Tuesday Afternoon Links

Well I survived secondary AND tertiary screening at one of the few non-TSA airports in America. I had ground coffee in my bag (I’ve gone through this airport 2x/year for several years with a few pounds of coffee in my carry-on with no problem). Apparently ground coffee looks like an explosive on x-rays and swipes like an explosive with those stupid little testing swabs. A supervisor was called. The supervisor called a manager. Good times. The Canandaigua blend from this place was absolutely worth the hassle though. But enough about me. On to LINKS!

And the traditional musical link

Comments

382 responses to “Tuesday Afternoon Links”

  1. Florida Man

    Who is that man with the mustache?

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      The guy you were saying whose lies were no different from Trump’s in the last thread

      1. Florida Man

        I’m not sure I said that. In fact, I’m sure I didn’t say that at all.

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      You know who else had a distinctive mustache.

      1. PBRstreetgang

        Mr. Potato Head?

      2. Arcot Ramathorn?

      3. Bobarian LMD

        Stossel?

      4. invisible finger

        Janet Reno?

      5. Rollie Fingers?

      6. Adolphe Menjou?

      7. Shirley Knott

        Salvador Dali?

      8. Charlie Chaplin?

      9. DrOtto

        Tom Selleck?

      10. mock-star

        Ned Flanders? Stupid sexy Flanders.

      11. bacon-magic

        Tom Selleck?

      12. creech

        Joshua Chamberlain.

      13. Crusty Juggler

        John Waters?

      1. PBRstreetgang

        Sometimes you ride the ‘stache, sometimes it rides you.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Yes please

      2. Florida Man

        Hawt!

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Agreed. She’s as smart as a whip, and that’s the sort of thing I’m attracted to. The looks don’t hurt either.

      3. Who am I kidding? Probably still would.

        1. R C Dean

          Urgh. A little too futanari for me.

      4. creech

        Sarah Palin is available and she’s an expert on Russia.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s kind of sad that the finest dick tickler in all of DC belongs to such a loathsome bastard.

  2. Wait: there are non-TSA airports in the US?

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      There are airports with private security (SFO is one, I think MCO is another). They still have to follow all TSA rules.

      1. Florida Man

        MCO has TSA.

      2. Donation Not Taxation

        Flights from “a non-secure terminal to another non-secure terminal” can apply for waivers from TSA screening rules. You don’t expect the elite to have to do what the plebes don’t like but they have to do anyway, do you?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          And doesn’t apply to fbo airports too I believe. JetsuiteX flies under that.

      3. Gustave Lytton

        And wear the same uniforms, except for epaulet loops. SFO’s say CSA for the “private” security there. They also still have some DHS people there anyways. I had my stuff rescreened by a DHS explosives guy at SFO.

  3. Count Potato

    “Apparently ground coffee looks like an explosive on x-rays and swipes like an explosive with those stupid little testing swabs.”

    Maybe they are lying because people use coffee to hide the smell of drugs from dogs.

    1. one true athena

      I think it’s the foil packaging. I had Cliff bars in mine that set it off.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Nope the Cliff bar in my bag was ignored and the coffee was wrapped in the kind of plastic lined paper you get from a grocery store.

        1. one true athena

          huh. Guess we both just look like terrorists then.

  4. To Glibs savvy in this type of thing: what’s the line on whether or not there actually will be a Brexit?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Sargon thinks so, and he’s there, so yes

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      By Oct. 31st? No one knows the answer to that one. Eventually meaning sometime after the next election whenever that is? Almost certainly.

      1. OBJ FRANKELSON

        If the Torys don’t do it before then there is an outside chance that Brexit will happen under PM Farage.

    3. wdalasio

      The people who are paid to estimate these things put it at 20% in Q4. After that, it goes back up to about 50% in Q1. The Remoaners are stalling for time in hopes of shoring up hopes of their side’s voters and frustrating pro-Brexit voters into submission. I think that could backfire on them and wind up resulting in Prime Minister Farage, as OBJ Frankelson suggests.

    4. Gadfly

      I’d say there’s a decent chance of it happening, sooner rather than later. While the country is hotly divided, the Conservative party doesn’t have a chance of winning if they stall too much longer on Brexit, as Farage and his new Brexit party will campaign vigorously on the issue if it continues to remain unresolved, and they have a lot of support, especially from the right. Johnson, PM and Conservative leader, was a major campaigner for Brexit and knows full well the political realities of failing to deliver (and who knows, he may actually believe in it himself). Johnson has already shown somewhat of a spine, as he took the rarely used move of expelling from the party all Conservative party MPs who voted with the Remainers on the “coup” bill that requires him to ask for a delay. If he really wants Brexit, he has the opportunity of disobeying the law that bill enacted and not requesting the required extension on October 19, in which case the UK will automatically leave the EU on October 31. I don’t know if UK law would empower anyone to go around the PM to make the request, so if he holds the line for 2 weeks he’ll get Brexit. He also has the option of trying to piss off the EU parties greatly enough that they refuse any extension. Basically, I think there’s a real possibility it will happen next month.

      1. R C Dean

        If he really wants Brexit, he has the opportunity of disobeying the law that bill enacted and not requesting the required extension on October 19

        Or, in the spirit of malicious compliance, requesting the extension, but with conditions and codicils that the EU won’t accept. Not sure what the bill says if the EU refuses to grant an extension; presumably, its hard Brexit.

        Let’s hope Trump and Johnson are working behind the scenes on a trade agreement with the UK.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Bolton resigned,
    according to Bolton….

    1. R C Dean

      Only Trump and Bolton could get in a public pissing match over “You’re fired”; “You can’t fire me, I quit.”

      1. wdalasio

        “You can’t fire me, I quit.”

        Good. That saves us your severance package and unemployment benefits.

        1. Rhywun

          Now you’re just being ridiculous.

  6. Florida Man

    Record number of workers quitting shows labor market still strong even as job openings drop and hiring slows-

    That’s a metric I never thought about, but makes perfect sense.

    1. Sean

      I could hire 3 entry level positions tomorrow, but no one shows up to fill out the paper work to get hired.

      We get a lot of responses on Indeed ads, but very few people actually come in after setting up a date & time.

      People suck.

      1. Florida Man

        I still get surprised at how self centered people can be.

  7. Rebel Scum

    Trump Cancels Taliban Meeting After Learning It’s THAT Taliban

    President Trump called off a meeting with the Taliban scheduled to occur at Camp David after realizing it’s actually the same Taliban known for its brutal treatment of Afghans under Islamic law.

    An aide reportedly asked Trump if everything was still on for the Taliban meeting: “Are we still good to have the terror-linked Taliban groups over to the presidential retreat this weekend?”

    “Huh?” Trump replied, a look of concern on his face. Then a jolt of realization hit him. “Wait—it’s THAT Taliban!?”

    The aide checked her notes and confirmed that it was the same Taliban.

    “I don’t think so,” Trump said. “I thought it was those funny little guys in the suits with the purple Twinkie Winkie guy. I was pretty explicit that I wanted to meet those guys. Very funny guys.”

    Nervously shuffling her feet, the aide replied that was actually the Teletubbies and that they’ve been off the air for years. She also wasn’t clear as to why Trump would want to meet with them, but she didn’t press him any further and Trump didn’t elaborate.

    “Could have sworn they were called Taliban. Huh. Cancel this thing right away then. Who thought this was a good idea? I want that person fired immediately!” Trump shouted.

    “And get me the Teletubbies!”

    I like it. It captures the Trumpisms while avoiding that extra spice from SugarFree that makes one want to vomit and/or throw kittens at homeless people.

    1. PBRstreetgang

      No come Mr. Taliban
      so they had to go home

    2. Fatty Bolger

      Huh. Yeah, almost like a G-rated The Hat and The Hair… OK, time to fess up. Which one of you is writing for that site?

  8. Bobarian LMD

    The Canandaigua blend

    And they didn’t even find the yayo?

    TSA be slippin’

  9. Donation Not Taxation

    Bolton’s fired? Who knew? Just, you know, the people who read the comments to today’s Morning Links or to today’s midday post.

    1. Some of us work (Hi, Rufus!) and only get to look in once a day or so.

  10. Donation Not Taxation

    NOTICE OF APPARENT LIABILITY FOR FORFEITURE
    https://pmcdeadline2.files.wordpress.com/2019/09/fcc-young-sheldon-fine-wm.pdf
    FCC proposes $272,000 fine for episode of Young Sheldon in which the interruption of a cartoon Sheldon is watching, which the FCC admits was different from the actual emergency broadcast attention-getter, is too similar to the real one.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      One of my close friends is an editor, and he included the EAS sound in movie trailer that played on network TV. Yes, they paid a huge fine. Huge.

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Fun fact: In 1984, 7 year old JB voted for Mondale in his school’s mock election because Reagan had interrupted my cartoons for some speech one too many times.

      (In 1988, 11 year old JB voted for Ron Paul in the same school’s mock election)

    3. Suthenboy

      Was the same or not?
      Not? So subjective standard.
      Shitcan that

  11. Florida Man

    Libertarian hero/object lesson: Man spends £30,000 fighting £100 speeding fine-

    I can’t believe there are any people left that think there is a “justice system”.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Just us system.

    2. ttyrant

      I’ve got an outstanding $25 ticket payable to the City of Milwaukee that I’m debating whether to fight or pay. They cited me for not having my registration sticker on my license plate, despite the fact that it’s there and has been for the last nine months. It’s ripped on one of the corners, so perhaps that’s the issue, but that’s not what’s stated on the actual ticket. Part of me wants to fight it, but there’s big push-back from the other part of me that doesn’t want to deal with the bureaucratic BS.

  12. Count Potato

    “And the traditional musical link”

    The scariest thing about it is that drugs were probably not involved.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Japanese Village People.

  13. Playa Manhattan

    I tried a brand new taco place for lunch. On the menu: Wagyu beef broth. WTF? It’s broth! I don’t care if it’s made from roadkill.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Why does a taco place have broth of any kind?

      How do you keep it in the shell?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Soup appetizer. I went with the roasted cauliflower instead.

  14. KibbledKristen

    It’s the principle, man!

    (I hate that predictive text shows principal before principle, especially since I use principle way more often)

  15. Donation Not Taxation

    “Well, this should be fun: Netanyahu pledges to annex occupied Jordan Valley”
    In other Netanyahu news (and who does not like to say ‘Net and Yahoo’?):
    “Netanyahu briefly whisked away from campaign rally as rockets fired from Gaza
    PM later returns to stage; IDF says 2 projectiles fired at southern Israel, both intercepted by Iron Dome; Blue and White event in Ashkelon also cut short due to attack
    By TOI staff and Judah Ari Gross Today, 9:47 pm”
    https://www.timesofisrael.com/netanyahu-spirited-away-from-campaign-rally-as-rockets-fired-from-gaza/

  16. Count Potato

    “Pregnant at prom: Cheerleader’s murder trial is shown photos of her posing with her boyfriend with a huge bump TWO DAYS before she gave birth on the toilet to someone else’s baby and buried it in the backyard”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7447797/Pregnant-prom-Cheerleader-poses-huge-bump-TWO-DAYS-buried-baby-backyard.html

    Stay classy, Ohio.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Ohio Man is worse than Florida Man, yet we get the blame. It ain’t fair.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Dispensation for having the Browns.

      2. Gadfly

        That’s because Florida Man is too drunk/stoned to stay quiet about his antics, so more of it makes the news.

    2. R C Dean

      TWO DAYS before she gave birth on the toilet to someone else’s baby

      She was a surrogate mother?

      1. That was my question too.

        Although technically, it was also the baby daddy’s baby. Maybe he’s the “someone else”.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Technically, it’s her baby.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Maybe she was the midwife?

          2. Enough About Palin

            Speaking of midwives, Naomi Watts plays on in the film Eastern Promises. Just saw it this weekend on TV. It’s a very good film. Jesse might like the sauna fight scene.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            Cronenberg and Mortensen make great movies.

            A History of Violence is even better.

          4. It’s two people’s baby, unless she was able to splice her DNA into a sperm cell and impregnate herself with that.

          5. Playa Manhattan

            Now you’re defending poor writing?

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Bulletpoint: “Neither of them knew she was pregnant nor did her parents despite her bump ”

      From the article: “She did not have it confirmed until April 26, during a visit to the gynecologist.”

      Sounds like she did know. Well, on the bright side, she shouldn’t be a mother, and she’s not.

      1. R C Dean

        Interesting case. It will come down to the autopsy. If it shows a live birth, she should do hard time.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          If you have a confirmed pregnancy, you generally don’t aim for a toilet birth.

          1. R C Dean

            Unless you are planning to kill the baby and dispose of the body, of course.

            Its not like you go from “pregnant, no signs of delivery” to “OMG, where’d that baby come from” in a minute or two. You have plenty of time and warnings to call an ambulance. If you don’t, it certainly opens the door to suspicion that you were planning a very late abortion.

          2. Playa Manhattan

            Burning the body and burying it in the backyard certainly doesn’t help the case.

            She’s no criminal mastermind, though.

            May gynecologist appointment: You’re pregnant and due in 2 weeks

            July gynecologist appointment: Ummmm…. I didn’t get a call to deliver the baby. Anyway, which pediatrician did you choose?

    4. Sean

      I’m intrigued by the mother and would like to see more pics of her.

      1. R C Dean

        Ain’t nobody good looking enough to fall on the right quadrant of the matrix after pulling that stunt.

        1. Sean

          Not the one on trial…(NO WAY)…her mother.

          1. R C Dean

            Got it.

            *scrolls through article*

            Agreed.

          2. Dr. Fronkensteen

            You’re assuming the apple fell quite away from the tree. Too risky.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            Eh…. her daughter is alive.

            But, she could have also been born in a toilet.

      2. Tres Cool

        Since I live in that neck of the woods, the media coverage has been on-going and non-stop. Reminds me another from here, some time ago:

        https://www.cbsnews.com/news/rebeccas-story/

    5. How would you not know she was pregnant based on the photo of her in the red dress?

      1. Florida Man

        Freshman fifteen?

    6. OneOut

      Nothing different than an after birth abortion DIY kit.

      Why should that be illegal ?

  17. KibbledKristen

    The streets of DC have been taken over by gangs of tourists on scooters.

    1. R C Dean

      Our doltish city council just approved those things here. My days of not going downtown are definitely coming to a middle.

    2. I’m having some people in town in a couple weeks, and I’m going with the classier Segway tour.

      /not really

    3. I’m Here To Help

      There was a gaggle of them with their scooters in my hotel in Crystal City. And a number of them were the sort that really shouldn’t be on scooters (older, fatter, and more infirm than me, which is saying something…)

  18. Cyclists make it really difficult for me to not generalize them all as vermin.

    https://nypost.com/video/bicyclist-head-butts-pedestrian-who-had-the-right-of-way/

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      single speeder for sure, probably a fixie. That’s your problem right there.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      He was in a big enough hurry to run a red light, but had plenty of time to turn around and pick a fight?

      Confirmed asshole.

    3. Raston Bot

      dude! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!!

      that is frustrating watching the bike messenger approach him aggressively and the suit just fucking gawking.

      1. Florida Man

        Most people aren’t accustomed to violence.

      2. KibbledKristen

        I can’t tell you the last time I saw a bike messenger, and I work between the White House and Capitol. I hadn’t even noticed their disappearance til just now. I think last time I saw one was at least 5 years ago.

    4. wdalasio

      Makes you wish the UK didn’t have so many gun restrictions. One or two dead bikers would put a stop to that.

  19. Gadfly

    Record number of workers quitting shows labor market still strong even as job openings drop and hiring slows

    Wouldn’t it be expected that job openings would drop and hiring would slow if the employment market is nearing full employment? Or maybe that’s what the analysts mean by this, that these could be signs of either a strong or weak market but that employees feel free to quit indicates which it is.

    1. R C Dean

      Wouldn’t it be expected that job openings would drop and hiring would slow if the employment market is nearing full employment?

      More employment opportunities means more people quit to take a better job. Not sure how they measure job openings and hiring. Are they measuring new openings and expanded hirings, or do they include the churn in existing positions?

      Job openings probably wouldn’t drop in a full employment scenario, as its harder to hire.

      1. Gadfly

        Job openings probably wouldn’t drop in a full employment scenario, as its harder to hire.

        But new job openings might, for if a company already has unfilled openings why would they create more?

  20. Rebel Scum

    Israel PM Netanyahu vows to annex occupied Jordan Valley

    Do you know who else annexed adjacent territory?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      The French in 1919?

    2. R C Dean

      UnCiv’s parent’s neighbor?

        1. R C Dean

          Still technically parents.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Anyone playing Risk?

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Or Diplomacy.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I ‘member Diplomacy

    4. grrizzly

      The USSR in 1944?

    5. bacon-magic

      The US in 1845. (no you can’t secede Texans)

    6. Suthenboy

      My dog every night in the bed?

  21. Gadfly

    Parliamentarians always seem to have more fun than Congress: Chaos in UK Parliament as speaker pinned to seat, lawmakers chant ‘shame’ after Boris Johnson shutdown

    Which is surprising, since the Parliamentarians have a much stricter party hierarchy one would expect them to maintain better discipline. Congress needs to up its game.

    I do enjoy this little bit of dissonance, FTA:

    As Conservatives – members of Johnson’s party – left the chamber with Bercow, others chanted “Shame on You!” while they remained inside in protest, holding signs reading “Silenced.”

    1. R C Dean

      I thought Parliament was routinely prorogued this time of year.

      1. Apparently yes, but not for as long as Johnson prorogued it.

      2. tarran

        It is, but in this case the opposition and the traitors within the Conservative party were trying to block it.

        The hilarious thing is that if they truly thought that the PM was a tyrant, he gave them a perfect remedy, he asked them to vote on a bill calling for a snap election. Oddly, these people who feel the will of the people is being ignored were utterly opposed to a snap election that could give them a majority and the mandate they claim they would have.

        Odd that. 😛

        1. Gadfly

          Odd that.

          Indeed. It was a smart move on Johnson’s part, as it forced the Remainers to give the game away. I think he can win this game of chicken, if he wants to.

    2. Florida Man

      I’m disappointed the guy they pinned to a chair didn’t hit people with his cane.

      1. It sounds like he was going along with it, since he’s abandoned the traditional assiduous neutrality of the Speakership.

    3. R C Dean

      chanted “Shame on You!” while they remained inside in protest, holding signs reading “Silenced.

      Pick one, Parliamentards.

  22. Rebel Scum

    Get a load of this fascist.

    But quickly the president’s focus turn back to thought of his reelection in fall next year stating: ‘That’s why we need four more years… It’s got to seed — it’s a plant. It has to grow. It has to grow those roots. That’s why 2020 is just as important. Because they will try to take it away.’

    One of the president’s biggest applause of the night, however, was his dig at former President Barack Obama.

    ‘You finally have a president who understands I’m not supposed to be president of the world, I’m supposed to be president of the United States of America,’ he told the crowd of 5,000, who roared and applauded in response.

    It was a likely reference to Obama’s high reputation on the world stage, which included being awarded the Noble Peace Prize early in his presidency.

    ‘Obama is more popular in Germany than Trump. He’s got to be. I’m making people pay their bills,’ Trump said, claiming he was disliked because he made NATO partners up their shares to the organization. ‘The day I’m more popular than him, I’m not doing my job. They like him more in Europe than they like trump. I think they should.’

  23. tarran

    This Brexit thing is absolutely hilarious.

    The opposition doesn’t want an election and claims the government is quashing democracy by preventing the current parliament from extending its record run.

    The government wants an election and is trying to force a no-confidence vote to trigger one.

    I am starting to think that the Queen of England has a big opportunity to save Britain to a degree not offered since the deposition of James II. If she refuses to give royal assent to the bill that requires Boris Johnson to request an extension, that bill dies. She could then dissolve parliament, forcing a new election.

    I think the Brexit Party and the pro-brexit faction of the Conserative party would together form a government, and that would be that.

    1. R C Dean

      I think Johnson kicked the pro-remainer MPs out of the Conservative Party.

      He just won a no-confidence vote, I think. My understanding is that the Queen is expected to withhold consent if so advised by the Prime Minister, but this would be a huge issue for the Queen to get in front of.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        He did kick the con remainers out. He’s a PM with a minority in parliament at the moment but if Labor agrees to a general election they’ll be absolutely crushed.

        1. R C Dean

          Not enough Brexit Party PMs for a new coalition?

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            That’s a good question.

          2. tarran

            Not in the current parliament. The Brexit party didn’t stand for the last parliamentary election.

            They did win the most recent election, which was to seat representatives in the EU parliament.

            They grabbed 29 seats of the 70+ that were up for grabs, and went from nothing to being the largest party in the UK contingent.

            Farage has apparently offered a non-aggression pact to Boris Johnson; the Brexit Party will not put forth any candidates in districts represented by a pro-brexit conservative.

            I think if they get the general election then that will form the basis of the new majority.

          3. And supposedly the Brexit Party is trying to get left-of-center Brexiteers to stand in the Labour strongholds of northern England.

          4. Gadfly

            They grabbed 29 seats of the 70+ that were up for grabs, and went from nothing to being the largest party in the UK contingent.

            A fun fact is that not only is the Brexit Party the largest party in the UK contingent, it is the largest single party in the entirety of the EU parliament.

          5. “Well, you’re not laughing now.” – Nigel Farage

          6. None currently.

          7. BakedPenguin

            There currently aren’t any in Parliament. The last election was for Brussels.

          8. BakedPenguin

            or what tarran and Ted said.

      2. tarran

        Here’s the thing. She’s of the generation that fought World War II. Hell, Prince Phillip actually saw action.

        I suspect that she is pretty appalled at what the elites did in the post war years. And I think she knows that her grandkids are absolutely uninterested in preserving Britain’s sovereignty.

        All she needs to do is to say that she has no confidence in the current government or in parliament and dissolve it. caling for new elections. The BBC types will be appalled and start promoting republicanism. But they will be helpless to legally stand in the way of it.

        The Remainers have made it impossible for the government to govern. This has happened before. And past impasses have been solved by snap elections and the formation of new governments. In this case the only reason why the Remainers haven’t gone this route on their own is because they fear they will be voted out of office. And I think were the queen to do this thing, it would be very hard to sell the idea that she was interfering in British democracy. She could argue, correctly, that she was restoring it.

        Her constitutional powers and duties are very much intended to solve this very problem.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          I imagine that she’s really disappointed in her son. We all are.

    2. Rhywun

      If she refuses to give royal assent to the bill that requires Boris Johnson to request an extension, that bill dies.

      She already gave it, according to that article.

      1. tarran

        Oh…. in that case so much for my theory. 🙁

        I guess the fight against Hitler was all for nothing then.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          There is still the 2020 election to throw him out of power.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      Britain voting “leave” but never actually leaving the EU was the most obvious way this would go from the beginning.

    4. R C Dean

      So are the Remainers making the argument yet that calling for new elections would be anti-democratic?

      1. OBJ FRANKELSON

        As would be executing the will of the people as expressed in a referendum, it would seem.

    5. Shirley Knott

      Perry de Haviland runs two libertarian websites relevant to this.
      samizdata.net is more generally Classical Liberal.
      greatrealignment.org is focused on Brexit.

      They’re good sites. Recommended.

    1. R C Dean

      SMOD, hear my prayer.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Lesbian Penguins?
      First it was the Frogs, now This!

    3. Rhywun

      It’s the first time the aquarium has had a non-binary animal

      They must be tickled lavender.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      “will be raised ‘gender-neutral”

      And how does that work, exactly? Is it going to lay eggs or not?

      1. tarran

        They will give the baby penguin both dolls and trucks to play with. 🙄

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Paint the nursery yellow?

    5. Heroic Mulatto

      So, considering that animals don’t have gender to begin with, they’re just going to raise it normally?

      1. grrizzly

        The aquarium staff will raise the penguin “gender-neutral.”

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I still don’t know what the hell any of that means! Other than its name (which is a human invention), what about penguin life (that is controllable) is gendered? Penguins don’t play with dolls. Do they play with balls? Are balls inherently male? (Don’t answer that.)

    6. Crusty Juggler

      I should start reading links that are not mine.

  24. Count Potato

    “The case for changing the voting age to 0

    House Democrats and Andrew Yang have pushed for a voting age of 16. That doesn’t go far enough.”

    https://twitter.com/voxdotcom/status/1171390381591814144

    https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/9/10/20835327/voting-age-youth-rights-kids-vote

    1. R C Dean

      SMOD, hear my prayer.

    2. PBRstreetgang

      Mormons and Catholics duke it our for control of government.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      I’m not clicking, but I’m guessing it was written by Yglesias. Sounds like the kind of idea he’d have.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        “idea”

    4. Gustave Lytton

      Good lord, writing an article like that should automatically forfeit your voting and earn a spot in an asylum.

      1. “Ad revenue is down, write something that will get more clicks”

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      CHILD KINGS! CHILDREN OF THE CORN!

      MALAKAI!

    6. Urthona

      This would backfire for them big time. Think of the demographics who have a lot of children.

      Most people are now content to let kids develop their own political opinions over time and experience, but that would change quickly.

    7. Gadfly

      Best reply:

      Writing age for vox should be changed from 3 to 30

  25. Count Potato

    Today, in everyone is literally Hitler

    “Trump’s base is committed to white supremacy. That’s why they’re committed to him. You’re not going to peel them away unless you offer a candidate that makes a greater appeal to racism and white grievance than he does.”

    https://twitter.com/BreeNewsome/status/1171159186744496133

    “I’m glad I’m not on Facebook anymore so I don’t have to watch every quietly racist cousin share that two-babies-hugging video”

    https://twitter.com/JessicaValenti/status/1171402277044838400

    1. Rebel Scum

      Trump’s base is committed to white supremacy.

      “Everyone that disagrees with me on politics is a white-supremacist.”

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Sounds like she’s pro segregation.

    3. Gadfly

      Thanks, Count Potato, for the three consecutive links that should have been to the Bee or the Onion, but sadly were serious. I need a palate cleanser.

      1. pan fried wylie

        links that should have been to the Bee or the Onion, but sadly were serious

        aka Tater Salad

  26. Rebel Scum

    Blackface Barbie

    “The Challenge” star Georgia Harrison was accused of wearing blackface makeup when an old photo resurfaced of the reality TV star.

    A spokesperson for the 24-year-old has denied the allegations.

    “The claim that Georgia is racist is disgusting and really worrying,” Harrison’s rep told People magazine.

    The rep went on to describe how Harrison was at a child’s birthday party “years ago” (in 2014) and had her face painted.

    “The little boy whose birthday it was asked Georgia to have her face painted and he chose to paint it black and silver,” the statement continued. “At no point did Georgia at the time think it would be offensive. Of course now she understands the situation differently and would be horrified to know she’d upset people. However, the bullying campaign that has been launched against Georgia by a couple of angry castmates from The Challenge isn’t fair.”

    Harrison is reportedly working and cannot access her phone to address the allegations herself but the rep insisted they are “in the process of taking legal action for defamation against parties that have labelled [Harrison] racist.”

    Many people on social media have been calling for MTV to fire Harrison over the photo.

    I don’t see the big deal. Also, would.

    1. Raston Bot

      it’s worse than we thought. Georgia is a Raiders fan.

      1. Not sure you can compete with the big, black boyfriend in photo 6.

        1. Raston Bot

          math competition!

        2. Certified Public Asshat

          Do you even read the articles captions? Not her boyfriend.

        3. Rhywun

          “how are you chilling with that racist have you not seen her black face ?”

          OFFS

        4. Trolleric the Goth

          that’s Theo, another Challenge cast member.

          her “ex” is Stephen Bear

    2. Gustave Lytton

      I’m going to using the term puttin’ on the ritz for wearing black face.

      https://youtu.be/OG3PnQ3tgzY

    3. Trolleric the Goth

      As a completely non-ironic and devoted challenge fan, (seriously, probably the only one on this site who has even heard of the show) Georgia is a great competitor and I’m excited to see what she does this season. She got into the Final in the last season (surprising pretty much everybody) and did really well. The relationship with Bear was dumb though, because he’s 100% fuckboy.

      also she’s British so probably not a Raiders fan…

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        *raises hand*

        I watch too. I could do with less fighting and stupid drama, but I like watching the competitions.

    4. one true athena

      She should just say she’ll address it as soon as Northam resigns.

      1. R C Dean

        This should be the standard reply to any blackface accusation.

  27. BakedPenguin

    Palestinian diplomat Saeb Erekat said such annexation moves would “bury any chance of peace”.

    Yeah, because peace was totally going to happen in the absence of this move.

    #USGTFO

    1. R C Dean

      Well, its dead anyway. Prolly ought to bury it.

  28. Titty Tuesday is also tired of my schtick.

    http://archive.is/siLkf

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I enjoy your Schtick

      1. Sean

        Phrasing?

        1. Florida Man

          He said what he said.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          Did he say he enjoy his stick?

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Certain people complained earlier about writing styles getting stale..

    2. BakedPenguin

      So get a new razor.

  29. Gustave Lytton

    So the Israelis are taking Jordan Valley, huh? Good luck with that. I’d have picked a little less desolate spot but on the other hand, not many people to contest it.

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Well the Jordan River’s got bodies floatin’ in it.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      “Jordan Valley’s main occupations are cattle ranching and sheep herding.”

      Why can’t they call it “sheep ranching”? Does the guy just follow them around, but otherwise leave them alone?

      1. Ranches are enclosed by fences. Shepherds herd their sheeps in unenclosed pastures (traditionally, though of late they’ve been sheep ranching)

  30. Oh dear – I’m validating Pie – by baking brownies. I even added chopped dates to the batter with all the fructose that entails.

    1. Florida Man

      Leave Pie alone. LEAVE PIE ALONE!
      *sobs uncontrollably*!

      1. But… these date brownies are delicious.

        1. Florida Man

          That does sound tasty.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Try a date shake. Made famous here: https://hadleyfruitorchards.com/hadleys-date-shake

            I like banana date. It’s pretty rich, so it’s a sipping shake. It lasts me the whole 2 hour car ride home.

          2. Florida Man

            California is possibly best known for its individuality. It is at the very least a “bucket list” item to visit once in your lifetime if you are not a native. –

            I think my eyes rolled into the back of my skull, but yes, I would like to try your shake.

          3. Playa Manhattan

            The Coachella Valley is unique. 120 degree summers, but massive amounts of water.

            There’s an old saying about date palms in Arabic which roughly translates to “Head in the fire, feet in the water”.

            Hadley’s is right at the edge of the valley next to the interstate. If you’re driving to LA, you can’t miss it.

            It’s not a gimmick by any means. They make date shakes because they have a shitload of dates, and they just happen to be really good. Especially with banana.

          4. Tulip

            When my parents were snowbirds and I would visit at Xmas, my mom and I would always go to get a date shake. Great holiday tradition. One a year was enough, kinda like a shamrock shake. One a year is delicious, any more and it’s sickly.

          5. Gender Traitor

            I like banana dates, too, but I haven’t been out on one for a long time./euphemism

    2. Playa Manhattan

      Sorry dude. Dates are mostly sucrose.

      1. Dammit.

        Well, I guess I did add a cup of sugar to the brownies.

        1. Florida Man

          Can’t hurt…

    1. A feral horse that supervises other feral horses.

    2. kinnath

      Another obscenity from Detroit.

    3. Mad Scientist

      It’s an SUV that’s long in the tooth before it’s even released.

    4. Sensei

      My thoughts exactly.

      OTH, CUVs are the rage. I don’t think Porsche can build the Q5, I mean Macan, fast enough…

      1. one true athena

        And each one is about 60K pure profit, IIRC. people are nuts

    5. Not Adahn

      A new Dick Wolf show?

  31. Certified Public Asshat

    Rivian gets $350 million from the company behind Kelley Blue Book

    Rivian won’t even release its first electric truck until late 2020, but that isn’t stopping the company from receiving its third big funding infusion this year. Cox Automotive, the company behind Autotrader and Kelley Blue Book, has made a $350 million equity investment in Rivian. The publications won’t play much of a role, to be clear. Rather, this is about a chance to “explore partnership opportunities” in the other areas of Cox’s business, including digital retail, logistics and service ops. Cox owns companies like Manheim, which services, transports and auctions cars worldwide.

    This isn’t the largest capital injection Rivian has received this year. An Amazon-led round raised $700 million, while Ford poured $500 million into the company to help make a brand-new vehicle. It’s still a large amount, though, and it shows how many in the tech and automotive worlds see Rivian as their great hope. It’s a rare startup that both appears to have a realistic path to mainstream EV sales and the cutting edge technology needed to compete with heavyweights like Tesla. If all goes according to plan, it could offer a fast track to success for those companies that ride its coattails.

    Will this be the one?

    1. Florida Man

      A billion dollars to make a truck?

    2. BakedPenguin

      Cox Automotive, the company behind Autotrader and Kelley Blue Book, has made a $350 million equity investment in Rivian.

      No conflict of interest there.

      1. Not Adahn

        Rivian has the highest resale value of ANYTHING EVER INVENTED

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      No

    4. Crusty Juggler

      Maybe.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        This is the answer I was looking for.

  32. Rebel Scum

    Buttigieg: ‘Life Begins When A Person Registers As A Democrat’

    Mayor Pete Buttigieg has come under fire after claiming that life only begins when you register as a Democrat.

    “Many conservative ‘Christians’ have bought into this lie that life begins at conception,” Buttigieg said during a radio interview. “This flies in the face of basic biology, which teaches us that life begins when you register as a Democrat.”

    Buttigieg went on to say that women can kill their children all the way up until the point when they choose to register as a Democrat since they are not humans up until that “miraculous moment.”

    “There’s a lot of parts of the Bible that talk about how life begins with that first vote you cast,” he went on. “Even that is something that we can interpret differently from those dumb, backward Christians who insist on a literal, biological definition of life. But most sensible Americans can get on board with the idea of, ‘I might draw the line at voting for a far-left candidate, you might draw the line at the point when that first registration card is sent in.’”

    “The important thing is that we arbitrarily declare when a person becomes a person,” he added.

    Buttigieg also made the claim that a person still continues to be a living, breathing person and a valued member of the Democratic party long after they die.

    1. Rhywun

      LOL

  33. Tundra

    In news that surprises exactly no thinking person:

    Renewables Threaten German Economy & Energy Supply, McKinsey Warns In New Report

    Despite much hype, Germany still generates just 35% of its electricity from renewables. And if biomass burning, often dirtier than coal, is excluded, wind, water and solar electricity in Germany accounted for just 27% of electricity generation in 2018.

    But McKinsey issues its strongest warning when it comes to Germany’s increasingly insecure energy supply due to its heavy reliance on intermittent solar and wind. For three days in June 2019, the electricity grid came close to black-outs.

    “Only short-term imports from neighboring countries were able to stabilize the grid,” the consultancy notes.

    As a result of Germany’s energy supply shortage, the highest observed cost of short-term “balancing energy” skyrocketed from €64 in 2017 to €37,856 in 2019.

    “It can be assumed that security of supply will continue to worsen in the future,” says McKinsey.

    Pssst, idiots, the answer is nuclear.

    1. Rhywun

      Ha, they’re even more anti-nuke than Americans. I think they already shut all their plants down.

      1. Florida Man

        Don’t worry, they buy their electricity from France, which is mostly nuclear, but their hands are clean because it’s the frogs that are evil.

  34. LJW

    PSA.

    I feel like a dummy after this one. I try to be responsible and go through my monthly bills. Today I noticed on my cell phone bill I was being taxed by 3 cities, and have so for several years now. Turns out with my carrier, when you change your account address it doesn’t change the individual subscribers addresses. Therefore you are billed taxes for the original activation address of each subscribers unless you also update each individual sub address. So we’ve been paying taxes on previous addresses. Check your cell phone bills closely! Side note the government loves to STEVE SMITH us on cell phone taxes and fees. Approximately $43 a month is stolen from me in the form of taxes and fees.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Tracfone. Sure the service sucks, but I don’t pay $20 a month, all in.

      But I only talk on my phone, like a Grandpa should.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      No contract, no hidden Bullshit 35$ a month

    3. I’m on cricket, $70/mo for 2 phones and as much data as we ever use. AT&T network, so coverage is fine.

      I’m on wifi almost anywhere I go, so I don’t need too much.

    4. Not Adahn

      But without those fees, how will we ever fund the Spanish-American war?

    5. I bundled my phone and internet via AT&T. Asked them to charge me full price for the phone but give me the biggest discount possible on high speed internet. They did. I pay only $50/month for high speed and expense the phone to my employer 🙂

  35. Crusty Juggler

    Pennywise Is Surprisingly Anti-Queer in It Chapter Two

    In the aftermath of 2017’s It, Bill Skarsgård’s Pennywise the Dancing Clown became something of a gay icon. Between memes and makeup tutorials, Pennywise was everywhere — he and another monstrous LGBTQ+ favorite, the Babadook, were seen as #couplegoals. But after seeing It Chapter Two, I’m sad to announce that Pennywise is not gay, or even an ally. In fact, Pennywise is surprisingly anti-queer.

    Someone wrote that, y’alls.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      We were OK with him eating kids, but gay-bashing is just too much.

    2. Rhywun

      Trump’s America strikes again!

      LOL!

    3. Hold up…the Babadook? The Babadook and a spider monster that turns into a scary clown to eat children are gay icons? Did…um…gay people make that decision, or…

      Also, I’ve seen both movies and I didn’t get a WTFBBQ vibe from either of them at all, like not even a little bit. Christ, wait ’til the author watches Brideshead Revisited.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Someone made a joke about The Babadook being gay. Other people joked back and forth about it photoshopping pride flags and sassy shirts and things. Eventually it spilled outside the bounds of people who were in on the joke and there was a ton of kitschy images floating around. People found it fun and put it on shirts and capitalism did the rest.

        Disclaimer: I haven’t read the novel or seen the movies, but from what I’ve read Stephen King used a gay bashing as the backdrop for IT and some of the subtext in the movie, which some have pointed out is subtle enough that straight people won’t pick up on it, is the psychological damage of the closet.

    4. AlmightyJB

      Mom! The killer monster clown won’t be my friend!

  36. Crusty Juggler

    Another Multiracial Family Falsely Accused of Sex Trafficking While Flying

    ARE PRODUCTS FROM STATE-LICENSED DISPENSARIES SAFE?

    Most of the cases involve products purchased on the street, not in dispensaries in states with legal sales of medical or recreational weed. One person who died in Oregon had used an e-cigarette containing marijuana oil purchased from a dispensary. Health officials there don’t know whether the product was contaminated or whether the victim may have added something to the liquid in the device after buying it.

    WHAT’S THE BEST ADVICE RIGHT NOW?

    Health officials are urging people to stop vaping and to get medical care if they have trouble breathing or chest pain after vaping.

    ITS MADNESS

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Wut?

      1. Crusty Juggler

        STOP VAPING YOU FOOL!

      2. Crusty Juggler

        Also an actual link to the story.

        Lives are at stake and I’m making jokes over here.

  37. Crusty Juggler

    Juul gave presentations in schools to kids—and the FDA is fuming

    The Food and Drug Administration on Monday came out swinging at e-cigarette giant Juul over a variety of its unproven safety claims and startling marketing practices—most notably saying without evidence that its products are safer than smoking traditional cigarettes and giving presentations directly to kids in schools—in at least one alleged case, without teachers present or parental consent.

    “Regardless of where products like e-cigarettes fall on the continuum of tobacco product risk, the law is clear that, before marketing tobacco products for reduced risk, companies must demonstrate with scientific evidence that their specific product does in fact pose less risk or is less harmful,” acting FDA Commissioner Dr. Ned Sharpless said in a statement Monday. “JUUL has ignored the law, and very concerningly, has made some of these statements in school to our nation’s youth.

    Thanks for punishing those who hurt our kids, President Trump!

    1. Rhywun

      Juul is not a tobacco product.

      Try again.

    2. tarran

      I’m pretty sure that every year the ratio between the number of people killed by the FDA and the number of people killed by vaping is a number that is much much greater than 100.

    3. R C Dean

      saying without evidence that its products are safer than smoking traditional cigarettes

      Srsly?

      1. Rhywun

        This panic with the sketchy THC liquid is giving them the perfect opportunity to crack down and they will use every dirty trick in the book to do it.

  38. Crusty Juggler

    Gay penguins at London aquarium are raising ‘genderless’ chick

    The same-sex penguin couple Rocky and Marama made headlines this year after adopting a chick at the Sea Life London Aquarium, and now the longtime duo is making history — by parenting what may be the world’s first “genderless” penguin chick.

    The 4-month-old chick, who has yet to be named, “will be the first of its kind in the history of the famous London aquarium not to be characterized as male or female,” according to Sea Life.

    “While the decision may ruffle a few feathers, gender neutrality in humans has only recently become a widespread topic of conversation,” Graham McGrath, the aquarium’s general manager, said in a statement. “However, it is completely natural for penguins to develop genderless identities as they grow into mature adult

    The person who wrote “ruffle a few feathers” should be immediately beheaded.

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      An egg-cellent idea.

    2. Did drug fall out his ass?

      1. Spudalicious

        Did you hear that Lou Reed has leprosy?

    3. Are they really lesbians? I’m guessing one of them just tux.

  39. Crusty Juggler

    A Decade of Music Is Lost on Your iPod. These Are The Deleted Years. Now Let Us Praise Them.

    The Deleted Years, by my count, ran from 2003 to 2012—give or take a year or two on either side—from the time the Apple Music Store opened to right around when we really started to use Spotify. In the early years of the new millennium, the music industry was crashing from its decadent late ‘90s peak, and record stores were beginning to drop like the early victims in Contagion. Napster was taking a chunk out of sales, though some of us still purchased music, whether to assuage our guilty consciences or because the peer-to-peer services were too unpredictable. But if you were an early adopter of Apple Music Store, as I was, everything you bought from 2003 to 2009 is stuck on a dusty iPod for which a charger can no longer be found, or on a MacBook that’s three MacBooks ago. Whether you bought that whole first Kaiser Chiefs album or just plunked down the 99 cents for “I Predict A Riot,” you don’t have it anymore. It simply does not exist for you, and it didn’t even leave behind a record sleeve to let you know it ever did. Now the era is over, and only a handful of neglected Maxell compact discs reminds me that I used to be really into The Pipettes.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I thought the Interwebs were forever?

      1. The musics is still on the interwebs, he’s talking about the Ipods and Macbooks he downloaded them on, It’s like all those Captain and Tennille 8-tracks you have no way to listen to anymore.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Cassettes, not 8 tracks, we grew out of that about ’79

          1. ’86 got my first car (a pumpkin colored pinto) complete with an eight track player, you could still buy them and more importantly to my broke ass they were ubiquitous at garage sales across the mid west. Had an old caddy in ’99 still had an 8-track player I had one cassette left Queen Live Killers. Played the shit outta that mutha.

        2. Rhywun

          I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. I haven’t “lost” any of my music in 20 years.

          But if you were an early adopter of Apple Music Store, as I was, everything you bought from 2003 to 2009 is stuck on a dusty iPod for which a charger can no longer be found, or on a MacBook that’s three MacBooks ago.

          Which is why iTunes offers to download it again for you. Hurr durr. Or, and this might sound crazy, you can restore your library from a backup.

    2. Rhywun

      Um… this person does know that you can copy your music library to new devices… right?

      1. I doubt it. They probably buy it all over again whenever they get a new device.

      2. Crusty Juggler

        Like you don’t know who Dave Holmes is.

        1. Rhywun

          You got me there. I don’t know who Dave Holmes is.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            You expect us to believe you didn’t watch MTV’s first Wanna Be a DJ contest in 1998?

            HA!

          2. I didn’t have cable in 1998.

          3. Crusty Juggler

            Ted S. = Rhywun confirmed!

            I CRACKED THE CODE!

          4. Rhywun

            I had cable in 1998.

          5. Bobarian LMD

            They’re both Tulpa.

            But you knew that, Tulpa.

      3. Tulip

        I still buy cds. Usually I can buy the CD and get the download included for about a dollar less than just buying the download. Cranky old lady wins!

        1. I do that too sometimes.

        2. Mad Scientist

          I always buy the CD and rip it myself. The bitrate on the files you can just download is usually horrible.

          1. That’s what I do too.

        3. Since Tool started streaming (not a euphemism) there’s no reason for mois to buy CDs.

  40. Crusty Juggler

    One of these QBs is 23 and the other is 42

    My God what’s happening.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I didn’t recognize Brady at all, and who’s the other Guy? John Bolton’s younger brother?

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Jackson Jaguars dreamboat Gardner Minshew.

        1. Crusty Juggler

          Jacksonville. I was so worried about spelling that mug’s last name I messed up, cuz.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            he should apply for NSA Director,

  41. Crusty Juggler

    Try to court Colonel Sanders in KFC’s dating sim

    KFC does weird stuff all the time — from a line of KFC-flavored nail polish to a chicken wing box that doubles as a drone. But it’s really outdone itself this time. Today, a listing for a KFC dating game, I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator, appeared on Steam. Created with the help of Psyop, the game is a work in progress, but KFC promises it will be “the most delicious dating simulator ever.”

    The game will put you in the shoes of a culinary student, trying to date your classmate, a young Colonel Sanders. You’ll have to navigate school and friendships as you try to win Sanders over as a business partner “or maybe even so much more.” The game includes secret recipes, cooking battles, “battle battles” and a secret ending. According to Polygon, one of the characters is a dog, who is also a professor. Why not.

    I’d spice his biscuit, if you know what I mean.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Oh damn, that’s hilarious.

      2. I mean, “11 Secret Herbs and Spices” has a distinctly Asian feel to it. Just call it “Eleven Heavenly Seasoning Powder” and you’ve got something you’d buy in a Chinatown grocery store.

      3. Tulip

        At the top of that page is a banner asking people to photograph monuments. Being me, I want to inundate them with photos of giant fiberglass mascots. Those things are all over the lakes region of Minnesota; Paul Bunyan, the giant turkey in Frazee etc. Who’s with me?!

        1. Tulip

          Ooh, ooh, the Green Giant. C’mon, it’ll be awesome!

          1. My first thought was the Bob’s Big Boy mascot thing.

            I’ve seen a Little Caesar’s dude.

          2. Tulip

            Yes, yes, that would be great!

        2. jesse.in.mb

          I have a lotta pictures of Bunyans from the PNW, Minnesota and a smattering of places in SoCal and the SW.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            And a lot of creepy Paul Bunyan cos-play.

  42. Crusty Juggler

    Ousted National Security advisor John Bolton calls Donald Trump a LIAR for claiming he was fired and insists he resigned, amid claims the pair clashed over president’s plan to host the Taliban at Camp David

    After Trump announced Bolton’s departure, federal agents were seen at his Washington, D.C. home, removing government property including computer equipment and a shredder.

    His abrupt departure and its ugly public aftermath was reportedly set off by the two disagreeing over Trump’s plan to host Taliban representatives at Camp David for peace talks last weekend, days before the 18th anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks.

    Trump publicly announced the cancellation of the previously unreported peace talk plan on Saturday evening; Bolton’s had strongly opposed dealing with the Taliban face-to-face.

    Ambassador to Germany Ric Grenell quickly emerged as a leading candidate to be Trump’s fourth national security adviser in less than three years. One source said the president brought his name up to members of his senior staff shortly after tweeting about Bolton’s dismissal.

    Grenell was an early Trump backer and is the administration’s highest ranking openly gay official. A source close to Grenell said Tuesday that he knows ‘how to deliver in a tough post.’ A State Department official speculated that the president might choose him because ‘one of the most reliably hard-charging diplomats’ in the U.S. foreign service.

    The Red Eye pipeline continues.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Gay? check.
      Hard Charging? check
      this could be a Fabulous pick!

  43. Chipping Pioneer

    OT: Day 8: Red Sox and Freedom Trail

    Went to the Yankess at Red Sox last night. Great ZARDOZ, baseball is boring. Left at the 7th inning stretch and watched the rest of the game at the hotel. (h/t Crusty on the bathroom Intel).

    Pre-game, all half hour of it, was all about diversity and inclusion. And Big Papi*. Wifey asked if he had been ill. No, that dude got shot.

    Did the entire Freedom Trail today. Highly recommended. The revolutionaries fought for liberty at significant personal risk and cost. It strikes me that there’s no way that would happen today.

    A good quote from today:

    Those who cannot bear free speech had best go home. Faneuil Hall is no place for slavish hearts.

    — Wendell Phillips

    1. Chipping Pioneer

      Also, Wrigley > Fenway. Fight me.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        You’re welcome! There’s nothing quite like having an overactive bladder in that stinky nightmare.

      2. BakedPenguin

        What, you don’t like bad parking a pissing in a gutter? Friggin’ Canadians!

  44. Crusty Juggler

    Bill Burr’s New Stand-up Special Is So Much Better Than Its First 4 Minutes

    The opening of Paper Tiger feels like Burr leaning into exactly that proposition. For the first several minutes, he flips quickly through complaints about the overanalysis of jokes, how white women are to blame for the current lamentable state of culture in the United States, and jokes about disabled characters being played by able-bodied actors. In his biggest and most convincingly risky swing, the first few minutes include a bit about Michelle Obama. Burr, in full character as angriest man in the world, is not a Michelle fan. It is an opening segment that dares you to turn the special off in disgust — the kind of opening that makes the special’s closing credit for executive producer Dave Becky utterly unsurprising. It is exactly what the trailer suggests Paper Tiger will be: furious, resentful troll comedy that plays like a toddler yelling the only swear word they know, desperately begging for someone to punish them.

    It’d be hard to blame anyone for turning Paper Tiger off at that point. Misbehaving toddlers grasping for parental boundaries are no one’s idea of good company. The thing is that once Burr moves past that part of the special — once he gets through the sexist throat-clearing and the tick-the-box list of rebellious trollish vocab — the rest of the special is differen

    Then 1400000 words of faux intellectual drivel agonizingly breaking down why it’s funny.

    It’s frustrating that Burr feels the need to start by roaring so aggressively, because anyone who showed up to see a tiger is actually getting something subtler and more carefully crafted.

    So it’s funny. Got it.

    1. Somehow if that bit had been about Melania Trump instead I don’t think the critic would have disliked the fort four minutes.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Insightful.

  45. Crusty Juggler

    The Ballad Of Jeremy Renner’s App And The Glory Of Failed Social Engineering

    It’s hard to beat the story from this past week about Jeremy Renner having to shut down his official app because Stefan Heck decided to write “porno” on it. You can appreciate it on a shallow level — “Jeremy Renner,” “official Jeremy Renner app,” and “porno,” are all funny on their own and even better together — but also on a slightly deeper level, as a failed attempt at a social engineering project gone gloriously right. It says a lot about this weird cultural moment, as they say.

    The natural response to the Jeremy Renner app story, other than laughter, is probably first to wonder “wait, Jeremy Renner has an app?” Followed quickly by pondering the questions of why Jeremy Renner has an app, and what a Jeremy Renner app could possibly do.

    We haven’t figured out how to fix or repurpose or reuse, only to build new, to make shiny things for the cool kids to enjoy for a few months before the cat aunts and stink uncles move in. It’s wasteful and kind of exhausting once you recognize the pattern. And yet… every once in awhile, there’s a glitch or a hiccup in the system that reminds us that we’re not dead yet.

    The Jeremy Renner app’s failure was one of those brief moments, where human ingenuity briefly defeated human predictability. It took something pointless and turned it into art.

    A great piece about the subject, if you care, but you don’t so why bother?

    “My vision of the future is so exact that if I had children, I should strangle them here and now.”

    1. Rhywun

      To say nothing of capitalism, the evilest cat aunt of all, turning your dog video website into an extremism engine.

      Capitalism ate my homework.

      1. Tulip

        I remember getting frustrated with student who was complaining about candy bars being too cheap compared to healthy food and saying “capitalism doesn’t give you what you need, it gives you what you want!”

        1. capitalism doesn’t give you what you need, it gives you what you want

          Out of the mouths of babes …

          1. Tulip

            ,oops, I said that part. I no haz writing skillz

      2. Tulip

        People want to make fun of pretentious actors, capitalism let’s them.

        1. Rhywun

          I doubt that person even knows what capitalism is.

      3. pistoffnick

        “Capitalism ate my homework.”

        Capitalism stole my girlfriend and kicked sand in my face!

  46. Bartenders might be many things to many people, but goddamm they’re pros at not making eye contact.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Bill I believe this is killing me,
      As the smile ran away from his face,
      I think that I could be a movie star,
      If I could get out of this place ……
      La la la lalala,

      1. Spudalicious

        You’re old.

        That was one of the albums that formed my early music tastes.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Cassette!

          2. Spudalicious

            Vinyl.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            Wax tube.

  47. Hyperion

    Well, you know. I know it’s old news, but I hear that the Stache of War lost on the latest episode of the Apprentice of War?

    1. Spudalicious

      Skipped right past the links, eh?

      1. Hyperion

        The links didn’t exist before I knew this, to be fair. I watch every episode of the Stache of Doom Apprentice.

  48. Hyperion

    Heh, got into a discussion with one of my co-workers today, and she was asking me about this gender thing. Seriously. She asked me if the 3rd checkbox should be ‘binary’. And I said ‘You mean non-binary, right? Something all modern woke software devs need to know?’. And then I said ‘I gotta take a piss, but look it up. Then I came back and she’s like ‘You’re right, it’s non-binary! Thanks!’. We’re fucking doomed. That is the best news I have.

    1. AlmightyJB

      You didn’t go with Steve Smith then.

      1. Hyperion

        Urr, uhh, I don’t know what you mean. I told her a couple times that there are only 2 genders, which just got giggles, and then I told her ‘the checkbox is non-binary’. I ain’t even making this shit up. Put the fucking checkbox on the web form and then enjoy the fact that idiots are paying you more than they will ever earn.

    2. Rhywun

      When I’m coding up a Sex list I always use Male, Female, Unknown.

      1. Hyperion

        I don’t mind “I prefer not to answer” or something like that. But they’ll never be satisfied because it’s only about attention.

      2. BakedPenguin

        If you ever quit your job, do a form as ‘Male, Female, Fucked up’.

  49. straffinrun

    Regime change. Nice.

  50. Tulip

    I’m thinking of buying a vespa for commuting. Anyone have one, suggestions, comments?

    1. Tres Cool

      I have a Honda VTX1300 and a Suzuki GS-R 600. My best friend has a Honda scooter.
      All I can say is- at least you’re a chick

      1. Hyperion

        4 wheels, or Gay. Decide.

        1. Tulip

          I already have a Rav4, and online dating is kinda turning me off men.

          1. Hyperion

            “online dating is kinda turning me off men.”

            I loved online dating. I mean before I had my female ‘best friends’ to tell me that I should just give that up because only women do well at it. Before I found out that was bullshit. I mean and then I got married.

            But yeah, you gotta filter, guys can be sort of disgusting to say the least. Online dating is the ultimate, just learn to filter bullshit and to it right.

          2. Tulip

            Doing my best to filter

          3. Hyperion

            It will pay off. I found my wife online. 11 years now, I have no regrets. The thing is, you just expanded your available options a million times over. Take good pics, be honest, it works.

          4. Tulip

            I had a friend take pics just before I started. So, what you see is what you get. I’m getting plenty of attention, but my god, there are creeps out there

          5. Hyperion

            Ignore the creeps, that’s all you can do.

          6. BakedPenguin

            Whatever do you mean, Tulip?

          7. Met Mr. Mojeaux online. 17 years Friday.

            Of course, my kid rants should turn you off all by themselves.

          8. Tulip

            No kids for me

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Don’t talk about Tres like that, Jugsy might find out she’s not the big girl she thought she was….

    2. Sean

      People on the road are psychos. Reconsider.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey!!!¡
        /Road puppet

      2. Tulip

        It’s all back roads to work. 25 mph speed limits. You can’t take a vespa on the interstate.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          You would be insane to try

        2. Sean

          My boss was tooling around a business area on his motorcycle, not an interstate and woke up in a hospital. 10+ broken ribs, messed up shoulder, broken teeth, and no memory of what happened at the intersection that required him to get a helicopter ride to the hospital.

          Doesn’t have to be your fault.

          I have another friend who got clipped by a SUV while on his motorcycle (low speed again), they never stopped and he got a fucked up shoulder in the deal.

    3. Deck it out with four or six extra side mirrors and headlamps and make sure to wear an olive drab rain slicker while riding.

      1. Tulip

        I’m missing the joke, why olive drab?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            You wear your war time coat in the wind and sleet.

  51. Yusef drives a Kia

    The daughter just got home from work and g kids from school, and Bella is hyped, kids!!!!
    And proceeds to torpedo the 3 year old, knocked on her ass, 2 minutes later it’s love the Belly dog! Kids bounce well

    1. Tulip

      Because dogs are awesome.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Bella is a traveling War dog, who will lick your face and drink your beer, none better, for me

        1. Tulip

          I had to take Babs home once because she drank my neighbors beer. He had a red solo cup and set it on the ground. He went to take a drink and it was empty and Babs looked woozy. Oops, not paying enough attention

    2. Hyperion

      I remember my Blue Merle Aussie, who I nicknamed ‘The Terrible Tornado’. Knocked a lot of people on their ass just playing.

    3. Not Adahn

      I was born into a family with dogs, and some of my earliest memories are trying to sprint from the back door to the swing set before the dogs could knock me down.

  52. Tulip

    So, I have a date tomorrow. Second date. He’s much more into me than I am him, but he keeps getting pushier. Bring your dog, you can stay over (he was traveling for work and we texted every day). I’m, no. Let’s meet publicly.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I would be too creeped out for that, it’s bad enough meeting new musicians,

    2. KibbledKristen

      2nd date is definitely public territory only!

      1. Hyperion

        Good to see you here again, KK.

        1. KibbledKristen

          ‘Sup! Good to be witchyall

      2. Tulip

        That’s my response

    3. SP

      I’m pretty much done with men, too.

      1. Hyperion

        Sure you are. Until next time.

      2. Spudalicious

        I thought that’s why you married OMWC?

    4. SugarFree

      Second date sleepover? WTF, dude?

      Make sure someone knows where you are tomorrow.

    5. commodious spittoon

      He’s much more into me than I am him

      And this is why I don’t date. Attraction is admitting weakness, and I’ll be damned if I’m going in to a one-sided fight like that.

      ALOOF 4 LIFE, BITCH

      (and also single).

  53. KibbledKristen

    I just saw Eric Roberts slur his way through a spokesmodel gig for a walk-in bathtub.

    My brain is still trying to make sense of such a series on non-sequiturs.