad smile in the commercial, it kept reminding me of “Mr. Ed”.

      Wilbur-r-r-r-rr!

    1. AlmightyJB

      How long before the left demands we change the Constitution to allow her to run for prez.

    2. Tundra

      It’s getting zero coverage here, at least a far as I’ve seen. PJ Media and Power line have each covered the story.

      This chick is toxic, but the proggie fuckwits are in love with her.

      1. Bob Boberson

        “__________is toxic, but the proggie fuckwits are in love with him/her.”

        You could have said the same sentence with Obama, Hillary, AOC, etc, etc and it would have been equally true. The Left resembles and ideology less these days than a cult of personality.

      2. Chafed

        That is genuinely disappointing. I suppose she will have to do or say something that has a local effect before the hive mind takes notice.

    3. Bob Boberson

      I worked in Northern Minnesota for a couple summers in my early twenties with a bunch of other twenty-somethings whom were almost exclusively from the Twin Cities. I liked many of them but it was my first exposure to the proggy hive-mind. There was hardly a one of them that wasn’t a True Bleeber in all things environmentalist/SJW (the tame version of the early 2000’s). Even know-nothing 20 year old me tried to point out to one of them that being sure you have all the answers is square one of totalitarianism. I was roundly scorned for that.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    We apologise unreservedly to The First Lady and her family for any embarrassment caused by our publication of these allegations. As a mark of our regret we have agreed to pay Mrs Trump substantial damages as well as her legal costs.

    *outright, prolonged laughter*

    “We just thought it would be nice.”

  22. robc

    Took 3 yr old to urgent care this morning. They did strep, rsv, and flu tests. Flu-A it is.

    Whats the point of the vaccine again?

    1. Tres Cool

      To tell people that the vaccine is effective, and then give the NIH/CDC free reign to perform drug trials on an unsuspecting, very large, group of people ?

      1. Mojeaux

        Well, I never thought of it that way, but I have a new tinfoil hat now.

        I don’t get the flu shot. The last time I did (years ago), I got the flu.

        1. Tres Cool

          I don’t actually believe that, either. However, if a couple whistle-blower gov’t employee types came forward with a story like that, I dont think Id be really shocked.

        2. blackjack

          I got the shot for the first time this season. Last year, I was out for two weeks with a crazy feverish flu and wanted to avoid it. I got it anyway. The internet says the flu shot is about 50-60 % effective and they just guess which variant to target. Oh well, at least this time wasn’t maximum debilitating like last season.

      2. Chafed

        That’s not entirely wrong. They have to guess which flu strain will be dominant and that’s the vaccine for the year. It isn’t nearly as effective as vaccines for childhood diseases.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Herd immunity, mostly.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    I worked in Northern Minnesota for a couple summers in my early twenties with a bunch of other twenty-somethings whom were almost exclusively from the Twin Cities. I liked many of them but it was my first exposure to the proggy hive-mind.

    What once was known as Prairie Populism, I believe.

    1. Bob Boberson

      I never really got my finger on the pulse of it. The book that summer that all of them were on and on about was href=”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishmael_(novel)”>Ishmael. What was most off-putting to me was the absolute certainty of their convictions. It very much seemed like the bizarro world fundamentalist Baptists I knew growing up.

      1. Bob Boberson

        damn it.

      2. “bizarro world fundamentalist Baptists”

        Well prog-philosophy requires religious conviction. It’s a faith-based ideology so this makes sense.

      3. Mad Scientist

        My ex-mother-in-law gave ma copy of that to read one day. It explained a lot about her. The condescending ape is just as positive he has all the answers. It’s a fucking awful book.

    2. Fourscore

      I went to Joe Plut’s funeral this morning. Joe, also known as “The Mad Hugger”, was in the class ahead of me in high school. Ironically, the only place I saw him the last few years was at funerals.

          1. Tres Cool

            More my speed. While still what I may categorize as “malnourished”, she has THICC potential with dem laigz.

          2. prolefeed

            She’s already thicc.

          3. Chafed

            I’m a dweeb.

          4. prolefeed

            Dweeb is woodable.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Hello hip bones. Roarrr.

        2. Spudalicious

          I’ll take me some geeky bunny burner please.

  24. Tres Cool

    Tulip? If you’re around, I caught your comment in the AM *lanks* about going to the vet, and referring to it as the ‘scary place’. This triggered me into remembering a story I’d read about dog euthanization (told from the dog’s perspective) where the vet’s office is called the ‘sharp place’, and the dog’s owner is “Mr. Person”. (Tl;Dr version: dog is put down, ascends to heaven, see’s it’s owner in the empty house being sad, blah, blah…)

    If, while poking around the interwebs and you happen across it, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE READ THAT STORY. Unless you’re in the mood to sit an sob uncontrollably for at least half an hour.

    1. Semi-Spartan Dad

      We found a vet that makes house calls. I usually only use that for livestock issues, but I did have the vet come out the last time we had to put one of our dogs down (Doberman renal failure at 8 y.o., way too young). She was able to pass in comfort at home, on her dog bed, surrounded by family. It’s the only way I’ll do it from now on.

      1. Tulip

        I had found a cat vet that did house calls, but couldn’t stand her so that was that.

    2. Tulip

      Yeah, I’ll pass on that. My late, much lamented cat before Oscar hated the vet. I’ll always be grateful that he ran around happily, seeming much more energetic for a week, then died when I was grocery shopping. I didn’t have to make that awful decision. (He had arthritis and I had put up steps so he could get on the bed and the couch). But he was otherwise seemingly ok at his last vet visit, about a month before he died. He was just old, about 16-18 based on estimates of his age when I got him. He was special and I will always miss him. Reading something like that would be too hard.

      I have explained to Babs that she is not allowed to get sick or old.

      1. Tundra

        My pal is having surgery on Tuesday. Vet found a large tumor during his annual check.

        I won’t be seeking out that story, either.

        1. Tulip

          Best of luck Tundra. I hope it goes well and he gets a few more years.

          1. Tundra

            Thanks, Tulip. For an 11 1/2 year old dog, he’s extremely fit, his blood work looked decent and his lungs were clear. Tumor looks like it is around his spleen. Odds are slightly negative for the tumor type, but we’re praying for good news. He’s been a terrific dog and I expect that to continue!

            It’s what we sign up for, right?

          2. Semi-Spartan Dad

            Good luck Tundra. Is this your GSD?

          3. Tundra

            Thanks, SSD. I appreciate it!

            No. She was the dog prior. This is my male Polish Lowland Sheepdog.

            Our GSD was a perfect 10, so we decided to not try to replace her!

          4. Semi-Spartan Dad

            I can understand that. We didn’t replace the Doberman either. The sheepdog seems like a very cool breed. It’s neat watching dogs with a herding instinct.

          5. Tundra

            Oh man, I dig Dobermans.

            It’s neat watching dogs with a herding instinct.

            It is. Training is critical, but sending the pups into a particular herding situation early is fascinating. My GSD always kept the Spawn away from the pond and the street.

            Pretty cool.

          6. Fourscore

            Hope all goes well. We don’t have any pets, we had a Weimaraner, Katy, the Wonder Dog, as the kids were growing up. Its was tough to say good bye at about 10-11. Can never replace her.

            Now the only critters we take care of are deer and birds. I have to put a sign up reminding the deer that the corn is for the blue jays and they (the deer) can get in trouble in November if they don’t heed the warning.

          7. Tundra

            Thanks, Fourscore. I appreciate it.

          8. DEG

            Good luck!

          9. Tundra

            Thank you, Dan.

    3. Tulip

      Tres, just the synopsis you provided plus Oscar’s behavior has me in one of those “we don’t deserve pets” moods. Poor kitty was fighting not to get in the carrier. I stopped, still holding him, and moved the carrier to make it easier. The cat was scared,so he clung to me. Then I got him in the carrier and took him to the vet. BETRAYAL! And yet, once we got back home and he got out of the carrier, he took one swipe at me, then 5 minutes later, hopped on my lap and head butted me. All forgiven. We don’t deserve them.

  25. OT: HAHAHAHAHA! IT’S A PRISON RAPE JOKE! GET IT!?! HAHAHAHA!

    https://ijr.com/jake-tapper-roger-stone-like-prison/

    AND IT’S SO FUNNY CAUSE IT’S A TRUMPKIN! THEY’RE NOT EVEN PEOPLE AMIRITE?

    Fuck you CNN.

    1. Bob Boberson

      #FactsFirst

    2. Brochettaward

      Labash described him as “a dandy by disposition who boasts of having not bought off-the-rack since he was 17,” who has “taught reporters how to achieve perfect double-dimples underneath their tie knots.”[146] Washington journalist Victor Gold has noted Stone’s reputation as one of the “smartest dressers” in Washington.[148] Stone’s longtime tailor is Alan Flusser. Stone dislikes single-vent jackets (describing them as the sign of a “heathen”); says he owns 100 silver-colored neckties; and has 100 suits in storage.[3] Fashion stories have been written about him in GQ and Penthouse.[3] Stone has written of his dislike for jeans and ascots and has praised seersucker three-piece suits, as well as Madras jackets in the summertime and velvet blazers in the winter.

      Gilmore is Roger Stone confirmed?

        1. C. Anacreon

          Perhaps a Yankee Doodle Dandy?
          A Yankee Doodle, do or die?

      1. Rhywun

        I guess we know where the “fashionably-dressed” sit on the big totem pole of victims.

  26. AlmightyJB

    Time to stop being lazy and hit the grocery store. Guess I’ll look for some Barleywine while I’m there:)

  27. Tulip

    OT, but seems appropriate for a nerd beer thread.
    What have you done for science?
    https://mobile.twitter.com/vectorgen/status/1088574938158678016

    1. In undergrad, I participated in a compensated study on the effects of nicotine on semen parameters. I had to, erhm, make a deposit twice a week for a month as a control, then do another twice a week stint but this time smoking five cigarettes a day. And I got paid!

      Who can argue with getting paid to smoke and masturbate?

  28. Nephilium

    Made it down to Masthead, and it’s a zoo here. It took me 20 minutes to get a beer. Looks like this will be a one and done. Now to decide where to next.

    1. Nephilium

      I have many my way to Southern Tier, making it true that I’ve been to every brewery in Cleveland.

  29. 61North

    Q,

    Did you ever buy any land up here?

    1. Not yet. Didn’t find anything in my price range that I fell in love with so I’m gonna save up some more. Everything I found with the cash I had on hand was a bit too remote and unimproved for what I want. It’s still definitely going to happen though. Probably coming up again this Fall with more lucre.

    2. Next time I’m up there, we should try to meet up.

    3. I’m also thinking of expanding my search into Fairbanks (the open air asylum ?) since you can get more for your money.

      1. 61North

        Hmmm….

        Probably best to sit this out for a bit. The state gov’t finances are in the shitter and I think we’re headed for a deep recession since oil prices probably aren’t going to rise. There’s a new governor whose campaign was “I’m tall and I’ll give you a full PFD.”, which, while sounds good ain’t gonna work.

        I’d also take a look around the Copper River Valley or the 40-Mile country. Cheap, remote, no building codes/permits!!! but cold as fuck in the winter time. I was out there a few weeks ago and it was -51. Dang.

        I mostly lurk but my email is in my profile for when you make it up next time,.

        1. Sweet, thanks. I do really like the area around Copper Center, so I’ll think on it.

      2. BakedPenguin

        Just curious, Q – where’d you look, and what was the average $/acre? (61 North, feel free to chip in)

        1. 61North

          There’s a huge variance in $/acre so it’s hard to say. Up in Chugiak, a ‘suburb’ of Anchorage will run you ~100k an acre. But that area generally has easy access to power and nat gas. Go out to the Mat-Su and the price drops and power/gas access gets iffy.

          https://www.alaskarealestate.com or Zillow will give you a good idea. This site has poorly written descriptions and a bad lay out, but gives a pretty good summary of various areas when it comes to prices: http://www.remoteproperties.com

          1. BakedPenguin

            Thanks, I think you told me all I need to know. I knew AK was expensive, but for some reason thought that land might be an exception (given how large the state is).

      3. Plinker762

        Move to Bethel, that place is like a tropical paradise.

        1. 61North

          You sick fuck.

          1. Plinker762

            😉

            Now imagine being stuck there with a kidney stone trying to get a flight back to the world.

            I was on a flight out of Juneau and some woman was going on about how Alaska was so beautiful. I really wanted to ask her if she had ever been to Bethel.

          2. 61North

            Ouch. I spend $49 a year for LifeMed. Well worth it. I’ve been out at remote camps and dumpy villages and I’d tell those people ANYTHING to get the hell out if I had a kidney stone.

            The best Bethel story I heard was from a guy with Public Health Service who landed there mid-winter with his wife and six-month old. He was mayyyyyyybe 25 at this point and from the east coast. So the person who picks them up takes them to the AC and as they walk in the cashier is fighting with a drunk who was trying to drink the mouthwash they keep locked up. His wife grabs him by the jacket and tells him they will be there for exactly the length of the contract and not one damn day later.

          3. Plinker762

            I used to inspect and work on the radar site tramways at Tin City, Cape Romanzof and Cape Newinham. I didn’t mind getting weathered in at the radar sites but always shuddered at the thought of being stuck in Bethel. Hard to believe but it did get a little better there from when I first visited in 1996.

    4. The Bearded Hobbit

      Forgot that we had an Alaska glib. Mrs. Hobbit and I are planning to be there Aug-Sep if you want to get together for a beer.

      1. 61North

        Sure thing!

  30. The Late P Brooks

    I just shoveled a path out to the pickup truck, only to discover the left front tire is flat. Fuck. I’m not highly motivated to pull that wheel off and bring it inside so I can fix it.

    I guess I’ll have to drive the Explorer today. At least the drifts down the road have been mostly beaten down.

    1. I had flats on two different tires last week, and then my dad had a flat this week.

      1. Tundra

        Was it the bead or an actual hole? Cold weather can dry bad things to tires.

        1. One of mine supposedly had five holes in it and had to be replaced. 🙁

          1. Tundra

            Damn! Were they really old?

          2. A year and change.

            We had some work done on the driveway (gravel, not paved), and I have a feeling that may have had something to do with it.

  31. Hammercorps

    OT: I’m trying to find an article that I think was posted here a while back that was basically a summary of left-wing political violence in 1960s America, and comparing it to today. Does anyone remember what it is?

    Thanks.

    1. PudPaisley

      Not sure if this is what you’re looking for, but I saved it from another poster.

      https://status451.com/2017/01/20/days-of-rage/

      1. Hammercorps

        That’s the one. Thanks Pud.

        1. C. Anacreon

          Next ask Pud if he’s some day going to change his name to Doobie Brother.

          1. PudPaisley

            Pud Paisley would make a great band name.

          2. C. Anacreon

            The reason behind the comment was that the Doobie Brothers original band name was Pud.

          3. PudPaisley

            I did not know that. A couple friends had a band named Pud Paisley for a short time and that’s where I got the name. The band eventually became Aunt Beaph. They were…..different. Very original music and tons of fun live.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJD_rMwXpZA

      2. Rhywun

        Interesting lonnnnnnng read. (Still only a quarter though, sheesh.)

        1. PudPaisley

          There’s a lot of violence and fuckedupedness to cover.

          1. Rhywun

            It’s astonishing how much of this stuff has been memory-holed.

          2. The Bearded Hobbit

            When I was a teenager, back in the late 1960’s, the overwhelming concern was The Draft and The War. I was a Democrat because Ted Kennedy said that he’d end the war on the first day of his term.

            The SDS and The Weathermen (Weatherman, apparently) were radical and exciting, so naturally I wanted to be part of it.

            Jesus I was stupid at 16.

          3. And now you’re stupid in your 60s?

            /rimshot

            (Just kidding, of course.)

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          It’s a good one so far, thanks Pud

      3. Tres Cool

        Thanks for that. It was a good read.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    I had flats on two different tires last week, and then my dad had a flat this week.

    Fun times.

    I could call AAA and see how pissed off the guy is when he finds out what he got himself into.

    I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Not when it’s sitting in the driveway.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Local tire dealer spreading nails everywhere or construction?

  33. Spudalicious

    Just threw two turkey thighs on the smoker. I’ll sauté some veggies and toss it with some leftover wild rice I have in the fridge.

    Time to plan the booze regimen.

    1. AlmightyJB

      After I ice my knee, going to put some crafts I just bought in fridge to chill and pour a glass of bourbon.

      1. Tulip

        What happened to your knee?

        1. AlmightyJB

          I’m not sure. Jacked it up somehow. Been going on about 6 or 7 weeks. Have an appointment with the Ortho place Monday. Got done shopping at grocery store and it was very angry. Once it gets angry the slightest misstep causes shooting pain. I’ve had issues with this knee most of my life starting with Osgood-slaughter (sp?) in 8th grade, but this is different. I was walking a lot including a lot of stairs so I probably did something to it.

          1. The Bearded Hobbit

            I just went through two gout attacks on my knee. Is gout a possibility?

          2. AlmightyJB

            I don’t think so. Hopefully they will figure it out:) I have a feeling I did something to it walking so much and possibly going up and down 5 flights of stairs 2 or 3 times a day 5 days a week. And I’m not tiny:) I’m guessing I tore something.

    2. AlmightyJB

      If my wife starts bugging me about dinner I will suggest going to the local pub.

      1. Spudalicious

        Just mixed up a Milk & Honey. I’ve got some Pinot Noir left from last night to go with the smoked turkey.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Nice:)

        2. AlmightyJB

          Fixed wife a gin, lemon, and Sprite zero and me a bourbon with diet ginger ale. Ice back on knee.

          1. Tulip

            I’m thinking of making a martini

          2. AlmightyJB

            Do it!

          3. Tundra

            You’ve earned it!

          4. Tulip

            Awww, ice cold gin. Now, if I can get the cat to come snuggle with me while I watch tv, this will be a great evening.

          5. Tulip

            Aand, time for martini number two

          6. Spudalicious

            There you go.

        3. AlmightyJB

          She put a couple of artichokes in the instant pot so I guess we’re eating at home.

    3. Tundra

      Just salted down a tri-tip for tomorrow. Wife has a stew bubbling away for tonight.

      1. Spudalicious

        Have you tried smoked tri-tip? I’ll never again do it any other way.

        1. Tundra

          That’s what I’m doing! I like to brine it the day before.

          And yes, it is spectacular.

        2. The Bearded Hobbit

          Have you tried smoked tri-tip

          It’s a bitch to get lit. . .

        3. Tundra

          Spud, what do you use for a rub?

          1. Spudalicious

            50/50 kosher salt and black pepper. Same thing I use for brisket. I typically rub it down an hour before going in the smoker.

            225 on hickory usually takes about 1 1/2-2 hours to get to an IT of 132 and then a quick reverse sear.

          2. Tundra

            Last time I did pepper, paprika and garlic powder. I’ll try yours tomorrow!

          3. Spudalicious

            What I do is what Aaron Franklin does. The equal amounts allow you to use the pepper as a visual gauge for how much salt your using.

            SPOG is another favorite of mine. Salt, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder.

          4. Tundra

            I already salted them, so I gotta do the rest tomorrow. Pepper, onion and garlic will work, I’m sure.

          5. Spudalicious

            I’m sure it will turn out superb.

    1. Rhywun

      It’s worth remembering that anyone who wants to go anywhere in the Democratic party eventually has to bend over and kiss the ring of that fraudulent criminal Sharpton.

      1. BakedPenguin

        His ring if they’re lucky.

        1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          Depends on where the ring is.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Yes, we finally need a long conversation about race after ignoring it forever.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Shorter Joe Biden: Vote for your enlightened betters, you fucking ignorant troglodytes.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Creepy uncle Joe inappropriate toucher Biden may regret putting himself out there.

  35. I’ll take a look for that one – Ninkasi has been about 50/50 for me so far depending on type.

  36. AlmightyJB

    No Barleywine at Giant Eagle. Settled for a 6 pack of assorted yummy beer:)

    1. AlmightyJB

      At Giant Eagle I ask this guy if they had little plastic cups with lids like you would use for condiments or jello shots. So instead of try aisle 8 or something he goes all over the store looking, ask several other departments, can’t find them. So I go back to shopping and see him walking up with something in his hand. I guess they use them in their deli for something so he just grabbed me a bunch of cups and lids and put them in a container and gave them to me no charge. It’s nice to see someone going above and beyond like that. Last week, wife had slow leak in tire so she goes to Discount Tire whom we’ve done a bunch of business with and they patched it for free.

      1. Tundra

        I’ve used Discount Tire a lot and they always take care of me. Great service every time.

        You’re right, though. Good service really makes it easier to drop a lot of $$!

        1. AlmightyJB

          Yeah, Firestone jacked me around once and I’ll never go back. No reason to.

          1. Tundra

            I had a really good independent service shop that I used for years (including tires) Twice in a row, I got put on the elevator like I was a fucking newbie. Dropped them and spread the business out. Even started using the dealer with good results! DT has been solid for 5 cars and many sets of tires.

          2. Semi-Spartan Dad

            I’ve never heard anything but shady experiences at Firestone. I usually take the cars to Costco. I try to time it for one of their specials. They used to be buy 3 get the 4th free about 10 or 15 years ago. Now that tire prices have doubled, its gone to buy 4 and get 70 bucks off plus free installation.

          3. Tundra

            I actually timed things perfectly with DT. I got a $70 Bridgestone rebate and a 10% DT rebate on a set of snows.

          4. AlmightyJB

            Nice!

          5. Fuck Firestone. I went to one because my severely worn out tire finally shit the bed right next to one. They wanted me to fill out three/four pages of forms, “can’t you just slap a tire on and let me get on my way?”, Nope. And fuck AutoZone or Rielly’s or Best Buy and Radio Shack, why do you need my phone and email to sell me washer fluid or some AA batteries. It’s not even a privacy thing with me, I don’t much give a damn about that, it’s the waste of time.

          6. Don Escaped Texas

            “can’t you just slap a tire on and let me get on my way?”, Nope.

            #MeToo never went back

          7. Plinker762

            Their tires suck anyway. My buddy and I have a tire machine and spin balancer and we do our own tires.

        2. Nephilium

          Few things make up my mind more than service. For most things, that’s you’re enire purpose. You fuck that up, I’m done with you’re company. On the other hand, I’ll keep buying Western Digital hard drives and eVGA video cards because of good service

  37. Not Adahn

    More SHOT show fun:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMFHT4svtQI

    LH can have one hood mounted.

    1. DEG

      That looks like it will be fun.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I need all the guns.

  38. Looks like the Twitter banned a never Trumper for making prison rape jokes about Stone. While some people will be happy that the bannings are going both ways, I would prefer they let everyone say stupid shit.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I would think there would be a strong market for a competitor with no censorship but I don’t know. Dealing with all of the fascist politicians could get expensive. We need a sub-internet for actual adults.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Of course I’m not sure there are all that many actual adults around.

        1. Yeah, we need, LightenUpFrancis.com where the only reason you can get banned is if you try to get someone else banned.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            One would think that threatening violence and attempting to dox kids for wrong think would lead to a ban, but I think Twitter is just emphasizing that they’re a neutral platform in the same way that the NYT is an objective news outlet

      2. Subwoofer

        That was tired. Its called gab.ai and got ruthlessly attacked by entrenched interests. They’ve been deplatformed, demonetized, and more by all the infrastructure business that a modern social media network needs to stay afloat like payment processors

        The libertarian answer doesn’t work when starting up any alternative is impossible without also creating a duplicate for every infrastructure company.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          The libertarian answer doesn’t work when starting up any alternative is impossible without also creating a duplicate for every infrastructure company.

          Ethics don’t change just because something is difficult.

        2. AlmightyJB

          “without also creating a duplicate for every infrastructure company.”

          I don’t know about that, but I can certainly see advertising being an issue. It would likely have to be subscriber based which doesn’t seem to be a very lucrative model on the internet. Maybe there are some companies who love freedom out there.

    2. Rhywun

      The real crime is that the “joke” isn’t funny.

      1. Meh, a self-proclaimed sexual deviant (and I’m using deviant in the ‘deviates from the norm’ sense not the ‘it’s a sin and you’re going to hell’ sense) is going to jail where sexual deviancy is rampant (at least stereotypically) has some comedic value. How many jokes have been made about bringing back public flogging and how some people might break crimes just to be punished. Mel Brooks could have a field day with this stuff.

        1. ruodberht

          “Deviant” sure changed meanings vastly in the course of that comment.

          1. Brochettaward

            They’re making a rape joke. So that’s what’s being defended. And implying that Stone may swing the other way so he won’t mind being raped in prison.

            The characterization above referencing back to supposed (consensual) sexual deviancy is just a tad disingenuous. Shocking, I know, considering the source, but…

          2. Defending rape jokes! Oh My! Are you familiar with the Glibertarian.com website? Rapesquatch and pedophile jokes are the Humor du jour. Good god are you people really that offended by off-color jokes? Or is it that a Trumpster is getting skewered (so to speak.) John McCain and all the other (what’s Suthen’s term for them? Oh Yeah.) shit weasels deserve ass cancer but imply that a lifelong political shit bag might like a good non-consensual rodgering and I’m an asshole.

          3. Rhywun

            To be fair, I’m not a big connoisseur of ass cancer jokes, either. To each his own.

          4. ruodberht

            Exactly what I was pointing out. Classic equivocation.

        2. Rhywun

          What is his self-proclaimed sexual deviancy?

          1. He has bragged/talked about being a swinger/orgy-ist/try-sexual (he’ll try anything) etc.. Not judging, just saying.

          2. ruodberht

            When did he talk about liking being raped, Mr. Canonical Exemplar of the Fallacy of Equivocation?

          3. Never thought I’d see the day when libertarians were the ones telling Don Rickles and Andrew Dice Clay to cool it with the edgy jokes. Time was when getting the ‘That’s not funny’ treatment was a badge of honor, I guess we’re all Prissy Primrose now.

            Curious, what was the last Hillary or Obama joke that you were appalled by? did the ‘Michelle is a Wookie’ jokes elicit any condemnation from you Rodger Stone puritans?

          4. CPRM

            Meh, some of these guys got their morals wrapped in their politics, just as long as that chocolate stays out of my peanut butter! (DOG WHISTLE)

          5. Rhywun

            I’m not saying “that’s not funny” because I’m offended. I’m saying “that’s not funny” because it’s not funny.

          6. Fair enough, it’s subjective, But we all get to have our own opinions, that’s what makes the world go round.

  39. Mojeaux

    I am torn.

    I have a Ruger 380, an utterly impractical purchase if I ever made one. Money’s tight, I’m mad at myself for buying it instead of a plain ol’ 9mm, and I don’t have much extra for range fees and ammo. It’s also hard to find the ammo. I also bought the wrong ammo at Walmart after I was advised badly because I don’t know any better and can’t return it. So I go in my closet, see my gun safe, and get a sour taste in my mouth.

    I also have an ancient 410 shotgun that belonged to my grandfather. Never shot it. Don’t know what to do with it.

    Basically, I cannot afford to have this hobby (at least not for the foreseeable future) and want to sell my stuff. I don’t like the little thing, don’t like firing it, not gonna carry it because I don’t go anywhere I’d need it, and wish I’d gotten something different, which I now cannot afford. Mr. Mojeaux is ambivalent about the whole thing.

    Thoughts welcome, but I’m really just venting.

    1. I’m sure there are people here who would be happy to buy them off of you*.

      *I really mean help you have a boating accident in which the guns mysteriously go missing.

      1. Mojeaux

        I would be happy if it all went to a Glib, who would appreciate it.

    2. Not Adahn

      How much are you looking to get for them?

      1. Mojeaux

        I have no idea what they’re worth, and can’t remember what I paid for the Ruger (it would involve going into my storage room and digging). I have this safe we got brand new and I can’t find the keys.

        I had a S&W 9mm once upon a time I really liked, but again, money was tight and so I sold it at a gun store, so I figure I’ll just take it all to a store and see what happens.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      Sorry money’s tight; it’s hard for that not to put an edge on everything.

      .380ACP is tiny, so that’s nice in and of itself. Any chance you can trade it for a couple of nail guns or as payment for some subcontractor work?

      The .410 is uber handy and a keepsake. I’d load it with #4 shot for home defense but keep some #9 around for yard rats and noise, but don’t mess up the ammo purchase: there are different length shells, so get the ones that match your chamber (again, just like nails: don’t get 3″ magnum if you’re chambered for 2.5″ regular).

      1. Mojeaux

        it’s hard for that not to put an edge on everything

        You ain’t whistlin’ Dixie. Our pipe repair was a good $5k when it was all said and done and now our car is needing a lot of work.

        So, I look at the things I would like to do (not just going to the range) and grit my teeth.

        1. Tres Cool

          Im with Don on the .410. I had an opportunity to babysit one for 12-18 months while it’s owner vacationed at a house with a really big yard, and I was very sad to see it go home. Keep hold of it.

        2. Spudalicious

          Hock the .380, hang on to the .410.

          Good luck.

          1. Mojeaux

            Okay, I can do that.

        3. Fourscore

          Look at GunBroker and you can get some idea what others are asking for similar guns, a lot of them have a minimum reserve but that’s probably closer to the real price.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      It looks like the going rate is around $200. Low enough you should have no problem offloading it. You’ll get half that from an FFL.

      https://www.gunbroker.com/All/search?Keywords=*ruger%20lcp%20380

      9mm is definetely cheaper for practice. As is .38 special for that matter.

      1. Mojeaux

        Thank you!

    5. Sean

      Fwiw, don’t sell guns unless you HATE them.

      1. Mojeaux

        I do not like the 380. I am sentimentally attached to the .410, even though I have never fired it.

        1. Tundra

          Keep the shotgun.

          1. Tundra

            Whoops. Hit reply too quick!

            My grandfather gave me his Winchester Model 50. It’s an interesting shotgun that I never, ever shoot. I just like having it around.

    6. DEG

      I’m a bit late and see others posted about GunBroker. You can probably sell the ammo there.

      1. Mojeaux

        Yanno, selling just the misbought ammo would go a long way toward making that sting less. Thanks. Didn’t know I could do that.

  40. Tres Cool

    Father’s Day isn’t too far off: Ozzy Osbourne honors bat-biting anniversary with commemorative plush toy
    “Celebrate with this commemorative plush with detachable head”

  41. DEG

    It’s Saturday night, I’m starting my taxes, and I’m sober.

    Something is wrong.

    1. Mojeaux

      I feel your pain. I had my son do an initial receipt sort and they are awaiting my attention.

    2. 61North

      I did mine one year and ‘went with my heart’ on the whole math and deductions thing. It turns out the IRS is very black and white.

      You’re making the right choice.

    3. Nephilium

      I’m still waiting on paperwork. I’ve gotten one W-2 so far, and I’m not liking the current prediction for taxes.

      1. DEG

        I’m still missing some paperwork too. I thought I would get as much in as I have.

        I expect this will be a painful year.

        1. Nephilium

          Putting in the one W-2 with no deductions or statements from my mortgage company makes my taxes look frightening. Thankfully, I know those statements will help my situation.

          1. DEG

            I fucked up after the acquisition. My new employer offers a high deductible plan with a HSA. I signed up, but put too much money in the HSA. I have to pay a penalty.

            I also suspect my withholding might be too low. We’ll see once I get everything together.

          2. Rhywun

            That reminds me… I have a balance in an HSA from the losers who shitcanned me. Can I transfer that shit? They charge me a monthly fee!

          3. Don Escaped Texas

            Almost certainly yes . . . for a fee.

          4. DEG

            I was in the same situation for a HSA from a few employers ago. I had to close the account. This meant paying taxes on the money. As far as I could tell, since at the time I didn’t have a high deductible plan, I could not contribute to the HSA and I found no transfer options.

            I found this article on transfers after some searching. It looks like you might have to transfer to another HSA.

            I’d find someone knowledgeable about these things like a financial advisor/tax accountant to ask.

          5. Rhywun

            That’s where my HSA is. Thanks, I’ll check it out sometime. It’s basically free money from my employer, and not a dramatically huge amount, so it can wait.

    4. The Bearded Hobbit

      I have been building spreadsheets to forecast taxes for over 20 years. It’s easy to figure out how much your taxes are going to be and to adjust your withholding.

      For example, in 2020 I will owe $926 to the feds, based upon current trends.

      1. R C Dean

        This here. My finances can be kinda . . . complex, but a spreadsheet to get you in the ballpark isn’t hard.

      2. R C Dean

        This here. My finances can be kinda . . . complex, but a spreadsheet to get you in the ballpark isn’t hard.

  42. Tres Cool

    It shouldn’t be surprising that alcohol was involved .

    1. Spudalicious

      Saw that. Definitely a “hold my beer” moment.

    2. straffinrun

      Allegory for the migrant crisis?

      1. Spudalicious

        So migrants are the same as spiny catfish?

        Racist.

  43. Don Escaped Texas

    NewWife has 24 Hour Party People queued up because “I need to see it.”

    Q: are younger women worth it?
    A: she is making me a sammich and buys my favorite beer by the case.

    So you lucky bastards will have Saturday Free Chat without me.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      24 Hour Party People is a fun movie, particularly if you like the music. And Steve Coogan.

      1. Rhywun

        2002…. How have I not seen this?!

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        It’s fun so far, and, mostly, she’s thrilled with my patience.

        She still listens to this stuff. To me it’s just the pop drivel playing in the lobby of the girls’ dorm you had to listen to while waiting for your date to come down. Left to my own devices in those days (Reagan), I was listening to a range that ran from Willie Nelson to Steely Dan to Mollie Hatchet with no stops in Manchester. Synthesizers were a turn-off because I believed that real music can always be played unplugged around the campfire without suffering (still more than a little truth to that). And Brit kids sound, dress, and carry themselves like the dopeheads I avoided back then (I’ve still never taken an illicit drug; I still don’t care if you do).

        If we were watching a music movie for me, well, I haven’t seen The Kids are Alright, The Wall, or Eight Days a Week in decades. Getting mighty close to Manchester there, Donnie boy? Yuh, but Pete and George were (obviously) profoundly influenced by John Lee Hooker, Carl Perkins, and Steve Cropper, some super cool neighbors of mine; Pete would have zero problems at the campfire. There is one solid, tasty guitar solo I recall from all that stuff and will shout out if I remember it.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          Love Will Tear Us Apart is the worst song in history not on a Chipmunks Christmas album.

          Fight me.

          1. Tundra

            Uh, are you talking about Joy Division?

            *drops gloves*

          2. Rhywun

            I’m hesitant to enter any “my music is better than your music” cripple-fight but… I will only posit that there’s a good dozen or two better Joy Division tracks than that one.

          3. Don Escaped Texas

            Geez, it ain’t gonna look good if the big redneck takes a beating off a Joy Boy. So we apologize unreservedly and we retract and withdraw these comments. We apologize to Joy Division for any distress that our opinion caused.

            * runs into woods leaving truck running *

          4. Tundra

            *smiles, takes truck, pulls up JD on Spotify and goes to get Rhywun for drinks*

          5. Festus

            *hesitantly raise hand* “I like “Digital”.

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          everybody wants to rule the world is the tune with the useful guitar in it: cool tone and attack that makes waiting through the blather worth it.

    2. Festus

      That movie made me want to go on a noogey-spree.

    3. CPRM

      I would agree, but work has this stuck in my head.

  44. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

    I’m so fucking sick of politics. Maybe it’s the quality of my Facebook feed but it’s either smug bullshit or whiny bitching. If it weren’t for my widely scattered friends I’d delete my account.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      you’re doing it wrong: Facebook is for pictures of grandbabies. The rest you squelch

      1. Mojeaux

        ^^^This.

      2. straffinrun

        He’s doing it right. Sounds like other people are doing it wrong. Delete them.

    2. Rhywun

      Your friends probably have your email address. Ditch FB. You know you want to.

      1. Nephilium

        I had some people I once considered friends who only communicated through Facebook, even though I made it clear I never joined, and never would. I’m fine with it, but they’ve had issues since then.

      2. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

        Other than using Facebook marketplace for car and computer parts and my own company FB page.. well I’m starting to come around to your way of thinking.

        1. Rhywun

          Facebook marketplace

          That’s a thing? Huh.

    3. Tres Cool

      Evidently, facebook is also for pee drinking.

      1. Chafed

        This should aid natural selection.

        1. Festus

          I ditched facebook because it was full of hungry divorcees from my past. Jesus, post something on my wall and you don’t think my Wife and kids will see it? Then you get arseholes pinning pictures from 35 years ago. Much witty, So laugh.

  45. LJW

    Just finished watching the Punisher 2nd season. It wasn’t really anti-right, like some made it out to be. Definitely a check your brain at the door series.

  46. Nephilium

    So in levels of craziness, the girlfriend’s grandparents had held onto some Cuban cigars they had picked up before the travel embargo. They were not stored in a humidor (they put them in a closet), but they are in glass tubes. They were handed over to me. Is there any chance to bring these back to life, or should I just cry for a bit and toss them?

    1. Spudalicious

      That’s a crap shoot. If they weren’t in the sealed glass tubes, adios. But if they look like they’re in good shape, pop one and spark it.

      1. The Bearded Hobbit

        Do the “roll them around your ear” thing to see if they are not dried out.

    2. LJW

      Are the tubes sealed? Air tight?

      1. Nephilium

        They’re in glass tubes, but it looks like a cork stopper. Some of them still have a band around the cork. If it gives you an idea of the age, there’s a price sticker on the inside of the inside of the cigar box that shows a price of 50 cents. No mold or other growth noticeable on them.

        1. LJW

          If you have a local cigar shop they probably have someone who can tell you if it’s good. A classy joint not one of those discount tobacco stores.

          1. Nephilium

            I’ve got a couple of friends who are more into cigars then me. I may gift them with one to get a feel if they are salvageable.

        2. Spudalicious

          If you have a humidor and the cigars look like they’re in good shape, leave them in the sealed tubes and toss them in the humidor for a month.

          Cigars can get too old and go stale, but it’s worth the effort.

          1. straffinrun

            What happens if you smoke a bad cigar?

          2. Spudalicious

            It tastes like crap and you throw it away. Wash your mouth out with whiskey to get rid of the taste. If you smoke cigars at all, you will instantly recognize a bad one. Acrid and ashy.

          3. straffinrun

            Then Neph should just light it up and see how it tastes.

          4. Spudalicious

            Humidity is an issue. If the tube is still sealed, it should be fine. If it’s in question, my suggestion of tossing them in a humidor for a month while still in the tube is appropriate. A dry cigar smokes just as bad as a stale cigar. And bringing the humidity up too quickly will cause the wrapper to unravel.

          5. straffinrun

            Now I get it. He doesn’t want to waste it if he can bring it back to life. But, you won’t get sick from a bad cigar. OK.

          6. Nephilium

            I’d say the tubes are questionable. I’m really thinking they need to be in a humidor for a while to at least attempt to make them enjoyable. I’ve reached out to a friend who has a humidor to see if he would be interested in one of them.

    3. Tundra

      Who gives a fuck? Cigars taste like ass!

      1. LJW

        I’ll take the smell of pipe tobacco or cigar over cigarettes any day.

        1. DEG

          Seconded.

      2. Rhywun

        Someone gets it.

      3. Nephilium

        Never were a smoker, were you? There’s a couple of cigars I enjoy on the rare time I can sit and smoke one (and don’t have to worry about a nicotine test for work soon).

        1. Tundra

          Never. I’ve been gifted super expensive cigars and they don’t taste any better than the cheap shit. Why on earth would you smoke anything that doesn’t get you high?

          1. Spudalicious

            Smoke enough of a good cigar and you will definitely get a buzz. Especially when paired with a glass of bourbon.

            See my avatar.

          2. Nephilium

            For me, it’s a flavor thing. I’m one of those strange people who enjoyed the taste of tobacco from the first time I tried it. I also enjoyed beer and whisk(e)y from the first time I tried it as well (much to the dismay of my father).

          3. Spudalicious

            That’s why I never joined most of my family and smoked cigarettes. They taste like chemicals, not tobacco. I smoked a pipe for a while and currently enjoy cigars in the warm, summer months.

          4. Rhywun

            I’m not a cigar fan but I’ll take it over a “cigarillo”. That is hands-down the absolute worst thing I have ever tasted.

          5. I my tobacco days, I actually tended to prefer cheaper (but still decent) cigars, because they tasted more like cigarettes.

          6. Festus

            Colts Mild is good on the golf course!

      4. Spudalicious

        You’re been tasting ass?

        1. Tundra

          Starbucks.

          *shrugs*

          1. Spudalicious

            Fair point.

    4. DEG

      I’ve heard of people bringing dried out cigars back to life, but given how old they are, I don’t know.

      1. straffinrun

        The Clinton method?

        1. Tres Cool

          #ShesMyHumidor

          1. Festus

            “My Cherie Humidor, You’re the only one that I adore…”

    1. LJW

      This is the future socialists want.

    2. DEG

      A guy I used to know lived in China for a while in the late 90s/early 00s to study Mandarin.

      He told me he always took a roll of toilet paper with him whenever he left his apartment.

      1. straffinrun

        10~15 years ago it wasn’t unusual to come across public toilets without TP. You always took the free tissues advertisers were handing out on the street for that reason.

    3. Akira

      As an aside, I hate this popular notion that using more paper products is leading to fewer trees on the planet. They don’t seem to understand how the paper industry works. It’s like they think paper companies are just chopping down trees from parks and arboretums or something.

      If you go to the grocery store and purchase tomatoes, are you hastening the global decline of tomato plants? It’s obviously absurd when you apply it to any other product derived from a plant, but for some reason, people forget that when it comes to paper and trees.

      1. C. Anacreon

        Yup. No one ever avoids corn on the cob to “save the corn”, but how many emails have you gotten that say to please “consider the trees” before printing?

        Paper recycling plants are horribly toxic and expensive too. Several Superfund cleanup sites were former paper recycling centers.

        1. Akira

          I don’t see why you’d even have to recycle paper; it’s something that decomposes very quickly. If I think of it, I put paper in my compost pile. Within a month, there’s no trace of it.

        2. Semi-Spartan Dad

          but how many emails have you gotten that say to please “consider the trees” before printing?

          For some reason, I’ve only seen these associated with HR employees.

      2. straffinrun

        Great point. I’ll use that.

  47. straffinrun

    I’m having a moral dilemma. Naomi Osaka is all over the news after her win at the Aussie Open. I could applaud the Japanese for embracing a half Japanese person as one of their own or I could wag my index finger at them for not extending the same courtesy to other half Japanese people. The former seems like a good way to move forward, but the latter gives me the thrill up my spine that comes with self righteousness. Whaddaya do?

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      One takes every individual on his merits.

      Even as heterogeneous as Japan arguably is, there still is no “Japanese.” Each man deserves to be heard out with zero weight given to what his neighbors or apparent tribe might seem to think.

      1. straffinrun

        Personally, I’ve liked her since I first saw her play. Polite and humble despite being at the top of the game (arguably). My question is more about the public’s attitude towards a hafu.

        1. She’s going to be the new #1 on Monday when the new rankings are released.

          1. straffinrun

            Fun to see how she plays at The French Open and Wimbledon this year.

    2. egould310

      Join in. Congratulations to the tennis player who won the Aussie Open who shares half-ethnicity with Japan. If this is the best the Japanese can do, then congratulations to them too.

    3. Rhywun

      I just think of her as American. She was raised here from the age of 3. Kinda surprised she plays for Japan, TBH.

      1. The USTA wasn’t willing to find her, from what I understand.

        1. Fund, not find.

      2. straffinrun

        Her overall Japanese is much worse than mine, but her pronunciation is better. It’s weird.

    4. I was rooting for Kvitová. Nothing against Osaka, though.

      1. Rhywun

        I didn’t have a dog in that fight. I usually lose interest at the business end of tournaments as everyone I root for loses.

        1. I’ve stated my opinion her before that Kvitová’s comeback story is much better than Serena’s.

          1. Rhywun

            She’s the one with the gimpy hand after the home invasion, right?

            I did get a little thrill when Serena lost.

            I didn’t see lot of the ladies but I saw some of Anisimov (sp?) and wow. I liked Barty too.

          2. Yes, that’s the Kvitová story.

            The Aussie I always think about is Alicia Molik, who was on the verge of the Top 5 when she developed a case of vestibular neuritis that destroyed her career.

      1. CPRM

        That picture didn’t even show her Japanese half. I couldn’t tell if she had a sideways vagina at all. *Considered being a priest, post on Glibs instead*

        1. straffinrun

          Perfect satire (if satire) of how the Japanese think about this stuff. Hell, during the Olympics, the networks here zoom in on the Japanese runner so that it looks like he’s running by himself. Sometimes they don’t even mention who won, just what place the Japanese runner came in.

          1. CPRM

            You had me until ‘himself’. Ruining my image of a Japan filled with girls with pixelated vaginas.

        2. MikeS

          Uhh…look a little closer at the pic. Definitely not sideways.

      2. Rhywun

        LOL – American television was kind of obsessed with her Japanese half, too. Probably not to the same extent.

  48. kinnath

    Since we don’t have coming attractions today, I’ll just mention my first mead article will be posting next Saturday afternoon.

    1. But Enough About Me

      Awesome!

      I love mead, and have posted about the wonderful offerings at Fallentimber Meadery in Alberta a number of times; you’ve now reminded me to go get a bottle of their Dry out of the cellar and chill it off for dinner.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      Solid. I could drive to Elaine in 100 minutes from where I sit.

    2. Tundra

      Perfect.

  49. Festus

    Gah. Whatta weekend. Laptop blew up and did a brake job on the Wifey’s car today. No euphemisms… I’m getting to old to crawl around in the dirt. Again, no euphemisms…

  50. commodious spittoon

    File under: Sure thing, champ.

    choppy weiner
    choppy weiner
    @transscribe
    You can taunt journalists with “learn to code” all you want but you can’t run from the fact that if you switched jobs for 6 months, the journalists would be better coders than you would be at journalism.

    1. That’s not even a fact.

    2. straffinrun

      Proof that “learn to code” is the best taunt since the NPC meme.

      1. CPRM

        Next step should be ‘learn to code NPCs’. Not that I give a shit, this is more rich people talk as far as I’m concerned.

    3. Festus

      What an arrogant cunt.

    4. Nephilium

      So, how drunk was choppy weiner when they wrote that? FFS, I could be a journalist without an issue now (without the fact that I’d take a huge pay cut), while I’d love to see a journalist try to do phone support for a week.

    5. Rhywun

      L O L

      At best, it’s a wash – only because the two professions are so different.

      I have no doubt I would be a terrible journalist if only because it seems full of the kind of BS I would never tolerate.

      1. CPRM

        I decided I would never do the news part of media, because I’d just piss everyone off and get blackballed.

        1. I was a newsreader at the college radio station. It disabused me of the idea of going into journalism or broadcasting.

          I was on duty the morning the first President Bush threw up in the Japanese PM’s lap.

          1. CPRM

            +1 ‘from the wire’

          2. Oh, and the old AP wire machines were fucking *loud*

          3. CPRM

            It was all internet by my time. But the fact that you were supposed to just use their copy showed how shallow the whole process was.

          4. CPRM

            My first news writing course they gave an AP wire and said, ‘write your story from this’ and I said it didn’t give enough information.

          5. C. Anacreon

            I had a college radio show and used to ‘rip and read’ the AP teletype machine news. Yes, they were very loud. My main memory is breaking the news that John Lennon had been shot, and then, a few minutes later, pronounced dead.

          6. CPRM

            Wow, my most surreal moment on air has been finding out Oklahoma City had a basketball team.

      2. straffinrun

        Monkey at keyboard more likely to accidentally write a functional code or a Buzzfeed article?

    6. Spudalicious

      Wow. Eviscerated immediately in the comments.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          That left a mark

    7. Akira

      Yea, I don’t think that the typical journalist would be a very good coder. They come from a world where your credentials and status reign supreme, not the actual results of your work. It’s a field where you don’t ever have to deliver tangible, real-world value.

      I can just envision some mainstream media dipshit being told that his code is full of bugs… “How dare you! I have a computer science degree from COLUMBIA!!!!!!”

      1. CPRM

        +1 “I’ve worked in the private sector. They expect results!”

    8. mikey

      Anybody ever hear of anyone being unable to hack it a journalism and then switching to engineering?

      1. C. Anacreon

        I have journalist friends and respect the profession in general, although I’ve seen TDS destroy even some of the best over the past few years. But I doubt any of them would be STEM candidates. Put it this way: you can be a journalist for your elementary school newspaper. But you wouldn’t want a 5th grader making medical decisions for you, or designing your building.

        1. Akira

          I could have major respect for a journalist who:

          1) Puts in the effort to get all the facts relevant to the issue
          2) Delivers those facts without making insinuations

          Unfortunately, that’s not what most journalists seem to do. Most of them have decided to become anti-Trump activists, and they’ll ignore facts they don’t like, exaggerate other facts, and engage in all kinds of ridiculous conjecture to make sure that the reader/viewer walks away with the “correct” opinion. I have nothing but contempt for these types of journalists. They’re nothing but propagandists.

          1. CPRM

            The ‘Jump to Conclusions Mat‘ would have been a big seller if it came out a few years later.

        2. “respect the profession in general”

          I respect it in the same way I respect blacksmithing; a lost art that hardly anyone actually does anymore.

          1. CPRM

            HEY! I would actually be interested in learning black smithing!

          2. Akira

            #MeToo

            Taking up a craftsmanship hobby has been “on my list” since I became a homeowner – and a garage owner – in 2014. In particular, I want to make knives. I thought I might start by purchasing “blanks” and grinding them to the desired shape, then making a handle out of wood.

          3. Don Escaped Texas

            You can take crafty classes at the Memphis Metal Museum which has fabulous oaks and grand view.

            They know a lot, but watching and listening I’ve learned they don’t know what they don’t know. My uncle’s a farrier, and I love talking shop with him and understanding the same things about steel from our own views. He knows colors and when to quench based on color; I’ve shown him the curves that give pearlite, ferrite, and martensite. The “teachers” at the museum never hint at any real understanding of steel, but they’re the go-to guys if you want to learn how to hammer out a pretty ivy leaf that will look good for at least a week or so.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            The Essential Craftsman channel on YouTube does blacksmithing not my thing so I skip those,but I find the others interesting.

  51. Don Escaped Texas

    the girlfriend’s grandparents

    I could talk like that

    1. CPRM

      When I was about 8 I attended (from Wisconsin) a wedding in South Carolina. This kid comes up to my family and says in (what in my remembrance) a sort of southern accent mixed with a weird cockney style accent and says, “You talk like the people on the TV”

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        a wedding in South Carolina

        I can still talk like that

      2. Akira

        a sort of southern accent mixed with a weird cockney style accent

        I think I’ve heard that accent from a customer who called me at work from the Virginia area… It may be connected to these people.

        1. CPRM

          I done think I did worcth that bfore.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Guineamen.

          I know quite a few. The accent isn’t really that prevalent anymore.

    2. Nephilium

      Don, if you’re still around, looks like I’ll be in the Memphis area a couple times in the next couple of months. Germantown area to be specific. Any recommendations for restaurants in that area?

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        My old favorite Iris fell apart in its recent reset. Acre is over-priced or over-rated but classy digs and solid arm-candy abounds; maybe get a drink on the patio. Paulette’s is very nice and on the river, but, oddly, almost no place in town has a good view

        except, I’m not kidding, the restaurant in the top of the Pyramid. You’ve got to wade through the bubbas in the Bass Pro downstairs (still not kidding) and pay a toll to take the elevator, but they kick back that fee if you have a meal up there. Get up there in time to have a drink and watch the sun set over Arkansas (when is the sun not setting on Arkansas, amirite?!?) and then the menu is pretty much upper middle-class American dreck . . . maybe short ribs?

        Germantown is out east, a bedroom community, so I’m not going to know anything about that except that Germantown Commissary is solid comfort food. The Blue Plate in east Memphis is traditional breakfast. Memphis Pizza Cafe is probably the best pizza in Germantown. Beaucoup hot moms out there, but be warned: lots of them went to Ole Miss.

        Barbecue is about dives, so Payne’s (I’m glad to ride shotgun; you’ll need it) in an old service station. Best cityboy q is Central, the downtown joint, not the original: cool folk murals. Bar-b-q Shop on Madison is good but limited beer selection. Rendezvous is the shop of record but full of tourists; the wall-hangings can be intriguing, but their specialty is dry-rub ribs, not my thing. The official meal of the city is the pulled pork sandwich; our sauce runs to the sweet side, so I hit it with some pepper sauce or something Cajun to heat it up; slaw (don’t say the full “cole slaw” unless you want them to know you’re an other) is standard; it’s the sweet and mayo type, not bitter, and I can’t imagine life any other way, but say so up front if you don’t want it . . . it’s assumed.

        Gus for fried chicken, but take out: it’s a zero-atmosphere block building with no windows; it’s hot but not Nashville hot. Soulfish for catfish; it’s only okay, great local beers on tap, get the Cajun cabbage as your side.

        Pope Jimbo was in school here the last time Beale Street mattered (GHWB41); avoid tourist traps at all costs.

        Best burger for 40 years is Hueys on Madison; music on Sat and Sun. Solid pizza and sandwiches: Trolley Stop. Kidstuff, sandwiches, great beer selection, pool tables and tats: Young Avenue Deli

        Best music place that has decent food: Lafayette’s; great beer selection, unspectacular jambalaya.

        Do not eat sushi, Italian, Chinese, or Mexican in this town unless it’s to win a bet.

        Hot girls: Babalu in Overton Square. Our women will make you ache, so maybe do some sort of pregaming IYKWIM so your heart doesn’t jump out of your chest in there.

        1. Nephilium

          Thanks man, I appreciate the info. I went to Gus’s last time I was out there. Good cheap food, but yeah, not much in the way of atmosphere. Didn’t get a chance to hit up Beale Street when I was there last (they flew me in Monday, and flew me out Friday). If you want to meet up for a pint or a meal, feel free to hit me up at my handle at gmail. From what I’m hearing from the work, the next trip down there will be in February, and then again in June.

  52. egould310

    Well, off to Newport Beach for dinner and drinking. Sorry to all Glibs fighting subzero temps; I’m wearing board shorts, a t shirt, and flip flops.

    1. egould310

      Oh wait. The place we’re goingis fancy. I’m putting on a cool vintage Hawaiin shirt.

      1. Nephilium

        That’s why I go bowling shirts for fancy food during Viva Las Vegas.

        1. egould310

          There’s a nice scarlet and gray shirt right on the front page. Have fun in Vegas.

          1. CPRM

            U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V!

          2. egould310

            TOSU

          3. CPRM

            U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V! U-N-L-V!

        2. Rhywun

          One of my oldest friends wears that shit every time I see him, which, admittedly, is only at parties any more but that era is definitely his thing.

          1. Akira

            I have one of those shirts (black with broad grey stripes on either side). I like it; it’s kind of a Tony Soprano look.

          2. Rhywun

            I learned a *long* time ago that there was no way I was ever going to pull off a “look”.

            Well, “slob” is a look, I guess. But one that requires the exact amount of effort I’m willing to put into it.

          3. Festus

            ^^^ Rhywun gets it. Dress for comfort and for speed. Jeans and T-shirts and layers in the winter.

          4. Nephilium

            It’s not necessarily a look as much as I’m a lazy son of a bitch. So it’s either bowling shirts or work shirts for me as everyday wear. Polo shirts for work, since I’m representing two companies. I’m thinking the next time I’m traveling to the home office, I’m not going to trim down the beard (which I did last year when I was down there).

          5. CPRM

            Black V-neck, gives the I don’t care/still sort of professional look, the bad boy of the office.

          6. Festus

            Yet another band that I like one song from. I want a girl with a short fuse and a looooong memory! (my Ex, to a tee.)

          7. Akira

            I’m the opposite; I like to be a bit on the dressy side. Unless I’m jogging or mowing the lawn, I’m usually in dress pants along with a button-up shirt, a polo, or a “camp shirt” for the summer months. People sometimes ask me if I ever wear jeans, and they’re always befuddled when I tell them that I don’t even own a pair of jeans.

            I also like ties and bowties, and I’ll look for any excuse to put them on. A suit or tie would be wildly out of place at my current job, but I think I would wear them every single day if I had plenty of disposable income and no reason to “dress down”.

          8. CPRM

            Funny, I go to work in jean cutoffs and mow the lawn in a suit and tie.

          9. Don Escaped Texas

            I also like ties

            now you’ve done it

          10. l0b0t

            A bit late but this is a fun topic. I was quite the clotheshorse back in high school and Army days. Nothing but suits or slacks and nice shirts – always with a bolo, bow, or skinny tie. Matching alligator shoes and belt or loafers with Liberty dimes in them, etc.. Now, I’ve turned into my stepdad. Cutoff shorts unless forced by weather into my 1 pair of jeans. Land’s End seersucker shirts until it gets chilly then Land’s End mock-turtlenecks. Danner boots at work, high-top Chuck Taylors, Israeli paratrooper boots, or barefoot when off. Formal events call for kilt (my grandfather’s regimental Canadian Army issue) and Ike jacket.

      2. Spudalicious

        I larf every time I pair a Tommy Bahama shirt with my $16 Wranglers.

        1. egould310

          Tommy Bahama was a good man. Served with him in ‘Nam.

    2. CPRM

      Yeah, it was -23 here at 6am. I made a few jokes about ice fishermen not having to worry about the ice melting. Always looking for the silver lining.

      1. Festus

        We’re lucking out here on the West Coast thus far. I spent the afternoon outside turning wrenches in nothing but a hoody and sweats. El Nina FTW!

        1. CPRM

          Your damn fern measurnments fooled ye! Now you done lost a toe ta frostbite! Hehe!

          1. Festus

            No joke, I’ve lost skin on my fingers and toes to frostbite when I was a kid. Temps used to dip to 40 below every winter. The circulation never really comes back. Global warming? Oh fuck yes, please!

      2. Tulip

        Do not miss that weather at all.

        1. egould310

          I was born in Cleveland, and grew up in tural Indiana. I fucking never iked the cold.

          I was living in Bloomington Indiana. Christmas Eve 1992. Talking on the telephone to my friend/bass player who moved to Long Beach California. Getting drunk. Snow falling. 8 inches in 2 hours. Temperature dropping by the minute. Bythe time we finished the call, I was all, “See you on January 3rd”. I packed my drums, guitars, amps, clothes, and a decent record collection into my Toyota pickup and split on New Years Eve. Been in LA for 25 years. Played in bands. Took drugs. Had adventures. Band fell apart. Met my wife (local gal). Had more adventures. Love LA.

          Thinking of moving to Seattle. Heading up there in three weeks to check it out.

          Looking like we are on another adventure.

  53. creech

    Speaking of taxes, my guesstimate shows I got no tax savings at all. The increase in std. deductions is not as much as my itemized deducts were last year (and a big one, financial management expenses, can no longer be itemized.) A few other folks I know are all realizing their tax burden didn’t drop as much as they anticipated after all the “tax cut” hooplah. Sounds like some
    Glibs aren’t making out too well too. With another filing due in 2020 before the elections, will the Dems get more traction on the “all the savings went to the rich?” What do you think: should Trump and the GOP skewed the benefits a little more toward the middle income folks?

    1. Festus

      Heh, you said STD deduction!

      1. KSuellington

        The chlamydia deduction is a one time thing, while the herpes deduction is reoccurring!

        1. CPRM

          Not with Valtrex! TM

    2. It wouldn’t have mattered. Most of the Dem base already doesn’t pay taxes so it was irrelevant who got the cuts.

      1. CPRM

        You sound like that racist republican anti-trumpist Romney!

      2. creech

        No, they’d be attacking anything that didn’t add to the burden of the rich. But I’m talking about some middle income guys who will realize a hundred bucks savings when maybe they thought they’d be getting $300. Maybe their votes will be swayed at $100 but wouldn’t have been at,say, $500.

        1. See Double You

          I’m middle to upper-middle income ($70,000) and I’ve saved about five hundred dollars in federal income tax compared to last year.

      3. Festus

        47%! Binders full of women! RHEEEEEEEEE!

    3. dorvinion

      They’d bitch about the ‘rich’ getting a bigger benefit even if they somehow managed to make it so that everyone making under 100,000 paid nothing at all.

      Haven’t done anything yet but I expect I’m gonna be happier than I would under 2017 rules.

      1. Festus

        I’m relatively poor but I haven’t been sharpening my scythe just because someone else has it better than I. The ones that are calling for a revolution seem to live pretty comfortably, n’est pas?

      2. Gustave Lytton

        Me too. I was getting concerned at the end of the year that I was underwithholding. TurboTax says it’s not and comparison of the 1040 tables agrees. Low interest rates pushed us under the itemization threshold a couple years ago.

    4. Old Man With Candy

      We’re getting totally fucked because of our move for the new job.

      1. Festus

        Weather can be a cunt. I had a two week window between contracts one fall and seeing as we were flush with cash we decided to re-roof our house. It rained every day.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          I meant tax-wise since that expense is no longer deductible.

          1. Festus

            Ah. That could be worse but we actually had to re-mortgage and replace the house because of water damage.

          2. Spudalicious

            Are you back in America yet?

          3. Old Man With Candy

            Nope, we depart Thursday.

    5. The Bearded Hobbit

      The increase in the standard deduction for me was offset by the loss of the personal exemptions. I made extra payments in December and was fat, dumb and happy until I discovered the exemption loss. Going to have to pay over $2k.

  54. Get your STD deduction right here!

    http://archive.li/qcqBw

    A few mildly suggestive poses.

    1. Festus

      #36 and #38 have assumed the position.

    2. Spudalicious

      1 and 20 are special.

  55. robc

    Urgent care in the morning, ER at night.

    1. straffinrun

      Story?

      1. CPRM

        Prison rape.

        1. Ex-journalist trying to learn how to code.

          1. CPRM

            Same movie.

      2. robc

        3 yr old autistic daughter with feeding delay and the flu.

        1. straffinrun

          Tough times, man. Best wishes she gets better.

        2. Spudalicious

          Good luck.

        3. Festus

          Sucks when the wee ones are badly. Hoping for the best, Friend!

        4. Tundra

          Ugh. Sorry, man. I hope she gets better fast.

        5. Akira

          Sorry to hear that – stay strong.

        6. Old Man With Candy

          Ouch. Fingers crossed for you.

        7. MikeS

          I hope she beats that flu real quick.

        8. Mojeaux

          Yikes.

          Good luck. ER visits are awful.

    2. Nephilium

      Damn man. Hope everything works out for you.

    3. C. Anacreon

      That sounds like it could become a good maxim.

      Sort of like:

      Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.

      Red sky at morning, sailor go bowling.

      1. Festus

        Red sky at morning, sailor go boweling?

    1. straffinrun

      “One reason my colleagues and I are focused on a Republican primary challenge to Trump—apart from the fact that we’re Republicans—is that it doesn’t present any of the problems of inadvertently helping him by being a spoiler,” Kristol wrote in an email.

      “Inadvertently helping him”. This guy has never read Oedipus Rex.

    1. Rhywun

      Teen Vogue passed on that story – too tame.

    2. Spudalicious

      Really, WTF? They actually had to do an article on the obvious?

  56. So The Last Jedi is an abomination. It is known.

    One question: how the the Empire go from being overthrown to all of a sudden being the Empire again and the Rebels become the New Republic and then The Resistance™?

    No makie sensie.

    1. Akira

      I have no interest in ever seeing anything outside the original trilogy, save for maybe the RiffTrax versions if they exist.

      1. CPRM

        My Myth and The Mouse article haz sad.

      2. Rhywun

        I have no interest in ever seeing anything outside the original trilogy

        #METOO

        1. Spudalicious

          ^^^^

          1. Gustave Lytton

            They made more movies?!

        2. MikeS

          +1 more old guy

    2. CPRM

      Taxes. *to be fair, it isn’t the Empire, it’s the First Order. But it makes no sense, just like Liea flying through space.

      1. The Bearded Hobbit

        L[ei]a flying through space.

        I think that was the moment that I said, “I’m done”

        1. CPRM

          I was done when JJ Abrams was aboard (he’s on record as not liking Star Wars, but that’s who they picked to helm it?)

    3. Festus

      I don’t understand how some silly movie franchise can twist the tails of so many “True Believers”. I liked the original and will freely cop to jumping around in my parents basement with a yardstick as a light-sabre but I was 12. 12 years-old… Just like when I was a little older, I made a punching bag after watching “Rocky”.

      1. straffinrun

        What did you do after watching “The Crying Game”?

        1. CPRM

          Pictured Festus.

          1. Festus

            If you only knew…

        2. Festus

          Smoked a joint, pondered my life choices. Went to bed and masturbated furiously.

      2. CPRM

        I grew up watching both Rocky and Star Wars. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

        1. Festus

          Did your parents take you to Apocalypse Now on Christmas Eve? That was a ‘memberin’!

          1. CPRM

            No, I wasn’t born yet, but Robocop was my Halloween costume in kindergarten.

  57. CPRM

    I get my little digs in. Today after talking about the end of the government ‘Shutdown. I played some Johnny Cash.

    1. Spudalicious

      That was special.

      1. CPRM

        You calling Johnny Cash a RETARD!? Calling someone a RETARD isn’t cool! I’ll kick your ass RETARD!

        1. Spudalicious

          I ended up doing a deep dive. What would Elvis have accomplished if he hadn’t gotten hooked on prescription painkillers?

          1. CPRM

            Not being helping Nixon with The War On Drugs for PR?

          2. CPRM

            Johnny Cash did drugs and lived a long life. Elvis was a piker.

          3. Spudalicious

            Johnny Cash saw the light and got clean. Elvis Presley died with 41lbs of shit in his colon from opioid induced constipation.

          4. CPRM

            died with 41lbs of shit in his colon

            Heard that same Urban Legend, except it was John Wayne.

          5. Gustave Lytton

            That’s a shitty way to go out.

          6. Festus

            Tone poems.

          7. l0b0t

            I once read a fellow who posited that had Elvis stuck with music and not gotten so involved in acting that the British Invasion would have either not happened or happened many years later.

    2. straffinrun

      I played some of this. Sting went Bollywood.

      1. Festus

        Good Lord, Indian women are among the best-looking and most homely on the planet. You guys can have your east asians.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I’ll take them all.

        2. slumbrew

          It’s a real bi-modal distribution. It is known.

      2. CPRM

        WeRe U LiVe oN ThA RaDiO FuCKNut!? I’m brave! TM

        1. Festus

          Bobs and vageeners?

  58. straffinrun

    Finally someone using Twitter the way it was designed to be used.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Weird

    2. Festus

      Straff >HM tonight!

      1. straffinrun

        Bedtime story for all the Glibs out there.

        https://twitter.com/jinsdoII/status/1089122131206643712

        1. AlmightyJB

          Worst porn site ever.

          1. straffinrun

            Go read CPRM and my collaboration “The Fern” if you want quality.

        2. Festus

          I hope that you miss another late night train and have to walk home in the drizzle.

        3. CPRM

          I don’t know if that’s gay porn or if it involves those Japanese women with cocks, either way I stopped reading. You’ve outdone both HM and SugarFree. Huzazah!

        4. Spudalicious

          “Cocklet”. Obviously Japanese.

          Poor, deformed bastards.

          1. Festus

            Cocklet. That’s a keeper!

  59. straffinrun

    Ingrates here. Last one and I’m off to the mother fucking mall. Music lesson for the kid. Anyways, my hope is that gloving means exactly what I’m imagining it to mean.

    1. slumbrew

      No way I’m googling that.

      1. Mojeaux

        Probably better than degloving.

        1. Rhywun

          ?

          1. Mojeaux

            Whatever you do, don’t google that …

          2. Rhywun

            Not a chance.

        2. Spudalicious

          I’ve seen much worse. Bad juju.

          Night, Glibbies.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Void If Damaged
      Void If Damaged
      @dying_vibe
      ·
      Jan 7
      Replying to
      @carson_davis0
      Been out of the scene for like 2 years now but mess around every now and then

      ructose Father
      @followpauldiva
      ·
      Jan 7
      Replying to
      @carson_davis0
      Too lazy to change the batteries for my gloves so here’s a finger show

  60. CPRM

    All right, I’ve been up since 4am local. Good Night Glibs,

    1. CPRM

      Oh, and goodnight moon. I don’t want to be shot with a Chinese laser from the dark side o the moon…

  61. robc

    Home. Thanks everyone. I think the corner is turned.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Huzzah!

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Excellent!

      1. Festus

        Hey Old Man! Present for ya! From my favourite Tull album! -https://youtu.be/Onbxxl5mlyA

          1. Old Man With Candy

            At the urging of one of my neighbors, who is an amazing musician who covers a lot of early Tull stuff, I bought the Steve Wilson remix version of Stand Up. I’m usually skeptical about that stuff, but it really was great.

            And you know I still have my original Island version on vinyl that I bought in 1969…

    3. Festus

      That’s good news, Rob!

    4. Chafed

      That’s good news. Glad to hear it.

    5. DEG

      Excellent!