On the Political Compass and What Truly Divides Us

The US has never been so divided. As the armies of California march through Utah burning everything in their path, one cannot help but wonder how we got here. Wait, no, there is no civil war, just twitter arguments about muh Social Justiz. Carry on. But in that scenario, would Utah put up a good fight? Is the terrain suited for guerilla warfare? What is the difference between military equipment stationed in Utah versus California? Will parts of California join Utah against the rest? These are all questions.

Libertarian used to mean socialist !!! They're thieves! They're thieves! They're filthy little thieves! Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us, our precious. Curse them! WE hates them! it's ours it is, and we wants it! We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little libertarianses. Wicked, tricksy, false!

The world is similarly split. What can we do about it (get drunk and say fuck it)? Can we understand it (nope… now where is that bottle of scotch)? Maybe if we have a political test or a sociological study (ice? What am I a savage? Where is my Glencairn glass). If we analyze what divides us maybe we can heal (right… good luck with that… ahhh peat smoke)

While annoying and right down aggravating, there is some fascination on how some otherwise competent people can so differ on the issues. It is amazing how they simply cease to use the reason and methods they do in other aspects of life, like a switch flips.  If you take a group of good plumbers or programmers or whatever, they tend to be good in relatively the same way, they often reach similar conclusions on how to do their job. These same people can have wildly different views on politics. Some ore stupid leftists, some are ignorant right-wingers, some are evil libertarians.

Among the actions taken by the current crop of political philosophers (there’s a bunch with useful skills in the post-apocalypse) is to analyze these orientation by means of political tests or compasses which get more and more complex, but remain equally worthless beyond having something to share on Facebook on a slow night when the cats are nowhere to be seen.

The classic left-right divide is thoroughly meaningless by now – if it ever was truly meaningful – though it still causes most divisions and even the wise Pie often uses words like left-winger and right-winger. The first wave of more advanced compasses have the already classic two dimensions economic and social, as if there truly is a distinction between the two. People are trying to innovate and add even further dimensions, although what use this has is beyond me. What point can it have to say well this on economy, this on social issues, and this in nationalism and this on the concept of colonizing Jupiter etc. It may become a way to split into finer grained groups, but brings not much insight or not much of a solution for what ails the world.

I am sure we can do better than this shit

For libertarians, it can be a little more straight forward. In the words of Bobby H:

“Political tags—such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal conservative, and so forth—are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbours than the other sort.”

The conclusion of this being, I don’t really care if someone who wants to impose his shit on me is doing it on the social or economic axis, often both. I would rather they just stop, please and thank you.

I can myself split people into various groups: those who understand the difference between what they want and what is possible, and those that do not. The difference between the thought that they want something and the thought that they somehow should get to force that something on others. The difference between seeing a problem and knowing a solution. The difference between what is seen and what is unseen when applying a certain policy. Believing you know better than others what is good for them and realizing you, in fact, do not know better. Utopians versus sane people. All these dimensions, in a way, divide us. But probably a lot of them are rendered moot by the Heinlein principle.

I will, as usual, randomly drop this quote right here cause it is one of my favorites.Pictured: not C. S. Lewis

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.
— C. S. Lewis

So what is your favorite compass? What questions would you add? Maybe we should make the Glib political compass.

I will start with a rough draft of Pie’s political compass, which can be left at just one question or expanded, but overall I think it may be self-sufficient, like the proud libertarians.

 

Pie will leave you be. Will you leave Pie be?

  1. Yes
  2. No
  3. Depends
  4. I don’t know
  5. Fuck off slaver
  6. That is literally hate speech
  7. As long as you don’t sin
  8. We live in a society you know, we’re all in this together
  9. But what about the children?
  10. I am Emily Ratajkowski (or equivalent) and I want to have sex with Pie
  11. STEVE SMITH LEAVE PIE BE AND BY THAT MEAN…
  12. Gravity is oppressive
  13. Other (you bunch of dirty otherers)
  14. All of the above.

 

Comments

250 responses to “On the Political Compass and What Truly Divides Us”

  1. Spudalicious

    I like pie.

    1. PieInTheSky

      Emily on the other hand has not been answering my letters

      1. Jarflax

        Did you enclose an ear?

        1. That only works for the Dutch.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            J Paul Getty disagrees

          2. There are two things in the world I can’t stand: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch.

      2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        Have you tried delivering the letters in person? Because that would totally not be weird.

      3. AlexinCT

        Send dick pics. HM tells me they are the way to a lady’s heart.

    2. WTF

      boobs

    3. Rebel Scum

      I, too, like warm apple pie. I like it in my mouth. What I am saying is that I kiss the whispering eye pie, if you take my meaning.

      1. PieInTheSky

        i don’t swing that way

          1. PieInTheSky

            you callin me a pussy? thems be fightin words

      2. WTF

        The Hat and The Hair also like Pie.

        1. I think the Hair appreciates her – the Hat…eh.

    4. Mad Scientist

      I would be rude not to eat her pie.

      1. slumbrew

        I would be rude not to eat her pie.

        Which I assume is not only hot, but also moist. Although hopefully not flaky.

  2. Spudalicious

    Mormons have a years supply of food on hand, the Mormon church has warehouses devoted to food storage, and they’re well armed. California soy boys would get their ass kicked all the way back to Elko. And then Nevada would finish them off.

    1. wdalasio

      I don’t think an all out fight would be necessary. The Governor of Utah could just call the Governor of Nevada and ask him to turn off California’s lights and water.

      1. Spudalicious

        You could also open a Starbuck’s and a Chipotle in Lovelock. That would slow them down for weeks.

        1. Rhywun

          Or a Chick-Fil-A, which would slow them down in a different way.

          1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            Or just a facade of a Chick-Fil-A to lure them in, like in Blazing Saddles.

        2. AlexinCT

          I get they would all line up to get jobs at the coffee shop, but what did the Chipotle have to offer these douches?

          1. Jarflax

            Diarrhea

          2. “Our entire army has the Bloody Flux!”

          3. Spudalicious

            You need to feed an army. And proggies love them some Chipotle. With only one in the middle of nowhere, the line would stretch for miles. The E. Colin is just a side benefit.

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        “The governor of Nevada has made his decision; now let him enforce it.” former colonel in the NG armor, now Marquis de la Hoover.

        1. R C Dean

          *former AF captain flies over, says hi. many times, very fast*

          1. Spudalicious

            We have an A-10 squadron at Gowen Field. You know when they’re flying over.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      I thought it was two years? Call needed by Gadianton, Mojeaux, or Leon.

      1. Some more, some less. I’m lucky if I have our 72-hour kits in good shape, although we do have enough food to last for a week, I think.

        But as a collective and with the Bishop’s Storehouses (including a Joseph-worthy grainery), Utah Mormons should have enough to last a long siege and feed everybody like it was Jesus handling 5 loaves and 2 fishes.

  3. commodious spittoon

    tl;dr

    (tiddies linked; distracted, right?

    1. Festus

      Ovation!

  4. Drake

    What is the difference between military equipment stationed in Utah versus California? Will parts of California join Utah against the rest?

    The military equipment in CA dwarfs Utah by several of orders of magnitude. Think Russia versus The Latvia. However, most of the men assigned to that equipment and not from California and not loyal to it. Most Soldiers and Marines in combat units would actively oppose the CA commies in a shooting war.

    In a civil war, every state in the union would come apart spectacularly along urban versus rural lines. CA is no exception.

    1. Jarflax

      I say we follow the Luthor plan and make that coming apart literal.

    2. PieInTheSky

      originally I wrote As the armies of California march through Texas to be more similar in size but changed to Utah cause it is closer

      1. Drake

        The army of California wouldn’t make it halfway across the Mohave Desert before running out of artisanal spring water and turning back.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Yup, even the Bay Area would come apart. People on my street are surprisingly heavily armed.

  5. Gustave Lytton

    Sorry Pie, gotta OT on your post

    RIP Stringfellow Hawke

    1. Timeloose

      Airwolf was my favorite show at the time. Calling all Jan Michel Vincents

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nLB4dU3Yc6M

      1. Festus

        He was gonna be the next whatever and then his career spiraled into the sea like a lotus blossom. Shame.

      2. ron73440

        I was 13 and knew that show wasn’t realistic, but it was COOL!

        1. Festus

          I was more Burt Reynolds vintage. We didn’t have a colour TV until I was a teen. Cable finally snuck up on us when I was 14. Before that it was two channels and rabbit ears.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      I’ll leave his cello playing scene, and put this here instead

      https://youtu.be/l8syGlAMTKA

      Might have to use it as a ring tone now.

    3. libertarianjoe

      Man, that’s too bad. I guess now we’ll never get to see Jan Quadrant Vincent 17

    4. Chipwooder

      Love The Mechanic. He and Bronson worked well together.

      1. Drake

        I remember being pretty pissed right before the last scene – boom!

    5. one true athena

      aw, I remember that show and I liked him. Though I admit I thought he’d died decades ago, so I’m a bit surprised he was still around all this time. I gather he was an alcoholic/ hard drinker back then and that’s why his career nosedived, but still, bummer.

      I wonder if the show will get rebooted like the rest of the 80’s hits that have been coming back lately.

    6. Mad Scientist

      Now he and George Peppard are both in the great Damnation Alley in the sky.

      🙁

      1. I think it’s hilarious that they’re trying to get to Albany, NY in that movie.

    7. slumbrew

      Let’s not forget Hooper – that’s a fun flick.

  6. The Bearded Hobbit

    DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

    AM I BEING DETAINED!

    1. BakedPenguin

      How about an insanely hot Vietnamese-American (note: I’m assuming, because of her handle) who discusses that.

      1. ron73440

        She’s great.

        My personal favorite of

        1. ron73440

          Jacked that up

          My personal favorite of hers

      2. The Bearded Hobbit

        She can hold me against her in court!

    2. commodious spittoon

      I DON’T KNOW YOU!

      THAT’S MY PURSE!

      1. Festus

        YOU’RE NOT MY DADDY!

    1. PieInTheSky

      the local government favors the STEVE approach

      1. CHICAGO IMITATE STEVE SMITH TOO!

  7. Jarflax

    I wish you 1 and 10 my Romanian friend, but I fear you will get their sum, good and hard.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      The math checks out.

  8. Timeloose

    What about the children.

  9. Festus

    Whelp, since I turned fifty I’ve cottoned to the idea of just getting drunk and saying “fuck it”! but that’s just me.

    1. Spudalicious

      QUIT SPYING ON ME!!!

    2. Who told you my plans for tonight?!

      1. Jarflax

        That was my plan too, but now I am going to watch Captain Marvel with friends/clients. I had intended not to see it at all but as a practicing whore attorney, I am throwing away my principled stance of, meh looks boring, in favor of keeping the clients happy.

  10. ron73440

    The correct answer to your question is definitely No. 5

    Great article, I swear you speak English better than I do.

    1. Fourscore

      …and you speak English better’n me

  11. Don Escaped Texas

    those who understand the difference between what they want and what is possible, and those that do not

    I try to couch almost everything in terms of economics, so, simply: what does the thing/situation/ideal that you want cost:
    a/ what kind of checks would you need to write assuming no elastic impact
    b/ what kind of likely frictional costs would be incurred if the economy shifted to respond to the new situation
    c/ what ultimate powers and vulnerabilities accrue to whom in the new situation

    To me, what is possible is more a question of cost, time, and quality, not a possible/not notion.

    1. Jarflax

      Your stinky economics don’t outweigh my right to a free unicorn!

      1. Festus

        Aw… now I want a stinky unicorn. Jerk.

        1. wdalasio

          Unicorn Jerky? Never tried it. But, it can’t be all bad.

          1. Festus

            Tastes like rancid perfume and the crushed dreams of communists. Only for the bold.

  12. BakedPenguin

    Also, 1, 5 & 12

  13. So what is your favorite compass?

    I like those ball ones that you stick to your windshield.

    Seriously though, here are the axes I’d put on a political compass:
    1) government as agent of social change v. government as a preserver of tradition
    2) government is us v. government is a superfluous evil
    3) self-ownership v. cog in the social machine

    1. wdalasio

      1) government as agent of social change v. government as a preserver of tradition

      What about “government as one institution tasked with a single, defined objective (the preservation of our rights)”?

      1. PieInTheSky

        Nazi talk

      2. Jarflax

        Ok, but while we are preserving rights wouldn’t it be nice if…

        1. Such as my right to not be offended? What about my right to not feel threatened by people having access to firearms?

      3. Libertarians would be centrists on that axis.

      4. AlexinCT

        Next you are gonna tell me there is some old paper that is totes out of sync with our needs today that says this nonsense and we should just get rid of anyway…

  14. Festus

    Fucking Pie. He must be the Romanian Savant or some such. Every time I ponder writing an article some asshole has to come here and tamp me down to size in his second or third language, no less.

    1. BakedPenguin

      In my time, I’ve tried to learn Spanish, French, and Russian. Today, I can say “Good day” and “How are you?” in all three languages, and not much else.

      Bună treabă Pie!

      I can use Google translate, though.

      1. PieInTheSky

        nailed it

      2. BakedPenguin

        Although I phrased that using current US English, so I probably complemented him on having a good occupation.

        1. Festus

          Or a large penis.

          1. BakedPenguin

            6 of one…

    2. PieInTheSky

      the writing game is all about speed

      1. commodious spittoon

        True, I hear a lot of writers use Adderall.

        1. Festus

          I just use copious amounts of alcohol and shamelessness.

    3. Brochettaward

      It’s not as bad as when the Canadians do it, at least.

  15. ron73440

    Pie, is there any kind of liberty culture in Romania?

    Or are people over there worshipers of big government like here?

    1. PieInTheSky

      who the hell knows… but mostly not. i don’t think a quarter of the population would even consider getting government out of the shitty healthcare they provide. most dream of being Sweden

      1. ron73440

        So like here then.

  16. Tundra

    1.

    1. Spudalicious

      E

      1. Tundra

        T

        1. Festus

          P

  17. Rebel Scum

    but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    1. R C Dean

      “Doin’ right ain’t got no end.”

      That movie is a goldmine of awesome quotes.

      1. WTF

        “Dyin’ ain’t much of a living, boy.”

  18. ChipsnSalsa

    one of the top 75 MN hockey players

    No mention of the real reason he is on that list. The salad. wow. I’m excited for this years salad video, how long after the tournament does that come out?

    1. Tundra

      Usually within a day or two. You can be sure I’ll link it.

  19. Tres Cool

    I was kind bored at lunch, so I did this.

  20. invisible finger

    Pie, please come to the US and vote. Per the Democrats, citizenship not required, you probably don’t even need to stay more than a couple hours.

    1. PieInTheSky

      only if McAfee is running

  21. commodious spittoon
    1. Festus

      Ayuh.

    2. Rebel Scum

      Heh.

  22. BakedPenguin

    I posted this on the last thread, but it was already dying: Ocasio-Cortez finance violations.

    Also, this: more evidence.

    Gulag Barbie might be going away.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Slap on the wrist, tops.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      She served her purpose. Next useful idiot to the podium.

    3. Negroni Please

      Nope. She is not a republican. No serious prosecutor would indict… etc. etc.

    4. WTF

      She’s got a “D” after her name, so she’s going to be fine. A weak and meaningless censure coupled with a fine, at worst.

      1. R C Dean

        Depends on how pissed off the senior Dems are. Hell, they might even be behind it. She and her crew of look-at-me millenials are making a lot of enemies, the kind of enemies who have buried many an up-and-comer to get and stay where they are.

        After she embarrased the shit out of everybody with her Green New Deal FAQ, she jumps in to support her pal Omar on the whole Jew-Hate thing. She’s is now dead center of a nearly non-stop string of bad news cycles for the Congressional Dems. I’m not saying there’s a botched robbery in her future, but senior Dems know how to work the Deep State, and if they decide its time to make an example, I would expect her to be on the short list.

        1. WTF

          she jumps in to support her pal Omar on the whole Jew-Hate thing

          And got the leadership to cower and back down. They can’t let her get burned, because they will piss off and alienate their far left base which controls more and more of the party.

          1. R C Dean

            It will be interesting to see if Pelosi and company really have lost control of the party. They are canny, well-connected, and vicious. Do they have the sand to put down the upstarts? Time will tell, but they may have just decided on a tactical retreat on the Jew-Hate thing. A lot of Jews help finance the Dems; I wonder if those phones have started ringing yet.

            Honestly, this is one of those “can’t they all lose” deals, to me. I won’t shed any tears if the corruptocrats get knocked off the lunatics, or vice versa.

        2. commodious spittoon

          She and her crew of look-at-me snake people are making a lot of enemies

          *chuckle*

    5. commodious spittoon

      “A straight-up GND makes sense.”

      Go fuck yourself, Tim.

    6. Festus

      Fart in a windstorm. She’s money and she doesn’t even know it!

    7. wdalasio

      Honestly, I hope not. I want her prattling about taking away people’s air travel, pushing 70% tax rates, and putting the kibosh to economic development in New York City through November 2020. I want to see her and the rest of the loony brigade blacklisting any Democrat to the right of Trotsky through the next election, at least. I want to see her forcing any Democratic presidential contender to sign on as a mleftist hardliner until Trump beats them in the next election.

      Come on, Democrats, find a way to keep your gaping wound exposed.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Hate to say it, but I pretty much agree with wdalisio. It’d actually be better for freedom if this dumbshit stays around, only to serve as a negative model.

        That said – I also agree that she’s a tool, so she almost certainly won’t see much, if any, time. I do wonder if she fell into their lap, or if they heard of her and “made” her a “star”.

        Sorry – getting into Alex Jones territory on that one. But these days, it’s getting easier to believe in Chemtrails.

        1. Rhywun

          You don’t further a career in politics by becoming a bartender. She is a creation of wherever that money came from.

          1. Festus

            Word.

          2. Dr. Fronkensteen

            I think the money came from the Russians

          3. Jarflax

            Yeah but it came back in Stalin’s day, you know when the Russians were good.

    8. Pan Zagloba

      Before or after Trump gets jailed for paying whores off?

      Cause this also plays into my “she is Trump of the left” theory.

      1. Festus

        More fuckable, though.

        1. Mad Scientist

          I only like mushrooms on pizza.

        2. Pan Zagloba

          Are The Hat and The Hair included? I need to know for fair evaluation.

  23. Gustave Lytton

    Wife put the atrocious Bushwick on last weekend. The Swarm was a more realistic alternative history movie.

    1. WTF

      *Googles Bushwick*

      Dear God, that looks like a load of shit.

      1. Rhywun

        Speaking of state-related fantasies.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I saw the trailer for that. This (along with The Purge) is what progs believe in their hearts.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        I liked The Purge better when it as done as The Return of the Archons.

        1. BakedPenguin

          Landrue!

    3. wdalasio

      Never saw it. But, from what I heard, I’d root for the bad guys.

    1. Festus

      Lik-M-Aid.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      She doesn’t believe in American values and it’s not surprising. She didn’t grow up here and the current naturalization process does little to acculturate immigrants. Should never have been let anywhere near the levers of power.

      1. wdalasio

        Should never have been let anywhere near the levers of power.

        Let’s put matters a little bit in perspective. She’s one Congresswoman. Out of 435. Like She Guevara, he marginal damage she does is probably worth the benefit she provides of tearing the Democrats’ masks off.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Damage? Maybe if it made a difference. She’s moving the Overton window, which gives cover to the less extreme member of her party to move that one way ratchet ever further.

          1. R C Dean

            No shit. In one week, she has made being an overt Jew-Hater acceptable in the Democrat Party. That’s . . . impressive.

      2. R C Dean

        As I asked on another post:

        She was born in Somalia and naturalized here. Did she give up her Somalian citizenship? If not, then if we are going to worry about “dual loyalty”, shouldn’t we start with her?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          I can recall when a Democrat politician proclaimed that they were an American first, and not beholden to a foreign controlled religion that was viewed with suspicion by many Americans.

          1. Drake

            This. Has she ever professed any loyalty to the U.S.?

          2. ChipsnSalsa

            When she was sworn in?

          3. Drake

            Do any of them take that oath seriously? If they did, there wouldn’t be a flood of new gun control bills being debated.

          4. ChipsnSalsa

            No, they don’t.

            something, something, constitution.

            “Where’s my power? I got some laws to make.”

        2. grrizzly

          It is a legitimate concern. I’m a dual citizen myself. I’m aware that I can always go to one of the very few countries in the world where the US government cannot touch me.

      3. Fatty Bolger

        I don’t know about that. She seems pretty representative of her constituency.

    3. Old Man With Candy

      Omar is then quoted as saying: “We can’t be only upset with Trump… His policies are bad, but many of the people who came before him also had really bad policies. They just were more polished than he was.

      “And that’s not what we should be looking for anymore. We don’t want anybody to get away with murder because they are polished. We want to recognize the actual policies that are behind the pretty face and the smile.”

      I really can’t disagree with her.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Nope.

      2. WTF

        Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut.

      3. Except for what she means by “actual policies”…

      4. R C Dean

        We want to recognize the actual policies that are behind the pretty face and the smile.

        What an interesting thing for someone who has carried a load of toxic policies to Congress on the basis of a pretty face and smile to say.

  24. Dr. Fronkensteen

    OT but related to #10

    Former Miss Teen Universe dies after suffering heart attack just before 20th birthday

    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/former-miss-teen-universe-dies-suffering-heart-attack-just-20th-birthday-134151598.html

    1. AlmightyJB

      It’s sad when pretty people die.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m not dead yet.

        *gives Blue Steel look*

        Do you feel better?

        1. AlmightyJB

          Yes. I do.

    2. Festus

      Shitty. She didn’t even get a chance to fleece a billionaire’s family out of his hard earned sheckles. Jew diamond merchant dies during penile enhancement surgery. Beauty queen dies of an inexplicable heart attack. You decide…

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        You decide…

        After the diamond merchant died, she had nothing to live for?

        1. Festus

          Family ties.

      2. PieInTheSky

        see writing is all about speed

    3. PieInTheSky

      maybe she will meet the billionaire with the penis enlargement in the afterlife

  25. CPRM

    Maybe we should make the Glib political compass.

    Already tried, something something herding cats…

    1. PieInTheSky

      You did not have the right question to start with

    1. Festus

      I like that “freedom” seems to be sitting atop a golf tee.

  26. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.foxnews.com/tech/elizabeth-warren-proposes-breaking-up-big-tech-giants-including-amazon-and-google

    At what point can we go back to gibbeting thieves and highwaymen as a lesson to others?

    1. Festus

      Pretty much at the the point of my metaphorical nose and no further. No further, I say!

    2. The Other Kevin

      Funny how someone who pushes minimum wage increases and lots more regulation is so concerned with small businesses.

      1. Festus

        Not funny, despicable.

    3. one true athena

      There’s a reason they passed that “anti-lynching” law.

      1. R C Dean

        Does it apply to Indians?

        1. Festus

          Dot or Feather? Dems are circling the wagons inre Tulsi.

      2. OK, I’ll settle for tar and feathers.

        1. Festus

          And a ride outta town on a rail.

  27. The Bearded Hobbit

    More of a Smith chart than a compass

    From a Daniel J. Mitchell article.

    1. Festus

      So voluntarism is the nads of all the other poor ideas?

    2. PieInTheSky

      ah the old zmis chart

    3. I think I’m somewhere between minarchism and classical liberalism. I don’t have a problem with the government building the roads and putting out fires. It’ll give the police something to do.

  28. Chipwooder

    David Brooks totally proving that he’s totally not actually a Democrat by writing about how he’s now all aboard on reparations.

    Fuck. You. That’s the point at which I go live in the woods or move to Costa Rica or something. You’re not taking a motherfucking penny away from me to punish me for the sins of other people’s ancestors.

    1. Chipwooder

      Question: who writes the inevitable Reason “The Libertarian Case For Reparations” article? ENB? Shikha? Gillespie?

      1. WTF

        Didn’t they already do that one?

        1. Festus

          To be sure.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      These fuckers are doing their level best to forment racial divisions. Just like the prog tech companies finding themselves against Warren’s wall, enjoy that whirlwind. The rest of us won’t.

    3. STEVE SMITH VOTE WOODS!

    4. one true athena

      Reparations.
      It’s just too tiresome because it’s obvious how it plays out:
      – Reparations for the descendants of slavery.
      – But what about immigrant blacks who came later?
      – they were oppressed by the systemic racism, so gimme dat money even though I came from Kenya two years ago
      – I’m white but my ancestors came from Finland in 1920 why do I have to pay anything? nobody in my family had slaves
      – shut up whitey you benefited pay up
      – I’m chinese what about my ancestors who were worked to death building the railroad?
      – hey what about the tribes? you racists always forget our suffering and we were here first
      – native hawaiians always get screwed, we should get even more money for losing our monarchy
      – but gays too
      – I’m white but why should I pay when I’m neurodivergently disabled, this isn’t fair!
      – um Jews?
      – how dare you be islamaphobic!

      etc.

      1. Chipwooder

        And, with a nod to our friend HM, what of the mixed race? Are we going to use DNA tests to determine just how black someone is in order to nail down the amount they are to receive?

        1. grrizzly

          I suggest skull measurement and the brown paper bag test.

          1. Chipwooder

            You know who else used skull measurements to determine racial classification?

          2. Old Man With Candy

            Queequeg?

      2. I’m 1/4 Jewish, 1/4 Italian, 1/4 English via colonial Massachusetts, and 1/4 Scottish.

        Do I get money or pay money or pay myself money?

        1. Mad Scientist

          The whole purpose of the plan is to make everyone pay. The feds will take their cut.

        2. one true athena

          oh no, it’ll end up Jews pay DOUBLE, because otherwise it’ll be “support for Zionism”
          cmon man do you even Black Caucus?

          1. No, my caucus rather olive skinned.

          2. slumbrew

            I under stand the Black Caucus is rather large. A Big Black Caucus, if you will.

          3. *narrows gaze*

          4. Old Man With Candy

            So if Jews pay double, that cancels things out for HM. Even-Steven!

    5. Rhywun

      Pass.

      (on the article and the idea)

  29. Festus

    Fuckity-fuck fuck fuck. Was just reminded that Wifey is going away to house and horse-sit for a week starting tomorrow. Daughter #1 is going to Disneyland with all of her spawn. Fuck. Fish tanks, pets, all the rigamarole fall unto me and I never had a say in it. I’m a drinkin’ man and when you fuck with my routines I go Scanners. Fuck.

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      You get a week of peace and you are mad you have to feed pets?

      1. Festus

        It messes with my routine, Bro. Do you even Autist?

          1. Festus

            No. It’s about filters and Ph levels and I can’t even! *huddles in corner awaiting the boot*

          2. slumbrew

            If that stuff can’t go a week without you having to fool with it, just buy new fish the day before they get home.

          3. Festus

            Can’t. They are huge and established. Thank Cthulu the gourami killed all the angels…

          4. Festus

            So fitting. Don’t even ask about the turtles…

          5. Live plants are your friend. I havent done a water change or chemistry test in 6 months.

          6. Festus

            We have fish that grub the roots.

          7. Festus

            She has a 130 gallon and a 90 gallon tank. She doesn’t fuck around.

    2. invisible finger

      Let the pets fend for themselves. They’ll eventually just eat the fish. Problem solved.

      1. Festus

        Hence my turtle reply above. i went away for a week to Mexico and my roommate forgot to close the door. Long story short, cats eat turtles.

  30. grrizzly

    OT. Ever wondered what Valerie Jarrett is doing these days? I’ve just received an email from Lyft with an embedded video of Valerie Jarrett, Lyft board member.

    1. Chipwooder

      Very good reason to never use Lyft again

      1. grrizzly

        David Plouffe works for Uber.

        1. Chipwooder

          This is why I drive myself everywhere.

        2. Rhywun

          Won’t someone please think of the poor lobbyists!

      2. A very good reason would be crappy service or high prices, a very stupid reason would be the politics of a board member.

        1. Nephilium

          I’ll use whichever one is offering me a deal at the present time. It’s a much better option then an OVI.

        2. Stillhunter

          I can use whatever metrics I prefer when choosing a service, thank you very much. You are free to call my reasons stupid, of course. However, when board members (or CEOs, etc) wear their politics on their sleeve I don’t agree with your opinion. If they STFU and avoid social signaling I am happy to ignore their politics, otherwise, their actions have consequences on their business, as it should be.

    2. Festus

      Is she that monkey-lookin’ chick that Roseanne referred to? Her? Die in a fire you statist nincompoop.

    3. R C Dean

      *deletes Lyft app*

    4. ChipsnSalsa

      Always good to have someone connected on the board.

  31. slumbrew

    I am Emily Ratajkowski (or equivalent)…

    I would like to learn more about the “equivalent”.

    1. Chipwooder

      Miranda Kerr

      1. slumbrew

        Nice. Though EmRat is a quite a bit more juggy. If you like that sort of thing.

  32. Dr. Fronkensteen

    There is Jerry Pournelle’s chart. I almost forgot about this.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pournelle_chart

    Direct from the creator.

    http://www.baen.com/chapters/Axes.htm

    1. Festus

      “Dangerous but good”.

  33. Sensei

    Sweet!

    Trump seeks a big premium from Japan and other allies hosting U.S. troops: Full cost plus 50% more

    “If you have countries which clearly can afford to do it and are not doing it because they think we’ll just step in and do it for them, the president has a problem with that,” he said in an interview.

    Better still would be having it do it themselves of course…

    1. Festus

      I’d like to see him make good on at least one of his threats but it seems to me that he got “Blow-Hard Boner Disease” and there is no cure.

      1. Sensei

        Agreed. It’s typical Trump. In the end they wind up paying X +10%.

        But the usually the result is the US just pays more so to so it’s an incremental positive.

      2. Fatty Bolger

        It’s negotiation. You don’t ask for what you want, then bargain down.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      Another concern is that the U.S. will fan ongoing debates in some countries about whether they even want U.S. troops

      Sounds like a good thing to me, regardless of what they decide.

      1. Festus

        “decide”.

    3. The Bearded Hobbit

      He lost all cred when the reneged on the Syria deal. Only good thing I can say about him is, “At least he’s not Hillary”

      1. Festus

        We Glibs were dancing in the streets over that one and now it’s all sackcloth and ashes. Much disappoint, very regret.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          I’m not happy about it either but we have drawn down from 2000 to 400. A partial reneging, sure, but not as bad as I first thought:

          https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/22/world/middleeast/trump-troops-syria-.html

          Still disappointing though.

        2. The Bearded Hobbit

          I thought I was going to have some ammo against my TDS poker buddies, but alas.

          There is one stat that occurs to me: Trump is (so far) the first President in decades to not start a war someplace. All the way back to Carter.

          1. Fatty Bolger

            Hah! Some of us are still old enough to remember the Rabbit-American War of 1979.

          2. Festus

            The least telegenic President or the most inept? Fuck, I’d have voted for Billy!